Latest / Making Miracles Happen Masterclass / Ep 1: Return to Devotion: Who Are You Afraid Will Abandon You If You're True to Yourself?

Transcript

Ep 1: Return to Devotion: Who Are You Afraid Will Abandon You If You're True to Yourself? · Making Miracles Happen Masterclass

• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Return to devotion with host Lisa Holt and Adrian Blackwell.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, the goal for today is we're gonna we're gonna feel something today.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: This is this is not one of those days where you just take notes and collect information inside of your mind.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: This is a day, and I have prepped all of the speakers with this understanding.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: We are not here just to take notes.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: You can take notes if you'd like, but that's not why we are here.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: We are here to feel into our bodies.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: Again, one of my dear people in my life, Adrienne Blackwell.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: Some of you may already know her.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: This woman right here is one of the few people in my life that can call me out.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: I said we might get uncomfortable today.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: So, Adrienne, introduce yourself, please, ma'am.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Adrienne Blackburn.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: I've known her for like 20-something odd years.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: So when she says that she is being truthful, I get to call her out because we've been doing it for a long time.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then I get to watch her growth and expansion, and it's so awesome to watch.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: So, Adrian, I'm gonna give a little bit of backstory because we have to give a little bit of context here.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Just a little bit.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: When I met Adrian, I was about to, I was preparing to go to a festival called Burning Man.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I was looking online.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: This was pre-Facebook.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: Tribe.net.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Tribe.net.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if anybody remembers something called Tribe.net, but Adrian answered some of my questions and uh helped me to feel calm about going to Bernie Man.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, ma'am, you did because I was not calm.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: The thought of being out in the middle of the desert with no running water uh was enough for me to feel stress under pressure.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: That makes sense.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: All I remember of that was that for whatever reason we offered because you were you would be you're behind us.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: So it's like when you make it over here, if you want to follow us up, you can.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: And you were like, Yeah, I'm gonna do that.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: I was trying to find regulation.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: How are we gonna meet?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: So, Adrian, take us, take us through what it means for you and the work that you do of staying calm and handling pressure well.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna finish the story first.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: So then she declined.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: She was like, I found somebody else to go with.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, okay, where are you going with your best self?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: I was hoping to meet you, but you know, that's that's what's gonna happen.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: And then um, we're at Burning Man, and we're literally, I think it was it was like the shaman, it was some kind of shaman healing thing because we were at the heebie g bee healers area, and I hear somebody call my name, and I'm like looking around, trying to figure out who it is because nobody's looking at me.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, when somebody calls your name, you look at them and you'd be like, Yeah, you, you know.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: So then I was like, okay, nobody's calling.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: Then I hear my name called again.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: I turn around and I look and she was like, Okay, I called your name.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like it was literally her.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's like 30,000 people, and she found me.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: She said, I called your name, but I wasn't sure if it was you because I only know your picture.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: And she was like, I looked away just in case it wasn't.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't even know she was really calling me.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, Who called my name?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: Ain't nobody paying attention looking at me.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: That was hilarious.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'll never forget that.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: So that's actually how we ended up meeting is in she found me in a group of 30 plus thousand people, which is amazing.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and and that that story is always dear to me because that that makes me feel like the universe has set us up to be here together for a reason for all these years, and and that's what brought me here today to share with you.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, the first thing I really wanted to talk about, I don't remember your question.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, I'm just gonna go off.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: But I was thinking about, you know, when she sent me this the email about what she wanted to talk about today, and it was about return to devotion and and regulating yourself.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: And for me, it was she said, How do you stay with yourself?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I had to sit with that because I was like, huh, where does she want to go with this?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: This is gonna be really interesting.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: And for me, it wasn't about how you stay with yourself, it's how have you not stayed with yourself?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: Can we recognize where you abandoned yourself, where you've left yourself?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: And for me, it's it's been in the the aspect of how have I not been devoted to myself?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: Why am I not devoted to myself?
