Latest / The Treehouse Show Podcast / Episode 51: Cake or Death?

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Episode 51: Cake or Death? · The Treehouse Show Podcast

0:21
Time to leave your worries outside and join us here in the tree house.
0:24
I'm Daniel Malley along with Trey Trenholme and our newest member in the tree House,
0:31
Rash. So Trey wrote some stuff and because Trey wrote some stuff,
0:46
the last part of the show today, we'll have a very special appearance by
0:52
our old friend Luke Brian. Oh nice, I'm glad. Oh no,
0:58
no, no, no, Raj not nice. It's not not nice in
1:03
the last but good and terrible, good and terrible. So that is coming
1:11
up today. And as much as I love to start with our strongest material
1:17
first, and it's really tempting to do that with with Luke Bryan's version of
1:23
I'm going to lay you down, I instead feel like they're stronger content to
1:30
start a treehouse today, and that is this. I do believe I have
1:37
found the perfect woman or our Trey trenhole Really yeah, all right, And
1:44
keep in mind, I've now known Trey, let's see, since two thousand
1:49
and two. I've known Trey for twenty one years. For twenty one years,
1:55
I've known Trey. We've helped each other through good times, bad times,
2:00
alcohol, uh, people coming and going in various forms relationships for certain
2:13
and I like to think I have at least a little bit of an idea
2:15
of what Trey likes. Yeah, and I also know I also have an
2:21
idea of what I think is good for Tray, and those two things don't
2:23
always sync up. Yeah, so you found you found the perfect You think
2:28
you found the perfect girl? That's wow. I'm I'm intrigued, to say
2:31
the least. I just want to is it? Is it a situation where
2:35
he has to go during visiting hours or is it My first question was where
2:42
where is she? Institutionals? How are you from Green Oaks? See,
2:49
this is where those two worlds of what Trey likes versus what is best for
2:53
Tray collid because I know what Trey wants. And that's crazy, because Trey
2:57
loves him some crazy, but I know that that's not what he needs.
3:00
If we can just find a functional schizophrenic, if we can just run you
3:07
know, somebody that has a job but goes a little, you know,
3:10
a little crazy after five you know what I mean? Yeah? Yeah,
3:15
yeah, not nine to five normal, but yeah, for for Trey time.
3:19
What do you say functional schizophrenical? Uh? Yeah, I think and
3:23
see and when I said it. Look look at that man's face light up.
3:27
Oh yeah, he absolutely has lit up like a Christmas tree. I
3:30
feel like, Trey, you should just get on tender and the headline should
3:32
just be looking for functional schizophrenic. Yeah, you should just just kind of
3:38
just troll where the just medicals. It's right next to Medical City, Renokes
3:42
is right there. Just kind of hang outside, just have loose cigarettes.
3:45
They'll come, they'll come running. It's like, it's like if I can't
3:49
find a schizophrenic or a heroin addic, you know either way. I mean,
3:53
I'm just saying, it's like pigeons and popcorn, loose cigarettes and the
3:54
crazy. Uh. I also feel like that. I also feel like the
4:01
I feel like the lobby of a mental institution would actually be a great place
4:06
to use the classic line do you come here off one one? Because it
4:15
could be a red flag, but for Tray it could be a green flag.
4:20
Is it crazy that I find too attractive? You can use that that
4:26
you can just start. Tray's not just strolling, He's he's also he's also
4:29
an outpatient. Now that's when that's when you you you go to you go
4:32
to the spirit the costume place you get yourself a lab coat, and I'm
4:39
just gonna sit in the lobby and assess. Just just have your clipboard out
4:43
of things that you need, uh and you're looking for, and right before
4:46
they get to uh being admitted it, snatch them, take them for your
4:51
own. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The ironic thing though on on Tray's
4:55
clipboard. It's just going to be one question, are you all right?
5:00
Let's say at yeah, I get their chart and you take a look their
5:03
meds and go yeah, yeah, too crazy? Okay, okay, So
5:10
I'm curious. Trade just right at what dosage? Is lithium too much?
5:17
Is there such a thing? Every person, every person is different, Dan,
5:23
You know what, that's very mature of you. Trade Not to judge,
5:27
Not to judge a woman by the cover on her pillbox. Yeah,
5:30
not. Never touch a woman by her dosage. That should be on your
5:38
headstone. Never judge a woman by her dosage. There he lies, so
5:47
killed by a woman. Yeah, that sounds about right. I could see
5:53
that. No, No, that's definitely famous last words if I've ever heard
5:57
them. No, So in this case, trade, I don't don't know.
