Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #170 How Dare You Message My Wife!

Transcript

#170 How Dare You Message My Wife! · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You are looking a little bit red in the sun.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: So embarrassed. What happened? I have so neck?
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Damn? Well what happened? You get started?
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Welcome, Welcome back to two Darting Dads.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I'm Manage and this is a podcast all about parenting.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: It is the good, it is the bad.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: And one thing we will never ever ever do.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Even if our lives depended on it. Well, well I
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: probably would in that case, but I was just trying
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: to be dramatic. We will never give advice, No, never
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: give advice. But we are back from the snow. We
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: have returned to the motherland.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Well have we returned? And I guess so some of
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: us are rather than others. Yeah, what's the deal with
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: the red five? Some of us has some injuries? Ash,
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Why do I always get hurt?
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: I actually I don't know what's happened, But the first
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: hour of the day I can barely move.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I'm still I have to, like, it must be nice
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: to be able to move. Take your neck brace off,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: for God's sake, it is uncomfortable. Can I take it off? Please?
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: We tell people what happened though, Yeah, oh god, it's
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: like I can imagine that's what it's like when women
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: take their bra off at the end of the day.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Am I right? Sorry? I said, I can imagine that's
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: what it's like. I don't know, but I guess that's
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: what it would feel like.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Well said, we were at the Snow, we were at Parashat.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: It was a journey that was not without its mistakes.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of effort, would be honest.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: You know what, Let's start from the beginning.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Let's do that. It's a very long drive. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: we split it that. What do you mean, Yeah, it
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: is a long drive. We split it up though. I
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: think that was the smart joint drive like a maniac.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I did really hook it when it was my turn.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I'm waiting for the speed fins to come through in that.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Car, and then I'm going to disappear.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: I made a mistake. I put my hand up. I
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: did something wrong. Sure, sure, I booked the wrong accommodation.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: We had a night in Canberra before then making our
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: way back onto the Snow. The next morning. We checked
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: it at nine o'clock.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Well, we tried to check in at nine o'clock. Let
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: me just correct you. There. I was in the car
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: because it was my stint you're like, I'll get out,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: I'll sort this out. I'm like, beautiful, off you go.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: And the lady was like, what's your name please. I
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: said it's Matt Johnson because I made the booking. And
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: she goes, it's not there, and I said amateur, So
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: whipped out my phone gave her the book in confirmation.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I said, here it is.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: I think that'll answer any questions that you have, ma'am
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: about this situation. And she go, oh, there's a mistake here,
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: and I was like, I don't make my sack somehow, somehow, Okay,
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: I have booked it for twenty twenty six.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Not even the same month though, for January. Why why
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: did you do that?
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: In my defense, yeah, because I think it's like the
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Midwinter Ball.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I think that happens around this time.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: One of the busiest weekends in the history of Canberra.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: There was a lot of peace politicians. When we turned
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: up that way, busloads off them. Oh man, it was
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: like the old feeling onto the road and I'm like,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: it's good to see how tax dollars got a bunch
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: of pierce heat. They like, where is the karaoke? Yeah,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: they're trying to kick on a carryog. I'm pretty sure
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: they're trying to usher them back to bed.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Meanwhile, I'm pleading for a bed and they're like, we're
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: booked out. I'm so sorry you cannot stay here.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: But you came back to the car with a very
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: sheepish look on your face because you don't often get
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: things wrong. I'm going to be give you a little
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: compliment there. Thank you, I'll take that. And you opened
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: the door and you gave me a look, and I
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: knew immediately something wasn't right. I was like, what have
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: you done? And you admitted that you've booked it for January.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: But the funny thing was is that we were meant
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: to be meeting someone in the lobby there, so we
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: had to do the walk of shame. Who went to
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Peppers down the road? Yeah, we managed to get a
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: room drop three point fifty for a beautiful room, a
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: disabled room.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: She was like, only we only have one room left
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: in that whole hotel. It's a disabled room. And I
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: was like, totally fine.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: It's a room that's catered for those that need assistance,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: easy access, easy access. It had railings in the shower,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: railings around the talk, which honestly, I don't mind. But yeah,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: what was concerning I think, and I think you're about
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: to say it was that she was like, you better
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: just check this room first.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: I went to go page goes whoaha, whoah, whah, whoah,
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: you better look at the room first, And I was like.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Where is what hotel? Is this? We saw her and
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: we were like, this is this is heaven? This is perfect. Yeah,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: it was fine. One little bed. Which also concerning she
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: knocked before we looked at it.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she was like, Jimmy, we're coming in now.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I know. I was like, Jimmy, I was like, why
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: would you need to knock if the room's not rented out?
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: But I woke up. I got pink eye from Ash.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: We did do a bit of a story arc that
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: seemed like we were on a gaycation.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: My biggest takeaway from this trip is the fact that
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: it's okay to make mistakes. But second to that, the
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: snow is not for the faint of heart.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: No. I feel like everything takes twice as long, everything's
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: twice as heavy, and it's cold. Oh yeah, I'll get that,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: twice as cold as everywhere else on earth. And like
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: it didn't really help that, Like there was a big downpour.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: The weather wasn't amazing, but the visibility was terrible. But
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: we had a great time. So my first time snowboarding,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: you did very well. Thank you very well.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: I want to know, be honest out there. If you're
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: a parent, okay, and I'm not talking about those types
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: of people who are like Olympic level skiers or snowboarders.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Rich people.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the rich people. If you're a rich pass off,
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: stop listening, but actually we need to come back. But
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: if you're just a normal, run of the mill family, honestly,
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: hand on heart, do you enjoy going to the snow
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: with your kids?
