Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / Better communication, stronger connections, and guilt‑free limits (S5) S2:E6

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Better communication, stronger connections, and guilt‑free limits (S5) S2:E6 · Inspirations for Your Life

0:24
Well, hey guys and good evening.
0:27
It is John C.
0:27
Morley here, serial entrepreneur.
0:29
Great to be with you.
0:30
Happy New Year.
0:31
If this is your first time, join me
0:32
either this year or if you've never been
0:34
on the show before.
0:36
Welcome.
0:37
Happy New Year.
0:37
If you're coming back, of course, a happy,
0:39
healthy New Year to you as well.
0:41
And welcome back to the show.
0:43
This is the Inspirations for Your Life, the
0:46
Daily Motivational Show.
0:47
We've been on the air, guys, over four
0:49
years now celebrating, and eight days into the
0:53
new year.
0:53
Really happy about that.
0:55
Hope you guys all had an amazing holiday
0:57
and it was fun for you, family and
1:00
friends.
1:01
And I do want to encourage you to
1:03
check out BelieveMeAchieve.com for more of my
1:06
amazing, inspiring creations right after the show is
1:09
over.
1:09
You can get my short form, my long
1:10
form, articles, and so much more, reels, and
1:13
a lot more.
1:13
So check that out.
1:15
If you're thirsty, feel free to go grab
1:16
yourself something and come on back, get cozy,
1:19
whether it's a hot cocoa, whether it's water,
1:22
whether it's a snack, chocolate, fruit, healthy or
1:25
not, that's totally up to you.
1:27
So without any further ado, guys, let's kick
1:29
the show off.
1:30
So this is the Inspirations for Your Life
1:32
show.
1:33
And today we're focusing all about productivity.
1:36
And of course, you know it's hosted by
1:37
me, John C.
1:39
Morley, serial entrepreneur.
1:40
I'm also an engineer.
1:42
I'm a marketing specialist.
1:43
I'm a video producer, a podcast host, a
1:46
coach, a graduate student, and yes, guys, a
1:49
passionate, lifelong learner.
1:52
And it's my privilege and pleasure to be
1:53
here with you tonight.
1:55
Your focus is your most valuable asset.
1:59
And tonight, we're locking it down together.
2:02
So stop procrastinating, everyone.
2:05
Work smarter and make every minute count with
2:09
these 30 strategies that I'm going to share
2:12
with you right now.
2:13
Protect one 25-minute block like it's a
2:17
meeting with your future.
2:20
Remove one distraction instead of adding three new
2:25
apps.
2:26
If it takes less than two minutes, well,
2:29
do it now.
2:30
Don't start the day with everyone else's agenda.
2:35
Notifications on, you get the point, right?
2:38
Task switch, less.
2:41
Finish more.
2:42
A lot of people think that when they're
2:44
multitasking, I don't know, these big billion-dollar
2:47
companies that are having people do chat sessions,
2:50
and they think they're saving money.
2:52
Maybe they are, but they're really offering really
2:54
terrible customer service.
2:56
Yeah, that's the problem.
3:00
Ask this question.
3:02
What is the one thing that would move
3:08
everything else forward for you?
3:11
Now, that may not be an easy question.
3:14
You might not know the answer right away.
3:15
You might have to ponder on it.
3:17
Okay.
3:18
Your brain is not meant to be in
3:22
12 tabs at once.
3:25
Make a two-day list, not a two
3:28
-life list.
3:28
I think these are very, very important things
3:32
that we need to be understanding, but I
3:34
think sometimes people, well, they get a little
3:38
bit bogged down, okay?
3:41
Why?
3:43
It's just the way they are.
3:45
Perfectionism isn't just procrastination, guys.
3:47
It's wearing a fancy coat.
3:49
Well, you don't need the fancy coat.
3:52
We've talked about silencing the apps before.
3:56
Turning off your notifications for 24 hours.
3:58
Can you do that?
4:00
I think sometimes we try to refine something,
4:03
but then we get more inundated, and we
4:06
don't know how to proceed.
4:08
I've talked to you before about working in
4:10
chunks or sprints, right?
4:14
And so, don't worry about what's coming next
4:17
week.
4:18
Worry about what you're doing at this moment.
4:20
You're not unmotivated.
4:21
You're unclear, and I think we've all gotten
4:24
unclear before, right?
4:26
Being unclear doesn't really feel good.
4:28
It feels icky, right?
