Latest / X Minus One | Old Time Radio / X Minus One - "Protection" (Old Time Radio, 1957)

Transcript

X Minus One - "Protection" (Old Time Radio, 1957) · X Minus One | Old Time Radio

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: A Columbia student named Bob comes under the protection of
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: a Valadushan Derg, an unseen alien guardian able to warn
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: him of danger. The arrangement begins as remarkable good fortune,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: but its precautions soon reach into the ordinary details of
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: his life. From March 20th, 1957, here is NBC Radio's X-1,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Episode 93, Protection. Ernest Kenoy adapted Robert Sheckley's story for
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: radio with William Redfield as Bob, Elliot Reid as Charlie,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: and William Keene as the Derg. Ladies and gentlemen, the
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: curtain rises on New York City and a guardian whose
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: concern may prove difficult to live with. Now, back to
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: the golden age of radio.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Countdown for blastoff. X minus 5, 4, 3, 2... X
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: minus one, fire. From the far horizons of the unknown
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: come tales of new dimensions in time and space.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: These are stories of the future.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: Adventures in which you'll live in a million could be
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: years on a thousand maybe worlds. The National Broadcasting Company,
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: in cooperation with Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine, presents... X.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Minus 1.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Tonight, Protection by Robert Sheckley.
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: There will be an airplane crash in Burma next week,
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: but it shouldn't affect me here in New York. And
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: the Fiege certainly can't harm me, not with all my
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: closet doors closed.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: No.
• 2:22
  Speaker 5: No.
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: The big problem is lessnerizing. I must not lessnerize, absolutely not.
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: As you can imagine, that hampers me. And to top
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: it all, I think I'm catching a very nasty cold.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: The whole thing, including the cold, started on the evening
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: of November 7th. I was walking down Broadway on my
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: way to Baker's Cafeteria with Charlie Lester. He's in one
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: of my physics classes, and we were both feeling pretty lightheaded.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Boy, I've had tough exams in my day, but that was.
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: You got a cold?
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: No, no, I haven't got a cold. My eyes just water,
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: my nose runs, and I sneeze because I'm essentially a masochist. Actually,
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: it is psychosomatic. I hate my mother and my father.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: Of course I've got a cold. What do you think?
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: Well, look, look, don't give it to me. I've got
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: a heavy date with a Barnard Jr.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: This weekend. My boy, there is no such thing as
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: a heavy date with a Barnard Jr.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: Never mind. Just don't blow any germs my way.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: Well, as a matter of fact, I'll leave you completely.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: I have to go over to South Hall to pick
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: up some books.
• 3:28
  Speaker 5: So long.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: At the moment Charlie left me, I had in my
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: pocket five coins, three keys, and a book of matches.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: Just to complete the picture, let me add that the
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: wind was coming from the northwest at five miles per hour.
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: Venus was in the ascendancy, and the moon decidedly gibbous.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: You can draw your own conclusions from this. I reached
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: the corner of 114th Street and began to cross.
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: The truck! Watch out for the truck! Watch out!
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: Huh?
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: What truck?
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: Who? What? There's no truck on the street. What?
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: Oh!
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: Oh, well, thanks, friend. If you hadn't warned me, I'd... Hey. Hey,
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: where are you? Who said that to me? Where are you?
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: Can you still hear me? Well, sure I can.
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: Where are you? There isn't anybody here.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Where are you?
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Gronish.
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: Is that the referent? Refraction index. Creature of insubstantiality. The
• 4:24
  Speaker 5: shadow knows. Did I pick the right one?
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: You're invisible?
• 4:27
  Speaker 5: That's it. That's it.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: I knew the concept was somewhere in you. Well, I.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: Well, what are you?
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: A Valaduzian derg.
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: A Valad... A what? I am.
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: Would you mind opening your larynx a little wider, please?
• 4:42
  Speaker 5: You see, I am using your sub-vocalizations to communicate.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Now, breathe deeply.
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: That's it.
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: That's it. That's better. Let's see now. I am the
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: spirit of Christmas past, the creature from the Black Lagoon,
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: the Bride of Frankenstein. Now, hold on.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: What are you trying to tell me, that you're a
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: ghost or a creature from another planet?
