Latest / My Sister Wives Podcast / Sister Wives S6 E18 - Celebration Countdown - Part 2

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Sister Wives S6 E18 - Celebration Countdown - Part 2 · My Sister Wives Podcast

0:03
What does the nanny do? OK, so we're done.
0:08
Goodbye. You.
0:10
Shut it off do. Not twist my words.
0:14
Do not make me a victim, sweetie.
0:17
Just look at the mountain. That's what you shot that day.
0:22
You've been knife in the kidneys
0:29
sacrifices that I made to love you.
0:35
Welcome back everybody to this spooky special episode of My
0:43
Sister Wives Podcast Season 6 Episode 18 Celebration
0:49
Countdown. For those of you who have
0:53
forgotten already, we left off with the dresses being made from
1:03
will she, won't she? Will there be dresses?
1:07
Will they be stark naked? We still don't know, and now the
1:17
the ceremony. Nothing can go wrong, right?
1:20
Nothing can go wrong. Absolutely not on a second part
1:24
of a Halloween special, which of course it's not a Halloween
1:29
spooky and lame. So welcome back everybody.
1:32
This is five days before the commitment celebration and the
1:42
family coming together to rehearse by telling us we're
1:45
going to go through the different steps so that we are
1:53
and friendly sort of way. Because this presentation is all
2:01
commitment celebration. Now if you're thinking holy
2:03
shit, Christmas got that quote wrong, you would be wrong.
2:07
This is insane that we are look organized are the literal words
2:11
that came out of Robyn's mouth. She also talks about how this
2:16
presentation they wanted to come across as peaceful and friendly.
2:22
on. No, first of all, holy fucking
2:24
word salad Batman. Right.
2:25
Like what is even going on here?
2:28
Peaceful and friendly. I'm imagining things from when I
2:35
from another perspective. You're trying to get your kids
2:41
practice and I'm imagining words you would use or something along
2:50
something peaceful and friendly as a family.
2:55
What is the alternative to peaceful, angry, violent,
2:59
insane, and then friendly? What's the opposite of that?
3:03
Like enemies? Combatants.
3:04
Like these word choices? It is Robyn so let's take it
3:08
with a grain of salt, but I don't even get why peaceful and
3:12
friendly are words you would use to describe what your family
3:18
other family members. It's bizarre.
3:20
It's got the keep sweet vibes. The wording is odd.
3:25
They use strange words frequently when describing
3:29
things that no one else would describe something as that
3:34
they've done it with the Keep suite or what Do they tell
3:40
Christine to be cheery? Have a cheery disposition?
3:44
Things that other people just don't say often?
3:48
So yeah, they're pointed words. They're very odd.
3:53
I thought that she needed to go to hospital, that she'd perhaps
3:57
had a brain aneurysm and needed to go to hospital.
4:02
To emergency, emergency. Oh, I'm so sorry.
4:06
We don't need to go to hospital. We need to take her to
4:10
emergency. She's hit her head.
4:13
Oh gosh, It's like Rob. Yeah, Rob.
4:16
Oh God, Robyn. Oh God, Robyn.
4:18
It's weird trying to even read what she says because it's so
4:23
fucked up that you've trip over your own words because it's just
4:28
Sometimes I write it down like you did here because it's so
4:32
bizarre and people need to hear it, and other times I just don't
4:38
Yeah, because this is what the
4:42
I'm going to end up in emergency.
4:44
Yes. You know, the number of times
4:47
that I reround that sound bite
4:51
I was like closed captioning on listening over and over going,
4:56
is this really what she said? This one was special.
4:59
This one, she gave it to us for our Halloween special.
5:02
Well, I'm proud of you for going
5:06
her attempting to because I, I got lost.
5:10
I got lost. I don't understand why they put
5:13
her in charge. We get a lot of other disjointed
5:17
sentences from her because she's
5:21
this rehearsal. Yeah, she's allowed to speak.
5:23
Nobody knows why. Quite a bit.
5:25
It's just something, it's really
5:29
It's frightening. Someone allowed her to speak for
5:33
too long and she had a brain aneurysm.
5:35
She couldn't handle it. So while they're in the
5:37
backyard, Kody's telling the family that they'll need to
5:39
start pictures at 12:00. And that is pictures.
5:44
Friendly reminder for everyone
5:48
attitudes. Good.
5:51
I need everybody to be happy. These are going to be the best
5:56
pictures we hope to ever have had in our whole family's lives
6:00
together. OK, No pressure at all.
6:03
Like these are going to be the
6:07
and he's borderline hollering at
6:10
And we just started, so buckle
6:13
Yeah, he's really trying to stress how important these
6:16
photos are going to be. You have a large family of tons
6:21
of kids. Why put that pressure on that
6:24
day? Get pictures, of course, during
6:26
the ceremony, get a few, but why
6:31
photo day where that is what it's about when you have a
6:35
family this big? You've wrangled my two kids for
6:39
photos before. It's not easy with even 2.
6:44
I don't understand why put so much pressure on this one day
6:48
and then you're adding in a whole photo session on top of it
6:52
like a wedding. What you're saying does make
6:55
sense, and it actually didn't cross my mind to go, why are
6:58
they even trying to cram this in?
7:01
Part of me thinks it might be a production angle, right?
7:04
So the story producer on location is working with them to
7:06
make sure, let's make sure we have the footage that we need
7:09
to, you know, get this really happening.
7:11
But the thing that I don't get
7:14
reviewed at the first half of this episode is a lot of things.
7:17
I mean, there's so many things
7:20
The day is obviously chaotic when we wrap this episode.
7:23
The list is still very extensive.
7:25
So it's just bizarre that you would even try to do this just
7:29
in any fashion. It's so weird.
7:32
It's because they're cheap. They're renting suits for the
7:34
boys that day. They have to return them the
7:36
next day. They're just cheap and they're
7:38
going to try to get it all in at
7:41
They're going to try to do everything that they can.
7:43
And I'm not saying you don't take a family photo.
7:45
Everybody takes family photos the day of a wedding.
7:48
I get that. But with this large of a family
7:52
and knowing that there's going
7:55
kids just to even stand still during the ceremony, You don't
7:58
need to force them to stand still for a whole family photo
8:02
shoot and put this much pressure
8:04
Shit's going to hit the fan. Even when they reference at
8:08
another point that Kody doesn't have four different families,
8:11
he has one family. Well, when they take their
8:14
photos, it's like 4 families and
8:17
of them together. It is four or five times the
8:20
magnitude of a normal family photo session.
8:22
So these people are bananas. Really, they are.
8:26
Anyone who's taken family photos
8:29
large family photo session knows that this is doomed.
8:34
I'm just imagining this going horribly, horribly wrong, and we
8:40
find out a little bit in the next preview that I'm not wrong.
8:43
You are not wrong. You are not wrong.
8:45
I rarely ever have. Now, honey, this is also where
8:48
they talk about if Kody will keep his beard for the pictures.
8:53
And I at this point, you know,
8:56
didn't really care at all what's
9:01
So everybody, he starts voting
9:05
beard or not because these photos are going to be so
9:08
important. Kody is making it sound like
9:10
they're not going to have family
9:14
something. So of course the facial hair is
9:16
going to come into question. He has a full beard right now
9:21
during the filming of the rehearsal.
9:24
So they're all trying to tell him what they think he should do
9:32
off. It's patchy as fuck.
9:34
It's not a full grown beard. On the sides.
9:37
You can tell where he's kept his
9:42
trimmed it to match the rest of the facial hair.
9:46
So instead of trimming the flavor saver down to the length
9:50
of the shorter part that's been growing in, it's like puffy and
9:55
large and then short. So no, don't keep that.
9:59
You look like a fool. Yeah, and he gets defensive.
10:04
He says it's my face. I'll decide what to do with it.
10:08
I'll decide that day. How about that?
10:12
And he does his Kody thing where
10:15
and says I'll decide that day.
10:18
Cut yourself shaving the day of these very important photos
10:21
because you decided to stick your feet in the mud and shave
10:24
that day. Whatever this guy.
