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When You Stop Comparing, You Start Growing · Divas That Care Network

0:00
SPEAKER_01: It's Divas the Care Radio.
0:02
SPEAKER_01: Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change.
0:06
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Divas The Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
0:13
SPEAKER_01: This is a global movement for women by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
0:20
SPEAKER_01: To find out more about the movement, visit divasThatCare.com after the show.
0:26
SPEAKER_01: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jaunt of inspiration.
0:31
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Confidence in Bloom, the podcast that reminds you that confidence isn't about becoming someone new, it's about coming home to yourself.
0:40
SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Tina Spellettini, and this season we're embracing the theme End of Year, Beginning of Me.
0:47
SPEAKER_02: A time to pause, reflect, and let go of what no longer serves you.
0:51
SPEAKER_02: Together we'll explore real stories and soulful insights to help you quiet that itty bitty shitty committee, release the shoulds that weigh you down, and step into the new year grounded in self-love, clarity, and confidence.
1:06
SPEAKER_02: Today's conversation is going to be a great one, of course.
1:11
SPEAKER_02: I'm chatting with the founder of A Million Dreams Coaching, Laura Hill.
1:18
SPEAKER_02: Laura guides women to rediscover their confidence and direction through her transformational life coaching and motivational speaking.
1:27
SPEAKER_02: After navigating her own journey of reinvention, she now helps others find clarity, courage, and purpose in both their personal and professional lives.
1:37
SPEAKER_02: So welcome, Laura.
1:39
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
1:40
SPEAKER_02: I'm so honored to have you here today.
1:42
SPEAKER_02: Um, let's get right into some questions.
1:45
SPEAKER_02: I want to know more about you, but first I want to ask you like when you look back on 2025, what version of Laura are you the most proud of?
1:57
SPEAKER_02: And if she showed, like I guess what what's the most moment that you're proud of that she showed up?
2:08
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
2:08
SPEAKER_02: Does that does that question make sense?
2:10
SPEAKER_02: I got it in my head.
2:11
SPEAKER_02: I want to know like the moment that you're the most proud of in the last 20, like in the last year.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: I I feel like the one that I'm most proud of is standing up on stage in front of 200 people.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: Uh I was always known as the quiet, shy person, like voted the shyest person in high school.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so for me to have grown over the years to a point where I uh took the step to stand up in front of hundreds of people to share a message that felt very important to me was a huge step for me and something that I'm really proud of myself for for doing and taking myself out of that comfort zone that I've been in.
2:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, congratulations.
2:55
SPEAKER_02: I was there.
2:55
SPEAKER_02: You're talking about Biz Brigade, right?
2:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I was there, I heard it, and I was like, wow, good for you.
3:01
SPEAKER_02: I was so proud too.
3:02
SPEAKER_02: And I did I had never met you before, and I felt so good for you because I know that's big, right?
3:07
SPEAKER_02: I'm I have yet to do that.
3:09
SPEAKER_02: I don't know that I ever will, right?
3:12
SPEAKER_02: Um, but it it's a huge step.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: It is, and honestly, I loved it and I am excited for more opportunities like it.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: Um, I felt myself shaking the whole time, but in that nervousness, I also just I loved it.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: Just having a message that I was really inspired by and uh something that meant so much to me that I was really excited just to share it with people.
3:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I and I guess that's what it comes down to, right?
3:42
SPEAKER_02: When you believe in what you're saying, right, it makes the job so much easier, right?
3:47
SPEAKER_02: Because I mean that that's a job, right?
3:49
SPEAKER_02: It's not that you just stand up, you know, first you have to prepare what you're gonna say, but you have to like believe it, right?
3:56
SPEAKER_02: You have to like really embody what you're about to say, you know.
4:00
SPEAKER_02: I mean, it was a networking event, you know, but it was also an event where, you know, you you had there's potential clients there, right?
4:09
SPEAKER_02: You want people to know, like, and trust you.
4:11
SPEAKER_02: And so that's a big deal.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: So you're preparing your speech.
4:14
SPEAKER_02: Plus, you're I don't know if you're like me, but you have to walk through the room.
4:18
SPEAKER_02: There was like tables of like 200 women.
4:20
SPEAKER_02: That alone is like a little freaky, right?
4:24
SPEAKER_02: And then you're getting up on the stage, you're being introduced, so you know that everyone in the room now is looking at you.
