Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just - The Interior Balance of Humility and Authority 3.26.26

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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just - The Interior Balance of Humility and Authority 3.26.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

• 0:03
  Yeah, 457 just to close out this theme of the last couple of
• 0:08
  days, which is like we said, lowering your antenna to being
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  sensitive and salted all the time and that is a display of
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  your mood. So they give examples of rabbis
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  are at unbelievable level of your Moody and letting things
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  go. What is this going to be about?
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  It says after even though he's a shimmy humble.
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  He said I'm not humble enough. I I should not be cold enough.
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  This other should amazing thing goes.
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  I'm going to be about Mirage, originally Hava MENA and Matana.
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  I thought I was humble. I thought I was humble.
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  Kevin de Fazeela would be about the Aqua.
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  I saw a different rabbi, the Amariu Hatama.
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  He would they used to have in those days a speaker who spoke
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  for them. The rabbit would speaks softly
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  into the person's ear and that person had booming voice and he
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  had projected to the crowd that's that that was assist.
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  So the rabbi would tell in this scenario would say a shot in
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  something and the speaker is literally supposed to be nothing
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  more than a microphone. And yet his speaker had the I've
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  called the goal of the I don't know what it is to go ahead and
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  say a different shot than the rabbi.
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  He's taking his mic and he's taking it for himself as if he's
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  representing the rabbi, saying his own thing.
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  And that's great disrespect. Right Now what happens?
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  His speaker would say Hatama Velo capet.
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  The rabbi did not get upset. The commenting person said,
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  Amina, when I saw that, I said, I cannot consider myself humble
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  If I compare myself to that, that's great humility.
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  Everyone's coming for the rabbi. Everyone's trying to hear the
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  rabbi's opinion, and then this guy who is nothing more than a
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  microphone, it gets up there. He tries to put in his own two
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  cents and make it seem like he's representing the rabbi to me, as
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  extremely upsetting as I would say.
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  Now you say, what about the MMM of the Toronto?
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  Those things? That's a separate conversation
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  to the side, but the anger. Was was he saying things that
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  were negative and that were? The world robber.
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  Has to say something. Wasn't saying things that are
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  not right. That's Leo.
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  So it must not have been the case.
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  It must have been there was simply as a knock on the
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  rabbit's cover. That's the only area where there
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  was a problem. And for that, the rabbit's is
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  all passed. And on the old point, by the
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  way, not to go down that road too much, but there's a great
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  blur and a great court source of excuse where people say I'm
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  defending the Torah and they therefore feel like they have to
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  get upset. And honestly, defending is their
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  honor. It'd be very real with yourself.
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  I have a joke on my one of my friends, but I see someone get
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  upset about something like this. I would say, oh, kabura tuda,
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  it's Kabura. They're claiming kabura tuda.
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  Kabura tuda is a very loose, loose translation.
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  It's kind of convenient when you defend kabura tuda and it also
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  makes you look good, right? Real defense of kabura tuda is
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  if you really were ever so, but even if at times he'll make you
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  look bad. So you're right.
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  You're right. If this is an issue where the
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  speaker was going to misrepresent the Torah itself,
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  the rabbi has the right to get a big a problem or even if this
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  because he had disrespect the rabbi to the crown.
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  Maybe the rabbi also has the right and should say something
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  Clearly that was out the case. Clearly the main point of the
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  case is it was disrespect of the rabbi to him and the rabbi's
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  point was I'll eat it. I don't care.
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  Doesn't bother me. I'm not going to be all stuck up
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  in the fact that he's basically telling me and my words don't
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  are not valued. He's basically telling me he
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  thinks his child is better than mine.
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  That doesn't bother me. All right, now let's see, that's
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  another example of a person like we say, lowering their antenna
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  cannot be so quick to being sensitive and insulted on the
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  date that with me FPS. Another example of application
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  of humility is too many things are making decisions that prove
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  you don't like the spotlight. There's another scenario.
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  We explain humility in the way you react.
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  We just dealt up with it. Right now let's talk about
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  humility and practice. What does that mean?
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  Let's look at this too. How do you make decisions that
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  display humility Sinat arabanut obrihat hakavot the testing
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  positions of authority and running away from honor.
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  Someone says, I will not take that position.
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  It's too much on the spotlight now extremely very difficult
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  area we have to deal with because you need those
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  spotlights, the people to run the community, you need that.
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  But if someone says I can't handle, I do not want to be in
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  that position because there's going to be too much focus on my
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  attention. I'm me, but he can't take a
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  vote. A person should love the work
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  and detest leadership. Being in a position of
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  leadership, at least. Farm Rd.