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: I think when you when.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: You weigh it all up, when you look at the
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: tantrums and you look at the money, are you having
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: a good time overall?
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Surely? Not right. There's a mixture of there's a mixture
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: of different families that I did see along the way.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: There was the little three year old girl with her
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: dad having a great time. I was c she was skiing,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: dad was happy, everyone was happy. They probably they probably
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: had a moment in their lives, you know.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: In five minutes time. She was having a meltdown, for sure,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: you know that for sure.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: But at that moment, I am just like, she's great, Yeah,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: that's how I'm seeing. I didn't see the melt And
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: then I walking through the Skeich tube hallway and there's
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: a mum with her kid around a similar age, and
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: that kid screaming on the floor as she tries to
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: heave a ski boot off this kid's foot, and I
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is not worth it, right, And
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: then you saw a pram like yes, I didn't even
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: have chains on its tires, and there was no baby.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: He was carrying a bugaboo pram across the snow baby less.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: I can only assume that he's just jumped it. It's
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: just like you know, they're on a mountain, it'll get
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: to the bottom.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: It was like there was one point as well. On
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: them were like coming down the mountain on our snowboards.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: And there was a child like starfish laying on its
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: back screaming.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: The parent was going get up, Billy, God, damn it.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: That was me.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: And I was thinking to myself, Ah, I don't know
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: if I want to pay like thousands of dollars to
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: have a meltdown, screaming match of a fight with my child.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Mark my words, I will never here we go. Ever
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: take my kids to the snow? Wow? Never, never, ever, ever,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: not while they're okay, hang on, let me rephrase that.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Don't backtrack on it. Now. They have to be over
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: sixteen for me to take them fourteen sixteen, because then
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: they can probably have a job and pay any way.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: But I'm like, as kids as they are now, where
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: it's like I'm meant to be the responsible adult. No,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: that would look way more trouble. It was enough trouble
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: just being with me, and I'm me You're right. I
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: was exhausted. I know, I can feel it. That drive home,
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: I was like, God's good to get a break from that.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: You were lonely.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: I drove back by myself, and those seven hours no
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: one wanted to talk to me.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: I called Laura. I was like, hey baby, She's like, hey,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: you called me.
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: Bro.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: We've just spent three days together in a car. You
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: were hungry most of it, so I had to try
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: and appease you the whole time, and then now call
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: me to belay, Hey, what do you do anyway? We're
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: back in one piece? Well, one piece. I did fall
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: a lot. You did exceptionally well. I'm very proud of you.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: I did hit the fence.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: We need to talk about housekeeping, we do.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I love that. We need to talk about it all week.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: A couple of messages. Last week you told a story
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: about being on a flight back home. Soone next to
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: you eight eggs the eggs. Yeah, actually a lot of people.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I can't look at eggs the same anymore like eggs.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I love eggs. I do love eggs.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: They've been really they've been tarnished.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: They just need to be not hard boiled.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Well, you actually haven't been too hard done by.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: It's not your best work, but it's good.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: It's not my best I am good enough for me.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Just really quickly before I get into these messages. Marley's
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: will into jokes at the moment, and just because of
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: the really shit joke that I told, Marley thinks that
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: if words rhyme.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: It's a joke. She's not wrong.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: So she's like, why did the chicken across the road?
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't know. She's like to see
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: the toad road.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Toad very good, I think, But I'm that creative.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's not a joke. It runs us.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: That's a poem. Confusing different Ah. Yes, two people wrote
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: in for very two people's.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: Holly says, ashes rant from last week is definitely valid.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: He cannot be judged for having a late night.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: What yeah, because I was hungover. Relax, Holly, Holy loves me.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Thanks for validating me, Holly.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: Being hungover and being sensitive to smell. I am pregnant
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: with my first baby and have been very ill with
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: morning sickness all day.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: I was recently. I was sorry. I was recently on
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: a flight next to someone who brought curry on board.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: The absolute worst.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: Cheez, what kind of curriage?
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Right to jail? So they should be there should be
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: air marshals dragging that person off the plane immediately.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: It's like vaping. It's like there's no vaping. There's a
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: curry on this fly.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: You might as well bring a dead fish and put
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: it in a microwave. Oh I remember those people had fish,
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: were at like work, and I put it in. Oh God,
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: you would you like salmon? Ah free? I will not
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: be attacked.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: To my own podcast, Haiti says, I was on a short,
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: one hour domestic flight and the girl next to me started.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Painting her nails. The whole plane stunk of now polish.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: I kind of like.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: That she got told to put it away, but the
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: damage had already been done.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: A loll Oh my goodness. It's just like no self awareness.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: I kind of like the arrogance of just you know,
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: like it's like, fuck it.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: It's like just like getting on a plane and whipping
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: out your feet and cutting your toenails. Don't that as well?
