Latest / The Diva Details / Threesomes, Swinging, and Situationships: The Evolving Faces of Love

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Threesomes, Swinging, and Situationships: The Evolving Faces of Love · The Diva Details

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Welcome to the Diva Details. Welcome to the Diva Details.
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Where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real, and powerful.
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Music.
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No filters, no limits.
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Just fearless conversations to help you thrive. Let's dive in with Diva Mia and Diva Cat.
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Well, welcome back, Diva Cat. Welcome back, Diva Mia.
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How have you been? Oh, I'm great. Yeah? Yes, can be better.
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Well, that was interesting last week, talking about arranged marriages and matchmaking.
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I'm really interested in that AI matchmaking. Let's do it. I will give it a try. Why not?
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I know. It sounds interesting. This only cost $5,000.
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I'll wait a little bit so I'm ready for that. Yes. But I thought we should give
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some kind of some equal time to marriage because there are a lot of married listeners.
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And then there's a lot of listeners that are also open to alternative types of relationship.
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Maybe we could recover that for the people that are in relationships or in alternative
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relationships. Let's do it.
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First thing I wanted to talk about is just like traditional marriage.
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Yeah, traditional marriage. Define traditional marriage. Define traditional marriage.
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I think it's changed over time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and ceremonies have changed.
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Religious ceremonies have changed. It used to be just a heterosexual union,
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and maybe non-heterosexual, we'll just say that.
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What men and women do in their marriages has changed. In the 1960s, women stayed at home.
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It's true. And men went out and made money, and women took care of the children.
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Yes. And now it's kind of changed a little, don't you think? Yes, it changed.
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Right now, some household, the women's brick making. Is that sometimes the man
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stays home? The man stays home, yeah.
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And it kind of changes the dynamic, I think, in a relationship.
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I think whatever it works in your household. But I do love being home, though.
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I do like a man, though, that still steps up in their life.
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Even though I'm a provider, too, it's tough. I will say for a lot of women out
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there that are out there making money, taking care of the kids,
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running the household, a lot of them are still running the finances because
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the men aren't so great at it. Right.
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You have to juggle a lot. A lot. A lot of juggle a lot. You know,
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I'm staying home mom now, and we still have to juggle, too.
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It changes, too, kind of the dynamic with your partner.
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Yes. because when you get exhausted like that, it's hard to be intimate and
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have a lot of fun. That is true.
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When you're tired and you're spending all your time working and then you come
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home and you go on lingerie, it's a little tough.
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Spent a lot. It has changed the dynamic. You have to kind of liven up your relationship
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a little bit. I think so. What are we suggesting?
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I don't know. I mean, it's just toys are fun. I mean, we have talked about doing toys.
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And it depends on the family. A lot of families are involved in community.
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Yeah. community involvement and then on top of all their their responsibilities with their marriage.
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People have you know different activities their kids are activities as we get older,
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it does get a little easier you think so i think
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so because once your kids are gone and you're an empty nester i think rekindling
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the relationship's a lot easier don't you think i think so too the empty nester
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that's what they call themselves yeah yeah i was there yeah i almost did two
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more years See more years and then you get to rekindle and have fun and travel
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and just spend each time with each other.
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Yeah. I think that's so, so very important.
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Very important. Do you have any plans with that? I have a whole travel plan
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right out this year. Do you?
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So you're already starting. I'm already starting. We started last year, actually.
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You know, that's so important because I know a lot of people have problems in their marriage.
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They get burned out or, you know, the kids are a lot.
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You know, when you're raising children, it's like another full-time job.
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Yeah. I would say, though, with the traditional marriage, even just to break
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away, the weekend getaway, just two of you, which is a very great idea.
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It doesn't have to be a big deal.
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Even just to lock yourself in your room and having the champagne or whatever
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inside your room doesn't matter.
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Valentine's Day wasn't too long ago. It's kind of nice to have those romantic
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weekend getaways, even when it's not a romantic Valentine's Day.
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Yeah, I didn't get to stay at the hotel, though.
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Well, you didn't? Yeah. I'm sorry.
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But that's okay i'll make it up that would have been fun
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yeah that would have been fun spring break coming so we'll make
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it up it's okay i know we had talked about arranged marriages i think
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a lot of times people do get married as well because of social pressures even
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before maybe they're ready i don't like even they they're thinking like people
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that age marriage at this age you have to get married this certain age you have
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to have care this and that you have you know your clock is taking,
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all of that is just put in the bag.
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Even though we married tradition, we still have to think the new tradition way.
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Right. And you waited to get married.
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I didn't get married until I was 40. So you waited. I waited,
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yeah. You found your one before that. What age were you when you found him?
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I found my husband. Yeah.
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I found him. I was only 32.
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So you took eight years. It took eight years to get married. Well,
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But yeah, even fun though. It was a long run. It was a long run fun. Yeah?
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Yes, yes, yes. And we still keep, we took a pause when you have a kid.
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Oh, they're older. Now it's time to start back up again.
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I think men need to be more respectful of all the challenges women are dealing
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with that they didn't have to deal with before.
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Because we are working multiple full-time jobs when we're taking care of the
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kids as well. In the household, yes. I think you have to break it down.
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You know, you're working. it doesn't have to be the men had to
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be the one who bring money in the house and the men had to be the one
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planned the whole thing all the time it does not work
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that way because right now some women makes more than men that's true if the
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woman's out there working her butt off too the men has to help out they need
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to step in yeah i think a lot of times people think that these are women's jobs
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and these are men's jobs yeah i think you need to have a nice balance if if
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your boat you have a dual income household.
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I think in the household, you need to get away from that. This is a woman's
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job. This is a man's job. It's both of your jobs.
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You know what I mean? I do wish I had a dual income because I will say it was
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much easier than being on a single mother's income.
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Yeah, that's for sure. But you did a great job. I'm doing okay.
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Yeah, you did a great job. One of the things about marriage is the vow. The vow.
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The vow. You promise to love them until death depart and sickness and health.
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And a lot of people our age are going through illnesses and have problems.
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It's difficult for people right now because it is challenging for women to take
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care of men or for men to take care of women up until death do they part.
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Going through that, I know there have been times where people go through health
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challenges and the partner just leaves.
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That happens all the time. Or the partner just leaves because...
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That happened to my own good friend.
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Yeah. She found out she had MS. It's difficult to all.
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They treat her chemo. I don't know what kind of MS she has, but they treat her
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like, treat her hot chicken, you know? Oh, okay. She's great now.
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She's never felt better, but the husband left through that time.
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So that happens a lot. That happens a lot about a person's character, I think.
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And here we are. You think like kids are older, out of the house,
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time for anything that's done.
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It's not always happened also, you know?
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So now she's on her own? Now she's on her own. Oh, we should be together and
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hang out. Yeah. I would love it.
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You have to fly to Hawaii. Oh, okay. No problem.
