Latest / Feel Really Good: Empowering Meditations / You Don’t Need to Completely Reinvent Yourself

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You Don’t Need to Completely Reinvent Yourself · Feel Really Good: Empowering Meditations

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to completely reinvent yourself.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: How to start smaller than you think and make tiny changes that lead to massive shifts.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Transformation.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: When you hear that word, what does it bring up for you?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: A complete overhaul?
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  SPEAKER_00: An entirely new way of doing things?
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Being someone completely different than who you are right now?
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  SPEAKER_00: Something super hard that takes a lot of time?
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Here's some advice about transformation that doesn't necessarily get enough airtime.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Start very small.
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  SPEAKER_00: Seriously, that's it.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds too simple to actually make a dent, right?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: I know it does for me sometimes.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth is, you don't have to overhaul your entire life to make lasting changes.
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  SPEAKER_00: I know firsthand because I've been experimenting with this for years.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever I try to make a massive change all at once to the way I do things,
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I have a really hard time sticking with it.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'll do the thing for a week, a month if I'm lucky, and then somehow it falls away.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've been there too.
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  SPEAKER_00: Saying things to yourself like,
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to meditate twice a day for 20 minutes per sit starting today.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to get up at 5am every single day starting tomorrow.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to completely change my diet starting on Monday.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to write a book and then nothing happens.
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  SPEAKER_00: Or at least we have little tiny steps and then it drops off.
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  SPEAKER_00: These are all really nice goals to have and they absolutely are obtainable.
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  SPEAKER_00: But what I found is if we try to take on the entire goal all at once,
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  SPEAKER_00: it can become extremely overwhelming.
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  SPEAKER_00: And as soon as we have a tough day,
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  SPEAKER_00: we slide back into our old,
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  SPEAKER_00: comfortable ways because we haven't yet practiced the habits for us to make
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: that transformation truly doable yet.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: But if we take things one small shift at a time, we set ourselves up for success.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And over time,
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  SPEAKER_00: the more consistent we are with these tiny changes,
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  SPEAKER_00: the closer we get to creating beautiful and sometimes unexpected transformations
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  SPEAKER_00: in our life along the way.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Here's how we can start to make these small shifts.
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  SPEAKER_00: One, break it down.
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  SPEAKER_00: Rather than setting your alarm tomorrow for 5am and hoping
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  SPEAKER_00: that you'll love getting up a few hours before the sun,
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  SPEAKER_00: what if you set your alarm for 15 minutes earlier than you normally wake up
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  SPEAKER_00: and start going to bed 15 minutes earlier at night?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Ah,
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: My body relaxed a little more when I thought about the tiny step forward rather than
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: the leap that will probably lead me to wanting to sleep in for an extra two hours
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: after just five days of getting up at 5am.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Break your goal down into bite-sized chunks.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, what is my goal made of?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Eating a healthy diet consists of making small choices throughout the day
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  SPEAKER_00: to eat foods that quote-unquote love you back,
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: as one of my doctors, Will Cole, would say.
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  SPEAKER_00: So start with One meal that you would make changes to rather than your entire weekly menu.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Swap one soda for a glass of water or tea.
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  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself,
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  SPEAKER_00: how will I feel after I eat this before taking the last bites on your plate
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  SPEAKER_00: if you are already feeling full?
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  SPEAKER_00: Just start with one of these things first before taking on a new piece of the goal.
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  SPEAKER_00: Making small changes is so much easier and tends to last longer than doing a complete overhaul.
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  SPEAKER_00: Number two, experiment and see what actually works for you.
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  SPEAKER_00: Some goals that we set for ourselves are kind of arbitrary
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  SPEAKER_00: until we experience something that is actually working for us.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Let how you feel be your guide.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of forcing yourself to do the damn thing in a way that worked
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: for someone else,
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Take time to check in with yourself to see if the way in
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  SPEAKER_00: which you're making these changes is actually working for you.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: If it helps, write it down in a notebook, like you're conducting a scientific experiment.
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  SPEAKER_00: What did I try?
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  SPEAKER_00: How did I feel before?
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  SPEAKER_00: How did I feel after?
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  SPEAKER_00: What worked?
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  SPEAKER_00: What didn't?
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  SPEAKER_00: What will I try tomorrow?
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  SPEAKER_00: See what worked for you and what wasn't great.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then try things out again.
