Latest / Groove with Portia / Sewing Together The Layers of Grief and Entrepreneurship with Missy Baker

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Sewing Together The Layers of Grief and Entrepreneurship with Missy Baker · Groove with Portia

0:06
Welcome to Grow with Porsche, the podcast that uncovers the hidden treasures within grief.
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I'm your host, Porsche the Producer, and I'm inviting you to join
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me on a transformative journey where we will exchange laughter, of course, the
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best medicine of them all, reflect on cherished memories, Remember that time that
0:21
the little boy grabbed my hand instead of his mother's at the amusement park yikes,
0:25
And of course, discover gratitude while navigating one of the life's hardest challenges
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lost. So get ready to grow with me, Porsche the Producer. Let's
0:35
dive in. Hey listeners, welcome back to Grow with Porsche. I'm your
0:47
host and executive producer, Porsche the Producer, and as always, I am
0:52
excited to always bring back returning guests. So today we are joined by a
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driven individual who is also no stranger to grief. She is on a mission
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to not only empower women to cultivate their personal style from within, but to
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also use fashion as a medium to express their complete authenticity. So it is
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my honor to introduce your personal stylist and founder of Soul Too Style, Missy
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Baker. How are you doing today? Missing? Oh, I'm doing so
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well. Thank you for those beautiful words. I always love to hear you
1:34
speak into that. It's so funny. Well, first and foremost, I
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have to express gratitude, Missy, for you saying yes to be my first
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guest of me taking a hiatus from recording interviews and also being the first video.
1:49
Right. People are always getting on me like Porscha, Well, how
1:52
can we don't see you? You encourage everybody to see them, but we
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don't see you. Right. So now I'm I guess you can say,
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practicing what I preach. I'm finally in the right church, in the right
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pew this time. Right, So, Missy, as always, you know,
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I got to start off with gratitude. What are you grateful for today?
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You know, so grateful today for the support system that I have created
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for myself because I think we're gonna get into a little litle bit of this,
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but we've a tough couple of months entrepreneurship wise, and you know,
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not all bad, but so happy to have such a great support system from
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friends, coaches, like people in my network. And so just been really
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reflecting on that because that's what's gotten me through in these last couple last couple
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of months. So yeah, Missy, I can definitely, yeah, I
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can definitely relate to that. And I agree, you know, because it's
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it's amazing to have that, right, because your support network keeps you number
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one encouraged when you're feeling discouraged from seeing all the things. Right, I'm
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somebody who overthinks, and one of the last episodes I did on Group Porsha
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was on converting my overwhelming thoughts into an opportunity. Right, and when we
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see people who are in our same industry, who are I guess in the
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sense climbing the ladder quicker than us, we're kind of like, well,
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hey, what the heck? How come you know the screwdriver is not working
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in the same door anymore when it's the same door that I haven't change.
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So I definitely can't agree. Like, having that support network is empowering,
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it's embracing, and it also really helps you on not just the tough days,
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but even on the good days because you got that little cheerleader, like
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that little voice like go Missy, go, go portiona go. I'm Missy.
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I want to talk about our last conversation, which for our audience who
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is tuning in me and Missy's last conversation was in twenty twenty two in November,
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and so Missy, I had an opportunity need to listen to our last
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conversation, and I remember one of the things that you talked about was that
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grieving the loss of your identity for making the transition from the corporate engineer who
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you were to now being this purpose driven entrepreneur. So, Missy, for
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our audience who is tuning in, how are you embracing the grief from the
4:26
transitions that come with entrepreneurship? Right, because as you mentioned, you know,
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you lose support networks, you embark on new ones, some of us
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what start new social media channels, or I mean even just a missed opportunity
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right when we felt like it was the divinely purposed, tailored time for us
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to make this big leap and then it just you know went downhill, like
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you know, So Missy, elaborate on that. So, how are you
4:56
embracing the grief from the transitions that come with entrepreneurship? Oh, I mean,
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there's so many of them, and I think once you've gone through something
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that's a little bit of a bigger quote unquote bigger grief, it opens your
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eyes up to allowing that grief to come, because I think one of the
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biggest things that trips us up when we start to talk about grief in any
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capacity is we don't want to see it. We don't want to see losing
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a friend or somebody in your support network, or that changing. We don't
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want to see that as grief. We don't want to see the grief in
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making these transitions in our lives, missed opportunities, canceled events that we just
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want to see those as like normal pieces of life almost And it's kind of
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like you just suck it up and move on, but we missed such an
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opportunity to really grow when we try to kind of like gloss over those those
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grief things. And I mean all of those examples that you've mentioned. I
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mean I could probably think of something at least one thing for all of those
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things. But I mean, most recently, and I haven't even shared this
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publicly, but most recently, I had an event. If you if you
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already follow me on on Instagram, you may have heard about it. I
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was going to do this really cool like style to her and it's still a
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fabulous idea, Like I'm like that idea is still sitting on the shelf.