4:30
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, I I I get that feeling for you because I I'm like, oh my god, I can't, you know, walking, I hate walking into a room late by myself.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: Yes, right.
4:41
SPEAKER_02: I like if I'm late and I'm by myself, I will wait until people are starting to move around, right?
4:47
SPEAKER_02: Because I don't like that.
4:48
SPEAKER_02: And really, if you're late, especially an meeting like this, no one's gonna look at you.
4:52
SPEAKER_02: They're looking up at the front.
4:54
SPEAKER_02: But in my heart, I'm like, no, they're gonna see me.
4:57
SPEAKER_02: I get it, I totally get it.
4:59
SPEAKER_02: So in this year, do you like with that like experience, do you feel like you released something that wants to find you?
5:10
SPEAKER_02: Like you said, your shyness, and how has that really opened up space for who you're gonna become?
5:23
SPEAKER_00: I think one of the things that I feel like I'm really what I have been working on a lot this year is releasing that should stuff.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: All the times that you say, Oh, I should do something.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: Um that's what kind of my focus has been this year is letting go of all those things that I felt like I was supposed to be doing.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: And I think uh I for a long time did things because I thought it's what I needed to do to make everyone else happy.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: And if I could just try harder or be better or show up differently, all the shoulds that I thought I needed to do to make life better or make life or make other people happier, I realized over this last year that all my trying to be somebody else for other people wasn't bringing happiness to anybody.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: And realizing that the more I showed up as myself, what felt true to me, what held the values that I had more and was more authentic to who I was, the happier I was.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: And in me being happier, the happier the people around me became also.
6:46
SPEAKER_02: My gosh, I love I love that answer because that is it's so real, right?
6:54
SPEAKER_02: We are all, I mean, I don't know that everybody is people pleasing, but I think, you know, just from growing up and the people that were around me, and even in the last, you know, let's say 15, 20 years, there's so much of that shooting on ourselves, right?
7:13
SPEAKER_02: I should do this and I should do that, and I should go see this person.
7:16
SPEAKER_02: And I, you know, well, what about how like what do you really want?
7:22
SPEAKER_02: Right?
7:22
SPEAKER_02: How how can I give to satisfy you and me?
7:27
SPEAKER_02: Right now, I used to tell myself, but I want to do that.
7:30
SPEAKER_02: I want to make that other person happy, right?
7:33
SPEAKER_02: But when that wanting you to be happy became me being unhappy, right?
7:39
SPEAKER_02: That's when I needed to sit back and go, wait a minute, it's changed, right?
7:44
SPEAKER_02: And am I giving myself, you know, the love and the attention that I need so that I can make you happy?
7:53
SPEAKER_02: And I think that's kind of what you were saying, right?
7:55
SPEAKER_00: I like what you said about that.
7:56
SPEAKER_00: Like, what is the real reason why I'm doing this?
7:59
SPEAKER_00: Am I doing it just because I'm trying to make somebody else happy at the expense of what's gonna make me happy?
8:06
SPEAKER_00: If we can do something because we want to help somebody, knowing that it's going to bring us happiness, then that's a good reason to do it.
8:13
SPEAKER_02: Right.
8:14
SPEAKER_02: And and you we have to be happy together, right?
8:16
SPEAKER_02: Like if you're giving and giving and giving and really getting nothing back, right, then what is your purpose?
8:23
SPEAKER_02: Right.
8:24
SPEAKER_02: And I think, I think that's what I went through.
8:26
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I there were times where I would sit back and go, but no, but that is really what I do want.
8:31
SPEAKER_02: You know, I might not want it in this way, but I do want that connection, or I do want to make her happy or or him happy, or you know, who whatever the situation was, you know.
8:42
SPEAKER_02: But I think it also comes down to, you know, my way or no way.
8:46
SPEAKER_02: Would you agree?
8:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
8:50
SPEAKER_02: I love this.
8:51
SPEAKER_02: I love these kind of conversations because it makes it makes me wonder like why we do the things that we do.
8:57
SPEAKER_02: What makes us want to make someone else happy and leave ourselves behind?
9:05
SPEAKER_00: I think even in my own personal experience over the last year, we do what we feel like we have to to keep something feeling the way that's comfortable for us.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: It's easier to make someone else happier if it means that we can stay comfortable.
9:27
SPEAKER_02: I think, yeah, like I think you hit that right on the nose.