6:00
I don't know about the crazy level, but I have a theory on
6:03
it. But this is where I feel like this is the right amount of
6:08
wholesome for you. And I also feel like this this particular individual is very
6:16
strong at something that you are very weak, and that is this A lot
6:24
of people see as having a sweet tooth as a weakness, right, Okay,
6:29
Well this is Elizabeth rose strongest point because she is a baker. Oh
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and we learned recently, Tray and like in the like the last week or
6:41
two, that you love ice cream and cake and woman this woman Elizabeth Rowe
6:48
one season two of the Netflix series Is It Cake. Oh yeah, that's
6:53
a great show. So what she does for a living, Tray is she
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bakes cakes. Okay, I see I see this going from being uh shot
7:05
in in in bed by a jealous X to now my six hundred pound life.
7:14
It'll really hit all the possible docu dramas. I just want to see
7:18
a six hundred pound and Trey. That's all I wanted. And I'm not
7:25
now how I found her isn't because I watched the show. It's because Channel
7:30
eight in Dallas recently did a story on her. Because she is local,
7:35
she's in Lewisville, and she won season two. I is it Cake?
7:40
Gotcha? Okay, that's kind of cool. And she has a bakery there
7:43
is It in the London baker herself, a little bit rock and Roll,
7:46
a little bit Mary Poppins. No one whatever call Elizabeth rowe fake. No,
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no concerns that I do not have a poker face. What you see
7:56
is what you okay. Despite that, Elizabeth has gotten pretty good at fooling
8:00
people with her cakes. Her realistic cakes are often mistaken for the thing.
8:05
They're like, this is actually a cake and people are like what. The
8:11
same reaction she had after getting an email inviting her to compete on season two
8:16
of Is It Cake? On Netflix. Welcome to Is It Cake? A
8:22
show where contestants try to fool judges by making the most realistic cakes they can.
8:28
Your job is to try and fool the judges. Unfortunately, Elizabeth says,
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her first cake, a yoga mat and yoga block, was a smashing
8:37
disaster, and I was convinced that I was never going to get to show
8:41
people that I could actually do some pretty good work. But she survived and
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not only showed she can do good work, but proved nobody can do it
8:52
better. Elizabeth, who earned the nickname Stitch Queen for her expertise in creating
8:58
edibles stitches all hail the Queen, bringing home her apron from the show,
9:07
and a whole lot of confidence. Yeah, the ninety thousand dollars she won,
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well that was icing on you get it? Lame? Yeah, and
9:16
while the show has certainly so there you go, Trey. Oh. I
9:22
also forgot to mention that she's British. I don't know if you have a
9:24
soft spot for accents, but I feel like most people do. I know
9:28
I do, just because they oppressed my country for four hundred and fifty years.
9:33
So for you, it's more like revenge. Yeah, we grew accustomed
9:35
to them. You know. She's very pretty she uh and and edible stitches.
9:43
Uh. If that's not the selling point When she hits you over the
9:46
head with a candlestick and you're like, oh, she stitched me up,
9:50
Like, no, that's chocolate, Well, I mean, but it is
9:54
also I mean the stitches are chocolate. But when but if they get into
10:00
a fight and she's chasing tray around the bedroom with a candlestick, he's going
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to be ironically yelling is it cake, I do it? Do it?
10:09
Or no? Or when the police come and they're looking for me and they
10:13
see you know, my body, and then she goes, no, it's
10:16
kay. Yeah. Yet oddly enough, your corpse has the biggest smile.
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We should trey you and I should make a trip to the bakery and and
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and meet young Elizabeth Row. I like it. She actually yeah, she's
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very pretty. So this is why I think this might happen. Like again,
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I don't know anything about her other than what was in that newspiece from
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Channel eight. I know that she's from Lewisville, she's got a bakery there,
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and she one season two of Is It Cake? On Netflix? And
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she's English, and I think that there might be This is the stuff that
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I'm just guessing on. I'm just guessing that to reach that level of success
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in baking things, you have to have at least a little bit of mad
11:07
scientist in you. So maybe, just maybe it's the healthiest amount possible of
11:11
crazy four Tray to be attracted to without going fool schizophrenic. Yeah. But
11:18
and here's the other thing is everything's funnier with the British accent. So even
11:22
you know crazy, it'll be funnier with the British accent. Okay, tray,
11:26
let gonna give you a piece of advice here. And I don't do
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it often because I know you're you're my older statesman here, But women don't
11:33
like it when you laugh at them when they're yelling. Again. Yeah,
11:35
that's universal. That doesn't matter. Where are you from? Crazy? Crazy?
