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633 | Guard Your Speech · The Woman at the Well Ministries Podcast

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  Hello, friends, and welcome back to another podcast of Woman at the Well Ministries.
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  Where we believe that all of us have to come to Jesus like the woman at the well in John chapter 4.
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  Our highest priority is making God real in your life. Whether you are listening
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  in our app, in your favorite podcasting app, or on our website at watwm.org,
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  we invite you to sit down with us as we look to the scriptures to learn more
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  about God and to strengthen your daily walk with Jesus Christ.
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  Every born-again believer has been given the charge to be an encourager.
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  We must stop to consider the words we say and make sure the intent of our speech is approved by God.
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  Ephesians 4.29 says, Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth,
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  but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
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  Simply put, we are to only speak those words which give grace to the hearers.
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  Join Kim Miller of Women at the Well Ministries as she explains how we can use
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  our words as God intended and bring encouragement to all with whom we communicate.
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  Hello, and thank you for joining us in this podcast of Women at the Well Ministries.
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  It seems like such a simple topic that we are going to discuss today.
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  All of us probably at some point in our life had someone say to us,
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  guard your ears and guard your mouth.
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  We've had somebody say, be careful what you hear and what you listen to.
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  Be careful what you say.
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  But we may not have had someone sit down beside of us and walk us through the
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  scriptures to let us understand why those two,
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  events, guarding your heart from what it hears and your ears from what it hears,
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  and guarding your mouth from what it says is so important.
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  And when we even speak to people about that, that perhaps maybe understand scripture
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  or have been exposed to it more often,
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  they almost always immediately go to profane and foul language,
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  which is certainly true that we are not to have that as Christians,
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  and it's not becoming of a child of God or an ambassador of the Most High God.
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  But it's not the only thing that he means when he indicates all through Scripture,
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  that we should be careful with the words that we say.
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  Let's pray. Our kind and most gracious, your heavenly Father,
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  Lord, we come to you with thankful hearts that when we ask, we receive,
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  when we seek, we find, and when we knock, you'll open up all of heaven for us.
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  And Lord, that you never leave us or forsake us. So today, Lord,
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  I ask that you would open our minds to hear what you have to say in this message.
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  But, Lord, I'm asking specifically that you would help us to attach our heart
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  and our mind to the truths of why you give us words,
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  and why we have the gift of speech.
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  And, Lord, that we would be convicted today and committed in our heart.
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  To use our words for your good and your glory. Lord, be in this message,
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  we pray. Remove me as far as the east is from the west.
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  Lord, we love you, we praise you, and we thank you. In Jesus' name, we pray.
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  As we begin to look at this message that we're taking out of Ephesians 4 and
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  verse 29, I want you to listen.
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  To this verse in Luke 6, verse 45.
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  And I want you to allow that to be the lens at which you look at everything
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  else that we talk about and the lens through which everything else you hear is filtered.
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  And in Luke 6, 45, he says this, a good man
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  out of the good treasure of his heart, bring it forth that which is good and
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  an evil man out of the treasure of his heart, bring it forth that which is evil
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  for of the abundance of the heart,
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  his mouth speaketh.
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  That's what we're talking about when we say guard what you hear.
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  Guard what you see, so that then you can guard and manage what you say.
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  Because we must guard our hearts so that what comes out of our mouth is good, gracious, and of God.
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  Because left to our own sinful, wicked devices and our fleshly self,
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  we would surely speak harshly, negatively,
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  and certainly would not be preoccupied with the purpose of using our words to help someone else.
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  You must guard your heart purposely,
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  regulating what comes out of it by regulating what comes into it.
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  And then you'll guarantee what comes out of it will be acceptable and pleasing to the Lord.
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  In other words, watch what you feel yourself with.
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  Because out of the abundance of our heart, that's what we speak.
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  That's how we respond. That's our default.