10:26
Yeah, I know. And it's like, didn't he know
10:29
years in the future we would be recording our Halloween themed
10:32
episode during this time and he might have a little candy corn
10:35
in there. He might have, you know, a
10:36
little bit of chocolate left in that flavor saver.
10:39
Certainly no taste from Robyn.
10:42
Robyn the vanilla Tootsie Roll.
10:44
Oh. God yes, Robyn's the one that
10:46
you give to your siblings because you're like, I don't
10:48
fucking care, I don't want this candy.
10:49
The whole family migrates to the front of Robyn's house because
10:56
backyard. So everyone's all lined up ready
11:00
non ceremony ceremonial entrance into Robyn's newly
11:03
landscaped backyard. They all enter and the kids are
11:06
lining up under a pergola in a straight line.
11:08
The parents talk about how challenging it is to keep the
11:12
kids paying attention in a scenario like this.
11:15
Over this footage, there's voice overs talking about, you know,
11:23
like torment each other and Janelle starts to lose her cool.
11:29
I want to talk about this pergola.
11:31
It is like what you would see in
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Like the government paid $300,000 for it.
11:37
It is massive. Honestly, if I was one of the
11:40
other sister wives, I would be
11:43
I would be like, you have this
11:46
entire yard is now full of grass, You have this beautiful
11:49
landscaping, all these tiny little trees.
11:51
They're going to plant a literal
11:54
Her backyard looks like they spent money on this fucking yard
11:58
and I would have been pissed. I'm starting to see why they
12:01
chose to do it in the backyard
12:04
a venue. Because Robyn wanted it spent on
12:06
her backyard. So instead of spending the money
12:09
on the venue, why not spend it
12:14
pretend and use it as a front for Oh yeah because of the
12:19
ceremony. It's another way for her to get
12:22
something she wants done. And if I remember correctly,
12:24
when they were moving into the
12:27
beforehand, she has that giant
12:31
because she wanted to have a big
12:33
gather. During this episode, I didn't
12:35
notice if there was anything done with that space.
12:38
I don't recall footage of that particular blueprint or that
12:41
area of the yard. But I'm just going, wow, this
12:45
bitch really gets I, I just, I don't know.
12:49
I bet Meri is fuming. Yeah, the pergola isn't even
12:54
just one of those prefab ones that are still pretty expensive
12:59
from somewhere, it's handcrafted.
13:01
Yeah, handcrafted and huge. I want to say 30 feet from side
13:06
to side without supporting beams in the middle.
13:09
Like we're talking literally what a municipality would pay a
13:13
contractor to go in and custom build for public gatherings in
13:19
And I was looking at it, I'm going like, is it a pergola?
13:22
And it is a pergola because on top of it there's that WAVY
13:26
plastic shit that you put above things so that it provides shade
13:33
And it is definitely A at the time even like a $10,000 pergola
13:46
I think you're on to something there.
13:49
So back to Janelle losing her cool because this, this was a
13:53
beautiful moment. The boys are, you know, they're
13:56
picking on each other. They're doing whatever they're
13:59
a scene and people are trying to get in line.
14:01
The adults are trying to start. You know, we're in the
14:04
rehearsal. We're in the rehearsal and
14:06
they're picking on each other. And Janelle goes, you boys are
14:13
This is ridiculous, knock it off.
14:16
And I was like Oh my God. We finally get Janelle emoting
14:22
We've seen her yell pretty good at the kids a few times I think,
14:29
time yelling at the kids, but I feel like this may be the most
14:36
boys had that fight, she kind of, you know, she reprimands
14:39
them, but I just was like, holy fucking shit, she is pissed.
14:43
Like she is upset now. I shouldn't say upset.
14:46
Everyone feels a bit on edge. It's like everyone knows what's
14:50
going to happen and it's totally that family thing where
14:53
everyone's patience is already worn out and they haven't even
14:58
Sure. You can tell that they're all
15:00
stressed, and I think that they even say at one point that it's
15:04
really hot outside. Oh, God.
15:06
So I think that probably has a lot to do with it, too.
15:09
She seems like someone that's very affected by heat, so I can
15:12
picture her just wanting to get this over with as quickly as
15:15
fucking possible and get back in her air conditioned home.
15:19
Yeah, I really think that it was driven by the heat for her.
15:24
They are in Vegas too, and this is always a thing.
15:26
Like it's hot, it is hot. And I do think you're right.
15:29
I think Janelle likes her air conditioning.
15:31
Some people get nuts when they get hot, and I can tell by the
15:40
Yeah. The next thing they're going to
15:43
rehearse is reading the mission statement and having everyone
15:45
sign the copies and Maddie chimes in.
15:48
We have not heard from Maddie for a hot second.
15:50
I always like when Maddie comes back because I'm going, oh,
15:53
Maddie, that's right, you're part of this family.
15:55
She gets out of several episodes.
15:57
I think it's because of her age and her activities.
15:59
I'm sure it's kind of like Hunter.
16:01
Like we don't get Maddie and Hunter every episode.
16:03
We do get more Aspen and more Leon, but that's going to change
16:09
Thank God. And Maddie pipes up and asks
16:11
what if we don't agree with our mission statement?
16:14
I love, I love it so much. Such a teenager thing to do.
16:22
Just question to question. Yes, for the sake of
16:26
questioning. And now I think we need to have
16:29
a little bit of a non dramatic, dramatic reading of what is said
16:39
forth here honey, OK? Immediately after Maddie asks
16:42
this question about not agreeing with the mission statement, Kody
16:48
Really, Maddie? And Kody says if you don't agree
16:54
Anybody who disagrees with this mission statement, there's a
16:58
pause. Robyn cuts in, then they better
17:01
move out. And after a brief pause, Kody
17:05
says hates America. It's like, Oh my God, this just
17:10
quickly turns into insanity. Insanity.
17:12
There is a teenager making a smart ass comment.
17:16
We all know this. And they're responding with
17:19
better move up, Robyn, better move out.
17:21
And Kody says hates America. Yeah, now Kody's definitely
17:26
being sarcastic, but Robyn, I don't know.
17:30
Because then she says this is our life, this is our life.
17:37
Like lady, take a chill Bill, calm down and.
17:44
On top of. That, yeah.
17:47
I love when Robyn has any moments on the show, like the
17:50
one when she was like, this is not the America I learned about.
17:57
She wears these ball caps. It's like her she's either has
18:00
her business casual hair, it's
18:03
And she looks like she's, you know, running a board meeting at
18:06
my sister wife's closet headquarter or she's wearing
18:09
like a ball cap and looks like
18:11
It's like, bitch, what are you
18:12
And so whenever there's these candid moments where she's
18:15
losing it emotionally, yelling
18:18
ball cap and it just makes her
18:21
Like it's like, bitch, Oh my God, what are you doing?
18:24
Yeah, I'm fairly certain she was
18:26
What would you say to your kids?
18:28
That they better move out? You're moving out if you don't
18:38
obviously smart ass teenage comet.
18:40
I just, and it seemed to come out of nowhere.
18:42
It was just like girl, like obviously everyone's a little on
18:48
She was very offended that anyone would even question it
18:51
because they've been working their asses off on this since
18:54
they met the Dargers, so how dare you?
18:57
Oh. The Dargers, Robyn and Kody have
19:10
and it's like Oh my God. All of this over a sarcastic
19:15
stoned teenager response every time.
19:17
Also when they show Maddie unless she's on the couch and
19:19
even sometimes when she's on the couch ever since you mentioned
19:24
She looks high. She looks stoned, yeah.
19:27
Is she OK? Sometimes people just look like
19:29
that. But literally it also sounds
19:31
like a Stoner moment. Like what are we going to do if
19:33
we don't agree with the missions?
19:34
That's like, it's just, it's ridiculous.
19:37
One of those things that you say and then regret saying, 'cause
19:47
Yeah, can't be stoned. You'd think you'd know better by
19:53
Browns, Oh my gosh, stoned around the Browns.
19:55
What an experience. Celestial Kingdom?
