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The Fifth Hour: That's My Duck & Benny's Boys · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Kutbooms.
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Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
0:05
Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
0:09
Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
0:12
Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
0:15
Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of
0:19
Speaker 2: hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
0:23
Speaker 2: with Ben Maller starts right now.
0:28
Speaker 3: In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
0:34
Speaker 3: Maller and Danny G. Radio A Happy Saturday. It is
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Speaker 3: the twenty third day of August as I hang out
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Speaker 3: here at a very early morning hour in Lost Wages, Nevada,
0:47
Speaker 3: and I have made some donations here to the local economy,
0:51
Speaker 3: which I guess is struggling everywhere I read on social media.
0:53
Speaker 1: It's struggling in.
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Speaker 3: Danny G Radio holding down the ford in LaVita Loca
1:00
Speaker 3: in southern California. And we are reunited here on a
1:04
Speaker 3: very important day which we will get into in a minute. Danny,
1:08
Speaker 3: We've got Vegas Baby Donald derangement syndrome, but not what
1:13
Speaker 3: you think and Benny and the Boys. Now that has
1:17
Speaker 3: the makings of a very mediocre podcast. Danny but it'll
1:21
Speaker 3: be hopell me better than mediocre. We're hoping better than
1:24
Speaker 3: mediocre on the fifth hour today.
1:27
Speaker 1: By the way, we are now less than two weeks
1:30
Speaker 1: away from the NFL season.
1:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, college football beginning right. It was from college football.
1:35
Speaker 3: It's like a soft launch for college.
1:37
Speaker 1: Football week zero. Right.
1:39
Speaker 3: I was told like I on the Overnight show. I say, well,
1:42
Speaker 3: it's the zero hour, and then I said, well, no,
1:44
Speaker 3: that's it's our one. I said, well, no to me,
1:46
Speaker 3: it's the zero hour, and then Lorena would argue with me.
1:49
Speaker 3: I said, one, it's zero and she said, no, it's
1:50
Speaker 3: our one. It's not the zero hour. We got into that.
1:53
Speaker 3: But today's today, Danny. Today is today. It is launch day.
1:56
Speaker 3: It is blast off. We're on I'm the launching pad
2:01
Speaker 3: right now. This has become we we wanted to be
2:04
Speaker 3: an annual pilgrimage. We think it's going to become that.
2:07
Speaker 3: This is year number two. The faithful, the curious, and
2:12
Speaker 3: the What the hell else am I going to do?
2:14
Speaker 3: I'm a middle aged person. It's a Saturday in Vegas.
2:17
Speaker 3: I got nothing else to do. That crowd will all
2:20
Speaker 3: descend upon the Stakeout Bar and Grill over near UNLV
2:27
Speaker 3: here in the desert this afternoon. It is the twenty
2:29
Speaker 3: twenty five Vegas Malor Meet and Greet, and it is
2:34
Speaker 3: on like a Donkey Kong video game, and I'm very
2:38
Speaker 3: excited about that. People have been asking questions, Danny. We've
2:42
Speaker 3: you've been to some of these in the past. I've
2:44
Speaker 3: done a lot of them, and we promoted it a
2:47
Speaker 3: lot on the Overnight Show, and people have been asking
2:48
Speaker 3: questions like, why are you doing this, Why you're not
2:52
Speaker 3: getting paid to do this, why are you doing this?
2:54
Speaker 3: And to me, you're already missing the point. This is,
2:58
Speaker 3: as you know, we both fell in love with radio, Danny.
3:00
Speaker 1: This is radio.
3:01
Speaker 3: We're talking about the most intimate, most personal medium there is.
3:05
Speaker 3: And every once in a while, you sit alone right
3:08
Speaker 3: in the studio and you listening will you'll be alone.
3:11
Speaker 3: You'll lay in bed alone, maybe you've got insomnia. It
3:15
Speaker 3: might even be married. There might be somebody next to you,
3:17
Speaker 3: but they're sleeping, so you're pretty much alone. And you're
3:20
Speaker 3: driving alone, you're working at night, you're in your own
3:24
Speaker 3: little world. You know, the voice in the dark that
3:27
Speaker 3: would be coming out of the magic radio box or whatever,
3:29
Speaker 3: And so every so often that voice in this case me,
3:36
Speaker 3: we decide to step out and as weed Man hit
3:39
Speaker 3: me calls of the magic radio box and see if
3:42
Speaker 3: the people on the other end of the speaker actually exist.