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As we get older, things start to happen. Just to be, you know,
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gracious and graceful with your partner.
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Because there's going to be ups and downs in every marriage.
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There's challenges people have to deal with. There is a lot of challenges.
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Sometimes when you get real fired up, I think it's good to take a step back and bite your tongue.
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I know I have a bad tongue. I wish I could bite my tongue a lot of times,
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but a lot of times it happens when you already say that.
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I say, oh, shoot, I should not say that. So you were in a relationship for eight years.
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Eight years before we decide to get married. We start off as friends.
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We both got out from a bad, long relationship, and we never thought we were
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going to get married. So you were a little gunshot.
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Yeah, we were a little gunshot. We just think like it was just a setback or
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something, and we would just hang out.
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Yeah. Even our close friend didn't know for like two years.
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Everything, we still remain friends. And you could call, we still were friends
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with benefits, you could say.
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But we were exclusive to each other, but we don't call each other boyfriend and girlfriend.
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We didn't admit till we started getting away when we first came out together, two years later.
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Relationships are funny. There is no time limit. And I used to say that you
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need at least two years to get to know someone before it in the marriage.
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I mean, yours was eight, but my father, he was divorced for 40 years or so. Oh, wow.
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He ended up, he dated a lot. He went through a lot of different relationships, some of them long-term.
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When I was 25, he was dating a 25-year-old. So that's a whole other issue.
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But anyway, he was quite the... I don't want to say player, but I'm going to
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then say player. He was quite the player.
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He got married. I got a phone call. Okay. He said, I got married.
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And I was like... Not to the 25-year-old, isn't it? No, not to the 25-year-old.
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This is recently. Okay. A 25-year-old was when I was 25. That was, you know, 27 years ago.
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He gave me a call and he says, I got married. And I was like,
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huh? Because I didn't know I was dating.
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Mm-hmm. And he said, yeah, I'd like you to talk to her. Oh, wow.
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So I talked to her. And she was nice enough. I ended up meeting her one year at Christmas.
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Mm-hmm. Because I went out over the Christmas holiday. They've been married for a few years now.
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Mm-hmm. We talked about their relationship. It was interesting because I never
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knew this. They only dated 14 days before they got married.
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14 days? After him being single for 40 years. Oh, wow. And he said,
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when you know, you know. I was like, hold, right?
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He didn't tell me that until after they'd been married
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for a few years oh wow and he's had
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some health issues going back to the health issues and he had
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a stroke and she's been she's been instrumental she's a wonderful woman and
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i think she's adorable and the two of them together you can tell they're in
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love and it's still you know multiple years later and they're adorable and i
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wouldn't have found i couldn't have found a better pick for him see there goes
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my two-year belief system, right? They have to date somebody for two years.
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I'm not that fast. I don't think I would ever do that. You never know.
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I mean, maybe if I'm single for another 20 years, who knows?
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Well, it happened to one very close friend of us. Really? Yeah.
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She only met her husband in two weeks.
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Everything is two. Two weeks, got engaged in two months.
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After the wedding, got pregnant in two months, they have four kids together and they Wow.
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But he's married, but he, uh-huh, up till now, I think they're 30-something years already.
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Well, no, mine didn't go from engagement. Mine went from two weeks of dating.
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Two dating and then... In 14 days, fully married.
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Oh, wow. And I was like, what?
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No one knew. They ended up just getting married at a pastor's house that they
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knew, and they were happy.
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Talk about permanent. I mean, you better like the person then. Yeah.
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If you get married and then you get divorced, you might be a little gun-shy, right?
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Mm-hmm. So one of the things that kind of I've flown into, like the thought
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process is going into not a relationship,
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but have you heard of a situationship? That's the first time.
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Is it? Yes. This is the first time I heard of it. So you have to look up the
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definition. Yeah. So a situationship, it's kind of, it's different. It's more ambiguous.
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And there's, when you're in a situationship, there's, you kind of define it
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with the person you're with. Okay. There's no commitment. I don't know where
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you're going. There's no commitment.
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You don't really label them as boyfriend, girlfriend. If you call a boyfriend
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once in a while, she gets called your girlfriend, it's kind of okay.
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Okay. Communication can be...
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Hit or miss like you could go for a week where you talk to
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him every day and then not talk to him for a few weeks that put
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a lot of stress out it may it depends on how secure
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you are with yourself you don't have any long-term plans but
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when you want to get together you get together i know a
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lot of people in their 40s and 50s they're very busy people that's
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true and committing to a relationship relationship takes
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work yeah i know right now bringing a man into
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my life would be almost impossible because i have so much
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going on i literally i'm working 60 to 70
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hours a week plus i have children that's true so it'd be
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a challenge right can maybe i looked
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at my schedule i don't have time for a man but if i
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go on a trip would i want a guy to come along maybe maybe if
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if i have a weekend free maybe i can fly the
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guy in that's like perfect situation it is
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kind of a good situation yeah it's i'll
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bet you that's happened a lot it's kind of comfortable yeah
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if it's comfortable for me because it's like you're more than friends you
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may have sex you may not yeah you enjoy
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each other's time you could just travel together that could be a situation situation
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yeah like we were talking about the travel yeah that's all
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matchmaking yeah there can be emotional intimacy but there may not be don't
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you think it's a long term you don't get emotional attacks with that no i think
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you might get emotionally attached in the beginning but when it turns into a
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situationship instead of a relationship it makes it easier to pull back so that
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when When you're with them, it's wonderful.
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But when you're not, it's okay. It's great for long-distance relationships,
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like we were talking about.
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It's casual. It's emotional when you're together, but not really emotional when
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you're not. I think that's kind of what management and I start off with.
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It sounds like it. Uh-huh. I think that... You weren't really telling people.
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No, we weren't together all the time. No, we were not together all the time. Our job was really busy.
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We all travel in different sides of the world, though.
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But when we get together, we get together. And it was fun. It was fun.
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So you started off with a situationship that turned into a relationship that turned into marriage.
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I started off as a situationship and then roommate.
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We started off like know each other, you know, kind of like situationship, friend with benefit.
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He has his own place. I have my own place. His lease coming up and I just had
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the idea, why don't you, you know, I need help with the rent.
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And then I just move in. Yeah. At that time, our job is just re-
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You're just working a lot. We just work a lot. We barely home. I live in a suitcase.
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I think there's a lot of situationships out there. I think so,
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too. The thing I like about the situationship is that there's a lot of open
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and honest communication.
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I think you become better friends in a situationship because there's not so
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much pressure to turn it into a marriage. I agree.
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I honestly feel like I could tell the person I've been in a situationship with anything.
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If I wanted to, I can be open. I can be honest. I can tell them how I feel.
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They get upset. It's okay.
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It's okay, especially at this age. I think it happens a lot in between.
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There's a lot more honesty. 40, 50s. Yeah, a lot more honesty.