19:58
Like what? There.
20:01
I want to go there man. We do get the grown-ups on the
20:10
should have a choice. They shouldn't have a choice in
20:13
this, especially not in front of a bunch of other people.
20:16
And Janelle says that she agrees with Robyn.
20:19
She agrees with free speech and free choices, but she actually
20:26
this moment on this matter. Even if it's only for
20:30
appearance, they should just sign it.
20:32
And it's funny because between Robyn saying this and Janelle
20:35
agreeing, Kody has a little bit of a tangent.
20:38
Have a rebuttal about some overinflated freedom alignment.
20:40
Because you know how Kody is?
20:42
He's got to be like, oh God, freedom, freedom, choice,
20:44
choice. And sometimes we agree and other
20:47
times it's like this is all over.
20:49
Signing fake canvases or whatever.
20:52
They fucking get made their name
20:54
this is just ridiculous. It is kind of funny to see
20:58
Janelle agreeing with Robyn because we don't see that very
21:00
often. And it was interesting to hear
21:01
from Janelle. Like even if it's just for
21:03
appearance sake and I agree with
21:05
me an option. They'd be like, you're going to
21:07
sign this shit. So he says that people associate
21:10
their religion with coercion, so
21:14
anything. So that's kind of his reasoning
21:18
behind it. People already think that we
21:19
coerce our kids into doing stuff
21:24
children into, you know, got types of things like let's not
21:31
make them sign anything because we don't even want to course
21:33
our kids to do that. So I, I kind of see where he's
21:38
coming from there. You know, he wants it to be very
21:40
well known that he would never
21:43
don't want to do. And he's not wrong there.
21:47
I think that the whole thing was
21:50
We even get the older kids on a couch moment.
21:53
The other kids are kind of giving her shit.
21:55
Why would you even say that? And Maddie says that she's going
21:59
to sign it. She just likes pushing Robyn's
22:01
buttons. Yeah.
22:03
So this whole thing, this whole thing is just Maddie fucking
22:08
with Robyn. I love it.
22:09
Meanwhile, Kody's worried about people thinking they're
22:12
coercing their children into horrible things because of
22:15
their religion. Now it's a whole whole thing
22:19
that didn't need to happen, all because of Maddie being a smart
22:21
ass. And I feel like maybe coercion
22:24
was one of Robyn's last names that she got removed during her
22:26
credit work. I'm not sure.
22:27
I don't, you know, I, my memory,
22:30
stoned all the time. So I, my memory is a little
22:32
hazy. And Hunter also chimes in at
22:36
this, you know, teenager couch
22:38
And he says the family mission
22:41
the parents than to the kids. Honestly, I just have to say it
22:44
because I always love hearing from Hunter.
22:46
This is a Hunter Stand podcast.
22:47
And I was like, oh, Hunter's here.
22:49
It's kind of like Maddie. I got a little whiplash.
22:52
Yes. And Aspen says that she agrees
22:57
this whole thing than necessary. And it's like, here is our voice
23:05
this entire family, along with Logan, is Aspen.
23:08
Leave it to Aspen. I feel like Aspen and Logan are
23:12
the parents that the other children deserved.
23:15
Yes, and it just becomes more and more apparent as it goes on.
23:22
them, so I guess that they got
23:25
But All in all, they just really
23:30
should have had. Unfortunately, the youngest ones
23:33
got to miss out on that, so, you
23:36
middle kids that yeah. Oh God.
23:39
That really benefited, yeah, probably.
23:43
Then everyone starts planning out the steps to reading the
23:45
mission statement and signing it.
23:47
Then Kody tells us they're planning on giving all of the
23:51
children a piece of jewelry. Jewelry.
23:57
What? Is that Canon?
24:02
And D starts playing and everyone's going to get jewelry.
24:05
And I was stunned, stunned. I was shocked that the Brown
24:09
family would give everyone a piece of jewelry.
24:11
It just, I thought, wow, I stunned, see these people, but
24:15
they're fucking jewelry. So it's going to be a family
24:18
Crest of sorts. They describe it as a small
24:22
fortune, probably another kids
24:26
in jewelry costs, especially with how expensive this jewelry
24:31
is that they make. Oh my God.
24:36
We got a pergola, we got jewelry.
24:39
We could have had an entire kids
24:43
the cost of this channel. Oh my gosh, You know, it's funny
24:45
because yes. And then the photographer and
24:47
then the list we're going to get
24:49
what's still left to do the activities we see still
24:53
happening in the second-half of this episode.
24:55
There is money being spent on this.
24:58
Like literal money. Now I'm even regretting that I
25:01
said the party planner needed more than 45 days for this
25:04
because I'm thinking about the
25:05
And if you're thinking about an event planner and looking at
25:08
that kind of budget, you're probably like, well, the math is
25:10
that this would probably take more like 3 months at least or
25:13
something. So I I don't even know.
25:15
They just got out of paying the event planner for more months
25:18
and got one at the very end and had her do a bunch of work in a
25:22
short time. And with the jewelry
25:24
whatnotness, usher's in this moment of the parents talking
25:28
about being an out polygamous family and its significance and
25:31
importance and how wearing the
25:36
cheap, excuse me, expensive, tacky jewelry is huge for plural
25:43
families. And Christine even jokes about
25:45
polygamy pride. So I guess it's a signifier that
25:49
they're all one big creepy family and they've got to all
25:52
wear the same jewelry. You hit the nail on the head
25:54
there. It's creepy.
25:56
It's like you're marrying your
25:59
ceremony and then you're giving them all jewelry to wear.
26:02
It's like creepy as fuck to me
26:06
We find out that they're also going to be doing a sand
26:09
ceremony with just the moms. So not only are we exchanging
26:15
jewelry, we're doing a sand ceremony, which they do at
26:19
weddings a lot, and it's just wedding shit on top of wedding
26:24
shit. Every single corny ass wedding
26:27
trope possible. They're reading vows essentially
26:30
with this statement. They're exchanging jewelry,
26:34
they're signing the document, they're doing a sand ceremony.
26:38
But then wait, they're going to plant a tree too.
26:43
They're doing every trope under the sun here of a wedding, but
26:48
they don't want it to be wedding
26:50
Let's get our kids in on this.
26:52
and give them jewelry too. And all of the other things, the
26:56
photos, the the food, the things
26:59
do to the backyard to make an event ready.
27:01
Not only just the landscaping shit, but we find out later too.
27:04
There's all of the rental equipment and all of the things,
27:06
the tables, the chairs. This is for all intents and
27:09
purposes, a wedding. It's just no one's getting
27:12
fucking married. For the fact that they keep
27:14
saying repeatedly they wanted as
27:18
possible. You couldn't get closer to it.
27:21
You're doing it. You're doing a fucking wedding.
27:24
Would you just admit it? Yeah, just admit it.
27:26
Just admit it. Come clean, Robyn.
27:28
Admit something for once in your
27:31
OK? Now brace yourself everyone.
27:33
I'm going to feel some feels here in a positive way about
27:37
Leon. Leon of all people, Leon's on
27:42
the couch with the teens and shares something that I think is
27:45
great. I understand loving your family
27:48
and wanting to show people how
27:52
no one has parties to say here, look at my family.
27:57
Look at how much we love each other.
27:59
Like everyone knows we love each
28:02
I don't know. It's their choice.
28:04
And I'm like, Oh my God, this is
28:07
Throws a party to say we love each other.
28:09
It's just absurd. And Leon's understanding and,
28:14
you know, sarcastic delivery of this is just on point.
28:17
And I, you know, we don't sing
28:20
show, but I would be saying the same thing, like, why are we
28:22
doing it like this? Why is this happening?
28:24
Who else is throwing parties saying we love each other?
28:27
I mean, it's just weird. It reeks of a cover up.
28:30
It reeks of the couple that posts too much on Instagram, not
28:35
how much they love each other.
28:39
too much. I don't even know.
28:40
You guys are overdoing it. You're overcompensating.
28:44
Totally, totally. And Leon, this could have kept
28:47
you going to Westminster longer than you do.
