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Chuck Melendi - What If Success Is Simply Letting Your Kids Become Themselves - · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm Ryder.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: And this is my dad show.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everybody, it's Casey J.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Cox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to season seven.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Can't wait for this season as there's a lot of great guests ahead.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's a podcast where we we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the guests keep on getting better.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And shout out to the one only Steve Gardy, the author of Great Fruit, for making this next guest happen.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: He might go by Fireball Chuck.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if he knows that I know that.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm going to stick that one in to set the tone.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: He he's a bull or a gator, I'm not sure, but he also spent years, everybody, in the wide world of healthcare.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Some think it's great, some think it's crazy.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this again, this episode's not to try to convince, but the episode is to try to find out why Chuck Melendi is working hard to become an ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I will I will say one of the reasons I'm most excited to talk to him is you might remember everybody a few seasons ago, I openly shared a journey with uh my wife, who was impacted by the COVID vaccine.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I know if I said that years ago, it would have been like, what?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: You you're one of those crazies.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, no, everybody, I signed up for it.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: We both signed up for it, and my wife's life was screwed for about two years.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: So uh I'm excited to just learn from him.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we're gonna learn more about the disruptive dialogue um podcast and how he's working hard on that.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: But more importantly, we're gonna learn about Chuck the Dad.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: So without that, without further ado, Mr.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Malendi, welcome to the quarterback dadcast.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_04: Casey, thanks so much for having me and uh appreciate the kind words.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_04: Uh yeah, I do a podcast called Disruptive Dialogue with Chuck Melendi.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_04: And really and truly, I used forward Johnson Johnson for a quarter century, uh, negotiated with drug plans, worked on legislation, and decided to leave and start a podcast and newsletter so that I could help people understand the crazy healthcare system we have in the US and how they can work with it and maybe change it.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_04: But I think today we're more focused on being a dad and raising kids, and and I'm excited about that because while I love uh healthcare and have a passion for it, it doesn't even touch the passion I have for my kids, my wife, my family, and just being a good person.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Love it, man.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, um, were you surprised I knew what Fireball Chuck was?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_04: No, not if you know Gardy.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I'm a huge college football fan, and and we would make trips, uh, a bunch of Florida Gators down up to Baton Rouge for LSU.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_04: And um just to make sure we were fully lubricated for games, I would bring a handle of fireball, and everybody had to take a shot.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_04: So um, you know, I it's as they say, uh, you know, I would grow a little bit taller and get a little bit louder, but all in good fun and have a blast.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_04: So yes, it's um I'm I am known as Fireball Chuck.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: So good.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um okay.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we always start out each episode gratitude, Chuck.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, I'm gonna thank you because uh both my daughters today are in Guatemala, in different parts of Guatemala doing different things.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_04: And I did reach out to them and just said, hey, I'm gonna be on a dad cast uh talking about what we did with y'all in raising you and and the affirmation that they give um as far as what we did to help raise them as strong, independent uh ladies, um, that really and truly skies the limit.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um just the things they said when I asked for feedback, both positive and negative, what could we have done better?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_04: You know, how did we impact you?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_04: It um it was beautiful.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, it's um I talk to my girls all the time, but just to hear them give affirmation to what you know, what was our life work for you know the 23 to 28 years, um, it was beautiful.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_04: So thank you.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oh so cool, man.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm excited to learn more about that journey.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I tell you what I'm what I'm grateful for today um is I think just constant communication with my kids.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't feel it's not forced.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's I think my son's obviously a little bit more, he's obviously got a couple years older than my daughter.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: He's 20, almost 20.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um my daughter's 17, she's in high school, dealing with a big ACL injury right now.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: So we're really focused on a lot of daily communication.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: But like um I was texting with my son last night, he called us, he told us the one of the most funniest dreams like I've ever heard in my entire life.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: He told me he literally had a dream that he was got he doesn't play hockey, he loves hockey, as do I, but we both don't know how to play.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: But he um his best one of his best buddies is in the junior kind of program, like trying to get to college and see how far I can go.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: He lives in Wyoming right now.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: And a writer, my son, had a dream that he got called up to Wyoming.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: They needed a winger, and he's like, God, I got the call.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is sweet.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: He gets up there and comes digging.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: The coach is like, Hey, I need you behind the net.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And Ryder's like, I don't know, I'm not a goalie, what the hell?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so he rider gives up five goals in the first, eight in the second.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_03: And then he hires That's his dream, huh?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Then he hires my buddies, so his buddies, his dad is one of my best friends.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: He hires Steve, his dad, to coach him.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And he goes, This thing just goes on, and I'm just like laughing.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I literally responded back.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: I go, Did you try shrooms for the first time?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's the only thing I could.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's like he goes, No, I didn't, Dad.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I go, This dream was so freaking good.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then he ends up uh learning how to play, learning how to skate.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: He they end up playing Penn State in the national championship, and they win the national championship.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_04: Now, this is the dream.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is the dream still.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_04: So that's a a really uh detail-oriented dream, and that's a long dream and to remember it.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_04: Like I don't know, you may have to blood test them.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: I dude, I laughed so freaking hard last night.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I can't I can't wait to talk to my buddy uh about because he was he was on the tech string too, but we haven't we haven't talked about it yet, but so cool.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so you're an empty nester.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, sir.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: So bring me inside the Melendi huddle, you know, talk about the the core family and also how you met your wife.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_04: Ah, okay.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_04: So uh I'm very blessed from a large Latin family.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_04: Um, mom and dad were married for over 50 some odd years, had three sisters, um, met my wife.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_04: We've been married for coming up on 32 years.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_04: And I saw her when I was a senior in college.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_04: She was a freshman, thought she was gorgeous.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_04: She was dating a fraternity brother, so I I she was off limits.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_04: And then, like five years later, I'm I'm just out at a jazz concert in Tampa, and I see her, and I said, Hey, to a couple of friends, I know y'all know her, we got to introduce, and I was just, you know, relentless.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a I'm a salesman at heart, and so it was nonstop.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_04: And, you know, we just got married, had two girls three years apart.