9:30
SPEAKER_02: Like, I think comfort zone is important to all of us, right?
9:34
SPEAKER_02: And and and I used to say jump out of your comfort zone, but I don't really actually believe that anymore.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: I think that we need to be comfortable, you know, in order for us to feel safe and um I guess comfortable, we have to stay there, but we can expand that boundary, right?
9:53
SPEAKER_02: Like I can still be comfortable and push it just a little bit, right?
9:58
SPEAKER_02: And then, you know, maybe next time push it a little bit even further and still feel that I'm comfortable and safe.
10:05
SPEAKER_02: Right.
10:06
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
10:07
SPEAKER_02: Now, if if confidence had a voice, what would it be telling you to leave behind as you step into your next chapter?
10:17
SPEAKER_00: For me, I feel like I would be leaving behind comparison.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: I feel that it's very easy for us to fall into a trap of measuring our journey against other people's journey.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: But in doing that, we don't really know what their journey looks like.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: And so our success compared to someone else's success isn't a fair assessment because we each have our own challenges, we each have our own lessons to learn, and we can't see someone else's full picture.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: And so when we're comparing our success to someone else's success, it sets us up for failure because we're comparing their best with what we're probably comparing as our not so good parts.
11:04
SPEAKER_00: And so if I can focus more on putting my attention on the wins that I've had and the successes that I've seen in my own life and see the journey as being one of constant growth, that would be my goal.
11:18
SPEAKER_02: So that I again I really like that answer because I think we all compare, right?
11:24
SPEAKER_02: We all play that comparison game and comparison like we compare to others, but really what it comes down to is every action that we take comes down to our beliefs and our values, right?
11:38
SPEAKER_02: And every person has a different system of beliefs and values, and so what you value compared to what I value are probably very different, and yet I'm comparing my actions, my successes to yours, right?
11:55
SPEAKER_02: And so they don't they don't equal up, right?
11:59
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, and we're always looking externally for that, right?
12:02
SPEAKER_02: We're always like but instead of going inside and saying, okay, so why did I do what I do?
12:07
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, what what is the reason why I'm doing what I'm doing?
12:11
SPEAKER_02: And is it really aligned with what I truly want?
12:15
SPEAKER_02: Right.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: And so that's I love that you answered that.
12:18
SPEAKER_02: My husband and I actually just had a conversation the other day, and we were, and I was, I can't remember what the conversation was about, but I told him that I often compare myself to, you know, a relative of ours.
12:31
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, I used to she does everything like she works and she does, you know, gardening and she works in her husband's business and she like she's everywhere, right?
12:41
SPEAKER_02: And and then I was like, I focused so much on my kids that I didn't really have the energy for any of that, right?
12:49
SPEAKER_02: I mean, obviously I did the things that were important, but I didn't focus on any of the other things.
12:54
SPEAKER_02: And now when I look back at that, man, wait, maybe we would be even further ahead had I done that.
13:00
SPEAKER_02: But then I look at my kids and I think, well, if I'd have done that, I would have had to like um neglect my kids to some degree, right?
13:08
SPEAKER_02: And I think, you know, again, that's where the values and the beliefs come in because what is most important to you, that's where you put your focus, right?
13:16
SPEAKER_02: And I'm sure like you, I mean, you have six kids, you know, right?
13:19
SPEAKER_02: You know that if you neglect one, you're gonna neglect all, right, to some degree, right?
13:26
SPEAKER_00: So I think sometimes it isn't even necessarily even the neglect part of it.
13:30
SPEAKER_00: It's just I like what you said about the value part.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: So if I'm trying to grow my business right now, how much do I value the growth of my business over how much do I value the time spent with my children?
13:46
SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't have to be a neglect, even, it could just be something that is very important to me, is playing games with my kids.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: It brings me so much happiness.
13:57
SPEAKER_00: And so if I can take time every day just to play some games with my kids, that's what the value is for me because my kids are only going to be here with me for a certain period of time, and then they'll be off on their own.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: And then I have all this other time that I can be doing focusing on different things.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: But for me, the most valuable thing for me at this time of my life is time spent with my kids.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: And so it's just, I liked I liked how you said, like you can compare what other people are doing, but without knowing their values, it's not a fair comparison.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: Right.
14:32
SPEAKER_02: If they don't enjoy time with their kids, right, they're that's not gonna be a value to them.
14:38
SPEAKER_02: Not that they wouldn't, I mean, some people don't enjoy their time with their kids, but you know what I mean, right?