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: And it starts bringing up some really interesting stuff.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how have I not learned how to be devoted to myself?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: Why would I continuously abandon myself?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_02: And it's because I want some approval from somebody, and that really stems from the idea that every human being on this planet wants to feel connected, and our first connections are a family, and so we will do anything we can.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: We will make agreements to not have better than what our parents have.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: We make agreements to not be true to ourselves, and we abandon ourselves every time we do it, but we're not abandoning ourselves at all because we're trying to get the thing that we want the most when we do it.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: And for me, that puts me in a catch-22 because I'm like my soul, who we are as people, we are we are pack animals.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_02: We are here to be connected, and we're trying to be connected to the people that may hurt us the most.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: We might be trying to stay connected to um a situation that says I can't be true to myself, but that doesn't mean you're necessarily abandoning yourself if you're trying to get what you want anyway, right?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: So it becomes really confusing because then you're like, well, what do I do?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: What do I do about this?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: This crazy aspect that I'm in, because I want to be connected to my mama, I want to be connected to my dad, I want to be connected to my family.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: But if I disconnect to be who I really am, then I'm not gonna have what I want.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: So am I willing, am I willing to disconnect from the thing that I want to go over there and try to get the thing that I think that I need?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: And that becomes a very scary question that a lot of us will ask ourselves until the day we die.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: My oldest client is in her 90s, and let me tell you, the question never stops.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: Who do I have to become to be a person who can disconnect from the thing that I want the most?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: And that could be scary.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like some of us will be like, it's not worth it.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: I'd rather stay connected to my family and not be authentic to who I am, because that's what I want the most.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: And you know that you that saying the grass is greener on the other side, you know, you try to convince yourself that that's just the same, but it's not, depending on what you're trying to go after.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: If you're looking for authenticity, if you're looking for self-discovery, if you're looking at how do you not abandon yourself, then you have to make some new decisions.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: And that new decision might be, I might need to find another soul family.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: Or I might have to be the way shower in my family.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: They're just gonna have to get on board and accept me anyway.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: Because we can make that decision for ourselves and it will heal the environment, it heals the family dynamic.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: But you have to be brave enough to say, I'm gonna make that choice because it may come at the risk of losing the people I love the most.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: It may come at the risk of releasing the fear, the worst fear that any human comes up against, which is abandonment.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm wondering how many of you are willing to face that fear.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: And listen, I know some of you are like, oh, I've already done that.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: But there's a deeper level.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: If you can, if you can ask this question of yourself until you're 90, 100 years old, believe me, there's layers to this.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: So what's the next layer you have to reach?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: Who are you afraid is gonna abandon you if you're there for yourself?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone willing to answer that question?
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_02: You can write it in chat.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: Supposed to I'm doing it over and over again.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know where I'm coming from.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_02: Who else?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_02: Who are you afraid is gonna abandon you if you're true to yourself?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: Your children, your husband, your wife, God.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's not always apparent.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we have to dig a little bit deeper.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: Somebody said, My husband, Don, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing that.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_02: That's somebody who's getting ready to do some deep healing right there.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_02: My daughter.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: Certain colleagues, my daughter, somebody else, my daughter.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_02: Siblings.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_02: So you're running the risk of being abandoned by the people you love the most if you're true to yourself.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: And then the question becomes if I'm true to myself and they do abandon me, am I gonna be happy?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_02: Is it worth it?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: How many of you think is worth the risk?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_02: And be honest, if it's no, it's no, if it's yes, it's yes.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: There is no right or wrong answer here, but where are you at with that?
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_02: Is it worth it?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: My fear of rejection from all others, and instead I reject myself.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think you're rejecting yourself by wanting to have connection.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: I think we reject ourselves by telling ourselves that we're rejecting ourselves by trying to stay connected.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: I think we just need to notice where we're coming from.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_02: I tell my healing students 60% of healing is awareness itself.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm asking you to become aware today.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: That is the healing.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: Are you willing to become aware that you're not abandoning yourself by asking for love?
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's only in the moment that you realize you haven't been abandoning yourself that you've been trying to take care of yourself that you're gonna stop doing the thing that you think is abandoning you in the first place.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I've been afraid.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: I've been wanting to connect to my family and have that connection and feel love for so long.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: And I've been doing it in one way, but I can change that way if I realize what I'm doing.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: Do I have to keep doing it that way?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'm just asking you to become aware.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: There's nothing wrong with wanting to be connected.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: It is fundamentally who you are on this planet.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_02: You're here to connect, you're here to love, and it can be really scary to leave a family that has given you your identity.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: But you abandon yourself when you convince yourself that you're abandoning yourself, when you're not honest about why you're doing what you're doing, when you have to lie about it, when you have to hide what you're doing, that would be more abandonment than anything, not making the choice to be connected.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: That's a version of self-love.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: And we have not learned how to love ourselves completely in the most positive way.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_02: So it may not be the best version of love that we have, but it's something, damn it.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_02: It's a start.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: We're doing the best we can.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_02: That is a version of love.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like you are abandoning yourself today if you cannot see that.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: If you can't witness where your healing has been this whole entire time, that you've been trying to do the best thing you possibly can do for yourself.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: That's abandonment.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: If you can't see that today, that's abandonment.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: You're abandoning yourself.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: But you've already been expressing self-love through connection.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm just gonna ask you to do more of it, but see if you can do it in different ways.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: Can I secretly live the life that I want for a little while, see how it feels, test it out, be who I really am, and then I can share it with folks if I want to.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: I could share it with people, and if they abandon me, they abandon me.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: If they don't, they don't.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because in reality, what you're doing with your life is none of nobody's business anyway.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: You can do whatever you want without the fear of anybody abandoning you unless whatever you do is out in the open.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_02: So sometimes we can take baby steps, and that's more self-love, that's more connecting to ourselves, that's staying with yourself, it's allowing yourself to grow because you want to grow.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: You want to expand.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: Am I right?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: So today I'm asking you to expand your awareness that maybe you've been right all along and you just need guidance to expand even further.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm giving you an opportunity not to abandon yourself.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm giving you an opportunity to see your truth.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm giving you an opportunity to say, damn it, I'm normal.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like everybody else.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: I just want love.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: And this is how I've been trying to get it.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: Then we can reassess and go, am I really getting the love that I want?