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_04: They're now 28 and 25.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_04: And um it's been a journey, it's been uh it's been one heck of a ride, but it's beautiful.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_04: We're we're we're we're very good friends with our kids.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_04: We talk all the time.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and um I just feel like I'm extremely blessed.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: So cool.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And what's and what's keeping your daughters busy these days?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: What uh tell me what they're up to.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_04: So the oldest one, um, she is kind of what we're doing now.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_04: She is a YouTuber, content creator.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um, she has traveled internationally.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_04: She's probably got, I don't know, 350 to 400,000 followers on Instagram and probably like, I don't know, 40 or 50,000 on YouTube.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_04: She has sponsorships.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_04: She last year she traveled Vietnam, solo female traveler on a motorcycle going across Vietnam, caught E.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_04: coli.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_04: It was insane.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_04: She came home.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_04: Um, she's now in Guatemala, and she just went to this small village in Guatemala that they do like yoga.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_04: They're they're well known like internationally as far as creating yogis and meditation.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_04: And then um, I never remembered this thing.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_04: It's this the thing Aaron Rodgers did where they cleanse yourself a Alaska or some crazy thing with visions and all that.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_04: So uh I joke with her that she's my hippie, and um, so she's uh yeah, she she's doing that.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um and well, she and actually this summer her and my daughter and two of my nephews did the Colorado Trail.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_04: So 500 miles, five-week hike, you know, carrying everything on their back.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_04: And my daughter did a documentary of it and actually got picked up by a film festival.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_04: So we're gonna watch that in March, which is yeah, I'm super proud of her.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and then my little one, she uh graduated two years from college, uh two years ago in college.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_04: She's an ex um D1 athlete.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_04: She was a trainer, a personal trainer, and did bartending uh the last two years, saved up her money.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_04: She's now also in Guatemala, but not where my daughter is.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_04: She's immersing herself in learning Spanish and she's solo traveling, and she's like, you know what?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I did club soccer and then I did D1, and they I had all my schedules.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_04: They make they did everything for me.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_04: My executive skills suck, and I need to learn how to survive on my own.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm like, good, go figure it out.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_04: And so she's on a bus right now, going somewhere, and uh they're living the dream.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_04: I love it, it's cool.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now, have you guys gone down to visit them yet in Guatemala?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_04: Oh god, no.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I told my daughter that next year I want to go to the village, I want to do that crazy thing she did.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and she's all over that.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_04: But no, they're they're doing their thing.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_04: My oldest is gonna fly into town to to watch her film when it shows.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_04: Um, my little one, she's gone for two, three months, and then we'll all meet back up in you know, Tampa or North Carolina.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, we usually do not travel them with them when they're doing that kind of stuff.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_04: Uh we'll have our family vacations, but um Guatemala, not on my high list right now, so they can go over there and do that stuff.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: There you go.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, can we can we tag your your daughter who's who's got all these YouTube followers to help kind of promote a little bit?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_04: Sure, sure.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_04: Her her her uh whatever, her um tag or whatever is Crosby Grace Travels.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Crosby Grace Travels, everybody.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Go check her out and follow her travels.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, be inspired.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_04: As my generation says, I don't know how they make money, but she does.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_04: So as long as I don't have to pay for them and they're making money and paying for their insurance and cell phone, I'm good.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe she can maybe she can teach me how to make money on the podcast because it's this is just an investment.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, but I actually I feel like this is like this is me paying for therapy because I I get therapy out of every episode I talk to dads, which is uh, I know sometimes maybe think I'm joking, but I'm actually dead serious.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: It is like I hope that by having these conversations that I can inspire other dads that you don't need a podcast to be able to talk about what you're feeling and what you're maybe struggling with, and and just to kind of mentally work on your inner game because uh we like to exercise a lot, but we don't like to inner size.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's a very undervalued skill.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I think what you're doing is amazing, um, especially for men.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_04: We we're not good communicators.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I actually had a Bible study this morning and we talked about that where you know you hope you have someone or multiple people that when you really are hitting rock bottom or you're having a major issue, you can talk to them and not worry about like your ego or being embarrassed and just open up because we all need that.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, one of the things that and it's funny you said that this is kind of therapy for you.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, when I used to run like marathons and stuff, I had a buddy and we kind of were our own psychotherapists with each run.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_04: But one of the things I was gonna say to you today is as we talk through this, and I know you're like what you do and how'd you raise them and your philosophy, yeah, not everyone's gonna agree with how I raise my kids or you raise yours.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_04: We all have different opinions.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_04: It doesn't mean I'm right, it means that's how I did it, and it was the best I could do with the tools that I had.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_04: And and hopefully you adjust and you're humble enough to realize you're sometimes make a mistake, sometimes you don't, but your intent, as long as it's good, you know, you gotta live with it.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: So right.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the one one thing I learned on this episode is like um this up these this podcast journey was you know, like when you when you want to become a doctor, you gotta pass a test.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: When you want to go to driver's license, you gotta pass a test.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: You want to become a pilot, you gotta pass a test.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: To become a dad, you just have to have sex.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, you're qualified.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome aboard.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Which is not it does not seem like a right way to do things, everybody.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_04: I love that you said that.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_04: Now I've never used that line that all you have to do is have sex, but I love it.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_04: But I I I with one of my screaming matches, and yes, I you listened to a uh episode with my daughter, and we were fairly raw.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, and I admit, you know, I I screened up my kids and then I went and saw a therapist after that.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_04: That's a story in itself.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_04: But I I was like, I didn't get an owner's manual when you came.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_04: This is my first time doing this.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_04: Cut me some slack.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know what I'm doing.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, and it's just real.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_04: It's real.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_04: So there's no no books that can walk you through this.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we're gonna, I want to get into that episode uh in a in a second, but before I do that, I always like having my guests kind of just slow down and and walk me through what was life like growing up for you and talk about the impact that mom and dad had on you now that you're a dad.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_04: Well, first off, Casey, thank you for this opportunity.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_04: Um I was asked a long time ago, what's the thing you're most proud of?