14:42
SPEAKER_02: If that's not important to them, right?
14:44
SPEAKER_02: And I'm reading a book right now, and off the top of my head, I can't remember what it's called.
14:48
SPEAKER_02: I think it's feel better fast or something.
14:51
SPEAKER_02: But he says, and he's a psychiatrist, but he says, in order to have a good relationship with your kids, all you need is 20 minutes a day with them.
15:01
SPEAKER_02: That's it, that's all it takes, right?
15:03
SPEAKER_02: Now, sometimes 20 minutes a day, it sounds, I mean, with six kids, I can't, that's two hours, right?
15:09
SPEAKER_02: I can't imagine, you know, like that's a long time, right?
15:12
SPEAKER_02: But it's 20 minutes for each kid in order for you for them to feel valued by you and want to be with you, right?
15:20
SPEAKER_02: That's not very much time, right?
15:23
SPEAKER_02: With 24 hours in a day, 20 minutes is nothing, right?
15:26
SPEAKER_02: So I that is that was a statistic that I was like, wow, right?
15:31
SPEAKER_02: Like that's that to me is a well.
15:34
SPEAKER_02: Right.
15:34
SPEAKER_02: Because you think I always used to think, you know, you need to spend like an afternoon, right?
15:39
SPEAKER_02: Well, we don't, I was a stay-at-home mom, and yeah, I mean, I could have made the time, but an afternoon with the kids every day, that was it see it felt like a lot, right?
15:48
SPEAKER_02: And I did spend, I mean, I was home, so I did spend the time with them, and I'm sure you did the same with your kids, you know.
15:55
SPEAKER_02: But you know, when when you look at it in a time perspective, 20 minutes is really not that much.
16:01
SPEAKER_02: Right.
16:01
SPEAKER_02: Anyway, let's get back to comfort and courage.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: What where did you live?
16:07
SPEAKER_02: Where did your life where in your life, let's I'm gonna get myself together here, where in your life did you choose courage over comfort?
16:16
SPEAKER_02: Obviously, that speech would have taken a lot of courage.
16:20
SPEAKER_02: Um, and what did that choice reveal about the direction you're taking now?
16:27
SPEAKER_00: I think for me, I was thinking that choosing courage over comfort is a daily action for me.
16:38
SPEAKER_00: Every day I have the choice: do I want to make phone calls?
16:41
SPEAKER_00: Do I want to send emails?
16:43
SPEAKER_00: Do I want to invite people to my workshop?
16:44
SPEAKER_00: Do I want to do a workshop?
16:46
SPEAKER_00: All of these things are taking courage when really sometimes it seems so much easier just to say, you know what, I'm just gonna go watch a movie.
16:54
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe in my case, I'm gonna play a few extra rounds of games with my children because that's comfort.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: And it's way easier to do the comfort than to reach out to all these people that feels intimidating to me.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: And so every day I have to make the choice of do I want to stay in my comfort zone or do I want to take a step towards the vision that I've created for a way to help other women?
17:23
SPEAKER_02: That's you know, that's another great answer.
17:25
SPEAKER_02: Because really, if you don't take that step, if you don't, you know, take on the courage to do it, if you're not gonna go anywhere.
17:32
SPEAKER_02: And I can I can tell you that's how it works because it's that's how it is for me, right?
17:37
SPEAKER_02: There's times where I have a list of things I want to do or I need to do, and I would much rather go sit on my couch and either read a book or play on my phone, right?
17:45
SPEAKER_02: Because that's easy, that's comfort, right?
17:49
SPEAKER_02: But at the end of the day, nothing grows, right?
17:52
SPEAKER_02: You just stay stuck in that same, yeah.
17:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love, I really like your answers here.
17:59
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
17:59
SPEAKER_02: And and and okay, so and when you're playing with your kids, I mean, I don't know how I think your your oldest is 18, am I right?
18:08
SPEAKER_02: Uh my oldest is actually 21.
18:10
SPEAKER_02: 21.
18:11
SPEAKER_02: So, I mean, they're not they're not babies anymore, but I would love to be have my kids like you know, 12, 14 again and you know, hang out with mom.
18:22
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, mom, let's let's play a game.
18:24
SPEAKER_02: I would if I could go back in time, I would love that, right?
18:27
SPEAKER_02: But it, I mean, let's face it, at 14, they were like, Mom, I don't want to play with you, right?