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But like the time that I picked to do it, I think that was
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the biggest thing. Was like it was just weird timing for a lot of
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people, and so I ended up having to pull the plug on it about
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a week beforehand. And man, that was like because like that was that
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was like a baby to me. I was like, this idea is so
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amazing, nobody's doing that. I'm so excited about it. I mean you
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can probably still sense like I still get like, I guess still get the
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tinglies about it because like it's such a fabulous idea and I know it will
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come to fruition when it is supposed to. But I also learned a lot,
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a lot, a lot a lot from doing that, and that was
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from allowing myself to be like honest with myself and working through it with my
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coach as well about the grief and why I was having so much grief with
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it. Actually, when I was able to untangle the grief part, I
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realized I wasn't even really grieving the business part of it. I was grieving
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some of the personal things that i'd kind of like intertwined with my business.
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And when I started to pull on those threads and allowed myself to feel that
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grief and allowed myself to not feel shame for having the grief. It unraveled
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a hue of lessons for me that I'm now working through as far as like
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honestly boundaries that I have between personal stuff, friendships, and business all because
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like something on the surface that like really kind of like was sucky because I'm
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like, man, this was such a great idea, and processing that grief
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through it and allowing myself allowing myself to feel all those things just opened up
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this whole new platform of things that I think it's some stuff that's probably been
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keeping me stuck for a long time because I hadn't been like, I hadn't
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really faced this idea of boundaries and such. So, you know, I
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think when we are willing to look at the grief head on and recognize that
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we're allowed to have grief in those different things, whether it's losing somebody in
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your support network, and really a lot of times when you're losing somebody in
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your support network that I've found is because your growth trajectory has like been it's
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going on a different path. That doesn't mean that anybody's like better than anybody
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else or doing things better. It's just it's a different rate of rate of
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growth. And I'm kind of getting the like scientific term thinkings, but like
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you're just on this different like rate and it's like, Okay, we traveled
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together for a little while and you're gonna go to here and I'm gonna go
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here, and like that's okay. But we don't realize that until we allow
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ourselves to have that grief. And man, can learn so much when you
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actually don't try to like shove it down or brush it off and be like
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no, I'm fine, I'm just resilient. Like that's like that's bypassing that.
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So gotta face it head on one hundred percent of Missy. Let me
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backtrack a minute, because one of the things that you mentioned was when we're
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in this sea reason of grief, we don't want to see it right.
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You didn't want to see the reality that this grandiose idea, which is fantastic.
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I can still see the passion in your eyes, and I'm passionate about
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it, like, man, I want to do this right. The big
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idea that obviously had some other steps that needed to be implemented in order for
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it to really take its launch right. So, really, Missy, this
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is why I love having these conversations about grief, because what we tend to
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overlook or try to oversee, is the hidden gift within grief. Right,
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look at all the lessons that you took away from this one event crumpling through
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Right, you were able to number one, learn to set clear boundaries between
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personal business, networking, all those things, right, and then probably some
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other personal things around fear, around shame, around different areas of your life
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where you're like, man, where did this get uprooted from? But that
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is the beauty that is hidden within grief. It's kind of like what I
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call the mess to miracle algorithm. You gotta get through the mess in order
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to get to the miracle. And so, Missy, I gotta ask this
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first and foremost for our audience who are tuning into this conversation if they want
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to connect with you and learn more about your work and your services. Is
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there a social media handle or website you can share with us today? Yeah?
11:41
Yeah, of course. So easiest two ways to find me can find
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me on Instagram. I'm at soul dot toto dot style that's on Instagram.