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: As you've got some housekeeping? I do? How have I
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: forgotten Father's Day surfing? Oh shit? Fuck? Excuse me? I
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: do have some housekeeping for us and the listeners laughing
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: at me. Sorry, sorry, sorry, it's actually not housekeeping. It's
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: a giveaway. We got a giveaway. We do have a giveaway.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: We are giving away five pro model jam Pikelet's soft
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: top foamy surfboards for your dad this summer. But that's
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: not all. You'll get a personal message from me for
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Father's Day. I don't think they want that. All you
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: have to do is this look. Fuck's this guy? He
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: looks funny? Why's he so read? All you have to
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: do is tag a dad in this post? And what
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: maybe just a couple of words a while your dad
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: is a shredder, and we'll pick five, we'll announce it,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: we'll send them out. They'll be they'll be in your
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: hands for twenty sixth summer. You'll figure it out.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: That's okay, And I think on that note, that is
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: the end of house.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: Cat ah A shame, it damn shame.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: A lot of people have been asking me about the
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: whereabouts of the one and only Ellie Johnson aka Nana. Yes,
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: she is still living here. She has been a little
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: bit quiet.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: People thought she died, but we've checked her pulse still there.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: She's just resting.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: She is just resting a little bit cold. But it's
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: because it's winter. Yes, it's winter. But she she has
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: had surgery and I thought we would peel her out
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: of her bedroom. She is in recovery phase at the moment.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: She's very drugged up on painkillers. But let's get a
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: little check in with Nana.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: You have a sling on, a very technical looking one.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: It's got clips, valka, it's got it all. Everyone was
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: asking if you're alive.
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: You are I am alive.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: This is ai voice. She has come so far.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: I told someone yesterday that she got a boob job. Yes,
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: for those who don't know Ellie, I did do a
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: post about it the other day. But what prestige wasn't
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: a boob job.
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: So I tore my rotator cuff? Yeah, well how did
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: you tear it?
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: That's complicated because they thought I'd freight it over time
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: and then something innoc you was something little just to it.
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: Yet that happens to elderly people.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: Afraid I'm waiting for Ash to make a joke about masturbating.
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: Well, there was a reference to that in my story anyway.
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: So yeah, So I had to have had to have
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: surgery because surgeon said if I didn't, the rip would
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: get longer and my shoulder would just pop through when
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: I'd need a whole shoulder reconstruction. So I had to
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: do it exactly.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and look at that age. What do you do?
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Do you?
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: You know that is a genuine question.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: You know what's really funny? Buster only has three legs.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: You nearly could have been matching.
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: Yes, but does Buster drive? Does he cook? Does he do?
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Imagine behind a wheel of a motor vehicle? Oh my god?
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: What was the last time you drive in Brisbane? And hole?
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Long ago?
• 15:08
  Speaker 6: Was that?
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Well, there's a horse and carsle.
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: No, I don't drive in Sydney. I have to admit
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: it was.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Tough for us.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: We had we had the choice of, like, you know,
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: we're going to losing Nana for six weeks, eight weeks
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: right at the time, and when Laura is about to
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: give birth.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Extremely selfish if you ask me. But but you all
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: said do it.
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: So I blame you guys.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: You'll be better for it.
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: Well that is the hope that the outcome is a
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: good one, okay. Yeah, So so I went in had
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: the procedure, and you know, the doctor came in after
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: surgery and said, oh, that was much longer than we thought,
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: and your bones were a bit spongy, which is not.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: What you want to be because of your age.
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: He said, it's quite normal. So we had to put
• 16:00
  Speaker 5: screws in much further into the bone.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Like a rotten piece of wood.
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: Well you could say that.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: That's a very good analogy. It's bad analogy.
• 16:10
  Speaker 5: A rotten piece of wood. That really makes me feel good.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: But you know, I love you though he loves wood.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I'm a wood guy.
• 16:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so there you go. Had the surgery and I
• 16:22
  Speaker 5: thought was all kind of going okay because they put
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: this block into your shoulder, which gives you twenty four
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: hours anesthetic so you don't feel your shoulder when you
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: wake up at all. It's numbing.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Fair, I would love some of that.
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: Everything was going fine, but I have to say now,
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: Ash and Jess Matt will know this. I am very accident.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: I know that too. I know that now.
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: Something's happened my design. You know, I do something silly,
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: I'm clumsy. Other things just happened, and I haven't no
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: idea how it came about, no idea.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Just before we go into that, she says, you won't
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: know this about me. We had you on when you
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: went to Europe, and it was accident after accident. I'm
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: well aware of igot.
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: I had forgotten that.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Anyway, go on. Sorry.
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: So there i am middle of the night in bed
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: and I'm post surgery, post surgery, so I'm waking up
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: and I'm vaguely aware that the bed is wet. Oh no,
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: And I'm thinking, oh my god.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: When you say vaguely aware, because you're.
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: Still asleep and I'm post surgery and there's still it's crazy,
• 17:41
  Speaker 5: it's hazy, and I'm thinking, oh, I'm embarrassing. Wet the bed.
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: So I put the light on and I swear to you,
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: I look down at the bed. It's like a Tarantino
• 17:56
  Speaker 5: movie and it's just covered in blood.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Oh your blood, my blood.
• 18:02
  Speaker 5: I mean, I'm thinking my blood, and I'm thinking, where
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: the hell did how did this happen?
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Wow?