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See, my thing is I want a situationship. I would prefer one that was local,
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but, you know, I don't know if I have time for a situationship that's local.
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Like if they're distanced, you know, it makes it so much easier to manage with my schedule.
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I think it's a perfect scenario for you. Yeah. And you, one of the reasons why
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people do situationships is because they got burned in the past or they're afraid
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of committee. And you were.
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Yes, that's happened. And I think that's how exactly how we started.
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Yeah. And there was no pressure. No pressure. That makes it so much easier.
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It was so much fun. and then what happens in a situationship if
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you grow closer together great but if
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you don't and you find someone else you just let
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the other person know yeah there might be a little hurt feeling oh yeah definitely
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a little bit a little bit but it's not going to be like you were my one you
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were my soulmate i can't live without you type of thing but i think you have
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to be opened up upfront from beginning if you want to have that kind of situation
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but in the long run you know
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day goes on if you're feeling changed and then you guys have
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you have to you have to talk about that again yeah i
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think i i agree and then if you for example if
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you become like for us when we then decide to become exclusive and then we have
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to talk about now we open up yeah you know boyfriend girlfriend i don't think
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the situationship will work if one person wants a relationship yeah yeah and
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the other doesn't yeah i think both people have both had to be ready yeah had
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to be the same And honestly,
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I would call it, do you want to have a situationship with me?
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Yeah. I would say, look, I'm busy, you're busy, I'm not ready for anything more.
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Especially if you're newly divorced, you know, six months, a year out,
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you may not be ready or newly out of a long-term relationship.
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Or maybe you're just young and you're not ready for the commitment yet.
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That's true. I think this work out just fine for the young professional, single. Yeah.
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Right? It does. Now, and the nice thing is, is in a situationship,
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you can define that, hey,
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I want to have a situationship with you. If you want to sleep around,
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I want you to break from soft with me. Yes.
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Because I'm in this just for companionship, intimacy.
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We go out and we have fun together. But if you're going to be with other people, you can do that.
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But I don't want to, like, you can say that. That can be one of the rules.
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Because that way, you don't open yourself up to STDs and things like that.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. Yeah. In a way, you both have to be agreed to be
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in situations. You have to agree.
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Yeah, you have to be agreed. People over time, from these situationships,
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they evolve when they go into relationships and then they get married. They get married, yeah.
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Yeah. Look at us. And it's sound and it's stable.
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Yeah, I think so too. Because let's face it, right, at this age, you have to be honest.
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Even if you don't honest, you already know what people are going to say.
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I've done it all, right? Don't be lying to me. I've been that wrong.
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You know as soon as the guy opened your first statement, don't you?
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So you've done it all. Have you ever had an open marriage?
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No. No? Would you ever consider one? No.
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No. I know open marriage is a buzzword. I've heard it a lot lately.
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Really? I have. I've even seen people on the dating apps say,
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hey, I have an open marriage.
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And my wife knows I'm doing this or my husband knows I'm doing this.
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I'm just looking for some additional companionship. My wife is very busy at work.
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We've agreed to have an open marriage. Oh, wow.
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That's something that moving more and more popular. Open marriages,
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you know, there's different types. There's swinging.
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There's casual dating. Like, they just go out and casually have sex with people.
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In both parties, husband or wife. Well, like, they won't be together. They won't be together.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's a polyamory relationship where they create,
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it's like polygamy almost.
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Because they create a whole other romantic. They might have a mistress. A mistress.
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Wow. Talk about mistress. That's a whole new issue. Yeah. Yeah.
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In my culture, not all guys. Only some guys. they define how wealthy they are
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by how many mistress they have.
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Wow. The difference is they're not really described as a mistress.
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Okay. Because in a true open relationship, there's open communication in the marriage.
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Okay. Meaning that if you take someone home, you tell your partner.
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Oh, wow. You bring them home too? No, no, no, no.
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You tell your partner, hey, I had sex with somebody at a bar. Oh, I see.
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Yeah. Or I, you know, I want to swing with this leather. This other supple.
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Swinging is more where you have like, a couple swings with another couple and
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you trade partners and you're both present.
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I've heard about the swing. They actually have like swing party.
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Yeah, they're swingers. Yeah.
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Yeah, they are swingers. If you're not telling your wife that having a relationship
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with someone else, like the polyamory where you create a whole other mistress or type of mistress.
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That means you're cheating. That means you're cheating. Yeah.
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There have been people that have come back and said, oh, I wanted an open relationship.
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Well, you should have talked about it before you cheated. Before you cheated,
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yeah. To me, a vow is a vow.
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Right. I'm not into open marriages or relationships. It's fine for other people.
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But to me, it just doesn't work. Yeah.
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That happened both way too, though. It hasn't happened both way.
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The wife go off. It hasn't been communicated.
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Even the casual dating, if you want an open relationship where every once in
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a while you get to go have a fling, that needs to be talked about as well.
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And there's some people that say we can have an open relationship and you could
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go have a fling, but I don't want you having a relationship with something else. I see. Yeah.
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The problem happens when they get attached to whoever they just had a flame with. Yeah.
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So that happens a lot, too. So here's the problem with open marriages,
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I think. I think there's a lot of jealousy. Oh, yeah. Of course.
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I know I would not like it because I'll be very jealous. Oh,
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yeah. You don't know who they're sleeping with. Yeah.
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There's STDs, possibly. Yeah. You don't have to worry about that.
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And emotionally, it's complicated, especially if there's children.
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Yeah. Can you imagine the partner showing up at an event with your kids Is there
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something else to be there?
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I can't even think it. I had a good talk about it right now.
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Yeah. So, no, I don't think that's going to work.
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Yeah, because what happens when you get sex and emotions involved with a person,
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it can destroy the marriage.
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I think it will. When you start to have open marriage, you end up divorced. Well, here's the thing.
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I will say I've heard it a lot more that men say, oh, I want an open marriage from a man.
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Because, you know, their wives are burnt out. They're tired.
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They're working. They're taking care of the kids. and they're just exhausted.
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They hire a housekeeper. Yeah, and they have sex with a housekeeper.
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That's a whole new issue. When that happens, and a man goes off and has sex
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with someone else, there's going to be a lot of hurt feelings.
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And if a relationship does come out of it, a woman's going to feel slighted.
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Yeah, I would not allow that. No, I don't do open marriages either. No.
21:54
If you're going to go have a relationship and have a mistress,
21:58
you need to, first of all, tell your wife.
22:00
And then secondly, make sure that both sides are okay with it.
22:03
Yeah, make sure you tell your wife, hey, I'm going to have open relationship.
22:06
And your wife's going to think, what's wrong with me? Am I not enough for you?
22:09
Yeah. One of the big things is you have to set so many ground rules up front. Yeah.
22:14
So that they know what's allowed, what's not. Yeah. You have to be careful about miscommunication.