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_04: And the thing I was most proud of always was my family.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, very fortunate and blessed.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, was raised in a middle class home, four kids, one car, one bedroom, one bathroom with uh a son and three sisters.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_04: It was hilarious, but um just love and laughter.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_04: We didn't know that what everybody else had because back then we only had three channels on the TV, so you had no clue.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um, my dad was my best friend, was the best man of my wedding.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, we did everything together.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_04: My mom was a stay-at-home mom.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_04: She was amazing, super strong lady.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_04: Um, she'd mow the yard.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_04: She, you know, we'd be outside playing.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_04: She didn't want all the kids to come inside.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_04: She'd tell us to drink out of a hose.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_04: Um, it was a house with tons of love, um, a lot of accountability.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_04: Um, yes, sir, no, sir, treat ladies with respect.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_04: Um it really was.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_04: I had four boy cousins lived across the street.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_04: It it, if you said, you know, what's the perfect childhood, I had it.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_04: And and I'm humble enough to know that I'm very, very lucky that that's what I had.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_04: Um, everything I have and everything I do is is based and grounded in my mom and dad and how they raised us.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: So mom was stay at home.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me what dad did for a living.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, very interesting.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_04: He he worked at a medical center.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so down in Tampa, Florida, it's called University of South Florida, uh, USF Bulls.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, he was the um basically the a VP, but he was the CFO there, and was there for over 30 years and helped um with the the first dean of the school, helped to get the medical school started back in 1965.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_04: And uh yeah, he just was a grinder, man.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_04: He had two weeks off vacation every year.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_04: It was a big deal.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_04: We drive 45 minutes to St.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_04: Pete Beach.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_04: That was our big vacation.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_04: And um, I mean, to give you an idea, my mom didn't fly in a plane until she was 48 years old.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_04: And and um, yeah, they just had a beautiful life.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_04: Um, dad passed, unfortunately, about eight years ago.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, mom's still here, and she's spunky and she's wonderful, and we're blessed to still have her.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: How old is mom, if if you don't want me asking?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: 85.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: 85, good for her.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm sorry to hear about your dad.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: I lost my dad December 29th, 2021.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, hard to believe sometimes he's he's gone.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: And my dad had I learned a lot about our healthcare system with him because he had he had everything you could imagine.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: He had um let's see, bipolar, kidney failure, congestive heart failure, um diabetic, back issues.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, rapsheet.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it was he was we I didn't really know a lot of stuff until my parents got divorced in after after college and so forth.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Pretty much for about 20 well, I don't know, 23 years.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: My wife and I took care of him mentally, most emotionally, physically.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: And um that was an absolute grind.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but I don't you know, at times there was times where I was like, oh my god, I can't believe I'm having to do this.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: But then my wife stepped up massively, you know, the whole to death to your part, sickness and health.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: My wife signed up for all that and never blinked.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but like, you know, I got a picture of him right here, and everybody at home you can't you can't see it, but this is a this is a picture of me and him, Mike senior in college playing playing football.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is at Southern Oregon University, where ironically or serendipitously, dipitously, my son plays golf.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: So like that that that picture is where um my my son he lives like right across the street from that picture, so it's kind of kind of cool to have him on my desk.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: But um, so I heard I heard well you what you were you you had me yet manners and values, but you also had me at you drank water out of the hose.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you who shout out to all the dads who knows who that's like because it had that little metallic taste, but you knew you couldn't go inside because you're too dirty.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah, oh yeah.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I mean, you gotta remember, man, we had literally my dad had had two brothers, and they all we all live within a block of each other.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_04: So there could be 10 kids, just our family, that's not other neighborhood kids.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_04: And everybody would come to our house, and my mom was just like, You're tracking in mud.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_04: She would lock the doors, and we would want to go inside, and she'd be like, Absolutely not.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_04: And we're like, We're thirsty.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_04: Drink out of the hose.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_04: It was it was classic, you know.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_04: But then we grew up where you they would say, Look, you can go wherever you want, just be home by dark.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, we don't let that happen anymore to some degree.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but yeah, I mean, I've got three sisters, they're all still married, first marriage, they all have kids.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_04: We all stay really close together.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_04: Um, it's it's very, very rare what we have.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_04: And um, yeah, just uh very cool.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_04: But yeah, it was fun growing up, man.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_04: We had we had just a blast and it wasn't fancy, didn't have the fancy cars, you know.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_04: We had a little ranch house, you know, uh, I don't know, 1800 square feet.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_04: And um, our living room, you'll love this.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_04: Our living room, everybody loved it.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_04: It basically, my mom and my sister would go around with that's when they had those big custom-made vans, hilarious, back in the 70s and 80s, and they would go to the carpet um stores and go to the back and pull carpet out of the dumpsters.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_04: And then there wasn't like food and junk in there, but there's the carpet scratch they throw.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_04: And we would cut them up in like two feet by six inches and and did like little checkerboard across it.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_04: And it was the coolest little rug and carpet, and everybody loved it.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_04: And it was it was like psychedelic colors, it was hilarious, but that's all we knew.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_04: We thought it was cool, no big deal.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: I love it, man.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, getting creative using using using skills and doing technology for.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, tell me the like as you think about stories that implement that really, I guess, cemented the the values that were important to you that you would use into to fatherhood, if you can think of one that maybe whether it's around manners or values or hard work, work, or anything else, being honest.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm curious.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me what comes to mind when I ask you that.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, with me with my kids or me growing up?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: You growing up.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_04: You're digging into me now.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_04: Um I'll tell you, probably a fairly momentous one was um, so remember uh Dr.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_04: K Dwight Gooden?
• 20:57
  unknown: Yeah.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_04: So we played against him when I was 12 years old.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_04: Oh wow.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, we had a great baseball team.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_04: Uh 12-year-old kids, and we had like the the team of the century or the decade with our team.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_04: And uh, we had some really good players, guys who played in college and all that kind of stuff.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_04: And I was a second baseman, and um we played against White Good and he just destroyed us.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_04: It was hilarious.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_04: He I I think I think we had we were proud if we got a foul ball off that guy.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_04: He hit a home run and he struck almost everybody out.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_04: But our team was stacked, and I I think of our starting, how many guys got starting on a baseball team?
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_04: 11, uh three, nine.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I think six of our nine made all stars, and I was not one of them.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_04: And um, and it was brutal.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_04: And I basically was crushed.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_04: And because I I I was I was a decent ball player.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_04: And um my dad, and he was traveling a little bit, he wrote a a letter, which I still have to this day, and I've actually given it to my kids.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_04: And basically he's like, you know, this is one of many disappointments you will have in life.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_04: It doesn't define you, it doesn't say who you are.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_04: It determines, it does determine who you're going to be.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, and it was a beautiful letter.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_04: And then he just sat down and and he and it was a really interesting conversation because you know he had always raised me to be very humble and not to brag.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_04: And he said, one thing I want you to do is you need to like pull back on that a little bit.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, what are you talking about?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_04: And he's like, when I'm in the stands after a game, he goes, You could have gone three for four.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_04: And everybody's talking about how good they did.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_04: He goes, but you'll say, you'll talk about the one time you didn't get a hit versus the three times you did.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_04: He goes, and you're always putting yourself down.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_04: He goes, and and that's not humility.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_04: And and so, you know, it it was, it was just a it was just a life lesson.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_04: It was more so the letter to me and and the resiliency.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_04: I almost made all stars every year after that, but it was just he took the time to write a page and a half letter, handwritten.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_04: It wasn't typical anymore.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_04: They didn't have computers back then, obviously.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_04: And and just really was a life lesson that made me stronger and better.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_04: And but it was devastating at the time.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's just uh you're you're making me think of a story where one of the only few times I got cut by a sport was eighth grade baseball.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: No, seventh grade baseball.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it was that they was like they would take five seventh graders, put them on this eighth grade team.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: And we had a seventh, eighth, ninth grade junior high, but it was like a big deal if you made the var the JV team because they cut tons of kids, and and there were six of us that had a second tryout for, and only one of us was gonna get cut.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember like in warm-ups, I was asking some of these kids, I was like, Oh, you think you're gonna make?
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, Yeah, I'm gonna make it.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, You think you're gonna make it?
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and for some reason I didn't, I was like, Oh, I'm gonna make it.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: Just a little lack of belief, which is why the sign behind me, you can't, everybody can't see if there's a believe sign behind, just to remind you to believe, believe what you do matters.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things I uh I I I remember is when I got cut, I I went to use this back in the days where you'd have uh, you know, they put your names up on the the locker room, you have to go find your name.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, God, I wonder if they use invisible inks.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not seeing my names.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of weird.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then I go again, I'm like, shit, I got cut, you gotta be kidding me.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember I had to go out and face the music and tell my tell my mom, and she never once said, What?
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, Well, hey, you tried your best, and you know what?
