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When All Hope Is Lost: Discover Powerful Insights to Find Your Strength · Motivation Mindset Podcast

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: That life's gonna get better if you believe it will.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: That just having that blind faith that you know, whatever
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: is happening to you right now is meant to happen
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: for you for a greater good. And I know it's
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: gonna it's tough right now for you to hear that,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: but you can even look at it two ways. You
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: can look at it that this is like whate was me,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: this is gonna happen, This is happening to me, and
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I'm going to you know, blame everybody else and respond
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: in a way that's gonna make my life worse. Or
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I can acknowledge that I'm using this situation to become
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: a better version of me, to be able to help
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: other people going forward. And I think with that it
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: kind of gives you a positive approach to it where
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: they can look at it and say, you know what,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: like I'm going through this pain right now. I acknowledge
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: I'm going through it, but it's gonna be make me
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: one hell of a man growing up, and that ultimately
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: it's gonna save my ass. You know as I grow up.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: You got yourself here, you're here right now, and you can,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: you know, man up and do what you need to
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: do to get better, or you can be a bit
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: go cry in the corner, blame everybody for your problem,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: say woe is me. And I think sometimes in our lives,
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: when we're feeling that hopelessness, we're in that rat race
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: of just feeling sorry for ourselves and saying, your life's
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: never gonna get better. It's tough, and I think especially
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: when we don't believe I have that belief in ourselves.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: When somebody says I believe in you and you can
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: do it, and I'm gonna help show you the way
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: to get you started, I was like, I'd never had
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: anybody do that to me before, that unconditional love. I
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: just felt like this void being filled. Whether we believe
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: we can or we believe we can't, right, it's the
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: same answer. And for me, I always believe that I couldn't.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be able to do it.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: I'm not.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: And you're your own direction, you're your own power, and
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: you're your own beginning. This is the power that you
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: deserve into power that honestly you should trust. Remember, your
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: life is in your control, not anybody Else's. A lot
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: of people are gonna tell you to do this or
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: do that, or say I'm just a product of my environment.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: That's not true. In your hands, this very moment is
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: your journey, journey that allows you to be someone fueled
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: by your potential.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Keep going, keep going, keep going.
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: Now isn't the time to wait. Now isn't the time
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: to waste. Let this be the power that takes you
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: towards your success. This is the opportunity you've earned, This
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: is the potential you've always had. Step out of the
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: crowd and step into your success.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: And I think in life we can't change the past, right,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: we can only learn and grow from it. So there's
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: no sense in like harping on mistakes you made.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: They're done.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Like I always say, fail more, because if you never
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: made a mistake, it means you never tried. If you
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: never tried, it means you never took a chance. And
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: if you never took a chance, you never believe in yourself.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: You never had faith. And faith we need faith. You
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: need to believe in yourself. And it doesn't matter how
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: many times you failed. What matters is you keep getting
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: up every day and trying again. And that's what really
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: is important. At knowing that each day you have an
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: opportunity to change, keep going, keep going, keep going.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Take the risk that allow you to become something more,
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: that allows you to change your view on life, that
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: allow you to look through a different pair of eyes,
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: one that grants you the power to see something and
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: to know how to change it. To look at life
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: as an opportunity, an opportunity to feel like somebody knew,
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: someone with the potential that can keep moving forward.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: We're not defined by our circumstances. We're defined by the
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: choices we make in response to our circumstances. And I
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: think people don't. They don't like to look at pain
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: like they don't people like are afraid of pain. They
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: don't want to be hurt, They want to be coddled,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: They want this, they want that. Pain's great, man, And
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I think we need to change the way we view pain,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: because pain can really be the catalyst for purpose.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, you think.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: About working out right. One of the things I love
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: about fitness is how it can be such an influential
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: part in so many other areas of your life. You
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: have to fail to grow stronger, you have to fail
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: to run faster, you have to be in pain, and
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: so using that pain to get better and you grow
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: from it.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: Graft until you feel pain rise from your toes up
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: to the highest point of your head. Not until then
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: will you know you've made it, made it past the fear,
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: past failure, and towards achievement. You're in the right place.
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: Your place is here. This is where it all starts,
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: where your life finally falls into place where you don't
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: just see progress, you become it. You have it, you
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: feel it within you. This is when you know you've
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: made it, when you know you've.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Grown, trusting the process, being patient. If they're not seeing
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: results as fast as they want, quitting isn't going to
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: help them get there. So I just try to help
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: them see that. Just change their mindset, change their perspective.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Be grateful, you know, be as positive as you can be,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: because I think positivity is one of those it's like
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: one of those buzz where it's not like be positive,
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: be this, be that. Which You can't be positive about everything,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: because there's some things in life that suck that you
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: got to be look at it and be like, well,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I'm a hundred pounds every weeg.
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: Like that sucks.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: But I think the key is being positive about the
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: way you're going about doing things is what changes things,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: because if you're pessimistic and negative, you're not gonna do
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: And I think so many people are afraid to look
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: at themselves in the mirror and realize that they're the problem.
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: Like they realize that.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: They're the ones complaining, sting and moaning, and that them
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: being coddled and at sugarcoating everything is the reason that
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: they're not getting anywhere in life. Reaching a goal sucks,
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: it takes a lot of hard work, but not achieving
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: the goal sucks even more so, trusers suck. Do you
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: want to suck by not achieving it? Or do you
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: want to suck by working hard, putting in passion, putting
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: in discipline, commitment and hard work and then achieving something.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: And that's how you build confidence, is you know, tackling
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: things you never thought you could do, trying things and
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: failing and getting back up and keep them going and
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: keep them going. And like, it doesn't matter how many
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: times you get punched in the mouth, It matters how
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: many times you fight back. And I think a lot
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: of times, Tom, Like, I love this analogy because it
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: relates to so many people in a fight. If you
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: and I were to sit here and I were just
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: you were to start punching me at random, sucker punching
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: me like when I stand here and let you beat
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: the piss.