22:19
Yeah. Because you have to tell them, I am having an affair with such and such person. Yeah.
22:24
Regardless, open or not tell or not tell, I think you are having an affair.
22:28
Well, no, if they tell...
22:31
And both sides are okay with it. Like, for instance, let's say,
22:34
heaven forbid, something happens and your partner's wheelchair back. Okay.
22:38
Oh, I see. Okay. Your partner says, I'd like to have an open marriage.
22:41
Mm-hmm. And I can't have sex with you anymore. Right. But I want you to be satisfied. Yes.
22:46
But don't have a polyamory relationship. Mm-hmm. You can have casual dates.
22:51
And that would be okay. Yeah, I understand.
22:53
It could happen. It could happen. That is true. I mean, there's reasons for
22:57
it. Mm-hmm. I just, you just have to be so careful.
23:00
Mm-hmm. Because unless you're willing to throw your marriage away by having
23:05
sex with someone else, you better define it and you better make sure the rules are followed.
23:09
Yeah. So the other thing is, is like what happens when you have an open marriage
23:13
and your partner spends more time with the other person than you now?
23:16
See, that happens a lot, too. You got to talk about your boundaries. Your boundaries.
23:21
That's a movie about it. Fatal Attraction. Yeah. It's about a murder. Yeah.
23:25
Yeah. Crazy. Crazy woman. Yeah. So. Yeah, he has an affair, and then the woman
23:30
ends up going psycho on him because he goes back to his wife.
23:33
So if you leave your partner for someone you're having an affair with,
23:36
you're very unlikely to stay married. Yeah.
23:40
A lot of them, they end up getting divorced. 25% of marriages will stay together after an affair.
23:45
So this is not an open marriage. This is after somebody just has an affair.
23:48
You may stay together, and it kind of, I think, depends if you were honest.
23:52
And if the person found out about the affair, like the spouse,
23:55
like in my case, figured it out. Yeah.
23:58
75% of the marriages end in divorce. You have to think that some of the open
24:01
marriages will end in divorce, too. Yeah.
24:04
I think all these open marriages are going to end up divorce.
24:07
I mean, to me anyway, that just means my opinion.
24:10
Out of those 25% that get divorced, 30% of those people will stay together with the cheater.
24:18
So whoever they cheated with. Whoever they cheated with. Yes.
24:20
So you'll not get married or you just stay with them.
24:23
But after that, only 3%. If you get married, stay married. Stay married. Because if...
24:28
Basically, what happens, they say once a cheater, always a cheater. I agree.
24:32
Marriage is the big thing. You have to work with it. It's a process. It's a process.
24:37
Oh, it's 3% to 5%. 30% stay with a cheater, 3% to 5% that get married to the
24:43
person they cheated with actually stay married.
24:44
That's messing up the national average, right, on marriage, divorces?
24:49
Yeah. When you're having an open marriage, it's very likely you're going to get romantically.
24:54
And then what happens if somebody finds out? The world is not that big after all.
24:59
You may run to each other in the market or something.
25:03
Yeah. So let's say you had an affair or an open marriage, either way.
25:07
Like people find out about it. Oh, they definitely will. Family,
25:10
friends. Family, friends. There's going to be a social.
25:13
Especially all these social media around and social gathering.
25:17
Miserable. And it'll be miserable for your children. Oh, yeah.
25:20
You have to think about the kids.
25:23
Here's my thing. When you get married. Okay. And you have children.
25:27
And when you cheat, you break the vow not just towards the spouse,
25:32
but towards your children.
25:33
So you just have to realize that. Yeah. Now, if you have an open marriage and
25:37
you're committed to your spouse and you're going to stay together,
25:40
but you still want to sleep around, I mean, that's your decision.
25:44
But you better be clear because it very well may end up destroying your marriage.
25:50
Not just marriage, destroy the whole family. And your kids, if they find out
25:54
where the talent is, they're going to be.
25:55
People in town find out in whatever town you're in or city, especially in their schools.
26:00
They could be made by a lot of jokes. It makes a lot of impact to your kids.
26:04
It does. It has to be. It does. Yeah. I think open marriage, you know what?
26:08
Yeah. You have to be concerned about that. And then increase the risk of the
26:12
health, the STD. I know. It's kind of scary.
26:15
It's kind of scary. Open marriage, in other words, is like you sneak around.
26:19
Yeah. You have multiple partners. You have a higher chance of getting an STD. Yeah.
26:24
So many things out there. And, you know, to me, marriages are so complicated in a way.
26:30
And we disagree on different things. You know, they all see the toilet seat
26:34
up. That's my big thing. Oh, my God. Put the toilet seat down.
26:38
I don't care if you're dating or you're married. Put the damn toilet seat down.
26:42
Because if I go in there in the middle of the night and I fall in that damn
26:44
toilet and my butt hits the water, I'm going to be very upset. Right?
26:49
Put the toilet seat down. I'm telling you, man, put the toilet seat down.
26:53
Yeah, I think the only way to make this work is to really have strong communication, a lot of trust.
27:00
Wow. And you both have to agree. You have to completely agree on it. To adapt it to it.
27:06
And here's the thing. Maybe you do it for a short period of time and you don't
27:09
do it for a very long period of time. You try it out. Now, I see all these people
27:11
in these dating apps advertising it.
27:14
Sometimes there's even couples. Both of them. They're both on there saying,
27:18
we're looking for another couple to swing with them. Oh, wow.
27:21
Swinging is where other couples get together with couples. Yeah.
27:25
They get together and they just trade partners. They're trade partners. They even have parties.
27:30
Yeah. Yeah. Someone will just host the swinging party. Did you hear about soft swinging? Yeah.
27:36
So that's just like kissing, frondling, and oral sex. There's no intercourse.
27:40
There's no intercourse.
27:41
You get to third base, but not home run. But then you go home to each other.
27:45
And you go home to each other and you might have sex with your partner.
27:47
My hair sex with your partner. Okay.
27:49
Because the intercourse, I will say, there's a deep connection when you're actually
27:52
having intercourse. And you don't get when you're not. Mm-hmm.
27:56
Like, playing around is one thing, but having intercourse, it's a deeper connection.
28:00
It's a deep, yeah. Soft swinging, I've heard about.
28:03
Soft swinging. And actually, I just heard later on the radio,
28:07
too, people just like hosted the swinging party.
28:10
Yeah, they hosted the swinging party. I think I've seen it on a few movies lately and TV shows.
28:16
It's been interesting because they're trying to normalize it.
28:20
And then I've also seen it where they have swinging parties where you go in
28:23
and like there's people that have different types of fetishes.
28:26
And so their fetish gets entertained.
28:28
You have to kind of know what maybe your wife doesn't entertain your fetish.
28:32
So they have fetish parties too.
28:35
Thinking is like all the disease out there. Hopefully all these people get tested.
28:38
And that's the thing. You never know. See?