11:41
Still crazy? And when the police show up and see your corpse on
11:45
the ground, they're going to know the answer to is it Kate? When
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you're laying there dead, I'm nobody's gonna go that was whimsical. There's a
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there's a nice big pool of blood there that it's not sitting still. It
12:00
still seems to be oozing, so I'm thinking that may not be frost.
12:05
That is not a raspberry coolie. And then you know she would just say
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something like he was being a winker. Yeah, everyone laughs and moves about
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there. Nobody gets charged with murder. Everybody has a slice of cake and
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goes, oh, yeah, I like this. The police walk back to
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the walk back to the squad car with the house in the background, and
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she's waving by to them over their shoulders and they just look at each other
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and one hits the other one on the shoulder and just said winker and they
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go about their day. I'd just like to see, like the medical examiners
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just like, okay, if we're about to find out what actually killed him,
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and they just go to do the first decision, it's like, oh,
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yeah, this is cake red millet. Where's the actual body? Like
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we might want to go back to the bakery because we put that in the
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case. It is going to be really odd though, when like the shift
13:00
change happens at the medical examiner's office and they see with a knife and fork
13:03
over the body. I knew something was wrong with him. You're listening to
13:09
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eight three three cook DFW or cook dfw dot com. So on the heels
15:54
of possibly finding Trey, the love of your life, which by the way,
16:00
I didn't even check to see if she's single or not. I'm just
16:02
I'm just kind of hoping for the best for you. And and if he's
16:07
not, then maybe you can play home record tray. Well maybe yeah,
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definitely. I think that's that adds to the appeal and the potential of being
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murdered by a jealous a jealous loved one. It makes it more intriguing because
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one of her pictures I did see a wedding photo. So oh yeah,
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you're gonna break up a happy home. It's probably not that happy you're gonna
16:30
break up. You're gonna break up. You're gonna break up a happy home
16:34
to make it a trend home. See what. I couldn't have waited like
16:41
nine more minutes to say that, huh, because I'm real tempted, not
16:48
only to end this segment at the one minute forty second mark, I'm tempted
16:52
to end the whole damn show on that line. I'm sorry. Just don't
17:04
you dare apologize. Just stick it in your quiver for another time as well.
17:11
We'll do, we'll do, But no, we can ask maybe there's
17:15
a listener that is in the Lewisville area that can do some recon for us,
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you know, because maybe she won, Maybe she won the thing and
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now she's you know, she's in a she's on a she's a celebrity status,
17:26
and maybe her spouse is like, you know, what I didn't sign
17:30
I signed up for bunt cakes, not one that looks like a tabby,
17:37
and previously a lot like a tabby. Yeah, it's all you eating our
17:41
cat at midnight and that was weird. Now her cakes, her cakes really
17:45
are phenomenal. It's one of those where you'll see them on social media and
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that's probably how the reason why they started the show is because people were decorating
17:52
cakes very extravagantly at home and then they're posting, and then they're posting them
17:56
online and then they basically made a TV show out of it, to which
18:00
she won, you know, her season. And I've seen these and it
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is phenomenal what they're able to do with some flour, some sugar and whatever.
18:11
That magical substance is known as fundant Yes. I remember I was dating
18:17
Who's Anna you remember Anna Dan who is British and she she got me.
18:22
She turned me onto a cake boss. I remember watching that and this was
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how she presented it to me, and I go because I walked in.