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  Hagas Libo Someone who feels arrogant, who feels good about
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  himself because he's giving rulings, He's giving a lot of
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  rulings and stuff like that. Shortera Shah, the Gus This
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  person is foolish, wicked and arrogant.
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  Someone comes to you with a question.
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  Someone comes to a rabbit with a question and the rabbit has an
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  answer and he feels good about himself.
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  He gave the answer and now he allows it to build and develop
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  his ego. He is losing the way we do.
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  Words of yours are he's foolish, wicked and arrogant.
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  If you allow yourself to bloat your position and say I'm in
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  position, authority, look at me, I like the position, I'm in
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  control. They ask me questions, they rely
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  on me. Have you allowed to get to your
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  head? You said the words foolish,
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  wicked and arrogant. That's pretty bad.
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  Mamrou cola de vajara cavolt, ha cavolt.
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  Some of the cheeses Cavolt, he has to continue chasing because
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  cavort will continue running away and he'll be running after,
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  like on a Roadrunner or one of these examples where you're
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  running and you're running, you're only trying to catch and
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  he can't catch. Why?
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  Because you can't catch cavort. It's all the same thing.
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  If you like the position of authority, if you allow it to go
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  to your head, the fact that you're in that position already,
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  and if you chase cavort, good luck.
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  He never going to catch. In other words, liking the
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  spotlight is a bad position to be in.
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  What do you do with the fact that you have to be in the
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  spotlight, right? Or do I do?
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  I'm in a position, so I'll tell you, huh.
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  Better be the leader. I'm in a position what I do.
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  So I had stages and phases, you know, these stages.
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  At one point my phase was clearly because I don't like,
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  not because I'm humble and somebody do not like spotlight.
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  It's not my type. And my first phase was I didn't
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  accept the role, which means I acted in my mind as if I wasn't
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  in this position. While here.
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  I did it as much as I can, but in my mind, I wasn't in this
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  position and eventually backed into it.
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  But even till today, I happen to not enjoy the spotlight.
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  And I'll tell you, you know, someone looks at this mission
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  and someone says, very nice. You can't like Rabbanut.
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  Rabbanut means authority, really means a rabbit it.
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  That's literally translations rabbit it you can't like it, but
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  you're in it. It's not possible.
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  I'll tell you the truth. It's possible and it's possible
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  to get done even if you're in that position.
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  Which means there are two different approaches to any
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  position of authority. Be a rabbinate, Be a president
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  of an organization. Be it the guy who runs the show,
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  be it the guy who was involved in the case organization.
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  There are still two different approaches is the guy who owns
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  it and loves it and the guy who owns it but doesn't really need
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  this to define him. Two different people, the person
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  who loves it, he allows it to define him and he's waving that
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  title in many areas where it's irrelevant.
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  You say to yourself, how could you have a position of authority
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  and still not like it? That's not Taco.
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  You're not going to do your job well, you have to do your job.
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  Do you fool us? So I agree my original face.
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  I wasn't doing it to the best my my Internet elements.
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  I wasn't carrying it to the full degree because I didn't want to
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  accept it. Fine, Phase 2, I believe I tried
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  to own it, but how could you own it And the test authority, It's
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  a very difficult balance. It's extremely difficult tie
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  rope to walk, but here's how you do it.
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  Authority is a position that you're in for the sake of that
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  position. So thank you, Guy, who's the
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  president of the community organization, right?
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  That means every board meeting, he is there, he speaks first, he
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  closes out the meeting, he runs the agenda, he keeps the books,
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  he's the top of the situation. He has a real role to play, this
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  guy. All right, very important role.
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  Good. You with me.
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  Does that mean that by some random get together with his
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  family and he's not his youngest brother, does he need to waive
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  that title to his family? In other words, you need to say,
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  guys, I got to go, I got to go, I got to go to a meeting.
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  Is he to put that in their face? Is he need to carry the fact and
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  talk about, you know, what we're doing, about our organization?
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  You know what things are going on?
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  No. So you can have a position, but
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  you don't need that position to be reflected in other areas.
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  To me, that is the test and that is the way to to be able to
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  apply the perfect balance of this concept.
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  Hate the authority while you have the authority doesn't mean
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  you hate it. It means you're not you're not
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  living it up and every you're not saying, oh, I got to go, I'm
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  sorry. I can't be by the family get
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  together. I have something shoe related
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  with other guys. Don't have a shoe that's
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  hurtful. So what do you do?
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  Try to work around it. You try to make yeah, you have
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  to dip out and go to that meeting.
