Latest / Resiliency Radio with Dr. Jill Carnahan, MD / 306: Resiliency Radio with Dr. Jill: Connection & Innovation for Resilience w/ Beth Benatti Kennedy

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306: Resiliency Radio with Dr. Jill: Connection & Innovation for Resilience w/ Beth Benatti Kennedy · Resiliency Radio with Dr. Jill Carnahan, MD

• 0:01
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Welcome to Resiliency Radio, your go to podcast for the most cutting edge insights integrative and functional medicine.
• 0:08
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I'm your host, Dr. Jill and with each episode we dive into the heart of healing and personal transformation.
• 0:14
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Join me as I interview renowned thought leaders, medical experts and stress resilience coaches and everyone in between.
• 0:21
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I know I always learn things right along with you.
• 0:25
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: My goal is to bring you tools and tricks and information to help you in your life and optimal performance and longevity.
• 0:33
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: We all want to feel better as we age and today we're going to talk about resilience, one of my favorite topics with an expert, Beth Bonatti Kennedy, who I'll introduce in just a moment.
• 0:43
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Before I do, I want to remind you of a couple things.
• 0:45
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: First of all, if you have not yet visited Dr. Jill health.com you can find all kinds of products and services there to help you meet your health goals and needs.
• 0:53
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Today we talk about stress resilience and burnout.
• 0:55
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And you may check out Cortisol Essentials or Dream Powder.
• 0:59
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: These are just two of our products that are really powerful for lowering cortisol and helping you sleep better.
• 1:04
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Again, a best selling Cortisol Essentials and our nighttime formula Dream Powder are very relevant today's episode.
• 1:12
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Secondly, if you're looking for a functional medicine doctor, our clinic, Flat Iron Functional Medicine is accepting new patients.
• 1:19
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Feel free to email us at info flatiron functional medicine.com or you can give us a call 303-993-7910 and schedule a consultation with one of our mid level providers.
• 1:32
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And lastly, if you haven't yet got a copy of my book, it's all about resilience.
• 1:36
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: It's called Unexpected Finding Resilience through Functional Medicine, Science and Faith.
• 1:41
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: It's right back here behind me.
• 1:43
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: You can get that on Amazon or anywhere books are sold.
• 1:45
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: If you want a signed copy, go to Dr. Jill health.com and just order there and just mention you want assigned will get that out to you and I will sign it personally.
• 1:54
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Okay, let's go ahead and introduce our guest.
• 1:56
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Beth Bonatti Kennedy has more than 25 years of experience as a leadership coach, resiliency training expert and speaker.
• 2:03
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: As a leadership coach, Beth guides leaders to develop resilience habits to support peak performance, maximize their professional and personal impact, positive influence in the people they work with, and build their brand.
• 2:14
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Her training program focuses on giving employees the tools to stay resilient, make sense of organizational changes and manage transition.
• 2:21
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: She's been a a TED speaker.
• 2:24
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: She's Written several books.
• 2:26
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: One is the Career Recharge 5 strategies to boost resilience and beat burnout.
• 2:30
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And co authored the Recent rethink resilience 99 ways to recharge your career and life.
• 2:36
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Let's get on with the show and join Beth.
• 2:39
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Well, hello, Beth.
• 2:40
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I am super excited about the fact that we shall share a passion for resilience.
• 2:46
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And you have been doing this a long time helping people with burnout.
• 2:49
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I think there's never been a better time.
• 2:52
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Whether I talk to doctors or my clients who are entrepreneurs or in, you know, marketing or accounting, or you name the business or just moms at home, I have seen an all time high of burnout.
• 3:03
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And just.
• 3:04
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And what happens is it relates to both of our fields because if they're burned out and stressed, I see it in their health.
• 3:09
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right?
• 3:10
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes, 100%.
• 3:12
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yeah.
• 3:12
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So this is so relevant to everyone listening.
• 3:14
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: We have a lot of professionals and physicians who listen.
• 3:17
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I think it'll be relevant to them.
• 3:18
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But then my patients who are struggling.
• 3:20
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So I am super excited to talk deeper with you.
• 3:23
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I always love to start off a little bit with your story, like, how did you personally get into this world?
• 3:27
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:28
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And thank you for mentioning about that.
• 3:30
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I've been doing resilience for a long time because when you hear my story, you'll realize I've been doing it before.
• 3:35
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It really became like this big buzzword.
• 3:37
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: That's what I noticed.
• 3:38
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I'm like, you were the leader in the crowd here.
• 3:40
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 3:41
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So it's crazy.
• 3:42
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So it actually all begins with my dad.
• 3:45
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So my dad was an entrepreneur, had a very successful moving company in Long Island City, N.Y. and as a little girl, he.
• 3:54
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: On Saturday mornings, I would go with him to all his moving jobs.
• 3:58
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And he was the most incredible leader.
• 4:01
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: He knew how to just bring out the best in every person.
• 4:04
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: The elevator operator, just everybody.
• 4:08
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And my job was to hand out buttered rolls to all the workers and just everyone that was involved in these big, giant commercial jobs.
• 4:17
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So one of the things I noticed even as a little kid was my dad always worked, so missed a lot of family vacations.
• 4:27
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then as I grew up, I realized it took a toll on his health.
• 4:32
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Became diabetic, put on a lot of weight, but he still just loved his job.
• 4:37
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And it used to, like, break my heart.
• 4:39
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then unfortunately, you know, in his early 60s, died of a massive heart attack.
• 4:45
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And it was like, so traumatic for me because I was like, that.
• 4:51
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: This is just not fair.
• 4:52
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: He was just ready to retire you know, and when I went to college, what happened was I went to a little small school in West Virginia called Bethany College.