4:31
It's like we don't know how to proceed.
4:33
Have you ever had those mornings where you
4:35
get up, maybe you came back from a
4:37
trip or something, and there's like all this
4:39
stuff that's piling up on you, and you
4:43
don't exactly know what to do?
4:45
All you know is that, where the heck
4:47
do I start, right?
4:50
Do you know when your best time is?
4:52
Is it during the day, or is it
4:54
at night?
4:56
See, you need to learn when your most
4:58
productive time is, so you can do those
5:00
hardest tasks then.
5:03
Confusion is not an excuse, okay, for being
5:07
able to progress forward.
5:11
You can choose to learn different things in
5:13
your life, but what you can't do is
5:17
go back and redo what you've already done.
5:21
Can you do it again?
5:22
Sure, but you can't undo something, like maybe
5:26
you made a first impression, and it was
5:28
terrible.
5:29
Can't go back and redo it.
5:32
When I say the word priorities, what comes
5:36
to mind?
5:37
Well, I think what should pop in your
5:39
head are things like maybe the three most
5:43
important things you've got to get done, right?
5:46
When you get up in the morning, what's
5:47
the most important thing to you?
5:49
To me?
5:51
Getting out of bed and rising comfortably, you
5:55
know, not bouncing out with an alarm, but
5:57
just gently getting up and feeling more than
6:01
alert, not tired, and I think when I
6:05
feel these things, life changes a little bit
6:09
for me, and then what happens next?
6:11
Well, then next, I usually want to get
6:14
up, and I could have breakfast.
6:16
I could be doing lots of different things,
6:19
guys, okay?
6:20
I mean lots of different things, and I
6:23
think if we can understand what these things
6:26
are, then maybe our life could be just
6:29
a little bit easier, okay?
6:31
A little bit easier, and I know sometimes
6:35
we get stuck.
6:36
We all get stuck in this maze of
6:40
life, don't we, and I think that could
6:42
be a current problem, right?
6:47
I think that's something that a lot of
6:53
people don't really understand, okay?
7:03
I think sometimes people don't really understand what's
7:10
happening, okay?
7:16
I think that's a very, very big problem,
7:21
and I know that a lot of you
7:24
are saying to me, John, like, you know,
7:26
that can't always be, but I'm here to
7:28
tell you that it can, and so I
7:32
think you need to realize what's going on
7:36
in your life, okay?
7:40
What's going on in your life, because sometimes
7:43
life is just not the way it's supposed
7:47
to be, okay?
7:52
Right, I think that can be a very,
7:55
very big problem, so what is it that
7:59
you do?
8:00
How do you do things?
8:02
I think that can come down to a
8:07
mess for some people, okay?
8:11
A mess because sometimes people just don't get
8:17
things, all right?
8:20
They don't necessarily understand what it means.
8:25
They don't know how that's going to work,
8:28
and I think that's a very, very big
8:32
problem for a lot of people, so that's
8:37
something I want you to understand, and I
8:41
know sometimes you're probably going to have a
8:42
hard time with this, but I want to
8:45
be very clear with you that you need
8:48
to be doing the right things, okay?
8:52
And these are things that you can do
8:54
because you need to understand those priorities, right?
9:00
So, I get up in the morning.
9:02
I take a little break.
9:06
I stretch.
9:07
Usually, I'll do some exercises, weights, other types
9:12
of body exercises.
9:14
I'll have breakfast.
9:15
I'll take a shower, right, and I'll get
9:22
in line with things.
9:25
Your environment should make the right work easy
9:28
to start.
9:29
You shouldn't be getting inundated by problems, right?
9:33
What happens when you open a million tabs
9:36
in your browser?
9:37
Well, I'll tell you what happens.
9:38
It's like you get completely lost.
9:40
You don't know what to do, and that's
9:44
a that's a very, very big, big problem,
9:49
a problem that a lot of people don't
9:53
actually realize because you get inundated with things
9:58
that aren't even related to what you're working
10:00
on, and then we get the syndrome of,
10:04
you know, busy or being effective.
10:08
A lot of people tell me, John, I'm
10:10
busy.
10:11
I don't have time, but I want to
10:14
ask you a question.
10:15
When you tell me you're busy, are you
10:18
really busy, or are you just trying to
10:23
seem important?
10:29
When people are busy, everyone assumes that they're
10:31
successful.
10:32
That's not always the case, okay?
10:35
I don't want to be very clear with
10:37
you on that right now.