28:41
You never know. You can have a full swap swing where you're like trading partners completely.
28:47
You can do just like one couple with another couple. You could do have a swinging party.
28:51
Some people do it in the same room. Some people have separate rooms.
28:54
Like they say, I'm going to have sex with your wife.
28:57
Imagine oh my god they go into a separate bedroom or they all they all get together
29:02
in one room and or they have group play where people just pick a partner i know it's different right.
29:11
It's different it's not my it's not my company but there's a lot of people that
29:14
are into these things now it is though they are i heard a lot about it lately
29:18
too well i think with you know born's advancing thing i think so yeah but then
29:23
there's the same problems that you have With open marriages, there's jealousy.
29:27
Some people lose interest in their marriage after they swing. Yeah.
29:31
And they just like swing with everybody. I like your wife better than my wife,
29:34
you know. And they like swap wives. Or swap husbands.
29:37
How about a husband and a husband? Exactly.
29:40
The wife and the wife. If you're known as a swinger in the town,
29:43
word kind of gets around. Sure.
29:46
I mean, I guess some people don't care. And I guess it's probably easier if you're an empty nester.
29:51
But if your kids are still at home and you're
29:53
swinging just be cognizant and respectful to
29:57
your children that's all i ask yeah so that's
29:59
a community around here they call they have like empty nester party really yeah
30:05
here around here yeah wow empty nester party now now that we bring about this
30:11
swinging subject i just think that maybe they just use that name a front reality
30:16
it might be the swing party.
30:17
Well, and some of the swing parties are fetishes, right?
30:20
Mm-hmm. And you have to have a safe word, a safe place together. Yeah.
30:24
Inti-nesto party. So I wonder, that was another word of swinging party.
30:29
Yeah. Inti-nesto party. I could see it. I could see it, too.
30:32
If you think about it, maybe it could liven up the marriage. The marriage.
30:36
We think of it as, oh, there's going to be trust issues, but it might liven
30:40
it up. Here's the thing with some men.
30:42
If they see you with another man, They may get so mad and so jealous.
30:48
Yes. It may go crazy.
30:50
Don't you think insecurity, though? No, because I personally want my spouse
30:55
to be with me. If I'm going to be in a committed relationship, they're mine.
30:58
Insecurity means that you're scared that they're going to leave you for someone
31:01
else. Well, quite frankly, when they're with somebody else, they are with somebody else.
31:06
So insecurity would be a man that says, I want to swing.
31:09
But then when he sees you with someone else. Then he'll get jealous.
31:13
Then he shuts it down. Yeah. It's different to talk about than to actually do it. Do it. Right?
31:20
It's like when you have a spouse that cheats, you look at them and like,
31:22
what the heck were you thinking?
31:24
Because they didn't tell you, honestly, I'd want to respect that more than a
31:28
spouse that just cheats. That's about to just cheat on you. Yeah.
31:31
When they cheat, it's a betrayal of trust.
31:34
I don't do cheat. I don't know. I don't know.
31:37
Once a cheat, always going to be a cheat. You know, they do say that.
31:40
And I just, I can't even date men that have cheated. It's because of me.
31:44
But you open up for open relationship. I mean, a situationship.
31:47
I'm okay with the situation ship, but I want honesty. So if I'm going to date other people.
31:52
So let's say I'm in a situation ship. Going back to, sorry, circling back to the situation ship.
31:57
Let's say I'm in a situation ship. They say that they're taking someone else out. Right.
32:01
And they like, let's, and I'm honest. I'm like, if you decide to start dating
32:05
someone else, just let me know.
32:07
Okay. But let's say they date someone else for three to six months.
32:09
And then they come back and I say, we're kind of fizzling, but I want to take
32:13
you to, I don't know, your.
32:15
Yeah. And I say, okay, let's go. Okay.
32:17
As long as I know they're not in a relationship because I don't want to be the other woman.
32:22
Right, right, right. You know what I mean? And I don't want a man to be put
32:25
in the same position of being the other man.
32:27
I see. Because I would never cheat on someone, even in a situationship. Isn't that crazy? Yeah.
32:32
Even though it's not a committed relationship, I'm still not,
32:35
I'm going to be honest and say, you know what, maybe I'm dating two people.
32:40
And I let both of them know that I'm dating two people. Two people,
32:43
yeah. Because then you're honest. Mm-hmm. But if you're not honest... Mm-hmm.
32:49
And the other people don't know that's called, it's a betrayal of trust. That's true.
32:53
That's why an open marriage is better because you don't have the betrayal of
32:57
trust unless you're lying.
32:59
Like there are people that get into an open marriage and they say,
33:01
okay, I'm going to, we're going to have just casual sets.
33:05
But yet they're not just having casual sets. They're actually in a full-on relationship with someone else.
33:10
But don't you think there's human
33:11
nature though when they come along that honestly it's going to happen?
33:14
There are people that just want to go out there and sow some oats.
33:18
Yeah. You know, they've been married for 20 or 30 years, and they want to try something new.
33:23
So I'm not going to be judgy as long as you're clear and you're communicating
33:27
with your partner. With your partner, yeah.
33:29
If you're mature enough to have sex with someone else, you're mature enough
33:33
to have that conversation with both partners. Both partners. No, they both know.
33:37
They both accept it. And you don't want the person that you're in the situation
33:41
ship or the open relationship or the swinging, if you will, to not know about
33:46
your current relationship.
33:48
Yeah, but if they all are swingers, they all should know.
33:52
They should. Swingers will know. When they open relationships,
33:55
sometimes guys go pick up a woman in a bar, they don't tell them they're married.
33:58
Just think about all the disease.
34:00
Yeah, there's disease out there. Yeah, you know what I mean?
34:03
You know, this is the reason why I tell people everybody should get tested.
34:06
If you're sexually active, I think between every partner.
34:09
The other thing is one of our listeners brought up the idea of a threesome. Threesome.
34:14
Yeah, so you bring a person into a sexual encounter. I know men really want
34:18
threesomes. Yeah, for sure.
34:19
They do. It can be male, female, male, or female, male, female. Yeah.
34:25
And then it can be male, male, male, or female, female, female,
34:29
because that's a threesome too. Oh, yeah. It doesn't have to be the opposite
34:31
sex. People forget about that.
34:33
Mm-hmm. A lot of couples plus thirds on dating apps, I see that too.
34:37
Really? Where there's a couple that says, they have a picture of the couple,
34:41
and they say, we're just looking for someone to join us. Oh, wow.
34:45
And then there's singles that just get together. Yeah. That have a threesome.
34:48
So the reason why this person brought this up, he said, a lot of men want...
34:53
Two women on them now first of all men you're in your 50s and you can only last
34:57
a couple minutes you don't need three sides you don't need four hands the four hands massage.
