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Why Narcissists Are Addicted To The Love Bombing Phase · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're talking about how narcissists love the love
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  bombing phase, how some narcissistic people actually get
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  addicted to love bombing you and other people.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist, and welcome to another episode of
• 0:19
  The Narcissist Code. Let's get it.
• 0:41
  Welcome back folks, welcome back.
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  Welcome back Lee Hammock, your favorite diagnosed narcissist
• 0:46
  here. Make sure you check out my
• 0:47
  website, mentalillness.net for my coaching, my courses, my
• 0:51
  support group, everything is available at mentalillness.net.
• 0:55
  Y'all narcissistic people and this, this pesky love bombing
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  phase. So yeah, love bombing,
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  idealization, whatever y'all want to refer to it as is
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  typically the very first step in a toxic relationship, right?
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  Love bombing, there's a lot of narcissistic people out there
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  Will give you everything. Like we'll come out of nowhere.
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  We'll, we'll swoop in like a narcissistic eagle from above or
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  Falcon, a little toxic Falcon, swoop in and sweep you off of
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  your feet. We have y'all ever seen a video
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  of an eagle grabbing that deer or like a little gazelle or
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  whatever and swooping it off his feet, taking it to the highest
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  point and dropping it way down? That's what happens in the love
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  bombing face. They swoop in, pick you up, take
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  you to heights unknown, and then they drop you in your damn head.
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  That's what narcissistic people do right there, y'all.
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  That's typically the cycle of a narcissistic relationship.
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  But like love bombing, not every, of course not everybody
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  gets love bombed, right? Not everybody gets in this, this
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  idealization phase. Not everybody gets love bombed.
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  Some of y'all are chasing the narcissist, right?
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  You're interested in them. You are pursuing them.
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  So when you pursue them, typically you don't get a love
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  bombing phase because you're the one you're the pursuer.
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  You're chasing after the damn what not right?
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  But that's how it works. That's how it happens right
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  there. So there are a lot of toxic
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  narcissistic people who do this. But why does it seem like the
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  ones that do love bomb like it, they love it, they won't some
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  more of it damn near right, Because it's like like like
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  narcissistic people get like a high from love bombing you.
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  That's what, and this is me speaking from experience, like
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  doing a love bombing phase, that narcissistic person feels great.
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  They're getting so much damn validation from you, from your
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  friends. If you're telling your friends
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  about the love bombing phase or your parents, your family
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  members, they're getting so high on that narcissistic supply.
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  It's addicted to like they need a hit.
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  They need a hit, so they keep love bombing you.
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  Like there's no time limits, y'all?
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  There's no time constraints on the the length of the love
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  bombing phrase, right? It can last a week.
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  It can last a damn year pretty much, right?
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  This is how it goes. But there are so many abusive
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  manipulators out there that like so many people that are trying
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  to love bombing and do this type of stuff that right there, they
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  just they love it. They love it because they get a
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  high from it. They get validation.
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  The more the better I treat you, the better you treat me, The
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  more you tend to like me, the more the people around you tend
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  to like me. Now, are there going to be
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  people doing the love by me phase of, of a narcissist on
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  your side of things that don't like the narcissist?
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  Hell yeah. They're going to be a lot of
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  people out there who can't stand your narcissistic partner
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  because they're loved by me. You because they can see through
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  it. And guess what happens?
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  That narcissistic person is going to try to rid you of them.
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  The, the, the narcissistic person is going to try to get
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  that person out of your life. They're going to try to make it
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  seem like that person is jealous of you or whatever the case may
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  be. They want to isolate you away
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  from everybody who doesn't appreciate the love bombing
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  because they want to do it. They feel good, y'all.
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  They feel great during this phase.
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  Like I said, it's, it's a high. That's why they get addicted to
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  it, right? But just like any addiction, it
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  runs out. Doing the same thing over and
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  over runs out right So when it runs out, they typically try to
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  find somebody else because like during the love bombing phase
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  right during it like they treat you good because they feel good.