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: Same thing, obviously.
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: Oh, well, that makes it all perfectly clear. Any fool
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: can see that a disembodied voice must belong to someone
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: from another planet.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: I'm invisible on Earth, but my superior senses spotted approaching
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: danger and warned you of it. Well, thanks.
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: Thanks anyway about that. Well, what are you, one of
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: those strange voices that warns Aunt Minnie to stay out
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: of the elevator, which then crashes to the basement?
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: Something like that.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Well, goodbye.
• 5:35
  Speaker 5: What's the matter?
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: Well, not a thing, except that I seem to be
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: standing in the middle of 114th Street talking to an
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: invisible alien from the farthest reaches of outer space. I
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: suppose only I can hear you.
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: Well, naturally. Oh, great.
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: Well, you know where this sort of thing will land me.
• 5:49
  Speaker 5: The concept you are sub-vocalizing is not entirely clear.
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: Now, look, please, go back to one of my childhood
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: traumas where you came from and let me alone. Uh,
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: thanks for the warning about the truck. Good night.
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: Where are you going?
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: I am going to a saloon down the street, much
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: frequented by Columbia students.
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: Won't you talk with me? Look, please, will you cut
• 6:09
  Speaker 5: it out? There are two girls watching me now. But
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: you must talk to me. The real sub-vocal contact is
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: very rare and astonishingly difficult. Sometimes I can get across
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: a warning just before a dangerous moment, but then the
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: connection fades.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: You mean that is the explanation of premonitions of danger?
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: That's right. Conditions might not be right for this kind
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: of contact for another hundred years.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: Look, this is very interesting stuff for Professor Ryan at
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: North Carolina, not for the physics department at Columbia. I
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: have heard statistics about the overcrowding of mental hospitals, and
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: I am not interested in contributing to that condition. Besides,
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: there's a cop looking at me.
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: I appreciate your social situation, but this contact with me
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: is in your own best interest. I want to protect
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: you from the myriad dangers of human existence. Get lost. Well,
• 7:02
  Speaker 5: I can't force you. I'll just have to offer my
• 7:05
  Speaker 5: services elsewhere. Goodbye, friend.
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: Goodbye.
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: Oh, just one last thing. Stay off subways tomorrow between
• 7:12
  Speaker 5: noon and 1.15 p.m. Why? Someone will be killed at
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: Columbus Circle, pushed in front of a train by shopping crowds. You,
• 7:21
  Speaker 5: if you're there... Goodbye.
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: Someone will be killed there tomorrow, are you sure?
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: Of course.
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: It'll be in the newspapers?
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: I should imagine so. And you know all sorts of
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: stuff like that? I can perceive all the dangers that
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: radiate toward you and extend into time. My one desire
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: was to protect you from them.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: Well, uh, look, will you wait till tomorrow evening? Those
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: two girls are giggling now.
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: You will let me be your protector?
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: Yes. I'll tell you tomorrow after I read the late papers.
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: The item was there, all right. I read it in
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: my furnished room at 113th Street. Man pushed by the crowd,
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: lost his balance, fell in front of an oncoming train. Well,
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: this gave me a lot to think about while I
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: waited for my invisible protector to show up. By the
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: time he contacted me, I didn't know that I liked
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: the whole idea.
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: Don't you trust me?
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: I just want to lead a normal life. If you
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: lead any life at all. That truck last night? That
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: was a freak. A once-in-a-lifetime hazard.
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: It only takes once in a lifetime to die. There
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: was the subway, too.
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: No, well, that doesn't count. I hadn't planned on riding
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: it today.
• 8:33
  Speaker 5: But you had no reason not to ride it. That's
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: the important thing. Just as you have no reason not
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: to take a shower in the next hour.
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: Why shouldn't I?
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: A Miss Flynn who lives down the hall is now
• 8:46
  Speaker 5: taking her shower and will leave a melting bar of
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: pink soap on the pink tile of the bathroom floor.
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: You would have slipped on it and suffered a sprained wrist.
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: Not fatal, huh?
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: No. Hardly in the same class with, let us say,
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: a heavy flowerpot pushed from a rooftop by a certain
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: unstable old gentleman.
