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Drew Grouten - Service And Accountability Lessons From A Working Class Childhood · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_04: Hi, I'm Riley, and I'm Renner, and this is my dad show.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_04: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jacobs with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_04: Welcome to season seven.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_04: Can't wait for this season as there's a lot of great guests ahead.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_04: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_04: It's a podcast where we we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_04: So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Deadcast.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_04: Hey everybody, it is Casey J.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_04: Cock with the Quarterback Deadcast.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_04: We're in season seven and we are we're chugging along on the path to hit a thousand dads.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_04: We got a few years ahead.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_04: We're gonna see like episode 370 something as it rolls out.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_04: We're recording in August.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_04: This episode will come out uh later this fall.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_04: And um this gentleman I met through the the wide world of staffing and the wide and my great friends over at Ron Stad, so shout out to them.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_04: And his name is Drew Grouton.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_04: He's a senior executive client partner, which we're gonna learn all about that.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_04: He's also a Keen State college beast.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_04: I think he might have been who to be out.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_04: We'll find out if that's true or not.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_04: But more importantly, Drew is a dad.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_04: He's working hard.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_04: We're gonna learn how he's working hard to become an ultimate quarterback or leader of this household without further ado.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_04: Drew, welcome to the quarterback.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: Pleasure to be here, KC.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for the invite.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_04: Are you who to be al?
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even know if that's his nickname, if I'm being honest.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_04: It is.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_04: I googled it before we started.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, did not spend any time in a uh mascot costume.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_04: Well, not what not what my research shows.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_04: I think you're not being honest.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_04: But we'll let that one slide.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, joking aside, we always start out each episode gratitude.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_04: So tell me what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_03: Man, two happy, healthy kids.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_03: Most a lot of other things that I'm grateful for, but that's number one.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_04: Good answer.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_04: You never take advantage, never take for granted your health because it's everything.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_04: I'd say what I'm grateful for, as I mentioned, we're in August.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I'm about to become an empty nester, which is a very surreal stage of life that I'm about to embark on.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_04: Um so I'm just grateful for these last few days with the kids, both.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_04: Um, my son Ryder, who's gonna be a junior in college, and my daughter Allie, who's about to start her freshman year.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_04: I'm so excited.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but I'm just grateful for this time we have.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_04: Um spent had a great weekend in Eastern Washington with them and just celebrating the little moments.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_04: Like we literally took the dogs for a uh to the river and watched them swim, and freaking they were happier than hell, and the kids were happy.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_04: It was just like it really was a slowdown, kind of happy moments that I was very, very grateful for this past weekend.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's that's awesome, man.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_02: I I feel like you and I are kind of on two different ends of the spectrum as it comes to kids, right?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm in the stage three and five, right?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: They're I'm the center.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: Well, me and the wife are the center of their universe, right?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: Everything that they do, they want us to be involved in, everything that we do, they want to be involved in.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: And just like the the crazy stuff comes out of their mouths at this age, like it's it's crazy.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_02: And then they go through these stages of life that obviously you and I went through as we were growing up too, where it's like you you kind of, I'm sure, gone went through the stage of they want nothing to do with you.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: And uh now it I'm glad that you're enjoying that time because I it's gonna change once they're officially out.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_04: I I've been sharing this with people recently.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_04: I think the the journey of parenting is interesting, interesting.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_04: You you want to be wanted, but if you're wanted too much later in life, you've done it wrong because they so we've I think my wife and I have done a good job of creating some independent kids, um, but also had a lot of fun with them, and and we've yet to reach that I'm a I'm a dipshit, get out of my face nerd stage, which I hope I I love hanging out with my kids and love making them laugh.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_04: And um it's it's uh but I know that that might not always be there forever, so I'm grateful for these little moments.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_04: But all right, man.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_04: Well, bring me inside the huddle.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_04: Um tell me about how you and your wife met and then talk about the squad.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, man.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: So um my wife is a uh a web developer, and I actually met her walking her in for an interview.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, no way.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: No, that's a lie.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: That's a lie.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: That'd be so that'd be so creepy.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she got she didn't get the job, but I did.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_03: There we go.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: No, we uh we actually met in college.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so she was a freshman.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: I was a junior, and I needed to get my my my parents were sick of giving me money, so I had to get a campus job, and we met at an interview for a campus job that neither of us got.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it was like a group interview.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: We were sitting at this big U-shaped table, um, and interviewer was in the center of it.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: I was on one leg of the U, she was on the other.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: So we were basically looking at each other across the interview the entire time.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: And like I'll never remember or never forget the first time I heard her talk was it was a name association game.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: So you had to say like first uh some an object that was like the first letter of your name.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: So I was Andrew for Apple or Apple for Andrew, and she was Whitney for Watermelon, and uh so we met met her freshman year in college.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um I graduated.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: We we started probably really seriously dating, I would say beginning of my um senior year, and then Carodon went up to uh visit her for two years after college.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'd moved back home with my parents.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: I was working in a um screw manufacturing warehouse.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um in you know you know how it is in a college town when you got a$12 an hour full-time gig, you're like king of the roost, right?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: Because his dollar beers and ten cent wings and everything like that.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: So I'd come up and visit it.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, after she graduated, we moved back here, man.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: Back to Connecticut.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_04: Very cool.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_04: And so you mentioned a three and five-year-old, talk about them a bit.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so um Logan is my son.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: He is he's the oldest.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: He's gonna be six at the end of September here.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, he he's at a really, really cool age, man.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um, he just uh he gets hyperfixated in certain stuff for like a month or two at a time.