• 5:02
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And when I met with my advisor, I was describing what I wanted to do.
• 5:06
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I said, I want to work with corporate people and someday help them recharge and manage their stress.
• 5:14
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And so I'm not sure what major I should do.
• 5:17
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And they said, you should do a double major, psychology and business.
• 5:21
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I did that as a double major.
• 5:23
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And my thesis, believe it or not, in 1988, was stress management a must for today's society.
• 5:29
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Wow.
• 5:29
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I, I kind of got into this early.
• 5:32
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then my college internship was at a place in New York City called Stress Care, which was for CEOs and vice presidents that were just killing themselves from the stress.
• 5:43
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I learned a lot and then had an opportunity.
• 5:47
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: When I went to grad school, I was working.
• 5:49
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I went to Northeastern University, had an opportunity to stay for an extra year to get certified as a school counselor.
• 5:55
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I said, I'm going to do that.
• 5:58
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Free tuition.
• 5:58
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I became a school counselor.
• 6:00
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And honestly, I was in the inner city making a difference.
• 6:04
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I said, I'm going to retire from this job.
• 6:07
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I loved it.
• 6:08
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I just, it was hitting all my values, my skills.
• 6:12
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And year seven, something happened to me.
• 6:14
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I woke up and I felt like just this pang of anxiety.
• 6:20
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I'm.
• 6:21
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I grew up in this family.
• 6:23
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You, you just keep going.
• 6:24
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You just keep working.
• 6:26
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You never complain.
• 6:27
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So got went to my schools, which I can't even tell you the amount of burned out teachers and administrators.
• 6:34
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yes.
• 6:35
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But I was just, you know, I was raised.
• 6:37
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You just keep going.
• 6:38
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You're making a difference.
• 6:40
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Three months later, six months later, I'm just like exhausted all the time.
• 6:46
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I remembered I sat next to a woman in graduate school who was 20 years older than me.
• 6:50
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Her name is Amory.
• 6:51
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: She's still alive and still a mentor for me.
• 6:54
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: She said, beth, if you ever need anything, reach out to me.
• 6:58
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I couldn't reach out to my parents because you don't quit if you grow up in my family.
• 7:02
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right.
• 7:03
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I had been there for, at this point, about eight and a half years.
• 7:08
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I called her and I said, anne Marie, you won't believe this.
• 7:11
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I'm sharing with her what's going on.
• 7:14
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: She said, come talk to me.
• 7:15
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So she was the training manager of the Gillette company.
• 7:18
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I went in, she said that you're going to write a bid for the Gillette Company and you are going to provide a career counseling program.
• 7:28
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: For the company and also the factory floor because you love making a difference.
• 7:33
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I didn't even know what I was doing.
• 7:34
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I wrote this bid, went against a bunch of consultant companies at 29 years old and was awarded the bid.
• 7:41
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I actually left the school counseling role and I was a consultant at the Gillette Company in Boston for 16 years and started this coaching program throughout the company was where my Bonatti Resiliency model got created.
• 7:55
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So it was a lot of the, I want to say the attributes that I learned from leaders that they really needed.
• 8:03
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And the most amazing thing happened was when Procter and Gamble purchased Gillette, the sad news was they no longer needed my services.
• 8:14
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: The good news was they kept me to transition the whole like leadership team.
• 8:20
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I use my model and I got such incredible feedback.
• 8:25
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: People saying not only are we landing jobs, Beth, we are recharged and in.
• 8:30
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: My dad at that point had passed away and I named it the Bonatti Resiliency Model in his honor.
• 8:35
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So now I've used it for thousands of people.
• 8:37
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I just got back from a trip to India working presenting at a clinical pharmacology conference and a company.
• 8:45
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So that's kind of my story.
• 8:47
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I love that on so many levels.
• 8:49
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Beth and I have a few things to say that are so relevant.
• 8:53
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: First of all, I love when the inspiration comes from our lived experiences of either our own burnout or seeing your father who obviously died suddenly of a heart attack and never got to enjoy his retirement.
• 9:04
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And yet you also saw him enjoying his work.
• 9:06
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But then.
• 9:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah, so interesting.
• 9:08
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I talked in podcasts before, but I have such a similar background.
• 9:11
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I grew up on a farm in Central Ilo, so it was work hard, don't complain and.
• 9:16
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right.
• 9:17
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So very similar.
• 9:18
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I always say it made me who I am because I. I was able to overcome a lot of things and push through.
• 9:23
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And even the medical training model is so brutal if I look back that I probably would have never survived had I not had that kind of mentality of don't complain, work hard, you know, keep going.
• 9:33
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right.
• 9:34
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And is there comes a point where that served us up until a point like for you.
• 9:38
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And then after that point it no longer was serving me and had recognize that and started to change my behaviors.
• 9:45
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: There's no doubt I would be way sicker or incapacitated or all those things.
• 9:50
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So it kind of takes.
• 9:51
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So I'd love to start there because I want to talk about the model and how you view people.
• 9:55
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But I see in both of our stories and I think People listening could relate to this.
• 9:59
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: There's a point when something doesn't feel right and right.
• 10:04
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Usually people think, oh, I just push harder, or they blame themselves.
• 10:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Something's wrong with me.
• 10:09
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right.
• 10:09
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 10:09
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: See, as far as how.
• 10:10
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Where is that point?
• 10:11
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 10:12
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And it's so interesting because I work with a lot of doctors, scientists, lawyers and engineers, and they all have similar backgrounds that they were just.
• 10:22
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: They're so committed to making a difference.
• 10:25
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But what I call it actually is going down the burnout escalator.
• 10:31
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 10:32
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: What happens is all of a sudden you feel it and you get all these symptoms and it's happening so quickly you forget to stop.