28:50
I think if they wouldn't have done this, maybe you should have
28:54
protested a little more. Maybe you would have been a
28:57
doctor. I don't know.
29:01
Leon's just seeing dollar signs,
29:05
back to the conversation where
29:07
have any money for you. We don't think that we can send
29:11
you to school there. I don't know.
29:13
You're going to have to work a
29:18
year at least. I don't know how you're going to
29:20
do that, but you better figure
29:22
Out and we're going to send you off with some jewelry that.
29:27
That was costs you the same amount as the car we just bought
29:32
you. Oh, ridiculous.
29:34
And the jewelry is like the size
29:37
front of your car, too, Lee. Absolutely, you can use it for a
29:40
replacement part for your vehicle.
29:42
Then we get more footage of the adults trying to make
29:45
decisions, more footage of the kids not listening, more
29:48
footage of the adults escalating their voices to get everyone
29:52
to care. Well let me rephrase that to get
29:58
of a large family trying to do this shit with parents that
30:01
can't even coordinate themselves.
30:02
We see this family constantly. They can't start or finish
30:06
anything. It's insane.
30:07
I I know I've said insane so many times it's just mind
30:11
boggling. Kody points at one point to
30:12
Robyn and he's yelling to the kids.
30:14
Listen to Robyn and he has a massive pit stain.
30:19
He's shaking his finger and pointing at everyone to look and
30:26
Yeah, not as bad as when he climbed those steps at
30:30
Chichanita and his butt was sweating that.
30:33
Swamp ass was out of control. Oh no.
30:37
Yeah. And he's wearing like this light
30:43
Uh huh. And Kody, you know, he's got a
30:57
Do not smart off to me because I haven't got the patience for it.
31:04
Kody's losing it. Kody's losing it.
31:07
They splice in a moment from Aspen where she says the parents
31:11
are getting irritated by the kids and not behaving, and they
31:15
may have said some things they
31:18
She smiles and tilts her end to the side.
31:20
And it's so good. Like Aspen is so kosher.
31:23
She's always doing the right thing.
31:25
And then the camera goes back to
31:28
correct any of you during that
31:32
You'll not be able to dance with
31:34
You'll be kicked out of the family.
31:37
And then there's a pause and everyone kind of starts laughing
31:41
and like, awkwardly, like, oh,
31:45
He surely wouldn't kick us out
31:47
He must be being ridiculous. We're literally here at a
31:51
ceremony to sign a piece of paper as a family about how much
31:55
we love each other, yet you're
31:59
behave. Make it make sense.
32:01
Yeah, Robyn's like, you can move
32:04
of the family and they're like, here to celebrate their love.
32:08
That's just fake, being so happy
32:11
and if you guys embarrass us the day of, all for show.
32:15
Yeah, we get some interviews, some back and forth, some sound
32:18
bites of everyone talking about how horribly the practice went
32:22
and how they hope the day of is a different experience.
32:26
Hunter actually says he thinks
32:29
I was like, see, this is the thing.
32:30
The older kids. I mean, I shouldn't say the
32:32
older kids, some of their kids
32:35
people. I think Hunter's a good person.
32:37
I think Aspen's a good person.
32:40
He's literally saying I think it's going to be fun.
32:43
I don't know that there's many
32:46
he is, 1617 year olds that are
32:49
Like he's literally looking on
32:53
Right. Most kids at that age would be
32:54
embarrassed and wouldn't want to
32:57
so they did something right. A few of these kids seem to be
33:03
decent people. Yeah, as you said, at least
33:07
Logan and Aspen did something right.
33:10
Yes, we get some more spooky music and find out that now it's
33:16
only four days until the celebration.
33:20
Janelle is having her dress worked on by Sam, and her dress
33:24
is actually looking really good,
33:29
not close to being ready, and you can tell hers is the
33:33
furthest along. So they're showing us the good
33:36
before the bad and then the ugly.
33:42
Yeah. Janelle acknowledges that
33:45
they're cutting things down to
33:48
are. Christine and Meri come over as
33:51
they walk in. Christine says Janelle's dress
33:53
looks great. She's like, Oh my gosh, it looks
33:55
so good. This is exactly what I
33:56
envisioned for you. It makes your eyes pop.
33:58
And I love a blonde in a blue.
34:01
It's very Ramona blue. For anybody who watches
34:03
Housewives, it works. Yeah, there's unfinished hams
34:07
and strings and things, but it
34:10
Next we go to Robyn's house and Robyn is showing us the
34:15
commitment celebration. Family jewelry men are getting
34:20
this gigantic ass leather cuff
34:25
it like he man bracelets. And Robyn is talking about how
34:31
her whole life has been building
34:36
of this type of a plural family.
34:39
She's 35 and ever since she was little she just knew her life
34:44
was building up to a moment like this.
34:47
I don't know about you, but all I could do was stare at the
34:53
table in front of her and ask myself, what the fuck was this
34:59
I barely could listen to what she was saying.
35:03
She's trying to give us some sob shit about her family story and
35:07
the moment building up to this and being part of this plural
35:12
family and she mentions that she's 35 and it's finally coming
35:21
on the table in front of her. There's these cuffs that are
35:25
going to be for the boys and then some apparently jewelry for
35:31
We didn't, she didn't even talk about that.
35:33
She just pointed out that the cuffs are for the boys.
35:35
And then there's this emblem on it, or this design that is the
35:41
And as you said before, these people are so fucking literal.
35:48
It is just pathetic. Yeah, the bracelets, there's
35:51
like skinny, skinny leather bracelets that must be for the
35:59
There's multiple different types of the jewelry, all with this
36:05
silver gigantic ass tree of life.
36:08
They're all hideous. They're all something that a
36:12
teenager would never wear, a child would never wear.
36:15
They're going to be too big on most of the children.
36:18
They're probably only going to fit the teenagers right now.
36:21
She's just so proud of it. I don't know why she only shows
36:25
us the he man cuffs for the older boys but she starts trying
36:34
that she designed in front of her.
36:36
I was distracted at one point because she had tears in her
36:39
eyes talking about this whole sob story, This, Oh, my life is
36:42
coming to this moment. And that's what the
36:44
celebration's about. I don't remember the things she
36:46
was actually saying because I was distracted by the sign
36:49
behind her that said my sister
36:53
forged signature repository location.
36:55
And I was like, yes, forged signature repository location.
37:00
Robyn, you know, she's just working it and she gets away
37:03
with it, that bitch. Oh my goodness.
37:07
Next we get to go to Christine's
37:11
doing to help us prepare for this celebration ceremony.
37:15
Tree of life planting shindig in
37:21
God, she is dying. Sand.
37:23
For the sand ceremony. She's going to make unique
37:26
colors of sand for each wife. So they're literally just
37:32
zooming in on her with these bowls of sand and she's dropping
37:37
dye in and mixing the sand while
37:43
talking about how she just wants
37:47
wives. She just wants to be like
37:48
friends with them and Oh my God,
37:54
of sand crinkling directly into her fucking microphone.
37:59
This entire bit. So as I was distracted by the
38:04
ugly ass jewelry at Robbins House, now I'm distracted by
38:09
noises that her mic is picking
38:12
Yeah, what the fuck is up with
38:15
Well, you weren't leaning into
38:19
know, vibes that was going on at
38:23
If it would have been that, then
38:25
Right. I mean, I love this whole like I
38:27
bought white sand and I'm dying it because my sister wives
38:30
wanted specific colors and I wanted to make sure that they
38:33
got what they wanted. And it's like this is what we're
38:36
leaving in. I mean, OK, I mean just just
38:40
this family. I don't.
38:42
I don't even. Meanwhile all we're hearing is
38:43
the bags, that she's opening each one and dumping it into the
38:52
little bowls, and then she's cheering around the sandy bowl
38:57
with a spoon and mixing in the
39:00
And they could have just done without the clip.
39:02
We didn't need to know that she dyed the sand by hand because
39:06
she loves them so much. The bit was so awful.
