Latest / Rooted & Real With Keenan / Breaking Generational Patterns: Fatherhood, Faith & Healing with Gregory Meadows
Transcript
- Keenan: All right. Hey Greg, how are you doing today on this fine Tuesday afternoon? Gregory Meadows: doing well. How are you? Keenan: Awesome. I'm doing all right. so I ask everyone the same question right off the bat, and it's just what's your story? How did you become who you are today in the profession you do and and how did you arrive at this is what you wanted to do? So what's your story? Gregory Meadows: Yeah, that's a great question. I believe all heroes and villains have an origin story and we get to decide which path we're gonna take in the in that. And so Keenan: Yeah. Gregory Meadows: I grew up in a small town in Kentucky, grew up you know with you know predominantly single mom. things like that. grew up in the south. I was the oldest between me and my brother. And so you know, life was tough. Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: and so grew and you know the idea that children experience trauma is a relatively new it's not new but it's new that we name it. Keenan: Right. Absolutely. Gregory Meadows: Right. And so back then it was just like life was hard, life was stressful, parents were stressed about money or this or that. And so, you know, I I experienced my own difficult childhood and from there, you know, developed a capacity for other people's suffering. And Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: so had a sensitivity for older folks and younger folks. And so just kind of always grew up as that quiet, serious kid and things like that. And then was getting ready to graduate high school. and the guidance counselor's like, so what do you want to be when you grow up? And I'm like, I don't know. you Keenan: Yeah. Gregory Meadows: know, and they said, Well, what are you good at? And I said, Well, I think I'm pretty good at talking to people, you know, and helping them figure things out. And so they're like, Why don't you be like a therapist or a counselor? I was like, Okay. And so went to school. I I have a psychology degree and then and Keenan: Wow, okay. Gregory Meadows: and and then got a life coaching certification a few years later, but have always steered towards working with children and their families because I feel like children are gonna change the planet and Lord I hope so sooner than later. And Keenan: For sure. Gregory Meadows: so so yeah, so that's a little bit of my origin story. Keenan: Yeah, for sure. So I mean, you finding out that you like to talk to people, like what was that whole experience like? I mean, especially someone saying you should be a therapist or a coach, 'cause sometimes we hear that and people can take that the wrong way, but you're whoever said that to you took it the right way. So what was that like for you? Gregory Meadows: Yeah, so you know, growing up in a family where there was a lot of kind of emotional and verbal abuse and things like that, Keenan: Right. Yeah. Gregory Meadows: you know, I have a saying, out of your greatest wound can come your greatest gift. And so for me, I developed a capacity to have a deeper insight into people, into Keenan: Hm. Gregory Meadows: like deeper motivations and those sorts of things. And so having that insight helped me really connect with people and helping me understand them and helping them understand themselves. And so that came out of it and and just my first job out of college was working with middle schoolers in an alternative school. So Keenan: Wow, that's thrown into it. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Gregory Meadows: I got pushed in the deep end with no floaties. And so and so and I realized from there, I was like, you know, I I really enjoy seeing kids outgrow their circumstances, which is what I did. And it kind of like connected a bunch of dots for me. And so I was like, because kids can grow up and have the most difficult of circumstances, and they can grow up to be Amazing adults, amazing humans with amaz their own amazing families and Keenan: Yeah. Gregory Meadows: break generational trauma. Keenan: Yeah, for sure. So was there at any point in this journey that that you were like, This is not what I'm supposed to do? Like, this is a mistake, this is this is hard. What's that like? Gregory Meadows: Yeah, so being an entrepreneur is sometimes like pushing water uphill, you know? Keenan: For sure. Gregory Meadows: And there can be times when it's not glamorous, it's not you're not a social media influencer, you're not a a six or seven figure lawyer, doctor, something like that. And so, you know this This path for me, you know, is not about notoriety, it's about legacy. And so that's at the end on my last day I want to look backwards and go, Okay, I made a difference. Keenan: Hmm. Wow. Yeah. So Gregory Meadows: Yeah. Keenan: how did it go? So you're you went to college, you got this degree, like how did it go with your family kind of talking about this with them? I mean, did they support you? Did they like Gregger crazy? Like what do you what was that? What was that? Gregory Meadows: No, like you know, everybody I think takes on a particular role in a family, right? And so, Keenan: Yeah, for sure. Gregory Meadows: you know, you're you're either the black sheep or the white sheep or you're the fixer or the counselor. And so I became kind of the counselor in our family. And Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: so people come to me and tell me the tea about what's Keenan: Yeah. Gregory Meadows: going on with this. family member or this or that and and so I just have a capacity to hold that you know challenge suffering whatever you want to call it and so my family ultimately has been supportive and now that I'm older and have been in my career for over twenty years Keenan: Wow. Gregory Meadows: you know they're they're really supportive and and I and I still sometimes get to play that role in my family. But sometimes it's just nice to be the son or the brother or that sort of thing. Keenan: Right, yeah, for sure. Do you feel like, you know, you've been in your position for a while? Do you feel like I mean you people come to you advice a lot, both of invited and not invited? Gregory Meadows: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so yeah, so I think you know, people have perspectives about entrepreneurship, right? Like, Keenan: For sure. Gregory Meadows: you know, they they either assume you're making it big because you travel or those sorts of things, but you know, there's a little bit of you know, just challenge and just being an entrepreneur and things like that. And then, you know, From ask from people asking advice. I this happens to me probably at least once a month, where someone will tell me something that's really deep, really dark, and I just met them. And it's a little I think if you're not used to it, it can be a little like, whoa, you just told me something really deep Keenan: Right. Gregory Meadows: or painful or whatever, but it happens to me so often. And I think that just is a symbolic of my gift or that has been bestowed upon me and my gift towards the world just to hold hold other people's suffering. Keenan: Yeah, for sure. I mean and that is like l like it's so needed because people have, you know, things they need to talk about and things that if they hold in for too long it can it can hurt them. Gregory Meadows: Yeah, yeah. And there's no shortage of things going on in the world, Keenan: Right. Gregory Meadows: at on a macro level. And all of that sort of gets reflected into our families and the economy and paying bills and which bill are we going to pay, you know, this month and and that sort of thing. And or or and that can translate into marital stress, family stressors, things like that. So you're right, there's no shortage of things to talk about, and also I think it's an act of courage to ask for help. So Keenan: Mm. Absolutely, for sure. So I mean, you are a life coach. Did I hear that right? Gregory Meadows: Yeah, I'm a certified life coach with a degree in psychology. Keenan: Okay. Awesome. So and you've been doing it for twenty years. What has been what's been that journey like? I mean, there must be something in it that you I mean, you're in it for something. You've been doing it for so long. The world's changed a lot in last twenty years. Like, what's been that whole process? How are you still going? Gregory Meadows: I think, you know, when I was younger and getting out of college, you know, I wanted to do something glamorous, right? Social media's just, you know, being invented and you know, I want to do something glamorous and makes money and all these sorts of things. And and I think I have come to accept that this is part of my purpose on the planet and and maybe part of God's gift and God's purpose for me and path. And so so I like have come to accept it and just going through so many different I've worked in so many different fields within mental health, behavioral health, and each one of them has taught me about myself and and increased my capacity to help others and just giving more me more experience, wisdom, those sorts of things. So some days it's been hard and like after a long day of working with clients, I need to take a nap or a walk. Keenan: Right. Gregory Meadows: and then some days I'm like, okay, bring it on. You know, I got Keenan: Right. Gregory Meadows: this. I got my gloves on. Let's do this. Keenan: Yeah. Yeah. How have you taken care of yourself? I mean, like I'm a therapist, you're a life coach, you've been doing life coaching for a long time. I mean, how do you have such longevity doing all this? Gregory Meadows: Yeah, yeah. that's a great question. And you know, over the years I've learned a lot about food. I've learned a lot about, you know, self-care. so I live near a park and so I walk that park pretty regularly. sunshine, walking. I believe it's important to put our feet on the earth. I believe it's important to know what we eat. I'm an avid label reader. Keenan: Absolutely. Gregory Meadows: so so so knowing what I'm cooking, what I'm eating, and even when I go out, you know, like, hey, what's in this, what's in that. and then also I believe that we are the company we keep. And Keenan: Yeah. Gregory Meadows: we if we keep company with good spirits, good souls. people that love us and support us and that can lift us up when we're falling down or or feeling down, that is important as well. and then just finding community, like Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: at a larger scale, finding community and support in that way. Keenan: For sure. Yeah. So I mean, how important you kind of hit on it little bit, but you know, in this world where people are getting more and more isolated, people are staying home more, COVID forced everybody home. There's these like virtual worlds you can go to. Like, how