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  We have to make sure that we are feeding on the Word of God,
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  that we are feasting on the word of God, that we are spending time praying without ceasing,
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  staying in the will of God so that we can be instruments of his grace, his mercy, and his love.
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  Today's text comes out of Ephesians chapter 4, verse 29, and this is how it
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  reads, Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good
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  to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace
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  unto the hearers.
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  Ephesians 4.29 is a practical guide for
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  all of us concerning how we are to communicate and how we are to speak.
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  It tells us that no corrupt communication should come out of our mouth.
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  In other words, nothing that is foul, rotten, corrupt, or negative should be,
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  what's coming out of our mouth. That shouldn't be the discourse of our conversations.
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  People should not see you coming and think, oh my goodness, here comes Debbie Downer.
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  They shouldn't see you coming and try to find cover because they're going to
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  be dodging the bullets that your mouth are spewing out at them.
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  It means, literally, the word that is used for corrupt in Ephesians 4.29,
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  something that is rotten, putrid, or decaying.
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  So Paul is warning us in Ephesians 4.29 that we are not to cause decay in another
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  person's life by the words that we choose.
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  And let's just settle in there for a moment.
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  We've all felt the sting of harsh words.
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  We all probably know someone that we're pretty certain that they say things
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  as harshly and as negatively as possible.
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  As Christians, that should never be said about us because we are not to let
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  this putrid, decaying, negative conversation be what we are known for.
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  We are to be known for spreading the love, grace, and mercy of Jesus Christ.
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  And where is the love of God in a harsh, disparaging conversation?
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  It's not there.
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  And where would you and I be if when we went to the Lord in prayer and began
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  to pour our heart out to him, he responded in the same manner at which we respond to others?
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  That's a real question. that some of us are so negative and so mean and so harsh,
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  that every conversation turns into a confrontation, that every conversation
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  makes somebody walk away feeling badly.
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  But Ephesians 4.29 tells us that we should avoid that.
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  Instead, we should be using our words to build others up, encouraging those,
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  to whom we are speaking, and to introduce God's grace,
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  into our conversations and into the lives of those with whom we are communicating.
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  When's the last time you purposely introduced God's grace into a conversation?
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  One of the quickest ways that you can ruin your reputation and kill your witness,
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  is with your words, because your words will indicate the condition of your heart.
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  Because out of the abundance of your heart, the mouth speaketh.
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  We've all been in situations where we were frustrated.
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  We've all been in situations where someone isn't meeting our expectations where someone isn't,
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  performing like we think they should, and especially when it's a service or
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  something we've purchased and we've got a lot of money on the line, we really want,
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  to correct that behavior in a hurry.
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  I recently made a purchase and I felt like it was a lot of money,
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  and so I wanted my money's worth and I wanted the people who were delivering
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  it to do it in such a way that was professional,
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  and to my standards.
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  And I wanted them to communicate with me in a way.
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  That I felt someone who had paid for that should be communicated to.
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  And within the first few moments of that person arriving to my home,
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  to be perfectly honest with you, they'd already ticked me off.
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  They didn't like where I wanted it placed.
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  They didn't like how they wanted it placed. And no more than 20 minutes into
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  the time that we're together in a situation that I know is going to take four
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  to six hours, the man is already talking about how he needs to be home,
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  that he has to leave by a certain time, and that time that he was telling me
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  that he needed to leave by was not going to be enough time for them to adequately,
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  deliver and set up what I had purchased.
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  So within a half an hour, I'm hot because I don't want them rushing through this.
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  And frankly, it's none of their business where I'm putting it.
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  I purchased it, put it where I want it.
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  And it just put me in this attitude of who do you think you are?
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  And as I heard my head say not my mouth who do you think you are,
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  I heard the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings and the Holy Spirit within me
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  say do you remember who you are,
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  you are a child of the Most High God and you represent me at all times,
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  guard your mouth put a smile on your face because circumstances and situations
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  do not dictate the condition of your heart. I do.