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I was like, what in the effort you watching? It's like it's cake
18:33
Boss and I was like okay, She's like, yeah, it's like the
18:37
Mafia, but with cakes, and I'm like, how low in the mafia
18:40
do you have to be to be the cake guy. It's like, hey,
18:45
you gotta go see childie cakes. What is he gonna do? It's
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gonna make it cake like that. I know, it's like that. That's
18:52
like that the mafia life. They always start with seemingly the most menial of
18:56
jobs. By the end of it it's really badass. Kind of like any
19:00
irishman. He's like paint houses and then you realize, oh, he's painting
19:04
them with their brains. Now I get it. Kind of like with the
19:08
cakes, it's like, so you're making a cake? Yeah, yeah,
19:12
where's Uncle Louie. I want to see I want to see a mob war
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between the cake mafia and the maple Syrup Mafia of Canada. That's the war
19:26
we didn't know we needed. Things are gonna get sticky up here. They
19:33
can't all be gold. They can't all be gold. Remember saying they can't
19:37
all be gold, but you can at least strive for gold. Each time
19:41
have you met me, I feel like I feel like that joke. You
19:45
were just glad to be invited, But no, we need to find out
19:49
if if this guy's had enough of her her celebrity status now and and and
19:55
Trey have been been uh in successful in many fields. You're used to being
20:00
recognized by people, and maybe this is this is what she needs. It's
20:03
also very possible that when you're this good at something, it's not just talent
20:08
alone. There also has to be a certain level of dare I say it
20:12
crazy? Yes? Or obsessive or both to be able to make cakes that
20:19
astonishingly beautiful and lifelike. Yeah, there's gonna be a level of arrogance because
20:25
you have to wake up every day knowing you can do that. Yeah.
20:27
And so on top of that, maybe that if she is married, maybe
20:32
their personal life is not so great because maybe you know, her husband thinks
20:34
that she spends too much time with the cakes. Yeah, and he's jealous
20:38
of them. Whereas Trey Trey would sit there in front of her and say,
20:45
cake me like one of your French girls, see imber right there at
20:49
the bottom, wrung with you ros, I'm just gonna welcome it. Just
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pisses it just pisses me off. Like I got the crazy, but I
20:59
didn't get any talent. Maybe you'll find out that you you're like you're really
21:07
good with icings. When you guys here would be that Tray is really good
21:11
with piping, you couldn't held up for seven and a half more minutes.
21:21
Nope, turns out my piping is premature. They have pills for that.
21:30
Now it's a blue fondent. Let's just go ahead and assume though that Trey,
21:40
you would mess up this relationship and uh, that would leave you once
21:44
again alone. But there is good news. Just because you're alone doesn't mean
21:47
that you have to be unhappy about it. There is a new dating trend,
21:52
which, by the way, I don't even know how the rest of
21:55
the world can keep up with all the new trends that are out there.
21:57
There's a new trend for everything, seemingly on a daily basis. But this
22:02
new one caught my eye because you know, I thought of you. It's
22:06
called master dating. When you thought of Tray, I did. I did.
22:12
That's kind of and master dating. Master dating, it's not. So
22:18
the first thing I thought of was like it was some sort of a Thomas
22:19
Jefferson slave thing, but it's not that. So it's it's I was going
22:26
I was going for more of an Arian brotherhood kind of thing. But you
22:30
you went, you went straight, uh straight colonial? Okay, I went
22:33
all the way back to the forefathers. Yeah, I would have just gone
22:37
never mind, say I need to see that that right there. Rage Trey
22:45
saw the invitation and he's like, I'm not gone, Yes, I see.
22:48
And you said you had no talent. You're marvelous at self editing.
22:52
That was a brilliant self editing. Oh you have if when we're done with
22:56
this segment, I'll say what I was gonna say, and you'll go,
22:59
oh, yeah, that was a really good self at it. Yeah,
23:03
like I could see it on your face. Like if there was an HR,
23:04
i'd be called in. Actually it's so bad that it actually starts a
23:12
treehouse HR department. Yeah, we're currently hiring. I've already got someone in
23:22
mind who's very experienced in the HR REALM. Okay, so master dating,
23:26
master dating. So let's let's let's stop. It's not colonial, not not
23:32
not arian brotherhood. M. Yeah, so let's let's stop. Let's let's
23:36
stop our wondering of what it could be. Let's stop our imaginations and let
23:40
me tell you what it actually is. Okay. This is from one of
23:45
the great sources of news and information of the world is the New York Post.
23:49
Oh yeah, On any given night, you're likely to spot a giddy
23:52
guy or gal at a trendy restaurant, bar, museum, or even a
23:56
fully packed park single handedly going at it alone. It meaning a solo date.