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  I, I, I'm treating you good because it feels amazing to me
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  yes, it did. Well, Lee, that sounds
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  transactional because it is it's a transaction without money
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  involved. Well, it could be some money
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  involved because they a lot of times they're using money to
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  love mommy, right. Not all the time, but a lot of
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  times. So not love.
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  Obama can just be an ear right sometimes.
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  That that, that. That'd be a good video to do.
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  Y'all think it'd be a good video to do right there?
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  Like how love bombing doesn't have to involve money.
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  Like the different types of love bombing, What they can do during
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  the love bombing phase. That might be love bombing
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  tactics. I'll put that down.
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  That'd be a that might be a video coming up here pretty
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  soon, y'all, but I want to make you feel good because I feel
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  great. I'm getting so much narcissistic
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  supply. I'm getting so much validation.
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  I'm getting so much from love bombing you that I love it.
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  Why would I want to damn near like, why would I want to do
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  anything else when I'm getting so much from doing this with
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  you, from doing this for you and I?
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  There are a lot of people to get addicted to it, right?
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  But just like any other addiction, when you get when
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  you're getting high off your own supply, right, you get tired of
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  it, it get it can get boring. It's not sustainable.
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  Well, Lee, if they feel good doing the love by me face, why
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  don't they just keep love by me to make themselves feel good?
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  Because it's not sustainable, right?
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  It's not, it's just not A lot of times it's not financially
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  sustainable, but also it's not emotionally sustainable because
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  you like doing the same thing over and over again with the
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  same person can become boring to that narcissistic people because
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  I think a lot of people understand that narcissist, a
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  lot of us suffer from chronic boredom.
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  We are chronically bored damn near.
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  So it's just like sooner or later we're going to get tired
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  of doing the same thing over and over again.
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  You might feel great, but I don't.
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  I'm tired of the same thing happening over and over again,
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  right? I'm sick of the same thing
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  happening over again. It's just like I'm getting
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  bored, I'm getting exhausted. It's not sustainable.
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  A lot of people ask me how to how to point out whether it's
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  real love or love bombing. Ask yourself that question right
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  there. Is this sustainable, right?
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  Is what they're doing for you sustainable in any way, shape or
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  form? Because that's extremely
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  important, right? How sustainable is this?
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  What they're doing to you, what they're doing for you, how
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  they're treating you, how they're behaving, the trips, the
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  money, whatever they're doing is the sustainable long time.
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  Now some of y'all might have a rich powerful narcissist, right?
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  So the, the financial part, yes, that's sustainable.
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  But that emotionally connected part, is that sustainable?
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  Typically, it's not going to be the answer to their question is
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  going to be no, like, damn, are they going?
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  Is this is it always going to be this way?
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  And once that narcissist gets bored, once they feel like the
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  supply is running out or it doesn't feel the same anymore,
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  they're not getting the same quality of supply from you that
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  they normally got from love bombing you.
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  They tend to start to devalue you and it because it doesn't
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  feel the same anymore. It can't be me, right?
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  This is it's just the mind inside the mind of a narcissist
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  like this doesn't feel the same anymore.
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  What's going on? And it can't be me.
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  It takes 2 to tango, but I'm not dancing.
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  It's them, so it has to be them. So they started to blame you for
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  the shift in the relationship, right?
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  And once they start blaming you, they start to devalue you and
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  take the love away. A lot of times they take the
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  love away slowly, but sometimes they take it away damn near post
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  hates. They speak their speed running
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  to take away the love. You know, they're, they're
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  speeding to take away the love and whatnot from you.
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  This happens to a lot of people. You know, they're, they're,
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  they're racing to they're racing to get away from you.
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  They're racing it. So once they take the love away,
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  guess what happens? Because like, like an addict,
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  they want, they need, they need a hit.
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  So in order to, in order to get to feel the newness, in order to
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  feel that, to feel how I felt before I find a new supply, a
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  new dealer, right? Because the the, the, the, the,
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  the love, the love drugs are not the same anymore.
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  They don't feel the same anymore coming from you.
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  So I find a new dealer, a new supply and I love bomb them
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  because now it feels new then. And that should let y'all know
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  because a lot of people ask me, is the love real?