• 18:10
  Speaker 5: And so then what I have to say though, before
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: you go into surgery, that they put a canula in
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: your hand, you know.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: That little oh yes, yeah?
• 18:20
  Speaker 5: And I was linked up to a drip somehow, without
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: my knowing, without feeling anything. Somehow in the night, I
• 18:32
  Speaker 5: had torn this canula out of my hand and ripped
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: my veins and it was just bleeding everywhere.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: And you were asleep, so you could have let out.
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: I didn't even know that I'd done it.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Why is no one checking on Nana.
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: Then I looked at the end of this four inch
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: needle that was.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: Goodness out of.
• 18:59
  Speaker 5: My hand, and I noticed it's still pumping from the drip.
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: That's that's next to the bed that should have been
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: pumping into me. But it was pumping, and that was
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: why the bed was wet. And so it does. The
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: whole thing was.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Being pumped in. So there's the pump. There's a mixture
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: of the ivy.
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: So there's a mixture of this iv being pumped. And
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: I just still see it going out of the need.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: And because you know when you mix blood and water.
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: It really spreads anyway. So what do I do? I
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: call a nurse. This nurse walks in and she stands
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: there and she goes, oh my god, what were you
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: doing during the night. I don't know what I did
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: and she looks at me.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 19:57
  Speaker 5: So then the process of change all the bed and
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: cleaning up everything, getting a doctor in to put the
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: canula back into my hand, and I'm thinking, how did
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: this happen to me? Why does this.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Happen to me?
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: So I was all cleaned up and very went. I
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: kept a kind of a low profile, thinking they already
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: think I'm a nutcase. But the disconcerting thing was that
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: with the change of staff in the morning, the night
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: nurse came in with three other new nurses.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: This is the troublemaker, yes.
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: And well, well they didn't say anything. They just came
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: in and I heard the nightmurs and I'm sure she
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: was said, this is the nutcase who rips and she
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: bleeds everywhere.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: Just want to keep your eye on that one. No
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: one likes that.
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: So that was a little experience I could have.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Wow, you could have bled out you could bloody made
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: a joke like this might be the last video we
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: ever do before you went into I did do that. Really,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: I was just thinking that.
• 21:05
  Speaker 5: How can you wrap a four inch needle RepU vein.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: Someone who's got experience with things that are four inches
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: take it.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Away three inches? That's very funny. I was going to say.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: You started to talk about changing the sheets and stuff,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: and I just got PTSD immediately because changing sheets in
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: the middle of the night.
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah. Anyway, So here I am now.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: And I guess it's been a week.
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: Is it's been one week?
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: How things tracking? If you had to check up yet?
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: Tomorrow I see the surgeon tomorrow. Hopefully they'll say it's
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: all good.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: She's still I've got to knock her over and be like,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: get out of the she just do.
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: I don't do too much now.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Doing the dishwasher last night, I was like, we've just
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: got another hand, right. Actually, I was going to say,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: the kitchene is a good spruce.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: She was trying to make some raisin toast this morning
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: with one the razor just kept escaping her. She was
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: trying to put butter on it like that, just ask
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: for help.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: What are you doing. What is it with your generation
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: and not asking for help? Yeah? What is that generation?
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Just ask for help? The other day I went to
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: my grandmother's not that you're the same generation, she's just
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: in she's very old. You're young and sprightly. I'm trying
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: not to get canceled. And I went round to her
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: house and she's on the roof. What are you doing
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: on the roof? And she was like, one of the
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: what are the roof tiles? Is lobbing. I'm like, okay,
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: two questions, how did you figure that out? And to
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: how the fuck did you get up there? Anyway, she's
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: got the extension ladder out, she's on the eighty eight.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: No god, yeah, credit to a little bit of inheritance
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: wouldn't be too bad right now.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: I could use the cash nn So get back up
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: on the roof after it rained. Well, Nana talks about
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: the nurse coming in. Bet you any money. She was
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: there one handed trying to change the sheet. Where's the
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: linen covered?
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Still spurt and blood. She walks down the hallway. I'm
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: glad you're backing.
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: Yes, And well, look I've got to be in this
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: sling night and day for another five weeks.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Does that trial and you said, she goes, do not
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: bring up the fact that you have to do my hair,
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: and I said I would never dream.
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: I said, don't, girl, looks great.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: I was going to do pigtails. Just shave it off.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: Well, I know you want to go back to.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Bed, you want to lay down to go back. I
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: wish you was speedy recovery.
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Please make sure you wash in and around it. Where
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: did you ever wash yesterday?
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: Kate? My daughter bless her cotton sucks. She came yesterday
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: and she put me in the shower.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: I can't believe sponge. I can't believe that job bongeb.
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: But she just rogued me and took this off and
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: put me in the show. She did say it would
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: have been interesting. She did say, shall I get him
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: dressed and get in the show?
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: And I said, I told you that in confidence.
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: That won't be necessary.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: Thank you for jumping. Next time you need a bath,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: give me sorry man? That's right, Yeah, that's all right.
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: So will happen updates?
