Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #437 The Monday Mixed Bag

Transcript

#437 The Monday Mixed Bag · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

0:03
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
0:07
Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
0:10
Speaker 2: Now, when I think about the person that he was
0:13
Speaker 2: for me, he was a person who didn't condemn. He
0:16
Speaker 2: met people where they were at no matter their circumstances.
0:19
Speaker 2: He was found with the people, and he lifted and
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Speaker 2: he loved and I just I love that. And so
0:25
Speaker 2: for me in my life, everything I try to do
0:27
Speaker 2: is about just meeting people where there are. And now
0:30
Speaker 2: here's the stars of our show, my mom and dad.
0:33
Speaker 3: You know how we're living a part of the moment
0:35
Speaker 3: missus Happy Families.
0:37
Speaker 2: Yes, I do.
0:38
Speaker 1: Ultimately, I'm aware of that. I'm still with you. It's
0:42
Speaker 1: Monday morning.
0:43
Speaker 3: We're recording the podcast very very early, and we're doing
0:47
Speaker 3: it together using the iPhone. I have no idea how
0:50
Speaker 3: this is going to work. We're used to sitting there
0:52
Speaker 3: with all the fancy equipment. But I couldn't leave. I
0:55
Speaker 3: just had to stay for one more night so that
0:57
Speaker 3: I could be with you and the kids. And it's
0:58
Speaker 3: a big day for us today. Kids are starting their
1:00
Speaker 3: brand new school on the coast. It's all happening, and
1:03
Speaker 3: I wanted to be here to support you. And support
1:05
Speaker 3: the kids. So happy Monday, everybody. We've got a lot
1:09
Speaker 3: to talk about today and a podcast that's a little
1:11
Speaker 3: bit different to normal. Normally, we pick a topic and
1:15
Speaker 3: we chat about it and give you a bunch of tips.
1:18
Speaker 1: But there has been so much in the news.
1:21
Speaker 3: Lately, so many big stories that relate to parenting and
1:25
Speaker 3: just make us think about our lives generally, that we
1:28
Speaker 3: decided that today we're going to talk about the big issues,
1:31
Speaker 3: the big issues missus happy families.
1:33
Speaker 2: Well, if we're going to talk big issues, I don't
1:35
Speaker 2: think we can go past. Last night sixty minutes report
1:39
Speaker 2: on Cleo.
1:40
Speaker 3: Clear got onto the phone and she's like, come on me,
1:43
Speaker 3: and I was like, maybe this is such a beautiful moment.
1:49
Speaker 3: Cleo Smith, after being disappeared, kidnapped for nearly two weeks,
1:55
Speaker 3: found I mean, what an incredible story.
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Speaker 2: This would have to be literally a parent's worst nightmare.
2:03
Speaker 2: I can't, I can't. Even my mind actually will not
2:07
Speaker 2: allow me to go there, to think what it would
2:09
Speaker 2: feel like to be in their position.
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Speaker 1: It was nothing that I ever want anyone to feel.
2:15
Speaker 3: I didn't know where my baby was, and while saying that,
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Speaker 3: I also knew someone had.
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Speaker 1: Taken her a fascinating, an extraordinary story.
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Speaker 2: Our greatest hope would just be that Cleo is safe
2:28
Speaker 2: and that she's getting the help that she needs to
2:30
Speaker 2: kind of move forward in positive ways in her life,
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Speaker 2: and that the family have got the support that they need.
2:34
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say exactly the same thing.
2:37
Speaker 1: How is Cleo going right now? She's she's okay. Yeah,
2:44
Speaker 1: every day is a new day. Yeah, she has RUPs
2:49
Speaker 1: and downs every day. Yeah, every day and night is different.
2:56
Speaker 1: But she's okay. So that's one big story now.
2:59
Speaker 3: The second and big big story of the last week
3:02
Speaker 3: has been CityPoint Christian College in Brisbane. The school has
3:05
Speaker 3: been reported to the regulator and Human Rights Commission accused
3:08
Speaker 3: of discrimination. But this is a school whose principles sent
3:11
Speaker 3: out a document that basically said if you want to
3:14
Speaker 3: be part of the school, we need to sign this.
3:16
Speaker 3: And it was a statement that said that the school
3:19
Speaker 3: was firmly against anything related to children showing up to
3:24
Speaker 3: school with any gender identity other than the gender identity
3:30
Speaker 3: with which they were born. So if you were born
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Speaker 3: with male anatomy, that you must shop up to the
3:34
Speaker 3: school with male anatomy. But also a prohibition on homosexuality.
3:38
Speaker 3: But further than that, they compared if I've read the
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Speaker 3: news reports accurately, and I haven't seen the document, but
3:46
Speaker 3: if I've read the news reports accurately, they compared homosexuality
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Speaker 3: to beast reality and pedophilia, which I mean. So you
3:53
Speaker 3: and I have got a Christian faith and a deep one.