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  You try to dip out like any other brother-in-law would dip
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  out because they have to go to the office.
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  So you are going to a meeting. You don't need to wave the flag
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  of my position. You don't need to be loud about
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  it. You don't need to make a big
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  deal about it. Listen, what could I do?
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  Sorry, I can't go on the family trip.
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  I know. I'll give you an example I had
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  years ago. This is now 4 years ago.
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  I try not to go away for Shabbat.
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  Pretty much never. So I had a brother-in-law got
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  married my wife's side, and they were doing the Shabbat Chevron a
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  Hut and doing away Shabbat. We're going to Connecticut to
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  wherever else everyone's jersey. Maybe I forgot what it was to a
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  hotel for Shabbat. Shabbat Hut.
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  And the whole time I wasn't going.
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  Not gone. You're.
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  Right you that's. When you were still the robbery,
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  I was still rabbi here. Here.
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  My wife's brother. I wasn't going.
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  Now that's pretty bad. Not going to Shabbat Hut Shalom
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  buy your brother-in-law. Shalom, buy it to Shalom in
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  laws. He can't win.
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  Shalom. No picture.
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  It was pretty bad. I wasn't going.
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  I literally was not going until last, last minute.
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  I rather came. I came in, said I rather to
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  come. I react to come from Lakewood.
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  He had to go over and I was able to go.
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  But why was I going? In my mind, I never leave
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  Shabbat and the truth of the matter is there is a system that
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  runs over here. It wasn't a simple Shabbat, it
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  was Shabbat kanuka. It was a little bit my mind.
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  I can't leave. But I remember looking back
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  afterwards and saying I made one mistake, go, don't go.
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  Fine. You are announcing during that
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  debate to the whole family over and over and over again saying
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  you guys have a life, but I have a bigger life.
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  You guys have jobs, but I have a bigger job.
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  You can go on a fly. I can't, I can't go.
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  And you're announcing and making a big deal about the fact that
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  as if your job is unique and special, whereas but it is.
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  I understand it is beyond to figure out the balance, but the.
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  He also has a possibility to want to people.
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  He he doesn't have to say, listen, I, I can't go.
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  I'm the head rabbi of this, you know.
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  But it's but it's the truth. He is, but he doesn't have.
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  But I think I pray doesn't happen again.
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  But I think if it would happen again, there's a choice you have
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  to make. But it doesn't need to be a big
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  discussion. Ain't nothing designed to be,
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  listen, I can't go. I have this, I have, I have a
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  Shabbat to run. I have a big speech.
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  All these things person has to realize over and over again,
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  nobody wants to know you're in a position of authority.
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  I don't care if they're a plumber and they have nothing to
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  do with the rabbit head. They don't want to hear it.
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  Doesn't make any difference if they're a billionaire and they
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  have nothing to do with the community Health Organization,
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  they still don't want to hear it.
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  Nobody wants to know that you're in that position.
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  So keep it low key. Can you do it?
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  Can you run the position, take that mantle?
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  Absolutely. If you're fit for the job, take
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  it. But don't wave it in everyone's
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  face because they cannot stomach it.
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  And snot that about it means a person, like I said, don't turn
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  down the job. There are people who will never
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  take a position of authority because they believe it's Ayana
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  they believe is dangerous to their family.
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  I hear you, that's your choice. But some people have to take it.
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  Take it but do not wave in everyone's face.
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  Don't love it, take it, do it to your fullest, but don't love it.
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  Loving means. How do you display it in other
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  realms? Family, Hanukkah party, family
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  pudding party, family this and May that birthday party.
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  Are you always the guy who's got to go?
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  And I happen to be when I'm talking from experience, I am
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  that guy. I am always the guy who cannot
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  stick out my in laws parties ever.
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  I never last an entire party ever.
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  But I got used to the fact that at least at least I just dip
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  out. They don't know where I went.
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  I mean, they know, but they don't need to be way.
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  All you have to tell them. I have to make sure you be
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  dealing. I'm out every single Shabbat,
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  every single Shabbat day I eat by my endless and every single
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  Shabbat day without fail, I leave early.
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  Everyone, many of them I come late and most of them I leave
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  early. OK, now it could be a difficult
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  thing if you do it the wrong way.
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  I'm trying. They do it in a way that's not
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  so in your face, because if you do in your face, you're carrying
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  that title and everyone is. Now they have to eat it.
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  Now they have to salt. I have to see can I handle it?
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  Can I handle it? I'm the younger brother.
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  I'm or better. Yeah, I'm the older
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  brother-in-law. And this younger brother-in-law,
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  Schnook is making a big deal about his job.
