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Episode 3 - But first, a word from our sponsor · Three Damned Dudes

• 0:36
  Hell yeah. All right, hey, and welcome to
• 0:40
  another episode of the Three Damn Dudes podcast for they.
• 0:47
  Have three damn dudes this time. Oh no, still not the third.
• 0:53
  Damn dude. Which is fucked up.
• 0:57
  For those of you watching the video version of this shit show,
• 1:01
  we do in fact have 3 1/2 dudes on the podcast today.
• 1:07
  But like Jimmy said, still not our third damned dude.
• 1:12
  And like we said in episode 2, when we hit a bazillion
• 1:17
  followers on Reddit, we will introduce our third damn dude to
• 1:22
  the world. So Jimmy, you got any fun
• 1:30
  fucking stories from this last week?
• 1:36
  You're just a boring bitch again.
• 1:38
  Oh. Dude, I don't remember what?
• 1:39
  I don't remember what it was, though.
• 1:43
  I was like, I got to talk about this on the podcast because it's
• 1:46
  funny and I don't remember what it was.
• 1:49
  Well, we could talk about the Facebook debacle.
• 1:56
  Yeah, that that can be your your weekly recap.
• 1:58
  Tell us about your your Facebook fuckery.
• 2:03
  All right, so we have I'm proud to announce that we have a
• 2:06
  Facebook again. So I made us a Facebook the
• 2:13
  first time we, we started this and it was linked to my profile,
• 2:19
  my, my home, my, my main profile.
• 2:23
  And so I was like, shit, I don't want that.
• 2:25
  So I'm trying to figure out how to do it.
• 2:29
  So I end up deactivating that and then I'm trying to ChatGPT
• 2:36
  how to make this account. And then ChatGPT is like, well,
• 2:40
  you got to have a main profile to link it to 1st.
• 2:43
  I'm like well shit and it says or unless you go to business and
• 2:47
  make a business account. So I did that.
• 2:51
  I get on the business account and I make that.
• 2:54
  And then I'm not really sure what happened with that because
• 2:59
  when I try to put the e-mail in for that it says it doesn't
• 3:02
  exist even though I clearly made one last week.
• 3:06
  But then once I made it, I accidentally reactivated the one
• 3:09
  that I deleted that's attached to my main account.
• 3:13
  I was like well shit. And when you reactivate it, you
• 3:16
  can't deactivate it for at least 48 hours.
• 3:18
  So I've been in limbo for 48 hours.
• 3:21
  And then finally, like today, I sit down at the computer because
• 3:25
  it's been 4 days now since I've been since I've made this
• 3:28
  account. And it turns out I do need it
• 3:31
  linked to my personal account. And it doesn't matter because I
• 3:35
  can just add your personal account to it too and we could
• 3:39
  both just access it and I don't have to give you my login
• 3:42
  information to get on it 'cause you can get on it, right?
• 3:45
  Yeah. Yeah, so I'm just fucking idiot.
• 3:47
  Is is all that it is. Like I thought it was Facebook,
• 3:50
  but it's just me. Even with Chat GPTI couldn't
• 3:54
  figure it out. Two things I love how ChatGPT is
• 3:59
  the new fucking Google. Or like the help page, that's
• 4:03
  number one and #2 is poop and #3 this is what Jimmy fucking text
• 4:11
  me earlier today about this Facebook page.
• 4:15
  I can't figure it out man. It's not giving me the option.
• 4:17
  Maybe we can look into it together tonight. dot dot dot
• 4:21
  winky face emoji. Don't know what that was about.
• 4:23
  So stupid. Next text, apparently I did it
• 4:27
  right. More dots and then a winky face
• 4:30
  and I just deleted it before I found out.
• 4:33
  I'm going to kill myself with AD, not an F.
• 4:37
  I'm not sure what a my cell is, but Jimmy's going to kill it.
• 4:41
  So what I'm going to do is I'm going to make this stupid
• 4:44
  account for 1/3 time and see if ChatGPT is right.