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like recently, um I I played soccer uh from when I was three and a half years old all the way through college, men's league, year league, whatever you want to call it after that.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um but he got super into the World Cup recently, and it was so much fun seeing him enjoy a game that like I I know where he can take him.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I know um, and I don't mean that from like you know, go play Division I and go play professionally and things like that, but just like the the camaraderie, different types of people that you get exposed to along the way that you wouldn't otherwise.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it it was super cool.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, he's he's big on um right now his current kick is Star Wars.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um before that it was Pokemon.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, he's at he's he's at a really fun age, super smart, super gentle.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um he uh he was a uh COVID baby.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um so he was born uh November 2020.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: Or no, excuse me.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: No, we moved we moved into a house November 2020.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: Uh he was born September 2020.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um that was wild time, first time parents going through that, man.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: That was that was crazy.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: But then um two and a half years later, um, wife and I had my daughter, um, Hayden, who um I describe her as kind of um, she's she's my princess.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: She's got me wrapped around her finger, but she's a princess with Johnny Knoxville energy.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: And like it she is she's a ball of chaos at all times.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: And um I I can't I can't talk about her too for too long because I get like emotional.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: But um she's uh when she when she wakes up in a good mood, the whole house is in a good mood.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: But if she's not in a good mood, we live in fear of a uh you know 30-pound tyrant running around the house.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's been um been a wild ride.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: Love it.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_04: That's so cool.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um and does Whitney sh does Whitney Whitney work or she stay home with the kids?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yep, so um she uh she works full-time as a web developer.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um and you know, I kind of I kind of joke that or we joke that um I'm the CFO in the house, but she's CEO.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: And if you know anything about business, the CFO always wants to be the CEO, but never gets to be.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: And uh um it's uh it's a good dynamic because uh I'll tell you what, like when when she's gone, it I I don't know how uh she manages the balance work or the kids and even just like incidental stuff, you know, like the Amazon reorbs and you know, oh hey, we're light on this, but I gotta be proactive, I gotta we can't run out of it, um all that.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, I she handles um we she's default parent, right?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: You know, she um she's the one that uh kids are homesick, she she takes the day off of work, kids have an appointment, she's the one that brings them.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: I do drop off that is it.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: And um she would probably say I'm minimizing that, but like from my view, she takes care of uh everything else.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: And has freed me up to go kind of pursue a career in this.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: Not that she didn't have doesn't have career aspirations, she loves what she does.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um but she knows that uh if she if I were to be the default parent, it wouldn't let me go pursue what I want to do.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: And she just knows with my personality that like if I just kind of sat back, I'd be miserable and I need to go and and and grow and change and be with people, and she supports every step.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_04: Awesome.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, the the wives, that's why I was joking, and we might be the quarterback, but the wives, the general manager, they they definitely keep us in in check and um so grateful for all the shout out to all the the moms and wives out there helping us dads stay out of our own way, and which is probably getting our own way a lot of the time.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_04: Um all right, man.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_04: Well, bring me back to what was life like growing up for you.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_04: Uh talk about the impact uh that mom and dad had had on you from a values perspective.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_02: From a values perspective.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I guess yeah, where do where do I start?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um so grew up in a small town called East Windsor, Connecticut.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: So you know, Connecticut kind of gets a um an interesting rap of being like a super rich state in but I mean the the circles that you keep on this podcast with Chris Martin doesn't really get the scent off that train off that uh trail.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: But um, I didn't grow up in Chris Martin town, I grew up in rural, rural farmland, Connecticut, in the in the uh north central part of Connecticut.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: So East Windsor is basically predominantly like a tobacco town, right?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: So tobacco fields everywhere.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um my uh my dad worked at a um company called Command Aerospace for a long time.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um in parts, he was basically in charge of ordering parts and um inventory and and things like that.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: And then my mom was uh working for Cygna Healthcare um for a very long time.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: And um uh she was in, I want to say in the claims processing division over there.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, my brother and I, um, my brother's a year and a half older than me.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: So my parents still live in the same house.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's about um, if you don't include the half-finished basement, it's about 800 square feet, uh, forced third three bedroom.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um my brother and I, you know, shared a room until he got a girlfriend, and then we made a forced third bedroom.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, one bathroom, about 800 square feet, you know, and and I'm not I'm not sitting here trying to pretend that like I grew up poor and times were tough.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: Sure, we had we had tough trials and tribulations like everybody does, but you know, it was it was just uh at the time kind of like a working middle class family.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um and you know, I think what the values that I gained from both my mom and my dad, I would say they sacrificed a lot for my brother and I so that uh we could be successful.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: And what I mean by that is, you know, they uh very pointedly I see it now, like I never saw it growing up, but I see it now that they made decisions not based on their future, but on my brother and my future.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: Whether that be paying for uh club soccer, you know, we were in no position to be shelling out 20 G's a year to go play uh club soccer.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: I see that in it almost like I never had to question it, like hey, am I gonna are we gonna be able to do this?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: They never said uh, you know, hey, we can't afford that.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: We didn't hear that a lot.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: We should have in in hindsight, but we never we never heard that because they saw that both their boys had a passion for something and we were good, right?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like I my brother went and played D1, I played division three soccer, but it wasn't about that, it was about the network that they were creating for us.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: Because when you think about a club team that costs 20 grand a year, for the most part, the vast majority of those families come from affluent areas, um they can they can afford to shell that out.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: But there's also another side of club soccer where folks there's folks that absolutely can't afford that and they're kind of sponsored onto the team, and so you're you're getting this blend of um people from all different walks of life, all different upbringings, all different housing situations.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then you got me and my brother kind of stuck in the middle of it, where it's like I I I attribute it to the fact that like I can walk into a room, and I I I'm not even being talking when I say this, like I I feel comfortable in most any room that I walk into.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like I could be on the streets of downtown Hartford in a dodgy area and not feel uncomfortable because I feel like I know I know those people, like I know people, and I could walk into a boardroom and feel comfortable because I know those people too.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I attribute a lot of that to what my family sacrificed for us to have those opportunities.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_04: That's awesome.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_04: You're probably learning about diversity and empathy for people before you even knew it.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_04: I made you reflect now, I would think.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, 100%.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_04: So besides sacrifice, what what were what were maybe another another value or two?