18:32
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm not playing with you, right?
18:34
SPEAKER_02: I mean, but I would, you know, if I could take that time back, I would take that time back.
18:38
SPEAKER_00: I feel very lucky that I have that in my life still.
18:40
SPEAKER_00: Uh, my youngest are 12.
18:43
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I have twins that are 12 and and so I still have that little bit of a younger, but I love this stage because everybody is very independent.
18:52
SPEAKER_00: Right.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: But uh my 19-year-old is probably one of my most gung-ho game players with me.
18:59
SPEAKER_00: She'll play a game anytime.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love that.
19:03
SPEAKER_00: I love that chance to connect.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: And I was gonna say too, like, I feel like uh with being a mom, it's not even always the amount of time, it's the ability to listen to what they're trying to say and just hear them without having to try and fix the problem.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: They just want to be heard, and the more they feel heard, the more they'll open up to you.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: So um, maybe that's one of the reasons why I like playing games with them is it's a chance just to play and talk, and there's no agenda, there's just a chance to yeah.
19:36
SPEAKER_02: Do you find yourself coaching your kids when they come to you and say, Mom, this is what happened to me?
19:40
SPEAKER_02: Do you find yourself like using your coaching skills with them?
19:44
SPEAKER_00: It would depend probably on the child and the circumstance.
19:48
SPEAKER_00: Ah, um, I'm definitely finding myself using different tools that I'm learning to help my son.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, my son is a big part of this whole journey that I came on, and uh I share my story about him in a lot of different areas, but um he's autistic, and so I'm always looking for ways to help him learn how to self-regulate a little bit differently, um, and try and encourage him to become his best self while still giving him space to make his own choices, I guess I would say.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: And so um even in trying to parent him or parent my children in general, sometimes I find myself just trying to coach myself, like what is the best way to handle this situation in this moment in a way that will help them grow to become their best selves.
20:53
SPEAKER_02: Right.
20:54
SPEAKER_02: And that, you know, really I think at the end of the day, that's probably the best, the best, you know, um way to take that, right?
21:03
SPEAKER_02: We they have to learn, and you know, I struggled with this a lot, especially with the teenage years.
21:09
SPEAKER_02: They have to figure it out, right?
21:11
SPEAKER_02: They we really, they like you said earlier, they want us just to listen, right?
21:16
SPEAKER_02: Just they want to be heard like everybody else in the world.
21:19
SPEAKER_02: We just want to be heard, right?
21:21
SPEAKER_02: And if you could be just a listening ear without giving the advice and trying to fix the problem, they can figure it out because we all have the answers in us, right?
21:32
SPEAKER_02: We just need that opportunity to express it because sometimes, and most of us, I I believe I've read somewhere that once we say it out loud, it not only feels real, but all the the like the stuff inside us starts to move and it, you know, the the solutions start coming up.
21:54
SPEAKER_02: So that's that's really awesome.
21:56
SPEAKER_02: I don't really know a whole lot of um, you know, parenting autistic children.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: I know that there's you know a wide spectrum, and they sometimes, you know, I just finished watching the show Parenthood on Netflix, and there's a child in there that has Asperger's, which is used to be part of the autism spectrum.
22:14
SPEAKER_02: I don't know now, I guess it doesn't really exist.
22:16
SPEAKER_02: I'm not really sure on how it works, but there's also like an adult who has it but was never diagnosed.
22:23
SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, like the dynamic of living a life with it and raising a child with this is like it's unbelievable because you know, like as a parent, I know that three of my kids it doesn't always work the same with all three kids.
22:40
SPEAKER_02: And then you throw in, you know, a disorder.
22:43
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if it's called a disorder.
22:44
SPEAKER_02: I hate to like I don't like to label that, but you know, this autism, you know, this poor child cannot understand what, you know, like the parents are trying to explain to him.
22:54
SPEAKER_02: And so you watching that is like, wow, like parents had to do a lot of self-coaching, right?
23:01
SPEAKER_02: They had to work it out first with themselves before they could handle him.
23:06
SPEAKER_02: So I can kind of relate with what you're saying, or at least understand with what you're saying.
23:10
SPEAKER_02: I don't, I didn't, you know, I didn't have to deal with that myself, but you know, I know, I mean, it's there's lots.
23:17
SPEAKER_02: I know lots of people that have had to deal with it.