10:38
Start with the frog, as I've said before,
10:42
the one uncomfortable task.
10:45
Do your hardest thing first, and everything else
10:48
will just become so much easier for you.
10:56
It'll be a lot easier for you, and
10:59
I hope that'll make some sense.
11:01
I hope.
11:04
We have to measure our day on what
11:06
we did, not what we didn't do, right?
11:12
We're always analyzing what we didn't do, but
11:15
then we don't praise ourselves for what we
11:17
did do.
11:19
I think that's a very important thing that
11:23
a lot of people, like, they just don't
11:27
get it, okay?
11:35
That's important to know, guys.
11:37
It's important to know that sometimes we just
11:39
don't get things because, well, we don't get
11:41
them.
11:42
Not because we don't want to get them,
11:44
but just because, well, we don't get them.
11:47
If we don't get something, how is it
11:50
that we're supposed to move forward?
11:53
Like, how?
11:57
I think sometimes when we think about these
12:02
things, I think people get a little bit
12:08
lost, all right?
12:11
They get lost because what they're doing is
12:18
not truly in alignment with who they are.
12:22
Does that make sense?
12:25
So that's very, very important to realize, and
12:33
I want you to understand that right now.
12:39
It's about truth.
12:42
It's about true truth.
12:44
That's important, guys.
12:48
And truth is something that we all learn
12:50
at different stages in our life.
12:52
Sometimes the truth that we pick up is
12:56
not what we are bargaining for, but somehow
13:00
it connects us.
13:03
See, the way we communicate in life doesn't
13:07
just come from our mouth.
13:09
It comes from our body language.
13:12
So not just what we say, how we
13:14
say, but what we don't say.
13:17
The most important thing is what we don't
13:19
say.
13:19
It's actually our body language.
13:20
The next important thing is how we say
13:22
it.
13:23
The least important thing is what we say.
13:29
And I think when we can relate these
13:31
little nuances together, our life can change a
13:36
lot.
13:40
When we know that we're working towards something
13:43
and we get stuck, that's not the time
13:48
to say, hey, I don't know what to
13:51
do.
13:52
These are important things, guys, and you can
13:58
literally find stuff and you can find out
14:02
what's on if, okay, if, big if, if
14:07
you know what's going on, okay?
14:12
I think sometimes people, again, get lost in
14:19
the shuffle.
14:22
And the reason they get lost is because
14:25
they get misdirected.
14:27
They think they're trying to go from A
14:30
to Z, but in actuality, they've got to
14:33
get from one to a hundred.
14:36
What am I saying to you?
14:37
I'm saying that the destination that we're looking
14:42
for might not be the path we're on.
14:49
We might be trying to get to, oh,
14:53
I don't know, let's say, northern United States,
14:59
but we're on a roadway that doesn't go
15:02
that way, that goes opposite that direction.
15:05
And we figure this out either by some
15:11
stroke of luck, somebody says something to us,
15:16
right?
15:16
Or we get this sense that, hmm, I
15:20
think I've been around this tree a few
15:21
times.
15:22
Do you ever remember?
15:23
I remember in Scouts a lot of times
15:24
we'd go around a tree and the famous
15:27
thing I said, everybody, okay, so we've gone
15:28
around this tree before.
15:29
No, we haven't, John.
15:30
We've been doing this longer than you have.
15:32
Okay.
15:33
We walk this trail all the time.
15:34
Okay.
15:35
So it's getting dark now.
15:36
We're walking around, we're at that tree again.
15:38
I'm like, we're at this tree again.
15:40
No, it's not the same tree.
15:42
It's a different tree.
15:43
All right.
15:44
I have an idea, guys.
15:46
Why don't we mark the tree?
15:49
Tie a rope around it or make a
15:52
mark on it.
15:53
So we decided to tie a rope around
15:54
it.
15:56
And guess what happened in another 30, 40
15:58
minutes?
15:59
We're back at the tree again.
16:01
Guys, I think we're at the same tree
16:03
again.
16:06
Yeah, I guess we should go the other
16:08
way.
16:14
So that becomes a challenge for a lot
16:16
of people.
16:18
They don't want to admit that they don't
16:21
know where they're going.
16:23
But you know, there's no crime or shame
16:26
in not knowing where you're going.
16:31
The problem is not asking for help.
16:36
I've learned there's a lot of people in
16:37
this world that want to help you.
16:39
And there's also some people in the world
16:40
that couldn't care less about helping you.