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  I am the Lord thy God, and in me you will find your joy, and you will represent
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  me as my child, bearing my name.
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  So I quickly snapped into shape, but my heart was still not happy,
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  and I did not retort I didn't say anything I did.
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  Explain where I wanted it and told him that's where he needed to put it but
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  I didn't say anything else,
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  but the longer I sit there while they were moving things around and installing
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  it I'll be honest with you the more angry I got.
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  And I desperately wanted to say something. Kim Miller wanted to say something.
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  But I remember Jesus not necessarily whispering in my heart,
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  but pretty much shouting to me, do you know who you are?
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  And so instead, I decided to ask the man if he wanted something to drink.
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  And so I asked him if he would like to have a soda or a bottle of water.
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  And he promptly looked really interestingly at me and he said well if that's
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  a real offer i'd like to have a bottle of soda,
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  so i got up and i walked into the house and i retrieved what he wanted to drink
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  and i got what i wanted to drink,
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  and before i walked out i prayed that the lord would help me,
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  to give this man this in the spirit of love and grace and mercy,
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  not because I cared about giving him something to drink, but because I was sitting out there
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  boiling inside because this man had not met my expectations.
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  The man with him was amazing.
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  So I walked out and I handed this soda to this man, and when I handed it to
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  him, he broke like a child being
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  chastised by his mother, thinking he was never going to see her again.
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  And there I stood, I'm sure looking pretty perplexed, graciously thankful to
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  the Lord that I had not contributed to this man's mental and emotional breakdown.
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  And the man beside of him said, he needs a minute. He's going through something bad.
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  And so I set his drink down, and I walked over and sat down, and he came over.
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  And with tears falling down his eyes, he explains to me his wife had just left him.
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  She had emptied out his bank account. He was the love of her life,
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  and he could not understand how he was going to go forward.
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  And everything in this world seemed inconsequential to him, except trying to
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  get the love of his life to love him again.
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  And again, I was so grateful that I, too, had not rejected him.
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  I, too, had not belittled him.
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  I, too, had not disappointed him. And I, too, had not done anything but meet
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  his expectations until I gave him the drink.
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  In which case I exceeded his expectations and his fragile emotional state,
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  saw that as an attitude of love, and he was overwhelmed by it.
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  And as he began to speak,
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  a very tall man. I'm a very short lady. And I looked way up, strained my neck.
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  I said, sir, Jesus loves you.
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  And I'm giving you a soda. And before this day is out, you're going to be thirsty again.
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  But he'll give you water. And you'll never thirst again. And he will love you and never stop.
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  And he will cause you to love others even when you don't want to.
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  I patted him on the shoulder and walked over to my chair and didn't say anything else.
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  But when I was sitting in my chair watching them continue to work and his entire
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  countenance change and his attitude and everything perked up and the man that
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  was with him looked over at me, didn't say anything.
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  I sit in that chair thanking the Lord that in that first 30 minutes,
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  I had not blown my witness.
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  I had not acted out of flesh, but instead, I guarded my heart, and I guarded my mouth.
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  And at the first moments of time, I was not using my mouth to edify and build
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  him up, but at least I wasn't using it to tear him down.
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  I had purposed in my heart.
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  To be an ambassador for the Most High God. And so I had the purpose to use my
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  words to build others up.
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  See, it's not just about cursing. I think all of us know that we're not to curse.
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  I don't think that's anything that's new. I think we know that.
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  Because being a Christian is to be Christ-like.
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  So every Christian should talk different than those in the world.
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  You need to engage in doing good things like he did in Acts chapter 10 and verse 38.
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  But more importantly, you have to use your words as a constructive tool to build
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  others up, to encourage them, and to help them grow in the Lord.
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  I gave him a bottle of Coca-Cola, but got to give him words of eternal life.
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  There are times in your life that you do have to course correct,
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  but you need to do it lovingly, using words of wisdom that is sprinkled with grace.