• 4:48
  It's live. I'm just an idiot.
• 4:50
  When are you getting on? And then he sends me.
• 4:56
  I want to die. It's a fucking lie.
• 5:01
  I'm jumping over the Detroit River.
• 5:06
  He's going out. He's going out for walleye so.
• 5:09
  Funny. I will are you get on your your
• 5:14
  weekly recap. Is that what you wanted to hit?
• 5:16
  I don't remember what I wanted to talk about, to be honest.
• 5:19
  Oh, if it comes to you. At some point, if it comes to
• 5:22
  you at some point, then we'll, we'll get into it, but I'll hit
• 5:24
  my weekly recap and then we'll introduce Luke and see if he's
• 5:28
  got any funny fucking story over the last seven days.
• 5:31
  And then we'll we'll roll into the actual show.
• 5:37
  So I actually took notes because I didn't want to fucking forget
• 5:41
  like some people on the show today.
• 5:44
  So in my notes, fuck snow and also ice and also long driveways
• 5:49
  and bullshit inclines. So I live on top of a hill and
• 5:54
  when it snows, it snows for real.
• 5:57
  Not like Michigan for real, but it snows for real. the Super
• 6:02
  cool thing was it rained before it snowed and then it got stupid
• 6:07
  cold. Like it got down into the teens
• 6:09
  and didn't get out of the teens. It was great.
• 6:14
  So I had a solid layer of ice under all of that snow on my
• 6:19
  driveway that's like 1/2 fucking mile long.
• 6:26
  So yeah, by the time I realized there was ice under the snow on
• 6:29
  the driveway, it was already too late to fucking do anything
• 6:31
  about it. And I slid down the driveway
• 6:36
  that next day that I had to go to work.
• 6:40
  So I ended up doing was parking my car at my neighbor's house
• 6:43
  down the hill and then shuttling myself back and forth like a
• 6:47
  fucking pleb in my side by side because that wasn't sliding up
• 6:52
  and down the driveway. So that was that was super fun.
• 6:56
  And that's the first one of the season and it's only like
• 6:59
  December 16th. So it's going to be it's going
• 7:02
  to be a good winter. I'm going to have to spend a
• 7:05
  small fortune in fucking rock salt.
• 7:08
  But Speaking of the side by side, I got a plow for the side
• 7:13
  by side, which is super duper. Except the plow showed up after
• 7:18
  it had already snowed and I was missing hardware in the parts
• 7:22
  kit, so even if I got it before it fucking snowed, it wouldn't
• 7:28
  have mattered. And just a PSA out there for
• 7:33
  everyone. Snow is in fact, cold.
• 7:37
  This is something that my 3 year old had to relearn for the seven
• 7:40
  thousandth fucking time. So we walk out of the backyard
• 7:44
  and I'm walking to the shed, which is off to the right, and
• 7:47
  my daughter Ridley cuts hard left to go play with her fucking
• 7:50
  outside toys in the fucking snow.
• 7:53
  Because logic, Yeah. So I'm in the shed just fucking,
• 7:58
  I'm looking for a power inverter that I don't fucking find, which
• 8:02
  is pissing me off. And then I hear my daughter
• 8:06
  across the yard just start fucking screaming and staring at
• 8:10
  her hands and I'm like, what in the actual fuck is going on?
• 8:15
  So I slowly walk over there because there's like a 5% chance
• 8:20
  she actually fucked herself up. There's nothing sharp.
• 8:23
  All of the scary bugs and critters are gone, and there's
• 8:26
  no large critters in the backyard.
• 8:27
  So she's probably not dying. It's probably fine.
• 8:34
  And I walk over there and her hands are like fire truck red.
• 8:40
  And I look at her and I'm like, what's wrong?
• 8:42
  And she, my hands are cold. I'm like, yeah, did you play in
• 8:48
  the snow without gloves on? Yeah, I'm like, yeah, you
• 8:56
  remember when I told you not to touch the fucking snow when you
• 9:00
  walked over here and you fucking did it anyway and she says
• 9:04
  nothing and I'm like, yeah, actions have consequences, huh?
