Latest / CattleUSA Daily / 112: Lauren Gets Personal About Ranching and Raising the Next Generation

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112: Lauren Gets Personal About Ranching and Raising the Next Generation · CattleUSA Daily

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Welcome to the Cattle USA Daily podcast, your go to source for
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the latest livestock markets, industry insights and the update
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shaping agriculture today. I'm your host, Lauren Moylan, a
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passionate advocate for agriculture, here to keep you
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informed and connected. Now let's dive into today's
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episode. Welcome to another episode of
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the Cattle USA Daily podcast. Today we are talking something
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that hits home for me and I know it hits home for a lot of other
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individuals within the cattle industry.
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And here's the fact of the matter.
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All of us that are here involved in production agriculture, that
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grew up in production agriculture, we look back on our
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youth and I know that's this way for me and I'm sure it's this
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way for many of my peers. And we look at it and we're
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like, I would not trade growing up on a ranch for anything.
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I learned so much at a very young age that helped me become
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the adult that I am today. I learned about resilience, I
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learned about grief and I learned about hard work and time
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management and gosh, everything else.
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Like the concept of raising an animal builds you into an
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individual that you can't compare to someone that was not
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raised on a ranching operation or not raised in production
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agriculture. And it's really beautiful.
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But I know a lot of us can also relate to the fact that we're
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looking at the next generation and we're like, I, I want this
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for you. I want this ranch to be
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something that I can leave to you.
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I want you to love this ranch branch and I want you to love
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agriculture in what we're doing and as parents.
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I'm not a parent myself yet, but it's something that I've spent a
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lot of time thinking about. As a future parent, I I want my
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kids to be involved in agriculture.
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What that looks like yet, Lord only knows we're not there.
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But I think about this a lot, and I have a lot of friends that
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are parents that think about this a lot.
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And we've had a lot of conversations about this
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recently. And it's the concept of really
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wanting our kids to be able to stay and wanting them to love
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agriculture. And how do you instill that
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foundational success in the next generation without the pressure?
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Because unfortunately, a lot of my friends grew up on ranches
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with a lot of pressure. I'm very grateful that the
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ranching operation that I came came, my dad built and spent a
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lot of years building after his dad died.
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But at the end of the day, he never sat there and said, you
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have to take this over or I'm building this only for you.
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Or like putting an insurmountable amount of
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pressure on me as a young individual to think that like I
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had to do this or like the ranch was going to die or even as an
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adult. Now, my husband and I live about
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an hour and a half from the ranch.
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So we go back as often as we possibly can.
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But my brother's been home for the past multiple years.
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He just graduated high school this year.
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So he's been home for a really long time.
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And so when it came to shorter processing days or turning cows
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out to grass or things like that, that maybe they weren't
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entire day long things that he really did need an extra set of
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hands for. He didn't even like asked for
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help. He's like, hey, we're doing
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this. If you want to come, great.
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But like, if not, go live your life, go do your thing and took
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the pressure off. As an adult, I still experience
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that, but I really experienced that as a kid.
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Yeah, he absolutely was grinding my gears at 6:00 AM before
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school because I had to go and do chores.
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But that was different than like he, the way that it was
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approached in my family was very different from a obligation to
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a, we get to do this standpoint. And I grew, grew up as a child
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of like, I get to do this. I don't get me wrong, there were
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days in the middle of winter where I did not want to get up.
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I wanted to stay in my PJ's and not go do chores.
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But I learned the art of doing chores in your PJ's and the fact
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that if you have those really high muck boots, you can get a
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lot done in some fluffy PJ pants and still go back inside and go
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back to bed. And I learned the art of that at
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a very young age, But I know a lot of individuals didn't.
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And the reality of the situation is if we want the next
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generation to want to stay on the ranch and to want to be a
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part of it, we have got to change our mindsets as the
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parental generation of people raising the individuals on this
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ranch. And whether your kids are five
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years old or 5050, not 5015 years old or whether they're in
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their 30s, this is a podcast episode that I feel it can
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relate to everybody because they're are concepts that are
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going to relate to five year olds, but they're also going to
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relate to 30 year olds. And it is really important that
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we continue to not shame and to have an open conversation about
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this because it can be really, really hard to about building
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the next generation with an AG and what that looks like.
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And I do want to preface that every kid is different.
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Every individual is different. This is like, take it and leave
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it with what works for you. Take pieces here and there.