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  You've got to learn to comfort those who need comforting, pray with those who
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  are in need, and speak words of affirmation to those who are lacking confidence.
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  You need to use your words to
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  speak kindness and truth into the lives of others in every conversation.
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  Bring Jesus in by bringing his love in. And sometimes that means giving someone
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  a bottle of water, giving them someone a bottle of soda, letting them sit down for a few minutes.
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  But it always means giving them room and space for grace.
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  Nothing he had done in those first 30 minutes honestly affected my life negatively.
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  It irritated my pride. It stung my flesh.
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  And I probably was having a moment of buyer's remorse, so I wanted it to be
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  all that and a bag of chips, including how it was going to become.
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  Friends, every day we have to be an instruments of God's love,
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  mercy, and grace to all with whom we communicate.
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  I may never see this man again, but I pray to God I see him in heaven.
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  I pray to God that something in that conversation, however short it was,
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  causes him to seek Jesus in his situation.
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  Hours passed.
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  He went to do something in the truck and his partner looked over at me and he
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  said, I know you were frustrated.
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  He said, I would have been myself.
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  He said, and you didn't know his story. And he said, I didn't know how to tell
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  you his story because I thought you looked like you might be compassionate.
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  If you just knew his story, you wouldn't let him have it. He said,
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  but I was sitting there thinking, this lady is going to let this man have it,
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  and I don't know how I'm going to get him home.
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  He said, but instead, you let him have it. You let him have space to be upset,
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  grace to feel what he was feeling.
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  And he said, you offered him something that changed who he was.
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  He said, thank you. He said, I've been trying all day long, but I haven't got it done.
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  See, Ephesians 4.29 is more than just about what you don't say and what you do say.
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  It's emphasizing that the words that you are using are a direct reflection of
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  who you are and a demonstration of the relationship you have with Jesus Christ.
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  It's your walking billboard people are looking to see if your actions align
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  with your words you can walk any which way you want to but if it doesn't line
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  up with your talk you don't have much influence.
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  2 Corinthians 5.17, he says this, Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature.
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  Old things are passed away.
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  Behold, all things are become new.
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  In Ephesians 4.29, here's what he says again.
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  Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good
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  to the use of edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
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  The world will tear you down.
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  The world will make you feel horrible. The world will tell you what you can't do.
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  The world will tell you how bad whatever you did was. The world will completely
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  explain to you everything it can to make you feel as badly about yourself as possible.
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  There's no space for that in God's family.
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  There's no room for that within our work that God has called us to do.
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  So that old adage we've heard our whole life, think before you speak, how about we employ it?
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  Take a moment and ask yourself, are these words I'm getting ready to say going
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  to accurately depict in truth that I am a born-again believer following the
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  will of God. That's your job.
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  Let your light so shine before men that your good works will glorify your Father.
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  Ask yourself, would Jesus be pleased with the words that are coming out of my
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  mouth and the condition of my heart that they reflect?
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  Because they do reflect.
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  Be conscious of the fact that your responsibility as a child of God is to use
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  your words to benefit others, point them to Jesus, and to introduce them to the grace of God.
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  Guard your mouth.
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  Doesn't mean just don't use profanity.
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  It means don't use words that decay and corrupt the morale, the confidence,
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  the soul and spirit of another.
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  Make no mistake, your words tell the truth about your relationship with God,
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  His Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.
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  Use your words wisely. Guard your heart purposely regulating what comes into it,
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  and you will guarantee what comes out of it will be acceptable and pleasing to the Lord.
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  God has given you a story to tell.
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  Don't miss an opportunity to tell the story. But above all, don't negate the value of the story.
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  By the condition of your heart, you demonstrate through words God never asked you to say.
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  Guard your speech.
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  Guard your heart. For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.
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  Remember, you are loved. Jesus loves you.
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  You for joining us in today's podcast. You can visit the show notes for quotes
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  from today's podcast and scripture references.
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• 25:25
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• 25:30
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• 25:53
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  Remember that God loves you.