3:55
Speaker 3: We go to church every Sunday. We really really feel
3:58
Speaker 3: strongly about about our faith. But kylie deeply, deeply uncomfortable
4:06
Speaker 3: with a school sending out an email like this and
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Speaker 3: asking people in the school community to sign it or
4:13
Speaker 3: to not come back to school, which is how I'm
4:15
Speaker 3: essentially reading this.
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Speaker 2: It's interesting. I think that when you look at the
4:20
Speaker 2: way the world is evolving and changing, we are dealing
4:24
Speaker 2: with challenges that were never ever talked about. We're never
4:28
Speaker 2: in the limelight, we're never kind of out in the open.
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Speaker 3: That's certainly not like to talk scripturally for a moment.
4:36
Speaker 3: I listened to a podcast just a few weeks ago.
4:38
Speaker 3: It was fascinating. They said, the idea of homosexuality didn't
4:44
Speaker 3: really exist two thousand years ago. So when our Bible,
4:47
Speaker 3: when our New Testament was written about two thousand years ago,
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Speaker 3: that concept didn't actually exist. People men specifically would be
4:56
Speaker 3: engaged in homosexual acts, but it wasn't part of their identity.
5:00
Speaker 3: They didn't identify as gay or as male lovers. It
5:06
Speaker 3: was simply an activity in the same way that I
5:07
Speaker 3: would kiss you, or go and kick a ball with
5:09
Speaker 3: the kids, or it was just something that I did.
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Speaker 1: It wasn't part of my identity.
5:13
Speaker 3: And we're in a completely different cultural context. We're in
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Speaker 3: a completely different way of seeing the world, a completely
5:18
Speaker 3: different way of being now. And I just those issues
5:22
Speaker 3: of gender identity and homosexuality. They're far from clear scripturally
5:25
Speaker 3: as it is, but the context then compared to today,
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Speaker 3: I think that we run the risk of missing the
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Speaker 3: whole point of what a Christian faith is about when
5:34
Speaker 3: we get caught up on this stuff.
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Speaker 2: For me, I look at who I believe in no
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Speaker 2: Christ to be, and when I think about the person
5:44
Speaker 2: that He was, for me, he was a person who
5:47
Speaker 2: didn't condemn He met people where they were at no
5:49
Speaker 2: matter their circumstances. He was found with the people, and
5:53
Speaker 2: he lifted and he loved and I just I love that.
5:56
Speaker 2: And so for me in my life, everything I try
5:59
Speaker 2: to do is about just meeting people where they're at.
6:01
Speaker 2: It's not my job to judge them. It's my job
6:03
Speaker 2: to love them. That's my job. And I think the
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Speaker 2: biggest thing that's come out of this is just this
6:09
Speaker 2: acknowledgement when did school become about sex and sexual preference?
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Speaker 1: Schools are about education and.
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Speaker 2: An opportunity for our children to learn in a safe environment.
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Speaker 3: Kylie, that's really all said. I'm deeply discomforted by what
6:23
Speaker 3: were sent out. I think that any organization has is
6:27
Speaker 3: well within its rights to set boundaries and standards around
6:29
Speaker 3: what it values and what's important. And it's also worth
6:32
Speaker 3: mentioning we've had our kids in Christian schools and in
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Speaker 3: private schools and in public schools, and every school has
6:39
Speaker 3: its own set standards, and many schools that we've sent
6:42
Speaker 3: our kids to, they actually ask you to sign a
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Speaker 3: statement of belief or a statement of intent or a
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Speaker 3: statement of it where you agree to stick with what
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Speaker 3: they're all about.
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Speaker 2: Well that you'll support the school's ethos and whatever it
6:55
Speaker 2: is they believe. And there have been plenty of times
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Speaker 2: where we haven't agreed necessarily with everything on that list.
7:00
Speaker 2: But we also recognize as parents, our job is to
7:03
Speaker 2: teach our children and our own homes, and.
7:05
Speaker 3: We're choosing that school because of the values that, because
7:08
Speaker 3: of the values that or the environment or whatever it is.
7:09
Speaker 3: I mean, we've seen Islamic kids going to Christian schools,
7:12
Speaker 3: and we've seen and those same families they're signing that
7:16
Speaker 3: document because they're saying, do you know what, we generally
7:18
Speaker 3: agree with what's going on here, and we want the
7:19
Speaker 3: kids to be there because their friends are there, and
7:21
Speaker 3: we like the environment they've created. My feeling, though, is
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Speaker 3: that it's one thing to set boundaries and make standards
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Speaker 3: around what's important.
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Speaker 1: But read the room. City point.
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Speaker 3: No offense to anybody who really takes this firmly, But
7:35
Speaker 3: I just feel like they're waving a red flag at
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Speaker 3: a ball.
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Speaker 1: Haven't read the room?