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But I hope that there's something in this episode and
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something in this conversation that we can gleam together and
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that can help just shine light on your situation and as a
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parent wanting to leave a family legacy that doesn't backfire.
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So here's the first thing that I want to talk about and it is,
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are you building a community within your family that doesn't
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put resentment towards the operation?
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And what I mean by this is do you have the mindset of we have
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to do this or we get to do this? I kind of touched on that in my
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story. And that was a big part of why I
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feel like I enjoyed growing up on a ranch as a young
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individual. And now as an adult looking back
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on it, I remember the highlights and not necessarily all of the
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billions of times that I'm sure my dad had to try and get me up
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a multiple times at 6:00 AM or 5:00 AM or whatever time it was
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to go and do chores. And it's because that was
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instilled in me that we get to do this.
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And there was joy and everything else that surrounded the
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activities that we were doing. It was happy and it was fun and
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we made it our own and we were listened to and questions were
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answered and things were explained.
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And that's a big part of it, of giving context where context is
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due of, hey, there's a reason we're getting up at 5:00 AM to
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do chores in the middle of summer.
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And that's not because you have school here in a couple hours
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and you're going to have to leave.
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But the reason we still do chores at 5:00 AM in the middle
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of summer is because it gets really hot in the middle of the
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day and we need to feed early. That way cattle can feed water
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and then lay back down to rest in a shaded area before it gets
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hot. And explaining those things,
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because if you don't take the five seconds to explain them and
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just say, because I said so or because that's the way we do it,
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that's that's not leaving anyone with anything.
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And explanations can go a long way.
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And I think it's one of those things that we need to remember
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that we are building the next generation.
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And with building the next generation that comes
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transparency as well. So are you explaining things?
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But then are are you also being transparent about things?
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It's important to be honest. If things aren't going great,
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you need to share that. Now, are you sharing that with a
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5 year old If your finances are plummeting, probably not.
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But if you have a 1518 year old on the ranch, yeah, it's
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important to share your finances with him.
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It's important to share your goals with them.
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What does the future look like for this operation and continue
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to discuss that. Is that something that you are
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discussing around the dinner table of like, hey, how did your
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day go? What's going on on the ranch?
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What are like the finances looking like?
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What are our goals looking like? Are we on track with our goals?
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And then what does the future look like?
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What are your dreams? What are your aspirations on the
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ranch and off the ranch and letting those two kind of be
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separate sometimes too, because individuals can have goals for
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their futures in AG, but they can also have goals for their
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futures outside of AG. If you've been listening to this
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podcast for a while, you probably know a little bit about
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my background on my story, but I'll share it again for those
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that don't remember or that haven't heard it before.
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I graduated high school a semester early at 18 and I said
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peace out. I wanted nothing to do with
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production agriculture. I saw all of the just trials and
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tribulations that my family went through because of a cow calf
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operation and because of growing up in production AG.
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And I said that I, I didn't want anything to do with it.
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I, I was like, I, Nope, I'm, I'm good.
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It was so joyous. But also I was 18 and I wanted a
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different future and my family really actually pushed me to go
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a different path outside of agriculture and outside of
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specifically production AG. So I went to Lincoln and I
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thought that I was going to be in medical school and I did that
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for a couple 2 1/2 years. I was in medical school and
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doing all the things to go on that path.
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And then life changed. Life changed and then I moved
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back down to Manhattan and I thought I wanted to teach kids,
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decided I love kids, not necessarily other people's kids.
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So I've changed again. I still like second choice.
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I still didn't choose to go back to AG.
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I was at K State and still didn't choose an AG degree.
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And then life changed again and I was like, you know what?
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I want to go back to my roots. I want to go back to the
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industry that built me, the industry that I look back on and
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I, I truly have a raging passion for and want to be involved,
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even if it means that I might not be making as much money as I
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made If I was going to go be a doctor somewhere.
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And I came back, took me a few years, took me a few years.
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And it took me a few years of, of having to be completely
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removed from it to remind myself of how much I needed it and how
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much I loved it. And so are we being transparent
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with our kids and are we, when we're discussing these goals and
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what the future holds, allowing them that space to have a future
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outside of the operation as well?
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And not shaming them in it and not just allowing them that
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space and that opportunity to not be involved.
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Because if that's their path, that's OK.
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And it might not be the path that you originally had planned
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for them. But I can tell you from
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experience as a very strong willed individual that if you
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tell me what to do, I'm probably going to do the opposite.