39:10
The sound was so awful. Why not just cut it?
39:13
Scrap it. Yeah, Oh my gosh.
39:16
And I was also wondering, I don't know, but I'm going.
39:21
Is this a little late for the whole sand pouring trend?
39:25
You know, I know I'm, I'm taking
39:28
Oh, people are still doing. OK, OK, because I was going to
39:31
say, now I'm in this Halloween
39:34
I'm in danger. I'm in danger.
39:35
I'm Jamie Lee Curtis. Right now.
39:37
When someone's coming after me
39:40
this? Is this still a thing?
39:41
And it is. It's still a thing.
39:43
I think the last two weddings I was at, in fact, probably did
39:47
it. OK, I'm not going to lie and a
39:50
lot of my friends have done this
39:52
this. I just think it's corny as
39:54
fucking overdone and at this point needs to be done.
39:59
There are so many more unique things that you can do.
40:02
And to be frank, no one wants to
40:05
It's like it sits on a shelf in your house.
40:07
And is it a visual reminder that
40:11
someone? I mean, I just, I don't.
40:14
Eventually it gets dropped and broken and then your marriage is
40:19
So you're putting a curse on yourself.
40:20
As far as I'm concerned, you're a witch mixing up sand colors.
40:31
You're performing a spell at your wedding.
40:33
Oh my gosh, stop. And Christine, she is the third
40:36
wife in a polygamist family, and she's putting a spell on her
40:42
And I always think too, I think
40:45
about a move and I go, what if
40:49
all the sands all together? Like, do you move it like it's a
40:52
frappe egg? Do you have to put it in the car
40:54
with you when you're moving across the country?
40:56
Can it even move at all? Like, I I don't know, maybe I'm
41:00
needing too much into it. Yeah.
41:01
I mean, you know, seriously. Like, I don't know, I, I get it
41:04
that some of the bits of sand connect, right.
41:07
And I think Robyn even has a little spiel or someone does
41:09
about how the grains of sand connect.
41:12
And so, you know, there's always
41:14
my color and Robyn's like, I trust me, I need some of your
41:18
flavor inside of me because I ain't got no flavor.
41:20
So there's these combinations of
41:23
and I'm going Oh my God, I'm so glad I'm gay and that I would
41:27
never do anything like this. The whole point is you could
41:30
never sort out every grain of sand.
41:32
Once you're mixed together your souls and whatever combined and
41:36
you're mixing like the sand bitch.
41:39
If I wanted to be free of somebody, I would sit my ass
41:41
down with tweezers and binoculars and I would sort that
41:44
shit out. Binoculars at the table with
41:48
binoculars. Not even a microscope.
41:51
Binoculars, bitch. That's so good, That's so good.
41:56
Official apologies if we offended you during that little
41:59
bit, you know, take it up with
42:01
Be more unique, How about that?
42:04
For the rest of this episode, we do have quite a few back and
42:08
forth between things happening and Sam, so we probably won't
42:11
get into too many details about where they are or whatever.
42:14
There's a lot of Sam pinning things on people, Sam making the
42:21
up in the same jeans and the same vest that's going to burst
42:24
open at any moment. No, no.
42:26
To be fair, she does have a variety of vests, but the jeans
42:29
make multiple appearances. Her her general appearance
42:32
doesn't change much. It just gets equally as weird
42:35
and strange and spooky. The whole vibe here the
42:40
producers are trying to create is inducing anxiety on us, like
42:45
they're trying to induce our anxiety by going back and forth
42:50
between dressmaking and other things that need to be finished
42:54
to get the ceremony ready within the next three days now
42:58
so. Yeah, the splicing is quick, the
43:02
back and forth is quick, the updates are quick.
43:04
I totally agree with you. And as I was saying, Sam is back
43:08
and she's pinning Robyn's dress pieces on her.
43:11
Robyn is nervous about it not turning out.
43:13
Of course, I don't care about any other details.
43:16
Did you care about any other details about Robyn getting her
43:18
fucking dress pinned on her? No, she's just worried she's not
43:21
going to like it and I hope she doesn't.
43:24
Christine says that she can tell
43:28
face that she is not happy with it thus far.
43:32
And now we're moving to three days before the ceremony.
43:36
We're bursting through time to
43:40
And Kody's meeting with Bree? A reminder.
43:42
Bree is their event planner in
43:44
To tell her about his bright idea, he's going to connect 3
43:51
lines or strings of lights from each house to a center point in
43:56
the middle of the cul-de-sac. So a reminder for anyone who's
43:59
new to this podcast, there are
44:02
around the cul-de-sac. His goal, his plan, what he
44:05
would like to do is have 3 strands of twinkle lights coming
44:09
from each house to meet in the
44:12
above them, above the road. And so he's pulling out this
44:16
tall ladder, a very tall ladder from the garage and get started
44:20
with his big, beautiful, bright,
44:24
He got a somewhat large metal ring to put in the middle and
44:27
have all the string lights attached to it via some long
44:30
cables. So at least he's being smart
44:32
enough to not just try to adhere
44:35
other. Because honestly, that might be
44:37
where I started. And then been like, shit, this
44:39
isn't going to work. So at least he had, you know,
44:41
that forethought. Yeah, he's engineering this
44:44
contraption, this lighting contraption.
44:47
It makes sense. He must have gotten this idea or
44:49
seen it somewhere, because I've seen this done places before.
44:53
It's a tension thing. So he's going to connect the
44:57
lights to the circle and create tension, and the circle holds
45:01
them all together and it'll be
45:03
the cul-de-sac. So he did something smart.
45:07
I don't think it was his idea.
45:11
but we'll give him a little credit.
45:13
I guess In theory it should be
45:17
I mean, I wouldn't be mad at these dresses, but I wouldn't be
45:20
mad at doing some sort of alternative to that in an
45:23
environment that, you know, I don't think I would ever be
45:25
connecting 4 houses at a cul-de-sac, but in some other
45:27
way. Like I would rock that kind of
45:29
shit in my backyard I'd be all
45:30
It I was just going to say I'd
45:33
and then I no, I don't want to
45:35
Yeah, yeah. Safety hazard.
45:37
Not a good idea. Of course, Kody thinks his job,
45:40
of all of the remaining jobs that everyone is in charge of,
45:43
is the biggest. All the jokes that could be told
45:48
about Kody thinking his is the
45:50
But you know, I think they just kind of tell themselves.
45:54
We cut to Meri meeting with Sam to work on her dress and this
45:58
dress. If Meri wants to win something,
46:01
she's going to win the award for
46:04
seen in a hot minute. Maybe since we saw Robyn in that
46:08
the Part 1 of the tell all where
46:12
That was almost as bad as Meri's.
46:14
Meri's dress beats that chin. It really does.
46:16
Like Meri's dress is disgusting.
46:18
It's horrible. Sam says that the waist is not
46:24
cannot get the material to lay nice on the waist.
46:28
She proceeds to say that the material is really only meant
46:32
for upholstering and cheap Halloween costumes.
46:35
She says this in front of Meri with vitriol.
46:41
Sam is losing it. She's pissed, she's frustrated.
46:46
She's showing her frustration in
46:49
front of the client. She is being so unprofessional.
46:53
It's embarrassing. Well, the first thing I thought
46:56
was OK, so let's describe this
46:58
It's like a puke green with like
47:03
I don't even fucking know. It was a hideous color.
47:06
A metallic Goldie Rust bronze mix.
47:11
And it has like a Sheen to it, a
47:15
like something you would upholster a boat seat in in like
47:18
the 70s or something. And I agree, cheap Halloween
47:23
something. And Sam's saying, you know, we
47:24
got to find a way to make it work.
47:26
And she is getting frustrated.
47:29
know how you couldn't. I mean, this thing is fucking
47:32
hideous. The fabric is terrible.
47:33
Obviously it's unprofessional because she's saying all this
47:37
right in front of Meri and Meri looks to the side and her lips
47:41
are tight. She has the most pursed lips
47:44
I've seen in a hot minute and she is yikesing out.