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Can should I help you get back to bed? And
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: I'm glad that you're alive because I'm glad I'm alive.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: When Matt mentioned that people think that you're dead. I
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: was like, actually, seventeen ages. It's good to see Nana alive.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: I will say, a couple more weeks should be up
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: and at him. Can't wait to your first much. I'm offended.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: She asked me to give her a spongebar. I was
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: first in line, and then next thing, my sister rocks
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: up and I said, what are you doing here? She said,
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: I'm here to bath mom.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Well, you clearly didn't say yes quick enough, quick strip
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: off again.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: But I was wanted to give her hair a little
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: doing hairs hard, I was trying.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: To blow dryers. I'm not good at that. Ship. No
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: surprises there, yeah, I mean you've got two girls. I've
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: got one. But April does her hair most of the time.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: I can like tie it up. I love that. That's it.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: Love that April or the hair both.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry giving me.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: My wife ideas. You've got a little surprise. I have
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: a surprise for you.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Well, what's your surprise?
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: What's else? Well, the same time is message. It's a message.
• 25:54
  Speaker 6: Shit.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I thought, Look, the other day you were a little
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: bit stressed out. You've had quite a bang up year.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Some would say you've had to deal with a lot
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: of things like renovations and a kid that's coming, and
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: the anxiety around all that and getting everything ready, and
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: it's very house falling apart because of Nature's been a very,
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: very stressful year.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: And at the same time, I was looking at you
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: and your situation, Ash, and I was thinking, Gosh, here's
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: someone that works tirelessly. You know, you're getting pulled pillar
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: at a post.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: I'm also having fun. I like that fun.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't worry you having fun along the way,
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: but you know you're juggling multiple projects okay, and you're
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: looking after your two gorgeous kids, being a great husband.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: And I thought, sometimes you need to smell the roses
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: whilst they're in blossom.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing. So I
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: what I did. What I did first, go on, I
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: reached out to your lovely wife to see if she
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: can get a little message from your kids for Father's
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Day to you.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: I did the same thing, shut up message, April, and
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: I said, I can tell you message my wife. Also
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: two things that your wife had to go at me about.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: One I send a message for every line. So I
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: sent her seven messages, being like, hey, April, send wonder
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: if I can ask a favorite.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: You're like A you don't have people like don't double message.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: You're like, fuck that. I'm going for seven.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Because it's easy to read a message when it's broken
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: down like that.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: I was doing her a favor and she was like,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: what's wrong with you? Frequently you don't message me like that?
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Don't know?
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: And then she was like, anyway, after attacking me about
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: the way I said messages, I said, can I get
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: this message from you? And he goes, wehen do you
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: need it by? I said tomorrow?
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: And she's like, for God's sake, I don't want to
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: say that. I know that you messaged her. I don't
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: know what about, but you did ask me for her
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: phone number for a third time, and quite frankly, I
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: don't blame April for being a little bit annoyed with you.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: I'm going to play you a little bit of audio here. Okay,
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: how many times have we given Matt your phone number?
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: Several times?
• 28:05
  Speaker 6: I'm actually kissed off the amount of times I've sent
• 28:07
  Speaker 6: him stuff, photos, requests, anything he needs you send.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Him photos like two days ago.
• 28:12
  Speaker 6: Yeah, a recent family photo he needed, and still he
• 28:16
  Speaker 6: hasn't said my number if anything, I'm actually like borderline
• 28:20
  Speaker 6: kissed off. Wow, how long has you been your partner
• 28:26
  Speaker 6: now business funner? And he still doesn't have my numbers?
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Two and a half years and it's unbelievable. He doesn't
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: even remember my birthday. I've sent him three messages.
• 28:36
  Speaker 7: Oh my goodness, we got the history up of her
• 28:40
  Speaker 7: messaging you three three text messages before this request, okay,
• 28:47
  Speaker 7: of not just like hey, like files of things that
• 28:51
  Speaker 7: you need from her.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: The tone on April, the disappointment. I'm sorry. Well, I look,
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: I've had to talk it down. She was very worked
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: up about it.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: I know she was, and I apologize. Thank you for
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: stepping in there and helping out.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: That's okay. Well, I have Laura's number and I saved
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: it in multiple places, so I don't lose it.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: It is, it is saved, Okay, just just know from
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: this moment now, from this moment, I will never ever,
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: ever ask for April's number ever again.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: One more time. There's got to be some sort of punishment.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: I'll shave my head. Wow. Yeah, I'm going to delete
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: it out of your phone. All right. Back to the
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: topic at hand.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: Because it is it's Father's Day as well, we also
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: say to all the dad's out there, listen, Happy Father's Day.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Happy Father's Day to you guys, which was Sunday, just gone. Yeah,
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: I hope you were spoilt as you deserve, but also
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: I hope you spent the day with your kids and
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: your family. And really, I don't know. I'm just trying
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: to be sentimental.
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: Hi, Daddy, I think I love you because you're so nice.
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: Can you make me happy when I'm feeling sad? You
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: can't to cheer her when you play with me. It's
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: very funny, and you pretend to be here a really
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: silly monster. My favorite thing about Danny Daddy.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: Is Daddy that one slipped and g think I love
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: about Frank. I mean, I mean really this.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: I love how she has to be prompt as well.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: Let's get back to the message.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: Sorry mommy or daddy Daddy, Well that's adorable.
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: Have his father say, Daddy, I love him. Be to
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: the bathroom silly every night.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Carry her upside down by the legs.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just easier.
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: I think it's funny because I'm always funny.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Dancing, funny dancing, and he was giving you tickles and
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: he's a funny man. Isn't he silly? Daddy?