• 10:41
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Many people do not stop and make the change.
• 10:44
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And that's where unfortunately, I've had clients call me that have had nervous breakdowns or from their doctors that have said, you know, you really need to work.
• 10:54
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: We've done everything we can.
• 10:55
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You need to work with a coach, you need or a really good therapist and make some really good changes.
• 11:00
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist.
• 11:02
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So even though I practice as a coach, I'm grateful that I do have that training because there are times when I partner with a therapist or a psychiatrist to say, okay, we need to go down this route.
• 11:15
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But I'm grateful again.
• 11:17
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Having that training, I think is really important for dealing with burnout because it is such as, you know, it became, you know, an actual World health Organization announced.
• 11:28
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: This is actually a phenomenon.
• 11:29
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: This is not something in people's head.
• 11:31
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right.
• 11:31
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And again, you read the cutting edge.
• 11:33
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So as I say that, I think it's so relevant because what I see is either people feel like they're stuck, they have no choice, or their relationship.
• 11:41
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Maybe they're the provider in the family or they have a dual income where they know that their income is.
• 11:46
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So there's all these other factors around just us being able to freely do exactly what we want to do.
• 11:50
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right?
• 11:50
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yeah.
• 11:51
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: The biggest factors that keep people on that escalator.
• 11:55
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Down escalator.
• 11:56
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yeah.
• 11:56
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And you know what I will say you nailed it is it's a lot of individuals that have really big careers and they're completely honest with me.
• 12:05
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: They'll say, beth, this is how much I make.
• 12:07
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: This is the.
• 12:08
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Especially lawyers.
• 12:09
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: This is the degree I went for.
• 12:11
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And the first thing I say is, as you know, okay, let's, you know, focus on your well being.
• 12:17
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But the other part is you're not going to believe this is your fun factor.
• 12:21
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yes.
• 12:22
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So what are you doing?
• 12:23
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: What's the innovation for fun?
• 12:26
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I actually have A strategy called Sunday Fun Day where I make people because so many of my clients work all the time.
• 12:33
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Or I say, what is that new hobby you're going to invest in?
• 12:36
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So you invest in, you know, they may take a great two week vacation.
• 12:40
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: That's not enough, right?
• 12:42
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It needs, it's those, I really believe it's those daily actions that can get you out of burnout.
• 12:48
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And, and I don't necessarily make someone change their career because we know that sometimes financially that can happen.
• 12:56
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But there are so many other strategies we can do, especially even self awareness.
• 13:02
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Just noticing that, okay, I am spending eight hours, you know, eight hours miserable.
• 13:07
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: What can I do again to kind of get that recharge throughout the day?
• 13:11
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Wow.
• 13:12
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So practical.
• 13:13
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I have found as I've done some of the same work that my obviously joy, but even my creativity and ability to be a great leader and decision maker, it comes from the time when there were.
• 13:26
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So before, it was like everything had to be productive, right?
• 13:28
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 13:28
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: There was no value in me being me without me being productive.
• 13:32
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: It was equal to my value.
• 13:33
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I had to differentiate those and say, you know what?
• 13:35
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I'm going to color today.
• 13:36
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I'm going to take a walk.
• 13:37
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And before, with my farm values, it was like, there's no productivity there.
• 13:41
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: You're not doing anything.
• 13:42
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I'll tell you a story.
• 13:43
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I've said this before on the podcast, you'll laugh.
• 13:45
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I have the most amazing parents.
• 13:46
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So.
• 13:46
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So this is just kind of a funny story.
• 13:48
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But yeah, on the farm you work hard and on Saturdays there's chores.
• 13:51
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And so my mom would give me a list of ironing and cleaning and I would do it and we'd all work together.
• 13:55
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But when that was done, I'd sneak off to my room to read.
• 13:59
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I love to read, I love to learn.
• 14:01
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right.
• 14:01
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But I get in trouble for sneaking off to read when I was done with my chores because there's always more.
• 14:06
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right?
• 14:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I enforce this.
• 14:08
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Like, and of course, like, what parent tells her gets in trouble for reading.
• 14:12
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right.
• 14:12
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Their children.
• 14:13
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Right?
• 14:13
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right.
• 14:14
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: In that mindset, it was like, you don't rest, you don't sit, you don't know, you for enjoyment.
• 14:18
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And so I had to reframe that because there was this guilt associated with play, rest, coloring, being, you know, doing something non productive.
• 14:26
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Let's talk about that.
• 14:26
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Because I think people relate to my own story.
• 14:28
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I had to put a value outside of productivity in some of these fun pursuits.
• 14:33
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yeah.
• 14:34
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It's so interesting that you're saying that because one of the things that scientists say to me, I often introduce when I teach the Stephen Covey, they call it the Eisenhower matrix.
• 14:43
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yep.
• 14:44
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So for those of you that aren't familiar, sometimes it's called the Eisenhower matrix, sometimes it's called the Stephen Covey matrix.
• 14:50
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I like to give all these people credit for it, but they're the four Matrix.
• 14:54
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Four Matrix six.
• 14:55
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And the corner one is urgent and important.
• 14:59
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And most of my clients live their entire life and career in everything's important and urgent.
• 15:06
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So that's great.
• 15:08
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But what we have to remember is that's not what gives us our recharge or our fulfillment.
• 15:13
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Quadrant 2 is not important, but urgent.
• 15:18
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So it's like, what are these things that I do want to do that are important to me, for example?
• 15:23
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And that's where resilience comes in.
• 15:25
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So it could be taking a walk with the dog.
• 15:27
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It could be even.
• 15:29
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: We're seeing the science about connection.
