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Nicks Got A Need For Speeding! · Nick and Kristen in the Podcast

• 0:10
  Hello and welcome to Nick and Kristen in the podcast.
• 0:13
  We are Nick and Kristen. We have been married for now 10
• 0:15
  years, together for 16 and we have a daughter and A7 and her
• 0:19
  name is Lily. That's going to come up
• 0:21
  occasionally. Thank you for listening.
• 0:23
  I don't know how you found us, but keep finding us.
• 0:25
  We appreciate it. Also, I think I'm going to have
• 0:27
  to cut my hair. Yeah.
• 0:28
  OK, so I got my hair cut or I'm going to get my hair cut today.
• 0:32
  So I'm like very excited about that.
• 0:34
  And you said you were going to grow out your hair as long as
• 0:37
  you were unemployed. My unemployment hair and we're
• 0:41
  approaching month 2. Yeah, with like no real
• 0:44
  prospects insight. So at that at this point, like
• 0:48
  don't you just cut it? I think I'm deterring now people
• 0:52
  where it's like if I I don't look well put together at this
• 0:56
  point. Yeah.
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  I think this looks fine. It's.
• 0:59
  Just long. It's getting dishevelled and
• 1:01
  like it does whatever it wants. And so like, I came home from
• 1:03
  the store today and it was just like, I don't know what's
• 1:06
  happening. So in the morning, it's
• 1:08
  definitely like, whoa. Yeah, it's like.
• 1:11
  Yeah, but now it looks OK. Well, I.
• 1:13
  Sort of. I gummed it a little bit.
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  So I think I'm gonna have to cut my hair, unfortunately.
• 1:17
  Yeah. Just to one feel better.
• 1:20
  Yeah. About myself.
• 1:20
  You're a lot like. And then if I do have to appear
• 1:24
  in public, I've got a couple weddings coming up and things
• 1:27
  like that. That's true.
• 1:28
  I think I have to look presentable to Zoe.
• 1:32
  If you listen to the podcast, I'm coming.
• 1:34
  I'll call you. Yeah.
• 1:35
  Can we get a discounted rate? Zoe, if you get a haircut today,
• 1:39
  I'll pay you tomorrow, right? Yeah.
• 1:41
  So some things we want to talk about today is there's a new
• 1:44
  speed trap by our house. And I want to get information
• 1:47
  from people that know and like comment if you're a cop or or
• 1:52
  you got to tell. US.
• 1:53
  If you want to reveal anything, Kristen's client is following
• 1:56
  her on TikTok and she's kind of paranoid about it.
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  And then her mission, Kristen's mission for the summer is to
• 2:02
  make Lily's summer the best summer ever by teaching her new
• 2:07
  skills and exposing her to the outdoors.
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  So we'll get into all that. But first we were I was driving
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  home today from the store and they put up one of those little
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  speed monitors that show the speed that you're.
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  Driving like you're driving this speed and this is like 45 and
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  then if it goes over, it starts flashing red and blue lights and
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  it's like slow down. Do those do anything other than
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  make me paranoid? Because I've seen those?
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  They're on your app on my Apple Maps or whatever.
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  It shows you where there are speed lights or speed.
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  Well, like red light camera. Well, they have red light
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  cameras and now they have speed cameras.
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  They do. Have speed cameras now.
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  And which is like, come on man, just let me speed.
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  I won't run any red lights. Just let me go fast.
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  And now they have those so I don't know if these are
• 2:52
  attached. Is there a cop usually sitting
• 2:54
  by or is? This just like my thought is
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  like, OK, yeah, this the information is out there, but in
• 3:01
  a in 20 feet around the corner, is there going to be a squad car
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  going, Hey, did you listen? Did you?
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  Did the sign do anything for you?
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  Yeah, and with AI and technology now, it could 100% just be
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  sending the signal to someone. Then there's A and there's a
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  camera on it you don't even know.
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  Exactly what the cops want, man. They're messing.
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  Everything. They're messing with my brain
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  and so I usually speed past them anyway.
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  I'm like, whatever, those lights are pretty and.
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  Like oh can I make them flash brighter I.
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  Was like what happens if I go twice and speed limit but at the
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  same time I go there's probably a cop sitting nearby that's
• 3:37
  making. Me they're and they're banking
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  on that. That's 100% what they're banking
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  on. They put these, they put these
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  signs up in high traffic areas or high speed areas to, to make
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  you paranoid. And there's no, there's no squad
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  car. It's not feeding anything
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  through AI to the department. It's simply to make you
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  paranoid. And then when they remove it to
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  put it in a different area, you're always going to be a
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  little bit paranoid and like your thing was like, I'm
• 4:02
  unemployed. I'm not able to bowl as much as
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  I want. I can barely get a a haircut
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  when I want to. Don't take away this one street
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  where I speed on it. And you were like, don't take
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  this away from me, man. It's the perfect St. to speed.