• 9:10
  How was? Your Fit and we 3.
• 9:13
  Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 9:14
  She, she, she lives life turned up to 11.
• 9:18
  Just fucking full send like Larry the Enticer.
• 9:21
  Yeah, for. Sure, it's beautiful.
• 9:23
  She's fucking feral. But yeah, that was probably the
• 9:27
  quickest recap I've ever done. And again, PSA for all all of
• 9:33
  our listeners. Snow.
• 9:36
  Snow is fucking cold. OK, Just jot that down, Luke.
• 9:46
  Luke the tan belt motherfucking warrior.
• 9:49
  Ladies and gentlemen. You got any funny stories over
• 9:54
  the last week? Let's see.
• 10:01
  Are we just not going to go into who the fuck Luke is We're.
• 10:04
  Just we're just, we're just going to gloss right over that
• 10:07
  I, I'm of no importance. We, we, we right now have an
• 10:13
  issue where I work, which is always got something going on.
• 10:22
  You know, if, if you've ever spent more than 30 seconds
• 10:25
  waiting in line at an auto parts store, you know, it's a cluster
• 10:30
  fuck. Every single time if I see
• 10:33
  someone at the auto parts store, I know I'm going to see them
• 10:37
  one, maybe 3-4, five times more that day.
• 10:41
  So we have we have an employee who thought it was wise to film
• 10:48
  himself doing Tik Toks TikTok. He's doing tik toks over here in
• 10:54
  uniform in the store, on the clock, mumbling along to some
• 11:00
  rap song about well fuck you and fuck you too.
• 11:04
  And I got 2 middle fingers, I got 2 for you.
• 11:08
  Just like really ignorant stuff. So my boss, she loves to hash
• 11:16
  and rehash and triplicate triplicately rehash a story
• 11:21
  after she's told it. OK I walk in, she tells me the
• 11:27
  next guy walks in, she tells him our district manager shows up,
• 11:32
  she lets him know. So now I've heard this story 5
• 11:35
  times and I have heard the video five times and I'm actually
• 11:39
  starting to like scream inside a little bit and then Tweedle dumb
• 11:46
  ass shows up and I just kind of look at him and I'm like OK bye.
• 11:54
  And I clock out and I just walk out the door 'cause I'm like, I
• 11:57
  swear to God, if I have to hear this song, literal song and
• 12:02
  dance, if I have to hear it six times in an hour, I'm look, I'm
• 12:10
  not saying I condone workplace violence, but I do understand
• 12:13
  it. All right?
• 12:15
  You know why the mailman go crazy?
• 12:19
  Because the mail never fucking stops, all right?
• 12:22
  And if a story doesn't stop, I'm going to stop it.
• 12:28
  They're just trying to live their lives, Luke.
• 12:31
  You've got these people who are just making Tik Toks having a
• 12:34
  good old time. Nope, I don't and.
• 12:36
  You're like, you're like, not on my watch, you ain't.
• 12:40
  If you don't know how to brush your teeth and wash your hair,
• 12:42
  you don't get to live life to the fullest.
• 12:44
  That's all I'm saying, man. OK.
• 12:51
  I feel like you left that part out all right.
• 12:55
  All right, if if some butts are candies and nuts, I wouldn't.
• 12:58
  You know what? I'm going to stop right there.
• 13:01
  Because you were you were going to say you'd start sucking.
• 13:07
  If if some butts are candies and nuts and why are they all over
• 13:10
  my face? Yeah.
• 13:15
  Luke, we're going to we're going to send you a sourdough starter
• 13:17
  for being our first guest on the podcast.
• 13:27
  I did. I did.
• 13:29
  I did make an addition to the Google Docs, by the way.
• 13:31
  I don't know what you're talking about.
• 13:33
  I was productive. Where the fuck?
• 13:39
  Is that a Jones soda? What you sipping on?
• 13:41
  This is a beer. Hell yeah.