47:48
She is going. I don't know what the fuck is
47:50
going on here and I don't even
47:52
Well, the material, it's a thick
47:58
to say glitter metallic on top of it.
48:03
So it's a very thick type of material.
48:05
It's not going to lay well. It's not meant to lay well.
48:09
It's not meant to be fitted form
48:14
You're stupid to have even thought that type of fabric
48:18
would be good for dressmaking and for a fitted look.
48:23
And Meri should even know better
48:26
So I kind of started getting pissed for Sam at this point
48:30
too, because Meri obviously picked this fabric Sam should
48:35
have. And this is where expertise
48:37
comes in. And she's not an expert.
48:39
She just graduated and she's learning her lesson.
48:42
You don't let the client pick the fabric like that.
48:46
You give them options. You say this isn't going to lay
48:49
right. I'll tell you why.
48:50
You tell them why that type of
48:53
design. You don't allow them to even
48:56
waste your fucking time trying
48:59
That's not going to work. So the whole thing just went
49:02
completely S. Meri should have known better.
49:04
Sam should have known better. Sam is freaking out.
49:07
She says that she's already had to fix it four times.
49:12
There's three days left until the ceremony.
49:14
I cannot stress enough how hard it is to get a dress fitted.
49:19
Anyone who has been married before or been in a wedding
49:23
before and had a bridesmaids dress fitted or a wedding dress
49:26
fitted knows that you go to your
49:31
like another one like a week out, you go to multiple fittings
49:36
so that things fit like a glove and you're paying for tailoring
49:41
at that point. This is outrageous to me.
49:44
Yeah, it also doesn't align with
49:49
the beginning of this episode.
49:54
It's like, OK, so maybe Meri saw
49:57
edgy because it's hideous. And I mean I agree if you were
50:00
to wear it it would be edgy because it is insane looking,
50:03
but it's certainly not flowy by any stretch.
50:06
The only thing it would maybe work for is a faux leather
50:10
pleathery miniskirt. I don't know.
50:14
It doesn't work for the area. She's trying to fit it under the
50:17
chest. It's too thick for that stupid.
50:22
At this point, Sam says something along the lines of
50:24
it's not looking like this is going to workout.
50:27
And it's funny too, because there's this tension in the air.
50:29
Sam has like pins in her mouth
50:32
It's just like everything is not
50:36
The scene is nothing is working.
50:38
They give us whiplash like they do.
50:40
And, you know, they're trying to induce our anxiety because they
50:44
cut from this dress moment with Meri and Sam to Kody drilling
50:49
anchors into the side of one of the houses so that he can
50:54
connect the cables so that he can connect the hooks to the
50:59
center circle. And he's going house to house
51:03
connecting these cables so that he can put the string lights,
51:06
wrap them around the cables to the center thing.
51:09
He's literally drilling into their brand new houses.
51:12
Yeah, into the stucco. Like directly.
51:14
Into the stucco, Yeah. So they cut from that back to
51:20
Sam and Meri, and Sam finally admits that this dress is just
51:28
Yeah, and start over. Thank you.
51:30
Meri even comments that she doesn't understand Sam's
51:34
creative process. She would have scrapped the idea
51:40
in on Sam's creative process so she allowed her to go until
51:43
she was fed up with it. You fucking dumb.
51:47
It's three days out and you know how much goes into sewing a
51:51
dress and you allowed this to happen.
51:53
If you knew it wasn't going to work, you should have said, you
51:56
know, I actually know a bit about sewing.
51:58
I just don't see this working. Let's just move on now.
52:01
You know, they do need to have these things to overcome or
52:04
these, you know, conflict moments or these escalation
52:06
points. And at this point, Meri does
52:09
acknowledge that she doesn't know what she's going to do.
52:11
And it's kind of like the cliffhanger of this scene is,
52:14
well, now I don't know what I'm going to do.
52:16
And, you know, in classic storytelling, that's a a moment
52:19
that happens often. So I think that they allow some
52:22
of this to go longer and more simply for that reason.
52:26
But, you know, we're here for it.
52:28
We're talking about it years later, here we are.
52:30
I would believe that maybe they had done that and that they were
52:37
and they were just filming this for the tension.
52:39
If Sam wasn't freaking out so much, I would believe that.
52:43
Yeah. But Sam is truly panicking.
52:47
You can tell she's freaking out. She's lost all sense of decorum.
52:54
when she walked in the first time around, and she doesn't
52:56
have it now at all. You.
52:58
Have some high expectations of
53:03
I just feel like to be on a show
53:06
If I saw this I would not be hiring this girl for anything.
53:10
It's embarrassing. She shouldn't have done this.
53:13
No, she was set up for failure
53:17
Quite a contrast from whoever that girl that owns Gimme Sugar.
53:21
She was like, I can build you whatever you want, I'll put the
53:23
poles, I'll put the stakes. I'll haunt your nightmares at
53:27
your commitment ceremony or your
53:30
backyard. She was rocking it and she was
53:33
giving a good impression. And you're right, Sam, quite the
53:36
opposite. Just like Kennedy with the
53:38
hairdressing and she kept talking about Kody going bald
53:42
and I'm like shut the fuck up.
53:46
And you're saying this on TV and
53:49
Some of these people that sell
53:53
TV for 5 minutes when it's all
53:57
5 minutes total maybe. And you looked like a goddamn
53:59
fool and now who's going to hire
54:02
Why'd you do it? You should start a class honey.
54:04
You should put it online. Like are you going to appear on
54:06
television? Let me get you some pro tips.
54:08
I have a podcast talking shit about losers like you could be
54:12
if you don't take my course. I think I see a business
54:14
opportunity, opportunity for you
54:15
I think it's great. I mean, I know I say dumb shit
54:19
all the time. I just don't think that it would
54:22
be worth potentially ruining the
54:27
I don't know, maybe I'm being harsh.
54:29
I probably am being really harsh
54:33
embarrassing. I get secondhand embarrassment
54:36
so bad and this was brutal to watch.
54:40
Sam, if you need some moral support, I'm here for you.
54:42
Don't go to Kimber. She will.
54:44
Don't come to me. Please.
54:45
She'll tear you apart. But I'm here for you.
54:47
I'll be here for you. Oh.
54:49
Boy. But A twist of fate.
54:50
Wow, this is a weird episode. This is spooky.
54:55
Me crying so much in the last couple and being sentimental and
54:59
now I'm just like this bitch can't make a dress to save her
55:03
life. Tearing poor Sam apart.
55:05
Oh my gosh, God. Back outside, Kody tells us he's
55:10
been putting the wires up all day.
55:13
Literally all day. And it does ring true to me
55:16
because we see a lot of footage of him doing things and also
55:18
when he met with Bree earlier it
55:21
And now we're coming up to the
55:24
he's only put up 3 wires at this
55:28
Now, I'm not the best at math,
55:31
So, you know, he confirms my terrible math skills by saying
55:35
that he has 9 left to do the next day and he's optimistic and
55:38
hopeful he'll be able to achieve
55:41
And I'm going, you think the next day you're going to be able
55:44
to do 3 times what you did today.
55:45
Now, of course, learning curves for everything.
55:47
You get the patterns, you get the things.
55:49
But this seems wildly optimistic, of course.
55:53
And then we cut to the next day because we're building that
55:55
anxiety. We got to move quick.
55:56
We got to move quick. We're picking up the pace,
55:58
picking up the pace. And we're at Christine's house
56:02
and we get to see Christine trying on her dress.
56:07
It looks like a 70s burnt orange
56:11
Renaissance Faire disaster on crack.
56:14
Now I am a little upset, honey, because you said Renaissance
56:17
Faire and the first part of this
56:20
stole my Renaissance Faire reference.
56:24
Well technically this type of dress would be from the medieval
56:27
era but it is renaissance festival ish because a run fest
56:34
you just wear whatever the fuck kind of, you know, era you.
56:38
Want right? Sure.
56:39
But it is a very medieval, so it's even worse.
56:42
Right. It's like out of the Dark Ages.