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: When is that going to happen?
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: I thought you weren't interested.
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: I am very interested.
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: When?
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: Where?
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: Will you let me continue to protect you? Well, now,
• 9:19
  Speaker 5: just tell me one thing. What's in this for you? Satisfaction.
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: For a Valaduzian derg, the greatest thrill possible is to
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: help another creature evade danger.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: But isn't there something else you want out of this?
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: Some trifle like my soul or rulership of the earth?
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: Nothing. To accept payment for protection would ruin the emotional experience.
• 9:40
  Speaker 5: All I want out of life, all any derg wants,
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: is to protect someone from the dangers he cannot see,
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: but which we can see all too well. We don't
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: even expect gratitude. Hmm.
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: What about the flower pot?
• 9:55
  Speaker 5: It'll be dropped at the corner of 10th Street and
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: McAdams Boulevard at 10.30 tomorrow morning.
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: Ah. Uh, 10th and McAdams.
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: Where's that?
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: In Jersey City.
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: Well, I've never been to Jersey City in my life.
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: Why warn me about that? I don't know where you
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: will or won't go. I merely perceive dangers to you
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: wherever they may occur. What should I do now? Anything
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: you wish. Just lead your normal life. It started out
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: well enough. I attended classes at Columbia, did homework, saw movies,
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: went on dates, played table tennis and chess all as before.
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: At no time did I let on that I was
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: under the protection of a Valaduzian derg. Even Charlie didn't
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: notice it, though he had a pretty good excuse. Boy,
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: are you lucky. I got stuck in that elevator for
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: four hours.
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: Say, how come you walked?
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: I never saw you volunteer to walk five flights before.
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: Oh, well, a little bird told me.
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: Oh, boy, I wish I.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: I wish I had a little bird like that.
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: Why don't you do something for that cold?
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: Why should I? What's it ever done for me?
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: Not even the derg had warned me about Charlie's bad
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: jokes in time. But he did his best. And once
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: or twice a day, he'd come around and report.
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: Loose grating on West End Avenue between 66th and 67th Streets.
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: Don't walk on it.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: Of course, I wouldn't. Once I got used to it,
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: it gave me quite a feeling of security. But the
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: derg soon became overzealous on my behalf. He began finding
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: more and more dangers.
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: Look out for an overhanging sign on the Hotel National.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Where?
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: 48th Street?
• 11:39
  Speaker 5: Mexico City. Don't go to the hockey game tonight.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Where?
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: At Toronto.
• 11:46
  Speaker 5: Look out for the Elm Street bus.
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: Philadelphia?
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: Omaha. Don't go surf riding today.
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: Surf riding?
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: Where? Papiti.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: Now, just wait a minute. Do you plan on reporting
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: every potential danger on Earth?
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: Oh, these are only a few. Only a very few
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: that you may be affected by.
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: In Mexico City?
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: In Papiti?
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: Why not confine yourself to the local picture? Greater New York,
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: let's say. Locale means nothing to me. I must protect
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: you from everything. Well, it was rather touching in a way.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: And there was nothing I could do about it. I
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: simply had to discard from his reports the various dangers
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: in places like Hoboken, Thailand, Kansas City, Angervat, Sarasota, and Paris.
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: I concentrated pretty much on Manhattan. He did save me
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: from a pretty nasty holdup on Cathedral Parkway and a
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: four-alarm fire. But he kept stepping up the pace.
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: Tainted food in Baker's Cafeteria. Don't eat there tonight. Amsterdam
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: Bus 312 has bad brakes. Don't ride it. Mellon's Tailor
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: Shop has a leaking gas line. Explosion do. Have your
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: clothes dry-cleaned elsewhere. Rabbit Mongrel on prowl between Riverside Drive
• 13:01
  Speaker 5: and Central Park West. Take a taxi.
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: Soon I was spending most of my time not doing
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: things and avoiding places. Danger seemed to be lurking behind
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: every lamppost waiting for me. I rather suspected the derg
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: of padding his report.
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: All my reports are perfectly genuine. If you don't believe me,
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: try turning on your lights in the psychology class tomorrow.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: Defective wiring. Look, I don't doubt your warnings. I just
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: don't think life was this dangerous before you came along.