23:20
SPEAKER_02: And I can only imagine how difficult it could be.
23:23
SPEAKER_02: And with six kids, honestly, I think you're amazing, right?
23:29
SPEAKER_02: I mean, like I think, yeah, three kids was difficult.
23:33
SPEAKER_02: I can't even imagine any more than that.
23:35
SPEAKER_02: So good, good on you.
23:38
SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you.
23:39
SPEAKER_02: What now for the new year 2026?
23:42
SPEAKER_02: Uh, do you have a dream or a desire that you're quietly holding that maybe now deserves to take center stage in your world?
23:54
SPEAKER_00: I think the dream that feels most alive inside that I would love to have become center stage in my life for the new year would be retreats.
24:06
SPEAKER_00: I would love to host retreats for women, uh, where I can give people a place to come and feel rejuvenated, connect with other people, and be able to gain clarity on their purpose and their dreams.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: I want to be able to build an experience that reminds women how powerful and capable they are and really help them to return to their lives feeling inspired and alive again.
24:35
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that sounds amazing.
24:37
SPEAKER_02: I uh I think retreats are so popular right now, and there's so many different kinds, right?
24:43
SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's people, you know, there's go away retreats, there's you know, come to my house retreats, there's let's go to a restaurant, you know, like there's so many different ways of having it.
24:53
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, women look forward to that.
24:56
SPEAKER_02: I don't know, I don't know if men are into it as much, but women like I like we heard we hear the word retreat and we're like, oh, where is it?
25:04
SPEAKER_02: What's it about?
25:04
SPEAKER_02: Can I come?
25:05
SPEAKER_02: Right?
25:05
SPEAKER_02: Like it just seems to be like the thing right now, right?
25:09
SPEAKER_02: So it's great that you're getting into that.
25:11
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I know you haven't have you started planning any yet, or is that just something that's maybe you know further down the road?
25:19
SPEAKER_00: Um more my goal, my goal is to have one, well, at least one for the new year, but I do not have any dates set yet, or picked a place even where I would love it to be.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: So it's definitely kind of in that quiet dream place right now.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
25:37
SPEAKER_00: But I mean, I look forward to having it come alive.
25:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, and it's starting it all, everything starts with the dream.
25:42
SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, dreams are allowed to come to life at some point, right?
25:46
SPEAKER_02: And it might not be for this year, but at least you know you're working towards it.
25:50
SPEAKER_02: So, how can you lead yourself with more compassion, clarity, and conviction moving forward?
26:03
SPEAKER_00: I I don't know if you saw it at the thing that the event that we were at.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: I had on the table, I had a vendor table, and on the table I had a paper for people to read.
26:15
SPEAKER_00: If they wanted, they could take one home.
26:16
SPEAKER_00: And it was called the Bamboo Within.
26:19
SPEAKER_00: And this has become something that I I read to myself often as a reminder of who I'm becoming.
26:29
SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't know if you know much about the story of how bamboo grows.
26:34
SPEAKER_02: Not really, no.
26:36
SPEAKER_00: So you can start with a bamboo, and the first year it will grow maybe an inch, and the second year it'll grow maybe an inch, and the third year another inch, and the fourth year another inch.
26:49
SPEAKER_00: And then by about year five, all of a sudden it just shoots up several feet, like somewhere between nine and ninety, with a crazy amount of growth in just a very short period of time, and so you look at those first four years where it seemed like nothing is happening, but when you look really closely, those first four years was all about the roots growing and developing, and so I took that idea and kind of created this um kind of like a meditation almost, or just like a something to ponder on, and I called it the bamboo within.
27:34
SPEAKER_00: And essentially, just kind of on a smaller scale, it's it's reminding me that I'm like a bamboo.
27:43
SPEAKER_00: There's all this time that's happening in the beginning years where I'm growing my roots, where I'm learning the lessons that will help me be a stronger, better, more confident version of myself, which will give me a better support system for myself when that big growth, big growth comes.
28:03
SPEAKER_00: And so whenever I feel like I'm struggling on where I'm at at the moment, feeling like I'm not doing enough or having the success that I felt like I wanted to be having at this time, I remind myself that I'm just in that early stages of the bamboo growth where you can't see that big growth on the outside because the big growth is all happening inside.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: And so the more I can have compassion on myself to allow myself that time to grow my roots and really become strong in who I am, then the more I can go forward with more intention and clarity in in how I live my life.