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: Does it feel the way I want it to feel?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: And if not, then I'm allowed to pursue that.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's how you stay with yourself, is you allow yourself to grow and you continue to grow.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I call devotion.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's when Lisa decided she wanted to go to Bernaman, even when she was afraid, and she allowed me to help her.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't have the solution for her.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: I just handed her some information and she did the rest because she showed up.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: That's why I know her now, because she showed up.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_02: She didn't abandon herself just because she was afraid.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm saying, where can you do the same thing?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: Where can you look at the fear and still show up, anyways?
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: Where can you ask yourself a really important question that takes you to the next level?
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_02: Simone says, What really hurt was abandoning myself to keep myself safe, to survive.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: Not to die being killed again, which never worked out no matter which life.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: Being true to myself, it is worth the risk to be hurt.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: What I want most is love is to love.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: So abandoning yourself to keep yourself safe does not sound correct.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_02: If you're keeping yourself safe, you're not abandoning yourself.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: What I'm saying is you've been doing everything right.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: But it's only in today and asking the question, do I want to go any further?
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: Are you gonna have a chance to abandon yourself or to be devoted to yourself?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: The devotion has been there because you've been running away from pain, because you don't want to feel pain.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: Who wants to feel pain?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: You've been trying to keep yourself safe.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: That to me is devotion.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_02: What I'm saying is that we can learn how to love ourselves more deeply, we can learn how to protect ourselves better than what we have been, and today is an opportunity to do that.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: We haven't learned how to do everything in necessarily the most proper way.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_02: We've been doing it kind of messed up a little bit, but we're still doing the best we can.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: We're not doing this because we want to abandon ourselves.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: We've been doing what we could because that's what we knew how to do.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just asking you if you want to take it further.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: How many of you want to take this further?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: I'm already constantly uh I already constantly hear that I am weird.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: I said that I prefer to be called unique.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: So I am trying to get her to accept.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: Stop trying to get her to accept you.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: What happens when you stop trying to get people to accept you and you just accept it yourself?
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: What if you accept that she won't accept you?
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: Can you tell me how that would make you feel?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_02: Simone says, I made my choice already.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_02: I am devoted to myself.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: I am going as far as possible.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I want to hear right there.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_02: Christina said, Oh yes, let's go, Adrian.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: Now Karina says it makes her feel guilty to not try to get her daughter to accept her anymore.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: That's going deep.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_02: These are the feelings we want to get into.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_02: Because then you can ask yourself, well, am I abandoning myself if I continue to feel guilt now that I'm aware that it's there?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_02: Am I abandoning myself if I don't heal this?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: And then how do you stay with yourself?
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: You breathe through it.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: You ask yourself the questions, you come up with the answers, and you breathe through it.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: We don't do it by running away from our emotions.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: We don't do it by pretending our emotions don't exist.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_02: She's going deep because she's allowing herself to feel the guilt.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: I feel guilty.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: The nice thing about after today is she doesn't have to sit in that guilt anymore because she was willing to be honest with herself.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_02: That's how you stay devoted to yourself.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_02: It's not always easy.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_02: Devotion never is.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_02: Kelly says, I don't feel like I fit in with my family and the few friends that I have.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: You don't feel like you fit in with the few friends that you have either.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: So it's time to find the questions that give you the answers about what to do next.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_02: I find myself alone a lot.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_02: So a new way for you to get devoted to yourself is finding your tribe.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: Finding your people.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_02: So you have to figure out what it is that you want so you can go after it.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because we all know you don't want to be alone.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, how many of you have kind of found energetically what you would like to change or shift or how you would like to expand?