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_04: And maybe how did you learn these values through maybe a story that might come to mind?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: Uh see.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: So I I mean my my head immediately went accountability um and service.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know, um, let's start with service because I think I got a pretty good story about that, and it's timely.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: So um we uh our next door neighbor growing up, um, it was Elaine and Bob, um, older Jewish family.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: They were their kids were fully grown.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: So, like us being around, they loved it because they were at the stage of life where um their kids they were empty nesters and they they just liked having us around.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: And but they were they were getting older, they weren't doing their own yard work and things like that.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: And my mom would always just say, Oh, one of my boys will do it.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_03: And then we're like, I don't I don't want to do that.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_03: And then and then she she would talk to us and say, uh, listen, uh, you know that soccer goal that's in the background who bought that Elaine.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: You know that computer that you go over and use every day?
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_03: Who owns that computer?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: Elaine does.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_03: You're gonna go mow her damn long because she's earned that.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: She doesn't need to ask you to do that.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: And that act of service uh being instilled in me, I've carried that along for my entire life.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like I um it's like my love language.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: I love doing stuff for people.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like I it I hate my birthday, I love everybody else's birthday because because I like making other people feel good.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: I like me other but I hate being the center of attention.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: So um to have that carry with me through life, man, like that's a that's a huge one.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: I think accountability.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um we made a commitment.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: If you made a commitment, there was no backing out growing up.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like it was whether it was soccer practice, homework, um, uh going to a friend's house, or even the the best ones were like ancillary friends, like the ones that my parents wanted us to hang out with, but like we're like, I kind of want to get along with this kid.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: No, you said you were gonna go, you're going.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_02: And that sort of accountability from the jump, man, it's easy to it's easy to lose a sense of accountability in life.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: And it I'm sure it's happened to you, it's happened to me throughout um throughout my career and in life, but you know, you get somebody that pops into your life that creates a high level of accountability, it's like I'm back.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's good.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_04: It's um, you know, these are just sometimes words, but I think that's why I like pulling stories out of the guests that join joining us on the podcast because it like it slows us down to kind of remember what's like really important in in life.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_04: Sometimes we get going way too fast, we don't slow down to think about these things.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_04: And I love that you can even think about what mom and dad did for you.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_04: And shout out to Elaine.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and and actually it's it's time kind of timely.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Elaine unfortunately passed away a couple weeks ago.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, fourth battle.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: She beat cancer three times, lost the fourth, and uh just passed away recently.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: But um, even the like the the the acts of service things with her, like she was a huge Yukon fan.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm a huge UConn fan.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_02: So we connected on that, and she hadn't been to a Yukon game because of health issues, probably in like 15 years.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_02: She her and her late husband were seasoned ticket holders for forever.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: She hadn't been um every every year for the past three years has sent her to a UConn just to just to go.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, sent her with my parents, her sons.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um and and it's not to like it it maybe I'll probably end up unpacking this with a therapist at some point, but it's probably just um unpaid debt, you know, um, in a way, all the stuff that she did for me, my brother, my family over the years.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_04: Gratitude, you know, yeah.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_04: Well, rest in peace, Elaine.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_04: Uh hope she's smiling down and can hear this episode in heaven.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_04: Um so sacrifice, accountability, um, great ones, acts of service.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, uh that you're in you're now in the service end industry, which makes total sense.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um as it as you think about your kids, um, you know, obviously, I mean, are there different values now that are just as important, or are those ones that you brought up, there's are those different or the same, or like maybe talk about what's most important for you and Whitney?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: I think uh obviously um those three I think stick pretty hard with us.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um you know, just structure I I think is important.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um I don't know that's necessarily a virtue or um anything like that, but um man, I my biggest fear, Casey, is like them having almost too easy of a time growing up because part of life is is hardship and trials and tribulations and um challenges.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, if you get get through life without any of that, you come out or childhood without any of that, like the first time you experience it in the real world and the safety net's not there.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's not a good it's not a good thing.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: I've seen um I went to college with kids like that, and went I've known people like that where they they had it easy and then stuff gets real, life changes, and they don't know what to do.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: And avoiding that is is the biggest thing for biggest thing for me because those ty uh it it creates like an entitlement and entitled people I don't know, I feel like don't make it as far um on their own.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I was gonna say that that speaks to me, man.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_04: I think you know, working in an industry that provided a life I never thought I would have, and then being able to travel and let your kids experience things that you I didn't have when I was growing up.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_04: I mean our our version of vacation was camping.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_04: It was awesome.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_04: It was the best.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_04: It was the best.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_04: And you mean my kids have been on more plane rides.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but I I think my my wife and I were we were like very hard on hard on them at times of just about staying grounded, staying humble, working your ass off.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, Mark Cuban, there's a great quote, he's one of his kids one day said.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_04: Said, hey dad, are we rich?
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_04: He's like, I'm rich, you're not.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_04: You know, and uh that always like spoke to me just because like you want your you want your kids to your point to be able to survive without you.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_04: And if if you're if they're always needing you, and I I think about during the COVID time for everyone, we were we were one of those parents, my wife we just talking about this weekend.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_04: We were one of those parents were doing way too much for our kids, didn't realize it.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_04: And then like I'm like, oh my god, like we gotta stop doing this stuff.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_04: And so, like, they were one day during COVID, they're like, Hey, what's for what's for breakfast?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I don't know, figure it out.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_04: Like, we went pulled turkey the other way, and then now how'd they deal with out of the gate?