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: At least you got a few hours after school now to go play with your buddies and have a great time.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it was not even a big deal, but like my dad did the same thing, and I don't I like I'm so grateful for that because they could have easily freaking ripped me a new one, like made me feel shitty, got this, this, you know, but they didn't.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so I don't know.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think too often the times as it relates to like our our mental well-being and sports or business or that is our identity, and it's not.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I've been I was I was lucky to I put quarterback in college, I was a very successful seller in corporate America.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: That ended.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: That company didn't go out of business, life moved on, and so it just it further reminds me like what what drives me, that's what I try to work on my clients and even people I talked to on the podcast, is just what are your values that drive you?
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, it's like being the most curious, vulnerable, humble version of myself, always.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's really interesting because um as you say that with like well, how my dad responded to me, but how your mom responded to you.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: What I see so often how parents live into their kids.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_05: Oh yeah.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_02: And they're like, Whoa, that's unacceptable.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_02: You need to go push back, you need to do this, you need to do that.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, one of the things my my girls have always said like, yeah, you've always said, This is your life.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm here to support you.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: And and what you need to do and what you make you happy, this is not about me.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: And and I think it's great that your mom gave you that perspective.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, because it's it's just so unusual.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: So good.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think that's a perfect transition where uh hey, we got we got dogs in the background.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: I got dogs in the background.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's good, you know what that makes me feel better, Chuck, because I have I have a golden retriever and a um a golden retriever puppy and a golden retriever ivory setter that like literally when I'm recording podcasts, it's like they want to do WWF in the background.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: Hey guys, why don't we why don't we chill out?
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: But shout out what's the dog's name?
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: Let's give her hit here.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: She's some mojo.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: Mojo.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out to Mojo.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out to Mojo.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: Getting a squeak on in the background.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I want to transition because I think it's a good thing to talk about in how we help kids in our in every day and age with um our our mental health.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: And everybody, I I want to I'm gonna link this in the show notes.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: Chuck, before I recorded, um, this is called the serendipity because normally I wouldn't have time to do this before I record, but I did today.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: I listened to an episode um that Chuck and his his daughter Crosby, where they he he interviewed her.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think we're both girls on.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_02: No, just Crosby.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't tell if their voice changed, but it was just Crosby.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: And they it was the most raw, authentic, honest, genuine conversation uh between a father and a daughter.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, I mean, it encouraged me to go up and and just double check.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm my right, everything's good with Riley and her ACL injury, and and you know, she's we're in the heart of playoffs right now when this episode comes out.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, when it comes out, it'll playoffs be over, but like it's she lost her thing that identity.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: It was basketball is everything.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: She's gonna go play in college still, but like it's she can't play now, and she's in her bed, she just can't she can't put weight on her ACL for six weeks.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it is a it is a freaking non-stop headlock right now, she's going through, but she's handling.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, I'm gonna double check.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so um, maybe I'd love for you to can't just talk a little bit about um what prompted you to want to do that, and then just a story about it, because I think it can hopefully help a a mom or dad at home listening.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_04: And and and and I will say, you know, you know, and it's up to you, Casey, but maybe have your daughter listen to it.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_04: Um, because you know, I I think one of and my daughters, when I asked them um earlier today, I'm like, you know, what are some things that we did that you think helped you?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_04: And and one of the things was they're like, you listen.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_04: You you are my you're my dad, but you know, we're evolving into also being friends as they get older, they're in their 20s.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_04: But they say, you've always listened to us.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_04: You may not agree with us, but you were there and and you took us seriously.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, you may disagree with what we said, um, but you didn't roll your eyes, you didn't cut us off.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_04: You you gave us the time.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_04: And I've heard you say on other episodes, you know, I was in the moment um before we knew what was being in the moment.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_04: You know, that's just how I was raised.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but you know, look, uh at the end of the day, um, I've been in the health field for a long time, and mental health is like my passion.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_04: Um, my wife and I are on boards for mental health, community mental health centers in the Bay Area.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and and so, you know, it is it's the epidemic of our generation.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_04: Um, it it has no, it does not discriminate who it hits.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_04: And a lot of it is just in your gene pool.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_04: And uh, I used to laugh that, you know, you can't swim out of the gene pool.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_04: It is what it is.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_04: Um, my dad had depression, his dad had depression.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_04: I I'm not I don't have depression, but I have a little bit of anxiety.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um my kids, they've gone through their things.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I I think most kids, whether you know it or not, are gonna go through some form of anxiety, especially with um social media and everything that's going on with the pressures.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_04: But I was having uh I had a two two-part episode with my CEO uh who runs the mental health center that we um have in Tampa.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_04: And so I was like, you know what?
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_04: I was talking to my daughter one day, and and she gave a great analysis.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_04: She's like, Dad, what I don't understand is people they sprained their ankle or they hurt their knee and they go to the rehab and they have physical therapy.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_04: She goes, but someone has a breakdown or someone's having a hard time or they're stressed out.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_04: Where do they go?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_04: And why are they ashamed to go to a therapist and it's weak?
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_04: And I said, Well, it's a stigma.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, I said, baby, we I said, you go watch the movie uh One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_04: That's what we grew up with.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_04: We're like literally they're gonna give you a lobotomy, or they're that's how they're gonna fix you, cut up out of your brain, or put you in an institution.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_04: That's that's a lot of how the older people grew up.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_04: She's like, You're kidding me.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, no, we've evolved quite a bit.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_04: So we just had, like you said, you know, I said, I would love to have you on the podcast because people need to hear your generation and what y'all are going through and your perspective.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_04: And she just, you know, like like I she shared what it was like growing up in the the age of social media coming to fruition.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_04: And I was able to share what it was like trying to parent through that same thing, where at first you thought, oh my God, this is so cool.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_04: You get to see what people are doing, we can connect.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_04: And then you realize, oh, there's a dark side.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_04: And and it's really um it's challenging.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, I told her beforehand, I'm like, how raw do you want to get?
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_04: And she's like, whatever you want.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_04: And as you know, and hopefully, I don't know, is this PG?
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_04: Can I say what we can do?
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can drop enough bomb is all you want.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_04: There you go.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_04: And I said, Well, I'm like, you know, if we're being real here, when you were a sophomore in high school, I called you, you are such a fucking bitch.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_04: And this is, and and and she's like, I don't like you either.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_04: And we were like yelling at each other, and my wife and my younger daughter running off trying to get away from us because we're we're like the loud ones in the house.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_04: And um so she went upstairs and I looked at my wife and I'm like, what is wrong with me?
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_04: How can I call my daughter that and be like that?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_04: So I, as I said on the podcast, I went, made an appointment with a therapist, went to this therapist.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_04: He was great.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_04: I told him everything.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_04: He says, You're a great dad, and there's nothing wrong with you.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_04: And these things happen.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_04: It just came out of your mouth.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sure it goes through most people's minds.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_04: And um and and I said, I go, well, what do I need to do?