• 15:32
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So maybe some of those friends from college that I.
• 15:34
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: That I've been out of touch with or graduate school that fill my bucket, making time to get together with them.
• 15:40
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I think one of the things I've noticed is once you have that guilty feeling, once you start taking these steps, all of a sudden you start letting that go.
• 15:51
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: When you feel the recharge and then you get.
• 15:54
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You start like a recalibration.
• 15:56
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah, Yeah.
• 15:57
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I really had to do that.
• 15:58
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And now it's.
• 15:58
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: It goes without saying.
• 15:59
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Like, I just.
• 16:00
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Oh, good.
• 16:01
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So it's so great.
• 16:03
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But it took a lot of, like, wait, there's no guilt with resting or sitting.
• 16:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I couldn't even sit still.
• 16:09
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yes.
• 16:10
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I gotta learn how to sit still.
• 16:11
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Okay, so let's go back.
• 16:12
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So I want to do is frame burnout.
• 16:14
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: People kind of know what means.
• 16:15
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Maybe we kind of redefined or like, if someone's listening out there, how would they know?
• 16:19
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: There's.
• 16:20
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: These are warning signals that you are going down that escalator.
• 16:23
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Right.
• 16:24
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I think one of the things to realize about burnout is that there's actually five stages.
• 16:31
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So it's not like.
• 16:34
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It's not like all of a sudden you're going to wake up and feel like, okay, I'm burnt out.
• 16:37
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You're.
• 16:38
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It's a process.
• 16:39
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And in the beginning you notice things like you're exhausted or you're kind of.
• 16:44
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Sometimes you can be really cynical.
• 16:46
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But what happens is it starts to become a pattern and it's overwhelming.
• 16:50
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So that's like the stage one, then the stage two, the symptoms become a little bit more serious.
• 16:56
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You know, I think I was probably in like stage two at the schools where I was, you know, really exhausted.
• 17:03
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I one of the things I became a clock watcher.
• 17:06
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So like, is my day over yet?
• 17:08
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 17:09
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Some people get migraines and headaches and physical symptoms and the stage three is where it gets a lot more serious.
• 17:16
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You might feel, you know, signs of depression.
• 17:19
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You might feel like you're again different anxiety, different types of anxiety for everyone is different.
• 17:26
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And you really at that point want to get some mental health.
• 17:30
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You know, you want to really work on some of those symptoms, make some little changes.
• 17:36
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Stage four is where some people like, they just don't even want to get out of bed in the morning and they notice it interferes in relationships.
• 17:46
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then stage five is like hitting the brick wall.
• 17:51
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And that's when some people turn to unfortunately, drugs, serious alcohol, they're just, you know, often need really serious help.
• 18:03
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I always say to people it's so important listen to the signs at the very beginning.
• 18:10
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And that's when, you know, therapy or coaching, just these little strategies of resilience can really help you reverse.
• 18:20
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I call it going up the elevator.
• 18:21
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You can press that button because we're all going to sometimes when we're working hard.
• 18:26
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I want to say there will be times when we have burnout symptoms, but it's different than being full burnout and that's what we want to prevent.
• 18:35
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Hey everyone, just a quick pause to remind you that you can find products and services to support your optimal wellness and performance.
• 18:42
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• 18:52
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• 18:56
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• 19:01
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• 19:08
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• 19:16
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• 19:17
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• 19:20
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• 19:24
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• 19:26
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• 19:31
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• 19:41
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Okay, back to our show.
• 19:42
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Great and clear.
• 19:43
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I'm thinking of Again, I know a lot of people nowadays are going to be listening to this and being they're going to relate.
• 19:49
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So say that someone relates to stage one, two, three.
• 19:52
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Hopefully not too many are in stage four or five.
• 19:54
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But wherever they're at, where would you start with them?
• 19:57
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I want to go into your model, but I kind of want to just like what?
• 20:00
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yeah, so I would actually start exactly with my model.
• 20:03
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So one of the things I want to introduce and offer to everyone on this call is I do offer a resilience benchmark which I'll have Dr. Jill can send out to all of you.
• 20:13
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Okay.
• 20:13
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It takes less than 10 minutes and it assesses you on five key areas to prevent burnout.
• 20:19
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And all of these are backed by science.
• 20:21
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So well being we know so where.
• 20:25
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: they could assess and we'll put a, can we put a link in the show notes?
• 20:28
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes, you can put a link.
• 20:29
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yes, we'll have that in for you guys.
• 20:31
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And, and the other nice thing about it is after you take it, you also get a resilience roadmap.
• 20:36
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So you'll have strategies for each area.
• 20:38
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So depending on again I always going back to strategies, what's that one area I should focus on?
• 20:44
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And what are those little tiny changes I want to make?
• 20:46
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Perfect.
• 20:46
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So anyway, so the first area is well being.
• 20:49
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: We all know how important that is.
• 20:51
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I know we've heard it during the pandemic and now but some of the other areas we tend to forget about.
• 20:57
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So the second area of my model is self awareness.
• 21:00
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And that's what we call, you know, part, the most important part is your purpose.
• 21:06
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: In Japan they call it your ikigai.
• 21:08
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It's your why.
• 21:10
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But it's also being a little bit more aware of your personality.
• 21:14
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So how are you showing up?
• 21:16
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then do you have a growth mindset?
• 21:18
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So we know how the scientific research with Carol Dweck on how important that is.
• 21:23
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So we go, well, being self awareness.
• 21:25
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then the third area is not in many resiliency models and to me it's most important and it's what is your personal brand?
• 21:34
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So what are your natural strengths?
• 21:37
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: What are your natural gifts and are you using them?
• 21:40
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And if you're not, how can you start using them?