3:46
Speaker 3: Spoiler alert, Danny, they actually do.
3:48
Speaker 1: They actually do. I know, Sap, you were waxing poetically.
3:55
Speaker 3: I know a deep thoughts on the Fifth Hour podcast. Now,
3:59
Speaker 3: how many people are going to show up? This is
4:00
Speaker 3: another question I get a lot of, Danny. I have
4:03
Speaker 3: no idea. No one may show. We might just be
4:06
Speaker 3: there and that's it. Nobody will be there. I don't know,
4:09
Speaker 3: maybe five people, six people. There could be six hundred.
4:12
Speaker 3: I had a dream. I don't dream very often, Danny,
4:15
Speaker 3: but I had a dream the other day that it
4:17
Speaker 3: could be like six thousand, you know, and suddenly Clark
4:20
Speaker 3: County's finest. We'll be asking who's this guy named slug
4:24
Speaker 3: who organized this flash mob at some bar near UNLV, Like,
4:28
Speaker 3: what is this all about? And that's uh, that's part
4:33
Speaker 3: of the charm, Danny. That's that's part of the charm.
4:35
Speaker 3: And there's no RSVPs, although some people of us know
4:38
Speaker 3: they're gonna be here. Like supermarket Steve Queen Rocks in
4:41
Speaker 3: Big lou He's on number two from the LBC. Some
4:45
Speaker 3: legends have announced they're going to be there, but as
4:48
Speaker 3: far as I know, there's no bottle service. It's it's
4:52
Speaker 3: in many ways a democracy, right, It's you show up,
4:55
Speaker 3: and it's the silent majority, the people that listen but
5:00
Speaker 3: don't actually usually call the show and stuff like that.
5:02
Speaker 1: And so the people that.
5:03
Speaker 3: Will be there though salt of the earth and it's
5:08
Speaker 3: not some sanitized corporate networking mixer type deal.
5:12
Speaker 1: Everyone's on their best behavior.
5:16
Speaker 3: The way I would sum this up, and I want
5:17
Speaker 3: to get your thoughts on this, Danny, because the way
5:19
Speaker 3: I would sum up a malard meat green, I've talked
5:21
Speaker 3: about this. I don't do it often, but every once
5:23
Speaker 3: in a while I'll go out to Santa Anita here
5:26
Speaker 3: in Socow beautiful racetrack, and I'll look at the crowd
5:31
Speaker 3: and I'm always amazed by the crowd or a horse race,
5:34
Speaker 3: and I think we've gotten to that point with the
5:38
Speaker 3: Malard militia. It's a race track crowd and I love it.
5:42
Speaker 3: I'm talking about rich guy, poor guy. You know here
5:46
Speaker 3: in Vegas is you know the whale that gambles a
5:49
Speaker 3: ton of money, and then right next to that person
5:52
Speaker 3: would be like some degenerate gambler and you know, somebody
5:56
Speaker 3: who lost all their money, but they still have a
5:59
Speaker 3: little bit left to buy Keno tickets or something like that.
6:01
Speaker 1: And so to give you an example, last.
6:04
Speaker 3: Year we had at the meet and greet we did,
6:07
Speaker 3: which was in August of twenty twenty four, we had
6:11
Speaker 3: an actual Bolaggio executive who was there, and ten minutes
6:18
Speaker 3: later a guy known as mouth Washed Mike, the homeless, lovable,
6:23
Speaker 3: possibly intoxicated, well definitely intoxicated guy. He showed up telling
6:29
Speaker 3: stories about he's from the Midwest, but he lives in Vegas.
6:32
Speaker 1: Here, I don't know that he lives in Vegas.
6:34
Speaker 3: He's homeless, and he was telling stories about swimming in
6:37
Speaker 3: the same Blaggio fountains from the you know, the executive
6:40
Speaker 3: that had been there and wanted me to go out
6:43
Speaker 3: and watch him swim. And and that's the that's the
6:47
Speaker 3: gist of it. It's like a racetrack crowd. So there'll
6:49
Speaker 3: be some really rich, successful people there and then there'll
6:52
Speaker 3: be other people who are not doing so well. And
6:56
Speaker 3: I've never been to a Colin Cowherd appearance. I don't
6:59
Speaker 3: know that he does the is I doubt he does,
7:01
Speaker 3: But if he does, I'm guessing it's probably the same,
7:04
Speaker 3: unless it's not.