• 13:45
  Jimmy, are you going to talk about that or do you want me to
• 13:47
  talk about that? I'll present.
• 13:49
  Hang on. Why does it look no what no why
• 13:56
  does it look like that that? Sir is a grown up leaner.
• 14:04
  Wouldn't know, never seen one. Jimmy's about to outgrow Jesus
• 14:11
  and he's still not growing up. A winner take.
• 14:16
  That Jesus. Oh God.
• 14:20
  All right, well, now that that fucking bit's over.
• 14:24
  Luke, you were in the military. For a period of time, yes, that
• 14:31
  is correct. Who the fuck are you?
• 14:36
  I don't know, man. God has decided to let me live
• 14:40
  yet another day and I've decided to make it everybody else's
• 14:43
  problem who I am. I'm the guy that holds down the
• 14:51
  counter at the auto parts store and gives lip to everybody that
• 14:56
  walks. In so Luke and I go, we go way
• 15:00
  back, basically. All the way back to the nuts,
• 15:04
  actually. Yeah, Luke and I shared our
• 15:09
  first apartment together in our dad's ball sack.
• 15:11
  So that was, that was, that was, that was neat.
• 15:14
  Look, man, he moved out, left me to cover the other half of the
• 15:17
  rent. We don't really talk about it.
• 15:20
  Yeah, that those are some spicy times.
• 15:22
  So Luke, despite being told several fucking times not to, to
• 15:28
  literally do anything else, this fucking ass hat joined the
• 15:32
  fucking Marine Corps and what, you were in for one enlistment.
• 15:39
  Yeah, yeah. And this motherfucker, he, he's
• 15:45
  like, you know what? I want to be just like my big
• 15:49
  dumb. Brother.
• 15:52
  Is our third damn dude there? Our third damn dude just walked
• 15:55
  in the door. Hell yeah.
• 15:57
  Hi Maddie, don't be fucking rude.
• 16:11
  Don't sound too excited. So Luke enlisted in the Marine
• 16:14
  Corps after I explicitly told him to not fucking do that,
• 16:19
  literally do anything but that. But he said, you know what?
• 16:24
  That guy doesn't know shit and he moved out early.
• 16:26
  Fuck that guy. I'm going to join the Marine
• 16:29
  Corps and I will never forget. He calls me and he goes, hey, my
• 16:35
  recruiter wants me to sign a Seaburn contract and I went, OK,
• 16:42
  So what? What are your options?
• 16:45
  Like when, when does he want you to sign?
• 16:48
  And he goes, no, there, that was the option and I signed it and
• 16:53
  I'm like, well, OK, your recruiter doesn't want you to
• 16:55
  sign a fucking Seaburn contract, but you just signed a Seaburn
• 16:59
  contract. So have fun with that.
• 17:04
  So yeah, Luke from from that point, go ahead and tell us who
• 17:09
  you who you are or were at a keep it at like a slightly below
• 17:15
  wave top level. So enlisted 17, turned 18 in
• 17:23
  boot camp. We took the only trophy that
• 17:27
  mattered, which was the Spartan helmet for the endurance course.
• 17:30
  We got kicked off the parade deck for initial drill.
• 17:35
  Oh, all right. Left face rap step, go away.
• 17:41
  Went to North Carolina combat training.
• 17:45
  I witnessed a three piece wombo combo where two guys were having
• 17:51
  a problem in the in the laundry room and turned into seven.
• 17:58
  One guy walked away, came back about 5 minutes later with a
• 18:02
  combo lock and a boot sock and that ended exactly how you think
• 18:06
  that did. Shattered the left half of the
• 18:09
  guy's face, orbital socket blown.
• 18:14
  So I, I got to witness that. That was pretty epic.
• 18:19
  I saw a raccoon named Benny the size of like, I don't know, a, a
• 18:26
  pit bull, like a 30 LB pit bull who you know, is a federally
• 18:31
  protected wildlife. So he knows exactly where the
• 18:34
  food is kept and he is going to get it.