35:03
Really honestly yeah because if you're only
35:06
lasting a couple minutes you're useless in a three-some heads up
35:09
the idea is is it's a pleasurable thing and he
35:14
said that what happens and what can happen often is
35:18
that if you have three people two women and a man okay
35:21
the man's done after we'll say 30 to 45 minutes if he's good if he's good well
35:27
like you said yeah just say it yeah the guy it could be somebody in their 40s
35:32
so maybe he'll last 30 45 minutes so okay he's but you know you're changing
35:36
positions you're doing different things but what happens.
35:40
This is probably getting a little too detailed but i don't care what happens
35:44
is the women in a threesome last a lot longer so they'll keep pleasuring each
35:50
other they realize after a while,
35:53
that the man's not even necessary yeah the man
35:56
is useless after a while because he's done after 10 minutes the
35:59
man is done after yeah the man is done after a certain amount of time yeah and
36:03
so the women they keep going i think there was a friends episode right yeah
36:07
no who was in it ross ross ross was married i believe yeah to his first wife
36:13
and his wife wanted to bring in another woman to spice up the relationship.
36:17
Well, yeah. I saw that episode, actually. Okay, go ahead. I saw that.
36:22
So he's the one just end up watching those two women. So they kicked him off
36:27
the bed. They kicked him off the bed. Yeah.
36:29
And they end up, the two women together. He lost his wife to the other woman.
36:33
Yeah, because the woman realized she was actually a lesbian.
36:35
That's why she wanted to have a woman in. A woman in.
36:38
He's like, men don't realize that if you've got two professional women and they
36:44
get together and they've never done it before, they're just doing it for you,
36:49
you may actually get kicked to the curb.
36:51
Get kicked to the curb. He said he's seen it over and over again with friends.
36:54
Oh, well. He said they want to bring in a partner or a threesome or even do swinging.
36:58
Uh-huh. He refuses because he keeps seeing people get divorced afterwards.
37:03
Oh, wow. Yeah. You know what? I've seen that happen. I guess maybe if you want
37:07
to do a threesome, don't do it when you're married.
37:11
Right. I mean, and don't do it with the person that you really want to stay
37:14
in a relationship with because you might lose the relationship.
37:17
For sure. Isn't that crazy? That is crazy.
37:20
And now let's go, but some men, if men want, they say your husband want to bring
37:25
the men into your threesome, they keep women to the craft too.
37:28
So men, men were in our deep time. There might be men that were gay. Yes.
37:33
That also, they get together with another man, they bring two men in. Yes.
37:37
And, yeah, they could be very, that men, they could be, the men is like happily
37:42
married, have kids, everything, and they bring another man in to have threesome.
37:47
Guess what? It's the same thing. He and I left his wife and stay with men. Yeah.
37:52
It's the same thing. It's the same thing. They say that another woman knows,
37:56
women knows each other's bodies better than men.
37:59
Yes. A woman can definitely pleasure another woman better than a man. Uh-huh.
38:03
Only if, though, you're not talking to your partner. This goes back to the whole
38:07
conversation we had a few podcasts ago.
38:10
Communication. Where you're communicating to your partner what you enjoy and
38:13
very verbal about what you like. Don't just moan and expect them to realize you like it.
38:17
Yeah. Tell them that feels really good or saying, I don't really like it that
38:21
rough or whatever. Right.
38:23
But let them learn your body because otherwise, if you bring a woman in and
38:27
she pleasures you more, you may not want a man in you.
38:30
That happens, it goes both ways. It does go both ways. Yeah.
38:33
So, yeah, be careful. If your husband come out, hey, I'm on a threesome,
38:38
you might want to look at your marriage. Yeah.
38:41
Don't you think? You need to definitely look at your marriage.
38:44
Now, I did have a friend, a guy friend, that told me he was in a threesome.
38:49
He's excluded, obviously. Yeah. He said he was, he did a threesome with the
38:54
girl that he was dating because she was into it. Okay. But the guys didn't.
38:58
Okay. So she was giving one guy a hug while she was doggie style,
39:01
basically, or whatever, whatever positions they were in.
39:04
But the guys didn't touch. The guys didn't kiss. The guys didn't touch. It was just sex.
39:10
And then there's orgies too. There's been people do orgies lately.
39:14
Orgies are bad. Oh, wow. Where you're having sex with multiple partners at a party. At a party. Yeah.
39:19
This is new. Orgies are back. Well, not like I've been doing them, so.
39:24
This is just from the world around town. This is just what I've been hearing.
39:28
There are people, and then some people do threesomes with prostitutes.
39:32
I hope they make sure that prostitutes are illegal. Well, that is illegal, right?
39:35
Right. So prostitution is illegal in every state that I know of,
39:38
except for certain parts of Nevada. In Nevada.
39:41
Yeah. They hire a prostitute, and they hire a prostitute for the night in order to have a threesome.
39:46
Okay. And then prostitutes go home. If you're doing a threesome,
39:49
you don't know this, but make sure you wear condoms. But the woman is less protected.
39:52
Remember that, women. You're not protected from another woman. Yeah.
39:56
You're being sexually transmitted disease from another woman.
39:59
Yeah, woman to woman. You could get it, too. I don't know.
40:02
I don't know about the threesome thing. It sounds exciting. I can just totally
40:06
see having a threesome with two guys and the guys getting mad at each other,
40:10
not liking what's going on, and having a fight in the middle of the threesome.
40:14
You think so? I just want four hands on you.
40:17
You want the four? Okay, that's called a massage.
40:20
You don't have to have sex with someone to get the forehands.
40:23
I have done forehand massages.
40:28
That is not threesome. That is not a threesome. Yeah. I can't.
40:32
Oh, Diva Cat, you're so funny.
40:35
This is a new thing to me.
40:38
It's so new to me. I know. I was miserably comfortable in my marriage for a long time.
40:43
You know, I wouldn't do it. Yeah, I think with the third person involved,
40:47
that's the end of it, don't you think? I am a one guy type of partner. Yeah.
40:52
I want one partner. I don't want them to. And if they are sleeping around, I want them to know.
40:59
Yeah. Especially after you've been cheated on. There's a level of,
41:03
I'm okay if they want to date someone else.
41:05
I just want to know so I can say no or yes. yeah depending on
41:08
how serious they are with the other person yeah in a
41:11
situation ship right i just want to know yeah that's the
41:14
thing i think the the betrayal of trust to me
41:17
is bigger than the actual intercourse is that
41:20
crazy no that's not crazy the violation
41:23
that a person goes through when they get cheated on is worse when
41:26
you get hurt physically it can heal fast mentally it
41:31
doesn't emotionally it takes time but that takes time but i'm okay with someone
41:35
being with someone else now i wasn't in my marriage and i don't think i would
41:39
be in a marriage in the future i don't want if i'm married to someone i don't
41:42
want an open relationship in a relate in a situation where we haven't fully
41:46
committed to the other person it's different but i think once you commit.