7:06
Speaker 1: He's had events for the Volume, which is his podcast network.
7:11
Speaker 1: But yeah, but it's not. It's not usually for the listeners.
7:14
Speaker 1: It's for the industry. They're like industry parties, the VIP.
7:18
Speaker 3: Yeahah, so this to me that the appeal is like
7:23
Speaker 3: the malor meet and read is unpredictable. We have done
7:26
Speaker 3: a lot of these. The one in Boston. We had
7:29
Speaker 3: Dave from Florida who drove all the way up just
7:35
Speaker 3: to hang out for an hour at the cask and
7:37
Speaker 3: flagging in Boston and you know whatever, thousand miles.
7:42
Speaker 1: Whatever it was.
7:44
Speaker 3: And then he had Roscoe the parrot, and I said,
7:46
Speaker 3: where's Roscoe. The parry says, don't worry, hold on, let
7:48
Speaker 3: me go to the car and get Roscoe. And then
7:51
Speaker 3: he walked back in and he held up very proudly
7:54
Speaker 3: Roscoe the parrot.
7:55
Speaker 1: Who is a stuffed animal that was taxidermy or.
8:01
Speaker 3: No, no, no stuff dni.
8:05
Speaker 1: Yeah. No. It's a wide range of people, from lawyers
8:12
Speaker 1: to the people lawyers sometimes put away in jail.
8:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I'll give you exp what Eddie called into
8:20
Speaker 3: the show. A couple of days back, and he had
8:24
Speaker 3: mentioned that he had met a big fan of the
8:26
Speaker 3: Overnight Show, a gentleman named Sherwin. And Sherwin is a
8:31
Speaker 3: retired federal judge. That's like the that's pretty close to
8:36
Speaker 3: the top. You're a federal judge. You know, you're not
8:38
Speaker 3: Supreme Court judge, but you're a federal judge. And so
8:42
Speaker 3: it is really the wild wild West, and you don't
8:43
Speaker 3: know who you're gonna meet. There'll be some big executives there,
8:46
Speaker 3: and then there'll be a truck driver from Bakersfield, and
8:50
Speaker 3: maybe there'll be some guy wearing an old clippers lamar
8:53
Speaker 3: odom jersey who just came back from the Bunny ranch.
8:55
Speaker 3: And you know, you don't want to really touch that
8:58
Speaker 3: guy's hands, you know, but yeah, you know, just hang out.
9:02
Speaker 3: And it's always fun too because I'm, as you know, Danny,
9:04
Speaker 3: I'm an introvert. I am not the most social person,
9:07
Speaker 3: so it is out of my comfort zone to do
9:10
Speaker 3: these things. It is, and then a lot of the
9:13
Speaker 3: people will also be introverts that will show up today,
9:17
Speaker 3: and so it's it's always an awkward things like you
9:20
Speaker 3: always can tell the people in the back of the
9:22
Speaker 3: room that want to be there, but kind of don't
9:25
Speaker 3: want to be there, you know what I mean, Danny,
9:27
Speaker 3: You're like, yeah, I know, I want to. I'm a
9:29
Speaker 3: fan of the show, but I don't really like being
9:31
Speaker 3: around other people, and so I kind of I totally
9:33
Speaker 3: get that.
9:34
Speaker 1: It's kind of like being a chaperone at a dance.
9:37
Speaker 1: A lot of a lot of the kids are too shy,
9:39
Speaker 1: so they're up against the wall and you have to
9:40
Speaker 1: like push them up against each other so they could
9:42
Speaker 1: really bump and grind.
9:46
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. But then there's also there's a
9:48
Speaker 3: few people that are extroverts and swap spit and the
9:53
Speaker 3: extroverts one did there they want to be the star
9:55
Speaker 3: of the show.
9:56
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, there's always somebody tap dancing.
9:58
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, there's always I mean, we had and I
10:01
Speaker 3: don't know if he's going to be be here in
10:03
Speaker 3: Vegas today. We had Surfer Todd, the comedian was great
10:07
Speaker 3: and he he came with his wife, a great couple
10:11
Speaker 3: of his fun people, total extroverts, you know, total extroverts.
