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Bonus Ep 2: Am I the A**hole · Bald Enough to Say It

• Jen: Blame it on the juice. Oops. Barry: So what's the order? Jen: Weekend Update Barry: Week in update. Jen: ⁓ weak update. Shaun: weekend update. Barry: Woke up. Jen: Okay. Love, Island. What was the other one? Barry: And then are we the asshole? Or are you am I the asshole? Shaun: and I'll be as well. Jen: Am I the asshole? Shaun: I filmed a couple of them, I think I filmed one that's pretty good. Barry: And it Jen: a good one. Barry: Like it'll be tough to decide or no? It's pretty obvious. Shaun: I think that there might be a little back and forth between the two of you. Jen: They are the... Barry: Shaun just sucks us to argue. Shaun: Honestly, I don't know if y'all will, but I just think that maybe there could be. Jen: He does. He's just hoping we fight. Hmm, okay. Barry: A difference of opinion. Shaun: Maybe. Barry: I bet you he's pitting a man thought versus a woman thought. Jen: For sure. For sure. I don't know. His voice went up a little bit when he said that. People do that when they lie. Shaun: I don't think so. I don't think it's that much. Barry: No. Shaun: Thank Jen: I don't know why this happened. I don't know. Shaun: I don't know. ⁓ man. Jen: So funny. Shaun: ⁓ we're already recording. All right, ⁓ Jen: Mm-hmm. Shaun: All right, we good? Barry: Yeah. Jen: Yeah, reality. Shaun: I don't know what I'm supposed to say. Barry: Episode seven. Shaun: Episode seven. Hey, all right, cool. Jen: Welcome back. Listen Barry we get hype how we need to get hype. Okay. I've been in a car for the last like six hours Barry: ⁓ boy. Y'all get it going. Y'all get it. Shaun: Yes, you drink we just get hyped up Barry: Can't wait to hear about that. Shaun: Ooh. All right, let's kick it off then. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to episode seven of Bald Enough to Say It. If you are new here, make sure that you do go down and you like and subscribe this video. If you are returning, make sure that you have already subscribed. If you haven't, check us out www.baldenoughtosayit.com. You've got all of our socials there. The YouTube is there. Apple Podcasts, Spotify. Jen: something. Shaun: All of the good stuff. Plus you can get some of our merch as well. Show that support. But if you have not been here before, something that we like to do to get started is just kind of check up on each other. See how the week has been since the last time that we have had the opportunity to talk. So Jen, what's been going on with you, ma'am? How you feeling? How's your week been? Jen: It's been a long week. I feel so very tired. lot of personal things, house things ⁓ happening. We took a mini little trip to Grapevine to the Great Wolf Lodge for the kiddo. Yes we did. I got my wolf ears. They don't really go over the... Are you? Shaun: Okay. Barry: Next Friday we'll go there. ⁓ we've been We're this is our second trip. Well ⁓ we're not going to the one you went to. We're going to Houston. There's a new one in Houston. So But how did the kiddos like it? Did y'all complete the Magi quest? Shaun: Ooh, nice. ⁓ got the ears. Dang. What are the chances? Jen: You'll love it. ⁓ yeah, you'll love it. It's a great time. Shaun: Nah, put those back on. Jen: ⁓ where are going? ⁓ okay, yep. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it was a good time. Quest, I should have brought my wand because best believe I was doing it too. ⁓ It was great. The only one that did was Lincoln ⁓ he was so committed to this. Like it does to finish it because there's so much and you're going up and down all the floors. It's insane. Yes. So you have to do these tasks, Shaun. It's this thing where you get to become basically a wizard. You get a wand ⁓ you go ⁓ Barry: I believe that. Bro, it takes commitment to finish it. It really does. There's a lot. ⁓ my gosh. It's insanity. Shaun: you Barry: Y'all you get to pick your one too. Shaun: you Jen: throughout the hotel, you get to go around and do these quests. So it tells you, go find these three ruins or these three symbols throughout the hotel. Come back and bring them back to me. Yes. Yes. It's honestly so cute and so fun. And Lincoln was committed like the very next day. So we got there the very next day. He woke me up at 628 in the morning and said, Mom, are you ready for our magical adventure? Barry: And there's like riddles as a p kind of a part of it. Yeah, it's all kinds of craziness. Shaun: Hmm. Barry: ⁓ heck to the no bo. Shaun: ⁓ no. Jen: And I was like, ⁓ my God. I mean, committed. He gave up swim time for this thing. He, yes, literally that's what he said. He was like, you told me I had to wait until the sky was bright. I was like, it's not bright. It's barely, barely light. Yeah, it sure does. But it was a really good time. Barry: He was committed for real, bro. At six twenty. Soon as the s the sun was up, he was out, ready to go. Shaun: locked in. Barry: Dude, you can't say that on in the summertime. That's shoot. Starts coming up early. Shaun: So the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, right? Cause you're big into like Harry Potter and stuff. So is that kind of like his version? Barry: ⁓ yeah. Jen: Very. We are very much a nerdy family. We love all the magical things. We love Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones. We are nerds, and that's fine with me. Barry: Hey. It's a good time. Shaun: There you go. It's each their own, right? Jen: to each their own, but they had a great time. It was a really fun time. Exhausting, but fun. Yeah. Yeah. Shaun: That's what's up. Still good to get away and take a break from the whole rigmarole of everything and the kids get to enjoy the summer too. making those memories. That's what it's about. Right. How was yours, Barry? ⁓ Barry: It is Jen: Yeah. Yeah. Barry: Especially when you can perform magic. Did y'all do like the whole ninety nine dollar add on stuff they been getting you in? Yeah, they get you, bro. Dude. Jen: ⁓ for sure. We did all the things. That's how they get you. They get you with a nice stay for like not a bad price and everything's included. Then you get there and it's like, you could do this and you could do this. So we had to get the wolf pass that had all the cool things. I mean, I really do think it's worth it, but it is. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So it's all there and you do all the things. Barry: It really isn't that bad, but then all the add ons That's all we get, the wolf pass, yep. Yeah. I mean, if you're gonna do it all, it you do save a little bit. But Shaun: Isn't that the part of going to a resort though? Is to do like all of the little things? Barry: Yeah. Did y'all do the food plan? We don't eat on site. We used did you? How was the food? Jen: We did. We did do the food plan. I think it's, it was all right. I feel like the buff... Well, the breakfast buffets smacked. Like those are so good. The dinner buffet, I don't know if it was worth it. It was kind of whack. And then we, the second day we did the restaurant that's there and it was, we were thinking the restaurant was going to be more expensive than the buffet and the buffet was actually more expensive and the food was way better at the restaurant. Barry: It's like cafeteria food, I mean. Was it pretty legit? Okay. Hmm. Whack. Mm. ⁓ yeah, they do. Good to know. Jen: So next time we go back, we'll definitely just stick to the restaurant. Yeah, for sure. For sure. But yeah. Barry: Hit up the restaurant. Yeah. That's dope. Yeah, we're interested to see what Houston's like. I'm hoping it's a little newer for sure. I mean it's a shorter trip. That was one of the reasons we chose it. So Yeah, saves you about two hours. Hmm. No. Ten can be its own beast, but not usually till you get into Houston. So yeah. Should be alright though. Jen: Yeah, definitely let us know because maybe we could hit up that one next time. Yes, it is a much shorter trip because getting back we hit Austin traffic right around 530. Yeah, exactly. It can. Shaun: Yeah. Yeah, you don't have to deal with 35 going to Houston. That's true. Yeah, we're pretty close to it. Nice. Jen: Yeah. Yeah. Barry: Naw, my weekend started off with a little bit of a I'd say a scare. So ⁓ enough, like I don't know, way back when we recorded, I think it was the first or second episode. Remember how we like lost power at right at the end? And that night our bed got stuck. Well, Friday night, my daughter comes down at like nine forty five. She's like, Dad, the bed won't go down. I'm like, ⁓ but the powers I was like, Well, I don't know. Jen: What happened? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. ⁓ no. ⁓ no. Barry: So I go up like thinking that I like it was like like the bed was broken. Cause yo, I tried everything. ⁓ it c has like little nine volts that you're supposed to put in the little power pack if it doesn't have power and that's supposed to give you enough to like lower nothing, bro. So I I'd literally mess with it for like forty five minutes. I'm probably close to an hour. And like it's just not gonna work. Like I couldn't figure it out. So Jen: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Barry: I look at the little arm mechanism on there and I'm like, I could just take the pen out. So that's what I do. I take the pin out to lower the bed down. This is like eleven. Now luckily I was smart. I thought ahead. I was like Becca or I was like you and our oldest go get on each side and I'm gonna hold it while I take the pen out and I need y'all just to make sure it doesn't fall . Jen: ⁓ my god. Barry gets crushed. I'm gonna do see where this is going. Okay. Shaun: Hehehehehe Jen: Hold it. Barry: So I was smart enough. But then so then of course I'm like laying in bed like, dude, what's wrong? Like I'm have to get somebody out here to fix the bed. So then I'm like, all right, I need to test the the outlets. Like for some reason there's not a power getting there. And Becca came to bed like at something and she was like saying her fan was I was like, ⁓ great, now it's like electrical problems, like in the walls. So then I'm like, ⁓ maybe the bed's not broken, but you know, go to bed since we can sleep. Jen: ⁓ no. ⁓ no. Barry: So then get up early in the morning, yo. I check every outlet in the house. Like there's gotta be a G F C. I popped or something 'cause the breakers were all good. I checked those on Friday night once Becca came and woke me up like at one in the morning. Shaun: Yeah. Jen: Yeah. You Barry: So it's like ten the next morning and I'm still trying to figure it out, bro, I can't I'm like I'm gonna have to call electrician. Like I have no clue. Don't know. Like I get my multimeter out, like it literally no power to the to it to anything, just the two outlets on the wall where our bed is and that's where it's plugged into. And I'm like I can't figure it out. So I like pack all my stuff up, start walking out the room and I look at the wall. There's a switch. Jen: Are you serious? The whole time? Right? That's so funny. Shaun: You don't even know your own house, Barry: Bro, we haven't been here a year. And I was like, ⁓ my god. Shaun: ⁓ God, that's hilarious. Jen: Good. Shaun: You almost paid for an electric- electricians are not cheap. Jen: That was, yeah, thank goodness you noticed before that. Shaun: Yeah. Jen: Could you imagine how embarrassing that would have been though if you did hire an electrician and they had to come in and just be like Barry: ⁓ I would have come in completely embarrassed. Cause I'm a pretty handy dude. And I'm just walking out the bedroom. But I walked by that switch like twenty times trying to figure this out. Well, like I was outside for looking at GFCI plugs, like trying to figure out what the hell happened, man. But it was simple. Sometimes you just gotta take a step back. Now I just need to take a step back. Like I literally just like ⁓ right there in front of me. Shaun: Bro, my god. Jen: ⁓ that would have been so good. Shaun: All right. Jen: We all have our moments, Yeah. First world problems. Shaun: First of all, problems, bro. Talk about it. My bed that likes to go up and down and massages and does all the crazy stuff wasn't working. Like, man. Barry: No, I mean for real. For real. completely first world problems. But then ⁓ that was how the weekend started. Saturday was pretty chill. ⁓ Jen behind your back. Me Shaun made plans, but Shaun, he's like, We can't do it to Jen. No. No, we were just joking about going to the river on Saturday. But Jen: and down. too funny. Shaun: That's crazy. Nah. Jen: Guys. Shaun: We're gonna go, yeah. Jen: this Saturday? ⁓ but you didn't, right? See, even Mother Nature knew y'all were doing some shady shit without me and was like, hell nah, go sit back down. Barry: No, this past Saturday we were talking about it, but then the weather the weather was yeah. Shaun: No, this past Saturday. Yeah. The weather turned. Yeah. Barry: That's there you go. No. Shaun: Nah, whatever. You were going doing your own fun stuff. Why can't we have fun too? Yeah, you're... Barry: You are on a magi quests. Jen: Yeah, I was doing fun stuff with the family, not without you guys. Shaun: You don't want to look at cheeks anyway, so it doesn't even matter to you. That's true. Yeah. That's true. It's a beautiful form. Barry: Nine Jen: Hey, you don't know, okay? We've never had that kind of discussion. I might like cheeks too. Barry: Yeah. I think most people can. Yeah. But no, it didn't happen. ⁓ I mean, I'll guess you'll tell us here a sec. I know what Shaun was one of his missions for the weekend was. ⁓ But ⁓ that's good. Sunday night. ⁓ Jen: Yeah, women are beautiful. All right. I can appreciate a nice canvas. Shaun: Mm-hmm, Canvas. I like the way that's worded. Jen: You Shaun: Yeah. ⁓ yeah, one of my missions for the weekend. Luckily that got worked out, yeah. Jen: ⁓ yeah. Barry: My okay, so a little bit of backstory. I have a 14 year old, right? She's going growing into a young woman and wanting to express herself. Well, she's all about ear piercings. I as a 16 year old, ⁓ I mean I'm she probably will eventually. But I as a 16-year-old kid, my mom took me and got my tongue pierced because that was something I wanted when I was underage. Jen: Hmm. Ooh. She went like a whole... Shaun: you Yeah. Barry: And she allowed it, so I was cool with the piercing. Becca was a little more against it. But I was like, dude, if it's if it doesn't turn out well, you just take it out and it grows back. It's I mean, we waste the money, but she really wanted it and another parent failure. I haven't paid her allowance probably like all year long. So she's like, Dad, you haven't paid me, so this is what I want. And I was like, Check it off. Let's we'll call it square. I'll pay for the piercing. Jen: How interesting. This is you paying up. You'd probably save some pennies here or there. Barry: ⁓ no, I probably didn't, but it's all good. But she went and got a Helix piercing. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Top of the year. Well, she wanted both, and you can't get both at the same time because it's super like you can really mess it up easily because the cartilage doesn't have a lot of blood flow so it doesn't heal that fast. So they're like, it's a nine to twelve months recovery, like till you're fully healed. Shaun: Alright. Jen: ⁓ that's this one, right? Or no? Mm-hmm. Shaun: you Jen: Hmm. ⁓ Mm-hmm. Yeah. Shaun: Jeez. Jen: Dang. Barry: Yeah. So they were like you have to keep one ear that you can sleep on. So she was a little upset about that. But then she also got a kinda got upset that sh she was like, I can't get it 'cause then I can't wear it for sports. I like, dude, by the time sports roll around, like you can wear a a clear plastic thing that they won't even and just tape it. It'll be alright, like she got all in her emotions a little bit, but then it all worked out. So Jen: Yeah, without messing up the other one. something. Shaun: Yeah. It's awesome. Barry: it, she took it, yeah. She got her little little ⁓ I what is it, iodide iodized blue stud. So ⁓ Yeah. But full on needle and everything went through her ear. It's fun to watch. ⁓ I like, dang, I did that with like I did that with my tongue. It was crazy. But yeah. Jen: Does she like it? okay. How cute. Shaun: White-eyes blue. Sounds fancy. Jen: That's so fun. Mm-hmm. With your tongue? That's wild. Yeah, no. Mm-mm. But do you still have the tongue piercing barrier or you let it close up? Shaun: your tongue. Man, I want to get my ears pierced again. I loved it. Barry: Actually it is close. I tried to like see if it was still it lasted a long time without having ⁓ any like piercing or in it. Like probably within the last ten years I probably could still get like a toothpick through it, but it's no longer able. I could probably force some through it, but it would bleed, I bet. Jen: But also... Shout out Shaun: Hmm. Barry: Yeah, they let me express myself in all the ways I wanted to express myself for real. And the ways they didn't even know, so you know. You know, I mean that was before that, so they didn't even know. It was fine. That was water under the bridge by then. Shaun: ⁓ gosh. Jen: That's so funny. Shaun: And you pay them back by still in their car and going on late night rides with your friends. Gosh. So would you get your tongue pierced again? Jen: and go late night rides with Ray. She knows now. Barry: ⁓ yeah. I don't have a problem with it. It it was fun to play with. Shaun: Yeah. Jen: It didn't hurt. Barry: ⁓ it feels like biting your tongue, that's or at least that's how I remember it. Just a quick like pinch. And then it feels weird to have s something through it. What'd you say, Shaun? Nah. Nah. Nah, none of that. I would probably not do anything that like you could see on my face. I do have my ears pierced and those are still open. I could still get a hearing in. Jen: Okay. Mm-hmm. Shaun: I can see you with a lip piercing. I can see you with a lip piercing. Like a stud going through your lip or something like that. I can see you with that. Jen: Yeah. Shaun: Hmm. Jen: You don't want an eyebrow. Shaun: man. Barry: Drunk nights Becca gets me to put her earrings on. No, I'm joking. Jen: So when we're trying to get a little crazy. Shaun: No you're not. He would definitely do it. Barry: I'm not. I probably would. But nah. Yeah, I do a tongue piercing again. But Jen: That's too funny. ⁓ Shaun: Alright, cool. What are we gonna do with him? Probably be a few months, but we're gonna go, we're gonna get your... Yeah, we're gonna get your tongue pierced. Jen: So, pedicure, then piercings. Barry: ⁓ crazy. Becca had a nose piercing twice. She took it out and put it back in. Not like in the same she got a pierced two separate times. I think same nostril too. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Shaun: Really? Dang. Jen: The same, yeah, the same thing. ⁓ Shaun: I can see that. I can see her with the nose piercing. Why not? Jen: Yeah, I can see it here with that nose ring. You don't like it? Why? Barry: I'm not a big fan. I don't think just nose piercing in general, I don't know. I'm not a big fan. I guess I'm not a big fan of facial piercings. Shaun: So you can express yourself, but she can't express hers. ⁓ gotcha. Jen: Interesting. Barry: I don't mind ears. I mean, if you can't see it exactly, then it doesn't bother me. Jen: has to be internal facial hair. You just can't see it. Yeah. He likes piercings as long as it can't be seen. So nipples are up next for him. I don't know. Shaun: you Barry: I don't mind ear piercings. I mean, no, not for me. No. Shaun: Not for me. ⁓ man, you never know what might happen, dog. Barry: Yeah. I'm good. Mm, I'm pretty sure I know that it will not happen. I mean I definitely feel that in most things in life, Jen, for sure. Don't knock it to try, but I don't that's not something I want to try. So Jen: Yeah, don't knock it till you try it, I don't know. Shaun: Yeah, drunk nights. You never know. Jen: Don't knock it till you try it. Shaun: . Man, that's what's up. Jen: I guess. Barry: And yeah, that kinda rounds out my weekend. I play golf Sunday too, so Shaun: Nice. Jen: Have Shaun: Well, I my week was I don't even honestly remember my week at this point. I don't know what I did or what I didn't do or anything like that. I know there's been a lot of craziness happening in my in my own life, which can't really talk about that right now, but that'll come up at some other point. ⁓ But yeah, Barry started to allude to my weekend, something that happened this weekend, or I guess let me give the backstory of this. I bought a house a couple of years ago and Jen: Shaun. You Yeah. Shaun: It's a new build. The landscape that they put into the house, the tree, died very quickly. Incredibly disappointing, I guess is the word. But to add insult to injury, my HOA started charging me fees because the tree was dead. I'm like, didn't even, it's not even my tree. Like didn't even ask for this. It's just part of the landscaping package. So y'all put it in here. Freaking ended up giving me a dead tree, but whatever. Jen: Mm-hmm. Aww. Mm-hmm. I didn't put it there. Yeah. Barry: Dude, I hate HOAs, bro. Jen: Mm-mm. Barry: I remember that thing. It was sad in your garage when I when I saw it at some point. Yeah, I remember that. It and well that's how weak it was in the ground, bro. It was weak. Said you ain't gonna charge me no more. Shaun: Dude, I ripped it up by my bare hands. That's how pissed off I was. It was weak. I just went out there and just ripped it up with my bare hands. was like, y'all are getting, like, y'all are getting on my nerves with this. So all of that happened. And then last year I was like, all right, whatever, I'm going to go buy some new trees. So I got one for the front yard and one for the backyard. The one in the backyard is doing great. But the one in the front yard, which was a Jen: He got that third fee and he said this. Yay. Barry: Same. Shaun: beautiful crepe myrtle ended up dying. Jen: ⁓ Barry: Is it the same spot that the other one died? Shaun: Yeah, so the same spot the other one died, but it got treated like the spot was treated. They treated everything that was there. They said that nothing looked out of place. It looked like it was fine. Crate mortals are supposed to be extremely, I guess, strong or versatile. Yeah. And he even mentioned that at one point they were considered invasive because they grow so well. And so they learned that the roots don't interrupt like structures. But Jen: weather tolerant. Barry: Like resilient. Shaun: It ended up dying. So this past weekend, that's what I went. I have been trying to get in touch with them. I'm like texting them, calling them like, Hey, my tree is dead. I need somebody to come and check it out, make sure that everything like get replaced. They would text me for a little bit. I send them pictures. They're like, okay, cool. Never hear anything back. That happened like three times. I'm like, you know what? I'm going up there because it's almost been a year and y'all aren't about to say that, Hey, you mass you passed your date or anything like that. Jen: Mm-hmm. Barry: ⁓ you missed your window for real, bro. Jen: He said, my middle name's Karen, so let's go. Shaun: Exactly. Yeah, I'm like, no, I'm going to sit here in the office until you all figure this out. So I went up there and they were like, yeah, OK, like we see it. What we're going to do is we're going to send our arborist out there so he can take a look at it. Right. Exactly. I mean, this is a pretty well-known nursery. I'm not going to throw anything out there because I don't know, but well-known nursery. They're like, you're going to send our arborist out there. He can take a look at it. But in the meantime, you can go ahead and pick out a new tree. So I went tree shopping. Jen: you Barry: Ooh, fancy, y'all got a arborist? Hm, that's good. ⁓ Shaun: picked out a new tree. Hopefully the arborist is gonna come out here within the week or next week or something like that. And then once he comes out and confirms that the tree is dead, I guess, I mean, it is dead. I don't know what else you want from me. But once he confirms it, then they'll replace it. Dude, so I sent the pictures. Right? Because, yeah. Jen: the button. Barry: I mean I'm sure the pictures show that it's dead, right? Jen: But also, can he tell you why these trees keep dying? Yeah. Yeah. Barry: That's what that's my thing. If it's the same spot they keep dying and that's supposed to be a super like resilient, easy tree to grow. Shaun: Yeah, which is crazy because the one in the backyard is great. Like it's growing very well. Like everything is good with it. Yeah. And ACE runs around back there playing with it all the time. And that one's still doing well, but... Barry: Hm. There has to be something in the ground. Jen: flourishing. Barry: Mm. Yeah, that's he's getting fertilized. That's why you're getting ace out there dropping them things, bro. Shaun: Probably yeah, yeah, they're dropping on it, but I Don't know so we'll see hopefully he comes out pretty soon and the tree can get delivered and planted because I am over not having some sort of Block for the Sun coming into my living room in the very early morning So hopefully that'll work out pretty soon, but we'll see It's it's pretty good. It's a Barry: Mm-hmm. ⁓ How big a tree is it? Jen: problems. Shaun: maybe like nine feet tall or so, like eight and a half, nine feet tall, something like that. It's got some pretty good, like I guess a canopy has got a pretty good canopy on it too. So it'll, it'll give a good amount of like size to it. That spring is killing me dog. You're good. Yeah. Y'all just heard chin spring. Nah, leave it in there. Leave it in. That's crazy. Barry: ⁓ dang. Jen: ⁓ Barry: Okay. Jen: Mm-hmm. That was my bad. I hid it. We'll mute me. No, no they won't because we'll mute it later. Barry: Super Spring. Super Spring. Y'all just heard Jin's superpower. Shaun: But yeah, so that was the bulk of my weekend is getting that taken care of, which was part of the reason why we couldn't go and see Cheeks too because... Barry: He was trying to be a responsible homeowner. Shaun: The weather was turning, I'm trying to be a responsible homeowner. Jen: it's not like we couldn't go to the river and hang out. It's we couldn't go see Cheeks. Shaun: Yeah, it has nothing. I don't really care about the river. Once I found out that you can just sit there and you don't have to float the river and there's cheeks everywhere. Come on, why not? Yeah, there'll be nothing there. Lies. I don't know why y'all are lying to me about this. Barry: It's like that's Shaun's only motivation, I think, straight up for real. Watch. Jen: It is his only motivation. and just watch cheeks go by. Barry: Just sit there and watch but watch when we go, then everybody gonna have their cheeks covered up. Shaun's gonna be all disappointed. Never doing it again. Jen: Mm-hmm. You're never coming back. Barry: I mean I don't know, bro. Shaun: Just trying to get me out there to, I mean, trying to lure me out there in the water. I'm just saying, I never know. Barry: No, I Jen: Mm-hmm. Barry: Telling you Schlitterbahn or the river, bro, you're gonna see some. No? Not a water park guy? It's the world's best water park, bro. Shaun: Dog, there's pee. There's gotta be pee everywhere. Yeah, no, I'm not doing that. At least in the river, it's flowing water and it's all of that stuff. ⁓ Jen: We're going to Schlitterbun, it's the most fun. Barry: ⁓ a hundred percent. Jen: ⁓ for sure. Barry: It's sterile, bro. It's sterile. Jen: So they say, but even at like Great Wolf this past weekend, was like, this is so gross. Barry: I don't I would not recommend drinking the water, but definitely I mean, I'm a I don't put my head underwater, so I guess whatever. Jen: Hmm. Shaun: Get out of the water and immediately need to take a shower. I don't even want to get in my car afterwards. Because I'll have pee. Jen: Yeah. Yeah. It's nasty. Shaun: We'll see though. I don't know. But yeah, that was the bulk of my week. Hopefully it'll be switching up pretty soon and we'll get some good news and we'll see what else is gonna be happening. Jen: Hmm. cross fingers. Save the tree please. Shaun: Save the tree or save this future tree because I'm not buying any more trees after that. Trees are stupid expensive. Yeah. Yeah. Jen: At least this one. The other one's, I don't know, it's out of our control. Just save this one. Barry: Then it's just gonna be a empty yard, bro. Yeah, they especially if you get nine footers, man. Jen: Yeah, if you get like already grown trees that you're just like transplanting somewhere. Yeah. Shaun: Mm-hmm. And that's what I want to do because I don't want to wait 15 years for a freaking tree to grow. I will definitely be gone by then. Like, I don't plan on being here but for a few more years. So, I mean, if we can get that taken care of, then cool. But I don't know. But yeah, that is mine. One of the biggest things about this weekend, World Cup, we had the quarterfinals. So much stuff happened, a bunch of controversy. Barry: Yeah. Well you might be gone by then too. Yeah. Jen: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Barry: Yeah. Jen: So much. I feel like the games are like just nonstop and like so much is happening. I'm like, slow down. There were some controversial games. That's for sure. I'm just want to point out too. Well, how do we want to flow through this? Really? Do we want to go to our bracket first and kind of update or do we just want to dive right in? Okay. Barry: Dude. Shaun: Right. Yeah. Barry: There were some good games, man. Yeah. Shaun: What kind of controversial game is what you mean? I ⁓ Barry: I mean it's quick. No, we can go. Let's share real quick. ⁓ it's already updated. Shaun: take a look at it. It's terrible. Jen: Let's go update our bracket. It is not that bad. Shaun: I'm telling y'all y'all suck at picking soccer teams. I'm just gonna throw that out there. Barry: Mmm. ⁓ I suck at picking most sports, bro. That's why I don't we talked about it. That's why I don't bet. Hmm. Yeah. Jen: no. All of my picks have been pretty spot on except for Portugal, but that was just, you really holding out. Shaun: Okay. Okay. ⁓ ⁓ man. Barry: All right. So w up top here was actually Norway and England. That is actually one of the controversial games of the weekend. Tell us about it, Jen. You wouldn't have picked Norway England over Norway. I don't think you would have picked England over Norway. Jen: that is. But I will say I picked England at the beginning, okay? Hmm? I don't know. I mean, I want to say yes, I would have because England is so just historically better. So I feel like I would have went England, but you never know at this point because you're always going be like, just the next day one. But I also picked England to pick or beat Mexico and y'all are like, no, Mexico is going to get it. And then who won? Okay. Shaun: Don't hindsight us. ⁓ Barry: Mm, mm, mm. Mm-hmm. Shaun: Hmm. Barry: That's why you can't say that, Jen. You can't say, Well, that's what it been England. Shaun: Well, because we wanted to believe in Mexico, that's why. And they were playing in Mexico City. Jen: Okay, well, I'm just saying don't say that I wouldn't pick England when I did in the first place. Barry: yes. They had only lost there twice ever. So we were going with historically s statistical numbers, Jen Shaun: Yeah. Jen: In this, in this pool, not historically over World Cups of past, you were looking at this little. Shaun: talking about you. Okay. Barry: Yes. Okay, Portugal. All I'm gonna do is say okay, Portugal. You should be. 'Cause they probably shouldn't even made a made a pass Croatia, like you said. Shaun: Whatever. Jen: Listen, I'm still upset about it, all right? I will cry, Barry. I will. I didn't say that. I just said that the last ⁓ disallowed goal should probably have been allowed and then gone into extra time. I didn't say they should have lost. I still think they should have won, but they could have won an extra time without so much controversy. Barry: Mm. Okay. Mm. Hindsight. Hindsight is twenty twenty, I guess, huh? Yep. Jen: is all I said. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. But yes, very controversial games. Shaun: Right? Barry: Speaking of the the seismic chains of the ball, the England and Norway. Jen: Which have you seen their like explanations and stuff like that? Barry: Bruh, I don't trust FIFA ever anymore. They literally have told us one thing and what my eyes see completely say another. So I I don't believe it. I don't care what you say is in the ball. Shaun: Ha ha. Jen: No, I feel like it's- Mm-hmm. Yeah, that was going to be my biggest question. What do you think of VAR in general? Especially because this has been so horribly. But I think it's in general, really. Like even through some of the championships and the Premier League and stuff like that, I feel like it's so inconsistent. And I'm not even a huge soccer. Oops. I'm not even a huge soccer fan. I hit the thing. I don't know if it made noise. So for those that are like Kenny, Barry: It has been applied horribly in this World Cup. Horribly. I I think it is ⁓ I think Shaun: Mm-hmm. Jen: I'm sure it's infuriating sometimes because it truly is. When do they want to look at it? When do they not care? When do they want to say it did something? When did this not? Shaun: Yeah. Barry: I was gonna say that's the problem with soccer rules is they're very subjective. And these refs yes. And they get it wrong, unfortunately. Like Jen: very like the it's very much in the ref's hands for sure mm-hmm Shaun: you Well, even after VAR, it still goes back to the revs to confirm it on the field. Yeah, so it almost doesn't even make sense for them to do VAR at that point because they're just going to go with whatever they want on the field. Jen: Mm-hmm. Make a decision. Mm-hmm. Make a decision for it. Barry: Mm-hmm. No. No. I feel like checking for offsides. I feel like that one's probably the e best one 'cause it's technology. It and I don't know. I say that 'cause I don't believe the microchip that they say is registering seismic changes. Cause it registered when it touched the dude's hair but it clips a damn wire and it falls straight down and there's no seismic activity. Like what are we talking about? Jen: Yeah. Shaun: Yeah. Jen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. hair. Especially because they're like, ⁓ well, there wasn't any activity. You could have pulled that picture from anywhere. Why am I supposed to believe that when I'm seeing it hit it with my eyes? Yes. Yeah. Yes. Barry: Bro, it doesn't matter. Like, I literally watched the ball drop straight down. It changed direction and rotation. That was my argument against the whole hair thing. It didn't do that. And here we see it change direction, obviously, and then rotation changes. It wasn't like the ball like went up and wind knocked it straight down. No. It changed direction in air. Like what it what it like, what are we really trying to be convinced of? It's insane. Jen: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It literally went, Yeah. But I will say, what do you think? What are you, what's your opinion? Do you think if that would have been, that goal would have been disallowed, you still think that Norway would have pulled through and won it or you think... Barry: I mean, if that was the only goal that got ⁓ into to extra, why would I think anything different? Jen: Hmm. Barry: They didn't score until ninety second minute an extra time to win. Yeah. Jen: And then Bellingham pulled it out for him. mean, really. Barry: That's what I'm saying. That that only that goal that happened as a result of the ball being altered in flight was what tied the game for the remainder of the game. So Jen: Mm-hmm. that Haaland's dad like posted a bunch of stuff on social media? Like that they, the ref stole it and stuff like that. Yeah. Shaun: Mm-hmm. Barry: But no, I mean, and that's the problem. People have a right to be upset. And now I know they say that the ref said he didn't see it, but again, this is where V A R, if you're wanting to use it the right way, if somebody tells you that and you have a person who can actually watch the video and see that as a VAR referee, then they should call that down and say, you know what? We should've disallowed the goal. Jen: Yeah, 100%. Mm-hmm. And if you are actually using it, Mm-hmm. Yeah. But also, think about how many views they have on this soccer game, how many cameras they have going, how many angles. And for every single one I've seen, it's the same view. Exactly. So why are we not getting a closer view? Or why are we not being shown something? You know somebody can zoom into that. Barry: Dude, you can see it. It looks like it hits the damn wire. It's crazy. Well and they can take a back a goal. They took back a goal against Egypt. They literally took it back because they went back and saw a foul, which wasn't even a foul. That's what I like. No, there was no foul. So it's crazy. Like it is and this is the only time ever in the history of the World Cup that the top four ranked teams have made it. Tell me there ain't no I know people are like, What's the script? I don't think it's a script, but they can pull to get teams to win. Shaun: feel like this is the same conversation though. Jen: Okay. It wasn't a foul! That was gonna be one of my biggest things. Like... I mean... Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Shaun: I but I don't know. Barry: If they gonna tell these reps who needs to come out on top. Jen: I will say all four or five of the refs for that game were Argentinian. For the... Mm-hmm. Yeah, for sure. Barry: Ooh the the conspiracy deepens. Shaun: I think it is a conspiracy though. Because if you think about it, this is the same conversation across sports in general. Yeah, it happens in football, it happens in basketball, baseball, all of those different things. They get the call wrong. I think there's so much attention on the World Cup is what it is. Barry: No, all sports, bro. I'm just messing. But no. Yeah. But this has just been a lot in one tournament to see. Well that's true too, but to get it wrong five times that have really altered games that's a little much and mm-hmm. Like in their game altering calls. Jen: Well, exactly. I feel like there's always... Yeah, exactly. It's the amount that it's been happening. So like if you get one or two, yeah, you're playing a World Cup. It's in high intensity. You make a wrong call, whatever. But when it's so consistently blatant, poor decision making, contradictory decision making, exactly like we picked it for this one, but we didn't pick it up for this one, but they're almost like Shaun: bad luck. Mm-hmm. Barry: Yeah. Bad. Bad. Uh-huh. To whatever y'all are saying the technology's supposed to show. Jen: exactly the same type of thing happening. It's very inconsistent. that's where it, that I think that's what's making people so angry and heated about it, which is because the FIFA president has never come out and said, or not the FIFA president of the referees. Like he's in charge of them, has never spoken about any controversies or anything. This is the first time he's ever done it, but it's because it's so hyped up right now. Barry: Mm. Shaun: Mm-hmm. Barry: Like come out and mm. Jen: because it's so bad. Like it's so, yeah, it's so inconsistent that you have to recognize why people are upset. Yes, why people are upset. Yeah. Yeah. If you feel like you have to say something about it, something's happening. Barry: It was a game altering play too, man. Yep. That there's a problem. Yeah, there's a problem. Y'all are messing it up and getting it wrong. So people have the right to be upset. Now, is that gonna change anything? Yeah, but it ain't gonna change. True. Shaun: Yeah. I mean, that's part of being a fan though. I think that like if you're a fan of the sport and a fan of teams and things or clubs and things like that, like you're going to be upset at those types of calls. Like if you think about the amount of calls that happen over the course of a match and then thinking about it over the course of the entire tournament, like there are a lot of calls that are right. Jen: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Shaun: But when you do have those calls that are wrong and they are so blatant, like people are going to be up in arms about it. So I think that it's, one of those things like just as being an official or a ref or anything like that, like it's, it's never going to be, you can't win in that job, honestly. Yeah. But try to get the call right. Like if you're going to use technology, do your best to get the call right. Yeah. Jen: locked in. Barry: Yeah, for sure. No no, it's not gonna be perfect. No. Neither way. Jen: No, yeah, I 100 % feel, but exactly, yeah. Barry: I mean the fact that you have video exactly. Just do your best to get it right. And then like you can't sit here and tell us that what we don't see didn't happen. I guess that's the crazy thing in it all too. Like I get the subjectivity and missing calls like like we talked about it on on ⁓ episode two of Josh or three, whatever that was, but I mean it's it is gonna happen, but if we have the technology to make it not happen, then use the technology to make it not happen. Like it Jen: Yeah. Yes. Mm-hmm. Shaun: Hmm. Jen: But that's what I mean. and use it consistently. Yeah. Barry: and I I feel like the NBA refs do a pretty good job. Like they overturn calls that are ⁓ b mean, they get ⁓ they it better than this. They get it better than this, bruh, I'll give ⁓ credit for that. No. They get it better than this. No. Shaun: Yeah. I don't know about that. I don't know. Jen: Shaun's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's how bad it is, Shaun, with this Barry: No, they get a way better than this. Like I'll give them credit for that comparatively. NFL or ⁓ But I feel like NBA refs do decently. But nah, it was it was still a really good game. Like to have this kind of put a tarnish on it kind of sucks for real. Because it was a really good game. Shaun: That's fair. Jen: Mmm. Shaun: you Jen: Yeah. Yeah, I was. Shaun: Yeah. So in the semis, we've got England and Argentina. Jen: It's going to be a good one. Barry: Yep. It's I mean, that's like a historic classic, bro. That was ⁓ what's his name? The Hand of God goal. Shaun: What are you all thinking there? Jen: But I will say I said it like four episodes ago when we were talking about why I didn't like Argentina or why I liked Ronaldo better than Messi because I feel like Argentina and I said it then, roll it back. I said it then that they get extra help from the refs and you cannot see their last three games and not say that they've gotten help from the refs in their decisions. You just can't. Shaun: you Very care to comment on that. Barry: I mean I agree with the Egypt game. I don't know about the other ones, but I agree with the Egypt game. Jen: Hmm. Okay. Hmm. But also that's, they're getting help from the refs and they're still barely winning their games as reigning world champs. So they don't. Barry: They are. They yeah. They don't look as strong as they should. I give you that. I would agree. Shaun: All right, so who are y'all picking? England or Argentina? Jen: I want to go England. do think Argentina is going to win it because they're going to get some help. They're going to get some crazy calls and it's going to keep the controversy going because people are locked into it. But I'm going to say England. Shaun: Okay. So you know, Barry, who you got? You're sticking with Argentina. I figured as much. All right. Well, on the other side of the bracket, there is France and Spain. Espana. Jen: Come on Bellingham, let's go. Whatever. Barry: I'm gonna stick with Argentina. Yep. Jen: I think France. do think it's going to be a really good game though because Spain has been playing really well. Yeah, they've been playing really well, better than I anticipated. But I do still think France has just got a monster team and I think Mbappe is going to take them. Barry: ⁓ Spain has turned it on. Yeah, they have. Yeah. Shaun: Yeah. Barry: Dude. They're really good. That's why I picked them overall. 'Cause yeah, Mbappe and Dembélé and all all those dudes, bro, they're good. Shaun: Alright, so still taking France overall to win the World Cup. Okay, so who wins consolation? At that point it would basically be ⁓ England and Spain. Barry: Mm. Yep. I'd still give it to them. Jen: I still think so, Barry: England and Spain. Ooh, that would be I I would I would tip it to Spain just because they're the defending Euro champs. That would be the only reason I would tip to them. But I could see it going either way. I feel like England has definitely gotten better as the tournament's gone, especially the knockout stages. But I just yeah, I don't know. I don't know, but it wouldn't surprise me if England beats Argentina. Jen: That would be so cool, honestly. I wouldn't be mad at it. probably. Yeah, I agree. Shaun: Okay. Jen: Mm-hmm. Shaun: Yeah. Barry: 'Cause ⁓ like I said, Argentina's definitely not looked as strong as they should. What I would expect. Shaun: No. Jen: If the refs go into call affair game, I think England. But I'm just saying it now so we can roll the tape back later and be like, she said it. I'm just covering all my bases. Sure am. Shaun: you Barry: I'm gonna if I lose his cause is rigged, that's what Jen's saying. If I lose his cousin's rig, that's what Jen's saying, right? Shaun: winning the World Cup ⁓ and or y'all France winning the World Cup. ⁓ And ⁓ then all our package did. don't know about that. I'm just here so I get And then you've got you've got ⁓ you were taking ⁓ Spain, right? And the consolation, OK. Jen: He said, let me take my name out of this. No, we are a package deal, Shaun. Your opinion too. Barry: You said it last episode, Shaun. We win and lose as as a group, as a unit. Mm. Jen: That's right. Barry: I would say Spain. Yeah. But look where we are. There's a lot of red on this board, so don't take my word for it. Jen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Shaun: So France winning, Spain. That's what I'm saying. This is on y'all. I told you at the beginning, I don't know anything about soccer, so I'm trusting you. I'm glad that I didn't put any kind of money on this bracket at all because I wouldn't be pissed. Oh, man. Well, nice. So World Cup is in the works. We are down to the nitty gritty at this point. Just a few games left. Yeah. Jen: Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Barry: Please don't. I hope nobody did. Sorry, y'all. If you thought that you were gonna win with this, never do it ever again. Jen: If this is a testament to future things, we are never betting. Barry: It'll be over on Sunday is the final match. Sunday will be the final. Jen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Shaun: Some other really big sports happened over this weekend too. I don't know. Do y'all watch tennis at all? Any of the majors or anything like that? Yeah, I watched some of the majors. I watched some of Wimbledon. I like watching tennis at times like when they have like Roland Garros and Wimbledon and the US Open and Australian Open and all that kind of stuff. So it was fun. Women's doubles, men's doubles, and then the finals for singles too. Barry: Hm. I saw who won. Jen: I haven't. I do. Shaun: So those are really fun. There's a lot of really good talent in tennis right now. So that'll be exciting. Barry: say defending champ defended his crown. Shaun: Yeah, Sinner Yeah, he's a beast, man. So really good hands there. ⁓ I want to say, no, not France. I don't know. I think he's like France or somewhere in Europe. don't know. Jannik Sinner Maybe Sweden, Spain, Italy. Yeah, I don't know. But Hell of a player. ⁓ Barry: Center. What country is he from? Sweden. Hmm. Shaun: The men's doubles, that was really fun to watch too. Like it's always nice when you can see that they respect each other. And I don't think you get that in a lot of sports. It's like, you're almost like out there for blood, but in tennis it's like, okay, like we respect each other. We're going to go out here and we're going to play our hardest because we respect you. You want to make sure that we do the best. So that's why it's really cool to see. But also UFC. Barry: Mm, I appreciate that. Yeah. Jen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Barry: Yeah. For sure. Shaun: A lot of people really upset about Conor McGregor. Man. See, I am, but I didn't for this just because I knew, like, this is the first time that he was gonna be fighting in years. So there's no way he's gonna come out of retirement and just dust it off like nothing ever happened. Barry: Bro, I'm so glad I never pay money for them things. Jen: Exactly. I think that every time. Thank goodness I am not a betting kind of person. So how much did he? Mm-hmm. Barry: He dusted it off all right, bro Shaun: Yeah, so we'll see what happens. Apparently he is getting ready after the surgery. He's going to get prepared to fight the final fight of his contract. I don't know that they said it specifically what it was. Yeah, but he did already have the surgery. think he already had the surgery. But yeah, it was like what, 10 or 15 seconds or something like that. Yeah. Kick, kick, boom, he's out. Barry: What was the official did he blow his knee or what? Did they say like what the diagnosis was? It looked nasty. Hmm. Sixteen seconds in, bro. Jen: You Literally. Barry: Didn't even get two strokes in the game, bro. Jen: some of the most expensive 15 seconds some people ever had. Shaun: Nah. Right? Ridiculous. But I mean, that's what it is with combat sports. Like you never really know because something like that could happen. I mean, that's what sports in general, but especially combat sports like that. Yeah, health is always luck. So I don't know. We'll see. There's some really cool stuff going on right now ⁓ outside of the World Cup. We've got preseason that's happening too. Yeah. You are some of it. Barry: For real. Jen: Mm-hmm. Barry: Although I was gonna say that's luck, man. That's all sport for real. Yep. Jen: Yeah. Barry: Be soon enough. Yeah, I've been watching some of the preseason games. I'm actually kinda liking some of the young Celtics talent, bro. They look pretty good. Shaun: Okay. ⁓ my God, of course. Of course we went straight to the Celtics. Nah, I think the future of basketball looks really good too. Exactly. That's all I care about. Yeah, some really good games, some good youth. This was a heck of a draft class. So I think that that's going to really show up in this season. Hopefully they get the playing time in the regular season too. Jen: You said I got one team and one team I care about. Barry: No, some good games. Yeah, hopefully. I mean, I feel like a lot of teams need some young energy, man, so Shaun: Yeah, a lot of them do. I mean, the Lakers are still showing out. They're going out there like pulling anybody that they can for their team. They sign. I see a new signing for the Lakers like every day, it seems like. So who knows? Yeah. Still waiting for the GOAT to make his decision. He's still trying to decide what he's going to do, where he's going to go. Which hopefully is Miami. I'm not going to be upset if he comes back to Miami. I think it'd be great. Jen: Hmm. Barry: Just quantity, huh? Get as much as they can. Now I'm gonna start sending you all the things that I see now, Shaun, that I know you got it. Shaun: I know, I I wasn't gonna get hooked. But he keeps delaying it, I feel like if he knew where he wanted to go, it is. I get it now. I get it. Like in the beginning, I didn't get it. Barry: This is why it gets annoying, bro. This is why it gets