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And so my parents did a great job at letting me kind of do my
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own thing because they knew damn well if they told me what to do
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or even kind of hinted at what to do, I was not going to
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listen. I was not going to listen in the
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slightest. And so it is so important that
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we allow space for that and we allow space for communication
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and open communication through every aspect of a child's life
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growing up on the ranch. Are you going to tell you tell a
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5 year old the same thing? So you're going to tell your 18
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year old absolutely not You're not.
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But how are you approaching your relationship with them?
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How are you approaching life on the ranch and how are you
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approaching the concept of we get to do this?
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And because I will say, your kids look up to you and the next
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generation looks up to you way more than you ever think that
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they do. They are watching, they are
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listening. And even if you aren't having a
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conversation directly with them, the way that you react to things
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that happen on the ranch matters.
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It absolutely matters. So you need to get yourself
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right before you can ever expect them to want to have a place in
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agriculture. Because if you as an individual
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aren't happy, you can't expect your children to be happy with
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an operation that you are handing down to them.
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They're watching you, they're looking at you, they're looking
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at you for advice. So if you are not happy, they're
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going to look at you and be like, well, mom and dad aren't
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happy. Why would I want this, right?
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So get yourself right first and then you can start focusing on
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them and then you can start focusing on that next
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generation. And how can we continue to
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foster this to be a place that you love and a place that brings
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joy to you and not a place that brings heartache and stress and
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pressure and all of these other things that can come along with
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it. So with this, I would be
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reminisce if I didn't tell you some quick points of things that
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I think that we need to be doing and what actually needs to be
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done for this next generation. So first and foremost, we need
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connection before contribution. You need to let them belong
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before you expect them to buy in.
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And what I mean by this is every individual, every kid is going
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to have an aspect that they love about the ranch or the rural
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community or anything like that. Like let them figure that out
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for themselves and then let them buy in.
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So let them connect to the soul behind agriculture before you
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expect them to buy in. Next, I want you to explain the
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why behind tasks to an annoying degree, honestly.
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Like my dad still does it to this day and I'm actually really
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grateful for it because there are certain aspects that still
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to this day I don't fully understand.
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And even if I do, when he's explaining them, then we can
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have a great conversation about it.
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And then if he's just explaining something that maybe either I've
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forgotten in or that has changed or that I just didn't pay
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attention to the last time we did it, it's helpful.
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And so explain it to them at no matter what age they are.
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Because if we know the reason behind why we're doing daily
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jobs, whether it be things from animal welfare to finances to
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just different things within a vaccination schedule or things
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like that, it makes us understand why to the point that
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I made earlier, why are we getting up at 5:00 AM to do
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chores in the middle of summer? I don't have to get on the
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school bus in an hour and a half or two hours.
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Well, that's because XYZ on with the story and explaining that to
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a degree that is almost annoying.
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You're going to go through a lot of explaining your entire life.
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But I also find from an aspect as a producer myself of if I'm
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explaining things and teaching other people, it reminds me of
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why I'm doing things. It reminds me and it makes me
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think of things again of like, OK, why are we doing this
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certain animal welfare practice? Why are we doing this certain
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financial thing? Why, why did we choose to go
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with this person? It makes me second guess things,
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not in a negative way, but it makes me actually think about
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them and not just go on of like, this is the way we've always
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done it. It makes me actually sit there
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and think, is this, Is this still the best way to do this?
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And when I'm explaining it, I'm kind of re teaching myself and
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then I'm able to better explain it to people outside of my
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family as well. The next thing I want you to do.
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So once you do invite ideas and ownership into these
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conversations, it can be really hard to give kids ownership over
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different aspects of business. But whether it be something as
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small as just like a suggestion, let them like let them try it
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even if it fails. One of the best things that my
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dad did for us was when we were young and growing up, we showed
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cattle. We showed cattle at a national
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level. We showed, we showed bred cattle
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and that was actually a big part of our business and still is.
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It's a purebred cow calf operation and we still show
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cattle at the national level. But growing up with that, my dad
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wanted us to be able to show bred and own cattle.
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And with that, that means that we had to own the mom before the
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baby was born, before the calf was born.
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And with that, when we first started actually showing and oh
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gosh, I, I started showing when I was 2 years old.
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I I was walking barely, but they needed someone to be in pee wee
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showmanship and they didn't have have anyone.
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And so I got thrown in the ring at 2 years old and started then
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and I have not kicked the itch sense.