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  Up it is. Great.
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  It's there's no lights at night, which I'm sure is dangerous, but
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  there's also no houses nearby there.
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  Everything's walled off and it's a straight shot.
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  Like if I was a speed racer like this is where, or like a street
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  racer, this is where I would street race because it's flat,
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  it's straight, it's new pavement.
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  Like it's a, it's a perfect. Place it's not super popular so
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  like yeah. It's always.
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  Like you and like one other car maybe on the road like it's
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  lovely. It is.
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  And then the the early springtime, the cherry trees
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  line it. It's just gorgeous.
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  It's great, It's beautiful. I want to roll my window now and
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  then. I want to feel 60 mile per hour
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  winds go by me. Yeah.
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  And so yeah, don't take this for me.
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  I I need this in my life. This is 1 little patch of speed.
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  I can just rage speed. Poor Nick.
• 4:58
  So you are on TikTok as a therapist and as Nick and
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  Kristen, if you don't follow us on TikTok, please go do that.
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  We could use all the followers we can get.
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  It's at NK mornings on pretty much all the things.
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  So find us there. See little clips from the show,
• 5:11
  a little updates about our life, but you can also follow Kristen.
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  What is your therapy? It's at Kristen Flowers MFT.
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  So MFT means marriage and family therapist in the kind of therapy
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  world. OK.
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  And it started as, like, a therapy account.
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  Yeah. You wanted a base because we
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  have this radio thing. Well, we have this radio thing.
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  We have us, yes. And you wanted your own
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  separate. Thing I wanted a separate thing
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  for like this separate part of my life, which is therapy.
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  And I was like sharing things and it wasn't really like going
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  super well. And then like I shared some
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  stuff and like people got mad at me.
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  I got some negative, I got some negative feedback on some of the
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  stuff I was sending. And so that kind of like made me
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  feel awful. So I stopped for a really long
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  time. And then I realized like I
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  should just be treating it as like Kristen's TikTok account.
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  So I was posting like silly little skit things that I was
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  doing or like things that were grinding my gears that had
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  nothing to do with therapy and like talking about my life.
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  And then like I started going, oh, I have therapy things to say
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  again. And I've learned a lot about
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  like what I, what is appropriate?
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  Not, not that I was sharing anything inappropriate or
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  unethical, but I was just like, you know, whatever.
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  What people, what you can share without getting people all riled
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  up because the thing that you said was accurate and true, but
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  it makes those people that were doing those things.
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  Mad there was essentially this is what it was.
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  I was talking about calling CPS and I didn't like there was no
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  client information, but I was just saying how hard it is for
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  therapists to do that because we know we're jeopardizing the
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  relationship with that we have with our client that they may
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  never come back, but that ethically like we have to do
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  this, especially if we feel like abuse is an issue.
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  And I got so much blowback from people going how like you ruined
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  this persons life. Yeah, the.
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  People don't like you calling CPS.
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  Reporting you to the to the authorities and stuff.
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  And I got it got me really nervous and scared.
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  Yeah, like. What are they gonna do?
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  They can't report you like they're the reporting the people
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  that are violating these things. Don't don't abuse your kids.
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  Yeah, and I'm sorry that you get to beat your or you beat your
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  kids and you don't want anybody calling you, right?
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  Yeah, so that's, I know I didn't do anything wrong, but like the
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  sharing it on an online program like it upset people.
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  So regardless, took some time away.
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  Yeah, you're not there to to be unhappy.
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  No, you want to have fun on. I want to have fun on social
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  media. So I started sharing a little
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  bit more of like my personal life and stuff like that.
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  And I saw a client the other day and they, they when I went to
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  get them from the lobby, they went like for the people just
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  kind of listening. They made like a pity face at
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  me. I was like, hey, and they go,
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  how are you? And I go, what's up?
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  And they go, oh, we saw that you had surgery and they said, I saw
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  that you had surgery. And I went, oh, did I tell you
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  that I had gallbladder surgery? And they said, no, you said that
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  you had to cancel our session because you weren't feeling
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  well. And they said, so we went on, we
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  went to on your TikTok because we follow you and that's where
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  we saw you had gallbladder surgery.
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  And it made me feel like, Oh my gosh, should I not be doing this
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  anymore? Well.