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: Out of me, like I would hope not right. But
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: in life we went.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Life beat the piss out of us. When we make
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: our circumstances even worse by when a negative event happens,
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: we get depressed, or we feel petty for ourselves or
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: return to quick fixes like drugs, alcohol, and it makes
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: our situation worse. So when you unpack the layer and
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: you give that tough love of saying you know what,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: like you need to change, like you need to look
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: at yourself in the mirror and stop being a victims,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: stop blaming other people and take ownership for yourself and
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: stop waiting for other people to fix your life.
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: What is it that you're waiting for? How much do
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: you want it? Ask yourself? This what's more valuable waiting
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: or your time? Your power and your action. This is
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: where your journey starts. This is where you grow, grow,
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: adapt improve to become the person you admire. This is you,
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: This can be you.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: I think our beliefsism about ourselves can be so like
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: hijacked based on what people say about us, and then
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: we start to believe it, whether it's like you know,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: you're ugly, you're a pussy, you suck, you suck, you're
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: on athletic, you're and then sure enough of if it
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: happens every years, you start to believe that about yourself,
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: if you have no confidence in who you are, and
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: I think the more you can own who you are
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: and just chase after your own dreams and stop worrying
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: about everybody else, then those things start to become wise.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: When people saying, you know what your pieces, you suck,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: when you know if you know about yourself like that,
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: that's not true. I mean, that's what self love is.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: It's just really knowing truly inside of you who you are. Well,
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: I think you gotta look at your why, like why
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: you're doing it, because I think when you have a
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: strong enough why, like the what's in the house becoming irrelevant,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: you remember like why you started. Because I think we
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: spend so much time worrying about what everybody else is doing,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: we've lost track of who we are as a person
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: right and just looking within, whether that's in meditation and
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: prayer or journaling, to really figure out like the things
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: we like, the people we like, you know, where we
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: like going, and all that stuff, and then kind of
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: filter that into your life organically. In order to get
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: where you're going, you gotta to know where you're at.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Keep going, keep going, keep going.
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: You have this power. Communicate your problems, communicate the power
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: you know that you have. This is the beginning of
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: your power, the start of your progress. This is where
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: it starts. This is where you become something, something better
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: than now, Where you build a life for yourself, one
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: where you hold the reins, where you make the final cut,
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: where you have that power. This risk is what will
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: take you in the direction where you control your life
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: at last.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: So you have to deliberately practice the weaknesses and make
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: them as strong as you can, while also practicing your
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: strengths and making those the top of your performance. Most
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: people are too lazy to do that. They just want
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: to practice everything, or they don't want to even bother
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: to figure out which piece is the most important. You
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: have to dig the well before you're thirsty, and you
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: have to give without the attachment to getting something in return.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: So when people want to reach out, stop thinking about
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: what's in it for you, start thinking about only what's
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: in it for other people, And if you don't worry
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: about what's in it for you, you will find opportunities
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: that come later down the line. And to sort of
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: illustrate this, when I moved to La, I had a
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: toothache and it started to get more and more painful,
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: and it really was starting to dig into my brain
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: and think I didn't have a car and move from
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: New York. This is pre uber I didn't have dental
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: insurance because I was twenty seven, and you know who
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: cares about your teeth? Right?
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: You think about those later.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I'll get new ones. And so I started to desperately
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: call dentists and they were like, oh, look, I don't
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: take new patients, or I can see you in a week.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: Go to the er if you have a toothache. And
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking a week, I haven't slept. You know this
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: thing is killing me. So I posted on Facebook, and
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: obviously I didn't have my privacy settings set correctly because
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: of random stranger filled in the comment and said, my
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: aunts a dentist near you. Do you want me to
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: give a call? And I said sure, yeah, So I
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: went to his aunt the next morning before they officially opened,
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: got that thing drilled the hell out, got it filled.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: She didn't overcharge me. I send this guy a message,
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: thank you so much. He goes, no problem, man, I
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: don't know what you do. I heard you have some
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: show that my friend likes. But I'm glad you got
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: your tooth taken care of. And I said, let me
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: know if there's anything I can do. He said, well,
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: I'm a graphic designer, but I'm working at a cafe
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: right now as a barista. I would love to just
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: not make another cup of coffee again. And I said, well,
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: I don't have any work for you, but I'll keep
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: my ear to the ground. He said, whatever you can do,
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: no problem. I don't expect you to give me a job.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Four days later, another entrepreneur friend of mine. She writes
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: me and says, my web guys are blowing it. I
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: keep firing them. Who can create good branding for me?
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: I said, I've never worked with this guy, but here's
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: a portfolio. He's a nice person. That's really all I
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: can say. That guy got a full time job, as
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: far as I know, still works there years later, designing
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: websites and templates and themes and branding for this woman's
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: company because he helped me find it dentists on Facebook.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: So if he had been thinking how do I get
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: a job, he would never have made that introduction to
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: a dentist because the connection, the nexus is unclear. The
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: opportunity lie over the horizon. But since he was helping
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: without the attachment or expectation of anything in return, he
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: ended up finding an opportunity through me that I didn't
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: know about and that he didn't know about. But you
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: won't find those unless you are constantly reaching out, digging
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: the well before you're thirsty, and giving without that expectation
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: of anything in return.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Keep going, Keep going, Keep going,