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  Can I handle it? Cannot.
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  Why make them debate or why put that in their face for them to
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  have to accept? How about you make it less of a
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  big view? And to me is the balance because
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  it's very, very doable. If you're very if you really
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  work on yourself, it's a doable thing.
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  Enjoy the title. Enjoy the role to you and your
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  wife. Enjoy it you and your kids.
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  Let them be proud. You don't need the world.
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  You know I when I told you that example of yesterday with the
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  organization, this is being the organization.
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  Sure, I did tell my wife. I said why do people need to
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  know? Why do people do need to know
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  who's the rabbi? Who this who cares?
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  Why do they need to have another thing to accept?
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  The more you become a handleable existence to the world, the
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  better off you will be. This is a rule across the board.
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  You make a lot of money. Nobody needs to have to stomach
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  you now trying to figure out a way and they can stomach you.
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  You do very well. You're in a good position.
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  You're a rabbi, you're a leader. Whatever it is, own that role to
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  the fullest, but don't stick it in that face.
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  The sticking in that face position of authority makes
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  other people unable to handle. And that is a display of our
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  humility means I don't deserve this role as it even doesn't
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  mean I'm not going to live it up, but I'm not going to allow
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  it to get to my head. I'm not going to allow it to
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  change me. The best, I say this all the
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  time, the best litmatist of a good character person is if you
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  saw them five years ago and you see them today, five years ago
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  they were out of a job. Today they're a billionaire.
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  Literally, they're running a company and you can't tell the
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  difference. And the way they act to me, the
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  greatest test of all time of how a person is with their
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  character, whatever God delivered for them didn't change
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  where they are. That's the best test.
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  Found me. Yeah, right.
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  Fortunately, it's hard to come by.
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  It's rare. It's hard to come by.
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  Very, very rare. It it exists.
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  It's a lot of work, right? As the idea.
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  I'll tell you an example. When I see friends from old from
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  things, a lot of guys don't have great jobs.
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  I have to always. I don't jump into the rabbi.
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  I think I'll jump on the row. I keep the head, the color thing
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  as the main description. Why?
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  Because they have to handle it. Why do I need a friend that I
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  haven't seen in seven years now, after, you know, it is mine.
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  I'm a color guy. You can handle that every day of
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  the week because that means I'm, you know, not well off.
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  That means I'm just doing my thing.
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  I mean, no one knows my name and he can have that.
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  Why do I need them to have to now accept a role?
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  They don't need to accept it. So don't make a big deal, you
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  know, don't go off. All right, these kids are
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  married and these kids are doing this and I'm doing this here.
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  Why do they need to have to stomach it?
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  They don't need to then. Now, it doesn't mean you have to
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  hide everything. You're not going down that road.
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  These are weird people I'm talking about.
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  Hiding is also, by the way, hiding gets people, even mojos.
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  I'm thinking about just going along as it is a normal.
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  Of course, I might get to married or this or where they
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  live. They live around they live don't
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  make anything seem like it's awesome in their face because
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  then now they have to accept or deny and you don't want them
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  deny. That's your ballot spiritual
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  reality out that saying that leave my hand right, I'm reward
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  all the to leave my hand to not chase a position of authority.
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  Lama pen Mata SE Bahrita. What will you do in the end when
• 19:06
  people embarrassing the Mahar by and to realize by the way he's
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  telling you another detail. The more a person tries to love
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  their positions of authority, they're really setting
• 19:18
  themselves up for too big to fail.
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  Too big to fail is a great reality.
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  You don't need to name names, but if you go through the
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  community, there's a world of too big to fail.
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  So if a person realizes that they remain humble.
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  You don't want to be the biggest rabbi out there.
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  You don't want to be the biggest community leader out there
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  because you are running a risk of too big to fail or just
• 19:39
  Bouchard and Hilima an embarrassment to the end degree,
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  right? So instead, you want to remain
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  yourself, remain who you are, get the position, remain you
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  become become very wealthy, remain you Mario and shallow.
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  All you children remain you be able to build them all
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  companies. Remain yourself, set yourself up
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  for light, remain yourself. Have the greatest marriage of
• 20:07
  all time. Be it still yourself.
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  Be, you know, the greatest person out there.
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  Be still the same guy. Nobody needs to know just how
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  perfectly well you're doing, because by the way, nobody's
• 20:19
  telling them out with challenges, knowing the only
• 20:22
  thing about challenges. So all they see are the roses
• 20:26
  and you're making problems for yourself.
• 20:27
  That's the ideal stop with this.