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But with that, dad gave us a calf when we were first starting
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out that transferred it to our name.
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And then that was our cow and all of the babies out of them,
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all of the progeny. We we kept all of them the lines
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all the way down. And those animals are still in
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my name to this day. They're in my name.
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And then the cattle operations name every single progeny that
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has come out of that pairing and then any other cattle that I've
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bought. He also gave us the opportunity
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to a very young age to go get an FHA loan as a, you can go get an
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FHA loan as a young individual with an agriculture, get a loan
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to go buy cows. And he gave us that opportunity
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to do that. And it gave us the opportunity
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to sit down with a banker and explain why we were buying the
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cows and how it was going to help us and what we were going
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to do with the money and everything.
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Oh gosh, I think I was probably 10 or 11 when I did that.
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And I didn't really know what I was doing, but it opened my eyes
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up to a different aspect of the business and made me understand
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loans and operational loans and getting a loan to get cows.
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And then the FHA officer would come out once a year and be
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like, all right, show me your cows what's going on?
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Tell me how's it going and all of those things and talk to me
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about the loan. And we were given the
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opportunity to try things. And within that cow herd, we
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were given the opportunity to make breeding decisions.
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And if a breeding decision went extremely well, amazing.
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And if it failed, guess whose fault that was?
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Me and mine alone. And that was really empowering
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because it taught me, oh gosh, an insurmountable amount of
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lessons from just life skills, lessons of owning and operating
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a business alongside another business.
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Because guess what? We still had to pay for our hay.
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I still had to pay for grain. I still had to pay a lot of
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things. Even though the cows were in my
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name and they were running with my dad's cows and all of those
17:20
things, I've, I still had to pay the big operation at the end of
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the year. And just for a financial reason,
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we didn't actually trade money back and forth.
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He was like, OK, so you have 3 calves this year.
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These were your expenses is what the calf market is looking like.
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I'm going to, you're going to sell me one of the like, quote
17:38
UN quote, sell me one of these calves and that's going to pay
17:41
your bills for the year. And it taught me a lot.
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And I attribute a lot of my joy that I had as a young individual
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and a lot of the ownership that I felt like I was able to grow
17:52
in the leadership positions that I was able to get into.
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I can attribute a lot of them to that to my parents letting me
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have ownership over a certain aspect of the operation.
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And then the next point that I had was show them the business.
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And this goes right back into what I was just talking about.
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So that's the age appropriate financial transparent talking to
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them about the project, like the management software's that
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you're using, how is your Excel spreadsheet organized?
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How is how are breeding decisions made?
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How are like all of these things, show them the business
18:25
side of the business, not just like, hey, we got to go feed hay
18:28
today or we're working cows or we're checking cows or we're
18:32
calving out or doing all those things.
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Like, yeah, that's a big part of the business.
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But show them the behind the scenes of the books and the
18:39
actual business behind it and all the goals and thoughts and
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everything that goes into that. Then along with the goals
18:45
aspect, I want you to ask them about their goals and even if
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that means goals outside of agriculture, ask them about
18:54
their goals. And I encourage you to listen to
18:57
all of them. And I encourage you to encourage
18:59
them to have goals within agriculture and within the
19:02
operation. And then goals without outside
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of it too, because that shows that like, hey, we can have
19:07
balance. You'd I'm not asking you to just
19:08
have goals within the production side.
19:11
I'm not asking you to have goals just within our business.
19:14
I'm also asking you to like have goals with your basketball team.
19:18
Like if you are loving basketball or football right
19:20
now, I want you to go have goals with that.
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And I want you to go kick butt doing those things and truly
19:27
just allow yourself to build a generation that doesn't resent
19:31
the operation because it's all of their life.
19:34
You want the operation to be a part of their life, but you
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don't want it to be all of their life.
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Because a big part of the individuals that I grew up with
19:41
that are no longer involved in production.
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I, I think it was because it was their whole life.
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They didn't go on vacations, they didn't experience the
19:49
world, they didn't get to experience culture, They didn't
19:51
get to experience doing anything outside of the ranch.
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And so then they went to adulthood and they were like,
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screw the ranch. I'm going to go travel the
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world. I'm going to go experience
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things. I'm going to go live and learn
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culture and start a business and do all of these things that I
20:05
didn't have the opportunity to do or didn't feel like I had the
20:09
opportunity to do alongside the ranch.