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  Sometimes they can feel real. But because it could, because it
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  could end so quickly and because it's not sustainable a lot of
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  time, the love bombing is not real authentic love.
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  I'm not saying it never is. I'm not saying that they never
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  ever like cared about you or anything like that.
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  I'm, I'm not saying that, I'm just saying it's not real for,
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  for most narcissistic people, right?
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  It's not going to be real. It's just they're getting what
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  they want from you and they're moving on to someone else.
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  So that and I guess what happens during the next phase doing,
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  doing what they doing what they have going on with the new
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  supply, They're taking the stuff they learn from you and they're
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  using it to love bomb the next person.
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  They're using it to manipulate the next person.
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  They're using it against the next person.
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  And guess what happens? You, you going against the
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  grain, You're watching it. You have on your, I call it the
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  narcissist TV. You're watching the narcissistic
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  television and it's like reality TV and it's not serving any
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  purpose. Then you, you, then you, you
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  watch what they're doing with the news, the new person.
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  And then you go online, you find my page or you find somebody
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  else's page. You be like, are they treating
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  the new supply better? They look so happy.
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  What are you watching? What are you watching?
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  The love bombing phase, you see, And I bet you were happy in the
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  beginning, right? But then sooner or later it
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  shifted to unhappiness. It shifted to you feeling less
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  worthy. It shifted to you feeling less
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  valuable, didn't it? This is what happens.
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  This is a consequence of the circumstance, right?
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  I'm not saying you deserve it, but that when you're watching to
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  treat somebody else better or treat somebody else in a
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  different way that they treated you.
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  They, they give me everything that I, they give the next
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  person everything that I wanted. Why they doing that?
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  Because it works. It's the love bombing phase.
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  That's why you have to stop paying, shopping, going and
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  watching what they're doing for the next person.
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  A lot of times they're doing this type of stuff to hurt you
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  because they get narcissistic supply from hurting you as well.
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  Because you reach out and you ask them, will you look so happy
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  online so I can be enough for you.
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  And now your feelings are hurt again because now they feel
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  better, they feel good because they're getting narcissistic
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  supply from you. They're getting validation from
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  you and they're getting validation from the new supply,
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  right? The new supplies in thrall is in
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  love with them, is getting love bombed and you are still hanging
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  around and you're letting them know that that they still have
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  access to you, that they still matter to you.
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  So they feel double validated. So they feel great.
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  So sometimes like say again, guess what happens?
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  It's not sustainable. Just because they believe they
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  got married, they're engaged, they're doing this, they're
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  doing that, it doesn't mean it's sustainable.
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  There are millions of unhappy married people.
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  I don't just see why people always just think because people
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  get married that they're happy. You know how many people I've
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  talked to, they've gotten married on on their wedding day,
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  They're just like, I knew I shouldn't have done it.
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  I didn't feel right. And they still got married
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  anyway. We spent too much money.
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  We did this, My parents were there, everybody was in town.
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  Well, I just feel like I couldn't cut it off.
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  So I got married to a person I didn't care about anymore.
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  I got married to a person that I didn't, I didn't feel right
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  marrying, but I felt pressured into marrying them and I felt
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  pressured into staying in the relationship.
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  And they unhappy people get married too.
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  So I think some people see people get engaged and stuff
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  like that, you automatically assume that they're happy and
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  we're not. But they're not always going to
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  be happy. They're not always going to be
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  happy. They're not always going to be
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  feeling good about themselves. They're not.
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  This is not going to always happen, y'all?
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  That's why I said you have, if you want to fully heal, you have
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  to stop watching that stuff. What are you getting out of
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  watching that stuff, right? What is going on there?
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  What are you getting from that? What are you getting from
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  watching the narcissist TV? Other than some pain and some
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  hurt and the feeling bad about yourself?
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  What are you getting in that situation from them?
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  What's going on? You see what I'm saying?
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  What are you getting from watching the narcissist TV?
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  What is going on? What is the benefit of doing
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  that? What is the benefit you like?