24:03
Master dating is the latest love and relationship trend to take social media by
24:07
storm. It's the practice of lavishing oneself with choice gifts, treats, and
24:12
outings in an effort to establish a healthy sense of self sufficiency before entering a
24:18
serious relationship with someone else. So master dating is dating yourself. Oh,
24:26
Trey, you've been doing this for so long. Yeah, he just didn't
24:32
know that it had a fancy label to go along with it. It also
24:37
is really weird, though, because I can't tell you how many times I
24:41
have sent Trey a text over the years, like hey, you want to
24:44
hang out there? He's like, no, I'm master dating that. I
24:48
didn't read it closely enough, and I thought our relationship feels too close.
24:56
But thank god, he's not like I'm master racing. That would be terrible.
25:00
I'd be like, you know what, that's a different that's a different
25:03
thing altogether, and we're just going to the park. Right. Uh,
25:08
taking yourself out on dates is an exercise and self love and self compacion and
25:14
self compassion. That's according to Amy Noble, a holistic dating coach in the
25:17
West Village of New York. Ye. So so not just any dating coach,
25:21
a holistic one. She goes on to say, you're teaching yourself about
25:25
your own needs, requirements, and the things that bring you joy. It's
25:27
about uncovering your own passions. Wow. You know what, Just when I
25:34
think and and and hats off to you guys, just when I think white
25:38
people can't get weirder, you just do. Why just have to be a
25:44
white people thing? You don't think that there are people of color out there
25:47
master dating, as odd as that sounds, No, I don't. I
25:49
don't. I'm positive. This is the part that they speak up is white,
26:00
this is this is this is Yeah, this is a very wide people
26:03
think. I don't think it's necessarily culturally or racially specific to take time for
26:08
oneself, but to give it, to give it a title, and then
26:12
there's got it, there's and I'm assuming, but I'm assuming because she's the
26:18
holistic life coach, which is that's as white as it gets. There's no
26:23
other race of people that are holistic life. So here's the problem. I
26:27
want to argue with you about that, but I can't. In fact,
26:32
the only thing I can't argue with you one is that she's a holistic dating
26:36
coach, not a life coach. Oh, dating coach. I'm sorry,
26:38
holistic dating. But everything else you said I can't argue because I feel like
26:42
you're correct. Yeah. I when I hear stuff like that, I all
26:45
my mom just pops into my head like, like I like this. Lady
26:51
Amy whatever her name is, like, went to her parents like I want
26:53
to be like a holistic dating coach, and her white parents went, of
26:57
course you do, Amy, and we support you. So you're saying,
27:00
this is what happens when parents are completely supportive of their children. Yes,
27:04
and and and and why immigrants are so successful because our parents don't believe in
27:11
us, so they pick our paths for us. So if I went to
27:15
my mom's like, so I would like to be a holistic dating coach,
27:18
my mom's like, it was lovely knowing you leave my house immediately now you're
27:23
homeless, will be a holistic homeless dating coach? That Yeah, and they
27:30
wouldn't. They would have just made something like you couldn't even my parents wouldn't
27:33
be able to tell other Indian parents, I would just they would have a
27:36
horrible sort of like, so what is Roger doing now? He died a
27:41
tragic accident when when when lying to family and friends, it's easier, it's
27:47
easier than telling them what you actually do for a living that is cultural is
27:52
yeah, my mother would have killed it. You want to be a holistic
27:56
life dating coach, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to have to a
28:00
murderer. You're gonna be a holistic dating coach. I'm going to be an
28:06
inmate. You know, where all one of us is living our dream,
28:12
one of us is actually living. Well, yeah, there's that. I
28:17
mean there are something I mean like when you hear about people, let's say,
28:22
dying on Mount Everest, automatically just assume they're white because that does seem
28:26
to be just a white person thing to do is climb climb mountains. Yeah,
28:32
it's it's just Sharp's just it's just brown. Sharper's going. See there's
28:36
another one. We told him not to go. That's Skyle. That's Skyle
28:42
over there. You're in these visit us online a Treehouse OnAir dot com.
29:06
Let's get Daniel Cook from Cook dfw Roofing and Restoration into the Treehouse. His
29:08
phone number that you will need is eight three three cook DFW. The website
29:14
with lots of great information is cook dfw dot com. So Daniel, let's
29:18
start today. How often should you get a roof inspection? Dan? That
29:22
is a fantastic question, and that's something that's overlooked by several homeowners. And
29:26
that's at least once a year minimum is when you should have your roof flick.