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It is really important that we look at the ranch as an aspect
20:13
of our lives, not our whole lives, because if it's our whole
20:16
lives. Lives, that's where resentment
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comes from because if you're not able to go do something that
20:22
your heart or God is calling you to do because of the ranch,
20:25
that's where resentment comes from.
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So don't use the ranch as a place where like, hey, this is
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all we are doing and this is all you get to do.
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Let it be a part of their lives and let it be something that you
20:37
build together. Let it be something that your
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kids look at and they say this is ours, not this is mom and
20:45
dad's and celebrate all of the wins that come with that.
20:49
Celebrate all of the little things and celebrate them big
20:52
because the winds don't always come all the time.
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And so winds on and off the ranch, like if sports are going
20:58
great, if school's going great, awesome.
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Like absolutely support those wins and then support the winds
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on the ranch with equal amounts of fervency with that.
21:08
And I want to close with the fact that if they don't want to
21:11
stay, that's OK. That is that it's really OK.
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It's going to be uncomfortable, it's not fun to sit there.
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But I am a testament to someone who didn't want to stay and now
21:23
can't imagine my life without it multiple years down the road.
21:27
Give them 6-8 years. They're going to come crawling
21:30
back. And if they don't, that's still
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OK. There is going to be someone
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else who might not be your kid, but maybe they're a neighbor
21:38
down the road that just moved to your community and they're
21:41
starting out in production agriculture and they really need
21:44
someone willing to take a chance on them.
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And maybe that's your opportunity.
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Maybe it wasn't your kid that wants to carry it on.
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But someone will. Someone will carry it on.
21:54
And here's my thing about wrapping it all up, putting it
21:59
all in a happy bow is you don't have to be perfect.
22:01
No one is going to get this right every single day, every
22:05
single time. Are you going to get this right?
22:07
Are you going to lead with joy and contentment and just love?
22:12
No, not every day. And you don't have to be
22:15
perfect. I'm just asking you to be
22:17
present. Be present and be willing to
22:21
listen and be willing to be an individual that isn't going to
22:26
push these kids in ways that they don't want to go.
22:30
Lead without the pressure. Lead with purpose.
22:33
Lead with ways that they can be involved in their own way.
22:38
Because I am a testament to someone who said I'm out and
22:43
then came running back a few years later.
22:45
So no matter what it looks like when they do turn 18 and they
22:48
decide to go on with their own lives, let it be OK.
22:51
Let it be OK with whatever it's going to be, But do what you can
22:54
now before they get to that point to continue to foster love
23:00
for the operation. And then if you have kids that
23:03
are graduated and out of the house, continue to foster that.
23:06
Continue to not put pressure on them of I have expressed
23:10
multiple times to my family now like, hey, I want to be here, I
23:13
want to be involved. I want to love this.
23:16
But they don't call me every single week saying hey, we need
23:19
you to come home. Hey, we need this, hey, we need
23:21
that. It's more of a like, hey, once
23:24
or twice a month, it's hey, if you want to come home, we're
23:27
doing this this weekend and we'd love to have you.
23:30
But if you've got other things going on in your life, like go
23:32
live your life, Go be young, go enjoy, go enjoy your vacations,
23:35
go do all the things. But if you're, if you want to
23:37
come, we're doing this this weekend.
23:39
So I want to close out there. You don't have to be perfect.
23:42
Just be present, love them anyway.
23:44
And no one's perfect and that's uncomfortable, but it is also
23:49
beautiful. So that's what I encourage all
23:51
of you to do. I encourage all of you to start
23:53
having great conversations with your kids.
23:55
Ask them about their operation, ask them what they love, ask
23:58
them what they don't love, and just start to involve them in
24:01
any way that you possibly can. As always, thank you to everyone
24:05
who is listening today. I appreciate you tuning into
24:08
another episode and listening to me yap and share a little bit
24:12
more about my story and how personal we got today.
24:15
I appreciate your guys's openness and just willingness to
24:20
be with us every single day on this podcast.
24:22
We appreciate all of you guys as listeners.
24:24
And as always, make sure you like subscribe, rate, review.
24:27
Seriously, if you take 30 seconds to go do those things,
24:30
it means the world to us in every aspect, no matter what
24:33
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24:36
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24:38
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24:41
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rating. It really, really helps us get
24:47
amazing more guests on and just continue to grow this free
24:50
content for you guys. So as always, thank you.
24:52
I hope you guys have a blessed rest of your day and we'll see
24:55
you all tomorrow on another episode.
24:57
Have a good one y'all.