• 21:43
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But also how are you showing up to make the impact you want to make?
• 21:48
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Because if you're in a career and you're not using your strengths and you're not making the impact you want to make, you're going to end up going down that burnout escalator.
• 21:57
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But there's Great things you can do.
• 21:59
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: There's other activities you can do.
• 22:01
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So there's a whole little exercise about brand.
• 22:04
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then the fourth one there.
• 22:06
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I won't interrupt you.
• 22:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I want.
• 22:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: This is important.
• 22:08
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I think.
• 22:08
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So someone's like, oh, I'm not using my skills in this job, but for the moment I can't shift.
• 22:13
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Do you actually have them do something else while.
• 22:15
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 22:15
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Transition.
• 22:16
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So.
• 22:16
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 22:16
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And use their gifts.
• 22:18
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Okay.
• 22:18
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 22:19
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So.
• 22:19
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So let me give you a really good example of that.
• 22:22
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I was coaching a psychologist that was like, I am completely burnt out, Beth.
• 22:27
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So, you know, she's been in school for a long time.
• 22:30
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You know those fields.
• 22:32
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Let's face it, you're.
• 22:33
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You're with people all the time.
• 22:35
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So we started looking at her gifts.
• 22:37
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: She's always been an amazing artist and very creative.
• 22:41
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I said, your homework is do some research and get into an art class.
• 22:45
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Perfect.
• 22:46
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: She is back to being a psychologist and couldn't be happier.
• 22:50
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: She goes on like weekend retreats doing her art.
• 22:53
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And she's even submitted a few beautiful paintings to different art shows.
• 22:57
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Wow.
• 22:58
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And the.
• 22:58
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And she's.
• 22:59
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: She's actually enjoying her career again.
• 23:02
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So we forget some of these beautiful gifts we have that we're not going to use them all in our career.
• 23:07
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But I believe again, we have to think about our brains and all the great, you know, the dopamine and the cortisol and the serotonin.
• 23:16
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: When we start doing things we really enjoy, we produce those good brain chemicals and that helps us with the burnout.
• 23:22
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Perfect.
• 23:23
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So, well, being self awareness, brand.
• 23:25
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: What's next?
• 23:26
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then the fourth one is connection.
• 23:28
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So we've seen the incredible science about connecting with people.
• 23:34
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: The incredible brain chemicals that produces.
• 23:37
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Especially when they're people that fill our bucket.
• 23:40
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah.
• 23:40
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I do a lot of work with individuals to make sure you have your tribe and the exercise that I do, I call it who is in your boat.
• 23:49
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And if you're listening right now to think about three to five people that recharge you and then what is your habit to get together with them?
• 23:57
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Because if it's not a habit, you're missing out on such important.
• 24:02
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: That's such a great way to prevent burnout is keeping those people in your boat and they could be in your field.
• 24:09
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: For me, I have to be honest that some of the people I stand next to when I go to my exercise class, they completely recharge me.
• 24:17
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I do have a lot of wonderful colleagues.
• 24:19
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I have to say that too.
• 24:20
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But it can be family members.
• 24:22
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But in my book, I also talk about being very careful about what I call the vampires.
• 24:28
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And these are those people that just suck the energy out of us.
• 24:31
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Because you could be in the perfect career.
• 24:34
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You could have, you know, have the most amazing degrees.
• 24:37
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But if you're in a job with a lot of vampires, you may need to make a change because you could be so good at your job and they don't let you bring out the best of yourself.
• 24:46
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So.
• 24:47
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And a lot of people don't realize how important that is.
• 24:51
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: One of my last guests, I loved what he said.
• 24:53
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: He said, because I asked him about this energy and he's an empath.
• 24:56
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And he said, my wife and I have made an agreement.
• 24:58
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: No one who has toxic energy enters our house.
• 25:01
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: We just don't allow it.
• 25:02
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I'm like, wow, that's pretty strong.
• 25:03
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But I loved it because, like, really, how many of us have that clear of boundaries that, like, someone that we know.
• 25:08
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Oh, that's not good energy.
• 25:09
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Like, nope, sorry.
• 25:10
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And not like he doesn't overtly, like, push them away.
• 25:12
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: He's just like, no, we're not.
• 25:13
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Invite them in for dinner.
• 25:16
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: No.
• 25:16
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I do think more and more you can see the difference.
• 25:20
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You really can see how you feel.
• 25:23
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Even after.
• 25:23
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I'm sure you notice, even with some of your clients, when you have that chemistry connection, you just.
• 25:29
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: It's such a recharge, you know, like that.
• 25:32
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I'm sure you have clients like this.
• 25:33
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But I can say right now, you know, I have these patients, I look on the schedule for the day, I come in on a Monday, and.
• 25:37
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I look at, you know, 3 o', clock, so.
• 25:39
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And so.
• 25:40
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I'm like, my heart is just happy because it's one of those people that I know comes in.
• 25:44
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Here I am, I'm supposed to be healing, helping, serving them, and they're that kind of person that brings joy to me and fulfills, yes.
• 25:50
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: How lucky to get to have.
• 25:52
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And so it's so special because of my patients are like that.
• 25:55
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And yes, I feel the same.
• 25:57
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I feel the same way.
• 25:58
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And it's funny because people have, you know, I've been coaching for, gosh, 29 years, and people are like, how do you not get burnt out?
• 26:04
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I say, well, part of it is the connection.
• 26:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah.
• 26:08
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You know, and.
• 26:09
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And the other area that I want to say that's so important is the fifth area, which is innovation.
• 26:15
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And that is how do you challenge yourself?
• 26:18
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And one of the things that's very important, and I've done this since I Got into the field of counseling and coaching is professional development.
• 26:26
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yes.