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If you want to find me on my website, you get there's a place
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for you to reach out and email me on there and check out all the
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all of stuff, which is also newly redone. It is soul Dash to
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t O Dash style dot com. So just a little bit difference in the
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punctuation there, but same same words, same spellings. That's where people can
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find me. And I love having conversations with people either via email or in
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the dms on Instagram. It's about what they're you know, what they're going
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through in that perspective shift of grief. And then of course as we get
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into clothes, like you can always talk to me about clothes. I'm always
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down to talk about all the style things. That's my favorite thing, oh
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of course, And you know, for our listeners, definitely you can connect
12:41
with Missy on all social media platforms and follow her work, her initiatives,
12:48
and hey, I'm sure that when that style buzz comes back, you guys
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can no pun intended hop aboard and get your outfits of your dreams. So
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Missy, I gotta talk about this because little Digression I had the opportunity to
13:03
experience what your clients receive right. And so one of the services for our
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audience who is tuning in that Missy offers is what's called a closet cleanse.
13:15
And I'm gonna be honest. I even for me, when I did my
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closet cleanse, I found myself in this boat of Oh, this is gonna
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be easy, peasy. Just take a big, gigantic garbage bag and just
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do like Nike, just do it, dunk it all away, pull a
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couple of Michael Jordan's, and then we're all good, right, absolutely not,
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absolutely not, And let's be honest for other people, right, Missy.
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It's a process when you're going through your closet looking at different outfits from
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your past, or what I call the just in cases, but they really
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are just in cases based on somebody else's opinion and not so much of what
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you deemed as a just in case. And so Missy right, there's a
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level of fear that's present along with grief as people are going through their closet
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and looking at these keepsakes, right, And so Missy walk us through how
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you support your clients on this journey of letting go right, just how you
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your coach was there to support you when you were kind of letting go of
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some of these limiting beliefs that you had through this process of your bus tour
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not coming into fruition. So walk us through how you provide that same level
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of support to your clients as their letting go of things in their wardrobe.
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Oh, it is so true. It's cleaning out your closet. Like unless
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you put some intentionality around it. Sure you can go and clean it out,
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but then you got I mean I used to do this myself. You're
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gonna have those like, uh, okay, well maybe I should keep it.
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Maybe I should keep it. And the key is in that and the
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thoughts that are going through you know, going through your head. So there's
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a few things that I do. Okay, it's a multi multi layered approach
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to doing this. Number One, I start with a vision always every client
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that I work with, we start with a vision session that I do.
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It is very unique to my business. And I've also recently, earlier this
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year, I guess you know, it's been a few months now, I
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got my Reiki Master certification. So I layer in both the more like almost
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like logical, divine, masculine, very traditional kind of coaching aspect with this
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this energy energy work too, so we're melding those two together. But we
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do a vision session that brings in a little bit of a little bit of
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raiky to just clear out reset all of the energy, and then I take
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my clients through this vision and the entire purpose of that vision is to connect
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people to their higher self, to maybe a more tangible way to say it
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is next level self, like six months down the line is usually what I
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kind of use as a visual and we visualize what that version of you is
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going to look like. So think about just as you're listening, you can
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think about this just on the conscious level, even goals that you have for
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yourself by the end of the year or at the halfway point of the year.
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So it's really easy to say, like, by the end of the
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year, like this is where I want to be, Well, how does
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that version be start to show up? I can almost guarantee you there's something
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different about the way that version of you dresses than how you dress now.
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So that's what we're tapping into. But we're also doing it in a very
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subconscious way, so we're allowing some things that maybe not wouldn't come to the
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forefront of your mind. Right now, we're allowing those things to come in.
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That sets the stage. Like sometimes with people like that is enough that
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they'll even have started to clear out things before I get there for the actual
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closet cleanse because they're like who, Like, I just was feeling super inspired,
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And that's great because you start to have this vision. It gives you
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a much more black and white Okay, this goes, this stays, this
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goes, and it helps to clear up some of those like pieces because you
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have a more firm route in who you are and where you're going. That's
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the whole idea of creating that vision. That said, then when we get
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into the closet, it varies, but everybody has some sort of limiting beliefs
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tied to their clothes. It might be limiting beliefs around weight. Oh my
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gosh, well, but like this doesn't fit me anymore. But what if
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I lose the weight and I want to wear this or vice versa. This
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doesn't fit me anymore, But what if I gain weight again and then I
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need this piece that's all wrapped up in fear of what's going to happen in
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the future. And that's kind of putting you in this anxious, anxious state.
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Well, that version of you that we visioned, she is rooted.
