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No More Glow Up – Accepting and Embracing Your Growth · Conversations Beyond Borders

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, I'm Susan.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Laura.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, welcome back to Conversations Beyond Borders.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: We're at season two, episode eight, Laura.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, Susan, where are we taking this conversation today?
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, as usual, I have a question for you.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: When was the last time you opened your phone without somebody telling you there was something about yourself you could improve?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, probably never.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Your skin, something about your hair, your weight, certainly your hormones, your morning routine.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yes, the fall clothes, your house, your career, and don't forget the sleep.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Apparently, Laura, we're all but one supplement and a better nighttime routine away from becoming the woman we've always dreamed of being.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: And don't forget about those cold plunges.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because apparently now we have to be freezing while we're improving ourselves.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I am such a baby.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: It takes me forever to ease myself into a cool, refreshing swimming pool.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: I sure as hell am not plunging into anything below 80 degrees.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: Aha, neither am I.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: But it got me thinking about this whole idea of the glow-up.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: I actually like taking care of myself.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: I like clothes.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: I like doing my hair.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: I exercise.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: I like learning new things.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: No, for sure, me too.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: I started taking a Pilates class a few months ago and I absolutely love it.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm also trying to find time to go to Ulta to talk to them about a good foundation for my mature skin.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: Because I don't know about you, but I found that trusty go-to foundation is not wearing like it used to.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no kidding.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: And about the foundation that goes on is white.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh God.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and is supposed to match your skin.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think they need they need to go back to the drawing board.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: So, but this isn't about giving all of that up.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's just more about wondering when taking care of ourselves became this never-ending project of improving ourselves.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because at this age, I don't know if I want another reinvention.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh god, neither do I.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_02: Seriously, I am happy with where I'm at for the most part.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I often feel that even if there are things that I'm not happy with, is there a realistic solution that works without breaking the bank and without all the risk?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm being honest, I'm about to be 65 in a couple of days.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: And that number caught me a little by surprise.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: I remember, I don't know about you, that when my parents were in their 60s, Laura, I sometimes look in the mirror and I see how age has caught up with me.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: So if you've found one of those eye creams that promises to remove my under-eye circles, let me know.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe, just maybe it's time to get more comfortable with the one who's already here.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_02: So let's talk about all this pressure in midlife to, I'm gonna put it in air quotes, glow up.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know about you, Susan, but my social media is filled with all sorts of people pushing their new skincare line, formulated specifically for the older woman.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: And you can't really escape the message that there's always something you could be doing better.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, I agree about the skincare.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think every celebrity out there has decided that the skin line is their new profitability off.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: Right, their new revenue stream.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there we go.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: But you know what, Laura?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just about beauty, it's about stronger muscles, walking 10,000 steps.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: Are we eating enough protein?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Certainly, are we drinking the gallons of water they suggest?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: Meditate and again sleep those eight hours.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: Eight hours?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know anyone in menopause who gets a solid eight hours of sleep.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, I don't think I've had a solid eight hours of sleep since 1989.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'd love to sleep eight hours, so please just tell my body.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: But then somehow we're supposed to keep our house organized, maintain our friendships, have hobbies, travel, manage our finances, keep learning, and figure out the next chapter.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's all the things collectively.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: For me, all the advertising makes me doubt myself.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: Should I be doing something?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: Do I need to be doing something?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Friends may be doing things like just start asking myself if I should be joining in.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: What do they call that?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh FOMO, I believe.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: It sounds like keeping up with the Joneses midlife edition.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: Now that's funny.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: Now I believe some of these things are truly important, like the fitness.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: At this age, we really need to make our health a priority.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: Things like bone density really requires that we spend more time in the gym.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's true.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's the tricky part.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Exercise is good for us, isn't it?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Taking care of our skin makes us feel good.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: I certainly believe learning something new is good.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Wanting a beautiful home isn't a problem.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: But I think here's the question, Laura.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the question we should be concerned about.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Why am I doing it?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: Am I doing this because I genuinely enjoy it?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Or because somewhere along the way I've absorbed the message that the woman I am right now still isn't quite good enough.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: This really, really pisses me off.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, because as girls, we are told we can't do certain things and we aren't enough, or we are too much, or you can't dress that way, or you can't play that sport, or if we show emotion, we're dramatic, or we need to air quotes, tone it down.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, agree.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: We, you know, I mean, we finally get to a point in life where we start to feel more confident with who we are, but now we're inundated with this next level of messaging that we aren't enough, or we are somehow less than because our skin isn't as resilient and our hair is starting to gray.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my goodness.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: I agreed.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe, maybe not the part about starting to gray, because I think I'm already there.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I do think social media has made this harder because we're constantly seeing women who supposedly figured something out we haven't.