• 22:40
  unknown: Good.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_04: We and we just told him, like, hey, mom and dad were doing too much, so we're gonna now you might not know how to do these things, but you're gonna learn.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_04: And I read a book called You Have Not Taught Till They Have Learned, um, by a guy named Swen Nader.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um great basketball story.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I actually interviewed him early like in season one.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_04: And it's so important to, you know, to teach, but then show them.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_04: But if they don't know, I get I think it's embracing the fact that it's okay to say you don't know, son or daughter, but we got to do something about it.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_04: Doing nothing's not a choice.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_04: And so I think that just consistency of like instilling those have those habits.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_04: Like this morning, for example, my son works for Taylor Maiden, and uh he's he's he's got like four days work left before he goes off to college, and he had to he had to navigate uh about an hour and 45 minute drive.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_04: He's got to get on a ferry, um, figure it out, you know.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_04: And like he I I call him, like, hey, are you doing good, dude?
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_04: He's like, Yep.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_04: I thought I think I'm on the right one.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, I gotta call you back.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, oh boy, you know, no, but I actually enjoy those because that's how he's learning.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_04: And he calls back, yep, I'm on the right ferry.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_04: And uh, you know, but it's like I think we we re we forget.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_04: I was actually just talking to another mom this weekend that um you you don't you take for granted your kids can do so much more than you think.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_04: And I you know, so I think it's it's and so important that if there's a younger parent listening, like I'm on the other end of it, learn quicker than I learned.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_04: I didn't learn until like you know, ninth grade and seventh grade.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um but we can start you know, we we think about that stuff all the time, Casey.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like we do we do, obviously the kids are young still, so you you kind of have to do a lot for them still, but they're so capable.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_02: And you go back you go back to even when when I was growing up, like we just did stuff.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like and and go back to like the vacations thing as well.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_03: We we realized kids don't care where we go.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_03: They just want to be with us.
• 24:46
  unknown: Yeah.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: And we don't need to, you know, fly business class to Portugal for them to have a good childhood.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like you you could go down to uh Connecticut shoreline and spend a weekend there and go to the beach.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: They don't care that it's not um you know, the Bahamas.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_02: They just they just want to be with you.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I think when we when we realized that it it kind of changed our perspective, I think on um just what we viewed as vacation and what would be fun for them and uh make sure that they have a good childhood and all that.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: But you how how did you slow down to think about that?
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: And then we'd take small trips, like weekend weekend trips, and I think just seeing it in action, for me anyway, um was was eye-opening.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like I I realized they're just as happy here as they were in a lazy river down in San Francisco, right?
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_02: And we were just on a crummy beach in Connecticut, and and while our perspective on it is different because we've experienced a lot more, it's really not about that, you know.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: Especially like my my daughter, you know, when do they actually start remembering trips and things like that?
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: But they'll remember emotions and and how moments made them feel more so than the surrounding.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_04: I call that I learned about what you just described, it's called holistic differentiation.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_04: Actually, I you and I probably talked about it on our journey together, but like even like when salespeople or companies or leaders, how you make people feel is everything because that's how the that's the that's and you're making it their idea, so they create this moment of whatever the emotion is gonna be.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_04: Um but it's it's a power powerful thing when you go out of your way to do something nice, not because it's you you're looking for a reward, you're doing it because it's the right thing to do.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_04: And um then rinse for beat and stack those habits on top of each other, and then watch the culture change around you.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, everybody.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: My name's Craig Coe, and I'm the senior vice president of relationship management for Beeline.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: For more than 20 years, we've been helping Fortune 1000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, Beeline's history of first-to-market innovations has become today's industry standards.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: I get asked all the time, what did Casey do for your organization?
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I say this: it's simple.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: The guy Flat Out gets it, relationships matter.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: His down-to-earth presentation, his real-world experience apply to every area of our business.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, his book, Win the Relationship and Not the Deal, has become required reading for all new members of the Global Relationship Management Team.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to know more about me or about Beeline, please reach out to me on LinkedIn.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know Casey Jacks, go to caseyjcox.com and learn more about how he can help your organization.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's get back to today's episode.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_04: What did what did the game of soccer teach you that maybe you you you you use as like an maybe metaphors or analogies or experiences as a dad?
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_02: A ton.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like I we could talk to the rest of the podcast about all the takeaways, like real life takeaways from just not just soccer, but sports in general.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like the cliche ones of accountability, teamwork, colla uh collaboration, um camaraderie and culture, all of that.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_02: But for me specifically and inside of soccer, I think I shared this story with you, just humility.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_02: I think um, you know, you get in competitive sports, you get to a certain point where uh when you're younger, oftentimes like if you're if you're in the upper echelon of any youth sport, you're moving up moving up the different um team rankings and things like that, playing for better and better clubs, um, you're oftentimes the best player on the field.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_02: And eventually you get to a point where you're not.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: And that hit me like a ton of bricks when I was about, I don't know, maybe 13, 14, that that age, where for the first you know, nine years of playing the sport, nobody could touch me.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_02: I was this cocky little kid, 12 year old, um, 13-year-old kid, completely undersized, um, but was just I was just quicker and better with the ball, had a good shot.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I I was getting by on that.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_02: And then I got uh injected into a team where I was middle of the back at best.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember a time where a coach um pulled me off the field um and I looked him in the face.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: That's a 13-year-old who sat on me at that age, looked the coach in the face and said, Why are you taking me off the field?