• 18:37
  God help. Did you give him cigarettes?
• 18:40
  No, I did not. Damn.
• 18:42
  No, I, I steered very clear of Benny.
• 18:48
  I, I, I let him do what he was going to do.
• 18:51
  One time we got told, Hey, you and two others go clean up
• 18:55
  behind the bleachers. There's a bunch of trash and MRE
• 18:57
  junk back there. So we go back there to clean up
• 19:00
  and like we hear the sound of movement and we all kind of stop
• 19:05
  and turn around and look around and there's 30 LB raccoon just
• 19:11
  like bulldog looking at us and we're like we're going to go
• 19:20
  just stop cleaning. Just picked up what we had and
• 19:22
  left. We said that's good enough.
• 19:28
  Went to MOS school in Fort Leonard Wood, MO.
• 19:33
  Last in the woods. Was whoa guy not cool?
• 19:42
  That was something else. I was there for about 3 1/2
• 19:47
  months awaiting training because don't you know it?
• 19:51
  In 2019, No 2018, the Marine Corps was only running 30
• 20:01
  students at a time and it's a three month course and I got
• 20:07
  there the night of the day that that class picked up.
• 20:13
  So I got to wait 3 1/2 months in a awaiting training platoon.
• 20:20
  That other time that sucked. Got into the schoolhouse, did
• 20:32
  pretty good. I think I had like a minus
• 20:36
  average, kept kept good grades. We had a guy intentionally fail
• 20:43
  because he can fail three tests before they like cycle you back
• 20:46
  out to somewhere else. He's like, fuck this.
• 20:50
  I don't want to be Seaburn. I want to be an MP.
• 20:54
  OK, so it fails the first Test and they go, Are you sure?
• 20:58
  And he goes, Yep, fails the second test.
• 21:00
  And they go, hey, look, like legit sit him down.
• 21:03
  And they go, hey, look, if you change your mind, you have one
• 21:10
  opportunity, OK? You have a single singular
• 21:15
  chance if you change your mind after this.
• 21:17
  And he goes, Nope, I don't want to be here.
• 21:19
  Fails the third test. And they'd like 1 morning when
• 21:24
  we're all waiting to go into the classroom, we're in formation.
• 21:29
  And I call him out in front of the whole class and he comes up
• 21:32
  and they go, hey everybody, this Marine is no longer one of your
• 21:38
  classmates. However, we are not going to
• 21:44
  release him until this class graduates.
• 21:48
  So he will still be around. But understand he's not one of
• 21:51
  your classmates from MOS school. I got orders out to, you can't
• 22:03
  penalty them with a couple of couple of guys that I really
• 22:06
  didn't talk to during MOS school, like knew of them, was
• 22:10
  around them. Obviously it's only a group of
• 22:12
  30 guys. You get to know everybody but me
• 22:18
  and these three guys. We get orders out to Camp
• 22:24
  Pendleton and we get there in like the middle of the night and
• 22:28
  we're at the duty Hut trying to check in and get rooms and stuff
• 22:32
  and our gunnery Sergeant shows up to collect us.
• 22:37
  And obviously we're all like deer in headlights, no idea what
• 22:42
  the fuck is going on. And here comes this 5 foot
• 22:47
  nothing gunnery Sergeant with a full sleeve of flames down his
• 22:53
  right arm and he he just kind of struts into place and he's like
• 22:58
  hey you guys hungry? Drops 2 pizzas on the counter of
• 23:01
  the duty Hut and we're like yes by all means we are, yeah
• 23:05
  please, we're very happy. And then spent six or seven
• 23:17
  months at the first set of shops and then Motor T came through
• 23:21
  and stole our shop from us because they wanted our lot.
• 23:25
  And then we got sheisted over to the medical combat training
• 23:32
  school at the foot of E hill. That was super cool to be in
• 23:38
  that shop with those guys with the with the machine gun basic
• 23:41
  crew course and the combat cabs with the care course.
• 23:45
  That was a really, really cool place to get in and be a part
• 23:50
  of. So to to run Seaburn.