• 26:27
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I have always budgeted every year of my career to go to a really amazing conference where it just fills my bucket.
• 26:35
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And now it's so wonderful that I can actually mentor, you know, whether you're mentoring someone.
• 26:41
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But innovation.
• 26:42
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And this is so important.
• 26:43
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You know, we think about corporate American innovation and the latest iPhone, but innovation is anything new you are learning.
• 26:51
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So it could be listening to a podcast, which I always recommend because it's one of those things.
• 26:58
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It's like the easiest way to fill your brain with some great fun new knowledge and again produces those great new brain chemicals.
• 27:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah.
• 27:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Well, that's so great.
• 27:08
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And it's funny because that is the one thing that if I can't like, have enough space to go read and learn, I love to.
• 27:14
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: It's kind of like back with a little girl I on the farm who was doing her chores and she ran to a room to read.
• 27:19
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Like, for me, that learning is so core.
• 27:22
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I am.
• 27:23
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah, right.
• 27:23
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: The only time I'll ever feel burnout is if I don't have the space to read and learn.
• 27:27
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Right.
• 27:27
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And you know what's funny?
• 27:29
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I travel a lot for work and people say, oh, Beth, you must like, that must be horrible.
• 27:33
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I actually am like, no, because it's the time when I can really read.
• 27:36
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yes.
• 27:37
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Like, I couldn't agree more.
• 27:38
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: On the plane, I'm like three hours to listen to a book or read a book.
• 27:42
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I know we sound ridiculous, but again.
• 27:45
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But again.
• 27:45
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And that goes back to those quadrant two of the.
• 27:47
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Of the Eisenhower matrix is.
• 27:49
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Quadrant two is.
• 27:50
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You know, reading self development is.
• 27:53
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Is one of the best resilient builders.
• 27:56
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Wow.
• 27:56
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: That's.
• 27:57
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: We're recharging our brain about.
• 27:58
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah.
• 27:59
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And you know that.
• 27:59
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I love that was your.
• 28:01
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Basically two with self awareness.
• 28:03
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I.
• 28:03
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yes.
• 28:03
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: My patients as well.
• 28:04
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Back in the day, I've been doing function medicine almost as long as you've been doing resilience.
• 28:08
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And in the early days it was hormone balance and thyroid issues and a little bit of autoimmune and things were pretty easy to turn around.
• 28:14
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And now what's happened is the comple of illness and the stress levels and the environmental toxic load and all of these things are literally drowning people.
• 28:22
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So I find just a supplement here there is not usually enough to turn things around.
• 28:27
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And so I have to do.
• 28:28
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I'm not a psychologist.
• 28:29
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I know referrals.
• 28:30
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I give them to the right people.
• 28:31
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But even in the office we talk about trauma and we talk about, you Know identity.
• 28:36
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And we talk about these things that are so core.
• 28:38
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Because I know that self awareness around why, you know, how did this illness come about and what identity do I have around it?
• 28:46
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And is there a childhood tr.
• 28:48
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Those things sometimes are the biggest needle movers in resist.
• 28:51
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: They really.
• 28:51
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And in health.
• 28:52
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right.
• 28:52
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yeah, you are absolutely right.
• 28:54
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I. I do think just identifying those stress triggers.
• 28:58
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: When a client says that to me the next session, they're like, beth.
• 29:02
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah.
• 29:02
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I feel so much better.
• 29:03
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I haven't even, like, made any changes.
• 29:05
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I just think that validating them.
• 29:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Right.
• 29:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Like what I.
• 29:08
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 29:08
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Long is like.
• 29:09
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 29:09
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Carefully retell their story and somehow for them to be heard and for them to hear me telling them.
• 29:15
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I get it.
• 29:15
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I understand.
• 29:16
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I see this and this.
• 29:17
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: It's almost just like the validation starts that process of healing.
• 29:20
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 29:21
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 29:22
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I. I think more and more professionals and doctors especially are spending more time on self awareness.
• 29:29
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I just think it's.
• 29:30
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I think it's one of, like, it's such a beautiful thing.
• 29:32
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I see with all my doctors.
• 29:34
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah.
• 29:35
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You know, which I just think is great.
• 29:36
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I love it.
• 29:37
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And that's why you and I have such an alignment, even though we're in different fields.
• 29:40
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Because yes.
• 29:41
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Do affects the health of the client.
• 29:43
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 29:44
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: You talked about connection.
• 29:46
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Love that.
• 29:46
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I think it's so critical.
• 29:48
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I think literally, if we look at mortality and morbidity from illness, loneliness and isolation is probably up there above smoking, obesity, all the things that we used to say.
• 29:57
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So I think this is huge.
• 29:58
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 29:59
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So personally, I have a couple girlfriends that, like, I have to have my weekly coffee with them, and it's like the charge.
• 30:05
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I want to talk with your history of marriage and family counseling and your education.
• 30:09
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: There's.
• 30:09
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yeah.
• 30:10
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I suspect there's a lot of people you coach that have issues in their relationship, and I'd love to hear a little bit about navigating that, like, if their spouse doesn't want them to quit their job or maybe like, how does that play into this?
• 30:22
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I can't imagine.
• 30:23
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Very connected.
• 30:24
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yeah.
• 30:24
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It's so interesting.
• 30:26
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: One of the things that I do that again that I feel grateful that I had that training is with all my leadership coaching clients.
• 30:34
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It doesn't matter what level you are.
• 30:36
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I do a genogram, which is just a basic, you know, Family Therapy 101 tool where we look at who, you know, who's their partner, what's going on, and we actually spend time to talk about what is the support level from that person.
