Latest / Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD / This Is Why Asperger’s Syndrome Relationships Can Be Hard (3 FACTS)

Transcript

This Is Why Asperger’s Syndrome Relationships Can Be Hard (3 FACTS) · Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD

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  Hey, so this is a video all about why Asperger's syndrome
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  relationships can be had. Here are three reasons why all
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  that's coming up. Hey guys, welcome back to the
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  aspy world. My name is Dan, I have
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  Asperger's Syndrome, ADHDOCD, and dyslexia, and I make weekly
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  videos on this type of content. So if you're new around here and
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  you'd like to learn more about the subject, remember to hit
• 0:27
  that subscribe button by clicking the notification bell
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  down below. And if you're watching over on
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  Facebook, we should give this page a like and follow to see
• 0:33
  more videos just like this one every week.
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  If you're watching on Instagram TV, make sure to give us a count
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  of follow to see daily autism content from me.
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  Guys, what's going on? Awesome.
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  Good video today. I love doing this type of video
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  because I feel like people get the most out of these videos.
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  And if you haven't already, make sure to download my free Autism
• 0:49
  Life Hacks PDF which will be available at autismhacks.net.
• 0:53
  Links will be in the description and everywhere around here if
• 0:56
  you need to get it, but I'll put the actual web address on the
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  screen. What is up guys?
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  Welcome back where we think differently daily.
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  What's up, Different thinkers? Cool video.
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  I want to do a video on relationships because I get a
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  lot of questions from people asking about relationships and
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  what does it all mean and yadda yadda.
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  And so I was like, okay, I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll do
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  for you all the autism relationships.
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  Okay. So let's just clear something
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  up. That Asperger syndrome is now
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  actually called just Autism Spectrum disorder.
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  Asperger Syndrome was moved into the Autumn Spectrum Disorder
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  umbrella because Asperger syndrome was an unusual term to
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  use when it's just autism and makes life just a lot easier.
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  OK, so I am in a relationship. I've been in a relationship with
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  my girlfriend now for like 11 years, almost 12 years, and we
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  have a son and and everything. We live together and stuff like
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  that. And so I thought it'd be really
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  cool video to do a video talking about reasons why autism
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  relationships can be hard and with like 3-3 kind of like facts
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  and stuff about why it'll be hard.
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  Because if I feel like if we know why relationships can be
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  challenging and difficult, then we may be able to create these
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  solutions for it or at least see the error in our ways.
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  If that makes sense. I don't know.
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  So hopefully this video it resonates with you.
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  If it does, please give this video a thumbs up.
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  Let me know If you like this type of video, that'd be super
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  awesome. And if you have anything to add,
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  just pop in a comment down below because I read every single
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  comment and that would be super, super dope.
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  Okay cool. So the first one is emotional
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  communication issues. Now, people on the autism
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  spectrum have major issues with communicating their emotions and
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  their feelings to another person, you know.
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  And this creates a lot of difficulties, especially when
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  you're in romantic relationships, because a
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  relationship needs to be open and that flow of communication
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  needs to stay open and you need to express how you feel about
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  things and how they feel about things back to you because you
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  need to understand each other. It's it's part of, you know, a
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  relationship and who you are in that relationship and that
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  relationship as a whole. So in terms of people in the
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  autism spectrum, because autism is a communication issue, it
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  impacts the brain and the brain's ability to communicate
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  with certain things around them. It is a difficult thing for
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  people in the autism spectrum to deal with.
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  And so how they communicate their emotions may be completely
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  vastly different to the average person or the typical person who
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  says, oh, you know, I'm feeling like this, blah blah, blah.
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  It's difficult for people in the autism spectrum to do this.
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  So I feel like this is probably one of like the number one
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  reason why there may be tension of, you know, unknown tension
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  within relationships with people in the autism spectrum.
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  Because just knowing what the other person is emotionally
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  feeling at the moment in time, not being able to communicate,
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  that could be quite distressing. And if you know what I mean,
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  Like, you know, it could be quite difficult.
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  So yeah, there's the first one. OK, so #2 is empathy.
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  Now, I'm not saying that autistic people don't have