• 23:54
  Oh, hey, I literally haven't talked at all about what my job
• 23:56
  was. But you know, I got to do a
• 24:00
  really cool job there because I got to tag in with the infantry
• 24:03
  training team and the combat casualty training team.
• 24:07
  So I got to go through all the training.
• 24:09
  And then once everybody in our section went through and kind of
• 24:13
  got like proofed, they're like OK, now we're OK with you guys
• 24:19
  teaching because we've ensured that you understand what's going
• 24:24
  on in our course and you will be able to understand where your
• 24:29
  instruction fits in with our course of knowledge.
• 24:36
  That was super tight. We caught a couple boot drops in
• 24:40
  there. I still keep in touch with some
• 24:43
  of those guys. Some of those guys were pretty
• 24:45
  dumb. But weren't we all, especially
• 24:50
  me, I'd, I know I was very dumb, am still kind of dumb.
• 24:55
  I don't know, maybe. Anyway, we inevitably all good
• 25:01
  things come to an end and we got like stolen away from there
• 25:05
  because the way that our command structure was set up, we like
• 25:11
  didn't have a battalion. We went straight from Seaburn
• 25:17
  platoon to MLG and we kind of like fell under like
• 25:23
  headquarters company, but like only kind of under the umbrella.
• 25:29
  So they're like, hey, look, we need, we need to like see you
• 25:32
  and know what's going on. So they said pick up your whole
• 25:35
  operation again and move it over to the headquarters company
• 25:39
  office. That kind of that, that kind of
• 25:43
  sucked. It was cool.
• 25:44
  We had a warehouse, but it was also kind of dumb because like
• 25:48
  now we're stuck in with admin who never shows up, legit like
• 25:55
  never shows up. And then you have first Sergeant
• 25:58
  and for some reason we had like a different CEO.
• 26:01
  It seemed like every three months.
• 26:04
  So the best way that I can put what headquarters company was
• 26:10
  was like the island of Misfit toys.
• 26:12
  It was either guys getting sepped, getting separated,
• 26:18
  excuse me, guys that were on like height and weight, guys
• 26:22
  that were like transferring back from deployment duties or TA DS
• 26:27
  out. Like no joke, we probably had
• 26:30
  like 5 different CE OS over the course of a year.
• 26:33
  So you literally never knew who was gonna show up to any
• 26:38
  formation from there? I got to do a couple really cool
• 26:46
  things. I got to do a dirt bike training
• 26:52
  course. I got I got paid on the
• 26:54
  government dime to go and spend 5 business days learning how to
• 27:00
  RIP and roar on a dirt bike. Hell yeah.
• 27:04
  Because I had a motorcycle and you have to do 3 trainings a
• 27:07
  year. I did my AI did my B and my
• 27:11
  Sergeant just said, hey, Smith, you got to sign up for a
• 27:13
  training. So you're green.
• 27:15
  And I said, OK, how do? And he said use this website
• 27:19
  because he rode too. So he was like, yeah, bro,
• 27:21
  here's this website. Sign up for something and tell,
• 27:25
  tell me and Gunny by the end of the day that you've signed up
• 27:27
  for something. OK So I jump on there and I'm
• 27:31
  looking around it like, you know, unit rides count.
• 27:35
  And I'm like OK well the unit rides here are like 4 people so
• 27:39
  no thanks. And I come across motocross
• 27:45
  super camp and I'm like pull up the info and it's like 5 days.
• 27:53
  Must be command approved. Must have motorcycle to show up
• 27:57
  to da, da da da da da. Must have license.
• 28:00
  So I'm like, hey Sergeant, can I sign up for this one?
• 28:03
  He goes, I do not care, just sign up, make it green.
• 28:07
  And I go, OK, put my name on the list and said, hey Sergeant
• 28:15
  Gunny, I signed up for this. And they said, you know what
• 28:22
  they said, OK, well you're green, I guess.