29:30
That but more if you know you had some large storms come over your
29:33
home, and everybody knows when you have a large storm, you had large
29:36
hill, large winds, something in that magnitude, are you actually develop a
29:41
leak and you find it? But minimum once a year, even if you
29:44
have no kind of idea that something happened to your house, because there are
29:47
so many things that happened to your roof during the normal gear. You know,
29:51
some ahesive could come loose, some boots could come out and have a
29:53
crack them, some flashings could come apart, and these are all things that
29:57
will cause problems down the road, but can easily be prevented if We just
30:03
let you know about it as they come up. Our inspections are free.
30:06
Our guys are very comparable about coming out telling you what's wrong and giving you
30:11
an honest assessment with pictures, giving you a true assessment, no fluff.
30:15
We're not trying just to get a roof every time we go out to your
30:18
house. Matter of fact, we've done about twelve or thirteen inspections this week
30:21
so far, and only two of them actually qualified for a roof replacement.
30:25
That We're not in the business of bs. We're in the business of taking
30:26
care of our clients and giving you a quality product. So if that sounds
30:30
like something that you would like for your home and a business you want to
30:33
do business with like we do in the Treehouse, give Daniel Cook and Cook
30:37
DFW Roofing and Restoration a call eight three three Cook DFW eight three three Cook
30:41
DFW or Cook DFW dot com. Visit us online at treehouse fire dot com.
30:51
Let's get Jacqueline from Brooks Plumbing into the Treehouse now. Their phone number
30:53
two one, four, three six eight thirty eight thirty eight, their website
30:57
Brooks Plumbing, Texas. So Jaqueline, I'm curious if I need a plumber.
31:03
What should I be looking for in a good one? You know,
31:06
I'm really big on not up selling stuff, So they need to be looking
31:10
at what your current problem is. If you're not having a problem with something,
31:14
my motto is if it's broke, not broke, don't fix it.
31:17
So just because they come to look at a toilet that needs a new flapper
31:21
does not necessarily mean that they need to be trying to sell you a tankless
31:25
water heater. We don't need me up selling. We don't need somebody in
31:27
an unmarked vehicle that looks like they're going to offer your kid candy. That's
31:30
terrifying, you know what I mean. A uniform shirt goes a really long
31:34
way. I just say, use common sense. If you're uncomfortable with somebody
31:38
selling tactics or the way that I hate to say this, if you're uncomfortable
31:41
with a vibe, even get them out of your house. If you're not
31:44
comfortable with the way that the lady that answers the phone treats you when you're
31:48
booking your appointment, say I'm sorry, I change my mind. Just go
31:51
with your gut. That's a big deal. Or a really easy solution would
31:53
be just a call Brooks Plumbing. Right, that's true, because I'm just
31:59
a joy to talk to. And Kelsey, my right hand man, who
32:01
can hear me into my left She's like a little Disney princess. We just
32:05
want to sing to you and send you plumbers. Give Rooks Plumbing a call.
32:07
They will absolutely take care of you the same way that they take care
32:10
of us. Here in the Treehouse two one four three six eight thirty eight
32:14
thirty eight at Brooks Plumbing Texas dot com. You're in visit us online at
32:22
Treehouse on Aair dot com. This segment of the Treehouse is brought to you
32:29
by Brooks Plumbing. Their website Brooks Plumbing Texas dot com. The phone number
32:32
for any and all of your plumbing needs is two one four three six eight
32:37
thirty eight thirty eight. That's two one four three six eight thirty eight thirty
32:40
eight, and again the website Brooks Plumbing Texas dot com. You know,
32:46
I just realized the holistic dating coach Trey Uh. Sounds like that'd be someone
32:52
right up your alley for a dating possibility, because you know she's gonna have
32:58
some crazy Yeah, I mean that has to be almost certifiably crazy. Yeah,
33:02
it's it's holistic crazy, which means she doesn't take any meds. Yeah.
33:07
I don't understand the title holistic but dating coach, like it's a are
33:15
you a dating coach that uses I don't understand, Like, is it not
33:21
not natural dating? I don't understand know what it is. I mean,
33:23
I'm guessing dating advice, but with amethist likes. I just thought that was
33:30
her assistant amethist. Assistant amethist, and you know, amethist is the brains
33:37
behind the operation. She's a disappointment to her parents too. But maybe it's
33:44
like holistic dating coach, it's it's crystals and dream catchers. Oh yeah,
33:51
oh yeah, that'd be I could I could see that for you. I
33:53
could see that for you and some wind chimes and some wind chimes, And
33:57
you said, I think that would be the trifector. That's that's just my
34:00
assumption. I've never actually met a regular dating coach, let alone one to
34:05
be able to compare the two. Yeah, so when you're leaving, when
34:07
you're leaving their little studio apartment in Soho, that's where you go to get
34:12
your holistic dating advice. On the way out, that's when amethists will sell
34:15
you the crystals and the dream catchers and yeah, I take the whole program
34:19
and the cassette tapes. Oh yes, that's right, and a cassette player.