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  empathy, but in the the, the format and the text that I'm
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  talking about here, the ability to understand how another person
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  is feeling like putting yourself in their shoes is difficult for
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  someone on the autism spectrum to get just like that.
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  Because a lot of people say to to typical people would say,
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  think about how the other person's feeling.
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  Put yourself in their shoes and somebody could just do it like
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  that really, really quickly just by thinking about their
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  situation. But people on the autism
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  spectrum don't have that ability to instantly just think about
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  that other person's situation from their point of view of
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  their perspective. It has to kind of be something
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  that you take a little bit of time to understand the nurture,
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  that that thought process and think about it.
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  So having empathy for other people's feelings in certain
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  moments and certain situations within relationships is
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  difficult and can cause excessive tension.
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  Because if someone's upset about something that you've done, then
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  you would never be able to understand why they're upset
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  about it. If you can't place yourself in
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  their life on their shoes or their situation for a certain
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  amount of time, right, you get what I'm on about.
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  So This is why I find that having you know, empathy issues
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  within a relationship can cause a lot of stress.
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  But there are ways around it. I guess you could just tell a
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  person to explain to you how they feel and then they would be
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  able to tell you how they feel rather than having to guess from
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  being in their shoes. Because, you know, it is
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  difficult for people to do and some obvious reasons.
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  Relationships can be hard for anybody if they're having
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  difficulties with empathy in that kind of respect.
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  Now #3 is an interesting one. This is short term memory.
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  Now look, it's no new finding that people in the autism
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  spectrum have like memory issues, right?
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  And short term memory issues. They have really good like long
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  term memory. But short term memory issues are
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  really common within autism spectrum.
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  Now this can cause huge issues within a relationship when
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  trying to remember small things that make relationships a
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  working partnership. Like maybe you forget that your
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  partner likes the the remote control, also the TV in a
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  certain area and then you'll forget about that.
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  Or they say can you just remember to switch that light
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  off before going out. But because the shots of
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  everything you forget and these small things could upset them
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  because they said like, hey could you do this for me?
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  And then you didn't, but not on purpose.
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  You're not trying to upset them, but it's just that you did it
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  because you have shots of memory issues.
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  Like I've come across this many a time and it is annoying and I
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  wish I didn't have shots of memory issues.
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  I wish I could just be like, oh okay cool, this is awesome.
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  But it doesn't always work like that.
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  And because of that, because of those issues, I feel like
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  there's a lot of tension that gets put into people's
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  relationships. You know when you when you're on
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  the autism spectrum and you have just these three factors, I
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  mean, this is just a small snapshot.
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  These are just three factors of why relationship is difficult
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  for people in the autism spectrum.
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  When you add in relationships in general, your own stuff going on
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  life, you get your work, you've got maybe school stuff, it just
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  becomes this whole thing like this.
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  It can be difficult, but don't give up on it.
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  It doesn't mean that relationships are going to fail
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  just because there's issues in relationship.
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  Not at all. I'm doing is highlighting where
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  areas that could be improved upon.
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  I'm not highlighting areas to say that this is doomed.
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  Not at all. Relationships can be strong and
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  all those people who are married, children and you know,
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  you know, all kinds of different relationships that autistic
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  people are in and they have great relationships and they've
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  married for years and years and it's absolutely fine.
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  There's no issues there. There's nothing, there's nothing
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  goes against it. I mean, you can't do it.
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  It just means that this a fact of the matter.
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  Now. If you think that this video can
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  help somebody, please share it on Facebook, Twitter and
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  Instagram and give it a thumbs up.
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  Leave me a comment if you'd like to add anything and I'll see you
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  guys in the next one.