• 28:26
  Bye. That was super cool. 2 trailers
• 28:33
  full of stuff pulled up and they had engineers come out and like
• 28:38
  push dirt into little mini hills and like they wet down the
• 28:41
  track. Super cool.
• 28:45
  And then I got to go do mountain warfare training up at
• 28:49
  Bridgeport. Being a Sebring guy.
• 28:54
  Let's let's kind of branch away from that a little bit.
• 28:57
  I mean, I think I've, I think I've talked about like my, my,
• 29:01
  my formative years. As they say, being a Seaburn guy
• 29:07
  is a privilege. We are less than 1000 at any
• 29:12
  given time across the active duty Marine Corps from E1 to
• 29:18
  Chiwo 5. I had the pleasure of graduating
• 29:24
  under a Chief War Officer 5 and then I literally never saw one
• 29:32
  again my entire time in the Marine Corps.
• 29:37
  So being 1000 for 180,000, you learn a couple different hats
• 29:46
  being in operations, being in the S shops, being next to the
• 29:51
  one, the two being the three being in and around.
• 29:55
  The four is usually stuck off in their cage.
• 29:57
  But what's nice is me a Pfc to Lance Corporal to Pfc to Lance
• 30:03
  Corporal again. I got to be really cool with all
• 30:08
  the sergeants and the lieutenants and the captains and
• 30:11
  the major and the the whole head shed.
• 30:15
  Now was I stupid and I got the pee pee smack a couple times?
• 30:19
  Yeah. But was I also a really good
• 30:26
  guy? Also yes.
• 30:28
  Hang on, hang on, let's talk about that for a second, because
• 30:32
  I asked Mike on the last episode if he had been punished at all.
• 30:39
  I want to hear. I want to hear if you've done
• 30:42
  anything to get punished well, and what is your punishment?
• 30:47
  Why don't, why don't we? Let me tell this part because I
• 30:50
  have my curated version. Hang on now.
• 30:54
  So there's a difference in punishments here.
• 30:57
  There is doing something stupid and paying for it counselling
• 31:03
  with pain, and there is doing something stupid and paying for
• 31:09
  it with paperwork. Indeed.
• 31:13
  So I opted as much as humanly possible for pain, whereas Luke
• 31:22
  tended to catch paperwork. Now the floor is yours.
• 31:27
  OK, so the reason I caught paperwork was because there
• 31:32
  really wasn't the option for pain.
• 31:37
  I always kind of said go big or go home.
• 31:40
  All right, so going big, they kind of go, yeah, no amount of
• 31:47
  burpees is going to fucking cover down for this.
• 31:52
  So I have my motorcycle, I'm at my first set of shops.
• 31:58
  We're back in the hills by EOD, by Master Guns Hill.
• 32:05
  There's a lot of trails to go running back there.
• 32:09
  There's a lot of. There's also a fucking bison
• 32:12
  back there. Yeah, anyway, I had a motorcycle
• 32:17
  to get to and from the barracks as it, you know, three or so
• 32:21
  miles for anybody that knows 14 area the.
• 32:25
  I think I know which one you're talking about.
• 32:27
  Yeah, anybody that knows that part of Camp Pendleton, Old main
• 32:30
  side, the top of the hill to the far side where where E hill.
• 32:38
  So Master Gun Hill to E Hill is probably about like 3 miles
• 32:41
  apart. So it it was quickly incumbent
• 32:47
  upon you if you wanted to have any kind of life outside of work
• 32:51
  to get a fucking vehicle and not be stuck with the one corporal
• 32:55
  that had a car. Because legitimately we had a
• 32:58
  corporal that had a car that didn't have a wife and kids.
• 33:03
  So it was whenever he felt like taking you home or picking you
• 33:10
  up for that matter. So I immediately got myself a
• 33:14
  motorcycle. Now my command was a Gunny, a
• 33:18
  Sergeant, couple corporals, then me and my 3 boot friends.
• 33:26
  They told us hey you need to get cars but do not buy a car until
• 33:32
  you have talked to us and done a financial worksheet.