34:27
Yeah. But you know what would be truly shocking on those holistic dating
34:30
advice cassette tapes? As if if it was someone completely unexpected on that tape,
34:35
Like it's not Amy the holistic dating coach, and it's not amethistr her
34:39
weird assistant who does all the actual work. What if it was a celebrity
34:45
be intrigued. Yeah, I mean it would sell. I think you would
34:49
sell more copies of said cassettes. Well, the celebrity, I'm thinking has
34:53
probably sold quite a few cassettes. Oh okay, And I'm not sure if
35:00
I should actually do this or not, but I'm feeling compelled. Am I
35:02
feel this compelled? I feel the need, well, the spirit. If
35:07
the spirit compels you, Dan, you have you have to do it.
35:16
Hey y'all, Hi, Luke, Hey, hey buddy, Oh my god,
35:22
look at y'all on TV. What is this thing my mom called?
35:28
Oh? Is this the internet? Oh? Wow? Hi? I'm Luke
35:32
Bran. Hi, Luke. We missed you. It is man, I've
35:39
missed me. You're you're, you're with you all the time. I don't
35:45
know how you're you missed you, but it's a special gift. Roj.
35:49
Okay, well, there is a holistic dating coach that you can talk to
35:52
about it. Now. I'm not real big into holistic stuff. I mean,
35:54
there was that one time Bred Dance Nike and in the pen of Graham,
36:04
but I really felt like that wasn't on brand for me. So instead
36:07
I just ran over and wrote my tractor naked for an hour and a half.
36:13
I think that was your last tour. I think that's so was the
36:15
finale. That was the encore U was I was like three four tours ago.
36:21
That was the I think it was the farm tour. That was just
36:23
tractor singing. Well, it's I've I've never formerly met you, but it's
36:30
it's it's lovely. Uh many of you. I've met you. I've met
36:36
you, rage Ra. But you know, whatever you want, whatever you
36:39
want to call me. I am from Podnunk, Georgia. You are named
36:43
rage Okay, I'll take it there to Luke, But it's anyway, you
36:47
have not met me, but I have met you many many times because I
36:51
am a I am a fervent believer in watching people sleep. Okay that uh
36:57
wow uh in in my in my home, kay, and sometimes in you're
37:02
not homes because because the reason why I was onto youse, you kind of
37:07
live a little bit of that that vagrant lifestyle that I'm so attracted to murdering
37:14
or at least to capture for for a time or for I do find it
37:21
interesting that every city of you perform in the murder rate goes up. It
37:24
no, the missing rate goes up. If it was if it was purely
37:31
the murder rate, I would not be free. I apologize for for for
37:40
possibly incriminating you. And a remarkably astute observation from Luke. Don't get me
37:47
wrong, I'm stupid and stuff, but you know, when I'm when I'm
37:52
shaking my hips, I'm also thinking some that's a that's a that's a that's
37:58
a good thing. Well, well it's it's it's lovely to to to to
38:01
see you in person. This is this is you are lucky though, right
38:05
because I didn't take you. Because while you live what seems to be from
38:09
the outside looking in a vaporite lifestyle, you actually go to work and stuff
38:15
and you earn a living. So I was like, you know what he's
38:17
contributed to society, I'm gonna leave rage alone. That is. Uh.
38:23
Some people would say that that's extremely kind. Uh and uh you're above being
38:29
talented and a gifted a musician if you would call yourself that, Oh I
38:36
do. Very few other people do, but I do. In fact,
38:40
that's part of the reason I wanted to uh take over Daniel Malley's body for
38:45
for a spell, because I heard y'all mention the other day something about modern
38:50
country being crap, and I just I take I take a hard issue to
38:53
that. The forefront of it, we weren't. It's not as good at
39:00
what we're trying to convey is. It's not as good as say the classics,
39:02
like your Johnny Cash or your Conway Twitties or George Jones. It has
39:08
its own flare, but it's not as as good as I say those guys
39:10
were back in the day. You know, I have a feeling that someday,
39:15
if y'all ever find women to bear your children like I have, they
39:20
will eventually say the same thing about me. It's like, man, that
39:22
that Luke Bryan. He really was a master lyricist, or at the very
39:29
least of masterful hip. Sweer. You know, you're you're you're very much
39:36
like Shakira, your your hips don't lie lyricists. I don't know. I
39:39
mean, you're not gonna You're not gonna be up there with the greats.