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_04: He goes, You don't need to come back here.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna give you a book.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_04: And so he had me get a book called Yes, Your Teen is Crazy, and it's written by Michael Bradley.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_04: I have probably sent it to over three dozen people, literally as recent as two weeks ago, because it doesn't change.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_04: And what it basically does is it gives you perspective that teenagers really and truly, we used to think that their brains had formed by the time they were seven.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_04: That was ridiculous.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_04: They're, I think it's their final lobe where they're executive functioning and being able to rationalize.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_04: That is not fully formed till they're like in their early 20s.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_04: So they are clinically insane.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_04: And what the book says is, would you yell at a crazy person?
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_04: Of course not, of course not.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_04: And so I'm like, okay, there you go.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_04: And then my wife and I, I got two copies, we both read it, and we would lay in bed laughing.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but also gives you perspective of like real families with real issues.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_04: And so, in classic form, my daughter, not long after that, saw it on my nightstand, and she comes down all indignant and waves it at me and goes, How dare there's a book that you're reading?
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, your teens are crazy.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_04: There should be one that says, Yes, your parents are crazy.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, as a matter of fact, there is, and I'm ordering it for you right now.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_04: So, like a month later, I said, Did you read it?
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_04: She's like, No.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_04: And we laugh about that to this day.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_04: And it was, it is hilarious.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_04: But yeah, uh, but yeah, I mean, it was just look, man, the the one thing, and you know this because you've you've interviewed hundreds of dads, none of us have all the answers.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_04: We do the best we can, and you know, it's all about intent and love and and and you know realizing that you don't have all the answers and just do the best you can and and try to learn and listen.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I spot on, brother.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think the one thing you also said in that episode that really hit home for me that I'm one of the it's about a three-letter word that I'm really passionate about on keeping checked.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, everybody, I'm talking about your ego.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: And you're right, Chuck.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: There's no manual, but doesn't mean we have all the answers.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: And and I think like Brene Brown talks about, Phil Jackson talked about, Nelson Mandela talked about, John Wooden talked about.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now I have nothing in common with them, but I taught I've been talking about vulnerability for years because I believe it's such a gift, it is such a gift to strength.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: And one of my mentors, age 41, he said, Casey, it's okay not to know, but it's not okay not to do anything about it.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I've shared that message.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out to you, John Kaplan, for like just sharing it with people.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: And because our ego gets in the way, and I think we can, as dads or moms, whoever's listening, teach our kids to say, Hey, you know what, it's it's okay to say you don't know.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's where no one's perfect.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: I've even as the most successful people in life, they still are effed up, they still have flaws.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: Don't but I think the the type of people that I want to surround my life are, yeah, if you're successful, awesome.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not, you can still try to be a better version of you.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I don't know, I just think that you did you guys did a good job of keeping ego checked.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: And also that episode taught me a lot, showed me a lot about how curious you are.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because even curious today, like you you didn't have to call your daughters to say, hey, I'm gonna do this.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: What do you guys think?
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: How did I do as a dad?
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like the fact that you wanted to learn that, I think is kudos to you, and um, just for being present, and you're probably daughters um even appreciated that more about you.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I will I will return their gratitude to you, man.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_04: Well, well, thank you.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, you were in the corporate world and I had sales teams, and I used to tell people all the time there's so much power and humility.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_04: Anyone who's humbled, that that means they have the self-confidence to admit they don't know it all.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_04: It's the ones that don't have the humility that they mean, they're covering up some stuff.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_04: So it's all good.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_04: It's all good.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everyone, my name is Blaise Basel, and I hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: In case you're wondering, I'm a fellow dad and also the president of Kelly Mitchell.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: Kelly Mitchell is an employee-owned technology solutions firm, and we help organizations solve complex business challenges.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: I think at the end of the day, we're we're focused on our team doing work that matters for our clients.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: And that's because the way you show up matters, the way you treat people, clients, teammates, really everyone.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: That shapes the experience and the results that follow.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: I think similarly, Casey has had a real impact on our team internally at Kelly Mitchell.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: He spent time with us most recently in St.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_01: Louis with our sales team.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: And while he was there, he asked a question that really stuck with me.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: And that was do you believe that what you do matters?
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: That question stayed with us.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's changed how we approach our day-to-day, how we prepare, how we communicate, and ultimately how we follow through.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's why the experience Casey brings to his customers has made such an impact.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because whether when people believe their work matters, everything works better across the team, with our clients, and definitely in results.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: So we appreciate you, Casey.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: And now back to the podcast.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: What as you raised your daughters, what were um what were you and your wife's like the like I would say call picket two or three values that were like, hey, if we could, if we could teach these things to the girls, that would be that'd be a home run for us.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_04: Um, my wife and I talk about this all the time, but I asked my girls this, and and the first thing that came to them was that from when they were little, we told them you can do anything you want.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_04: The Olympics, you want to be an Olympian, you can be an Olympian.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_04: You want to run a business, you can do that.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_04: You know, it's it's all it's all a matter of what you want and how bad you want it.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_04: Um, doesn't mean you're gonna get there.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_04: They've told me that when they were a young, they felt like it was pressure, but they also feel like as they got older it was in their hard wiring, and they felt like they could do anything.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, you you you said something that was interesting to me about some people successful.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_04: And I used to always challenge my daughter, I'm like, what do you think is success?
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_04: It's not always business.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_04: Is it is it someone who wants to?
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, look, uh Jay and Jay, God bless them.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, great company, and they wanted me because I live in Europe for two years, I came back, they wanted me to move to headquarters.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, nah.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_04: And like, what are you talking about?
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_04: You just five spots for you.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I don't want that grind.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I I need too many high-level execs, and they were all divorced and having trouble with their kids, kids are on board.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_04: Like, that's not what I consider a success.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_04: That's great, you know, that's what you want, but that's that is not defined success for me.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um so I think telling it just instilling in them the belief that the world's wide open and you can do anything you want and do not be limited by what society says, what society expects.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, and and there's countless memories, as you well know, uh, or excuse me, stories of people who've overcome everything.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_04: And the other thing that, you know, is interesting.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_04: I grew up in a Latin household, you know, where the guy opens the door for the lady and all that kind of stuff, which we should still do.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_04: But I wanted to raise my girls to be independent.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_04: They didn't have to depend on anyone.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_04: And and that was instilled with them.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_04: They they had they I let them play co-ed sports.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_04: We let them, you know, uh it's funny.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_04: We down in Florida, we have we have boats.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_04: And so I told my girls, I said, here, I got a 17-foot boat.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_04: You're gonna learn how to do everything.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_04: So they learn how to put it on the hitch, they learn how to back up the trailer into the water, take it off, get it started, clean it, clean the engine, put it back on the trailer, drive around.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_04: And they go out with friends in their late teens and 20s, and the guides were blown away.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_04: They're like, Well, who's taking us?