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  You're not supposed, well, I don't even know if you're not
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  supposed to, but you're as a therapist, you don't share
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  information about yourself. We don't disclose.
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  Not for paranoia reasons, but because like, it's about the
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  client. It's about them, and it's not
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  about me. This isn't my session.
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  This is about them. Right.
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  Like I put my clinician hat on and I go, how can we help you?
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  This hour is about you. Yeah.
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  So like, them knowing anything about my life feels weird
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  because how would that even come up in the context?
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  Yeah, like I don't wear my wedding ring on my wedding
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  finger. So like, a lot of people don't
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  even know that I'm married. And you've only had one person
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  that listened to the show? Right.
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  There was one person that was like, are you on the radio?
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  And I was like, oh, yeah. And and then that like spawns,
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  like, do you have questions about what I do?
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  Do you think that will influence our work here together?
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  And like, a lot of times it was like, no, no, no, it's fine.
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  But like having this kind of TikTok account where it's me
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  very like personal, like sharing therapy things, but then also
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  like sharing like my life. I'm not sharing anything I
• 9:02
  wouldn't want everybody to know. Yeah, it's nothing crazy, but
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  it's it's they're giving you, they have more access to you
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  than people that don't. Follow TikTok.
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  And then also it's like, well, is that my problem?
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  Like they don't have to follow me.
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  It's true. Yeah.
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  So it's it's a weird discussion. I don't know how I feel.
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  So if you have thoughts about this comment, because I've seen
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  people say if I saw my therapist on TikTok, I would cancel.
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  I would never go back to them. Yeah, you were saying that you.
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  A lot of people are saying they want their therapist to be like
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  pretend they're robot yes, and turn off when they leave the
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  room and turn back on when. They they don't want to
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  acknowledge that you're a person outside of the walls, which is
• 9:37
  fair, like they don't want to see you out in public.
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  They don't want to know you have a family.
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  They don't want to know anything about you because they're.
• 9:43
  Dumping all this drama, they're being vulnerable and if they if
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  they thought that you were a person, you could share it, you
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  know, like. Not only that, but that I have
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  thoughts and opinions that are my own right?
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  And like I, I'm very non judgmental, especially as a
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  clinician, but also as a person. But like I wouldn't do that.
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  I don't judge anybody or anything like that.
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  But like I am human and I have a life and I feel like, OK, this
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  is how I want to parent my kid and stuff.
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  And so people get weird about that.
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  So like, if you saw your therapist on TikTok, I'm just
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  curious how you would respond, if you could leave some comments
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  and kind of let me know because it is kind of something I'm
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  going OK, Like, do I want to keep doing this?
• 10:22
  It's true. Yeah.
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  If I saw mine, I'd be shocked because I don't have one.
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  I'm like, oh, that's weird. The only therapist I see is you.
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  I know it's true. That's all you need.
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  Right. You just tell me how I'm
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  supposed to think and then I'll feel better.
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  But aside from that, you want to make this summer as we are
• 10:39
  approaching it. We're about a month away from
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  Lily, getting out of first grade, going to 2nd grade, which
• 10:44
  is crazy. Her last day of first grade.
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  Yeah, she's growing up so fast and you want to make it the best
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  summer ever despite us being very unemployed.
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  But you want to do outdoor stuff.
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  Yes, my whole world changed the other day.
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  A week ago, I or two weeks ago, I took Lily on this hike and
• 11:05
  it's around this lake. And so she got to see this
• 11:08
  beautiful lake. It's this very beautiful path.
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  It's this kind of lovely experience.
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  And then afterwards, she took her shoes and socks off and she
• 11:14
  kind of waded into the lake and like splashed.
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  And I've never seen this kid smile so much the entire way.
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  She was just having a ball because there were so many
• 11:23
  lovely things to see and experience and birds to hear.
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  And she was looking at flowers. She had her notebook, she was
• 11:29
  drawing the flowers she saw she was writing descriptions of
• 11:32
  things and then putting her her toes in the water at the end.
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  She was just like the happiest kid I've ever seen.
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  And it just hit me. I was like, this kid doesn't
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  need anything but like the outdoors.
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  And like, we'd spend a lot of time outdoors with her, like
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  where she goes to parks all the time.
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  She's always outdoors, but like, exposing her to new things out
• 11:50
  outside. And so it's hit me that it's
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  like, you know what? We don't have a lot of money
• 11:54
  this summer. We are going on vacation, which
• 11:57
  is like a whole new thing. But that was before we found out
• 11:59
  we were getting like. That's already paid for.