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_02: I'm your best player.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_03: And he said, Go sit on the bench and watch.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_03: Because you're not.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_02: And um he hit me with a line that was like, If you have to if you have to tell people that you're the best, you're definitely not the best.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: And that hit me like a ton of ricks, especially at 13, completely immature, in the moment furious, like, I want to quit.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_02: I want to leave.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to be a part of this team.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: This guy doesn't know what he's talking about.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: A knee jerk reactions.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_03: And it was my older brother that uh put his arm around me and said, get better.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_03: He gave you feedback.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_03: Get better.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_03: We're going out in the backyard tonight.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_02: And maybe that's why he played division one and I played division three.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: But but um uh, you know, he I wanted to quit.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like I it it it um it impacted and he wouldn't let me, my parents wouldn't let me.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: Again, back to commitment and accountability.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um you made a commitment to the team, you're gonna be on this team.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_02: And if your position on that team is left bench, that's the position you're gonna play until that you till you get on the field.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um and you know, I think it's easy to quit.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_03: Like I think everybody everybody knows that it's easy to quit.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's so much harder to stick it out and to get better and acknowledge um whether it's gaps in performance or gaps in skill set that you need to improve.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_02: That's a real tough thing for a lot of people, especially in our world, KC, you know, type A salespeople.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_02: It it it's tough for people to get at get their head around, oh, I'm not that good at that.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_02: Or maybe they have their head around it but they don't want to talk about it because they think that it's weak or it it shows weakness and uh they don't realize that when you put something like that out there, you and I've talked a lot about this.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_03: That vulnerability is um it's there's an attractive force to it.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: People especially in a culture of trust and um lack of fear, you know, like that people swarm to vulnerability in the opposite way that you think they are.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_02: They swarm to a vulnerability to try and help versus point it out.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: And if you don't have that culture, I can understand why people don't open up.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_02: What I was getting, I guess where I was going with that is like humility, it definitely you get humble in any sport that you play.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_02: Eventually you will get humbled.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_02: Is it's uh who is it, Marshawn Lynch has that famous quote.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, I'm gonna get in there every single time, and I'm gonna get got sometimes, but I'm gonna get mine more than I get got.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_02: But you get the the best of the best, they get humble on a daily basis in their sport.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_04: When do you think you'll share those stories with your kids?
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_02: Man, I well, so uh probably pretty pretty soon, man, because uh Logan is uh doing fall soccer this year, and it's the first year.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: He's done it a couple times, and uh mostly the first the only times that he's done it, it's really been more um like getting comfortable with the ball, getting comfortable with the rules, not like an actual game or a team.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_02: This year he's doing a team and he's all excited.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_02: I think um I think this will be the year that he'll have um he's very um he's kind of he gets this for me.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_02: He doesn't like not being good at something.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: So he's gonna have some challenges this year with kids that have been playing.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um him and I kick the ball around the backyard and all and all that, but he's gonna be in a real in a real game, and I think that he's gonna he's gonna get frustrated that he's not scoring all the goals or his team's losing.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_02: You know, he struggles with that.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: And it's uh it's something that we my wife and I talk about a lot, is like how can I get past that?
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I think honestly, the answer is harness it.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like that competitive nature is not something that you just pick up, like it's kind of god-given in a way, like you you're either super competitive or you're or you're not in uh struggling with ways to figure out how to harness it appropriately, but um that's the plan.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's uh it's so good.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_04: It's and it's funny, like you'll see this as probably a lot when your kids get into the sports.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_04: There's parents that were gonna they're gonna try to protect everything, and but um sometimes the failures are our best lessons in life.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_04: Um my daughter right now, she's going through an ACL recovery.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, not easy.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_04: I'm full-blown out knee.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_04: And um having a little little small setback right now, or you know, she's at the doctor right now, and still a prayer last night that we're we're still on track for a good recovery.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_04: But she's going off to play hoop in college and she's got two years to get really healthy because she's gonna red shirt, but it's just it's hard.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_04: And we were it's funny.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_04: We were watching hard knocks this year with all the obviously our team Seahawks is in it, and watching one of the players go through rehab, and Coach McDonald's like he goes, Rehab sucks, it's not fun, hard.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_04: But so's life, so's life.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_04: So you gotta like find small things to celebrate.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_04: And so I think like when your kids are ready, you might have to tell that same story over and over and over, but one day it'll click of and I think that's when of you being like being vulnerable of sharing those stories because then because most kids they see us moms and dads, like, oh, we're perfect, we gotta figure it out.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_04: God, what a joke that is.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_04: You know, we're all we all got issues, we all are flawed, we're all trying our best.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_04: There's no manual for this journey of parenthood.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_04: One of the most important jobs that we're ever gonna have, yet there's no test to take kids to give you a license.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_04: Like, well, what do you mean?
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_04: Like, yeah, good, go get them.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_04: Here's the car seat.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_04: See you, bud.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_04: Like, oh, okay.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_04: And most parents, we figure it out, you know.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_04: But I think like I I you know, one of the things I always encourage dads, and fun about doing this podcast, is I learn from the guests.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_04: I hope they learn from me at times, but you don't need a podcast to go have these type of conversations with anybody.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_04: You can ask for help, you know, whether it's like, you know, when riders, my son playing golf in college, like there were times where life's great, and there's times where it's like, man, that game of golf will humble the hell out of you.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_04: And you could shoot 68, next day you shoot 85, like, what the hell?
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_04: But I think the biggest thing that we always share with our kids is that whatever you do does not define you.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_04: The values, your character, that's what defines you.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_04: So there's seasons of everything, whether the job, I mean, you went from Ronside, WWT, back to Ronside, that doesn't define you.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_04: It's what Drew defines himself as.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_04: How does he show up?
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_04: How's he as a dad, as a husband, a friend?
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_04: You know, and so I think like these are the things that I hope dads they take time to listen to these episodes, is you know, slow down, you know, the phrase of be where your feet are, be present, and be okay with saying maybe maybe there's a part of your dad game that's not where you want it.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, well, let's go do something about it.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I mean you hit you hit it right on the head.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_02: I think like obviously when you first have a kid, it's it's a wow, it's a it's a blur.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_02: And once I was able to get my head around that, like there's no playbook, right?
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_02: And every kid is different.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_02: What works for your friends doesn't necessarily mean it's gonna work for your kids.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_02: What works for your kids isn't necessarily going to work for anybody else.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, I think it's it's just natural for people, especially in like just the young kid community.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um my my wife has her mom tribe, right?