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, me.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, the confidence that instills, not just in a girl, but in a guy, in anybody, you know.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_04: But um my wife and I I'd go to the gym, I'd take my girls with me.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_04: We'd go lift weights together, we work out together, we jog together.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_04: You know, it I did not want them to think that being a man or a woman limited or gave you access to something that the other side didn't have.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_04: And so my wife and I were totally aligned on that.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_04: And then I think the last thing that I would say is we wanted them to know that we were always there and always supported them.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um, we may not agree with what they were gonna do.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_04: We may not, you know, think it was the best thing.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_04: We'd give them our opinion, and but then we'd be like, you're gonna have to learn.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_04: So, you know, hard to do with the right thing to do.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_04: It's really hard to do.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_04: When my daughter first started, I mean, during COVID, my kids went before this, before they my daughter started doing the international stuff, they both we we had a Jeep Wrangler, we outfitted it into like a sprinter van, and they both took off uh and to live in the the Jeep going across country during COVID, uh, the mountains and all this kind of stuff.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_04: And I the only thing I required was my daughter and you know, people, sorry, um, we're not a big gun family, but I told my daughter, if you're going to do this, you need to you need to have a handgun, you need to have a permit, you need to learn how to use, you need to do all these things.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_04: That's the only thing I'm gonna ask you to do.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, um, and so they did.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_04: And she's like, Dad, I never liked guns, but if everybody got trained like this and they they got their license and they they did all the right training, I think that's the right thing to do.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, yeah.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_04: So, you know, it they um, you know, people say, How can you let them go do that?
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, they're in their 20s.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_04: If I tell them no, they're gonna do it even more.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_04: So you have to trust them.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_04: It's their life.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_04: Let them let them live their life and and be there if they need it.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_04: That's that's what we try.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's smart, man.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's uh these are not easy things to do that you're and I'm sure that was it probably gave you some anxiety saying yes and letting go, but letting you know when you said the story about being independent, like my daughter um can back our boat down, not back her, but she didn't back the window, but she drives a boat, she can trailer it.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um my son's kind of like me, not as handy.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't we both it doesn't like our passion?
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_00: Our passion is to go play golf or watch sports, like and we both can check our ego and make fun of ourselves that hey, the girls are probably more handy than us.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: Who cares?
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly, it doesn't matter.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, so I'm not gonna be on freaking Home Depot's, you know, YouTube channel.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_00: Who gives a shit?
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_03: I agree a thousand percent.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_00: I said this story recently to on an episode, uh, so it's probably hasn't really come out yet.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_00: But like my so where I'm looking past the computer check, I can see our stairs.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so my daughter, again, like I mentioned, she can't put any weight on her left knee yet, left foot at all.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I was trying to go help her up the stairs and you know, just being a supportive dad.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_00: And my and my wife's like, hey, can I give you some advice?
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, Yeah, I go, don't steal her independence, she can do it by herself.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_00: I almost was almost like mad, like, what yeah, what are you talking?
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: You like, I'm gonna call it CPS on you.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you know, being smart ass.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm like, when I looked at it, now when she goes up the stairs, she puts a crutch through her right arm, she holds on to the actually her left arm, she holds on the to the railing, her right arm crutch goes up there, and she just figures it out.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: And she's totally independent.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_00: And like, so why would I steal that from her?
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's do I want to help her?
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_00: Would it be easier and faster possibly?
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: Probably Yeah.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_00: She's learning these skills.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like it's I don't know.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's important.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: And as I as I get older, I'm trying to just make sure that before the kids are fully out of the house, are they independent?
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_00: Have we done everything we can?
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_00: Have I done something?
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's not the right thing if I can help them out.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know, go find a friend who is more handy than you and be friends with those kids.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you never know.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, like none of us have none of us have the formula.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_04: There's no and and the problem, the thing is, Casey, and you know this, we're all different.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, all our kids need different things.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_04: And what works for one kid is not gonna work for another.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_04: Um, as I always tell my friends, I'm like, look, man, if they ask my my advice, I'm like, this is my opinion.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_04: Doesn't mean that it's right, everyone is different.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but yeah, you know, yeah, we're it's it's I I will tell you one thing I have, I I do, you know, one last thing I think is really important is everybody these days seems to be in a rush.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_04: And what I try to teach my kids and and my wife, um, you know, she's supportive as well, and she says the same thing.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_04: It's like, what you got a long life ahead of you.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_04: So there is no rush.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_04: You know, don't look at society, don't think you have to fit and do a certain thing.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_04: What success is is different for every person.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, both of them are in their mid-20s now, neither one of them are in a serious relationship.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, and that's by chance or by design, I have no idea.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_04: But, you know, I've told both of them, I'm like, look, who you are today is not who you're gonna be in your 30s or in your 40s.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I think this is a good time for you to be independent and learn who you are and explore that so that when you do meet that right person, you know, you you've developed yourself as an individual and not as a part of someone else or with someone else.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_04: Now, if they had met someone when they're 18 or 19, then that's a different path.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_04: And we're gonna support them on that.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_04: But, you know, just like I told my my um my 25-year-old, she's like, Dad, what should I do when she got out of college?
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_04: And I said, baby, I've had a good life, but when I got out of college, my dad said, uh, you need to go get a job and you need to make some money and you know, get out of the house as soon as possible.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_04: And and I told her, I'm like, the only regret, one of the few regrets I have in my life is I wish I would not have jumped straight into a career right out of school.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_04: I said, I got buddies who traveled Europe.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_04: I have buddies who traveled across the country and they did odd jobs and they did this and they did that.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_04: I said, if it was me, I'd go get a bartending job and I'd do something else and I would travel and I would see the world because the day will come when you have a full-time job, when you have a partner, when you have kids, when you are going to be in your house, and that's gonna be a beautiful time.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but this time right now, when you're out of school and you're independent, go make some money and be adventurous.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_04: And that's what they're doing.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_04: So, and I don't, and I'll I'll finish with I don't know if it's right.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_04: It could be completely wrong, but it's working for them.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_04: They're happy, so that's what's important right now.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's the measurement of success that I think we all as dads and parents can strive for.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_00: Not what we want them to do, what do they want to do, and keep them happy.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that is such a powerful reminder that we all as parents can continue to get better at.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um before we wrap up, I want I want to make sure we make people uh aware of disruptive dialogue.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think what you're doing is um, I think really, really cool.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think it, I think it's it's needed for uh like you have a lot of inside knowledge that probably a lot of us don't know.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_00: And without taking us too far off the rails, I'd love just maybe high level, like tease them a little bit.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_00: How can they learn more about what you're doing?