16:45
But if you align yourself, you will connect
16:49
with those people that really want to help
16:52
you.
16:56
And it comes by a certain alignment that
16:59
we do.
17:02
I think that's an important piece.
17:06
If that alignment puts you in a certain
17:08
direction, then now you understand what's going on
17:12
in life.
17:13
You're not guessing anymore.
17:17
Sometimes we deceive ourselves on purpose, because we
17:26
don't really want to know the answer, right?
17:30
You've ever been in school, maybe it was
17:32
a hard class, and you don't really want
17:36
to get the test back.
17:42
And then you finally had to face the
17:46
music, it's time to get the test back.
17:51
Maybe you're concerned about how you did.
17:54
Maybe you didn't do as well as you
17:55
expected.
17:58
Maybe you're afraid that now you're going to
17:59
need extra help.
18:03
Maybe you're afraid what other people are going
18:04
to say.
18:05
But your grade's not something that's supposed to
18:08
be put on a bulletin board.
18:09
It's your private business.
18:11
If you want to share it, that's fine.
18:15
But it's your business.
18:19
I remember a student coming to me, and
18:22
another student coming to me, and he's saying,
18:24
what'd you get?
18:25
I said, I don't want to, I don't
18:26
really want to share it.
18:28
He said, oh, so you failed.
18:31
I said, I just don't want to share
18:33
it.
18:34
And so he started telling people, oh yeah,
18:36
he failed the test, he's supposed to be
18:37
so smart, he failed it.
18:39
And so the teacher comes back and says,
18:44
no, he didn't fail it.
18:46
Oh, he barely passed by the skin of
18:47
his teeth.
18:51
And the teacher looks at me, and I
18:52
look at her, and I just, I nod,
18:54
and she's like, nope, he got an A
18:58
plus.
19:00
I said, I told you, I just didn't
19:02
want to share it.
19:07
Sometimes people share things because they're hoping they're
19:11
going to impress you.
19:13
I've learned you don't have to impress people
19:15
anymore.
19:17
If they don't like you for who you
19:19
are, and you got to put on this
19:21
communication sob story, is that really somebody that
19:26
you want in your life?
19:27
I mean, let's be truthful.
19:31
Communication.
19:34
If we ask Merriam-Webster, and this is
19:36
where I'm going with this, right, and we
19:37
look up the word communication according to Merriam
19:40
-Webster, we're going to get a very interesting
19:44
definition.
19:48
Communication, it's a noun.
19:50
The act or process of using words, sounds,
19:53
signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information,
19:57
or to express thoughts, feelings, et cetera, to
20:00
another person.
20:05
Communication is a verbal or written message, but
20:11
it doesn't have to be verbal either, right?
20:13
It could be sign language.
20:16
You all know the game charades, don't you?
20:18
Sure.
20:20
Communications is a technique for expressing ideas effectively,
20:24
such as in a speech, when I give
20:25
keynotes, right?
20:31
Communicational, right?
20:35
It's an adjective.
20:37
Communicational is more about the manner in which
20:41
we deliver it, the vehicle.
20:47
I think sometimes we're waiting for that pat
20:53
on our back, and when we don't get
20:57
it, we've done so well, we lose hope.
21:03
But why do you ever need the pat
21:05
on the back?
21:06
Why can't you pat yourself on the back?
21:11
You see, people will eventually pat you on
21:13
the back after you patted yourself on the
21:16
back enough times, because, see, that's going to
21:21
get you to take a stance.
21:24
It's going to get you to grow.
21:29
Again, nobody really wants to support you when
21:31
you're starting.
21:32
I use this analogy all the time.
21:36
If the plane is still on the runway,
21:39
or the train is still in the station,
21:44
nobody cares.
21:49
People will have their handouts asking you for
21:51
things, but unless you can help them, you
21:58
don't matter, and that's a horrible thing.
22:04
But I've learned over the years that people
22:08
that act like that don't deserve a spot
22:10
in my life.
22:12
Now, it's not to be nasty, but we've
22:15
talked about energy so many times, right?
22:17
And energy is something that we've got to
22:20
cherish, like our multi-billion dollars.
22:24
It's so valuable.
22:30
I think when you appreciate who you are,
22:33
what you do, others will start to do
22:37
that, too.
22:40
I think when you can wake up in
22:43
the morning and say, wow, I'm pretty smart.
22:49
I'm intelligent.
22:50
I'm creative.
22:51
I'm unique.