10:14
Speaker 3: And then I hit our buddy from Knoxville, who's not
10:17
Speaker 3: gonna be able to make it. We had Tammy, who
10:19
Speaker 3: lives here in Vegas, but she's busy. She won't be
10:21
Speaker 3: here today, so who knows. But it's gonna be fun,
10:25
Speaker 3: have a good time, and hopefully no one there Danny
10:28
Speaker 3: will be suffering from Donald derangement syndrome.
10:30
Speaker 1: I'm hoping. I don't know though, maybe they will be.
10:33
Speaker 1: I have no idea.
10:34
Speaker 3: Tag oh val yah.
10:37
Speaker 1: Yeah. At the end of last Saturday's podcast, we gave
10:41
Speaker 1: big ups to mister k he knows some people. He
10:44
Speaker 1: knows some Disney folks. Yeah, Minnie Mouse, I think he
10:47
Speaker 1: used to date. Yeah. They don't like to talk about that,
10:50
Speaker 1: but yeah, yeah, he broke up the Happy Home with Mickey.
10:55
Speaker 1: So cool that I was able to get to bring
10:57
Speaker 1: the family to the park. We get inside and you know,
11:02
Speaker 1: the morning is great there because there's not the full
11:05
Speaker 1: on rush of people yet the weather is not you know, Anaheim, California.
11:10
Speaker 1: When it says it's seventy four, it feels like ninety
11:12
Speaker 1: four there inside the park.
11:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a lot of concrete, there's a lot of asphalt.
11:17
Speaker 1: And a lot of bodies. Yeah. And we started out
11:20
Speaker 1: by running over to Toontown. When you went to Disney,
11:24
Speaker 1: did you go on the railroad Mickey's railroad?
11:26
Speaker 3: I did not I did not make it to Toontown.
11:31
Speaker 3: We mostly hung out around Pirates of the Caribbean in
11:35
Speaker 3: that area, and we went to the Star Wars thing
11:37
Speaker 3: a little bit. We didn't make it all the way
11:39
Speaker 3: back to Toontown.
11:40
Speaker 1: How was it was? It? Was it all right? I
11:42
Speaker 1: think that's that new Mickey Mouse ride they do the
11:45
Speaker 1: old school cartoon. You're standing in front of the screen
11:48
Speaker 1: and then the train like crashes through the screen and
11:51
Speaker 1: there's real smoke that comes out, and CoA said, Wow,
11:56
Speaker 1: if CoA could curse, he would have said, holy shit.
12:01
Speaker 1: That was the tone in his voice. So he was
12:04
Speaker 1: blown away by that. And then we're walking through the
12:07
Speaker 1: rest of Toontown. My better half she sees the Donald
12:11
Speaker 1: Dutt character walking through. Now, you know, and we've made
12:17
Speaker 1: fun of Disney adults before on the radio. These are
12:20
Speaker 1: grown men and women who stand in line and they
12:24
Speaker 1: make the lines impossible. These characters are there for the kids.
12:28
Speaker 1: They're not there. They shouldn't be there for the adults.
12:31
Speaker 1: I understand if you love Disneyland, and I like the
12:33
Speaker 1: park a lot, but I'm not gonna take a spot
12:36
Speaker 1: in the line to meet a character holding an autograph book. Yeah,
12:41
Speaker 1: it's a little tough. Yeah, I've seen grown adults holding
12:44
Speaker 1: autograph books standing in the line, pushing little kids out
12:48
Speaker 1: of the way so that they could get one of
12:50
Speaker 1: the character's autographs. Yeah, well, what should be the cutoff
12:53
Speaker 1: on that, Danny? What do you think? Probably twelve years old? Okay,
12:58
Speaker 1: Now Brenda's fall Donald. She's holding CoA, so she has
13:02
Speaker 1: a reason to stalk Donald.
13:05
Speaker 3: And again, for those that are new to the podcast,
13:07
Speaker 3: how old is Cole?
13:08
Speaker 1: Again, He's very like a couple of years old? Right,
13:10
Speaker 1: he just had his second birthday a couple of weeks ago.
13:13
Speaker 1: I get a couple two years old. That's it just
13:16
Speaker 1: turned to. It's one of his favorite things to say.
13:18
Speaker 1: He holds up two bananas and he says two two,
13:22
Speaker 1: and I'm like, how old are you? And he says too.