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: Have does say?
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Daddy, I love you, I love you.
• 31:02
  Speaker 5: You're the best daddy in the whole world, the study.
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: In the whole world.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: I love you too, Lola. That's adorable.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: Me do a lot for them, We do everything for them,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: so why not? It is weird when you're serious and
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: I'm trying. I know it's strange. I'm not used to it.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: It's okay. It's like getting something really spicy and it
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: feels strange. It's going to come out the other end
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: and it's going to sting my kids in them. And
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: I will echo your thoughts as.
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: Happy Father's Day, Daddy, I love you, fas day, I
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: love you?
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: And why do we love Daddy?
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: Where is it Father's Day?
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: Father? What does he do for us?
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: He cleans your toilet for us, stuffy?
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah? What does he do for us?
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: Clean's friends for us?
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Cleanses? And do you clean the whole Matt? Do you clean?
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: He's very good at a photo, he's very good at lego. Yeah.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: And can we say a big love you Daddy?
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: I love you you big gove you.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Love you Daddy, so proud of everything you do? Likes
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: cue Macy's accent kills me. I love you. Are you crying?
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Oh my god? The topic I am not that is
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: that a tear? Not at all, no way. But I
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: love how I've just diverted to being the kids clean
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: over everything. Ah, That's why I do it, so I
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: can go home and clean the toilet and the phones
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: and I and the mat. Why am I clean? Do
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: you know why they said the mat because on the
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: weekend I had to give it a deep clean that
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: we can only think back to like two days ago.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: What does he do? Yes? But anyway, Happy Father's Day
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: to you, Matthew, and right back at you. All the
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: dad's out there, the granddad's as well. Guys. We usually
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: do parents here, but it's Father's Day.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: You don't have to justify this to anybody.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: I feel like we do what we want very Actually,
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: I love that attitude. This is our podcast. Actually, let's
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: not adopt that attitude because we could get out of
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: hand if we just do what we want. So do
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: we apologize or how do what? I want to remember?
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: But we're going to do some questions to finish this off,
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: and one that is a reoccurring question which continues to
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: come back up, because it is great is things not
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: to say to a parent.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: Every time we do this, we're like, surely that's enough.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: We've covered all the potential idiotic things you can say
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: to a mother or dad, and yet the people of
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: the world keep putting their foot in it, saying stupid.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Stupid things to parents, which is so dumb.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: And so this is it's not just a chance for
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: parents to talk about the things that they've had thrown
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: at them, but also just like a little bit of
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: advice to anyone out there.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: Boomers looking at you, guys know, they're all that we
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: better put this on Facebook. That's what they all.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: If you're going to speak to a parent, just run
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: back to this segment, quick, little refresher.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: Just check, just double check.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: If any of the things are about to say matches
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: up with the things that we say in this segment,
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: then don't fucking say it.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: And I'm going to start with just a personal and
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: really quick that happened to me over the weekend. And
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: I'm going to call this person out. Who was it.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: His name's Georgio. Is he Italian? I would assume, so, yeah,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: it's a bumby anyway, he is. He's on another podcast
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: called Kick It Forward. I know he's the short one,
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: he's the short shot king. Some may say he's the list.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: He's fred he's jacked. I spent some time with him
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: in America. He's jacked. Anyway, they did a live show.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: We were meant to go. I couldn't go. Okay. I
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: said to him, Hey, sorry, I can't come tonight. My
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: wife's a been overwhelmed with the kids. I've got to
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: stay home. And his response was, I get it. I've
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: got a dog. Ah, you just made the list, buddy,
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: and he he did. He did say after I was like,
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: how dare you say that to me? Dogs are not kids?
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: And also it's a great way to deflect when you're
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: like apologizing for something and then you can then quickly
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: spin it and be like, actually you're the fucking problem.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, And he was like he actually baited
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: me with it. He was like, I do that to
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: all parents, and so he knows what he's doing and
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: we don't appreciate it. He listens to this segment, I know, yeah,
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: he was like avid listener of that segment.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: Anyway, He's an informed individual, not do never never, And
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: we harp on about this all the time.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: Never compare your pet to a parent's kids.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: Or never all right, ash, This one is from Katrina
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: and this is on behalf of her friend. It's oh,
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: it's it's the people you think, you know who are
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: the real problem here, the culprits. So this is sorry,
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: Actually I'm going to retract that statement. This is her
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: friend submitting it. Okay, okay, you're with me, I'm with you.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: I apologize about that. I was very quick to point
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: the finger at the friend.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: It's always the friends. I would do the same. She
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: had her kids.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Eighteen months apart, and a random lady said to her
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: at the shops. Oh, he was a mistake, wasn't he?
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Oh my god? What someone? Okay, first of all, the
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: way she said. It was a lady we know the
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: age of that lady roundabouts who totally Oh why would you?
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: They're brazen, brazenful, Sorry that you had to endure that.
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: This one's from Eva. Oh god, this is going to
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: trigger some people. Eva said. Someone said to her, what
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: do you mean you're not giving her chocolate for her
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: first Easter at four months old? Someone? Okay, you can
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: give them chocolate. No anyone breast milk bro Sorry, we're
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: gonna melt it down, put it in a bottle. Actually
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: that sounds deal, But like, just butt out, man, Like,
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: first of all, it's science.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: How old are babies when they're start having solids?