annoying. I mean, but you say that now if he chooses Miami, you can be like, What are you talking about? ⁓ what annoying. I'm so happy. What did we what did we it was great. He had to take the time to thoroughly make a great decision. Yeah, I get it. No, it's all good. It's a lot. It is a lot. I I stopped looking at my phone for any announcements now. Shaun: Yeah, it's fine. He had to take the time to make the right decision. Yes, exactly. So I don't know. We'll see where he decides that he wants to go. Like every time I hear the ESPN app go off, like, ⁓ is that it? Is that it? No, it's never it. Barry: I'm over it, bro. Mm mm. I figure you or somebody will text me when it happens. So I'm gonna be like, Yeah, there'll be somebody that'll let me know. Shaun: ⁓ for sure. Yeah. When I see it, there'll be there'll be signs whenever I see it for sure. Barry: Jeez. Yeah. He'll either be ecstatic or d really depressed. Yep. Shaun: I really said like, man, I'm going to have to call into work. I'm just going to go and day drink for the whole day because he went somewhere else. Drama stars and the bottle of scotch. ⁓ man. So cool. We'll keep an eye out on that. ⁓ Lastly, or I guess not technically lastly, but. Barry: Drown my sorrows. ⁓ gosh. Shaun: Love at first sight. ⁓ my God. Love Island. I am already looking at something. Yeah. Love Island. I'm like mixing two different things together. No, married at first sight is what I was thinking. Yeah. But Love Island. What is new there? Or y'all gave me homework. Is it? No, no, I'm not caught up. That's, that's for sure. So y'all. Like listening. Barry: You already looking on Shaun's excited about the next one. He's looking at the next show. He's over Love Island. Jen: I know, right? You trying to watch Love is Blind? Married at first sight. Barry: Speak in us. It's over, bro. It's over. Finale happened yesterday. Super lackluster. I was really let down. Jen: Yeah, it's over. You're not caught up. The finale was yesterday. It was. Shaun: ⁓ no no, who won? Jen: Who do you think won? No, no, no. Who do you think won? Yeah. Based on where you're at right now. Barry: Spoiler alert. No. Shaun: Who do I think won? ⁓ Well, I don't even know because all I did, I watched the dinner party episodes, but that was it. I hadn't watched anything else after that. ⁓ So maybe, okay, tell me who was left. Tell me who was left and then I'll tell you after that. Yeah. Jen: Okay. Barry: Tell him the final forge, and I'll give him give him that at least. Jen: four was Aniya and Carl, Trinity and Bryce, ⁓ Melanie Sincere, ⁓ Barry: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Shaun: Okay. Barry: surprisingly why America chose them, I don't know. 'Cause America likes d yes. They like the sloppy drama, bro. Shaun: Yeah, I was like, how? Jen: Never mind, I was going to say it. Never mind. And last was Kayda and Zach. Shaun: Okay, that's fair. Barry: Zach were in it. Before we do that, the family episode was wild. I at least like Sincere, was that his dad, that dude? He at least like was upset with him, bro. Like or no. What are your opinions, Jen? Shaun: ⁓ I watched the VMA episode. Jen: That was his dad and I have Okay, and you guys know my opinion on Sincere. He was very shady, very ugly, very bleh, but also he is a young kid. Like he's a young adult, right? Going on a TV show where you're meant to explore. And yes, I do think he should have done it more respectfully. He should have done it whatever, but the way his dad went in on him, I wanted to hug him. Like as a parent, Shaun: Really? Barry: Bro, his dad went in on him. Yeah. His dad didn't Bro, talk about accountability. Bro, what? He needed to hear that. No, his dad did the right thing, bro. Yes he did. Jen: I was so sad because like on family night, you're going to talk to him like that in front of these people that they're just now meeting. No, no, he did not. He could have been like, I'm, I love you. I'm so happy to see you. Also, I'm kind of disappointed in the way that you're. He did too much. He did too much. Barry, we cannot always be on the opposite ends. This is what's going to make this show good. If anything, it's me and Barry fighting all the time. Barry: Bro. His dad was like, yo, I didn't teach you to move like that. I don't want I don't want to need you out here acting like this. No, he did not. He did what a dad for a young man should. No, bro. No. No, bro. He did exactly what he should have done. Shaun: Mm-hmm. ⁓ my gosh. Jen: again, Shaun, you're going to to be the tiebreaker because this guy did too much. He could have started high. I'm so excited. No, yes, he did. ⁓ No, he didn't. Barry: No bro. I don't he didn't yell at him or anything. He literally just told him what's up. Yo, he wasn't even gonna come, but he had to come tell his son how much of a non good decision he was making. Nah, bro. I salute that man over and over. Shout out to Sincere's dad. No. Jen: Yeah. So you're on, as you know, this is being broadcast to America. Like this is no, he should have said, hi, I've missed you. I love you. I'm still proud of you. But no matter what, I was really disappointed in your behavior. You weren't raised to move that way. So let's really work on. That is not how he said it. He didn't say I missed you. I'm so happy to be here. He didn't say I'm proud of you. He didn't say I love you. He went on. Barry: No bro. No. Yep. Those were words that he said. So you agree. You agree. Jin, if your son was in there moving like that, would you go and tell him that? I would not. No bro. We'd be having some words. No, bro. Nah. Nah. No, man. He did not curse and yell at him. Jin, you be exaggerated, bro. Jen: He hit and I sure I sure would say I love you. I've missed you. Let's talk about this disappointing behavior and how you can change it. But no, this guy was cursing at him, yelling at him in front of these. Shaun, go back and watch this. We're Shaun: Oh god. Y'all are gonna make me watch this crap again? My goodness. Barry: watch the family episode. Just watch the Sincere and Melanie. No, he did not. Yo, Melanie's sister went in at him too. ⁓ Salute her too. ⁓ What you talking about? Why wouldn't you expect that from her dad? Shaun: Just watch the episode. Jen: He made it awkward and it was too hard. Yeah, but you expect that from her. No, you expect that from her because she has no ties to sincere. I would not expect that from his. No, Ew, Barry, cut it out. I hate that. We're about to have issues. I hate when parents sit there and say, Barry: His son is a reflection of him as a man, Jen, so he wants his Shaun: you Jen: your behavior reflects on me so you need to be XYZ and get your together like no they are their own person yes you teach them Barry: Bro, we literally sat here and talked about how it was disgusting how dishonest and how he was moving so disrespectfully and his dad needed to tell him that. So what are we talking about? Bruh, bruh. Nah, bro. Jen: Yes, a hundred percent. But his, his dad does not need to worry about that reflecting bad on him. He needs to say, Hey, how can I help you become a better person? It has nothing to do with me or what people think of me. It needs to be what people think of you and how can you be a better person? Has nothing. When people want to be like, ⁓ well, I need to adjust my child's behavior because it looks bad on me. No, you need to go sit your vein ass down. Like, no, that has nothing to do with you. Barry: ⁓ I don't think he was like that. I'm just saying, bro. That's how hit like nah. No. Jen: I've, I've, that's the vibe I got and I didn't like it. Made me feel bad for a guy that I have not liked this entire season. No, he definitely moves sneaky, but you've been the whole time you've been sitting here preaching, ⁓ it's love Island. They're meant to explore. They're meant to go do that. You meant to do that. Barry: No. That dude got what he deserved, bro. He needed to hear them words. They are, but I still have also said you can be respectful and honest of these people too. And he was not. He was pla yo, we literally sat here and talked about how he was using these same pickup lines and the same pet names, Jen. If somebody talked to your daughter like that, you wouldn't want somebody to go in at them. You wouldn't want their parent to be accountable and tell them that they were doing the wrong thing. Okay, so what what are we talking about? No, bro. Jen: very. I'm gonna need you to not be quiet now. I'm gonna need you to Shaun: don't wanna watch more episodes. Jen: No, 100%. I would want their parents to be but in a much, ⁓ much better way. Shaun: Okay, hold on. think that I can resolve this. I think I can resolve this. You both agree that he needed to be checked. What you don't agree on is the approach that the dad took. Barry thinks that it was a fair approach. Jen, you think that it was a bit harsh and he could have been more gentle in the approach. Barry: No, well Shaun, you ain't gonna resolve it. Jen: Yeah, 100%. Barry: Hundred percent. Jen: 100%. Barry: I do. Jen: It was harsh. Yes, 100%. He could have said anything kind to him. No, he did not. Barry: I feel he was respectful of the kid and he told him at the end that he loved him. He just said, You need yes he did. Yes he did. They hugged and everything. Shaun: That's right. Love is overrated anyway. I mean, can we be honest with that? Jen: You better cut it out. especially because now fast forward to the finale episode, they got clips of recordings from some of their family that didn't get to come. And one was from his mom. And tell me why that. Her first words out of her mouth were, I love you. I miss you. I'm proud of you, no matter what you went through. But you don't think you can find a balance there? Like, you don't think you can find a balance within that? Barry: N see that's the difference between a a mom and a dad. That is the difference. Shaun: That's fair. Barry: He probably gets all the love from his mom and so his dad has to be the person. But that's I'm not saying that it's okay, but if that's the dynamic in that family, then that's what he needed in that moment because he was moving and well he should have. Again, he felt bad. He should. Shaun: I think that is the balance. Jen: But that is not okay. That cannot be a thing. You have to get love from both. But that's also why he started bawling. Because you know he's felt awful about it. Yes. And again, I think he should feel bad. I 100 % agree. I really do think… No. Barry: person. He gets ⁓ the things that make him that. Jen: ⁓ Barry. Shaun: Not going to change either one of your minds, so I guess it doesn't really matter. You both agree. You both agree. You both agree that Sincere was a bad person during the show. You both agree. Well, the way that he moved was, yeah, it was very disrespectful in the way that he did it. He even said that. Yeah, he even said it a few times himself, that he was being disrespectful in the way that he did it. Barry: Y'all crazy No No Nope. That man got what he needed to hear, bro. Jen: No. No. Yes. Yes. He wasn't a bad person. just, yes. Yes. He made really, really poor decisions as a young adult might. Yes. Yeah. Barry: I I don't even say he was a bad person. He just moved horribly. Yes. Shaun: They were half ass apologies. He wasn't actually apologizing during those times. So that makes it even more disrespectful, in my opinion. That makes it even more disrespectful. So dad came in during family day. He set him straight. Barry agrees with the approach. Jen doesn't agree with the approach, but they both agree that he got the message that he needed to get, just not in the way that he got it. So there you go. Jen: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Barry: Hundred po cent. Dad laid into him, bo. I do. Jen: Mm-mm-mm. I mean, I really do think, no he didn't. I really do think that this is a big moment for him because I feel like, you know, as you get older, at least in my humble opinion, you go through like these really big moments in your life where you're like, okay, wow, like, no, I really need to take a step back. And I really do feel like this has been one for him where he really truly will grow from this. I hope so. I really do. Barry: Mm. No, he got it in the way he needed it, bro. Yeah. Shaun: Mm-hmm. Barry: ⁓ yeah. I hope so. I hope so. I really do for him for his sake. Jen: get the vibe. Obviously we're not there. I don't know him personally, but from what I'm seeing, I really do think he like sat there and was like, wow, I really did F up. Like I really do think this is going to have an impact on him. Yeah. Barry: As he should. That dad held that mirror right in his face, bro. Dad said, Hey bro, check yourself. Shaun: Yeah. Jen: Dad said, baaah, with a mirror. Like, he did. Yes, he did. Yes, he did. Barry: No he didn't. No, he did not. No. Shaun: Oh man. All right. Well, who ended up winning then? Who? I don't want to guess. Who was the second one? It was, so you said, Kada and Zack. Barry: Okay. ⁓ we're gonna Shaun's not gonna go. ⁓ yeah, you did not guess. We at least need a guess. Jen: No, you have to guess. He said, I don't want to. Melanie, Sincere, Carl, Trinity and Bryce. Barry: ⁓ and Bryce and Trinity. Shaun: I think Trinity and Bryce won. Okay, yeah. I just need to hear the names again, but I think that they won, because they were together for basically the entire time, weren't they? Yeah. Yeah. Jen: Yeah, they did. They did. Barry: They do. Jen: The whole time. They were. They were. Which doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be the winners. I think some people go in there and think, let me just link up with this one person and stay with them the whole time and we'll win. And that does not always work. ⁓ No. And people can tell. Like you can tell. So, but they did. They did win. Barry: entirety of it, yeah. They were the No, not necessarily. Shaun: Yeah. Barry: And stay with them. Shaun: Yeah. Barry: No. Last season. No. Shaun: Because then you're not really playing the game. Like the whole game is exploring and finding out and stuff, Barry: Mm-hmm. But yeah. Okay, so why did they take away the twist of whether they choose they're gonna split the money or not? Because I was waiting, I was like, ⁓ this is where I wanted to see. I knew who was gonna win. I wanna see who's gonna choose. Jen: I know. Shaun, normally, so they win $100,000 ⁓ in of the seasons, UK here. ⁓ You, at the end, the couple ⁓ is awarded $100,000. But the is they ask, are you here for love or are you here for money? And they have them split. They have them pick a card. They have them pick a card. ⁓ They can't see. So you one and then both of them open at the same time. One of them says money. Shaun: Where they do what? Barry: In past seasons. Shaun: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Barry: Shaun's whole point of the show. Shaun: Mm-hmm. Jen: One of them says zero dollars and they get to pick two. You want to keep the entire hundred grand yourself or do you want to split it with the person you're there with? And this is the first season they didn't do that. Yeah, I have no clue. They must have just decided to change the rules and make it because maybe I don't know if USA has ever had somebody who just took the money all. I think they always split it. So maybe they were just like, all right, like let's just split it. Shaun: Mmm... Really? That's stupid. Barry: Mm-hmm. They didn't show it. They they'd be just changing that crap all the time, bro. Ruthless, well. People be hating on him. Shaun: Yeah. Hmm. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe there has been like blowback from it or people getting like threats or like hate mail or something like that if they chose the money instead of love, maybe. Jen: There have been people on UK that took money. I don't know. Barry: thing that they were saying, Jen? They were saying that ⁓ Melanie and Aniya were making out in the pool? Jen: Yeah, I don't know. What? No. I mean, Melanie's made out with a couple of people, a couple of the girls this season. She made out with Trinity in the bed, the giant bed masks episode. She made it. She, don't know if she really made out with, but she definitely kissed Kada in another one. Barry: Y'all didn't see that? I've seen like two or three videos of it. Shaun: definitely didn't see it. Barry: ⁓ well then maybe this isn't as big of a shock, but yeah. ⁓ she did. I don't remember. I I don't I don't store this stuff in my long term memory. It goes out my brain as soon as we talk about it. No, I'm so glad it's over. Do you see how unemotionally invested I am in this? It was the biggest like just like wow, that was disappointing. Shaun: Hmm. Whatever dude, you became obsessed with it. You became so obsessed with Love at First Sight. No. You were locked in. Jen: It's his favorite show. Locked in for season nine. Mm-mm. Barry: No. I came ready for the show, that's all. I will. I don't d well, I'm not a trash T V person, so that is the definition of trash T V. Shaun: You can deny anything you want, bro, but you were locked into it. It's all good. Jen: I will say this season was, I do feel a little disappointed by it. Like it wasn't, I can't put my finger on what it was, but it did feel very like lackluster and just kind of like, ⁓ Barry: No, it was whack. I watched the final episode in ten minutes. Jen: Yeah. Shaun: I mean, all they were doing was sticking their tongues down each other's throats. mean, I feel like that was... Barry: No, that that's way gone. That's this is now literally it's just like watching couples just talk. That's all it is. It's not even Yeah, a whack ass date. Jen: Yeah. Shaun: I like those. Jen: Yeah, and go on a date. They each go on like a cool date. Barry: If you want to call ⁓ cool, sure. Jen: They are really awkward though. I feel like they're all always awkward. And you can tell where they stopped talking and they had to clip and like cut because they stopped talking. Yeah. Barry: They're super awkward. Yeah. Shaun: Ha Barry: ⁓ yeah. 