13:25
Speaker 1: He sounds very Italian when he says it. Yeah, So
13:29
Speaker 1: Brenda is now stalking Donald Duck because she knows Donald
13:34
Speaker 1: is on his way to a signing or you know,
13:36
Speaker 1: people take photos with him. They have these little spaces
13:39
Speaker 1: where they walk the character over and then they'll start
13:42
Speaker 1: forming the line. And there's the employees who are now
13:45
Speaker 1: trying to orchestrate everything of this rude family cuts in
13:49
Speaker 1: front of Brenda even though she's first. Ah, and now
13:53
Speaker 1: we have to wait for CoA to meet Donald Duck.
13:57
Speaker 1: Now he just turned too. He doesn't understand sharing yet.
14:01
Speaker 1: He doesn't understand the concept of waiting for anything. The
14:04
Speaker 1: fact that these kids, these two kids in this family
14:07
Speaker 1: cut in front of him. He was super pissed off,
14:11
Speaker 1: to the point where he was screaming as if Donald
14:15
Speaker 1: Duck was murdering him with a knife. Got a murder.
14:18
Speaker 1: You should have saw the look on the employees' faces.
14:21
Speaker 1: And now these two little kids, they have autograph books. Okay,
14:24
Speaker 1: that's cool because they're the ones that are supposed to
14:26
Speaker 1: have those books. Although I still don't understand that. Either
14:29
Speaker 1: you give your little kid an autograph book. I don't
14:32
Speaker 1: want Mickey Mouse's autograph or Mini's or any of those
14:34
Speaker 1: characters autographs, but whatever, these kids get the autograph. Meanwhile,
14:39
Speaker 1: I know you.
14:39
Speaker 3: Want Danny's Walt Disney's autograph, but he's not available.
14:42
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, if you got his autograph, that would be
14:45
Speaker 1: magical and slightly creepy and cryptkeeper. Like CoA, he's not
14:53
Speaker 1: understanding why he has to wait, Like I see Donald
14:57
Speaker 1: Donald's right there, he's right in front of me. Give me,
15:00
Speaker 1: Donald Duck. Finally these little kids and they're taken forever.
15:04
Speaker 1: They move out of the way. We walk CoA over,
15:07
Speaker 1: and his tears they go away pretty fast because Donald
15:11
Speaker 1: Donald's like trying to calm him down. And I'm gonna
15:14
Speaker 1: shoot you a picture right now. This is uh, this
15:17
Speaker 1: is when the crying stopped and CoA leaned over and
15:21
Speaker 1: gave Donald Duck a huge hug. All right, Oh man,
15:26
Speaker 1: look at that. That is joy right there.
15:29
Speaker 3: That is uh, his face is buried and yeah, ah
15:34
Speaker 3: on Donald's armpit.
15:35
Speaker 1: Is that's that's great? Yeah? Not the uh, not the
15:39
Speaker 1: most clean part of that costume right there to put
15:42
Speaker 1: your face in. By the way, what kind of job
15:46
Speaker 1: is that where you have to stand in one of
15:48
Speaker 1: those As I said, once the sun came out, it
15:51
Speaker 1: felt like one hundred degrees in the park. For those
15:53
Speaker 1: employees who wear those character costumes, do they get hazard pay? Yeah?
15:59
Speaker 3: Well, I obviously they don't work that long, right, They
16:02
Speaker 3: take a lot of breaks. But I can only imagine
16:05
Speaker 3: what the smell must have been like when they took
16:06
Speaker 3: that thing off. I was I've told the story before,
16:09
Speaker 3: but years ago, when I was doing stuff for the Dodgers.
16:11
Speaker 3: We were in Milwaukee at the old County Stadium and
16:14
Speaker 3: I was walking It was a day game, the Brewer
16:17
Speaker 3: day game. We were walking around in the bowels of
16:19
Speaker 3: County Stadium. We walked into a backroom and a friend
16:22
Speaker 3: of mine that showed me where the racing sausages uniforms
16:26
Speaker 3: were sausage race and they only wear those for like
16:30
Speaker 3: one half inning in between. I think it's the seventh
16:32
Speaker 3: inning where they the sausage race. And I went in
16:36
Speaker 3: there and I picked one of the costumes up and
16:38
Speaker 3: it smelled Danny like. It smelled like a hockey locker room,
16:42
Speaker 3: you know, terrible. It was foul. I can only in
16:46
Speaker 3: those Disney costumes. They were him every day, right NonStop. Man,
16:50
Speaker 3: Oh look cool, cool. I'm seeing another photo here.