• 30:51
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And one of the things I've learned over all these years working with so many people with really big jobs is if you don't have that support from your partner when you're going through burnout, it is going to make it so much more difficult.
• 31:09
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I will be honest with you.
• 31:11
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: If that support is not there often, I will say I will really recommend couples counseling because it's very hard to move the needle if you are struggling by yourself.
• 31:26
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It's such a good question.
• 31:28
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And it's interesting because once again, there's a parallel because I have patients who have maybe severe mold related illness or severe autoimmunity.
• 31:34
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And some of these things, like I always say, when someone has cancer, they go through chemo, they lose their hair.
• 31:39
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: There's a lot of sympathy and understanding because it's such a known disease.
• 31:43
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Right.
• 31:43
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Of the diseases I deal with are kind of invisible.
• 31:46
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: People really don't feel well, but on the outside they look pretty normal.
• 31:49
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And see, often I have the spouses in the office with the patient and I can't tell you how many times where the spouse thinks that they're crazy or thinks that they're not sick or thinks that they, you know, like, should feel.
• 32:00
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: There's a lot of this almost like gaslighting.
• 32:02
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I find that also from my health perspective is so critical to help the patient get some support and actually feel validated in front of their partner.
• 32:11
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Because yes, like, just like you, I know that they can't heal if they have a partner who is continually telling them that they're crazy.
• 32:19
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Right, right.
• 32:20
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And, and there's actually science that supports that, especially in the area of eating disorders, when, if the family, if the family system doesn't understand it.
• 32:33
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I, I see the same thing when someone's like really struggling with whether they need to leave their job or not.
• 32:38
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: When we get the partner on board, it's just amazing the success that can come.
• 32:44
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And a lot of times.
• 32:46
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Go ahead.
• 32:47
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: A lot of times it's me educating them to actually share with their partner.
• 32:50
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I need you to be a team player.
• 32:53
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: That's so good, you know?
• 32:54
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah.
• 32:54
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Because so often we get on these changes and think we're us against them and it's just, yes, let's do this together.
• 32:59
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So.
• 33:00
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yeah, especially with two people have these big jobs.
• 33:04
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You know, I recently had a client whose wife was just really struggling with burnout.
• 33:11
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And my client said, I'm gonna tell her, take a break.
• 33:15
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yeah, take a break.
• 33:17
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And you know, Beth, how my job Is all consuming.
• 33:21
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And.
• 33:22
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And he told her that.
• 33:23
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: She was so grateful.
• 33:24
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And you know what?
• 33:25
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: She's taking a break.
• 33:26
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah.
• 33:27
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And he's.
• 33:27
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: His job.
• 33:28
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: He's doing fabulous.
• 33:29
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And she's, like, just taking a break and reassessing, and she'll be ready to, you know, three, six months, get back on board.
• 33:36
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But I just think that's such a gift.
• 33:39
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I think the other thing that's important about resilience is thinking about what matters most.
• 33:45
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And if you're in a relationship, to think about what matters most so that we can have the best coupleship.
• 33:50
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And it really is.
• 33:51
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: When someone's in stage three or four burnout, what can we do to make a change and support them?
• 33:56
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: That is such a great question.
• 33:58
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: No one has ever asked me that before.
• 34:00
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Oh, goodness.
• 34:00
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Well, you're a wealth of knowledge.
• 34:02
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I'm sorry I keep interrupting you.
• 34:04
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I get so excited.
• 34:05
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: No, that's fine.
• 34:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Oh, goodness.
• 34:09
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I really love that.
• 34:10
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I can just hear people, you know, sometimes thinking maybe if they're listening here.
• 34:14
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Like, when you say that about that partner, there's such a core need to be seen and understood.
• 34:20
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And if someone just says, I see you, sweetheart.
• 34:22
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I'm here for you know, take a break.
• 34:24
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Right.
• 34:24
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Like that automatic.
• 34:25
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Like, just hearing you say that about this other couple, I'm like, my nervous system.
• 34:28
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Oh, that's so nice.
• 34:29
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I know.
• 34:30
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And it was so sweet when he was telling me.
• 34:32
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I was just like.
• 34:33
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And it was like his first thing and his first thing in our meeting, and I was like, oh, my gosh, that is so beautiful.
• 34:39
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You know?
• 34:40
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah.
• 34:40
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Wow.
• 34:41
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So powerful.
• 34:42
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Well, in our last few minutes, I'd love to know, maybe some daily, weekly rituals you personally use or that have been most successful with your clients.
• 34:49
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: What do you like to do?
• 34:50
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yeah, I would.
• 34:51
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I would love to share one of my favorite things.
• 34:54
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I.
• 34:55
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I know this is a plug for company and an organization, but I do start my morning off every morning with meditating.
• 35:02
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I use the Calm app.
• 35:04
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Oh, yes.
• 35:04
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Lovely.
• 35:05
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And for.
• 35:06
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: You know.
• 35:06
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I know there's lots of them out there, but one of the things I love about it is it sends you three different facilitators every morning.
• 35:16
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So depending on what you're feeling, like you could pick one or the other.
• 35:19
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And they're from seven to nine minutes.
• 35:20
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Oh, perfect.
• 35:21
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So really do it.
• 35:23
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: That's how I start my morning.
• 35:24
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then I have a. I call it the five minute journal.
• 35:28
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I set my timer for five minutes, and I just write whatever's going on for Five minutes.
• 35:33
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: That's like one of my kind of beginning.
• 35:35
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And the other thing that I do is take our awesome dog Maple for her morning walk by myself, usually meet a few neighbors and I feel like that just sets my day up for success.
• 35:47
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then I'm a big believer in time management.
• 35:51
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I'm a good old fashioned time management person.
• 35:54
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I do the big master list.