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She is rooted in the present moment. So it's about unraveling why you feel
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that way. Another one that I hear all the time is okay, but
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I spent money on it. It is not uncommon for us to get rid
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of multiple things that still have tags on them, and many women's cloth.
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So if that is you as you were listening, you are not alone.
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I feel like everybody thinks they're alone in that. And so that brings a
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whole nother limiting belief around money and kind of almost this like sunk cost fallacy
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of like, well, I spent money on it, so shouldn't I at
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least wear it? But if it doesn't feel like you, if it doesn't
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fit your vision, by you holding onto that, all you're doing is reminding
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yourself that, oh, yeah, I spent money on something that really didn't
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align with me, and I made a bad decision. And you kind of
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have this like hanging reminder of almost kind of taunting you in a way of
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being like that you know you made this bad decision and now you have to
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wear weear me and now you're stuck with me, Well you get to say
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no. You get to say no, like that's okay, and rewriting that
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because you didn't know what you didn't know, Like we all grew up in
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this bear shopoholic central. I mean I can still go see it on Instagram
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now of people that are doing these big halls and trying to encourage you just
20:07
bye bye bye bye bye bye bye. Plus stores are set up to like
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encourage you to buy stuff you don't you know, necessarily want all the time.
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So if you didn't know, you get to forgive yourself. It's a
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cool place to get to forgive yourself and then say, okay, well now
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I know. Now I have an intention. And that's what I teach too,
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is this, like how do I go about intentionally shopping? That's what
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that vision is also about, so that I'm not filling my closet back up.
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But all of those things, a common thread in all of those whether
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it's money related, whether it's weight related, is this like almost scarcity fear
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mindset. And so it's changing those limiting beliefs that we have. And if
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you don't do the work on the beliefs and at least have the awareness of
20:56
the beliefs. You'll get yourself in that cycle where you clean out the closet.
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You probably don't get everything out that you need to get out, and
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then two months later it's all filled back up again because subconsciously you're like,
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oh, I mean space in the closet. Now I can go out and
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shop and just fill it all back up again. And then you don't even
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realize you're doing it. And then the other piece that we do with that
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is it wants to get the closet cleaned organized, We've got all the bags
21:21
out of it. I then also go in and do reiky on spaces,
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so you can do reiki not just on people, you can do it on
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spaces too. So I will go out and then do this cleansing of that
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energy because you also, like every corner of your house, but your closet
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particularly, Man, you've got a lot of energy in there. And so
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people have reported after doing that, not only do they feel an ease and
21:48
a lightness in their closet, but nine times out of ten, the closet
21:52
is in the bedroom space too, right, and they'll be like, oh
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my gosh, like I slept amazing last night. And like, well,
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yeah, we cleared out a lot out of duck energy that was in the
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closet space, which is adjacent to where you're sleeping, and so it's we're
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working on tangible conscious level of the limiting beliefs. But those clothes also held
22:14
those energies. So when we're doing the ky the raiky energy is also moving
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through there and kind of disconnecting those energetic ties as well. So yes,
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you end up with the cleaner closet, but man, like the perspective shifts,
22:30
the energy shift. We're releasing those limiting beliefs. That's really what it's
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all about. And then the clothes are just the fun part that we get
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to the vehicle. I think you use a different word at the beginning,
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but it's basically the vehicle for the change, and I mean it's it's fun.
22:48
It's fun that makes it a little less daunting than today. We're going
22:52
to work on clearing you're limiting beliefs well, and I think it's no pun
22:59
intending a little more layered in a different language, right, I think it's
23:03
all about shifting perspectives and kind of finding that common thread of it all,
23:10
right, the common nominator in this is those limiting beliefs that manifest into different
23:18
avenues of our lives. Right, there's different colored threads, like you've got
23:23
obviously read for maybe your fear around money, Maybe there's blue for this fear
23:30
around you know, not occupying the space that you want. Maybe there's fear
23:36
around who. You know. There's a numerous things that can transpire from the
23:41
limiting beliefs that we hold. And so, Missy, I gotta ask you
23:48
this, how often, considering you're the stylists, right, I'm wondering,
23:52
how often, even for you, you have to do kind of a closet
23:56
clans or ranking session on your own And then and then number two, when
24:04
you find yourself falling into those limiting beliefs around money around Oh, I spent
24:11
a pretty penny on this outfit, but I can no longer I don't no
24:18
longer identify with it. How do you navigate that? Even for you?