56:44
The Renaissance era, it is. It's straight up is.
56:48
I'm not even kidding. It's outrageous.
56:51
Yes. You'd lift the sleeves up and
56:53
it'd be like, oh, desperate. Christine, she's up in the
57:00
tower. I mean, it is a Princess dress.
57:02
It's just the not the Princess
57:03
It's like the plague is taking
57:07
Christine in this hideous, hideous fucking dress.
57:11
She keeps commenting on how heavy and huge and it is, yeah.
57:20
It looks like it weighs as much as me and it is you.
57:22
We were just told to remind everybody during the rehearsal
57:28
of the ceremony how hot it is.
57:34
And this is the material you picked and this is the dress
57:37
that you chose to have created
57:40
Are we going to see her pass out
57:45
exhaustion from this dress? We need a medic.
57:49
We need a medic and we need production to take care of it
57:51
because no one here has insurance like, Oh my God, this
57:54
family. Emergency.
57:56
Yeah. We need to go to emergency got
57:59
to get. Christine to emergency and you
58:03
know, during the scene, Sam starts removing some of this
58:05
fabric, you know, to lighten Christine's load to make her
58:10
less of a mobile home looking outfit that she's trailing
58:14
around on her just like insane.
58:16
Oh my God. It has these big ribbons hanging
58:23
So when you take those ribbons in and tie it, it does cinch the
58:37
This was not executed correctly at all.
58:41
I sew a little bit, and I know a little bit about sewing.
58:46
I'm not great at it at all, but I do it for funsies.
58:51
I've sewn Halloween costumes for my kids.
58:53
Yeah, I even am appalled by this.
58:56
Yes. No, you have, you know, you're
59:01
because some of your outfits have turned out super cute for
59:06
I mean really what Sam does is end up removing fabric in the
59:10
back. Like we see her cutting out
59:12
panels and pulling things off and Christine's like, am I
59:14
exposed? Am I exposed?
59:16
It's like. But you're not.
59:18
Exposed honey, calm down, there's 17 layers of fucking
59:21
fabric here. So she's tearing apart work that
59:30
new she is to this whole thing. I can't stress enough that they
59:36
just keep going the cheap route with everything.
59:38
And they did it again with the dress designer.
59:41
And I'm sorry to her and I'm sorry I'm being so mean, but she
59:46
This was just too big of a bite for your first job.
59:50
Oh my gosh, when you say they go cheap on everything, I'm just
59:53
imagining the pergola collapsing on the entire family during the
59:56
ceremony because they went cheap on the pergola.
59:59
Oh God I wish that would happen but.
1:00:01
You're wrong because that was for Robyn, so they went all out
1:00:05
and spent the money on it. So it's not going to collapse,
1:00:12
You are so right. Wishful thinking.
1:00:15
They want to cut any corners. No, Robyn.
1:00:17
No. It's definitely the most
1:00:19
expensive pergola in Southern Nevada.
1:00:21
Kody returns outside to continue work on the cables on this next
1:00:26
day, and he says he's got the pattern down to two hours per
1:00:30
cable. So, you know, he's making some
1:00:35
Is he stopping every 15 minutes
1:00:38
to go give Robyn a little smooch?
1:00:40
Because that's a long time. But also I'm going if it really
1:00:43
takes that long, I would be very
1:00:46
I would. I mean, it's entire days of time
1:00:49
gone spent on this. I would have redone my math to
1:00:52
lessen the amount of cables maybe.
1:00:55
Right. Yeah.
1:00:56
At that point, knowing that you might not get done, I would
1:00:59
have. You had three done the first
1:01:02
day, I would have figured out how to do one more to each house
1:01:05
and have it look good. Yeah, and it still would look
1:01:08
good. You could have even strung
1:01:09
lights the opposite way like a
1:01:13
around it to have more lights.
1:01:18
seems to dig his heels in a bit when it's not the best idea.
1:01:21
He just can't recalibrate and come back from it.
1:01:25
And as the sunsets for the day, the adults are chatting about
1:01:29
all the things that still need
1:01:33
And to be fair, it's a lot like they go through this list.
1:01:37
What was it? The rentals, The food he's still
1:01:39
got to do, the lights. They need to finish their
1:01:41
clothing. They are going to rehearse again
1:01:43
with the kids. They're going to do all of these
1:01:45
things in one day. Supposedly these people can't do
1:01:49
anything, so I don't know how this is going to happen.
1:01:51
They say it's 48 hours away, the
1:01:56
they want everything done the next day.
1:01:59
That's right. So they want everything done a
1:02:01
day out so that the day of they're focused on getting ready
1:02:05
themselves for the ceremony. It's not looking good for them.
1:02:10
Everything's going South and nothing is finished.
1:02:13
Janelle straight up says nothing
1:02:16
So they only have these two days, one day between the day of
1:02:20
the ceremony and nothing is done.
1:02:25
Well, you know, I'd be freaking out, but I wouldn't have done
1:02:27
any of this, so I don't know what to say.
1:02:29
It's like you made your bed. Like here you are.
1:02:31
Janelle says she's worried the
1:02:35
which I think is a weird comment.
1:02:37
I agree it was weird, especially
1:02:40
Like what are you talking about?
1:02:41
Like you don't give a fuck about anything and now you're at
1:02:44
literally the 11th hour and you're worried it's not going to
1:02:48
you've made it too fancy and that's your problem.
1:02:51
Like what are you talking about? So everything is going to look
1:02:59
everything. I don't you have you ever been
1:03:11
know what to say? I think I've offended enough of
1:03:15
our listeners this episode that I'm going to plead the fifth, I
1:03:20
think. She's worried about that
1:03:22
happening because, you know, Janelle's so practical and she's
1:03:28
probably seen a DIY go very horribly wrong in this family,
1:03:38
has to see? Yes, like they just should have
1:03:40
had Meri start like a month beforehand and just do it all
1:03:43
and it probably would have been better, if not the same.
1:03:47
And now we get the coming up on. Oh boy, I got some tingles and
1:03:55
foot was asleep and it's not just because I was possessed by
1:03:59
the spirit of Mystic Mona or Nipple Tassel Mona.
1:04:03
Nobody was possessing me, but I got some tingles because we get
1:04:08
a preview. Oh, we get a preview.
1:04:09
We get a preview of one of my favorite Sister Wives moments.
1:04:23
we're going to talk about it, but they're taking their
1:04:26
pictures and Oh my God, just in time for Halloween.
1:04:30
What a fucking trick or treat. Both a trick and a treat.
1:04:34
I'm so excited. We get one of the craziest, most
1:04:46
I'm so excited. I'm so excited.
1:04:49
Yeah, seriously, he looks like he is going to end up in
1:04:53
hospital because he lose it. He's going to end up in the
1:04:57
loony bin down in Tokus. We've got Christine going to
1:05:01
emergency, We've got Kody going to emergency.
1:05:03
We've got Robyn who should just, we don't want to bring her to
1:05:06
emergency, just let her die. Oh God, I can't say that.
1:05:08
I can't say that. We've got other family members
1:05:14
emergency. It's going to be a big doll, a
1:05:26
Share are shit stains and mustard seeds.
1:05:29
Honey, why don't you get us started with your mustard seed?
1:05:33
My mustard seed is going to go
1:05:35
to Maddie for fucking with Robyn.
1:05:39
Oh yes, Maddie started a whole
1:05:49
for simply no reason whatsoever.
1:05:51
Just some dumb teenage comments, some offhanded, potentially
1:05:56
high, allegedly not saying she was wasn't just by, you know,
1:06:02
simply asking what would happen if she chose not to sign her
1:06:06
life away in blood. And I think that it was a a good
1:06:16
viewers. It really, really did.
1:06:18
Yeah, anytime someone fucks with Robyn they definitely deserve a
1:06:22
mustard seed. I I agree.
1:06:23
I agree. She even admitted that it was to
1:06:28
And I appreciate her candor. So thank you for giving us that,
1:06:33
What about you? Who's getting your mustard seed
1:06:37
this time around? It truly is a special time in my
1:06:46
seed this season and now I'm giving Kody a mustard seed this
1:06:50
season. It's a big dull.