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: Well, of course it wasn't. Surely you know that if
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: you accept protection, you must accept the drawbacks of protection
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: as well.
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: Drawbacks like what?
• 13:40
  Speaker 5: Protection begets the need of further protection. That is a
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: universal constant. Before you met me, you were like everyone
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: else and you ran into such risks as the situation offered.
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: But with my coming, your immediate environment has changed and
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: your position in it has changed too.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: Because it has me in it. It is well known
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: that the avoidance of one danger opens the path to others.
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: Are you trying to tell me that my risks have
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: increased because of your help?
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: It was unavoidable.
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: Why, you miserable extraterrestrial con man. Now, look... All right,
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: all right. Thanks for everything. I'll see you on Mars
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: or wherever you hang out.
• 14:18
  Speaker 5: You... Don't want any further protection?
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: You guessed it.
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: Don't slam the door on your way out.
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: But what's wrong? Your risks have increased, but my capacity
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: for detection is more than ample to cope with it.
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: I'm happy to cope with it. So it still represents
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: a net gain in protection for you. Yeah, I know
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: what happens next. My risks just keep on increasing, don't they?
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: Not at all. As far as accidents are concerned, you
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: have reached the quantitative limit.
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: What does that mean?
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: It means that there will be no further increase in
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: the number of accidents you must avoid.
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: Look, if you leave me alone, my original environment will return,
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: won't it? And with it, my original risks?
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: Eventually. If you survive. Fine.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: I'll take that chance.
• 14:59
  Speaker 5: You cannot afford to send me away. Tomorrow... No, no, no.
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: Don't tell me.
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: I'll avoid the accidents on my own.
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: I wasn't thinking of accidents. What then? I... I hardly
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: know how to tell you. A gamper is after you.
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: Oh, a gamper. A what? Now, what kind of a
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: gag is this?
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: A gamper is a creature from my environment. I suppose
• 15:24
  Speaker 5: he was attracted by your increased potentiality for avoiding risk
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: due to my protection.
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: Now, look, you can take your gamper.
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: If he comes, try driving him off with mistletoe. Iron
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: is often effective if bonded to copper also.
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: Will you get out of here?
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: Are you sure? Beat it.
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: Blow.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: Scram. Get out. Go on.
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: All right. All right. Goodbye. Goodbye.
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: Are you gone? Are you really gone? Good riddance.
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: What's that?
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: Derg, is that you? Hey, your motor's running.
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: Derg?
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: What is it? What is that?
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: What is that?
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's the gamper.
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: Dirk, get me out of this. Dirk. Dirk, get me out. Dirk,
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: come back. Dirk.
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: Did you call? Oh, the gamper. Mistletoe, mistletoe.
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: Wave it at the gamper. Where in blazes am I
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: going to get mistletoe? Iron copper, then.
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: Copper, copper.
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: Oh, I've got a paperweight on my desk.
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: The chair leg is iron. Touch it with the copper.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: Quick.
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: You see? You need my protection. The gamper almost got you. Yes. Yes,
• 16:43
  Speaker 5: it sure did. You'll need some things. Wolfbane, amaranth, garlic,
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: graveyard mold.
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: But the gamper is gone.
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: Yes, yes. However, the graylers remain, and you'll need safeguard
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: against the leaps, the fegs, and the melgarizer. I'll give
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: you a list.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: He gave me a list and I went shopping. I
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: ran into Charlie at the supermarket.
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: Hey, Bob, where you been?
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: Wolfbane, Amaranth, garlic, garlic. They must have garlic.
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: Well, sure, they got garlic over here.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: Well, I guess you know what I came in for.
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: Tissues.
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: What else? Yeah, well, now let me see. Graveyard mold,
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: graveyard mold. You think they'd have it here?
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: Hey, boy, what's the matter with you?
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: You look white as a ghost.
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: I'm white as a gamper, or a grailer, or a leap,
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: or a feeg.
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: Well, what is that?
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: Jive talk?
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: Please, please, Charlie, don't bother me. I'm busy.