16:53
Speaker 1: Yeah. I sent the one as he's parting ways with
16:56
Speaker 1: Donald and he says bye bye, and he said, thank you.
17:03
Speaker 1: That is great. That is outstanding. Many long day at
17:08
Speaker 1: the park. You do it for the kids. Your legs
17:11
Speaker 1: feel like jello. At the end of the night. We
17:13
Speaker 1: stayed all the way till midnight. We closed that bitch
17:16
Speaker 1: down because we knew we weren't going to be able
17:18
Speaker 1: to go back anytime soon, especially with all the kids
17:22
Speaker 1: together because now two of them are off to school.
17:25
Speaker 1: So it was a beautiful, beautiful day. Again, thank you
17:29
Speaker 1: to circle K there. Yeah, man, yeah, And that's gonna
17:33
Speaker 1: be one of my longtime memories now, is how CoA
17:36
Speaker 1: just could not wait to get into Donald Duck's arms.
17:41
Speaker 3: That's that photo of him, your your son who by
17:44
Speaker 3: the way, there's no debate, that's your son. Looks just
17:46
Speaker 3: like it just looks just dead wringer.
17:50
Speaker 1: You know, I'll post that picture today at Danny G
17:54
Speaker 1: Radio on Twitter.
17:55
Speaker 3: But that's you know, that's why you know you spend
17:58
Speaker 3: the money. Now, we had the the sugar daddy, uh
18:01
Speaker 3: you know a circle k who helped us out.
18:03
Speaker 1: But that was that was That's great.
18:06
Speaker 3: Man, That's an awesome photo him so very very cool
18:09
Speaker 3: and definitely Donald arrangement syndrome. And is it still I
18:13
Speaker 3: know it's been a few days, is co is still
18:15
Speaker 3: romanticizing Donald Duck? Have you have you shown him like
18:19
Speaker 3: Donald Duck cartoons on the phone?
18:21
Speaker 1: Have you pulled out some old yeah, you know what
18:23
Speaker 1: he's been doing the past week now. He pulled out
18:26
Speaker 1: all of his Disney stuffed animals that he has, and
18:29
Speaker 1: he's been lining them up and he's been carrying the
18:32
Speaker 1: Donald around by itself, like to the high chair, to
18:35
Speaker 1: the to the bath. And now that Donald Duck is
18:38
Speaker 1: on his hip. That's awesome. And you know he feels
18:41
Speaker 1: like he knows him. Now. Oh yeah, we were tight,
18:43
Speaker 1: you know, hell yeah, you know that's my dog, the boy.
18:48
Speaker 1: I heard that, my duck. That's my duck, my duckh
18:53
Speaker 1: that's great.
18:55
Speaker 3: Uh So turning the page on that though, as as
18:58
Speaker 3: you know, uh any, we text now and again, we
19:02
Speaker 3: keep in content. We do the podcast every weekend and
19:05
Speaker 3: you listening as a p one last weekend took an
19:09
Speaker 3: extended elongated couple of days and went on a little roady.
19:16
Speaker 3: And here's the thing though, I bring this up from
19:19
Speaker 3: time to time when you live in southern California, like
19:22
Speaker 3: we do the show from Southern California, live here, your
19:26
Speaker 3: road trips, stay in California, like the state is too big.
19:29
Speaker 3: It's you know, I realized, I'm doing this from Vegas,
19:33
Speaker 3: which is like a suburb of LA but it really
19:35
Speaker 3: is the Hotel California. You can check out anytime, but
19:39
Speaker 3: you can never leave. And we packed up the station wagon.
19:42
Speaker 3: The otherwise knows the malormobile. We went full I'm gonna
19:46
Speaker 3: date myself full heule Houser in search of California's goal.
19:51
Speaker 3: That's a dated reference, but this guy was a legend
19:53
Speaker 3: on PBS many years ago.
19:54
Speaker 1: Rest in peace, fuel Houser. And so we hit the road.
19:58
Speaker 3: This was the last I guess the Thursday prior Thursday prior,
20:02
Speaker 3: and was we went right into the buzzsaw, right into
20:07
Speaker 3: the bus. So that is Los Angeles traffic. And if
20:10
Speaker 3: you're the type who loves what I call the Big three, Danny,
20:13
Speaker 3: I call it the Big three. I call it gridlock, congestion,
20:16
Speaker 3: and smog, this was your paradise. And so I'm the
20:19
Speaker 3: driver who I'm in the big chair, and I'm driving.