1:06:52
It's a big dull. He did attempt and not finish an
1:07:01
lights. I like the idea and he might
1:07:04
have stolen that idea. Maybe he was inspired by
1:07:06
Pinterest. Who knows?
1:07:08
I can't comment on his execution
1:07:10
finished, but I like the idea and I like the initiative.
1:07:14
I also appreciate and want to congratulate him personally for
1:07:19
navigating that experience where
1:07:23
and be humiliated in front of America by asking him what do
1:07:27
you think in the most tedious thing he's probably ever seen in
1:07:29
his life, he navigated that well.
1:07:32
Janelle and Christine both praised him for speaking from
1:07:35
his heart, which was nice. And there was also a point where
1:07:40
he said if you don't sign this
1:07:44
And he told his children that if
1:07:46
kick them out of the family. And I appreciated those things.
1:07:51
Also, I don't really know what
1:07:56
this episode. So, you know, when the bar's
1:07:57
low, you kind of got to go for
1:07:59
I, I don't really, I'm not standing behind this decision
1:08:02
with the same kind of pride. I would stand behind, let's say,
1:08:05
a shit stain for Robyn. I would always stand behind a
1:08:08
shit stain for Robyn. I would salute it.
1:08:10
I would be proud. But this one I'm reluctantly
1:08:14
giving my mustard seed to Kody.
1:08:16
OK, well it truly is a Halloween miracle.
1:08:19
All right, darling, shit stain. Who's your shit stain?
1:08:27
You. Know at first I was thinking I
1:08:49
the get go how she wants her dress to be funky and unique and
1:09:02
flowy and comfortable and then obviously picked this horseshit
1:09:06
fabric to work with. She should know better and she
1:09:20
Not workable whatsoever. Just like Sam said, upholstery
1:09:29
She should have known better. She has the skills enough to
1:09:34
know better and now I almost feel like, does she do this type
1:09:41
Does she want to go out and buy a dress?
1:09:44
Did she already have another dress?
1:09:46
Did she have a dress in mind that she really wanted?
1:09:48
And now she's going to be the one wife that doesn't have a
1:09:51
dress made for her? Because I was thinking that was
1:09:54
going to be Robyn, but now I'm wondering.
1:09:56
It's getting down to the wire here.
1:09:59
We've got 48 hours left. If this timeline is actually
1:10:04
accurate, seems like there's no way.
1:10:07
I have to say, move over Mystic Mona, take that plastic table.
1:10:14
ball. Not saying that you're right,
1:10:16
but I think you might be predicting the future.
1:10:20
It's a little lazy. It's a little hard to see.
1:10:22
It's a little hard to see this crystal ball.
1:10:25
It's brown, It's hideous brown. It's shit stain brown.
1:10:29
You all can't see it, but I am swinging my own nipple tassels
1:10:37
Like helicopter Dick style. Just reading into the future as
1:10:43
Chris stares into the twirling nipples and goes into a trance
1:10:49
That's what's happening. I am hypnotized.
1:10:51
Meri gets my shit stained. Oh, wait, no, no, Break the
1:10:55
spell. Break the spell.
1:10:56
We can't. I can't do that.
1:10:57
I can't do that. Not on this podcast, not two
1:10:59
shit stains for Meri in one episode.
1:11:01
No, my shit stain is going to go to her sister wife Robyn.
1:11:06
Oh, Robyn. I'm going to start with
1:11:09
something else. I forgot to mention that I
1:11:11
noticed underneath that sign about my sister wife's closet,
1:11:22
you you'd have to freeze frame. You'd have to really look for it
1:11:32
a garbage can or something. I couldn't quite tell it was
1:11:36
sitting on, but a big doll, an expensive doll, a Dolly in a
1:11:40
dress. A little preview of what's to
1:11:42
come in Robyn's life that we'll learn about is some Dolly Dolly
1:11:46
love. Also she suggested that the
1:11:50
children move out of the house if they don't sign a made-up
1:11:55
fucking thing that matters nothing to no one, which is just
1:12:05
And I'm going, honey, this is not working for you.
1:12:08
You are being filmed. If you're going to do your hair
1:12:11
for scenes where you're sitting around doing nothing, if you're
1:12:13
going to get all gussied up to literally do nothing, this bitch
1:12:19
But then you're out here doing this activity and you've got, I
1:12:22
don't know, maybe some like a mascara on.
1:12:24
And you're wearing this ball cap and you look like a 12 year old
1:12:27
boy yelling at some kids about not following the rules, about
1:12:32
Oh, and you know, to counter your mustard seed, she did get
1:12:39
So I'm just going to put all the shit in Robyn's face for this
1:12:43
episode. Fair.
1:12:44
It's fair. It's always fair.
1:12:45
Yeah. I think we've given mustard
1:12:49
seeds to Kody a few times, but I think Robyn's never gotten a
1:12:53
mustard seed. Still right?
1:12:55
Somebody tell us. Let us know.
1:12:58
Right. If you know if we've done it,
1:13:00
please tell us. Tell us in the comments if we've
1:13:03
We need to know our keep sweet moment in this very spooky
1:13:08
episode and we are all very much afraid of what is to come.
1:13:13
Comes to us from season 6 episode 13 boys night out.
1:13:18
A comment left from Brittany lopper on YouTube.
1:13:21
And Brittany tells us I went parasailing and the boat stopped
1:13:31
hurt, but we had to unhook super quick because the parachute
1:13:35
started pulling us down. But I didn't die.
1:13:39
I love it, I love it. I know, right?
1:13:43
I know. So thank you so much Brittany
1:13:46
for letting us know that you survived A parasailing incident
1:13:48
that was near death and this only confirms that some man
1:13:52
should pay for me to do the same thing in the future.
1:13:55
So thank you so much. We are appreciative and you get
1:13:58
our keep sweet moment this week.
1:14:00
Some man should pay for you to
1:14:03
It would be wonderful. And I'm like, are you putting
1:14:05
this into the universe at the end of a Halloween special?
1:14:08
That's not a Halloween special.
1:14:09
It's just us being deadbeat losers.
1:14:12
No. You know one thing that I was
1:14:14
thinking though, as you were remarking about the doll in the
1:14:18
background. First of all, Robyn would love
1:14:27
fucking horrible person because who hates animals and loves
1:14:30
creepy ass dolls? And then I thought, wouldn't it
1:14:33
be nice of us to send her a little gift and send her a
1:14:38
haunted Annabelle doll, perhaps let's send Robyn a haunted doll,
1:14:48
She wouldn't even know. She wouldn't have to know it was
1:14:53
I think we're doing it. Oh my God, if anyone.
1:14:57
OK, so how do we get someone to help us figure out where to send
1:15:05
else out loud. If anyone listening to this
1:15:08
podcast knows how we could maybe facilitate this a little bit.
1:15:12
Not get the doll. Not how to send a doll, not how
1:15:15
to get it possessed, but where could we potentially send it to?
1:15:22
asking for anything specific. Kimber bringing up this idea.
1:15:24
It was all alleged. It's all made-up.
1:15:26
It's all part of a dream. You're dreaming right now.
1:15:31
I like it, honey. I like it.
1:15:35
I highly suggest if you haven't liked subscribed, followed,
1:15:39
given us five stars of course,
1:15:43
return next week as we begin the
1:15:47
with the Browns. Until then, may it haunt your
1:15:51
nightmares and may you, I don't know, bleed out of your eyes if
1:15:54
you're fucking possessed doll.
1:15:57
for people hang on. We don't want our listeners eyes
1:15:59
to bleed. What am I saying?
1:16:00
Oh my gosh, it's. My evil laugh.
1:16:04
I've heard that if you go into
1:16:08
say Robyn's name 10 times and turn around while holding a doll
1:16:13
of your own and look into the mirror, you'll see her standing
1:16:18
behind you with her own 10203040
1:16:27
Of course, draped in by sister
1:16:30
What a vision. Ridiculous.