'Cause then yeah yeah. Shaun: Well, they don't really know each other. So like, what do they have to really date about? or like, what do they have to... Barry: So okay, so Shaun, they say it at the Jen: They all say the same thing. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Shaun: Hmm. Barry: So I'm always curious 'cause it seems weird. Like I don't understand the episodes like what's the span of time on those? Shaun: Hmm. Jen: Yeah, it's like the whole summer. Barry: No, I'm saying like there's thirty five episodes, bro. So what is each episode? How much do they record? Shaun: I mean, it's over the span of six weeks. I mean, you would think that it's a couple of days. Yeah. Jen: ⁓ Some of the episodes are two days. Some of them are only one. It just kind of depends. Barry: See that's what I'm saying. I don't i i i I get lost in all that. I don't keep track. But no. I mean I feel like people could fall in love in six weeks. Jen: Yeah. Yeah. Shaun: Hmm. I mean, feel like you can fall in love in two seconds, but is it actually love? I think you can. So you don't believe in love at first sight then. Barry: Mm, nah. Not in two seconds, I wouldn't think. Yes. No, I'm not. I don't. I I you're attracted to somebody. Yes. Yes. Yes. I believe in connection. Mm-hmm. Vibes for sure. No, you gotta grow to some love somebody, bro. Like you gotta go through some things, man. You gotta go through things to love somebody. I in my opinion. Jen: You call it infatuation. I don't know if it's actual love. I don't either. I think I believe in infatuation. Yeah. I believe in connection and energy and infatuation and we vibe hard. Love is a very different thing. Shaun: Really? Okay, okay, explain to me how love is different than that. Jen: Yes. Because yes, no, ⁓ this is maybe this is our moment, Barry. This is where we agree. This is it. This is it. Shaun: Do you though? Barry: I feel. Shaun's Shaun: Y'all are gonna agree and I don't agree now. Jen: We found it. No, I, no, I a hundred percent agree. I think love is different because you can, again, feel all the feelings. You can be really, you can really care for somebody, but until you have said, I'm going to stick by this person, even when this ugly thing happens, when this hard time happens, when this struggle is just intense and we really don't like each other maybe in this moment, I'm like, love is a, it's just a different level. Barry: Still my person, yeah. Jen: It's a different thing. like even when Kenny and I were first together, we didn't say I love you for really long time because it's just like a very intense, in my opinion, I think it's a very intense thing. don't really believe in love at first sight because you just love is different than that. Shaun: Mm-hmm. Yeah. So y'all are saying that love is dependent upon like difficult situations or... Barry: Okay, I'll say this. To another person that is not your blood, like for your child, I could see love in first. Like I probably fell in love with my daughters at first sight. But that's a different love to me. Like if you're saying the love of a romantic person that I'm gonna spend a lot of time with, it takes time to develop that in my opinion. Jen: I think it's just a commitment to saying that I'm going to back you. ⁓ very true. Mm-hmm. Romantic love. Shaun: ⁓ yeah, that's different. Yeah. Jen: Mm-hmm. 100%. Shaun: So if you, okay, so if you find this person and everything is great, you all get along, you have so much in common, you meet each other's families, everything is great, you move in together, like everything works out, you go through all of your finances, that part is good, like everything all works out. Can those people not be in love because they haven't like gone through a test yet? Jen: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Barry: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean you're gonna go through life events that make all those things happen. It didn't have to be bad, I don't think you I mean I say go through things, you just gotta go through life together like and decide things together. Like we're gonna buy a home together, we're gonna move here together, we're gonna like when you build your life with somebody, I think that's when like love can definitely become like a real thing and an emotion that you feel for that person. But I I don't know. I feel like that takes those life events to happen together. Jen: I know. I think it's... Shaun: Okay. Jen: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's. Yeah, I think it takes time to really. Barry: bro. I'm not the same person that I was when I met Becca at nineteen years old. Are you kidding? Like, we grow, we change. Like in like Jen said, if you're committed to that person, like, I don't know. I feel like I love unconditionally for most people, bro. Even if you do me wrong, I'll give you another chance. Eventually. I'll forgive you. But forgiveness is for me. It ain't for you. It's for me to move on from what you did to me. I'm still gonna think about what you did, but I don't f Jen: 100 % for sure. Shaun: Yeah, people change. Everyone changes and evolves. Yeah. Jen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Barry: I don't feel like people are like people get labeled as a liar. Like people lie in situations. I think that. I think life is situational. Like just 'cause I do something in one situation doesn't mean I'm gonna do the same thing in a completely different situation. And that's the same thing with like when you connect with somebody. Like I've gotta you know, I've gotta know that you are gonna have my back or I gotta feel that and I gotta believe it and I mean, I don't know. It just a lot goes into it in my opinion. Jen: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Shaun: ⁓ yeah. Jen: I just Shaun: So can you not feel those things after a deep conversation? Let's say that we just met and we're going through it, we have a really deep conversation and both of you feel this connection. Barry: ⁓ Jen: I don't think you feel clear. Barry: That builds. It's like a bank account, bro. I feel like it's like a bank account. Yes, for sure. Like I mean, and I think that's at a different level for different people for sure. I make some people might fall in love sooner and on not as many things and but maybe that's just who they are as a person. That's just how they like they just let go. Like I feel like I try and do that in a lot of things that I do just to fully immerse myself so I can s true I mean Jen: Yeah. Shaun: It's like an emotional bank account, yeah. So it's like an emotional bank account that you're making deposits into. Jen: Quite literally. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Barry: Kinda like Love Island, like you gotta explore, bro. Like you gotta explore, you gotta like let your walls down and I say that. Nah, I mean, no, that's not real life though to me. That's why it's just trash TV. 'Cause it's six weeks, a lot. I mean, and that's all you're doing for six weeks. It's not like I'm out here like legit worried about bills and like trying to get to and from things in my life and like history though kids in the like all that adds to it. But I dunno, it's just like a bank account, man. Jen: You got it, you got Shaun: That's why you became so infatuated with it. Jen: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shaun: Yeah. Jen: Yeah. Shaun: Well, that's why I think that like shows like Love Island, that's why I think that it's not... I guess this isn't fair to say, but I feel like it's not legitimate. Like you can't legitimately fall in love with someone in those types of circumstances because you're not actually dealing with real life. Yeah. Jen: Mm-hmm. parameters. Barry: You can connect with somebody and potentially fall in love with them, but I don't think at that point you're you've gone through enough real life scenarios to s to to say that it's love. And but again, that's just my opinion, bro. That's just how I see the world. I I I c that's just the way I move through it. So everybody's gonna move through it in their own way. And if these people fall fall in love and it's what it is and shit, they stay married fifty years, good for them. I hope I hope that's what happens because I don't I wouldn't wish Jen: Mm-hmm. Shaun: Yeah. Jen: Mm-hmm. Shaun: That's just an opinion. Yeah. Jen: Yeah. Yeah. Shaun: Yeah. Barry: Like, you know, those disappointments or heartbreak on anybody. But like you said, let's be real. What's really probably gonna come out of it, you know? I don't know. But no, I'm not a I'm not a big believer of love and first sight for romantic relationships, infatuation, attraction, connection. Jen: Mm-hmm. Shaun: Yeah. That's ⁓ Jen: me either. Shaun: See, I think that it can happen. I think the possibility of it is very, very limited, but I think that it can happen. I think that you can find this person and immediately you have this connection with them. Maybe you don't know that it's love until further down the line, but I think that you can fall in love with them at that moment, and then it just grows even stronger from there. Jen: one in a million. Barry: Maybe. I hope that works for some people, man. Shaun: Right? Barry: I do, I do. Jen: It would make so many things a easier. Shaun: Yeah. Barry: ⁓ it's all communication, man. As hard as we make things in relationships, it really just comes down to communication. Again. Shaun: That's fair. Jen: Yeah. Where should I? Shaun: Do relationships are just, I mean, they're all so very different, but yeah, it's always gonna be difficult. It's work. Like you all are saying, like in order for a relationship to last, you both have to be willing to put in work. It doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter what your relationship is, you have to be willing to put in that work for it to work out. Yeah. Balance, communication, trust. Jen: hard. Yeah. Barry: Mm, very much. Jen: Yeah. Barry: Nope. Jen: Mm-hmm. Barry: And you gotta balance each other. It's all balanced, man. You gotta have somebody who cares too much and somebody who doesn't care at all so that it all balances out. You have two people that two care too much, bro. There's gonna be an anxiety written relationship if two people care too much. Jen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Shaun: Yeah, I don't think that you can have someone that doesn't care at all. Yeah, but I don't think that you can have someone that doesn't care at all. That will eventually catch up. Yeah. Jen: Yeah, no. It has to be two people. no, because exactly. It's not that you don't care. It's that you can let go of certain things easier, but that's more personality than you not caring. You care just as much about Becca than she cares about you. The care and the love is the same. Just your personality, how you handle situations and how you communicate is different. Barry: Mm. It's worked out for me pretty well, bro. Shaun: Because you say that you don't care what you actually do. You're full of crap. Barry: ⁓ I let ⁓ it most stuff rolls off my back, bro. Yeah, no, I do care. Shaun: Yeah. Barry: ⁓ for sure. Yeah. Shaun: Yeah. Barry: Different. Yeah. Jen: But again, I think that's where it's nice to balance each other out because she makes you talk more about things and you make her kind of calm down from it, you know what I mean? And not overanalyze. But I think that's different than somebody that just doesn't care because somebody who doesn't care is very obvious and that is not a relationship that's gonna last. Shaun, he is single. Barry: Facts. Yeah. Shaun: Yeah. Barry: No, she tries. She tries. No, for sure. You ain't wrong. For sure. Shaun: you Yeah. Barry: No, I don't know Shaun: That is me. And that is why I am single. Because I really don't care. Like I will love you. I will support you. I will do everything I can to make sure that your life is as fruitful and as beautiful as you want it to be. But when it comes down to just like individual to me nonsensical decisions, I don't care. I could not possibly care any less. Jen: I don't care. Barry: Yeah. Jen: I feel like for the right person you'd care. Shaun: Maybe. Barry: Care enough. Jen: I think for the right person you'd care. Yeah. Shaun: At this point, I haven't found the right person, so I don't think that that right person is entirely... No, they're not. Nope, they're not. I'm cool with it. Barry: Well, there you go. Jen: And that's, yeah, and they are, they are. Yeah, they are. Barry: Never know, bro. Never know. They might come into your life when you least expect Jen: They are. Exactly. Shaun: Nah. Nope. I will shut it down real quick. But anyway, so yeah, now that Love Island is over, we'll have to find another one that we can keep up with, make sure that we stay on top of some good debates for y'all to see what other shows. Yeah, because it's so fun seeing the two of you argue. Well, let's see if I can break that up a little bit. Jen: No you won't. Yeah, for us to start arguing some more about. We've had way too much agreement in this last little segment. I don't know what's happening here. ⁓ goodness. Barry: And real copacetic. ⁓ Shaun: I've got a story for you. I've got an am I the asshole story for you. So I want to know what you think about it. I understand that. I don't debate that at all. I'm OK with it. All right. So am I the asshole for inviting my 29 or my girlfriend on an expensive vacation and expecting her to pay all of her share in? Jen: Okay. Barry: Shaun, yes, you are the ass. No, I'm joker. Jen: I was about to say the same thing. Like, yes, Shaun. in. Barry: Dmm Jen: No. Shaun: In parentheses, I make a lot more than her. So hello. My girlfriend, myself, my parents and my brother and his wife all went on vacation to another country a week ago. My brother and I were the ones who did most of the planning of the itinerary, although we did ask everyone else for input. For background, I make around one hundred and fifty thousand dollars as an I.T. My girlfriend is a teacher making around forty five thousand dollars. Jen: Oof. Barry: Okay. Jen: Mm. Barry: Well, I already lose respect for this man. Shaun: My parents are pretty affluent as well as my brother and sister-in-law. My girlfriend knew this trip was coming up and took on a second job waitressing on the weekends for several months to get ready for it. We have always split things 50-50 in the last two years we have been together. There were a few times on their vacation, on the vacation, Jen: Yeah. Break up with him. Cool. Barry: They're together for two years? Shaun: when she did not go on outings with us, example, wine tasting, scuba diving, et cetera. She also would only eat two meals a day, simply stating that she was on a budget. My family does favor more high-end, expensive places. My parents thought it was very strange she only eats two meals a day, although she normally eats three. Jen: Yeah. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Shaun: When we got home, I asked her why she skipped out on several of the outings and only ate two meals a day. I mentioned how I heard her stomach growling one night and she said, I mentioned how I heard her stomach growling one night and said I was concerned about her having an eating disorder. She got teary eyed and said, she got teary eyed and said that three meals a day wasn't fiscally feasible for her and neither were the outings that she chose not to go to. Barry: Yo Jen: ⁓ my God, how out of touch is this person? Shaun: in parentheses, she went to three of the six outings. She said she was not expecting everything to cost so much and that she was overwhelmed. She also said she didn't know if this was going to work long term if she was expected to go on vacations like that with people who make so much more money than her. feel, I feel, ⁓ wait, I feel bad that I did not pick up on her discomfort sooner, but I did agree. Barry: Good for her. Good for her, bro. Set your boundaries, girl. Jen: Yes, yeah. You should. Shaun: to split everything 50-50 and don't know why she agreed to come if cost was an issue. Am I the asshole? Barry: Yes. A hundred percent. No. Jen: You are the asshole. You have been with this person for two years. You have a very clear understanding of how much money she makes, what she can fiscally do, and you expected her to keep up with the people that you know want high-end things. Yes. Like you chose to do that. And you chose to sit there and listen to her stomach growling and not say, don't worry, babe. I got you on your dinner meal. Like what? I am all for it. Like ask Kenny. Shaun: two years. Barry: Two years and y'all chose this effluent and expensive yeah. Nah bro, you're the asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Well Jen: Even when we first got together, I was very, it's 50-50. Like you pay, I pay, we whatever. Like I am very much. Barry: Bro, I'm not I don't know, bro. I'm I'm so different when it comes to money and that in relationships. Bro, we both came into this with nothing in our bags. So let's fill our bags up together, like Jen: Yeah, true. Shaun: But in this situation, there's one, he makes three times as much money as she, a little bit over three times as much money as she makes. Barry: Easily probably. I was gonna say. Jen: And if you're going to expect that type of life and expect that, you need to put that money in. If you want me to be there, you need to do that. For you to expect me to keep up with your pattern and your way of life and visibly see me choosing to have a worse vacation and not be included in things and not eat and for you to do nothing about it. Barry: Bruh, yeah. Dude's the asshole and then some Yeah. Yeah, bro. She's been around long enough, yeah, to earn that. I would yeah, that's crazy. Yo, that's crazy. Yo, that's so crazy. Jen: Please leave this person, whoever you are. They are not the one. Barry: Yeah. She needs to go ahead and put ⁓ put ⁓ them two weeks. Give ⁓ that notice. Shaun: Okay, hold on. But where does that line stop? Like if you agreed while you're at home that you're gonna split everything 50-50, so I'm assuming 50-50 for everything means rent or mortgage, ⁓ your electricity, all of your utilities, food, groceries, all of that good stuff, and then you pay for yourself on 50-50. When you go on vacation, does that 50-50 all of a sudden disappear? Jen: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I feel like that's a different conversation. Barry: To me that's bro, that's insane exp if No, here's the thing. Here's my thing. Fifty fifty makes sense if y'all make the same amount of money, bro. But if I make fifty thousand and you make three times me, I'm sorry. Your percentage should be larger. I d that's how I would approach it. I I guess maybe she should have never agreed to fifty fifty as a teacher, but I don't know. But as a dude, bro, I would I don't I'm always down to pay for my Jen: No. Yeah, I agree. Shaun: ⁓ Jen: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Barry: friends, my family as much as I can. So I just can't get behind that mindset, I guess. And especially if they're the ones that planned an extravagant and expensive like trip, bro, and you got the money, why wouldn't you want your girl to go and not have to stress? Jen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I agree. think... Yeah. And yes, you might have told her about these items or whatever, but she went in knowing she wasn't going to be able to do all of them clearly. She went in knowing she was only going to be able to eat two meals every day. So she was trying to balance what she could to keep up with your high end lifestyle or whatever you want to do. No. So she did know. Barry: I don't know, that's crazy. That's crazy, bro. She probably didn't even need to go on them three damn outings. She probably just stretched herself thin. Obviously, if she can't afford three meals a day, s so she could go on them outings, she definitely shouldn't have been going on them outings. But she tried to appease you and your rich ass family. Well, y'all just sitting here having a good time. Jen: Yeah. to yes, exactly. And that's wild. Shaun: So at what point does personal responsibility kick in? Barry: I don't think it's personal responsibility, bro. If she wants to be a teacher and you're okay with that, then you should support Jen: I don't think it's personal. Shaun: No, no, no, no. OK, so I don't want to say that. I don't want to say that part because absolutely. But no, I'm saying I'm paying personal responsibility in the sense of like, OK, if you know that this is going to be something that you have to pick up a second job for and that you need to plan so far ahead, at what point do you just tell him like, hey, I'm not going to be able to go. I can't afford this trip that you all are going on, but I'll go the next time around. Barry: ⁓ you're saying her as a chick? What do you mean by personal accountability? I'm saying her as a person needs to set up Well I wonder if that happened and he guilted her into going. We don't know that. I would assume that he probably did by the way this dude is moving. Shaun: At what point does that kick in? I mean, that wasn't part of the story, so we don't know that. Jen: ⁓ I think ⁓ I can see what you though, Shaun. Like at what is it responsibility on her to say like, I can't. ⁓ But I think that's such a difficult thing to say. Hey, you're being invited this family vacation. I've been with this person for two years. So obviously I want to go. I've built relationship with this person. ⁓ I'm Shaun: ⁓ I feel like that's big assumption though. Barry: It is. Shaun: Yeah. Yeah. Jen: probably in love with this person, like I obviously want to foster this relationship, so I'm going to push myself a little further than maybe I would if my friends asked me to go on an expensive ⁓ I'm gonna try to find a nice middle ground that I can. I'm gonna pick up some extra shifts, try and make a little more ⁓ and make it work. I just won't do everything. But that's where I ⁓ some type of chivalry in this ⁓ should be like, hey, I see you working really hard. I love... especially making and being comfortable, I'd love to pay for this excursion for you or I'd love to just cover your dinners for you. Like that is, yeah. Yeah. Barry: Yo, she's a teacher, bro. She's working hard. That's crazy. I just I guess I just don't yeah, I don't my mindset ain't like that, bro. Shaun: Okay, but at that point, does she now have a sense of obligation to him because now she's got to pay him back for going on the... Okay, why not? Okay, so I... So I agree. Jen: No, not at all. He should do that. If it was the other way around, I'd say that for her too. If he was doing that to go on a vacation with her, she should cover him too. Barry: I don't I wouldn't Bro, I would be a stay-at-home dad. If Becca wanted to go make a quarter million dollars a year, I'd be a stay-at-home dad in a heartbeat, bro. And I would expect the same life as I have now. Shaun: Well, here's the thing, like, I agree that she shouldn't feel that way. But if you if you've gone through this relationship for two years and you're splitting everything 50-50 and like, OK, this is my responsibility, this is your responsibility. It almost seems like it would definitely happen. But if you go on this trip and he pays for your dinners and he pays for your excursions, that you're going to feel this sense of responsibility now, like, OK, now now I need to pay him back for those. Jen: that he'd come back with a receipt. I think that's an unhealthy relationship at that point. Yes. Because I think in life, I mean, again, that's whole different kind of conversation. Like that's a whole different cup of tea. If you're talking about how are we paying bills, how are we splitting whatever, because all marriages are different. I know people, I have friends that everything is completely separate. Their bank accounts are separate. like everything is separate and they pay bills separately as well, like insurance and everything. Barry: I would agree with that. Yeah. Shaun: Really? Okay. Jen: Or I mean, Kenny and I, it's very much everything's together and we're in this together and we pay with our combined accounts for our bills. that's all set up to be together. So I can't speak to that kind of experience of paying everything separately and having everything separated. And how much do I make? How much do you make? What do you cover? What do I cover? I can't really speak to that because that's just not my experience. I do think it's kind of wild to me. Barry: Yeah, so Jen: But I do agree with Barry's statement of if I'm making 50K and you're making 150K three times the amount I'm making, it should not be 50-50. No, because you're going to want more expensive things that I cannot 50-50 cover. So if you want that lifestyle, you can pay that. That's fine. But you're going to pay a higher percentage than I am. Shaun: ⁓ Barry: shouldn't be fifty fifty. Shaun: So I agree. Barry: Exactly. Yep. Shaun: So I agree with that in the context of marriage. If we have made this commitment to each other that we are married, we are creating this life together, I 100 % agree with that sentiment. Where I don't necessarily as agree as much and I kind of like the idea of going 50-50 is before you get married. Like, yeah, they've been together for two years, but they're dating. There's nothing to say that she's not just going to be like, ⁓ well, we went on that fun trip. I'm out, peace. I'm just going to peace out. Jen: Yeah. Yeah. dating. Barry: True. I'll give you that. Jen: That is true. Shaun: I guess you could technically still do that with a marriage, like you can request a divorce, but in the divorce, that is a legal process that you're going through. That's a legal process that you're gonna go through, and those are different things that you can potentially recover some of that that you may have lost. Jen: Yeah, you can get a divorce at any time and take half his money. yeah. You can see it a lot more than a free vacation. Barry: Bro, people crazy nowadays, bro. I'm gonna say you give ⁓ mm hmm. Mm-hmm. Unless you did that prenup. Jen: Yeah. Yeah, but again, I think it's lifestyle. Like if you want to live that high end lifestyle, great. Do you like me? Do you want me to be a part of that lifestyle? Awesome. If I can't afford that, then I do expect you to cover that if you want me to be there. I would love to. If not, like this is what I can do to be there, but don't get mad at me for not doing even more. Barry: I don't know, bro. Again. Shaun: Yes, I want you to be there. Barry: You gonna make me f right? Shaun: I don't think that it's even an anger issue though. Like I don't think that he was getting mad at her for not being able to do more. He was just kind of like, ⁓ yeah, because she wasn't eating. I will say that he was definitely out of touch with that. Jen: He said he was worried she has an eating disorder. Like he is so out of touch with. Barry: No, he was I was gonna say, I don't think it's necessarily mad, but he's definitely not cl yeah, he's out of touch, bro. No clue. Jen: out of touch. Like he definitely doesn't. Shaun: Yeah, for sure out of touch. Yeah, which I think that that happens as you make more money. And if you were around people that don't make as much money, you can become out of touch with that lifestyle they live. And with her, she's having to make these decisions like, OK, if we're going and we're spending hundreds of dollars on dinner, I can only afford to eat two dinners a day. I can't afford to eat more than that. Which good on her, by the way, for knowing what her budget is and sticking to that budget, not going into crazy debt. Jen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Barry: Question. Shaun: to try and keep up with this family that she's trying to be a part of. Barry: That was gonna be my question. How would he take it if he if she was just like, you know what? Screw it. I'm gonna go and I'm gonna just build debt and then and then she comes to him like, Yo, I did this to be with you. What am I supposed to do? Jen: Yeah. We're going to get married and he's going to take it on. Yeah. Shaun: I mean, that's on her if she decided to do that. I don't think that he has any kind of say on that. See, making is crazy. Making is a crazy thing to say. Barry: But he's making her or he's saying I feel like she has a ge eating disorder 'cause she can't Jen: but he's accusing her of having an eating disorder. Barry: Okay. He's suspecting her of having a eating disorder because she's not eating three meals a day. That's where her that's where his brain goes instead of looking like, ⁓ we just spent five hundred dollars on a meal and she I know she's a teacher. Jen: instead of looking back and saying, Shaun: There go. Jen: I just couldn't, my thing is one, I couldn't imagine inviting anyone on a trip with me and my family and seeing them not eat with us, seeing them not go on things with us. If I'm well off, like if I'm going to 100 % best believe I'm gonna be like, listen, if you don't, yes. Barry: I I yeah, I guess I don't Yo ⁓ Yeah, I wanna spread the joy, bro. That's the thing too. Especially if it's somebody that I'm romantically interested in. I don't want them to suffer. I don't want to see them not have fun. That's that's my point in all of it. I don't care if we're married or not. I will go into debt to try and make somebody else's life better. Like I don't know. I guess that's just a different way of seeing the world. Like you said, I guess maybe if you've grown up that lifestyle, you you aren't in touch with that kind of stuff. And so Jen: I don't want them to not be included. Yeah. Yes. Like I, yeah. Yeah, I get. Barry: I don't s that'll be tough for that relationship to work out, I would feel, if he's never gonna tap into that and just be like, Yeah, I'll sh we're gonna stay fifty fifty until until whenever. Like, I don't know, bro. 'Cause if he's doing it now, why wouldn't he do it in marriage? Jen: 100%. Shaun: Well, yeah. Jen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Shaun: Well, I think that that's the discussion that they would need to have. I think that like at this point, they've had the discussion that they're going to go 50 50 on the different things that they are doing. And then if they decide that they do want to go one step further, like what are they looking to do? If he comes from an affluent family, he most likely has some sort of inheritance or something that is waiting on him. So he's probably going to be in a situation to where he's trying to get a prenup. Jen: 100%. Barry: ⁓ I'm assuming. Yeah. But even then, bro, I don't know, man. I don't know. Jen: Mm-hmm. Shaun: Which is okay. I feel like it is okay for you to protect yourself going into a marriage if you need to get a prenup or something like that, go for it. But at the same time, I feel like that would be a conversation that they needed to have as far as what is our life going to look like? Are we gonna be combining expenses? Are we gonna be combining incomes if we get married? Because once you get married and you start thinking even further, like, ⁓ are we gonna buy a house? Are we gonna have a family? What does that look like? Are we gonna plan for tuition for our children? Are we gonna look at... Barry: But again, I don't know. Jen: Yeah. Again. Mm-hmm. Shaun: like all of these different things. I think that that's a whole different story once you get married versus dating, which... Barry: All valid for sure. Jen: Yeah. Barry: ⁓ I mean, but dating for two years, bro, that's a long ass time. Jen: That's a long time. Shaun: That's it's really not though. I don't feel like dating for two years is that long. Especially nowadays. It's a decent. It's a decent amount of time. Barry: What? Bro, I guess kind of going back to like the whole thing with love, bro. Like, if if I've been with you for two years and I don't know whether I'm ready to get on this horse or not, I'm probably gonna be getting off this horse, bro. Like, I'm not gonna spend two years of my life and be like, ⁓ I'm still kind of wishy-washy. Like, if I'm still wishy-washy after two years, it probably isn't for me. Jen: It's a decent amount of time. Two years is a long time. Yeah. Shaun: See, ⁓ I don't know about that. Jen: Isn't it? Shaun: Okay, so why would you have to automatically be wishy washy if you haven't gotten married after two years? If it works, what's the rush to get married at that point? Barry: ⁓ no, okay, I get you. I don't e even if it's not legal marriage, but that we're gonna commit to each other. I guess I'm saying that loosely, 'cause I don't feel like people have to get married to be lifelong partners. I don't think that that's true either. But after two years of being in a committed relationship with somebody, if we're still not having a conversation of what's next, like and we're still talking about splitting frickin' vacations with families fifty fifty, I'm out. Deuces. Sorry. Jen: think. Shaun: Yeah. Yeah. Jen: No. Like, mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then if you see me struggling to pay for things when you know I already took on a second job just to be able to be here and you're going to accuse me of having an eating disorder, you are so out of touch with the world. You are an unintelligent person. Shaun: the Barry: Bruh, like no, that's crazy to me, bro. That's crazy. It's crazy work. Such crazy work right there, bro. Like yeah, if you can't pick up on that and I gotta tell you, yo, I I don't have a de eating disorder, I just can't afford to stay with you. Shaun: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jen: Yeah. I just wanted to go on the vacation to be with you and your family and enjoy the things, but I didn't. Yeah, she does. Whoever you are. She does. Yes, she does. Barry: Yeah, bro. She needs to go ahead and chuck up the deuces, bro. Call it a loss. Yeah, she does. Cause yo, if that's how he approaches money, he's always gonna approach money like that. I hate to say it. Shaun: Yeah. See, I don't think she does. I don't think she needs to chunk up the deuces. So here's the thing. Okay, so here's the thing, because I feel like either way, he puts her in a weird position. Because if they have this conversation of 50-50, and she doesn't go on these excursions, she doesn't eat, then it's weird for her because she's not spending as much time with the family and the rest of the group as she should or as she could. Jen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Barry: Yeah. Very awkward. And they're gonna ask him why is she not coming? I can't afford it. So you're putting her in a horrible situation. Yeah. Jen: And she has to say, ⁓ I can't really afford that. Yeah. Yeah. Shaun: I can't afford it. That puts her in a weird, that puts her in a weird position. I feel like also if he's just like, hey, come out, I've got you. I'm going to cover this for you. I feel like that also puts her in a weird position because now even though you all don't agree, I feel that she probably has this sense of obligation to him because she knows that she doesn't make as much money. She's gone out. She's gotten this extra job. So now she's like, okay, well he paid for me to go scuba diving or to go. wine tasting and to get my dinner for that 500 bucks. So now I need to figure out how I'm gonna pay him back. So that still puts her in a weird position. See, that's okay. Barry: After two years, I don't agree with that statement, Shaun. Jen: I agree, Barry. I think after two years. Yes. Yeah. Barry: But bro, after two years, I I don't know for me. I don't know. I just as a forty one year old person, I look back and I think two years is a long amount of time because life is so short, bro. It is a long time to be committed to somebody and we're still fift ⁓ now, bro. That's what I'm like. If we're integrated and I get if you want to money separate, like I'm not opposed to that. Like Jen said, I have friends that do the same thing and that works for them. Shaun: but I feel like... Jen: Yeah. No, I agree. It is. Yeah. Like, I'm very integrated in your life. You're very integrated in mine. Shaun: That's a decent amount of time. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Barry: But best believe or I would like to believe I guess I've I should ask them if their spouse or lifelong partner was in a situation where they were like, Yo, I can't go out to eat with you and your family while we're on vacation that they would chuck up the bill, bro. Like I just Jen: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shaun: And that's fair. It's fair that they might chunk it up, but I'm saying that that other person might feel a sense of obligation to that person because they did it. Barry: At that point I would think no. Jen: think the only way – I would think no too because at that point if you're feeling that way after two years of being integrated in this person's life, then you are not in a healthy relationship. If you feel like anytime you help me out – and this is friends or romantic relationship or families. If anytime I do something kind for you, I feel obligated to repay you, that is not a healthy relationship. don't want it. Barry: Again, then what are we doing? Why? It's not a commitment, bro. No, exactly. No, bro. Shaun: So we're. ⁓ yeah. Barry: I feel obligated and in debt to you. No. Shaun: ⁓ see, ⁓ I don't know about that. It might be. I definitely feel like that, yeah. Barry: And that could be a personal thing, because I feel like Shaun feels like that. He doesn't like to be in debt to people. Jen: No, because I'm never going to go offer somebody something and be like, OK, now you get me back. Shaun: I gotta see, I gotta get you back. And that's my thing. It's like, I gotta get you back. Like if. Jen: Yeah, please don't feel like you have to pay me back. No. But never should that be the expectation. Shaun: Just like that. But that's, yeah, and that's the thing. It's like... Barry: I am never gonna feel slighted by you. 'Cause I that's just who the way I see it is I expect I don't even want to say I expect that of others. I just how I like to give myself out to people. Shaun: And see, that's where, so I 150 % agree with that. Like I will give until I can't give anymore to my friends, my family. If I have it, it's yours. I will give it to you if I can do so. On the other side of that, I feel a sense of obligation. Like if someone does something for me or if someone buys me something, I'm like, okay, I need to get them back. I need to do this for them because I feel like that's a mutual respect. That's like an appreciation. Jen: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Barry: No well. Jen: Shaun, why do you sound like Sheldon Cooper right now with his gift giving from Big Bang? He doesn't want to give presents because then you have to give back the present of equal or higher value. Like that's what you sound like right now. Shaun: for them doing something. Even, for example, of higher value. Well, even with like, take example, when we went to the movies, we went to see Scary Movie 6 together or yeah, 6, yeah, as a group. And I left my freaking wallet in my car. I didn't have my wallet with me. So I couldn't, I couldn't buy my own drink. But Kenny, his drink, he decided that he didn't want it. So he gave it to me. And then what did I do? I sent y'all money at the end of the night because I was like, I can't, I can't just take a drink. Yeah, I can't do it. Jen: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Barry: ⁓ in the car, yeah. Jen: I can't do it. Barry: I don't I guess, yeah, I guess that's a personal thing, man. But I don't ever I maybe to my detriment, but I don't feel obligated. Like if you offer and here's the thing for me, if I if I'm like if you offer and I'm like, nah, don't worry about it and you're like, no, I I got you, and then I'm gonna take it that you wanna get me. I don't feel any sense of obligation. Not to say that I wouldn't, 'cause I feel like if we're on that kind of a level, it's gonna come back to me eventually. So I d or vice versa. If you're ever in a pinch, like Jen: But again! Shaun: It's just. Jen: Yeah. Shaun: I got you. Jen: Yeah, you got me. Yeah. Shaun: Yeah. Jen: Yeah, exactly. Shaun: Yeah. Yeah. Barry: That night, if if I ever owed you, I'm like, ⁓ no, bro, I got you. Like, that's just how it would be. But I don't, I don't like, I don't put out a sense of like you need to get me back, but I don't also don't feel that. Because if I've offered and said no, or like I'm gonna hit you back and you're like, no, don't worry about it. I'm not gonna be the person that just can yeah, keeps pushing or sending. Like, if you tell me it's good, then I that's what I'm gonna go with the value of what you give me. So I don't know. Shaun: I got you. Jen: Yes. Because. Yeah. Shaun: Hmm. Jen: I'm not going to worry about it. Yeah. Shaun: Hehehe. ⁓ yeah, and it is. Jen: Yeah. But Shaun, also, Barry: I would agree. Yes. It's a different if you're telling the your significant other that we're splitting money fifty fifty and this trip is no different. And me and my expensive ass brother plan this expensive ass trip, right? Yeah, no, bro. That's unhealthy. Shaun: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Jen: at that point. Shaun: So at what point does entitlement come into the conversation? Because... Barry: I mean that's a whole nother level of unhealthiness in a relationship. If somebody feels entitled to that from you, then you should cut that off from them. Set boundaries. Jen: Yeah. That's it, yeah. Shaun: Well, couldn't you couldn't you argue that she is entitled if she were to say like, ⁓ well, if you want me to go on this trip and go on all of the excursions, I'm going to need you to help me. Wouldn't that kind of lenience? Why would that not be entitlement at that point? Jen: No. Barry: I don't think that's entitlement, I just think that's I don't think that's entitlement. Cause he invited her. She didn't say, Hey, we're going on this trip, you're gonna pay for me. That's entitlement. Jen: I don't think that's entitlement. No. Exactly. If she went up and said, I want to plan a family vacation with you and you're going to pay for it all, that's entitlement. think if I'm saying yes, I think, but I think, she got invited. Barry: Yes, that's entitlement. Shaun: That's another layer of entitlement. Yeah. Barry: But it's I but I don't if he's the one he said he planned the trip with his brother. They did all the research. She wasn't a part of that. She wasn't a part of the planning. And she just got hey, we're gonna go Shaun: Well, he didn't say that she wasn't a part of the planning. way that the way that he worded it is that. Jen: Yeah. No, he said that they had a group chat and they all agreed on the things. Shaun: He said, my brother and I were the ones who did most of the planning of the itinerary, although we did ask everyone else for input. So it's not saying. Barry: Most of the planning, yes. Jen: Yeah, but how much input was there? Yeah. Barry: Bro, input is like, yo, would you want to do this if we did it? That's all input is. That's no, bro. Well, if he but he's being vague for a reason, in my opinion. If she had input, he would have said she had input and she like I feel like he would have painted a clearer picture. That's just my take on it, bro. He's being vague because I think he knows he's the asshole, and he ain't trying to paint himself like an asshole. That's just my two cents, though. Shaun: So now we're making... Jen: Yeah. Yes, because he knows he looks like an asshole. Shaun: That's true. Jen: They would have agreed, he would have, yeah. Yeah, I agree. Mm-hmm. Yes, I agree. Shaun: For the record, I agree that he is the asshole. Just wanna put that out there, I do agree. But I do have to play devil's advocate because as someone who would feel obligated in that situation, I understand. I understand that maybe she doesn't wanna ask, she doesn't want to overstep her boundaries or anything like that. She wants to stay in her lane. Barry: Okay. I I I g I appreciate you playin' the devil's advocate, but Jesus, that dude. Now that chick needs to chuck the deuces, bruh. Jen: 100%. Barry: Mm. But like I say, bro, I'm in like I just I go a hundred percent for my people, bro. So I can't wrap my brain around that train of thought. Yeah, that's a long time, bro. For real. I get and even if it was the bills, like even if you stay fifty fifty on the bills, I could still see that. But like to Jen's point, if you want to live in an extravagant lifestyle and I'm a teacher, I can't afford an extravagant lifestyle as a teacher. Like for real. Jen: Yeah. But again, I feel like, ugh, if I'm with somebody for two years and they're that stringent on the 50-50 rule, like, you're just not my kind of person. Shaun: Yeah. Jen: Yeah. And you very clearly know I cannot. Barry: You make three times as much as me. You can live that life. I'm gonna live my own. Yep. Then you're gonna have to help me. That's why I say fifty-fifty is insane. I don't think fifty-fifty in most relationships is a real because they're gonna be like times like Jen said when somebody's not a hundred percent. So I can't give you fifty percent of a relationship. I'm gonna I'm at fifty myself, so that's twenty-five in a relationship. So you're gonna have pick up the extra like and I feel like that's emotionally like mentally. Shaun: That's fair. Jen: I can't, so if you want me to come along with you, I'm either going to not go to things or... Yeah. Shaun: Yeah. Jen: Mm-hmm. Barry: financially all of these things, bro. I just like I can't see sticking that 'cause it's not a realistic thing for people to I I don't know. That's just the way I see it though. Like Shaun: Yeah. Yeah. I think that it works early on in like new relationships because you're getting into it. You're trying to figure everything out. Yeah, you're trying to figure everything out, but as you go further down the road. Yeah. Jen: 100%. 100%. Yeah. Like if we want to go to the movies, I'm going to pay for my ticket, you pay for your ticket. If we're going to go to dinner, I'll pay for my dinner, you go, you pay for your dinner. Yeah. Barry: 'Cause everybody's given a hundred and ten percent at that point. Yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I get protecting yourself financially, but at some point I I just feel like if if we're committed, then you can't hold that card over somebody 'cause then it does become a manipulation. Or in a in a can in turn to entitlement or vice versa. Control. Shaun: And Jen: And it seems almost like gross and grimy that like they're two years into this and he's so out of touch that he's not picking up on the fact that you can't afford it, but that he's also not like, I feel like that's going to be an issue in their marriage forever. ⁓ I make more money than you. So that's me. Not you. I bought that. Not you. Like it already seems like that would be an issue in their relationship. Yeah. Like you're just a teacher who makes 40. Barry: Right. That's what I'm saying. If this he's still holding to that, yes. Yep. Yep. Mm-hmm. It's this card, bro. He's holding it overhead, man. Shaun: I can see that. Jen: $50,000. I make $150. Let's be real. Whose house is this? Like I could see that being something in the future, which is grimy and gross. Yes. Shaun: Hmm. Barry: That entitlement. Makes me think of like white lotus, bro. Shaun: That's fair. Well, can I can also think of that through the context of you see it all the time on like social media and stuff like that. These women are like, well, he has to be six foot. He has to make one hundred thousand dollars. He has to pay for everything. Yeah. Yeah. Jen: Leave him. ⁓ he has to pay for everything. He has to make six figures. Yeah. Barry: ⁓ and no, and those people, no, I that's talk about entitlement, bro. No, that that should never be what you are looking for in a person. 'Cause if it is, you might as well go take your ass on Love Island, bro. Just go make out with people and Yep, for real. No. Especially if you ain't out here, like what are you doing? What do what do you bring into the relationship? Jen: Mm-hmm. You just might as well set yourself up for disappointment because no one's ever going to be perfect. No one's ever going to match all of your boxes. And those things do not get you through life. Shaun: Ha ha ha. Yeah. Jen: Yeah, yeah, 100%. Shaun: Exactly. And that's the question that can never be answered. Like every time that that question is posed, it's like, ⁓ well I do this or ⁓ I look like this. Look at me. You know those things. Jen: Yeah. Barry: But if but then if it becomes a this for that, then it's n again, you're losing the health in that relationship. It should be like we're down for each other 'cause we're down for each other. Jen: Mm-hmm. And again, But that's what makes me mad about and ladies don't come for me. I am a girl's girl. But that's what really makes me. I what makes me enraged when I see videos like that, when people are like, ⁓ I don't look like this so I can pay bills or like if he wants me to look like this and have my nails done and all that, he better be paying for it and all that. And my job is to look nice. Great. More power to you if that's what you want to do. Barry: ⁓ snap. See, y'all, I love the ladies. Y'all th y'all didn't even know that. Shaun: Say it. No, you still hate women, Barry. Jen: but you're literally saying all of his love and attention and everything is based around how I look. And then you're going to get upset and say that he's not loyal or whatever when he cheats on you for somebody that looks younger because you're going to get older. Those looks are going to fade. No matter how much Botox you get, you're going to turn old. It's going to happen. So you're literally basing your entire relationship on what you're picking around money and looks. Barry: Surrelevant, bro. Mm-hmm. Shaun: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Barry: Not all fades. Oof, that's the worst. Don't do it, ladies. Stay natural. ⁓ you're setting up the expectation. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Jen: You're setting up the expectation that as long as you can pay for a lifestyle, I'll keep looking like this. Honey, no, you won't. You will not keep looking like that. Yeah. And then you're going to get upset. Yes, exactly. But like, that's literally what you said you wanted. You said, as long as you pay for me to do this, like, but also I'm a girl's girl. So leave my girls alone. Let them do what they want. Barry: I'll do whatever. No, you won't, 'cause as soon as he out here banging other girls, you're gonna be call on on the socials talk about how much of a dog he is. Shaun: You Barry: Yep. Jen, look at that. Love it. Shaun: ⁓ my gosh. ⁓ Barry: But Jen'll be out here yelling for her girls if you talk to him any kind of way. You better watch it. Jen: That's right. It sure will. Take the bass out your voice. Barry: So funny. But now he's an asshole, for sure. Shaun: That's hilarious. Yeah, I agree. He is. I agree with that. I do. Yeah, it's a very slippery slope. I think that every relationship is unique. Like every relationship is unique. You have your own different pieces to the puzzle. I 100 % agree. Like, I don't think that 50-50 even exists in relationships. Jen: For sure. Barry: No no, that is a slippery slope, man. It's it's relationships are hard no matter what, man. But yeah, adding that kind of stuff. Yeah, very much. And I would agree with that. No. Jen: No, it doesn't. Yeah. Shaun: I think that it's always a sliding scale. Like I might have 60, you have 40. I might have 30, you have 70. I might have 90, you have 10. I feel like it's constantly a sliding scale and you're trying to figure out how we balance each other out. 50-50, sure, you can put a number on it, so to say, if you're thinking of finances, but I don't think that overall it's ever gonna be like a long lasting type of a thing. If it works for you, let us know. Love to hear more about that. Barry: It is. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Jen: 100 % Barry: Yeah. Jen: Yeah. Exactly. Barry: Nah, it's not real, bro. Jen: But with everything else, yeah. No. Yeah. Barry: See, I see it as a percentage thing, bro. If you if you make a hundred and fifty and I make fifty, you make seventy five percent of our income. So you gonna pay seventy five percent of them bills, bro. Jen: We're very interested. Shaun: Hmm. Jen: Mm-hmm. Shaun: Nah, see that's that's crazy to me. Nah. Jen: Clip it! Barry: No, that's the way I would s that's the way I see it. 'Cause if my wife made two hundred fifty, best believe I'd still wanna be out here golfing and doing the things that I wanna do. So that's just but if I don't got no income Shaun: Well, and that's fair. You can still golf and do the things you want to do with your income. Okay, if you don't have it, so you just expect for her to pay for everything? Barry: If I'm a stay at home dad, hell yeah, I would. Jen: Well, mean, it's, yeah, if he's stay at home parent, then yeah. Shaun: Okay, okay, now that's different. Stay at home parent versus someone who just wants things. Okay. Barry: That's what I'm saying. ⁓ no, I would not be a freeloader. If I don't have anything to do with the house and I'm not keeping a house like immaculate, definitely I better be out there getting a job. I be again, I better bring something to the relationship. But if we both have a job and you make a lot more than me and we're gonna maintain a certain lifestyle as a couple, percentages is what makes sense to me. Cause you make a higher percentage. It's just like tax, bro. I feel like rich people should be taxed a higher percentage because they can afford they can afford that. Jen: tip-top shape. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. 100%. Shaun: So at that point though. I agree. Barry: So it's the same thing to me here. Is it's not a flat tax rate. We're not 50-50. If you make more, you're gonna get hired or hit at a higher tax rate when it comes to our pay or like our bills. Is that what we agree to as a couple, what we're going to do. Now, if you want to go have a crazy nice car, that's on you. That's part of your spending. That's what you want. No, I wouldn't expect that. Again, this is me though. I wouldn't expect that as the person coming in less for you to pick that up for me. Jen: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Shaun: So are you saying that you should be able to get one now too? Barry: But we have three cars in our family and we just use all three. Well, I Becca won't drive the stick and the mini, but Jen: But also... Shaun: Well, let's say in that scenario that you painted, like if you are a person that stays at home, like maybe you don't have children, but you keep the house clean, you keep it organized and things like that. What are you bringing to the table in that relationship? Jen: She don't whip around in the mini. Barry: She don't like the menu. Jen: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Barry: Yeah, yeah. Jen: I think there's a lot of things. think... Barry: With no kids? I mean keeping a house is a is especially if it's a bigger home, bro, that costs. Like that costs money. Shaun: with no kids. It does. Jen: And I think no matter what, for sure, I do think it only starts to become an issue truly with people that do have a lot of money and the person, the other person, whether that's a man or a woman, the other person that is staying at home is seen as doing nothing. But there's so many things that you can still bring to a table that aren't connected to the productivity that you are doing every single day. think it's in your communication, if I just Barry: Cleaning, upkeep, like all that adds up. Jen: Kenny's my best friend and I just love and enjoy spending time with him and doing fun things. That's a value as well. And so I think sometimes when... Barry: Bro, if I'm out here scheduling these vacations or our dates, that's value of the relationship. That's effort. Whether whoever's spending ⁓ or spending the money. But same thing with a household. Jen: Exactly. Exactly. So I feel like, yes, I feel like it can get really messy when you say like, well, what are you doing? Like there's ⁓ a lot of things on that list that you could be doing that aren't necessarily tied to a job or like doing a job. Like there's so many other… Well, I think relationships are transactional to a certain extent. Shaun: Mm. Barry: No. Well no, keeping a house is ⁓ that's Shaun: That still sounds like very transactional relationship though, because even- Barry: I mean, most I was gonna say you get something for something. Shaun: Mmm. Jen: to a certain extent, Shaun: To an extent, yeah, but that one almost feels purely transactional because if you're thinking, well, if you're thinking like in the context of like, okay, well, I keep the house clean. I plan like the trips. I make sure that everything is taken care of. Maybe I do dinner. Maybe I like make sure that we have everything stocked the way that it needs to be. That sounds like a transactional relationship because you can hire someone that does all of those things too. Barry: Yeah. ⁓ I would agree with the am I the asshole? Jen: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Barry: I mean, I just I just see that But I'm just saying I I just see that as value. Jen: Yeah, but that's what I mean about there's not, there's more value than just in the transaction of getting a job done. Like there's value in. Barry: It's it's me doing it versus somebody else. Somebody else is not gonna care as much as I do about keeping my home. If I'm paying you, that is transactional. So there is gonna be less care. But if I'm the stay at home person, Jen: Yeah. Shaun: But how can you say that though? How can you say that someone else wouldn't care as much as you do? Barry: 'Cause it's my I don't for me as a person, I'm gonna care more than anything about in than somebody else if it's something that I'm building. I don't think anybody's gonna care as much as I do if I'm building a home. Like if I'm building a home from scratch, if I go pay somebody fifty thousand dollars, they're gonna try and get as much money as me as they can. But if I do it, I'm gonna make sure that it's right and I'm gonna make sure that it it is the best. Same thing if I'm cleaning a home, same thing if I'm upkeeping, like in anything Shaun: Mm-hmm. Jen: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Barry: Making meals for you. Like if if I'm that stay at home person, I'm gonna do all that. The house will be clean. You're gonna have meals cooked ready, like your lunch, if whatever you want, I'm gonna do that. And I don't see it as transact. I just say that's the value. You're providing security as the financial person. So I'm gonna give value in the other things that I can do. I don't see it as necessarily transactional. I mean, I think to Jen's point, a lot of relations to most extent have transactional aspects. Yeah. Jen: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think it's aspects for sure. But again, I do think there are things I, when we limit ourselves to, well, did you do this or did you do this? It is very transactional and then you lose why you were interested in the person in the first place. I think that's why love at first sight gets a little tricky because like I need to know that like I feel supported by you. I feel emotionally supported by you. Shaun: aspects here. Barry: When it becomes this for that Yes. You do lose love. You lose the love, bro. Shaun: Mm-hmm. Barry: Mm-hmm. You gotta be down for me, bro. You might gotta be my ride or die person, man. Yo, if I come to you and say I got a body, you need to be saying where are we burying it? Right? That's what I need, bro. Yup. That's it. Shaun: Mm-hmm. Jen: I feel… Where's the shovel? Yes. You need to be in the garage already getting the tools we need. No, but really, like that is a value as well, not just the transaction. So like being able to laugh with you has value. Being able to like talk about my day or whatever like that has value. So it's not just the, you clean the house while I was gone? Did you do this while I was gone? It's, are you… Shaun: Yeah. Barry: Mm-hmm. Shaun: Hmm. Jen: supporting me. you like, for some people that's all it is. Some people don't have kids and they do stay home and they don't do anything all day. Yeah. Barry: And everybody does have a different like like level or price, whatever you want to call it. Shaun: But for everything that y'all are saying, there's someone else that can also do that. Like I can have a personal assistant that does my shopping for me. I can have my dry cleaning done. I can have best friends that I talk to about these deep conversations. I can have a therapist that I go to and I talk to about those types of things that maybe I can't tell other people. Just what? Barry: For sure. Jen: Yeah, 100%. But are they going to emotionally support you? Are they going to? Barry: So then if that's the things So you just questioning the need of a relationship, Shaun? Is that what you're saying? Jen: Listen. Shaun: I'm very much questioning the need of relationships. Like, you know how I live, but. Jen: I think it's a different level. It is a very much a different level when you are in a relationship with someone. Sure, be single. do think there is a different level of understanding of knowing a person through and through. I mean, obviously, I'm going to tie mine to marriage because I'm married, but I know not everybody gets married. And I think it's just the commitment piece that is really it. Like when you truly are committed to someone in life, I think the understanding and knowing of having that connection and support with somebody is just unmatched in the world. Barry: I I mean I don't Jen: And no matter how many therapists you go see, no matter how many friends you have, I have some amazing friends that still don't know everything about me the way that my husband does. And so I feel like that connection and that relationship and having that, you're not going to be able to recreate that with a bunch of other things as much as you try. Like it will be great. It could be great. You can live a great life like that. It won't be. Barry: Facts. Shaun: Yeah. Jen: the deep connection that I feel I experience. Barry: Mm-hmm. think that's individualistic to each person, honestly. 'Cause I like I say I feel like people can fulfill lives as in as as single people. Like you can find those connections. I don't know. Jen: Yeah, it could be. Shaun: I think so too. I think that very much depends on you as a person. Jen: No, 100%. You can live an amazing life and you cannot want that type of connection. Like that's absolutely possible. Barry: And that's the thing. I think that's what it comes down. I I but I don't know. I think you you could potentially have equal connections with different people of the same way, opposite sex, I feel. I feel like I feel like people can connect it regardless of the type of relationship. And so you could have a deep connection with the person of the same sex and not be homosexual. Just like you connect with that person. And so that could fulfill that void for some people, I feel. Shaun: I agree. Jen: Yeah. Yeah. Shaun: Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Barry: I mean we all serve different I don't know, I feel like I'm very yeah, I mean I f I'm a very compartmentalized person in my life, I feel. I I'm very different to different people and I still know who I am, like underneath it all, but people get different versions of me in all aspects of my life and Shaun: You are. Jen: ⁓ for sure. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. And don't know me. 150%. Yes. For sure. Shaun: There are people that have known me for decades and don't know me at all. Barry: And yeah. Yeah. So I I don't know. I think I I I do think you can feel the level of connection that Jen's talking about and it can be with the spouse. But it does I think to the point what I'm maybe kinda seeing what she's trying to say underneath is you've got to go through a a lot of things with somebody and you do have to be vulnerable and experience those things and for them to know like all your all the secrets. Now, I think yes, for a lot of people it is their spouse 'cause yeah, I would agree Becca knows me deeper than any other person on the planet. But even with that being said, I still could let Becca in more. Like I know I can. Like I keep things for myself and I know she wants to know them, but I I do have a wall and then and I don't know if it'll ever come down. Now I mean I'm being real. I am. Jen: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Tell us more, Barry. Shaun: For sure. Jen: No, yeah, 100%. 100%. Barry: Like I do and I do the same not to say that I I don't know, I just I give the version that I think people need of me to them. I think in all my relationships I do. Jen: in the moment. Yeah, for sure. Shaun: There's only so much that you can trust people with who you are too. Jen: Appreciate it. Mm-hmm. Barry: Nah, and I think that's probably part of it. I don't know if everybody will like me for who I know I am. So I do give people different bits of me. Shaun: Yeah. Jen: Yeah. But it's also some, like you, you said it a minute ago, like some things I just want to keep for me and it's just for me. Yeah. And whether that's just cause I want to keep it for me or for any other reason, like not everybody deserves your inner thoughts or your inner feelings and not, yeah, just different people, different relationships. Barry: And there are things that I just keep for me. So Yeah. Yeah. But no, I could see filling the different voids of of a long term relationship with other people, for sure. I could agree with that. Jen: Mm-hmm. Shaun: No, for sure. Jen: Yeah, 100%. Shaun: All right. Well, cool. Now that our therapy session is over. ⁓ man. But now we need to get out of here for real. ⁓ Thank you all. Yeah. Thank you all so much for hanging out. ⁓ There's going to be a couple of really cool things that you see coming out pretty soon. We've got a really special project happening for you. Jen: I was about to say, so you'll get my bill in about 30 minutes after the call is done. ⁓ Barry: Speaking of transactional. Jen: We're over time guys. Barry: Way over. Keep your eyes out, y'all. Shaun: So be on the lookout for that project. I'm not going to tell you too much about what's going on there, but there will be information to come. As I said earlier, though, thank you so much for joining us. We love every single one of you for your support and for coming through and watching us listening to us wherever it is that you might listen. If you have not already, go and check out our website, www.baldenoughtosayit.com. You've got all of our different platforms for social media and any of the different ways that you might want to listen to us. ⁓ We definitely appreciate everyone who has been there to support us. We have a couple of, I just said it a couple of moments ago, but we have a couple of really cool big announcements that are gonna be coming out here in probably the next few weeks or so that we are planning some really cool things for you guys. So keep listening and we love you. We'll see you in the future for episode number eight. Bye everybody. Jen: Yeah. Barry: Appreciate y'all. Peace out. Jen: And good. Shaun: and cut. Barry: Sorry, I took us like thirty minutes down crazy side street. Jen: We Shaun: No, I was looking, I was like, man, we've been recording for almost two hours. I looked at the clock. I'm like, it's 1040. We got to go. Let's get out of here. Jen: for a long time. we might have to trim. Well, maybe we can pull something out of here for if it is too long. Yeah, maybe we can pull something as content for Patreon. Shaun: The shorter. Yeah, I think like maybe the Am I the Asshole or even like some of the... I keep wanting to say Love at First Sight, the Love Island stuff. Yeah, I think that even some of that could might be clipped into like the shorter three to five minute segments too. So that might be good clippings for us. Jen: Love Island. Yeah. year. Barry: ⁓ show. You wanna stop this so we can start uploading? Shaun: Man, go for it. Jen: Yes. We're 11 minutes past my bedtime, guys. Shaun: We're, I was about to say we're all.