important is that community to have like face-to-face? Interactions, conversations, how important would you say that is? Gregory Meadows: Well, if we if we take a look at the dating world as an example, Keenan: Sure. Gregory Meadows: people are less socially equipped now than ever. There's like men 25 to 44, there's like almost 50% of men are not even in the dating arena. birth rates are down, and if we look at the dating world. We are becoming less engaged, less equipped to just talk to one another, right? More texting. I know people, I found this out this week. I called some of my friends and they don't have a voicemail box set set up. And I said, Why don't you have your voicemail box set? And they're like, I don't, I don't, I don't even look at those. I don't even talk to I just text. So, like, you know, there's there's less person to person engagement and and if we follow that out with the rise of AI, I don't know if we're going in a positive direction. and so that's why I think like just good old fashioned phone calls, Keenan: Right. Gregory Meadows: in person meetups, potlucks together, these sorts of things are going to help us maintain our humanity versus Endangering it. Keenan: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So it's kind of like you know, we're going in in a very interesting the world is going in a very interesting direction with the technology we have. Gregory Meadows: Yeah. Yeah. Keenan: it's even hard to say what the next ten years is gonna look like. Gregory Meadows: The next five years, right? Keenan: Right. Yeah. Gregory Meadows: With the rise of AI, robots are becoming more affordable. Elon Musk says, you know, like, hey, we're gonna have robots by 2030. Amazon is planning on replacing all of their workforce as much as possible with robots and automation in the next five to ten years. So Keenan: Why? Jeez. I mean, it's like the human element is slowly being taken out of some of that stuff. Gregory Meadows: Yeah, and I think like, you know, we we We're coming to a we're coming to a crossroads where we are going to decide how much we're going to allow technology to be in our world, embedded, how we will use it, will it be a tool or will it be a substitute? These sorts of things. And I think you know, the jury's still out about what humanity will decide as a whole, you know, and Keenan: Right. Yeah. Gregory Meadows: my hope. is that we will we will turn towards humanity, connection, taking care of the earth and things like that. Keenan: Yeah, for sure. So what do you think, you know, humanity or something you've said was like America needs a culture or a national rite of passage for boys? What do you think boys are missing right now? Gregory Meadows: my gosh. Where do I start? so so Keenan: Yeah. Gregory Meadows: I I I think that one challenge that almost every parent is facing is how is my child engaged in social media and what is my child doing with AI, right? And Keenan: Sure. Gregory Meadows: so children have less Probably, I don't know, I I'm thinking about my own childhood and I had very little oversight, but it was more s it was more safe then I think. Keenan: Sure. Gregory Meadows: And today's world, there's a lot more risk, risk of information, risk of being exposed to different things. And so specifically I I feel that parents need more oversight of social media. what their child is doing online, how they're using AI in academics and things like that. But we need more connection and mentorship. And you Keenan: Hmm. Yeah. Gregory Meadows: know, there's there's just not enough mentorship. And as a culture, as a Western culture, we don't I don't think we do a very good job Of kind of mentoring boys into adulthood. Now, there are these micro cultures or these micro rites of passage, like if your father was a hunter or a fisherman or a builder, he built things, a farmer, these things, these things teach boys about resiliency, accountability, responsibility, courage, grit, discipline, all these sorts of things. But not all boys. had that type of dad. And so Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: a lot of them are a lot of boys are mentoring other boys, which is not necessarily a good thing. Right? They they Keenan: Right. Right. Gregory Meadows: sort of get in an echo chamber. So Keenan: Mm. Yeah. So I mean I guess what does like like healthy what did I say earlier? What does healthy rite of passage look like for into manhood? Then what's Gregory Meadows: Right. Keenan: what's going on? Gregory Meadows: Yeah, so if we're talking about rites of passage, every family will do it uniquely in their own way, but there are elements that are indicative to the hero's journey, right? And Keenan: Okay. Gregory Meadows: the hero's journey has been told throughout time, throughout poetry, throughout art, throughout movies. stories, books, all these kinds of things. And the hero's journey really has some common elements, right? There has Keenan: Mm-hmm. Gregory Meadows: to be there has to be risk. There has to be fear of or the possibility of failure, right? Keenan: For sure. Gregory Meadows: you know, I'm thinking about indigenous cultures that historically have done rites of passage where The h in his in indigenous cultures historically children would stay with the women up until about age 13. And then somewhere in the 13th-ish year, there would be a ritual that both the mothers and fathers would participate in. And it's where the fathers or the warriors