24:23
Oh? I mean, it's it's tough. It's tough. Sometimes I wish
24:26
I could like clone myself and have myself talk to me. And that's why
24:33
I kind of see it as but I just like do it all, like
24:34
do it all with it myself because I would say to kind of answer the
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tangible part of that question, I would say, like every three to six
24:44
months, like I did one of the beginning of this year where I I
24:48
actually listened to a recording of myself that I made doing the vision session.
24:53
So I'm like guiding myself through. So that one is where like I almost
24:56
feel like I cloned myself because I watch a video of myself take myself through
25:00
the meditation, because like, if I try to do it just in my
25:03
head, i'd like i'd do it too fast. I like try to like
25:07
zoom through it. So I have to make myself sit down and listen to
25:11
myself, which is so funny. It's so funny to go back and listen
25:15
to yourself do stuff because I'm like, wow, I said that. I
25:18
like, whoa, that's wow. Cool. But anyways, so I will
25:25
do that and then I will go through and I go through my closet,
25:26
and the one that I did at the beginning of the year was very I
25:30
didn't get a lot of new stuff, Like I didn't get a lot of
25:33
new stuff in my vision. So, like I went through, there were
25:37
some things that didn't fit anymore, and there was a few things. I'm
25:38
like, I haven't worn this, I haven't worn that. And it was
25:41
kind of a pretty simple one, but in I think it was in May.
25:45
In May, I went through a pretty big like look myself in the
25:51
mirror and I got to be honest with myself. Some of that was related
25:55
that came towards the end. Some of that was related to this like tour
25:59
that I had to cancel, but there was it was building before that,
26:03
and that one was a much bigger cleanse, Like I think I took out
26:07
four or five bags of clothes from my closet, and I don't have tons
26:11
of stuff in my closet anymore. You've never listened to me before. I
26:15
used to talk about how I had like three of our closets in this house
26:18
filled with clothes. Now all of my stuff fits into about two thirds of
26:23
the closet in our bedroom, and my husband actually has space for his clothes
26:26
in our bedroom closet too, So I don't have tons, but I still
26:32
I got rid of a lot. And then in this space recreating and retooling
26:38
my own style. And for me, what I realized this time is I'd
26:45
kind of almost gotten to a little bit too wide of a variety in my
26:49
style, And what really came through for me is like, oh, I
26:53
need to stop trying to almost let everybody see themselves in me, because I'd
27:00
kind of almost gotten into like too far down like the stylist path. I
27:04
was like, Oh, I need to like let people see themselves in my
27:10
style, and so then I'd be like this one day and this one day
27:12
and this one day. And the realization coming through that didn't actually come through
27:18
me. Some of it was from my coach, which was like, gotta
27:19
be willing to take like listen to the hard words. Was like, you're
27:25
really stylish, but what is your actual style? I don't know. And
27:30
like when she said that to me and was like, I don't know how
27:34
I would like describe your style, I went, I'm doing something wrong because
27:42
I need to stand in that authenticity because that's what I like, that's what
27:48
I'm doing for other people, and I'd just gotten a little bit too like
27:52
too broad with it, and so I'm focusing things back, playing with things,
28:00
and the process is like it's not a walk in the park even for
28:04
me to do it for myself, because it does require you to be open
28:11
to hearing some things that maybe you don't want to hear getting rid of some
28:15
things that you're like, oh, I don't know, I really want to
28:18
do it, and knowing that you almost like I feel like this sounds super
28:22
cliche, but I'm gonna say it anyway. You choose. You're hard,
28:27
right, It's hard to stay stuck in that place. And for me,
28:33
what that was creating in my life was actually a little bit of a disconnection
28:37
with who I am and where I'm heading. And then that was showing up
28:41
in the results in my business. And then it's hard. You know,
28:47
it's hard to be in that, but it's hard to face like, oh
28:52
yeah, I needed to make some changes here. And there were I mean,
28:55
there was tons of tears. May was a month of like tons of
28:57
tears. Behind the scenes, I did tons of fun things too, which
29:03
was also like the cool thing. This is the first time I've gone through
29:07
that and been able to really feel like I zoomed out and be like,
29:10
well, like, there's a lot of great things that happened, and I
29:14
was going through this grief, which is like super human and normal. But
29:19
I think we try to like pinpoint good and bad and like these are good
29:23
emotions and these are bad emotions, and when I'm feeling these, I can't
29:27
be feeling these. And when I'm feeling these, I can't be feeling you
29:30
know, the other, like vice versa kind of thing. And I'm like,
29:33
oh't no. Like I was going through a period of grief and I
29:37
still had Like May, it was amazing, my daughter graduated from preschool,
29:41
and we you know, at the end of May, beginning of June,
29:42
we had a dancer. We just did so many fun things as a family
29:48
and personally, like I spent time with you know, friends, you know,
29:52
I did a lot of really cool things, and I was going through
29:56
this at the same time. They can coexist and coexist, and it's actually
30:00
this beautiful like view of the human experience when you when you do that.