28:45
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
28:46
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
28:47
SPEAKER_02: I didn't, I think I actually remember you telling me something about the bamboo.
28:52
SPEAKER_02: Now you said it, when it's like grows slowly for the first few years and then it just kind of you know grows.
28:57
SPEAKER_02: And I think bamboo is also one of those things that you can't like you can't kill it.
29:03
SPEAKER_02: Am I right?
29:04
SPEAKER_02: Like it's kind of like always there.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: That one I'm not sure about.
29:08
SPEAKER_00: Now I'm gonna have to look into that.
29:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I it I think I heard sometime one time that you you can't really kill a bamboo tree.
29:16
SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, I don't I can't grow a tree, so I don't know, right?
29:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm not green thumb at all, so I I could probably kill it.
29:25
SPEAKER_02: But I I think I've heard something like that.
29:28
SPEAKER_02: So if in 2026 were titled The Beginning of Me, what would your first chapter be called?
29:39
SPEAKER_00: I think I would call it Becoming Me.
29:45
SPEAKER_00: Because I think that this chapter would be about reminding myself that I'm not reinventing myself.
29:51
SPEAKER_00: It's about returning to who I've always been, beneath the layers of expectations and the layers of fear.
30:00
SPEAKER_00: It's about being able to stand in my own truth and being rooted in love and creating from a place of authenticity.
30:11
SPEAKER_00: I want to be able to remember to take away the expectations and living from those shoulds and giving myself space to become me.
30:24
SPEAKER_02: That's absolutely beautiful.
30:26
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
30:27
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
30:28
SPEAKER_02: And I think 2026 is going to be an awesome year.
30:32
SPEAKER_02: You know, I mean, you've you've come out of your comfort zone a lot this year, right?
30:37
SPEAKER_02: And I feel like, you know, you know where you're headed, right?
30:42
SPEAKER_02: You you've got you've got your feet on the ground.
30:45
SPEAKER_02: You've and I mean it's pretty obvious to me that you know where you're where you have to go.
30:49
SPEAKER_02: And we're all we all have setbacks, you know, like there's nothing carved in stone that once you get your feet planted, it's just go from there.
30:57
SPEAKER_02: I mean, we all have those, you know, those setbacks.
31:00
SPEAKER_02: Growth doesn't happen just like that.
31:02
SPEAKER_02: It, you know, you you have to take the little baby steps to do the next thing that makes you feel happy, first of all, because if you're not happy with the growth, it doesn't become, it's not gonna be growth, right?
31:14
SPEAKER_02: If you're not feeling happy and excited about what you're doing, you're gonna pull yourself back, right?
31:20
SPEAKER_02: And you you've been, I mean, to be named the shyest person in high school to standing up in front of a stage, you know, standing up on a stage in front of 200 people.
31:31
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I don't know how long ago high school was, that's a huge feat, right?
31:36
SPEAKER_02: I don't think, you know, I mean, standing in front of 30 people like it makes me like kind of my my throat kind of closes up, right?
31:46
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I don't know that I could do that, right?
31:48
SPEAKER_02: And it's like in person, like I I don't have a problem talking on the phone or on the camera, right?
31:54
SPEAKER_02: But on the in front, like standing in front of a group of people, I I don't know why that is.
32:00
SPEAKER_02: I don't, you know, I am not ready for that.
32:03
SPEAKER_02: You did it, and you did it with grace, and you like honestly, I was like, that's her first time, right?
32:10
SPEAKER_02: Like, there's no way, like she you you didn't sound nervous, you didn't sound unprepared.
32:16
SPEAKER_02: It was beautiful.
32:17
SPEAKER_02: So watching you and then hearing your and you know, hearing where you're wanting to go, I think it's absolutely beautiful.
32:25
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
32:26
SPEAKER_02: I appreciate that.
32:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, did is there anything sorry?
32:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm excited for the new year, yes, and so you should be.
32:34
SPEAKER_02: I think 2000, I think things in the world are I I get this feeling, and I'm not psychic in any way, but I get this feeling that 2026 is gonna be very different from 2025.
32:45
SPEAKER_02: Now, that could be just for me, right?
32:48
SPEAKER_02: Because I mean, my husband and I have gone into we've kind of we're going into a transition period, but I also think that the world is gonna be a little bit different, and I don't know in what way.