would come in, snatch the boys up in the middle of the night. and take them on a vision quest. They're taking them out of the the womb of their and the safety of their mother to teach them about the reality of the world, how to be strong, how to be disciplined, how to have courage, and that sort of thing. And so they would put them through these tests or trials. And then it's still supervised, but there is the the fear that something could go wrong, right? even though it may not go wrong. and so I think when you look into the hero's journey, when you look at indigenous cultures, there's these common elements, and ultimately it's to prepare boys to become good men. And we all want good men in the world because good men in the world protect, they create, they build all of these things, right? And And they also confront the unhealthy things in the world that are still going on in the world. And they defend and protect, you know, the weak and the innocent. Keenan: Yeah. So I mean, could you still be a good man without going through those trials? Is that possible in your opinion? Okay. Gregory Meadows: Yes, it's possible. I think I think you like there's a lot of things that are possible and also Trials and tribulations or difficulties build character, build Keenan: Mm-hmm. Gregory Meadows: resilience. Is it possible to have it without it? Sure. But in my experience, the people that are most successful, that are most in touch with themselves, their purpose, those sorts of things, they've had adversity and the human experience. gifts us with no shortage of adversity to process, overcome, alchemize in a way, things like that. Keenan: Sure. Yeah. Yeah. So it's more like it could happen, but wouldn't you rather it happen you came out the other side, a different person that God made you to be? Gregory Meadows: Yeah, yeah. We get to decide, just like the origin story, we get to decide what we make of the challenges that come up. Right. And and that's where we need to ask for help. That's where we need to get information. That's where we need to talk to a coach or a therapist. And it's not a it's not a sign of failure. It's a sign of I want to be better. Keenan: Hm, yes. Yeah. It's I like that because it's not necessarily things are bad and you're talking to somebody. It's like I wanna be a better person. I wanna be a better man, better dad. Gregory Meadows: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no matter what your circumstance is, and there are some really horrific circumstances that people have gone through, experienced, Keenan: Sure. Yeah. Gregory Meadows: been a victim of, that sort of thing. But I want to encourage and empower someone to consider the possibility that instead of a wound, it could be a gift. Keenan: Sure. Gregory Meadows: And can we can we convert it into a gift, right? So Keenan: Yeah. So, you know, something about like gifts and childhood is you shared a story about being ten years old and helping a young child get out of a locked car. Gregory Meadows: Yeah. Keenan: I'm curious to know why has that story stuck with you and I mean has it stuck with you? Gregory Meadows: Yeah, so the abridged version of that story is I I grew up with allergies as a kid and I was getting allergy shots and I was at I was at the doctor's office and you know I'm waiting and I'm waiting and I look out the window and I see all these adults kind of panicking around a car. It's the middle of summer in the south, which is hot and humid. And Keenan: Yeah. Gregory Meadows: and they a mom had came into the doctor's office briefly but accidentally locked a kid in the car and it was hot and and the car was not running. And so they were really worried about the car, that sort of thing. And just out of curiosity, I went out there to just I kind of be nosy as a kid. I was just like, what's going on? And they had managed to like shimmy the the window down enough and i'm standing there and one of the adults was like hey put your arm and down in the in the in the car so he pulled the window and i stuck my little thin arm down in there and unlocked the car door and in reflection it was like just something simple that i did that like i didn't even need to think about And and it kind of just no matter how hard I can be on myself, I'm like, there was a there was a version of me that was good and Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: did the right thing and helped another human and I and I kind of think about that a lot, about childhood and our inner child and and that sort of thing. And it's a it's a good reminder for me that like I already made a difference. Keenan: Right. Gregory Meadows: No matter how much more how many more days I've got, I already made a difference. And I've already worked with thousands of families over my career and things like that. And so now it's just continuing to add to the legacy, helping parents, helping teenagers, helping kids find their way. Keenan: Yeah, for sure. So it's almost like you have to find your way that like God has you on in the way that God orchestrated it for it to happen. Gregory Meadows: Yeah, and and sometimes we we can't see ahead very far. But through my experience, it has never failed me that when I look at when I look backwards, I go, that thing led to this thing, and that thing gave me the skills and preparation to do that thing. Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: So if we can do that backwards, why can't we do it forwards? Keenan: Right. Gregory Meadows: So in these moments, these trials, tribulations, or or gifts that are coming through, these things will be the the seed in which something else will manifest or grow out of, right? So for Keenan: Mm-hmm. Gregory Meadows: example, you know, I in my career I did a lot of classroom work where I was in front of kids talking. And at first it was like 10 kids, 12 kids, and then Throughout my career, I started getting asked to do some presentations. And I would do presentations for 40, 50, then and then it was a hundred. And then I was like, my gosh. And then I got an opportunity to speak in front of 200 people, and I was like, see how the dots connect and and so somewhere in my future, God willing. I will be on a stage talking about something important that people want to know about. And Keenan: Yeah. Gregory Meadows: so so I think if we can look backwards and see the divinity or or the timing, the divine timing of it, hopefully we can practice looking forward. And I and I do practice that often. So sometimes it doesn't take me very long to go, I know why this thing happened. To teach me about myself or teach me that I'm gonna I'm gonna grow in this gift or I'm gonna learn this thing and and another man is going to need this gift. Keenan: Hm. Gregory Meadows: And I have a saying, you never know who's waiting for you. Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: And what I mean by that is there's a version of us as we grow and become the better version of ourselves. There's someone that we're going to meet, whether it's in a grocery store, whether it's sitting at an oil chain shop, that's going to need something that we have, whether it's wisdom, whether it's time, money, these sorts of things. And so so you never know who's waiting for you to show up. And that's why we have I recommend we do the work. 'Cause when we do the work for ourselves, someone in our future is gonna need to hear our story, it's gonna need our wisdom. Keenan: Yeah. Yeah. It's powerful. So do you feel like you know how someone hearing that for the first time is kinda like, man, looking forward. I can't look forward. I can't go not time machine. Like how c what's like a practical way to look at that for someone for the first time, whether it's like real world examples or like just some sort of practical way to connect the dots? Gregory Meadows: Yeah, so I think it's best to start with practicing looking backwards, right? So Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: if we go back to childhood and we kind of go, ooh, okay, well, here's some good things, here's some big good things that happened, right? And here's some big challenging things or or really negative things that happened. And if we look at and we ask ourselves, How does that show up now in my life? Or what did I learn about myself and the world? If we ask one of those two questions, we'll start to see, that happened to me because I have a friend who was going through that and I was able to help them through that. Or, I went through that so that I could write a short story about this, or talk at my church about it, or be be a be a sort of an expert or authority figure on this particular topic. So when we start to connect the dots, we just have to journaling's a great process as well, because when we see it, it takes it from the ball of yarn that sometimes can be in our brain. And we literally have to see it and we have to confront it in a way or own it, right? and so writing it down is both kinesthetic, it's visual, we're reading it, and then if we're reading it out loud, it's auditory. So now we're starting to connect these dots. Our brain is starting to go, this happened and it happened, and here's the gift out of that. So if we practice that over and over again, and then we and we can look at other people's lives. because my mom did this or had this happen. She worked really hard, she saved, she bought her own house, you know. And I believe that that is kind of a skill that there's no shortage of things to like observe, look at, connect the dots. So I think journaling, I think asking curious questions, whether it's about yourself or about your parenting or about your relationship, being curious is a life skill that everybody should have in their toolbox. Keenan: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean that's the journaling and being able to look forward I feel like could benefit just about anybody. Gregory Meadows: Yeah. Keenan: I mean really observing what the plans God has for us and reflecting on what happened in the past and how he showed up versus how he could show up. I guess living in alignment with God is practical. And I guess what how would you say like that looks like? how someone hearing that for the first time, what does that look like on a like an ordinary day? What does that look like? Gregory Meadows: God has already decided that you're worthy. Keenan: Hm, yeah. Gregory Meadows: worthy of you know having a healthy relationship, losing weight, confronting a family member that i in love, that maybe is not so kind or doesn't have good boundaries, right? So so practically it's it's the it's the practice of self-love, it's the practice of like everyday mo at least try to move an inch, right? you know, so Keenan: Yeah. For sure. Gregory Meadows: so I think it's not only like taking care of the body that we were gifted, taking care of the mind that we were gifted, taking care of the heart that