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: Must be like over six months? Yeah, and they've got
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: to like four months close enough. No, I think, like,
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: just butt out.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: She got a second one there.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: There's another one here that says when you're trying for
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: a baby and people say, are you sure you're doing
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: it right? Don't ask me.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: From Zoe, my four month old has been barely slip
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: during the night, and I.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: Got told to just ignore the baby and sleep through it.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: And then they also said you should just meditate when
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: the baby screams. When that was said, I was meditating,
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: slapping them.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: Just meditate or just sleep through. Terrible advice. That's someone
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: giving you advice who probably hasn't even held a kid
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: or a kid. It was a dad saying that do
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: what I do. Just do what I do. Sleep right through.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: The amount of times when marleinn Laula were younger, and
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: I'd wake up after a pretty good night's sleep and
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: I sleep through a freight train and I'd.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: Go not this freight train got Yeah.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: My gosh, it's almost like a bloody like's peeling off wallpaper.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: But I would say, oh, the kids, they slept pretty
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: well last night.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: I'd done that too.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: Laura would then turn ahead and look at me, bags
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: under rising.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: Like yeah. So like, if you're a dad, don't say that.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: No, doesn't matter how good the sleep was. Always just say, god,
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: I was up four times with the kids last night.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: You slept through it, and then blame it on them. Yeah,
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: get ahead of it, Get ahead of it. I say, okay,
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: this one's from Okay, I'm going to mess the pronunciation
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: of his name, key La La, come on.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: Kyla okay, Kayla Kayla.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: Ki Lala keela La. I'm gone with that.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: That's fun beautifully, sir, la La.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: Here we go.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: That's a name that we haven't thought about for number three.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: Key La La at an extra hor in there, key
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: La la La. Just keep it going. I'm wildly on.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: You got the long one. That's what she said. Sorry,
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: that's that was actually pretty good. Okay. I am wildly
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: onto my third pregnancy, and we'll have three under three
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: for a week. Good thing is only a week. Why
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: is that fine, just like it was the delivery.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but also like that pain will be endured for
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: a very long time.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Now after the week, it's fine. I want to get
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: through this week.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just get to get to Sunday right now.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be much easier on Monday morning. She's like,
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: why it's still so fucking hard. I thought this was
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: over anyway, my female mum of three boss. What my
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: female mum of three boss all day? I thought, can
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: you read it.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: With my first She says, I didn't announce until about
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: twenty weeks to my boss since I wasn't necessarily showing
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: and I was in a high labor farming job where
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: I knew they'd make me do light duties straight away.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: Isn't that good? I thought you she was aura farming,
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: no no.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: Good energy over here, So I held off as long
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: as she could. That's like, that is Jesus, Like that's admirable.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: I tell you right now, I would love light judies,
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: yeah right now, Yeah, give me something lighter than that.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: Ashes there going, well, I'm pregnant, like Ash, you're a man. Yeah,
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: I know, I'm surprised too.
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: My female mum of three boss replied, Oh, I thought
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: you were just getting fat me or it's winter and
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: I've been wearing a jumper and some days long pants.
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: And the boss replied, nah, your legs are just getting chunky.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. And she's a mom.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well okay, lady, she says, well, how do you
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: even respond to that? I don't know, slap him in
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: the face to give a perspective. I'm five foot four,
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: about fifty to fifty five kilos, healthy ish kind of gal,
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: who went on to having a shy of nine pound
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: big baby boy.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: My size.
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: Are not fuck off with your body shaming comments when
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: people are pregnant. I thankfully haven't necessarily gone back to
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: work there since my first because even announcing the third,
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: the comments started again.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, that is fucked up, isn't it. I think
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: commenting on anyone's way, especially in a workplace, that's a
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: viable effing. You just don't do it. You just don't
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: do it. It's called comments. God breeding these people, God's sake.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: I asked a question. We're doing the last question, last question.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: We'll wrap this up in a night as well, doing me.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: You're a great reader. This, don't patronize me. This is
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: from Niri got that right. I think I don't know.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: That's condescending the fact that people still put their names
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: and they send any questions to this podcast.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: It's a miracle and I love it. I would love
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: to know your thoughts on joint birthday party protocol. We
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: all know my thoughts on that my son has been
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: invited to a joint six berth sixth birthday party. He
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: is friends with one of the boys, but doesn't have
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: anything to do with the other boy. Oh whoa, Okay,
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: hang on, is it rude only buy a gift for
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: my son's friend or should I buy two gifts? Also,
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: they have invited the whole class. I say with that,
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: that's the parents gift farming. I just coined a phrase,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: excuse me, where you over invite people to give your
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: kid gifts so that you don't have to go out
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: and buy all these gifts that they want it. But
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: don't you think gets a trade off? Right? You're providing
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: the venue, if you live there, you pay mortgage, doesn't matter,
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: feeding and cleaning the house, You're getting the preparation. You're
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: feeding the child, you get activities. You could budget your
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: way out of that and come out on top. I
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: know what they're doing. It's an exchange. It's an exchange here,
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: It's it's a tradition as old as I think. It's
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: a con well. Birthday parties, yeah, you already know my
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: thoughts on that. I sneak my kids into other people's
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: birthdays all the time. I've only ever thrown one, but
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: like wedding crashes for birthday parties birthday crashes.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: For those of you who are knew to the podcast,
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: Ash walks the parks on Saturdays and Sunday mornings with his.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: Children around their birthday time.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: Once he spots a bunch of balloons tied with gazebo,
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: he is in.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: There and he's like, hey, good to see you guys again.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: Most of the time I'm doing it silently, or it's
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: a friend because it just so happens that a friend
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: of mine kid was born on the same day, not
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: the same year. His kid's younger. So when that kid
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: was born on that day, I was like, thank God,
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: he's going to save you so much money, this kid.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: And now I just now it's now it's Matey's birthday.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: Whenever it's his birthday.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: So would Mazie get presents from other guests.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: No, they wouldn't know because I've snuck her in. Yeah,
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: I just get to the end of Happy Birthday to
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: whoever is the kid? And and Ma.