• 12:01
  So we're going, I know, but it's like we should be taking her to
• 12:06
  the coast, even if it's just for a day, to go look for seashells
• 12:10
  and stick her toes in the water. I want to do rock.
• 12:14
  Hunting. Like there's tons of agates in
• 12:17
  the Pacific Northwest, like just walking up and down the the
• 12:20
  shore of the Columbian River, like where we just look for
• 12:23
  shiny stones. Like she would love that.
• 12:27
  And that would be like a whole fun day.
• 12:29
  We have never been to Tillamook to look at the cheese.
• 12:32
  Factory. It's a day's trip away.
• 12:34
  It's like a couple hour drive, but then you go, you look at how
• 12:37
  they make the cheese or the whatever and then you have, they
• 12:40
  have a whole thing. You can get a burger and you can
• 12:42
  get ice cream 'cause they make ice cream there.
• 12:44
  And then you drive back and I understand gas is really super
• 12:47
  expensive right now. So like there's the cost and all
• 12:49
  that, but it's like there's all these hikes in the area that are
• 12:53
  a day's drive. There's the ape caves that I
• 12:56
  wanted to go to where she can go kind of explore and take a
• 12:59
  flashlight and look through the caves, yeah.
• 13:01
  I mean, we should. I don't like the outdoors.
• 13:03
  I know you. Don't but I'm it's growing on me
• 13:07
  like as I, I mean as long as there's not just like it's just
• 13:10
  like a lot of bugs, you know what I mean?
• 13:12
  Like if you can, Usually if there's a path I'm okay with the
• 13:16
  path. Like I did almost get attacked
• 13:17
  by that giant bug the last time, but other than that it's fine.
• 13:21
  I know, but I don't want you complaining.
• 13:23
  The whole time. Cuz then you ruin it for
• 13:25
  everybody. I'm not gonna complain as long
• 13:27
  as I get to bring my camera and she can draw her things.
• 13:30
  I'll look for birds. We'll all do our own little
• 13:32
  thing and that's fine. And I'll just complain that it's
• 13:35
  hot and then the heels are high. But I mean but like.
• 13:38
  Fine, I'll stop complaining. I'll just keep it to.
• 13:39
  Myself, just keep it to yourself, right?
• 13:41
  I'll. Make a note.
• 13:41
  This whole idea of like, I just need to get it out.
• 13:43
  That's called complaining like that's called being unhappy and
• 13:46
  making sure everybody around you know about it.
• 13:48
  She's. Going to write.
• 13:49
  It down and like, I just want her to go back at the end of or
• 13:52
  at the beginning of first grade or beginning of 2nd grade, my
• 13:56
  gosh, beginning of 2nd grade and then be like, what did you do
• 13:58
  this summer? And her just being like, you
• 14:01
  know, sun kissed and like tired from all this, like, oh, we went
• 14:05
  here, we did this. We we saw this, we looked for
• 14:07
  rocks, we looked for shells. We went, we went on vacation
• 14:10
  like we had we had a burger and saw a bunch of cows.
• 14:13
  We saw like, I just wanted to see stuff.
• 14:16
  Yeah, I think, I think that's fair because we've got nothing
• 14:18
  else to do. We don't have anything else.
• 14:20
  And we're in which she's got like 3 camps that she's going
• 14:22
  to, but that's three weeks out of three months and so.
• 14:25
  We need something else to do with this kid.
• 14:27
  We're. Gonna have a lot of time to
• 14:28
  kill, yes. So yeah, I think that's, I think
• 14:30
  that's a good idea. I will try to complain less and
• 14:35
  if I begin to complain, point it out.
• 14:39
  Yes, because then you will not be invited the next day.
• 14:41
  No, just say it while I'm doing it and be like, hey, you're
• 14:43
  starting to get a little bitchy and I go, OK.
• 14:47
  All right, let's see how this. Goes acknowledge this, that this
• 14:50
  is a thing I'm. Working.
• 14:51
  I'm sure he'll take that with all the grace that it's
• 14:53
  intended. It depends if it's hot and.
• 14:55
  It's hot, Kristen. What?
• 14:56
  I can't say it's hot. I can't say there's bugs.
• 15:01
  I already know how this is going.
• 15:02
  To go Oh well, if I'm already hot and irritated and hungry,
• 15:04
  then yes, don't. I'll bring extra snacks for you.
• 15:07
  Poke the fat, sweaty bear. Kristen, thank you for watching.
• 15:11
  Don't forget to like and subscribe for new episodes every
• 15:13
  weekday. Have a good weekend and we'll
• 15:15
  talk to you next week.