we were gifted, and taking care of the others that we have been charged with. Keenan: Hm. Gregory Meadows: become a steward of the body that we have, the mind that we have, the heart that we have, and you know, if we have a family or a partnership. treating it with reverence and respect, right? And so practically it looks I mean it's not it it's not rocket science like get good sleep, eat good food, be kind to yourself, stop with the negative self-talk. ask Keenan: Right. Gregory Meadows: for help if you need it. you know be vulnerable with safe and trusted confidants, right? Whether it's friends, parents, Therapist, coach, things like that. So Keenan: Yeah. Yeah. Gregory Meadows: spirituality, you know, we have to take it from the etherical or the mental and make Keenan: Mm-hmm. Gregory Meadows: it practical, right? Like you can Keenan: Yeah, for sure. Gregory Meadows: you can read the Bible all day long, but if you don't do anything with it, like it doesn't matter, right? Keenan: Right. Right. Yeah. For sure. So how is how has faith impacted your understanding of healing? You talk a lot about like, you know, loving yourself to help love others, like love God, love others. That's Jesus' central commands. Like, how has Gregory Meadows: Yeah, yeah. Keenan: faith impacted you in your journey and what you do? Gregory Meadows: Well, it's taught me to ask a lot of good questions. And you know, like I I ask questions about prayer. Like, Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: what does it mean to have a personal relationship with God? let's see what else. I catch myself sometimes being angry about things, Keenan: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Gregory Meadows: about angry about circumstances or people that said this or did that. And you know, I I have that initial reflex, but also I'm like, well If I'm worthy, if I'm if I'm worthy of God's love, they're worthy of God's love too. And if I'm worthy of forgiveness, because I make a whole bunch of mistakes, I probably make mistakes every day, some way, shape, or form, then they're worthy of forgiveness too. And Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: it really kind of helps pull the sting away from hurt or betrayal. And it doesn't, it doesn't negate those things, but it softens those things. And then, you know, thinking about thinking about stories where, you know, Jesus carried the Romans armor and he said, you know, they said, we're only supposed to take it a mile. And he said, we're gonna go more than a mile, right? So Keenan: Mm-hmm. Yep. Gregory Meadows: these examples are really kind of pointing us toward our own love, compassion. to to love bigger than ourselves, to try to love bigger than our humanity, in a sense. Keenan: Yeah, for sure. So I mean, you know, what would you say like the next generation, what is like the hope that you have for them? Maybe they're listening to this, maybe they'll hear it in ten years. What's like the message they need to hear? Gregory Meadows: Children and teenagers. They have something that hasn't been diluted by the world yet. They have Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: I think as adults, sometimes we're like, Why should I? Or why me? And things like that. And and Sometimes life can get tough. We can feel apathetic. We can feel tired. We can be like, that's not my battle. I'm not gonna do it. But children and teenagers and young people. They say, well, why not? Why can't we fix this or that? Why can't we heal this or that? Why can't Keenan: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Gregory Meadows: we go to the root of the problem versus just treating symptoms? so so they're more willing to challenge the status quo. They're willing to do the right thing because they haven't been they're they're still they're still they're still sort of in the womb of life, right? But they have imagination, they have creativity, they have determination. kids can be in and like taking all of that creativity, imagination, willingness to challenge the status quo, plus AI can make Keenan: Mm-hmm. Gregory Meadows: a profound change towards goodness, towards healing, towards being in alignment with our faith, other people, the planet, those sorts of things. and so my encouragement to the younger people is to like be willing to challenge the status quo, be willing Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: to do something different. Don't accept what adults have done just because it's the way it's been done. We we can do better, we should do better, and hopefully we will do better. Keenan: Yeah. So, you know, dad might be listening to this and might be like, Man, I need to do better. I need to show up for my family. Like, what do you think they can do today and what do they need to hear? Gregory Meadows: Well I think about fathers, right? And not all fathers were fathered. But we can still get fathered by community. I always recommend that men find community with other men. I don't care Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: if it's a moose lodge, I don't care if it's the VFW, I don't care if it's a men's circle, I don't care if it's a bowling league, but being around other men. Offers each man an opportunity to father another man and Keenan: Mm-hmm. Gregory Meadows: be fathered by another man. And we have been doing it since the dawn of time. And so you don't have to change everything overnight. Start small, right? if Keenan: Mm-hmm. Gregory Meadows: there's if there's things you want to change about your parenting, pick one thing and do it one percent less. Or if there's something you want to add in and want to do more of, do one percent more, even in just one little step. I think that we can all become overwhelmed by life and the responsibilities we have. And sometimes, men, we don't get a day off. And we're always doing things we don't necessarily want to do. And so my encouragement is you're being Forged in the fire, right? Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: And going it alone can be dangerous. And Keenan: Yeah. Gregory Meadows: so sometimes we need to go it alone, right? but but I would say the like find community, find other men, ask for help. hey, I don't know how to do this transmission change. Tell me how to do that, right? and things Keenan: Right. Gregory Meadows: like that. So find ways to ask for help and think about. What is your why? Keenan: Hm, yes. Gregory Meadows: Because that is your North Star. That is your compass about why you're doing all of it, right? Keenan: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Gregory Meadows: I'm doing this so that my kids will have it a little bit easier than I did, so that we'll break generational trauma, so that my kids will grow up in a world where they will be able to challenge the status quo, that sort of thing. So think about what is your why, and I would recommend writing it out. you can even record it on your phone and listen to that, right? Because now Keenan: Mm-hmm. Gregory Meadows: you're getting that you're getting that prayer into your system, right? Your brain is starting to kind of rewire towards here here's my here's my purpose, here's my legacy, here's why I'm here's why I put my feet on the floor every day. So Keenan: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So we talk a ton about like mental health and faith and sometimes people listening are either like praying about going to therapy or starting it and they're kind of on the fence about it. Like what is something you feel like they need to hear to to get them off the fence? Gregory Meadows: Mm. I believe. God knows every dialect of every soul on the planet. And God knows how to talk to you in your specific way. And there's no accident that you saw something that, I was thinking about that book, and then that book is at the library. Or, Keenan: Yeah. Gregory Meadows: I was thinking about this and I run into a therapist in the grocery store line or these sorts of things like synchronicity is to me one of God's languages and I don't believe in accidents. and so I think that if they're on the fence and they're listening to this podcast, if they are feeling heavy. Keenan: Hm. Gregory Meadows: Heart is feeling heavy, and they say in the in their heart is saying, I need someone to carry this with me, that's the sign you should reach out. And Keenan: Absolutely. Gregory Meadows: and and for for for coaches or most therapists will we'll talk to you for free. Right? Keenan: Mm-hmm. Gregory Meadows: We'll listen to you for 15, 30 minutes, and this is my personal, it's like I My personal gift to you that that I time, right? Like irreplaceable, infinitely valuable. And if anyone talks to me, I give them something to go home with. Like, hey, whether you move forward or not, here's the gift. Go do this thing. I think it'll really help you. Hey, follow up with me in a week or a month or in a year and let me know how it goes. Right. So if people are on the fence, I think that God communicates with us in the exact way that He knows that Keenan: Mm. Gregory Meadows: they like sometimes it's an animal, sometimes like you he you overhear a conversation and it's something you've been thinking about. There are no accidents, and so I would say listen to that, watch that, be open to that, ask for. Clarity, ask for unequivocal clarity. Like that, here's what am I supposed to do next? Who am I supposed to talk to? And start that journey. Because just the fact of knocking on doors is an act of courage. And see what doors open. So. Keenan: Mm-hmm. Yeah, for sure. So, you know, in wrapping up, what are some good like books, podcasts, blogs people can find, or where can people find you to do more research on what we've talked about? Gregory Meadows: Yeah, so people can find me through YouTube. I'm on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok. you can find my videos and content there. Keenan: Yes. Gregory Meadows: I do three consults. all you have to do is message me, Gregory at walkie meadows.com. I do one on one sessions. if you're here in Denver locally, in person, virtually. I also teach a parent support class that's a live virtual 10-week course that I take families through childhood development and attachment theory. I help them Keenan: Yeah. Gregory Meadows: understand generational trauma and how that impacts Keenan: Yeah. Gregory Meadows: development. And so I take them through that. I'm doing a class series right now, actually. and I have a few openings still left for that class. but yeah, that's how they could find me. through social media, walking meadows, and emailing me Gregory at walkingmeadows.com. Keenan: Okay. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here and sharing your story. I had Gregory Meadows: Thank you, King. Keenan: thank you for just being open and honest and thank you so much. Gregory Meadows: You're welcome. Have a great day. Keenan: Me too.