20:23
Speaker 3: The wife is the navigator, not that you really need
20:25
Speaker 3: a navigator, but you're trying to avoid the traffic, so
20:28
Speaker 3: you have the wife be the navigator. And I will
20:30
Speaker 3: not reveal her name, although the court systems may or
20:33
Speaker 3: may not list her as my spouse. So we were
20:35
Speaker 3: both running on fumes that were working overnight, and there
20:41
Speaker 3: was a tactical error that was made. Believe it or not,
20:45
Speaker 3: we were supposed to zig instead of zag and as
20:48
Speaker 3: a result of that tacnical error, which again I was
20:52
Speaker 3: the driver, I was not the navigator, so I'm not
20:55
Speaker 3: taking responsibility.
20:57
Speaker 1: I'm blaming the wife.
20:58
Speaker 3: Anyway, we ended upright in the belly of the beast
21:01
Speaker 3: on the four to five freeway at the worst possible time.
21:05
Speaker 3: Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper, cars stacked up
21:10
Speaker 3: like dominoes and who goofed. I've got to know, on
21:15
Speaker 3: the four h five freeway a place you don't want
21:17
Speaker 3: to be. And then serendipity, sirens, flashing lights, lights, red
21:28
Speaker 3: lights and blue lights spinning around. Now, my wife spotted
21:32
Speaker 3: it first because I was in a traffic days and
21:36
Speaker 3: way off in the distance.
21:38
Speaker 1: What's going on?
21:39
Speaker 3: And she said, is that a funeral procession? You see
21:42
Speaker 3: all those lights up there, Maybe that's the royal family.
21:46
Speaker 3: And I kind of turned my head and I looked
21:50
Speaker 3: out in the distance and I saw, you know, I
21:52
Speaker 3: moved my neck a little bit. I saw there were
21:55
Speaker 3: multiple California Highway Patrol motorcycles, and then there was a bus,
22:02
Speaker 3: and then there was another bus, and then there were
22:05
Speaker 3: there was not three buses, and there weren't four.
22:08
Speaker 1: There was I think there was five or six.
22:10
Speaker 3: It was a fleet of buses, all of them in
22:14
Speaker 3: perfect military style formation, surrounded by a brigade of cops
22:20
Speaker 3: a motorcade.
22:22
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah.
22:23
Speaker 3: And so at first I thought, well, maybe that's Lance
22:25
Speaker 3: the bus driver doing the tributes, because you knew I
22:26
Speaker 3: was leaving town. And then I realized, well, he's in
22:29
Speaker 3: San Francisco, and said, well, maybe that's Roberto of a
22:30
Speaker 3: bus driver. And then no, Roberto drives up. He's driving school.
22:34
Speaker 3: And then I thought, well, maybe that's Mason the bus driver,
22:36
Speaker 3: and he said no, he's in he's in the Bay Area.
22:40
Speaker 1: Uh.
22:41
Speaker 3: And I saw it and it was just like a
22:43
Speaker 3: just like a song. I saw the sign Danny as
22:46
Speaker 3: we got closer, and it took a long time because
22:49
Speaker 3: we're in bumper to bumper traffic. We're on we're going
22:51
Speaker 3: northbound on the four oh five. This thing's coming southbound
22:54
Speaker 3: on the four oh five. We're in the kind of
22:57
Speaker 3: the West LA area, right around the ten Freeway, a
23:01
Speaker 3: little south of that, so I think that's West.
23:03
Speaker 1: La and uh, where's driving?
23:06
Speaker 3: And then I saw on the on the wind shield
23:08
Speaker 3: there was a little white placard on the first bus
23:11
Speaker 3: and it had a star on it. And it wasn't
23:14
Speaker 3: just any star. It's not the star of David. It
23:17
Speaker 3: was not Captain America's iconic you know shield star when
23:21
Speaker 3: that this was the star, the iconic logo of America's team,
23:28
Speaker 3: the Dallas Cowboys.
23:31
Speaker 1: They were leaving Oxnard.
23:34
Speaker 3: They trained in southern California up and ox starred and
23:36
Speaker 3: they were headinging camp.
23:39
Speaker 1: Yeah.
23:39
Speaker 3: Yeah, they were heading to lax to fly back to
23:42
Speaker 3: Dallas for a meaningless exhibition game. And this was not
23:47
Speaker 3: meaningless though, this was a moment.