7:40
Speaker 3: And more sensitivity and more may I dare say, as
7:43
Speaker 3: somebody who has a Christian faith myself, more Christianity in
7:47
Speaker 3: the way that they interact with others may have actually
7:50
Speaker 3: helped here. Anyway, Two big, heavy topics, a little bit unusual,
7:54
Speaker 3: not what we normally talk about, but we just felt
7:55
Speaker 3: like we wanted to highlight our deep discomfort with that
7:59
Speaker 3: letter and to celebrate the Cleo Smith story, a big
8:04
Speaker 3: good news story coming up right after the break from
8:07
Speaker 3: a former AFL great who has just about made the
8:10
Speaker 3: nation weep.
8:11
Speaker 1: It's their Happy Families podcast.
8:14
Speaker 4: Our Screens Creating tension at home betweens, teens and Screens
8:18
Speaker 4: is a webinar to guide families to healthy, safe superscreen solutions.
8:23
Speaker 4: Bye today at happy families dot com dot are you
8:26
Speaker 4: slash shop?
8:28
Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time
8:30
Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers.
8:31
Speaker 1: Now we're stirring the pot a bit today.
8:34
Speaker 2: I'm nervous, Well you are because you actually haven't gone home. No,
8:39
Speaker 2: that's right, staring the pod in lots of ways today.
8:41
Speaker 1: No idea how, no idea how today is going to go.
8:45
Speaker 1: Today's a big day.
8:46
Speaker 3: It's first day of school for our four kids that
8:48
Speaker 3: are still at school.
8:50
Speaker 2: And we have one of our children's starting high school.
8:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, big deal for.
8:54
Speaker 3: Her grade seven. For Lily, Ella is in grade twelve.
8:58
Speaker 3: We've got Emily Studd grade two, and Annie who was
9:01
Speaker 3: starting grade nine. Thank you, Holy smokes. There's just so
9:06
Speaker 3: much going on. And we caught something from Ryan Fitzgerald,
9:12
Speaker 3: former AFL great who is now a radio announcer in
9:15
Speaker 3: I think.
9:16
Speaker 1: It's Adelaide from memory, and he did.
9:18
Speaker 3: This really cool thing with his son. Houston dropped him
9:22
Speaker 3: off at school. Mum and him had written a little
9:26
Speaker 3: note and said, mate, just before we jump out of
9:28
Speaker 3: the car, read this.
9:30
Speaker 1: I just said how proud they were. And here's what happened.
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Speaker 1: I can't read it. You read it when you're at school, ok.
9:40
Speaker 4: But all of these we just want to say how
9:42
Speaker 4: proud we are of you and we love you so much, buddy.
9:45
Speaker 2: Okay, you know I watched this footage and I teared
9:49
Speaker 2: up as well.
9:52
Speaker 1: It just it's so beautiful.
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Speaker 2: I think what stood out to me the most was
9:56
Speaker 2: here was this young boy who obviously is full of
10:00
Speaker 2: first day fears and nerves, and he just was overwhelmed
10:05
Speaker 2: by the fact that his parents are taken the time
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Speaker 2: to just acknowledge that.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, that was what really stood out to me.
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Speaker 3: Beautiful, beautiful, and I love the emotion. I love the
10:14
Speaker 3: emotion from both Houston and Fitzy. Yeah, just beautiful. Our
10:19
Speaker 3: kids off to school today, are you going to write?
10:21
Speaker 1: I haven't written them a lattery.
10:22
Speaker 3: Yet, but I'm inspired too, and I think we've still
10:24
Speaker 3: got time. We probably need to hop out of bed
10:26
Speaker 3: and go and look after the I don't know if
10:29
Speaker 3: for everybody who's listening, you might have been able to
10:30
Speaker 3: hear a bit of racket in the room next door.
10:32
Speaker 1: We're staying in this tiny, little three bedroom unit without
10:35
Speaker 1: a lock on the door, a lock on.
10:36
Speaker 3: The door, with only one bathroom, and we're on the coast,
10:40
Speaker 3: try to figure out where we're going to live and
10:41
Speaker 3: all that sort of stuff, and.
10:42
Speaker 1: We're two minutes from the beach. But the kids, the
10:45
Speaker 1: kids are not doing very well.
10:47
Speaker 3: So we're going to get out of here and go
10:49
Speaker 3: and get these kids ready for school. Maybe write a
10:53
Speaker 3: note I think we should, or maybe we could just
10:54
Speaker 3: have some hugs and some time together. It might be
10:56
Speaker 3: a bit late for a note.
10:57
Speaker 1: What do you reckon? You've left it too late, my
10:59
Speaker 1: honey better.
11:01
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that we've been able to share these
11:03
Speaker 3: ideas with you today. Hopefully this has been a podcast
11:06
Speaker 3: that's given you a bit of food for thought. We
11:07
Speaker 3: welcome your feedback always. Podcasts at happy families dot com
11:11
Speaker 3: dot au. That's podcasts with an s at happyfamilies.
11:14
Speaker 1: Dot com dot au.
11:15
Speaker 3: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Rouland from
11:18
Speaker 3: Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer and if
11:22
Speaker 3: you like more info about making your family happier, we
11:24
Speaker 3: would love for you to join us at happy families
11:26
Speaker 3: dot com dot au or on our Facebook page doctor
11:29
Speaker 3: Justin Colson's Happy Families