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe even before that, talk about what was the driver for why you wanted to start this business, this podcast.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_04: Well, thank you.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_04: Um well, I mean, quite honestly, um, anyone who's in the healthcare industry knows how messed it up it is, and and it's really and truly it's about making money for quite a few of the large companies that run the healthcare industry.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_04: I was, I don't know, two years ago, I was at a conference, it was a mental health conference, and a speaker got up there, and he was a like a 29-year-old kid, and he basically was talking a story.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_04: He was the keynote speaker about how he was trying to find himself, traveling across Canada, got a phone call from his mom in the middle of the night, and she told him that his best friend growing up died all of a sudden.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_04: He didn't say how, but that he was dead.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_04: And he's like, I sat on the hotel room floor for five hours, just going, he's gone, and that's it, and I'll never see him again.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_04: And so he the story was he just made a list of a hundred things he wanted to accomplish before he died.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_04: But the thing that stuck with me was tomorrow is not promised.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_04: So if there's something you're super passionate about and nothing major is holding you back, do it.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_04: And so I walked out, I called my financial planner, and I said, Hey, David, can I leave two years earlier than I had planned?
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_04: And he goes, Yeah, you can do that.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_04: So then I called my wife and I go, honey, can I leave two years earlier?
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_04: And then playing.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_04: She goes, Well, did you talk to Dave?
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_04: I go talk to Dave.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_04: What do you say?
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, she goes, Okay, then you can.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_04: And so um, I just wanted to get out there and have a platform that informed not non-employer C-suites, not healthcare executive, but the general public on our healthcare system and why it's so expensive and why it's so difficult and confusing and complex.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, I'm blessed that my wife is brilliant and she runs my newsletter, my website, she does all this kind of stuff, social media, and we're a team and we're we haven't killed each other.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_04: We're actually having fun doing it, which is cool.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but that's what it does.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_04: I I bring on healthcare executives, people who have left insurance companies, physicians, patients, um, about their journey, best practices of what to do when you turn 65.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_04: Should you go Medicare, Medicare Advantage?
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_04: If you're an independent person under 65, what should you do looking at the AC marketplace?
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, what's a premium, what's an out-of-pocket max, what are the pitfalls, what are things you should look for?
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_04: And and just really and truly try to help people understand.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_04: And then I give out the Washington, DC switchboard on every call and say, you can be mad and do all this stuff, but if you don't make a call, if you don't reach out to your legislators, nothing's gonna happen.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_04: So here's the phone number.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_04: Call them right now and tell them, fix it.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_04: And and so that's my passion.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I'm not sponsored by anybody.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_04: I don't want to be looked at as like I'm, you know, someone's telling me what to do.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_04: This is my pain forward of a blessed life that if I can make a difference in helping people with healthcare and make it more affordable, that's what I'm gonna do.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_00: So uh I'll tell you, as an entrepreneur, so I I was a corporate guy for 22 years, and healthcare was just one of those things you got, and everybody got it.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's sure, I mean, I didn't worry about how expensive it was.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: I just it was just one of those things.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now you enter the entrepreneurial world.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now I I get this thing called the marketplace.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm I'm paying out the wazoo monthly.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's asinine.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, I mean, like$2,500 a month.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's crazy.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when my wife had her, her, her, I didn't even know if I didn't even know you could have a vaccine injury.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know that was the thing until and we actually a doctor said that was how she finally got diagnosed.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, well, now again, everybody, if you're listening, like, oh, I'm not a I'm not one of those hardcore, like, oh, F the vaccines, I'm not.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_00: But my my eyes were opened now that were they're not perfect.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um and then I sp we spent thousands of dollars and and doctors and my wife is one of the most mentally tough people I know.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_00: The first few months, oh, she's probably just depressed, she's probably just got anxiety.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_00: No, she doesn't just have chest pains, guys.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't, her legs aren't she's having seizures, she's having pot syndrome.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_00: She's um her heart rate just walking goes from normal to like 120.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_00: How is that normal?
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_04: That's crazy.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_04: That's crazy.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_00: We saw cardiologists, nothing.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, over time, then finally the spot called spike protein, I think is what they say, it kind of like worked itself out of her system.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I mean, it was a joke, an absolute joke.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so now I'm now seeing the negative effects.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was I'm I'm intrigued to kind of follow your work and just, you know, if there's things that I can do or we can do to help our kids that have to have the same issues we've gone through, um, or figure out ways that as people who own their own businesses don't have to spend asinine amounts of money each month, I want a game to learn about that.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope that again, like one of the things you talked about with Crosby was empathy.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think we all got to have empathy for each other, and just because we might not agree, because it's usually by I think you're naive or you're uneducated, be a little empathetic for people.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like get curious, ask a few more questions, say, um what?
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I bet he's not making that up.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry you went through that.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_00: And like when you and Crosby talked about, like once through, and even you went through it, is like you if you try to convince and and argue with people, they're gonna get more frustrated with you versus just listen.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know?
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_00: So now you hit you hit a hit a hot button here, ask this question.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_04: It's so true.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_04: And and you know, look, you know, my company made a vaccine also, and and and you and I talked about this beforehand.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_04: Look, the vaccines are like any other drug, there's side effects, there's adverse events.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_04: It was rushed to market, but it was being demanded and people needed it, and people were scared.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, I'm not defending it.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_04: A lot of people took it, and I think it probably saved some lives, but a lot of people took it, and I know someone else who took it, and they had a major reaction as well.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_04: Um, there's risk and benefits to anything we put in our body.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_04: Um and I I don't believe that anything nefarious was behind it, but it is what it is, and and it sucks, and sometimes it happens.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_04: But offline, call me, and I think I can help you navigate the healthcare a little bit.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but that's what I do.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_04: And and I'm actually gonna write a book that'll come out probably in about the next six months on how I think we can fix healthcare and how to pay for it.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_04: Um it's not as hard as everyone thinks.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_04: The the ideas, the hard part is getting our government officials to actually do it when you have companies making hundreds of billions of dollars throwing money at them.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_04: So um it's gonna take American, the American people and businesses to really push back to fix this.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_04: And it and it'll get fixed.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_04: I I do believe that.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_04: So things are starting to happen, but it's cool.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_04: It sucks right now.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_04: Look at you, you pay twelve over two thousand bucks a month.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_04: That's bro.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_04: I lived in the Netherlands, I didn't pay a freaking dime.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_04: My daughter broke a leg and go into the ER.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_04: They took care of it.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_04: You know, it's it's we have we have systems in place that can easily fix this.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_04: Money is stopping that.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but we'll get there.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, another thing that drives me nuts.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna throw my insurance under the bus, but like the number of times we've asked them like to not send us the paper copies of the insurance, like we just send us an email so we can get on the wet log.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_00: And they keep saying, Oh, we can't, that the system they so we literally they waste so much money sending us these frickin' receipts, whatever statements, and we rip them up thrown away.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you're wasting your time and your money.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, sorry, that's what we gotta do.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you guys are idiots.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_00: Whoever's idea is is idiots.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_04: So do you know that a lot of doctors' offices still fax orders to insurance companies, fax machines.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_04: And and they want it, people talk about drug prices must more expensive than anywhere else in the world.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_04: Guess what?
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_04: Hospitals more expensive here than anywhere else in the world, physicians are more expensive here than everywhere else in the world, and more than anything, administrative costs, which is because the insurance companies are more expensive.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_04: And by the way, you don't have to trash the insurance companies.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_04: I'll do it.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_04: Just hop on my podcast, and you hear me having to bash them all the time.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_04: All the time.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_04: They deserve it too.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_00: Where can people find you and learn more about your work?