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  Even if you look on that page and they've broken up, guess
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  what? You're still not going to feel
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  good. You can start feeling bad.
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  Well, whose feelings are hurt? What happened?
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  There's no good of watching their stuff because I said
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  narcissistic people, they they're, they love love bombing.
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  Y'all, I'm just telling you it's an it's damn near an addiction.
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  It's an it really is an addictive substance When you get
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  the love bombing and doing this type of stuff, it really, really
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  is it really and it just doesn't stop.
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  Why would it stop it? Why would it stop if it works?
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  You know, you see what I'm saying?
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  Why would it stop if it clearly works?
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  Why would I stop doing this if it clearly works for me, if it's
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  clearly serving its purpose, why would I stop love bombing?
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  I get validation from it. And I only say it you when you
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  love bombing, good. And when the narcissist, the
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  person is love bombing you, good, or love bombing the new
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  supply good. And there's people in the
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  comment section. There's Oh my goodness, y'all
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  made for each other but they got you roses.
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  Oh, they gave you the cheeks. Oh y'all taking these trips.
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  Oh my goodness, y'all are made for each other.
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  Oh, my goodness, they're getting so full of narcissistic supply.
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  This is why they love the love bombing phase.
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  This is precisely why. And so many people just like,
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  damn it, Lee, how do we break free of that?
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  What do we, what do we do about that?
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  I how do we, how do we separate ourselves from it?
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  Sometimes you can't, y'all. Sometimes you have to like, if
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  you feel like you're getting love bombed, like you have to be
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  able to use the word no. I feel like yeah, and I, I know
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  I say this a lot, but y'all have got to learn how to say the
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  word. No, you got to like you cannot,
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  Yeah, yeah, You cannot be in a happy, healthy relationship
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  saying yes to every single thing.
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  That's my belief. I know people are going to
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  disagree. Well, yeah, Lee, I've never said
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  no. And I'm extremely happy.
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  Why are we doing following me for the comedy?
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  You know what I mean? There.
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  There's some questions going on there.
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  Why are you following me? If you, if you're if you're
• 14:44
  extremely happy, what are we doing following me?
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  Why are you doing following me? Maybe you follow me because one
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  of your friends or family members is in a narcissistic
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  relationship. You see what I'm saying?
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  There's there's there's reasons. But again, y'all, we can
• 14:55
  disagree. I'm open to disagreements.
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  Like you can say no to me, that's fine.
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  Again, I'm not going to be like, oh hell no, you're stupid.
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  Why did I do that? No, you know what I'm saying?
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  No. So you have to learn how to use
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  the word no and use it effectively.
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  You have to. Yo, this is one of those things
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  you have to learn how to use the word no effectively.
• 15:20
  You have to learn how to use the word no, and you don't have to
• 15:23
  say yes to every single thing. Well, leave their love bombing
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  the hell out of me. It's hard to say no.
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  I didn't want that diamond necklace.
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  But if I would have said no, they would have felt, I would
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  have felt ungrateful and they would have left me alone.
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  They would have left me alone. You see what I'm saying?
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  You can say no. You can say healthy people
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  respect boundaries. They respect they respect the
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  word no, you know what I'm saying and they will show you
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  who they really are if you said the word and he's the word now
• 15:49
  anyway y'all hope y'all enjoyed this video like and subscribe
• 15:52
  for more like I said we doing 22 longer videos a day We had to
• 15:55
  cut back the 3-4 longer videos was draining me also y'all know
• 15:59
  I'm maintaining this other channel right here Lee actions
• 16:03
  Lee dot actions is my reaction channel over there.
• 16:05
  Thank you so much for tuning in and as always, y'all, as always,
• 16:08
  your boy mentor hummus. I'm out.
• 16:12
  Peace. Thank you so much for making it
• 16:13
  to the end of my video. I'm extremely grateful for you
• 16:16
  have no idea. If you haven't already, make
• 16:18
  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel helps reach more
• 16:20
  people and click on the screen to watch another video or to
• 16:23
  browse to another playlist. There's also a link on the
• 16:25
  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 16:28
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 16:30
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 16:32
  video. Peace.