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead and write in chat.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know, uh Karina wants to get rid of that guilt.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: Are you ready to get rid of that guilt?
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: Is that a trick question?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: How many of you really like I asked you a few questions, you know, you might have a few things you want to clear.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: Somebody said healthy boundaries.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I'm talking about.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: No trick question here.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: I am ready to accept that my dead mom's family will not accept who I am.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_02: Now that may not be true tomorrow, but I love that you're willing to accept it today because that's gonna make healing.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: A lot easier.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_02: Just write yes in chat if you you are clear on something you want to clear so that you don't have to abandon yourself today.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: We can actually expand instead of abandoning.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_02: We got a lot of yeses here.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: Cool.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: So what I'd like for you to do is if you're driving, do not do this.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: If you are in a good place where you can just close your eyes, I'd love for you to close your eyes.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_02: So I am an energy healer.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_02: That is what I do.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I'm a celebrity energy healer.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: I've worked with thousands of people, and I see miraculous things happen all the time.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: So I want to create a miracle for you today.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_02: That is my intention.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: No promises, just my intention.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: So I want you to get clear within your own spirit, within your own heart.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_02: Put your hand on your heart.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I want you to feel into that thing that you want to clear today.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: I do not wish to abandon myself in this way.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: Today I'm ready to expand beyond blank.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: What are you willing to expand beyond?
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: Beyond guilt, beyond fear, beyond your belief of what connection is, beyond your family being your own connection, beyond the fear that your children will not accept you, beyond the fear that your parents will not accept you, beyond the fear that you cannot accept yourself, beyond the fear that God can't accept you.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: I want you to feel into that fear.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: And that fear may shift into anger, it might shift into sadness, but I want you to feel into that fear.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: What does moving forward really mean for me?
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then I want you to identify what healing or what feeling you hate.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like what's the one you avoid the most?
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I can't stand being afraid, I can't stand anger, I can't stand guilt.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: What is it that you can't stand?
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: You just hate that emotion, you hate that feeling, you avoid it at all costs.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: Dig deep.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_03: Dig deep.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: Don't let your thoughts take you out of the feeling, just keep feeling, keep your hand on your heart.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: Declaring shame, blame, fear, resentment, and shame.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: Just let it go.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: Don't hold on to it too tightly.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_02: Just see it, feel it.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: And as you notice these feelings, we're just transmuting the energy.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_02: If you feel it, you can heal it.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_02: And there's nothing that says you have to feel it for the next year.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: You can feel it for five seconds and we'll just go ahead and heal it.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, you want to clear sensitivity, guilt, sadness?
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_02: That lets my immediate family down.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_02: Good.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_02: I leave myself and disappear.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, I'm gonna ask you to ask yourself a really important question.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: Keep your eyes closed.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: Feel into this first thing that comes to your mind.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: Who do you have to forgive for this to clear right now?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_02: And forgiveness does not say that whatever somebody did to you is okay.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's simply I do not want to continue to punish myself to make you feel like crap for what you did to me.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_02: Who do you need to forgive today for this to heal permanently?
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_03: Good.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_03: Keep filling into that, keep filling into that.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_02: Just forgive how you feel.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: Forgive everything you've been holding on to.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_02: Around that person, that situation, that circumstance.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_02: There we go.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: I can feel that calm washing over.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_02: And just take a deep breath and just let it go.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: Whatever work you've done here today is permanent.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: Forgiveness is a choice, it's instant.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: You just made a choice to stop suffering.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: Congratulations, you're devoted to yourself.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: You're sticking with yourself no matter how hard the emotions got us.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_02: What emotion do you hate?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_02: And y'all kept typing.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_02: It was awesome.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: Take another deep breath as we just ground that energy.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: This is the kind of healing work I do that brings a lot of physical ailments to completion.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's a good job today.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's not always easy to go into your emotions, but it's really awesome.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_02: Oh snap, Adrian, you did it again.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what I did, but thank you.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm glad you're feeling it.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so glad you're feeling it.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: I told you guys Adrian will call you out.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: You're ready for this.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: You have to be hold yourself accountable.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: Adrian, thank you so much.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um you have a free gift.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: And if you can just tell the peeps what your free gift is, I'll be like you a link for a free gift.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_02: You did.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_02: I was in the flow.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't even think about the free gift, but I guarantee if you sign up for it, you're gonna get more healing.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_02: So sign up for it.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_02: You want it.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: So it'll be in the follow-up email.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: Just so you all know.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: I chose to not worry about it during the moment.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: So it'll be in the follow-up email.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: Patriot, thank you so much.