23:48
Speaker 1: Yea.
23:48
Speaker 3: Even my wife, who as you know, you've you've met
23:51
Speaker 3: my wife a few times over the years. Yeah, yeah,
23:54
Speaker 3: well that's just Na. She does not have the sports gene.
24:00
Speaker 3: She's lacking the sports team. And even she recognized the
24:04
Speaker 3: Cowboys logo. That's how big they are, right, the Cowboys.
24:08
Speaker 1: The Cowboys are beyond football, one of the biggest worldwide brands.
24:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's good there beyond football because they're
24:14
Speaker 3: really bad at football. They're pop culture. They're McDonald's, they're
24:18
Speaker 3: Nike there, you know, Costco, Taylor, Swift, Apple, all that stuff.
24:22
Speaker 3: Rolling the run and so I mean, well, care's your
24:25
Speaker 3: traffic there on the out side of fur. But for me, Danny,
24:27
Speaker 3: it hit differently, and I for a second I paused,
24:31
Speaker 3: and I'm like, you know how many hours I've spent
24:34
Speaker 3: how many years of my life barking into a microphone
24:38
Speaker 3: about the Dallas Cowboys, waxing poetic about Jerry Jones fun
24:43
Speaker 3: Zone Carnival in Jerry's world, and Dak Prescott's ceiling or
24:48
Speaker 3: lack thereof, or Micah Parsons chasing ghosts, and the endless
24:51
Speaker 3: soap opera that is the Dallas football team. And there
24:55
Speaker 3: they were, just a few feet away from me, surrounded
24:58
Speaker 3: by a concrete divider, and on those buses, surrounded by
25:02
Speaker 3: a fleet of police. Jerry's in there somewhere, Dak, Micah,
25:09
Speaker 3: Cede Lamb, the NEPO baby, Brian Schottenheimer. Frankly, you won't
25:14
Speaker 3: see a more gifted.
25:15
Speaker 1: Passer, That's right.
25:17
Speaker 3: And in many ways I was trying to circum size
25:20
Speaker 3: a mosquito, Danny, as I was thinking of all the
25:22
Speaker 3: cast of characters, Schottenheimer and all the rest there who
25:25
Speaker 3: I know will fill valuable talk radio real estate from
25:29
Speaker 3: now until the draft and beyond, Like ships passing in
25:32
Speaker 3: the smoggy La afternoon, Hayes there and right there, on
25:37
Speaker 3: one side, you had the Cowboys on the other side,
25:40
Speaker 3: just a struggling gas bag, and they were America's team,
25:44
Speaker 3: knowing that we'll meet again at the witching hour on
25:48
Speaker 3: the radio, and so in honor of Hulhauser, Danny, that
25:52
Speaker 3: was California's gold right there. Well, I guess it's Texas's gold.
25:55
Speaker 3: But still there was a weird, serendipitous moment. So on
26:01
Speaker 3: that we'll get out, Danny. We got the mail bag.
26:03
Speaker 3: The meet and greet is this afternoon, three o'clock till
26:05
Speaker 3: five o'clock.
26:06
Speaker 1: You should probably already know that.
26:08
Speaker 3: You should already know that, and you might be listening
26:09
Speaker 3: to this after the meet and greet. So I hope
26:12
Speaker 3: it went well. And if it didn't go well, we'll
26:13
Speaker 3: pretend it did go well. So we'll get out on that.
26:16
Speaker 3: That's what I'm doing today, Danny. Anything else you want
26:18
Speaker 3: to promote here, anything you'd like to say and celebrate
26:22
Speaker 3: on this college football Saturday.
26:25
Speaker 1: Last weekend was busy. This weekend, just gonna sit back
26:28
Speaker 1: and relax with some football, settle in just a little
26:32
Speaker 1: bit beautiful, all.
26:33
Speaker 3: Right, heavy, wonderful rest you Saturday. We thank you for
26:36
Speaker 3: coming out today to the Malor Meet and Greet. We
26:39
Speaker 3: thank you if you thought about coming out to the
26:40
Speaker 3: Mallor Meet and get but didn't show up, but either
26:42
Speaker 3: way we'll have great stories to tell. We got the
26:45
Speaker 3: mail bag for you tomorrow and we'll talk to you then.
26:48
Speaker 1: Have fun at the meet and greet. Asta Pasta by Bend,
26:52
Speaker 1: some chicken fingers, What buy me my Felicious