39:45
But this is where I sing an opportunity to take the crap you believe and
39:49
the crap that I sing and bring them both together. Okay. And I
39:53
also feel like we can help Trey in the process, because while I am
39:58
somewhat of an underground kingpin of vagrant disappearances and alleged murders, I also have
40:06
a soft spot in my heart for helping losers. Okay, I mean that
40:15
is kind of a sorry was that mean? Sorry? I have I also
40:20
have a brutally honest bone in my body. Actually it's not my bone,
40:23
it's you know, it's one of merle haggards. I like to keep trophies
40:30
on occasion. Well, uh, yeah, that was a nice sentiment,
40:36
But you didn't have to end with the loser parties there or something in you
40:39
had in mind that you would like to to to convey to train and in
40:45
your lyricist form or yes there is, and thank you for leading me down
40:50
that musical path. Uh So, I figured what I'll do is I'm gonna
40:52
give Trade some really good advice from my own experiences, but doing it to
40:57
uh to the tune of a Conway pretty classic. Oh okay, is it
41:01
like it's like that's my job. That would be that you would consider this
41:06
as your job to help Trade. No, No, I figured i'd go
41:09
with the one that you were pooping one on the other day. Oh I
41:13
want to lay you down. Yeah, but it's got to be the Luke
41:15
Brian version. Oh what okay, I'd love to whenever you're I would love
41:21
to hear it. I think paying attention, I'm gonna change your love life
41:24
right now, I am. I am taking notes, make sure I remember
41:30
how this tom goes. There's a lot of ways to singing what I want
41:37
to do to you. There's songs, poems and promises that your dreams won't
41:42
come true. I won't talk of making love beneath the moonlit skies on the
41:45
ground. I'll come right out and tell you that I want to dick you
41:50
down very direct. That is a beautiful, beautiful dick you down and softly
42:01
whisper you're a slut in your ear. Dick you down and tell you all
42:07
the things I'll do to your rear. I'll let you know how much it
42:14
means speaking your rubber boom. I love to dick you down. This is
42:24
the greatest of my life. I'm getting the weirdest look from my cat right
42:30
now. There's so many ways you, stinky coach made this house and too
42:37
home. You do those dirty things that really turned me on, like squatting
42:45
on my crank and playing with my taint. Even with you, even even
42:59
with your pewed to curlers, I'd still love to lay your darrow. I
43:04
mean, I mean dick it down. Stick you down and softly whisper,
43:10
skeat skeet, stick you down, and shove an oldsmobile right up in your
43:17
ear. I'm gonna dick you down. You get me a beer, honey,
43:25
I love down. That is Thank you, Luke, that was.
43:37
That's the greatest country song ever written, uh and and performed in the history
43:45
of country songs. I would like to look on my cat's face. The
43:50
look on my cat's face begs to differ. I'd also like to point out
43:55
that I did that entire performance with my wife in the same room and I'm
43:59
still standing, but I'm also afraid to hit stop on the recording. Oh
44:16
hang on, let me tell my wife something real quick. Trey wrote that
44:21
trace fall for things Treehouse, go to Treehouse on Air dot com, on
44:29
social media at Treehouse on Air. For me, it's at the Daniel Malley.
44:32
For Trey who wrote the song, at Trey trend home one, and
44:37
for rage it's at Comedian Raj. You can also come to us for advertising
44:45
and sponsorship opportunities here in the Treehouse Treehouse on Air at gmail dot com like
44:52
listen, follow, subscribe, enjoy. You would really help if all the
44:55
platforms just chose the same word across all of them. I really do helpful.
45:00
Yes, and make sure to share this with everybody on your social media
45:06
stuff too. Absolutely tell a friend because we want we want the we want
45:09
the loop run dick you down, uh to go viral. That's the that's
45:15
the goal for this, because irony has that been viral for about a decade.
45:25
We walked into that one. Well done, Okay, Yeah,