41:50
To me it's one-on-one but to other people it may not be and you know i'm not judging it's young,
41:55
everybody's different to me commit commitment relationship does consider us
42:00
a marriage yeah well there can be committed relationships that aren't married
42:03
yeah that you just decide that You don't want to get married.
42:07
Yeah. You just enjoy each other company. But if you say I'm exclusive, right?
42:11
Right. That's a committed relationship. Yeah. So if somebody cheats on that, it's cheating.
42:17
Now, if you say I'm exclusive with you, but I would like to have like casual sex.
42:22
To me, that's not exclusive. No, that's not exclusive. That's called cheating already. Yeah.
42:26
You know? So you have to defy the words. Yeah.
42:30
Like I say, back to communication, right? Yeah. You have to defy everything
42:33
very clearly. And even when you bring in a third person, there's a lot of jealousy.
42:40
Oh, yeah. There's a lot of jealousy. There could be arguments. There could be fights.
42:44
Once it starts, you can't pull it back. No. The memories will always be there.
42:49
Always. Yeah. What was the movie before Fifty Shades of Prey? Nine and a half weeks.
42:53
I didn't see that one. Nine and a half weeks. In nine and a half weeks.
42:57
So the guy has a lot of fetishes. Okay.
43:01
And it's actually a good movie. So for the older people that remember nine and
43:04
a half weeks, if not, you're going to watch it this weekend.
43:06
I'm going to watch it this weekend.
43:07
It's about, you know, there's a little bit of bondage. little handcuffs a little
43:11
bit of you know blindfolds things like that not as bad as
43:14
shades of gray he brings in a woman oh wow so
43:18
he brings in a woman so he he puts
43:21
a blindfold on her and they're in this relationship and they've been having
43:25
great sex and she's so into it she's gets turned on all the time just by thinking
43:29
about it oh but then he brings in a woman without asking her and she's blindfolded
43:34
and the woman starts feeling her first and then the woman And so she recognizes that it's not him.
43:41
Oh, wow. And she gets so upset because it's a violation of trust. Of trust. And leaves.
43:46
So he wanted to have a threesome, but he didn't approve it with her in advance.
43:51
And so some people aren't comfortable with other people too.
43:55
You know, you may be insecure with your body or not. Yeah, that's another thing I'm thinking, you know.
44:00
If you bring another threesome and the other girl nice and fit and I'm all loose
44:04
over here, what am I doing?
44:05
You know what I mean? Well, a lot of times when people do threesomes,
44:08
they will have approval rings.
44:10
You have to. So, like, the woman gets to approve whoever they partner up with. Okay.
44:17
Yeah. That makes sense. Or a couple of work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense.
44:20
And then men just realize you might lose your wife because she realizes she
44:24
gets more pleasure from the other woman. That's what I'm saying.
44:27
It's happened a lot. It does happen a lot. I think there was an episode on Sex
44:31
and the City like that. Yes.
44:32
Mm-hmm. So. She just take off with that woman. And there are a lot of people
44:36
that are still trying to figure out what they like.
44:39
Mm-hmm. Just because you're 40 years old doesn't mean... Doesn't mean, no.
44:43
You've figured it all out yet. And there's people that are bisexual that like both men and women.
44:47
So you may bring your partner in there like, wow, I get so much better,
44:52
but she still wants to have sex with you. So that's possible too.
44:55
Oh, that is... Just realize once you do it, your relationship has changed forever. Forever.
45:02
Yes. Yeah, and you have to be prepared for that. Once you start that, it never goes back.
45:07
It won't. It might spice it up, but it also might make it very awkward.
45:11
Upward and open up to your whole, like they said, open another whole new kind of world.
45:18
And honestly, if your marriage is in that big of shambles, try to, I would say, first.
45:24
Yeah. Try to rediscover each other. Right. Try to discover each other,
45:29
open up, talk to each other.
45:30
What can you do between just you two first, don't you think?
45:33
And then what happens if you have a threesome and you get the other woman pregnant?
45:36
Yeah. Yeah, that happens.
45:38
Hopefully you wear condoms. Well, I think condoms can break.
45:41
If anybody finds out about the threesome, there's that whole thing.
45:44
They're social emotional. And one of the big things, if you're both not 100%
45:49
committed to it, someone's either going to feel slighted or you're going to have regrets.
45:54
A lot of people regret bringing another person into their marriage or relationship.
45:59
Now, I think if you had it before and you still got married and we were in the
46:05
very beginning that we both enjoyed that, it'd be different. Yeah.
46:10
Yeah. But if you bring another person into a marriage, be careful.
46:14
Or even a relationship. It doesn't have to be in marriage.
46:17
Because you can destroy your relationship that way too. Yeah.
46:20
I think if you're in relationship or husband and wife, if you think you need
46:25
to bring the third party in, you have to talk to each other first. Now, here's the thing.
46:30
You do. You have to have a long conversation, maybe with a therapist.
46:33
So that you're both clear on boundaries.
46:36
Yeah, the boundary, that's a key. Yeah.
46:38
Because boundary turns to jealousy. It does. Jealousy turns to be help break loose, you know?
46:44
But let's say that you have an open marriage and you bring another,
46:48
you do a threesome, or you swing with another couple,
46:52
or you have, your wife is okay, your husband's okay with you creating another
46:58
relationship with another man. Okay.
47:00
And that whatever relationship, it goes south for whatever reason.
47:04
There's also a risk of blackmail. I didn't even think of that.
47:08
But there is a risk of blackmail because the social stigma of some people,
47:13
especially if you're in a high-powered position or if you're a politician.
47:18
I mean, that happens a lot. We see that.
47:20
Yeah, we see that. Or you're famous. Or even if you're just the town principal.
47:25
Yeah. there's always a risk that you
47:28
could be blackmailed based off of your sexual preference i
47:32
mean you could be blackmailed because you're you're into snm or
47:35
you're into you know you have a fetish as well realize
47:39
that if you're not married to the person and you're
47:42
doing something with someone else they potentially
47:45
blackmail you and if it's an employee i mean
47:48
that's another problem that's like a lawsuit
47:52
waiting to happen you know you think you're having just in a
47:54
sex or an affair but no what happens
47:57
when it goes south it will go south too so remember your
48:00
your checkbook and your finances when you just know it's
48:03
not just your kids it's also your financial well-being and
48:06
health how about stopper they become your spot yeah
48:09
just like uh yeah that other movie yeah yeah they
48:13
stop you but they don't want to give you up next thing
48:16
they don't attraction and like boils a bunny
48:19
and like put blood everywhere yeah that's a lot of things you have to think
48:23
about that's you think you're just gonna go pick somebody up at a bar yeah you
48:27
know have fun for the night doesn't happen that way even even a a stripper or
48:31
a prostitute could blackmail you oh yeah anybody could blackmail you so you
48:36
have to be careful with what you're doing.