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: Why don't you, why don't you actually get in there
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: earlier and get her name, like put on the invite?
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: Well, it's I'm working on And so then I did
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: cop a bit of hate for this though. Remember people
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: were like, how tell you I have the child of
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: a birthday? I was like, well, we celebrate privately.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: But the thing is ash you're starving the child or
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: something they will only enjoy at a young age. Okay,
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: we don't know. It's like a ticking time. But when
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: they'll stop enjoying being sung to Happy birth as sooner
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: the better, right, there's there's a finite number of times
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: they will enjoy that song being sung to them.
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: No one enjoys that song, the kids do. Hew, dare
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: you know? Even when we sing it to Oscar as
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: a family, he's like he's there loving it, and You're like,
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: see he hates it. He's in pain right now? Yeah,
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: he probably is. I was. I am every time someone
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: pipes up and starts singing Happy birth just because it
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: hurts you doesn't mean it's going to hurt your son.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, well said okay, but they're not shirt.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: Don't you steal my lines?
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: How dare you steal my So what I'm trying to
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: say is just give two birthday presents.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: No, I think it's twenty bucks. Twenty bucks, my guy,
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: twenty bucks. Okay, it's as much to you as it
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: is to them, right, what do you mean by that?
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: So twenty dollars is twenty dollars? Okay, so, well, had
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: slow down. It's as much to you as it is
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: to them.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: So the next statement, would you say, twenty bucks is
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: twenty bucks?
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, that's lost me. Yeah, so twenty dollars to
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: you might mean something different to someone else.
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: So twenty bucks isn't twenty bucks, Well.
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: It is the amounts of the same that means different.
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: It's different. Yes, it's not twenty bucks. Well it is
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: because that's the year round figure.
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: No, twenty bucks is twenty bucks to you, but it's
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: not twenty bucks someone else.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, forty bucks. That twenty dollars to you means something
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: else that it does to someone else. Okay, so that
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: twenty dollars are still twenty but it might mean someone
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: might be less fortunate. It might mean on a meal,
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: so it's fort it. No, it might mean that twenty
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: dollars that I am buying a gift for means that
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: we might miss out on a meal for my family
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: that I love very much. Yes, I'm going to take
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: you on a guilt journey right now. That's a lie. Okay,
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: lie to me, but you know what I mean. So
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: twenty dollars is going to be twenty dollars, but it
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: might mean less to you than it does to someone else.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: Let's let's agree to disagree. Okay, Okay, Okay, you sure
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: I'm positive? Really, don't ask me twice. So okay, I'm
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: just thinking like right here that I would go if
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know the other kid whatsoever. Okay, there's no
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: repercussions or backlash on that. I'm buying the kid I
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: know at present put it in the pile. Actually, fuck it,
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: I'm not buying any presents. I was like, yeah, I'll
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: make a point of it when I get there, and
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: it's like, where's the present pile? I'll say that so
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: people like, Okay, he's looking for the present pile, so
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: he must have presents put in there, and then after
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: maybe after the first bevrage, if there's bevrage there, and
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: be like, yeah, I just put my present in the
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: pile over there, maybe got lost gas light, saved forty
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: bucks there in your maths it was twenty bucks. Bro,
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: it's going up now. I'm just saying, not everyone can
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: afford to fork out twenty dollars on a kid they
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: don't like. Am I right? No, dragon in Okay. Look,
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: if I think we're different people and I need to
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: appreciate I think if you like I love to give
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: gifts to people that I know, don't try and paint
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: yourself as but something different to what you actually If
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: you're going to buy gifts for both, then you do
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: it within the means that you think is appropriate. Not
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: Matt's twenty dollars rule. He's just brought out.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: Don't be such a wuss and stick by your comments
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: of like, oh, buy anything for anyone else.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just trying to eaven it out of it.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah no, fuck it, I'm not getting these kids anything
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: they're not going to remember. If we don't get invited
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: the next year, that's a win.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: And on that note, if ever, there was a nod
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: to why we don't give advice.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: That question was a drivel answer that I could have
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: possibly given.
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: But if you enjoyed this episode, please review, subscribe.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: We get a lot of.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: Lovely comments on Spotify, many bucks and follow us.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: Where on Instagram or TikTok, Facebook, Two Doting Dads and
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: now YouTube full episodes. No guest episodes, you're greedy. No,
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: it's one step at a time and we'll see you
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: guys next week. Okay, bye, this is awkward, Let's go.
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: Islander people's today,