32:59
SPEAKER_02: I don't follow the news, I don't follow politics, so I don't really know what's going on, but at the same time, I just feel like there's a shift coming.
33:07
SPEAKER_02: So let's hope, let's hope I'm right, and I hope it's for the positive because we've had enough negative.
33:13
SPEAKER_02: Is there anything that you would like to add?
33:16
SPEAKER_02: Uh tell our custom our c our listeners, you know, maybe a piece of advice for the end of the year.
33:23
SPEAKER_00: Would want to share.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: And one of the lessons that I've really been trying to learn myself over this last year, um for me, this last year has been a very challenging year.
33:33
SPEAKER_00: Um, a lot of personal growth in myself through some circumstances that I've been through and uh also in in being able to work with a couple of clients and have it come up in their conversations or in conversations with them.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: I think my biggest message would be for people to hear that you are enough because how you are exactly in this moment is who you need to be in this moment.
34:00
SPEAKER_00: And yes, there's always room for growth and becoming better.
34:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't I don't want someone to say that, oh, I'm enough means that I don't have to to make changes or or do anything.
34:12
SPEAKER_00: But I think it's so important for for people and maybe especially women to know that you are enough right now with everything that that you've you've got.
34:24
SPEAKER_00: What you have to offer is enough.
34:28
SPEAKER_02: That is beautiful.
34:29
SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for that.
34:30
SPEAKER_02: And I think you're right.
34:31
SPEAKER_02: Every we all need to hear it, right?
34:33
SPEAKER_02: And and I think we all, like we as a every single person in the world needs to hear it.
34:39
SPEAKER_02: But you're right.
34:40
SPEAKER_02: I think women, women need to hear it maybe more.
34:44
SPEAKER_02: I'm not, I don't know that that's true, but as a woman, right, I I feel like we need to hear it more because that's who I talk to, and we all seem to believe that we are not, right?
34:57
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, thank you for that.
34:58
SPEAKER_02: Well, this has been awesome.
35:00
SPEAKER_02: I knew it was gonna be a great conversation.
35:03
SPEAKER_02: I had, you know, I I mean, I I just knew.
35:06
SPEAKER_02: I knew that, you know, just from chatting with you, you know, this last few months, I know that um life is made to change, right?
35:16
SPEAKER_02: We can't always be the same person.
35:18
SPEAKER_02: And I think I I I feel like there's a lot of um, I don't know what the word is, but we feel like we're supposed to be the same person all the time, right?
35:30
SPEAKER_02: This is who I was in high school, so that's who I have to stay as, right?
35:36
SPEAKER_02: But I mean, it when we look back, I mean, in our 40s and our 50s, we've been through more than high school.
35:42
SPEAKER_02: High school is such a small, small, small, tiny part of our life, right?
35:46
SPEAKER_02: When we start getting into the adult world and then, you know, getting married and having families, I mean, that creates change in all of us.
35:54
SPEAKER_02: And we need to allow that change to become who we are, right?
36:00
SPEAKER_02: Or become like we become that change.
36:02
SPEAKER_02: I don't know the right way of you know forming that sentence, but you know, we can't always be the same, right?
36:08
SPEAKER_02: And when we're in our 70s and 80s, we're gonna look back and say the same thing about our 40s and 50s, right?
36:14
SPEAKER_02: Like that's who shaped, that's what shaped us to be who we are right now, right?
36:20
SPEAKER_02: And I think, like you said, we not only are we enough, but we need to accept that, right?
36:26
SPEAKER_02: We need to accept that we are who we are because of what we've done and you know who we were put here to be.
36:33
SPEAKER_02: Awesome, awesome.
36:34
SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much.
36:36
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for this opportunity.
36:37
SPEAKER_00: I it was a pleasure.
36:39
SPEAKER_02: Oh, it was a great pleasure, thank you.
36:41
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for tuning in to Confidence in Bloom.
36:43
SPEAKER_02: I hope today's conversation reminded you that you're not alone on this journey and that your confidence grows every time you tell that itty bitty shitty committee to hush.
36:52
SPEAKER_02: If you're ready to take this even deeper, I'd love to invite you to the Bloom Room, a nurturing community where women come together to release self-doubt, reconnect with themselves, and bloom into the truest version of who they're meant to be.
37:05
SPEAKER_02: Until next time, remember, confidence isn't something you find, it's something that blooms from within.
37:12
SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: This show was brought to you by Divas That Care.
37:16
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