30:07
But both of them are hard. Coming back to that point, both of
30:10
them are hard. Whether you decide to stay stuck in that which you're probably
30:15
not conscious to be, like I'm gonna stay stuck, but you're like,
30:18
I'm gonna be in this comfortable place, comfortable, but that comfortable place isn't
30:22
comfortable either. It has all these unintended consequences. Or you can say okay,
30:27
like I'm gonna be here. I'm gonna cry the tears, I'm gonna
30:30
feel the hurt feelings. I'm gonna, you know, be allow myself to
30:37
be mad at my coach for a minute, because like I had like a
30:41
week where I was just really really pissed off and I actually wasn't allowing myself
30:45
to feel that. And when I finally I talked to myself in the car
30:51
sometimes when I'm really trying to process stuff, and I was talking along and
30:53
all of a sudden, like this thing like I could just feel it.
30:56
I was like, there's this thing that wants to come out. And I
30:57
was like, okay, you let out. You just say what you ever
31:00
you need to say. And he was like this like vitriol of black man,
31:06
like at this and at that, at her wind. And it happened
31:11
for about sixty seconds, and I was like, huh, I feel better.
31:15
Oh that's what's been like stuck in here. And I allowed myself to
31:19
say it, but I didn't believe it because I'm like, I know,
31:22
I don't feel that way about her or about the situation, but I had
31:27
to let it out, you know. And it's the same with like the
31:30
grief like that all gets tied together, the grief, the anger, the
31:33
shame. You gotta let it out, gotta you have to believe it,
31:37
but you gotta let it out. So a very long winded way to tell
31:42
you that I go through the same stuff that you know I'm asking my clients
31:48
to go through, and it's ever evolving. You're never going to arrive at
31:56
a place um and I think i'd kind of almost gotten into that feeling,
32:00
which is where I was like reflecting all of these other things back. It
32:02
was like, oh, like I have arrived and like, no, the
32:07
universe is like no, we're not there yet. Like you're not there,
32:12
You're not arriving. You need to keep a ball being And my hope is
32:16
to help people not like kind of run into it like a brick wall like
32:22
I feel like I kind of did in May and be like, oh,
32:27
I noticed that this level up is like coming, so like, let me
32:31
help you kind of build the ramp to get there so you don't have to
32:34
just like ram your head right into the into the wall. And if that
32:39
happens too, it's okay, you can work through that too, Missy.
32:45
First and foremost, like I got to mention that I love the response that
32:50
you just had because it made me. What I'm getting is the duality grief
32:55
paints before us, the duality if we're open to seeing it. Right,
33:00
Like what you mentioned about how emotions are not good or bad, but we
33:04
tend to because of conditioning. We're under the assumption that these emotions. I
33:09
can't be happy and grieving at the same time, but yes you can.
33:15
And that to me is the beauty of the human experience. Is that duality.
33:21
There's no this ore, it's this end. Yes, i am under
33:27
my grief journey and I'm still moving forward with my life, painting that picture
33:32
of choosing your heart. You can choose to continue to be a prisoner of
33:37
our grief or learn how to walk to it, embrace it, and set
33:43
an action plan to move along with our grief. Because grief doesn't go away.
33:49
It definitely doesn't go away. It evolves over time. And you kind
33:52
of hinted on that just a minute ago about evolution of our journey on this
33:58
human experience. Missy, I gotta say you know again, thank you so
34:04
much for coming on and being the first returning guests of grouping Porsha. We're
34:09
gonna be wrapping up here soon, and Missy, before we conclude, first
34:14
and foremost, if our listeners again want to connect with you and learn more
34:17
about you, can you share your social media and your website for them to
34:21
find you. Yes, of course, you know find me on Instagram at
34:24
soul dot toto dot style. I hang out there frequently, or if you
34:31
prefer, you can find me at my website Soul dash to t o dash
34:37
style dot com. Same same spellings for both, just that different punctuation,
34:44
and you can reach out to me via email on my website as well.