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and um it's just more about sharing stories.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like is my i the things that you worry about when they're that young are like, oh yeah, man, they're milestones, oh man, I think they're behind.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_02: It's like no, they're not.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_02: They're just a kid, right?
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_02: And they're developing on their own.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it's easy to get in your own head about you know, the kind of keeping up with the Joneses of and is my kid better than that, is is that kid better than my kid?
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_02: And then once you like take a step back and realize, like, everybody's just doing this shit on the fly.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody's figuring it out as well as right.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_02: And that was a big relief for me that we could go on our own path and decide how we're gonna make our kids be successful and have a good childhood, be a good family.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_02: You can do it your own way.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and and like however Logan's false season as a six-year-old, it doesn't matter.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_02: Doesn't matter.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_04: Does he have a red face?
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_04: Did he try his best?
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, and does he know mom and dad are gonna give him a hug afterwards?
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_04: And he he's probably most more concerned about as much as he's competitive, like most kids are at that age, but like, hey, can we get ice cream?
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_04: You know, and I think just like so often that youth sports is we've had I've done a lot of episodes on this where just the the love, the fun of the game has been taken because it's so much about winning and this and that, which I yeah, I mean, winning is important, and I want to win and everything, but also if they're not having fun, and are we doing it for us, are we doing it for them?
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, or they doing it for themselves.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_04: And I think these are like questions that we asked our kids a lot.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_04: Like, hey, listen, I always used to say dad's got zero eligibility left.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_04: So if if you don't want to put in the work, then don't do it, we're not gonna pay for these types of things.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_04: But if you're gonna do the work, here my expectation is you're gonna go grind, which but if you don't, then we're not gonna do it.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_04: Like a different hobby.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and you know, I heard that I heard that somewhere else too.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_02: The um I forget where it was, like it was somebody, it was it was two sides of it.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_02: It was put them in everything when they're young.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_02: Let them find what they're passionate about.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_02: And then at a certain age, whether it's yeah, I I forget the exact age that they said, but you know, nine or ten, um it no, it stops being about you getting them exposed to stuff and let them leave.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_02: Meaning, I'm not gonna force you to go to soccer class.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_02: I want you to get up in the morning and decide you want to go to soccer class.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_02: And the moment they lose that, I'm not gonna be the one that drives them there and forces them to go.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_03: 100%.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_04: Um, if you had to say through an area of your well, this is a question I was like asking dads that you know, back about being vulnerable.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_04: Well, tell me what would be an area of your dad game where you're like, man, you know, four and six almost, and or three and five, and like what would be an area that you're to say, man, this is an area that I know that I'm not my best, but I got I got still 15 years.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_04: I got some I got some time to make sure I'm getting better at this so that I I am that better quarterback of my home, that leader of my home.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_04: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man, um, we're almost out of it, but I've got the worst gag reflex.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_02: I almost puked changing a poop diaper this morning.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um if I can improve that now, I'm just gonna um uh no, I would, I would say my so it and it's a yin and yang situation.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_02: My wife is extremely good at it.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um she is so patient with both of our children where you know whether they're they're trying to do they're just trying to write for the first time or draw something, or um they're having a tantrum.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um she is so so so patient to let them work through it um on their own to actually you know learn how to use emotional skills, you learn how to use um you know, just hold the pencil the right way.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not good at that.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I need to improve the patience that I have when I'm with my kids to allow them to get it on their own.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_02: And shoot, we've been talking for weeks, man.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_02: That's my problem in work too.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_02: Is I gotta I gotta slow down and let my team um find solutions on their own.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_02: And tying it back to the kids, just because I draw an alligator or a dinosaur a certain way, and I think it looks good, doesn't mean that's the way that they should learn how to do it.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, it's it it's funny how that I just I feel like I just had that light bulb click off in or click on in my head about the correlation to work, but I would say patience.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_04: That was mine, my man, early on the journey.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_04: I still have to watch out for it.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_04: Patience gets the best of me.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_04: And uh, but I swear talking to so many dads, being open and honest about hey, I sometimes would you know overreact again, and where I would have these expectations of how the perfect day is gonna go, we're gonna take naps at this time, we're gonna do this, and at half the time it never freaking ended that way.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_04: It was a shit show.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_04: But it's like again, just slowing down to let the values drive us, not the emotions, and you know, just freaking go all in on those things.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_04: That's where I've learned that like life kind of slowed down and became a little bit more clear.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and you know, many dads I've talked to, patients is the number one answer of the gap.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_04: But it's it's in our control, though, if we just take a deep breath, or maybe we ask our wives, hey, how can I be more patient?
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_04: Or hey, when you see me lose my you know what, call me out on it and help me out because I don't want to be that guy.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_04: And my dad, rest in peace.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_04: He passed away December 29th, 2021.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_04: But he used to be my dad could drop the best, god damn it.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, he could just intense, god damn it, Casey.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_04: And it would like make us laugh, then we get scared, you know, and then he didn't ever beat us, you know, but like he just but he could so intimidating at times.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I didn't want to be that dude.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, yeah.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_02: My dad, my dad was funny, man.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_02: He he was he is extremely laid back, and he would never yell.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_02: He would never but when he did, it was hysterical.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_02: Because it was clear that like he like when you got him to a point where he was screaming about something, it was the entire family, including my mother, would laugh because it's just out of character, it's not who he is.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_02: And when he tries to be like intimidating like that.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's just it's comic.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_03: That's so funny.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_04: Um, okay.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_04: If you were let's fast forward, Logan and Hayden are 18 or graduating high school, pick three three things that if if based on how you and you and uh you and Whitney raised these kids, the the neighbors say, Man, Hayden and Logan, they are A, B, and C.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_04: How would how would you want them to be described?
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_03: Kind, responsible, trustworthy.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_04: Good ones, man.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_04: Love that.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_04: Love that.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_04: Talk about how did you get into the wide world of staffing?