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, exactly.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_02: Just giving us another reason to doubt ourselves.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, always.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I will admit, I am sometimes very susceptible to it.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'll see something and think, hmm, okay, maybe I need that.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: I would say for me, it depends on what that is.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: I'm definitely keeping the health and fashion advice, but for the rest of it, yeah, somebody else can have it.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, I got suckered into thinking that I couldn't even walk out of the house without, you know, getting the complete wardrobe capsule and wondering why I don't have a red light mask.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I have to say I do love my red light therapy and I would recommend it.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's the point.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: At some juncture in our life, don't we get to decide which things actually matter to us?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because I don't want to spend this part of my life constantly looking for what's wrong with it.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, no, no, no.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: To make that your focus, in my opinion, is a tragic waste of time and energy.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: We are supposed to be entering some of the best years of our lives.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: And in this second chapter, I want to be confident, happy, and spend my time making memories with my family and not worried about posing just right for that next social media post.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's so true.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe that's the difference.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: There's nothing wrong with wanting to change something or embracing a trend that actually makes sense for us.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: The problem is feeling as though we always have to.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so easy to fall into the trap.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: I believe when we're younger, growth is so obvious.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: You grow up, you graduate high school, maybe you go to college, get a degree.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: And then you move on to building your career.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: Along the way, you get promoted, maybe you get married, buy a house, and raise kids.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: There's always that next box to check.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: So it's very obvious when you're moving forward in life.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: I know you said it exactly.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: Growth looked like movement, Laura.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: Growth was, you know, about setting goals.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you heard the words bettering yourself when you were growing up, but to me, that meant living a life that could provide more opportunity for your children.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that generational improvement.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: For me, becoming consumed with turning the clock backward as a midlife woman just feels strange.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like if I had to go back and be a woman in my 30s again, I don't know.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Wouldn't you want to?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: I want to bring the wisdom I paid so dearly for.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: So if that's possible, I'm in.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: No, I absolutely agree.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: I think it would be amazing to raise our kids with the knowledge we have now.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know about you, but when I think of growth in midlife, I believe it's a bit quieter as we age.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: True.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: We no longer have the same checklist as our peers.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: We get to choose our own adventure.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_02: We do.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Susan, when I think about growth in midlife, I believe it's a bit quieter as we age.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: We no longer have the same checklist as our peers.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: We actually get to choose our own adventure.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yay! Learning how to maybe better nourish our bodies, how to work out to meet our new health goals.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, things like the treadmill.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: There's no way I could spend an hour every day on the treadmill.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_02: Hallelujah.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: One, I don't want to put my time and energy there.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_02: And two, I have a knee that probably would not be okay with that sort of abuse.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: True.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: True.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: So if you think about growth, at least in the fitness part of it for me, yeah.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: Today it's more about building bone density and muscle mass and maintaining a certain level of agility.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_02: I will say that that I am very blessed with some amazing genetics that look like it'll probably take me well into my 90s, maybe even closer to 100.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, I want to take care of this vessel.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: So those those years, those extra years are productive and filled with joy.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Laura, that that that is really, really thoughtful because sometimes I think growth now looks like knowing when I don't want something and not needing three days to justify it.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: Oh God, exactly.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think as we age, somewhere in our subconscious, we realize we don't have as much time left?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: So we are a little less tolerant for doing anything that feels like a waste of time.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we've talked a lot about this, Laura.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think I do spend more time lately realizing I am on the back end of my life at 65.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it's easier to choose who and what I want to do with my time.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: But I think the important growth piece for me is that I carry less guilt about disappointing others that still may expect me to do something I may have done in the past, hey, or I expected I would do.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I suppose that's why the glow up obsession doesn't always resonate with me.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: So you are realizing what's truly important in life, and that constantly proving yourself isn't where you want to put your energy anymore.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: So doesn't that come with age, Laura?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: The wisdom and the realization of what is important in life.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: I also what do you feel like you don't need to prove anymore?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_02: I will say I am much less concerned with proving that I can handle everything.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: I, you know, I found there is no word for keeping the house perfect, being perfect at work, looking put together every day, saying the right things, doing the right things.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, girl, say that again.
• 12:55
  unknown: Right?
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: So when I was younger, there was a strong sense of familial expectations to keep up appearances that included putting a lot of work into making our lives look perfect.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: The funny thing, when I dropped that facade, the world didn't stop.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: Life went on as normal, and in return, I actually became a much more relaxed and happier person.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Laura, I agree.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: There's something so freeing about taking back the control of your life and really not letting your life run you.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: The growth we're talking about is allowing ourselves the space and the freedom to decide what is right for us, not allowing all that pressure from anywhere to convince us we need something we don't.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: What about you, Susan?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: What have you released or embraced in this midlife era?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh well, I think I'm getting more comfortable with that word, enough.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: But let me say, not in the question necessarily, am I enough?