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  SPEAKER_00: If it didn't work for you after the first three times,
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  SPEAKER_00: make a shift in your approach and see if that works better for you.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Not for Ingrid the influencer on Instagram, but for you.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, get back on the horse.
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  SPEAKER_00: I hate to break it to you and myself, but you and I are likely going to fall off track.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: You're human.
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  SPEAKER_00: Our brains like patterns that are familiar and feel safe.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you start to stray from your safety,
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  SPEAKER_00: the nervous system can say,
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: whoa there,
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if this is going to lead me to survival yet,
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  SPEAKER_00: so maybe I should just go back to doing what I know.
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  SPEAKER_00: This is normal.
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  SPEAKER_00: And the only way to work with our nervous system to learn that
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  SPEAKER_00: the new pattern is safe is to get back up and try again tomorrow.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then again tomorrow.
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  SPEAKER_00: And tomorrow.
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  SPEAKER_00: Teach your body that this new way of doing something is a really good thing.
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  SPEAKER_00: This takes time, so stick with it.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Be patient.
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  SPEAKER_00: And instead of asking yourself at the end of the day, did I succeed?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, am I learning something?
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  SPEAKER_00: And if the answer is yes, get back up on that horse and give it another go.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Be okay with not being perfect.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: As a recovering perfectionist, I have to remind myself of this often.
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  SPEAKER_00: And let yourself try again.
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  SPEAKER_00: Number four, have a why.
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  SPEAKER_00: Rather than just having a huge goal and trying to get there relying
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: on motivation alone, which is very difficult to maintain for most of us, have a why.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: I want to change my diet to treat my body with love and be there for my family as I age.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: I want to meditate so that I can develop a deeper relationship with myself.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: I want to get up earlier so that I can carve out me time before I take care
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: of everyone and everything else throughout my day.
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  SPEAKER_00: I want to write a book because I have a story in me that I truly believe can make a difference.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: When we have a clear why behind the habits we want to develop,
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  SPEAKER_00: it gives us a reminder as to the importance of making the change.
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  SPEAKER_00: Number five, have an accountability buddy.
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  SPEAKER_00: Tell someone what you're working on or setting out to change and ask them
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  SPEAKER_00: to ask you how it's going.
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  SPEAKER_00: Or if you have a friend who already has the habit that you're trying to build,
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  SPEAKER_00: Ask them to text you each day when they finish their meditation or meal prep
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: or writing session and let that encourage you to do it too.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Often we quietly let our goals fade into the background
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  SPEAKER_00: because we haven't shared them with anyone.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And rather than being afraid of telling someone in case you quote unquote fail,
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm guilty of this all the time.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Remember that your friends want to see you succeed.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Ask them for the support you need along the way to get to where you want to go.
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  SPEAKER_00: Even if the goal changes over time.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if you need an accountability buddy here on Substack,
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: feel free to put it in the comments and we can share about what it is
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: that we're working on together.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Number six, show up consistently.
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  SPEAKER_00: Show up with these little changes every single day.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, now you might be thinking, wait, I thought you said to start small.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yes, let the habits themselves be small and doable,
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  SPEAKER_00: but in order to make real,
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  SPEAKER_00: lasting change in your life, you have to show up for yourself consistently.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Make a promise to yourself that you will try this tiny change for the next 30 days.
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  SPEAKER_00: And if you miss a day or two or a week, who cares?
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  SPEAKER_00: Pick up right where you left off.
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  SPEAKER_00: When I consistently make the tiniest of changes for myself towards
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  SPEAKER_00: the eventual outcome that I want to have happen,
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  SPEAKER_00: over time, I actually feel ready for another change.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then another.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then another.
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  SPEAKER_00: But I have to give myself the tiny change it's moment to really land and become
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  SPEAKER_00: a part of me before I try to shift to something else.
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  SPEAKER_00: So try these steps out.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Take some time to ask yourself what you really want to change and then start super small.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here today for this article on Feel Really Good on Substack.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And there's also the reflection prompts at the bottom of this article on Substack.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're a paid subscriber,
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: every week with the articles,
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: we have three reflection journaling prompts to help you with the theme.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope that this was good for you.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Feel free to send me a message or share in the comments what resonated with you
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: the most in this article.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I really hope that you're enjoying my weekly meditations as well.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you next week.