• 35:57
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah.
• 35:57
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then some of you may remember the term Franklin Covey.
• 36:01
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And this is what I teach my clients.
• 36:03
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I make that master list and then I break it down into the a, B and Cs and I do time chunking.
• 36:11
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So, you know, I typically, if I have four or five clients for the day, then I do, you know, when am I going to do my writing or my other stuff.
• 36:19
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I plug that in.
• 36:20
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then I'm a big believer in exercise.
• 36:23
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I do a kind of a fun woman's exercise class and then a lot of strength training as well.
• 36:31
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: That's tremendous.
• 36:32
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: You just hit like all the really important things.
• 36:35
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I love that.
• 36:36
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I feel like as teachers, healers and in the field you're in, we do have to practice it because often.
• 36:41
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 36:42
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And the understanding comes from, you know, how hard it is to keep those habits.
• 36:46
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But yes, like, and I love.
• 36:47
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: You mentioned Franklin Covey back in probably maybe 8th grade or freshman year of high school.
• 36:52
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I read his book and I remember being like transformed by it because like, oh, this, me too.
• 36:56
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: That's what I meant to me too.
• 36:58
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And I still, I always joke when I presented at classes because I'll say, you know what, some of the old traditional methods are just the best.
• 37:06
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Yeah, yeah.
• 37:07
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: You know, you said I want to just highlight for those listening.
• 37:11
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Julia Cameron, the Artist Way.
• 37:12
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: One of my favorite, you know, authors and she has a load of books.
• 37:15
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But that whole offloading, whether it's I journal to every morning and it's almost like the things that bother us and percolate.
• 37:22
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Oh, that laundry thing.
• 37:23
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Or I have to do this or I have to.
• 37:25
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: It's almost like if we can offload them by writing it all out, just letting it flow and then.
• 37:28
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Yes.
• 37:29
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Takes that weight off of us during the day.
• 37:31
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I find that when I do that practice, it's almost like getting rid of a load of stress.
• 37:36
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: It's a really power thing.
• 37:38
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So I love that.
• 37:39
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And one of the things I will share to the listeners is I know a lot of people think journaling.
• 37:43
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Oh, that's horrible.
• 37:45
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But try this idea.
• 37:46
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I call it the Friday 5 and start with just on Friday.
• 37:50
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Setting your Timer for five minutes and just write in the journal, just on Fridays.
• 37:55
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Keep it small.
• 37:56
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So one of the things that I believe for resilience is the more we can make the actions, I call them micro actions, the smaller you can make them.
• 38:05
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Then all of a sudden you start liking it.
• 38:07
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And that is how I started probably like 10 years ago.
• 38:11
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then now I journal more.
• 38:12
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: But a lot of my clients just do the Friday five and they have in their phone.
• 38:16
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: It's a great little strategy.
• 38:17
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Put in your phone, have it beep when you're having your coffee, put Friday five.
• 38:22
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then what's that action you want to try?
• 38:23
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So is it journaling?
• 38:25
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Is it the other thing?
• 38:26
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: I'm a really big breather, making sure we're doing our pause breaths.
• 38:30
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Maybe it's stretching, maybe it's just going out and getting some nature because we know the power of awe and how that changes our brain.
• 38:38
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I think that Friday 5 is one of these strategies that can be like a game changer.
• 38:42
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Well, I love that.
• 38:43
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And yeah, for some of those people who are like, I love my journaling, I would never give it up.
• 38:47
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: But for those who are like terrified of that's such a practical.
• 38:51
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Beth, this has been such a fun interview and totally full of really practical tips.
• 38:57
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I'm just grateful for you and the many years you've spent honing this craft.
• 39:01
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Like I said, you're one of the originals who's really brought resilience to the world.
• 39:06
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And where can people find out more about you?
• 39:09
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And of course, we'll link up to your free quiz and yes, so.
• 39:14
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: my, My website is www.bethkennedy.com and I have two books.
• 39:21
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: The first one is called Career Five Strategies to Boost resilience and beat Burnout.
• 39:27
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then a new book that just came out, rethink resilience, 99 ways to recharge your career in life.
• 39:33
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And that is written, co authored with two scientists.
• 39:36
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And then if you're on LinkedIn, that's my big social media platform.
• 39:41
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: And it's Beth Bonatti, my maiden name, B E N A T T I Kennedy.
• 39:46
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: So I'd love to connect with you on LinkedIn and I do a lot on that channel.
• 39:51
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Fabulous.
• 39:51
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: We will link that if you're driving or wherever.
• 39:53
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Don't worry, it'll be all in the show notes.
• 39:55
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Beth, thanks again for coming on.
• 39:57
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I really.
• 39:57
  Beth Benatti Kennedy: Oh, thank you, Dr. Jelling, great to meet you.
• 40:00
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And hey guys, hope you enjoyed that episode of Resiliency Radio with Beth Bonatti Kennedy who has been an expert for over 25 years in resilience.
• 40:09
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: I know really loved her energy and I think so many people nowadays can relate to.
• 40:15
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: So I encourage you to check out her website, take the free quiz she offered us, and just check out her work on LinkedIn if you want to know more.
• 40:22
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And as always, if you have not yet liked or subscribed wherever you are at or left a review, we would sure appreciate that.
• 40:30
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: And I always like to remind you that if you're looking for a functional medicine physician and you need some help navigating complex chronic disease, our office at Flatiron Functional Medicine is accepting new patients.
• 40:41
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: You can email us at info@flatironfunctionalmedicine.com or call us at 303-993-7910 to schedule a consult.
• 40:52
  Dr. Jill Carnahan, mD: Anyway, until next week, we will see you again for another new episode on Resiliency Radio.