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: But that I don't measure my worth by things outside of me.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: I have enough friends, enough things, and enough distractions.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: How do you balance becoming comfortable with enough?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: Well, still having goals you want to pursue.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, that's true.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's the part I really want to make clear.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: I want to grow, learn, and experience.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think I'm just getting better at recognizing that it must be done in the skin I'm in.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: I do want to travel more.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: I want this podcast to grow.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: I want to keep creating.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: I want to learn new things.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: I have a new plan to learn to crochet.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: Let me know how that works for you.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: I picked up some little kit from, I don't know, Marshall's for$4.99 that was designated as easy for children, you know, nine to ten or something.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's encouraging.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: That is encouraging.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: Let's say, and I grew up crocheting.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: I used to crochet when I was like in middle school.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: So you are not going to be my instructor on this.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: YouTube.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: I've got a gray girl on YouTube.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: See, there's lots of things I haven't done yet.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: But you know what?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want every goal to come from believing I need fixing.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: Say more about that.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, the growth isn't always something we can see.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's feeling more confident, more comfortable, more at ease.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta say, there's no before and after picture for finally feeling like yourself.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_02: True, but wouldn't that be great if we had like the before and after photo that you could see that progress?
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, all that internal growth.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, all that that that then could help us glow on the outside.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think what we're saying, right?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: No, absolutely, absolutely.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_02: So, Susan, I do have another question.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, of course you do.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: How do we know the difference between accepting ourselves and just settling?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: Because I think that's where people get uncomfortable.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: Settling feels like we're giving up.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's an important question, Laura, because acceptance can sound passive.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like, well, this is as good as it's gonna get.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not really what I'm talking about.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, I think acceptance is more like being honest about where you are without immediately turning it into a problem you gotta solve.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I like that.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: I like that.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for example, my body has changed.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's not exactly breaking news at this age.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: Mine too.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: I can still exercise, I can still take care of myself, I can still buy the clothes I love.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: Unfortunately, Dawn.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe unfortunately what?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: I can still buy the clothes I love, and that's gonna disappoint Dawn.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: But maybe I don't need to wake up every morning at war with the fact that I don't look like I did in my 40s.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't move like I do used to in my 40s.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: There is some grief in those facts, but I don't want to miss the wonderful things that are possible at this age because I can't get beyond that grief.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: 35-year-old Susan had her life.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: She had three kids at home.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: It was hard.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: But Laura, it was wonderful.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: I but I'm just not sure I want her life back.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_02: I would have to say I would go back in a hot minute.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: No way.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I would.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: I would.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: I loved everything about that time in my life.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: I loved where we lived, I loved my friends, I loved raising my kids.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, regardless of how challenging the schedules were to manage, I really did love my life.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I did too.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: But maybe that's the distinction for me.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: I can miss that version of my life and even wish I could have pieces of it back without believing that everything about being younger was better.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: Because if I'm being fair, I can't just take the parts I miss, I'd have to take the whole package.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's that's the reality, Laura.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's exactly it.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: That nobody says, I'd like my younger thighs back.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: And while you're at it, could you give me the three kids who need rides in three different directions?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe accepting who we are now isn't settling.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's arriving.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I like that arriving.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: That reminds me of how you feel when you visit someplace new and exciting.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, I do too, because arriving doesn't mean you're finished.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: We're obviously not finished, Laura.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: We're still changing, we're still curious, we're still learning, but maybe we've reached a point where growth doesn't always mean rejecting the person we see in the mirror.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_02: We need to look at her and welcome her, embrace her, yes, respect her for the life she's lived, yeah, and how that life helped mold the unique, amazing woman who's finally arrived.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right, and I think that's that's where this whole no more glow up idea landed for me.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want women hearing us saying stop caring.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: Quite the opposite.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Wear the makeup, get stronger, change your hair.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: Heck, learn Italian, learn to crochet, start the business.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: Buy those ridiculous shoes.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: I say wear whatever you feel good in and makes you happy.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: Right, obviously, do what genuinely makes your life feel more like yours.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: But maybe we can stop assuming every change needs to begin with dissatisfaction.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe growth can come from loving who we are right now.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: That's beautiful.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: So the question isn't what's my next glow-up?
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe instead, what do I really like about the woman I've become?
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: And why is it so much easier to focus on what we would change rather than what we actually like about ourselves?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: I love that reframe, Laura, because we're we're good at practicing at finding what needs improvement.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: We're not nearly as practiced at noticing what's already good.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe that's something worth thinking about this week.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: What have you grown into that you actually don't want to change?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like some things you might not even think about.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like maybe you're calmer, maybe you're more direct, maybe you laugh more easily, maybe you finally know who your people are.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you don't care as much about the things that once consumed you.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you like your life a little bit quieter.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: Or smaller.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: Or bigger.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: This is our point that I think we're finally get to.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: It gets to be yours.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: We really love to hear what this looks like in your life.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: What are you still excited to change or learn?
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: And when are you finally ready to stop treating yourself like a self-improvement project?
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: Come join us in the Conversations Beyond Borders Facebook community and tell us.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_02: And if you know another woman who might just be a little tired of being told she needs a glow-up, send her this episode.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you can find Conversations Beyond Borders with Susan and Laura on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio, and don't forget YouTube.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: And if you're enjoying season two, follow or subscribe wherever you're listening so you'll know when our next conversation is waiting for you.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, and so until next time.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: Keep wondering with us.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, because none of us have midlife completely figured out.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: See you next time.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: Bye! Bye.