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_02: So, all right.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_02: So circa I graduated college 20 uh 2009.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um I had been working uh winters and summers with a uh screw manufacturing company called Scorpion Fasteners uh right in right in town.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_02: One of my buddies worked there and got me a job um just out in the warehouse packing screws.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_02: And when I graduated in 2009, I really didn't want to know what I wanted to do.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_02: I graduated with a uh communications degree.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_02: The job market wasn't um wasn't like super hot.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um and you know, I didn't I didn't find a job right away.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_02: I knew I kind of wanted to do sales just because um, you know, I I felt like I had the right personality, the right work ethic.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, I did everything I heard about it that you know, like the work hard, play hard, you know, type of deal was appealing to me.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, I didn't get a job right away.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_02: And the uh manager uh or the owner of the the company walked out in the warehouse one day after I graduated and was like, hey Drew, um you get a college degree.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um you want to like come in the office and like learn some skills?
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_02: I know you're having a tough time getting a job.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_02: What if I kind of created a job for you to get it on your resume so that they basically made a job so that I could get it.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_02: And what that job was was basically um they slap down a yellow pages on the uh on the desk in front of me and put me up next to a um next to a phone and said, hey, go book meetings at um hardware stores and you know other uh distributors for all the outside sales guys all over New England.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I did that for like um 18 months.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, I I learned other other stuff too.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_02: I was doing inventory management, I was doing um uh working with their uh systems, which was AS400, believe it or not.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and you know, so did that for about a year.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then uh um Karen uh Karen came knocking on my uh on my door and said, Hey, we've got a job at Sapphire Technologies.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_02: Would you want to interview for it?
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um and you know, I uh I took that interview, I um interviewed in Hartford, Connecticut with a woman named uh Marianne Cariti, um, who was the branch manager in uh in the Hartford office, um, did well.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_02: And then I went up, uh drove up to Boston to interview with uh Terry O'Leary, Matt Conley, Brendan Ferrin, and Bo Batahi, uh and uh did well in that interview.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_02: They they hired me, but um you know I think what what drew me to uh staffing was uh and maybe maybe this sounds corny, but it's true.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um so growing up from like age eight, nine maybe on, at one point or another one of my uh parents was unemployed.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember specifically my dad being unemployed, he was he was the breadwinner and the amount of stress that uh I could tell was building on both of my parents trying to survive on one income and do all the other stuff that I was I've been talking about for the last 45 minutes, right?
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um and you know, the interactions that he would have with um, you know, whether it was internal recruiters or um external recruiters, you know, just I could tell like he was losing faith and like when he finally got a job after um I want to say, man, it had to have been almost two years of being unemployed.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_02: When he finally got a a job through a recruiting agency as a contractor, man, like the sense of relief that it gave my family was something that I could be passionate about.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so when I heard about Sapphire and I heard about staffing, I was like, man, this kind of hits home for me.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I know like a lot of times we kind of lose track of that, especially in this business, it becomes a lot more transactional, um, you know, more strategy focused.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what's the forecast?
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what's our head count?
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_02: But at its core, that's what our business is like helping people.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like we lose sight of that a lot of times.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_02: But I try to stay grounded in the fact that the service that we're delivering isn't only for our customers, but it it it's a life changer for a lot of people.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_02: In some cases, you know, maybe maybe it's not, but like that's how I view what I do is you're changing people's lives, good or bad.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_02: That's a lot of pressure.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_02: And um you know, that's what kind of drew me to staffing, and um started back in 2011 and I'm still here, man.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_04: I love that you remembered and called out all the people that were impactful for you in your in earlier in your career.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_04: That's awesome.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_04: And hopefully they'll listen to this and know how much you appreciate them.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and I love the the story that you shared, and I and I hope that that's a story that you share with your team when people are are wondering, do we believe what we do matters the sign behind me?
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_04: It's like that story is everything.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_04: Like that's why people are in the staffing business to change lives, to help help them.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_04: And it's not just about a transaction, it's about no, you're you're helping a family put food on the table, or you're helping getting a product out the door.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_04: You're if you and you really look for the belief can be a really meaningful line of work.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um and if you can be if you're passionate about something, you're so much better at selling it.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_02: I think if you're not passionate about something, you can't it it it's it's obvious.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_04: No, true, ma'am.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_04: All right, if you were to summarize kind of everything um we've talked about that dads could take maybe two or three actionable themes um that they could apply in their own life to come to become that ultimate quarterback or better leader of their home, Drew.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_04: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_02: Num number one, I think I mentioned it.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_02: There isn't a playbook, make your own.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_02: Get advice.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_02: Advice is advice, but it's not a directive.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_02: I think that especially if you're a new dad or a new parent, people come out of the woodwork with all their advice and all their life stories.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_02: And while those are definitely insightful, make it your own.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's it's it's your family, it's your kid.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um number two, be curious.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_02: I know you're I know you're gonna love that one, but it's so true, right?
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like your your kids are gonna ask you some of the most outrageous questions.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_02: And uh if you just answer the question or laugh it off, you know, that's fine.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_03: But ask why they asked that question, right?
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like what what made you ask that question?
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_02: Ask followers.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_02: Be be curious about um their day-to-day, who they're hanging out with.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_02: They want to talk about uh the the way my son's face lights up when I uh he he got into prehistoric planet, the uh the show on uh Apple TV and he usually just would watch it on his own.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I he came home from school one day and I was like, hey man, I watched that episode.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_02: You did?
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like show interest in what they're doing.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_02: Be curious about it, and you'll have more connection points.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um last thing is surround yourself and your kids with good people.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_02: And I know that's not always easy to do because a lot of times relationships can be forced, but you can select pockets of people that you spend uh important time with.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's it's not as important today for me, but I know growing up it was i what's it saying it takes a village, right?