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: Who has the nearest graveyard that would be moldy this
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: time of year? It was a game between these extraterrestrials
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: and I was in it. Some of them wanted to
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: kill me, some to protect me. None of them cared
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: for me, not even the derg. And the situation was
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: all my fault. At the beginning, I had had the
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: accumulated wisdom of the human race at my disposal. That
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: tremendous and distinctive hatred of witches and ghosts. The irrational
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: fear of alien life. For my adventure has been played
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: out a thousand times. And the story is told again
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: and again. How a man dabbles in strange arts and
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: summons up a spirit. By so doing, he attracts attention
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: to himself. the worst thing of all. So I was
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: welded inseparably to the derg, and the derg to me.
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: Until yesterday, that is. Charlie came to my room to visit.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: Hey, boy, how you been?
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: I haven't seen you in class for a while. You
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: mind if I hang up my coat?
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, no, don't. No, don't open
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: the closet door.
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: Well, what's the matter?
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: What's in there?
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: Nothing, nothing. Only that's the only way to hold off
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: the thieves by keeping closet doors closed. The leaps are
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: more menacing, but the eye of a toad seems to
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: stop them. And the melgarizer is dangerous only in the
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: full of the moon.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: Only in the... Uh-huh. Well, Bob, it's been grand.
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: Bye.
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: You are in danger. What? Who?
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: What again?
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: What is it this time?
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: It is the thrang who pursues us. Us?
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: Yes, myself as well as you. For even a derg
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: must run from risk and danger.
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: Well, is this thrang particularly dangerous?
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: Very.
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: Well, what do I do? Snake skin over the door?
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: A pentagon? Burn incense? Anything?
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: None of these. The thrang must be dealt with negatively
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: by the avoidance of certain actions.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: All right, all right. What shouldn't I do?
• 19:42
  Speaker 5: You must not lessen arise.
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: I must.
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: lessen arise what's that well surely you know it's a
• 19:49
  Speaker 5: simple everyday human action.
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: Well i probably know it under a different name explain.
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: Very well to lessen arise as to what it is
• 19:57
  Speaker 5: here the thrang the thrang is here derg Dirk, where
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: are you?
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: What should I do?
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: This has me. What should I do? This has me.
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: I'm going to drag. Don't last the ride.
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: Don't last the ride.
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: So I'm sitting tight now. There'll be an airplane crash
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: in Burma next week, but it shouldn't affect me here
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: in New York. And the Fiege certainly can't harm me. Now,
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: not with all my closet doors closed. No, the problem
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: is lessenorizing. I must not lessenorize, absolutely not. If I
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: can keep from lessenorizing, everything will pass and the chase
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: will move elsewhere.
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: It must.
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: All I have to do is wait them out. Trouble is,
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: I don't have any idea what lessenorizing might be. A
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: common human action, the derg said. Well, at the moment,
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: I'm avoiding as many actions as possible. I've caught up
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: on some back sleep, and nothing's happened. So that's not lessonizing.
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: I went out and bought food, cooked it, and ate it.
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: That wasn't lessonizing. I'm telling you the story, and that
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: isn't lessonizing. I'll get out of this yet. I will
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: get out of it. I'm going to catch a nap now.
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: I think I've caught Charlie's cold. I think I'm going
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: to have to... Huh? Huh? Huh?
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: You have been listening to Protection by Robert Checkley on X-1.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: X-1 is presented by the National Broadcasting Company in cooperation
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: with Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine. which this month features Survival
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Kit by Frederick Pohl. The story of Mooney, a smart
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: but luckless man who had to scrounge while his friend
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: Horace always made out well, just because he owned a
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: survival kit. Galaxy Magazine on your newsstand today. Tonight, X-1
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: has brought you Protection, a story from the pages of Galaxy,
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: written by Robert Sheckley and adapted for radio by Ernest Canoy.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: Featured in our cast were William Redfield as Bob of
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: The Final and Fatal Sneeze, Elliot Reid as his breezy
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: pal Charlie, and William Keene as the foreseeing Dirk. Your announcer,
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: Fred Collins. X-1 was directed by Kenneth McGregor and is
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: an NBC Radio Network production.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: You have heard X-1, Episode 93, Protection. Follow X-1 for
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: more classic broadcasts.