22:54
I'm special.
22:56
We're all special.
22:58
It's just we have to figure out what
23:00
our gifts are, and when we figure out
23:04
what our gifts are, guess what happens?
23:08
We can choose to share those with the
23:10
world.
23:10
Now, we don't have to do it for
23:11
free.
23:12
We can do it like in a business,
23:13
right?
23:14
But our gifts are what give us meaning
23:18
and purpose in this world.
23:23
They're going to be people that are going
23:25
to abuse your gifts, and so you say,
23:29
so long.
23:30
Bye-bye.
23:31
I think when we sense that, the best
23:37
thing I could tell you to do is
23:38
to pull back.
23:42
I've done that a few places where I
23:44
knew people were abusing John.
23:48
I said this phrase before.
23:50
Please don't take my kindness for weakness, or
23:53
you'll be sorry.
23:55
So people that did that, I wasn't nasty
23:57
to them, but I just became unavailable.
24:03
I became busy.
24:05
I became hard to reach.
24:11
When you help a friend, is that friend
24:17
there for you or vice versa?
24:20
Because if the street goes one way, it's
24:24
not give and take, the friendship's going to
24:27
break.
24:27
The rope is going to break.
24:28
If we pull too hard on the rope
24:30
in one direction and we don't give, the
24:32
rope's going to eventually break, and maybe people
24:37
don't understand this analogy because they think if
24:42
they keep taking, taking, taking, taking, they can
24:43
keep taking, but that supply's going to be
24:47
turned off if you don't give.
24:52
In my lifetime, I've been very fortunate to
24:54
learn about some very nice people, but I've
24:57
also learned they're takers, people that say they're
25:01
going to do things for you, but they
25:02
don't, people that make promises on a handshake,
25:05
and then they fall through.
25:09
These aren't the people you take to court.
25:12
These are the people that you've learned a
25:15
hard lesson from and that you know you
25:21
barely want to be acquaintances, so maybe you're
25:24
being polite, but you're not, how can I
25:29
say, so captivated by them before as you
25:32
used to be.
25:33
You find out that they're just, well, full
25:36
of bull, to be honest.
25:42
And when we can express something, it means
25:46
a lot.
25:48
I get a lot of people that reach
25:50
out and say, hey, John, can you help
25:51
with this?
25:52
And my response is, sure, I'll be happy
25:54
to give you five or 10 minutes.
25:58
Once it goes past five or 10 minutes,
26:01
it becomes billable in my industry.
26:07
You also get the people that coincide, oh,
26:09
I have a question on this, I have
26:09
a question on that.
26:11
I had to literally set some of my
26:13
friends straight.
26:14
I thought we're friends, they weren't.
26:16
I let them know, hey, I'm happy to
26:17
help you.
26:18
I'm happy to answer a question once in
26:20
a while.
26:22
Becomes more than twice a week or more
26:26
than five minutes, I'm going to have to
26:28
start billing you for consulting.
26:30
They laughed.
26:32
I said, try it.
26:33
You'll get a bill.
26:36
And again, it's not to be nasty.
26:38
It's because our time and our worth is
26:41
so precious in this world that we all
26:45
deserve to be treated with the utmost respect.
26:53
So communication, although it might seem like a
26:56
game, it's a volley of respect.
27:01
Whether you play tennis like myself, or you
27:03
played pickleball, or you played racquetball, it's a
27:08
volley back and forth.
27:10
It's not a slam dunk the ball in
27:12
the net.
27:13
It's a volley back, forth, back, forth, forth.
27:17
I like to call it an ebb and
27:19
a flow, like water down a mountain stream.
27:26
And many of you know that I'm writing
27:28
a book.
27:29
I'm not going to get into that now.
27:30
But the more I get into the book,
27:33
the more that I start to think about
27:36
these lessons that I want to share with
27:37
all of you, and how I know my
27:41
book is going to make an impact on
27:42
many people's lives.
27:44
I've said to people this many times.
27:46
I've said, look, you can love me, you
27:47
can hate me, or you can move on.
27:50
But I'm not going to tolerate disrespect.
27:53
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm John C.
27:54
Moore, a serial entrepreneur.
27:55
Be sure to check out BelieveMeAchieve.com for
27:58
more of my amazing, inspiring creations.
27:59
You guys have a great one.
28:00
And remember, when you communicate, do it effectively.
28:04
And always be mindful and respectful of who
28:07
and how you're communicating with them.