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_02: But if that village isn't the right people, your kids are so much more influenced after a certain age.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_02: I know I was 16 and on by people outside of the house.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_02: And if if you can set them up in a good pod, that's super, super important.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_04: Gold ma'am, really, really, really, really, really well said.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_04: Uh it's now, Drew, to to go into what I call actually before we go in the lightning round, how can we make how can we allow people to learn more about what you and your amazing team at Ronstad does?
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_04: What's the best way people can find you?
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh LinkedIn, uh, email, um, Instagram, Snapchat, get at me wherever.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_02: We're doing some really, really cool stuff right now over at Ronstad.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, not only from a uh uh you know a staffing perspective, but also just from an overall technology and and digital standpoint, you know, a lot of really cool things that we're doing over here that um are being super, super impactful for our customers, right?
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_04: Love it, man.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_04: We'll make sure you're we're tech you're tagged uh in the show notes so people can find you easily.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_04: Um I know that I've taken a lot of notes, everybody.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_04: I hope you guys have as well.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_04: Drew, it's now time to go into the lightning round where I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_04: Your job is to answer them as quickly as you can, and my hope is to get a giggle out of you.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_02: All right, sounds good.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_04: Alright.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_04: True or false, you wear shin guards every Friday.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_03: False.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_03: False.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, it's not true.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_04: Um, if you were to uh score a goal against any country in the World Cup, who would it be?
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man, um gimme England.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, cross the bond, eh?
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_04: Um if there was to be one genre of music that might surprise your colleagues at Ronsad that you listen to, what would it be?
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man, my my music taste is got like multiple personality disorder, man, so I'm like all over the board.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_02: But I I would say um uh or rap maybe.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_04: I don't I don't know.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_04: There you go.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_04: Uh favorite comedy movie of all time is Super Troopers.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_04: If you were to take Whitney on vacation right now, no kids.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_04: Sorry, kids, you're gonna stay with grandma grandpa.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_04: Tell me where would you take her?
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_02: Take her to Lake Coma.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_04: And if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_02: Man, um Trials and Tribulations of a Skinny Kid.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_04: I like that.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I think that's gonna be a great movie.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_04: So Netflix is is fighting for this.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_04: They get the they get the the this the script.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_04: They're gonna make a movie out of this thing because this the book's been selling out everywhere.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_04: You are now the casting director.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_04: I need to know who's gonna star Drew Grouton, this critically acclaimed hit new movie on Netflix.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_04: Canning Tatum.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_04: There we go.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_04: I like that.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, and then last, the most important question tell me two words that would describe Whitney.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_04: Beautiful, smart.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_04: There we go.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_04: Lightning rounds complete.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_04: We both giggled a bit, but um, Drew, this has been so much fun.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_04: Fun to learn about you, your background, where you came from, uh, impact mom and dad had on you, um, how you got into staffing, the the joy and journey of soccer uh that taught you in sports, it's taught you so much.
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_04: Um I I'm I'm grateful that the the universe and our friends at Ronstadt brought us together, man.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_04: No, this is just a start of a friendship, and I'm excited to see you continue to grow in life and excited to see you continue to grow as a dad.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_04: And I just want to say thanks again for spending time with me today and sharing your story, man.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_04: I know there's a dad out there that got a lot out of our conversation today, so I appreciate you, brother.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate you, Casey, but you're you're hilarious if you think you're getting off this podcast without letting me ask you one question.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, well, here we go.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um you walk into a convention center, and I'm saying convention center on purpose, and that convention center is filled with every single person that you've met in your professional career.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_02: Who's the first person you're walking up to?
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_04: Client or could it be a consultant or from your consultant client?
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_02: That's why I said convention center.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_02: You met a lot of people.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_04: Uh it's gonna be a guy named Doug Arthur, who uh at 23 years old, he looked at me and said, Casey, what I'm gonna ask you a question that's gonna help you in life.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_04: Do you want to be right or do you want to get what you want?
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, I want both.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_04: He goes, You can't, you gotta pick one.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, huh.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_04: Didn't really understand what he was talking about, but I would say, I I want I want to get what I want.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_04: He's like, good answer.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_04: Make sure you answer that every time it'll help you in life.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_04: And I didn't realize how impactful that advice was because when I got into staffing, I said that to myself every single day, said it to my team every single day, talking about last night with my my one of my best buddies' wives, whose son's getting ready to go off to college, somehow got brought up, and we were talking about last night.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_04: So I would go up to up to him and just say, Man, thank you for instilling that wisdom on me because I've shared it with my kids, shared it with friends, and people are like, Oh, that's really good advice.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_04: I go, I didn't I didn't think of it.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_04: Guy named Doug Arthur out of it.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I've actually tried to track him down over the years and haven't been able to do it and why, and maybe he just went off the grid.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_04: But Doug Arthur for listening, man, that that piece of advice really, really impactful for me.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_02: That's awesome, man.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_04: All right.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I like curb bite for me.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_04: All right, everybody.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_04: Well, thank you again for listening.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_04: If you have not taken time to leave us a review, please do that.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_04: But Drew, appreciate you, brother.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_04: I know this is uh not the the last time we'll be talking, we'll be talking again soon, but uh enjoy the rest of your week and uh thanks again for spending time with us.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you, Casey.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_04: Well, thank you again, Drew, for joining us on this week's uh episode of the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_04: I hope everybody took some good notes like I did, as I mentioned.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_04: And I hope that you will please take time to go wherever you listen to this episode today, Spotify, Apple, and just take time to click on reviews, leave us a thoughtful review, leave us a rating, hopefully five stars, so we can help the algorithm find other dads to find us.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_04: But again, I really appreciate everybody listening week in and week out.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_04: Uh the audience continues to grow, and we are so grateful for you for you all here at the quarterback dadcast.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_04: So until then, we will see you next week, everybody.
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_04: Have a great night.