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so I'm on LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube, my wife's got me on everything, Spotify, you name it.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_04: It's disruptive dialogue with Chuck Malendi.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, there's a lot of there's a lot of podcasts out there.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_04: I think there's a lot of people doing a lot of good work.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, I don't have all the answers, um, but you know, I'm real.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_04: And um I, you know, reach out if you want to hear or learn something.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_04: I'll be honest with you.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_04: What I'm what I'm trying to do, Casey, is is healthcare.
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_04: What you're doing, I think, is amazing is getting dads to come on here and talk about quite honestly what's really important.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_04: Healthcare will fix it eventually.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_04: But families and and kids and you know, have live having a living legacy to our children with how we raise them and and what we show them.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_04: Um, that's incredible.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_04: So God bless what you're doing.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_04: I think it's awesome.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, ma'am.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's fun.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_00: My goal is to get to a thousand dads.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I've interviewed 300 and close to 350.
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think episode we're we're we're recording today.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's uh February 24th, everybody.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_00: This episode will come out in a few weeks.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_00: But it's a it's a passion, and I love, I love doing it.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the the thing I love most about it, whether you're a healthcare executive, whether you're a stay-at-home dad, whether you drive a bus, whether you're a barista, whether you're Mike Holmgren of the Seattle former Seattle Seahawks who joined me, nothing, none of that matters because we all have the same job.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_00: It says dad on a resume, and it says dad on our job title.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_00: And our kids need the same things.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_00: They need a ride to school, they need a ride to practice, they need it, they want to go on a vacation, they gotta help pay for a book.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_00: They, hey, can you play catch me?
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, can you go to my band concert?
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, can I go to Susie's house?
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_00: So drop your ego, dads, and get a little bit more vulnerable.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_00: Ask questions how you can maybe be a better dad, a better husband this week, better friend.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't take time to um, hopefully you're listening to this episode, you're you're of a growth mindset, and maybe you're gonna reach out and you're gonna share this episode with somebody who could get something out of it.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you're gonna reach out to two or three friends you haven't said hi to.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_00: Just to check in on them, how are they doing?
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_00: Meet them for coffee.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, um, Chuck, this has been a blast.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's time.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, actually, before I before I go into the lightning round, if you're to summarize um in three words, ish, three words-ish, I will make that gray, that moms or dads can take from our episode or conversation today to come really work on summarizing what we talked about, but to come up a better quarterback or leader of their home.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, tell me what comes to mind.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_03: Listen and don't judge.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I mean.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's four.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's fantastic.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's great.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_00: Life timeless advice that's never gonna not be away.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's not the play, you don't need AI to listen and don't judge everybody.
• 59:11
  SPEAKER_00: Just be present, put your phone down, listen.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_00: So that was a mic drop moment, Chuck.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think I just heard your mic drop in the background.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_00: That was that was like even the dog couldn't squeak louder than that one.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_00: That was a solid mic drop.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_00: All right, it's now time to go into lightning round.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, this is where I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_00: Your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can, and my job is to hopefully get a giggle out of you.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_04: You got it.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, true or false, your favorite movie in college was Revenge of the Nerds.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_02: False.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_00: Rest in peace, Louis Skullnick passed away.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_00: Hashtag trilamps.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_00: For those Revenge of the Nerd fans out there, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, true or false, when your daughter learned how to drive the boat, you once barefoot water ski behind it.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_02: False.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um favorite movie of all time is The Matrix.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, last book you read was oh, um shoot.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_02: Uh what's it?
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_04: Outlive um by Peter Adios.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, I've heard about that.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I just live I just read last night.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh tell me, what would one genre of music that might surprise your your daughters live in Guatemala now?
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_00: Dad, you're like, Dad, you listen to that.
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I've really gotten into um old Cuban cafe music.
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's your your the maybe the Latin in you is inspiring some new culture.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_03: It's great.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love it.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if I was to come to your house for dinner tonight, tell me what would we have?
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_03: Tonight, um looking like asparagus and probably some pasta.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_03: If I can see pretty good, yeah.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know the one thing I don't like about asparagus?
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, I do.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_00: Why does it make her freaking pea stink so bad?
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_04: Not everybody.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_04: My wife won't smell my pee because she does she doesn't have the gene.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_04: She she refuses to believe my pea smells.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, smell! She's like, We'll not smell your pee.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_04: And so I've had I've had buddies tell her, look, she's weird.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_04: And and like, so it's it's random.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_04: Some people live pea smells, some people it doesn't, but it is pungent and it is immediate.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_04: It's weird.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: We had asparagus last night, and it's not like I'm asking people to go down and like sniff the toilet, but it is pungent.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 1:01:30
  SPEAKER_04: My wife just yelled at me that we're disgusting, just so yeah.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_05: We're having state.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_05: It's a wonderful life.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_05: We're having state, not hospitality.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's a wonderful life.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, now tell me.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you're not gonna believe this, Chuck, but it's a wonderful life is now crushing it.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_00: Every airport's sold out.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_00: Amazon can't print enough copies, and so we're gonna make a movie out of it.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_00: You're the casting director, and you need I need to know who's gonna star the one only Chuck Melendi, and it's a beautiful life.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_02: Seth Rogan.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_00: Seth Rogan, okay.
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's got a good, good buzz.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_02: That would be kind of fun.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_00: That would be fun.
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and then the last, the most important question I always ask my guests tell me two words that would describe your wife.
• 1:02:15
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, beautiful and smart.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_00: Here we go.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_00: Lightning rounds complete, everybody.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_00: We we both had a few giggles.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_00: We went random as usual.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's the hit.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's the effect of taking too many uh blindset hits in college.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_00: That is an Uncle Rico reference right there to playing quarterback.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's been an honor uh connecting with you.
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_00: Steve Gardi, thanks for making this episode uh possible.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_00: I see your friends with Joe Wessel as well.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_00: Joe is a former guest, White Fang and the Golden Bear went a fantastic book.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_00: Fantastic book.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a golfer or just a dad in general, so good.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm I'm a I'm a fan.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be following your work.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'll I'll make sure that hopefully others will and hopefully Crosby Grace Crosby Grace travels and get some new followers as well.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_00: And um, we'll make sure everything's linked in the show notes.
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_00: But everybody at home, thank you for for listening.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you've taken plenty of notes like I have.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um a lot of these episodes are just conversations, but they become wisdom when you actually apply it, everybody.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope you you go back and listen and leave us a review if you've not taken time to do that on Spotify, Apple, wherever it is.
• 1:03:15
  SPEAKER_00: But without further ado, Chuck, thanks so much for spending time with us and uh wish you continued success in your in your world of disruptive dialogue, my man.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you, Casey.
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_04: Keep doing what you're doing.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_04: You're amazing.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_04: Love the show, and I can't wait to share with all my butts.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_00: All right, buddy.