34:47
Let's just get a little bit more of a flavor of what I'm all about
34:52
and what I offer. Excellent, excellent, Missy, You always know I
34:57
always got a grand FINALI course. Right. So for our listeners, you've
35:01
left us number one with a vision for not just our closet of the wardrobe
35:09
we want to embody, but also the vision for our life right. Number
35:15
two, working through our limiting beliefs and understanding the multilayered and threads that tend
35:23
to congregate together. Right, and then number three being intentional with every step
35:32
on this journey. Right, Because grief is a process, but it's not
35:38
permanent. And we can find a new pathway and the hidden gift that's within
35:45
the grief process. So for our listeners, Missy, what words of inspiration
35:52
can you leave with them today? You know, the biggest thing that's coming
35:58
through for me right now to bring a home is in the end when we
36:01
talk about feeling great, feeling anger, feeling all of those things that come
36:07
along with that, all of those perceived negative emotions. I don't know where
36:13
this research came from, so I can't say who it's from, but I've
36:17
heard it multiple times from multiple sources. But I think it's only sixty to
36:22
ninety seconds when you actually let the emotion come through and process what it wants
36:30
to be. So, like I just described a little bit ago about that
36:32
anger that came through, as soon as I let it process, it was
36:37
like, oh this like weight was lifted. And so knowing that, even
36:44
though sometimes might take you a little a few days like it did me,
36:46
like knowing that, I think it's so helpful in realizing, like, hey,
36:52
if I just stop avoiding this, I let that come out, it's
37:00
going to make you feel lighter. And then the second piece of that,
37:02
which I already hinted on, is you don't have to believe the thoughts that
37:09
come out of that emotion. You can learn from them, you can understand
37:15
why they're there. But if you don't let those emotions speak and come out,
37:20
you are pushing them into your body. You're going to create so many
37:22
more issues for yourself that if you just allow it to come out. And
37:27
I think knowing being armed with the information of oh, if I just let
37:31
this come out, it's not going to laugh that long removes this idea that
37:36
if we let it come out, it's just going to be in this horrible,
37:38
awful thing that's just going to ruin our day. It doesn't have to.
37:43
In fact, it more likely will ruin your day when you keep it
37:46
all held in versus if you let it out. And so whether that's anger
37:52
that you're letting out or if it's crying, then you need to let out.
37:55
I mean, I think I saw you on your Instagram stores the other
37:59
day ask a question about how you like process grief, and like, man,
38:04
a good cry is one of the number one ways that I started to
38:07
learn, like, oh it was okay when I feel that lump in my
38:09
throat, to just let it out, let it out and then it doesn't
38:13
last very long. You let it out and you're like, oh, and
38:16
you feel that weight lifted. And so if you take away nothing else,
38:22
as a listener of this show today, if you just let those feelings out,
38:28
it doesn't last long, and it's gonna make you feel so much lighter.
38:31
And you don't have to believe those thoughts, but you do have to
38:35
let them come out, because if you leave them in, then I just
38:38
kinda fester and do stuff that you don't want to create in your life.
38:45
All of that disease in your body and the way you feel it's not worth
38:50
it. Let it out, Let it out, let it go, and
38:54
let it out, and Missy, I agree with you. I'm glad that
38:58
I did that poll on my Instagram story because it really gave me an idea
39:02
of how people really navigate and let go of the heavy emotions that come with
39:08
grief. Now, I'm not gonna lie. I am somebody who cries,
39:12
Like when I tell y'all, does snot be so thick coming out of my
39:15
nose? I can literally tell my own car. But I'm a digress there.
39:20
Well, everybody that was your personal stylist and founder of Soul two style
39:27
Missy Baker who you heard from? And that concludes another episode of Grew with
39:31
Porsche. Everybody, thanks for listening, Piece and hair Grease everybody, Thank
39:38
you so much for tuning in to Grew with Porsche. Remember to subscribe to
39:43
my channel for the latest episodes, and of course follow me on social media.
39:46
Can follow me on Instagram at Porsche the Producer Anyway, guys, until
39:52
we meet again, Peace and hair grease and no wonder any one