48:39
Sexually yes i mean even hell hell let's let's be honest if you have sex with
48:45
just one person they could video it and share it that happens too it happens a lot it happens a lot
48:52
You know, Candela Anderson speaks for that. Even when you're married,
48:57
sometimes married partners will take stuff.
48:59
This is why I don't commence any dick pics or pictures of your partner parts, guys. Just saying.
49:06
No dick pics. If you ever wanted to get blackmail, there you go.
49:10
Yeah. Blackmail is an issue. And if you don't want to be paying for the next
49:13
30 years to somebody or giving them millions of dollars or whatever it is.
49:18
So just remember, sex is a serious business. It is serious business.
49:23
I actually know for fact, let's say you go on vacation in Cancun and you pick
49:28
up a third person and the third person got pregnant. Then what? It's come on you.
49:34
That's going to be a whole new issue. Let's say you have a child that you have
49:37
to raise. Yeah, you could have a child and it could really complicate your life.
49:42
So all we're saying is to communicate clearly, truly understand the pros and
49:48
the cons of what you're about to do. Yeah.
49:50
Really analyze the people you're about to do it with. For sure.
49:54
And don't just get drunk one night and have it happen.
49:57
Yeah. Because one drunk night can ruin your life. For sure.
50:01
And when you get divorced, if you do get divorced from it, I mean,
50:04
there goes half your stuff. Like from my perspective, I don't want to cheat
50:07
on a man because that's my character.
50:09
I'm right. I don't want to either give up half much shit either. You're young.
50:13
Things that you work for are so hard for. I know. Especially when you already have weight.
50:17
You're like, to me, at 50, you already have weight. You should be very successful.
50:21
So for me, maybe I'm not ready for marriage. Maybe I am in a situationship type mindset right now.
50:28
But here's the other thing. If I found the one and I was in a situationship and it grew into the one.
50:33
Okay. I would have no problem having a relationship with him and potentially
50:37
marriage in the future. Be not.
50:40
If you're going to get married, that's all I can say. Prenup!
50:44
Everyone should have a prenup over the age of 30, I think. And if you're wealthy
50:47
between 20 and 30, I think you'll have it too.
50:50
Yeah, prenups are important. And, you know, they stigmatize prenups as it's
50:53
just the woman going after, or the man wanting to protect his money.
50:57
No, it goes both ways. Yeah, it's a clear definition of asset.
51:01
There are prenups that state if you have an affair within the first five years, you mean nothing. Yes.
51:07
You know, I would have a prenup if you have an affair, period, you get nothing.
51:11
Yeah, never mind first five years, first five days, you know?
51:14
Yeah, first 50 years. Yeah.
51:16
Stay with me for 50 years, and then if you want to sleep around,
51:19
you can. Yeah, right? Yeah.
51:22
Go right ahead at 100. You can go ahead and sleep around then. Yeah.
51:25
Prenup is important. Yeah. Prenup is important. The prenup, you can define clear things, too.
51:30
And some people actually define open marriages in their prenups.
51:34
In their prenup. so that everyone's clear and defined
51:37
they make it a very analytical i'm going to have an
51:40
open relationship this is what i expect from you this is
51:43
what i'm going to do with i might have a separate partner over here
51:46
this is what i'm going to do with this other partner but you're my
51:49
wife or you're my husband yeah and you
51:52
could do that with the swinger with the three well and there
51:54
are marriages that are arranged in a way that people
51:57
are kept just for appearances there are
52:00
people that are gay that get married to
52:03
a partner and then their prenup it now
52:06
these are private prenups obviously right now remember every time you put something
52:10
in right you have to be careful too yeah these are private prenups and they
52:14
say i'm i want to have an appearance normal you know a typical traditional for
52:20
sure family so my kids are happy i want to have kids with this woman.
52:24
But on the side i'm gonna have a male partner over here yeah or mistresses,
52:29
Or mistresses, yes. Yeah. Because sometimes, you know, they say it's cheaper to keep her.
52:34
So if they agree that you could have mistress, the other side agree that you
52:38
could have boy toys, then put on the lighting. Exactly.
52:42
You know, I will say companionship for life is the most romantic thing. I think so, too.
52:47
I think if you can find your one and spend your whole life, even whatever age
52:52
you get married, if you can find that one person that just really completes
52:56
your soul, if you will, just makes you feel warm. all the time when you think about him.
53:00
That's the way to go. You complete me. You complete me. That was Jerry Maguire. Jerry Maguire, yeah.
53:06
I consider myself very lucky. He considered me like, you know, I've been around town.
53:10
He's been around town and we now together, just two of us, you know.
53:14
And you guys are adorable too.
53:15
Yeah. Kind of like my dad and his 14-day bride. 14-day bride. That scared me.
53:22
And I'm glad we didn't actually tell me in the beginning that it was only 14
53:26
days because I think I might have been a little judgy. I think most people would.
53:29
Now that I've seen them together for this long, 15 days, there's no problem.
53:33
No, love at the first sight.
53:35
Yeah, and they're so good together. And you said you could have more than one soulmate.
53:40
Yes, you can have more than one soulmate. And sometimes your first marriage
53:43
isn't your soulmate. Yeah.
53:45
Sometimes your second marriage isn't your soulmate. A soulmate is somebody you
53:48
think about even when they're not around, even in a situation you think about.
53:53
Even when you do threesome, I open up, oh, my mom's so much better.
53:58
Why would I need threesome? Yeah.
54:00
That could happen, too. That can happen. You have a threesome with someone. Yeah.
54:05
And then you say, oh, wait, I'm so much happier just with my spouse.
54:10
But the problem is, watch out, because your spouse might be happy.
54:12
I want to have more threesome. And then what? And then what? Exactly.
54:16
You know? Yeah, I know. We have covered a lot today. Yes.
54:21
We have opened your minds. Hopefully. Right. Don't be judgy of other people.
54:27
I know there's a lot of social stigma to open marriages, but honestly,
54:30
I think open marriage is actually better than people that are just sitting around having affairs.
54:34
I think so, too. You know, it's up to people and everybody's different and everybody
54:39
has their own wants and needs and desires.
54:42
Yeah. And hopefully they keep the diseases away and don't spread stuff.
54:46
But, you know, things have changed.
54:48
The key is don't spread stuff, you know?
54:51
Yeah, exactly. Well, let's wrap it up, and I hope everybody has a wonderful week. Yes.
54:58
And let us know. Give us a comment or shoot us an email.
55:02
Yeah, question. Q&A is on our website. Our email address is divas at the divadetails.com
55:08
if you want to have us address something on the air.
55:11
We're very open to different conversations about different things,
55:15
and we really don't hold back. Yes, we don't hold back.
55:19
Shoot us a question. All right, Diva. This is Diva Mia signing off.
55:23
Diva Cat signing off. Talk to you soon. Have a wonderful week.
55:28
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55:33
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