• 33:36
  So I did my financials, I talked to them, they said cool you
• 33:42
  understand money go ahead. I went.
• 33:47
  I bought a motorcycle from a from a captain.
• 33:50
  You let me have this sweet little bike for three grand,
• 33:54
  paid for it in cash, bada boom done.
• 33:56
  Insured helmet, boots and regulations.
• 33:58
  All of it. Two of my friends come into work
• 34:06
  that Monday and new cars from the 5K lot.
• 34:14
  They did not talk to Sergeant and Gunny about it.
• 34:18
  I do not know how that conversation went because they
• 34:21
  let me go home immediately when the day was over and the other
• 34:26
  guys did not. I do not know what happened
• 34:31
  there, but I can assume. I can assume it's probably
• 34:35
  pretty fucking close to what happened to me the next day
• 34:37
  though, because as we're leaving, they say, hey,
• 34:42
  everybody, tomorrow, 0430, green on green, going for a run.
• 34:50
  I show up, I'm getting off my motorcycle, I get into the shop,
• 34:55
  I get into green on green, and I'm looking around like I'm
• 34:57
  missing something. And my Sergeant comes in and
• 35:02
  he's like, Smith, get your shoes on.
• 35:04
  And I go, oh, fuck shoes. And I go, Sergeant, you only
• 35:13
  said green on green. You didn't say anything about
• 35:16
  shoes. And, like, he kind of stops and
• 35:20
  you can see his brain, like, huh?
• 35:29
  So he says, you don't have your shoes.
• 35:31
  And I say no, Sergeant, I do not.
• 35:34
  He goes, OK, you know what? That's fine.
• 35:37
  Hey Corporal, take the rest of the platoon on the run that we
• 35:41
  had scheduled. Smith, don't worry, I have my
• 35:44
  boots. You and I'll go run in our
• 35:46
  boots, he said. Hey, you know what, while we're
• 35:52
  at it, if we're if we're doing CFT training because that's what
• 35:55
  you want to do today wearing boots.
• 35:59
  I've got to eat tool. I've got some sandbags here.
• 36:01
  You know what, we're going to go fill sandbags.
• 36:04
  Went filled sandbags, he said. All right, we're going to do
• 36:08
  some CFT training because that's what you want to do, right?
• 36:12
  All right, run them sandbags up the hill.
• 36:14
  I've got my sandbags. We're going to run these
• 36:16
  sandbags up the hill together. Run them up the hill, dump the
• 36:21
  sandbags, filled them again. And he said, remember which pile
• 36:25
  you just dumped out because you got to put all that sandbag
• 36:27
  right where it came from. Run back down the hill, dump
• 36:31
  that sand out into a pile, ran back up to the hill, put the
• 36:36
  sand back in the bag, ran it down, put that sand back in the
• 36:41
  bag, ran it back up. Did that, you know, couple
• 36:45
  times. And we get back to the shop
• 36:49
  probably 20 minutes after everybody else because learning
• 36:52
  was occurring. And I said, oh man, what did I
• 36:58
  even say? I said something I was like, or
• 37:03
  you know what it was? I didn't say anything about
• 37:06
  about the shoes thing. But his brain definitely broke
• 37:10
  when I said no, Sergeant, I don't have my shoes.
• 37:12
  And he kind of like went off on a little tirade and I just
• 37:16
  stayed zipped. And as we got done, I said,
• 37:22
  Sergeant, I'd, I know I messed up.
• 37:25
  I'm sorry, He said, you know what, Smith?
• 37:27
  I was going to cheat you out some more, but you've redeemed
• 37:32
  yourself that much. Go PMCS the gear.
• 37:43
  So yeah, I've, I've dug my share of holes, I've filled my share
• 37:47
  of sandbags. I have done my share of stupid
• 37:52
  shit. Now I was doing 65 miles in a 35
• 38:03
  mile an hour per zone because I had just gotten laid and I had a
• 38:10
  motorcycle and I was 19 and it was Southern California at like
• 38:15
  11:00 at night. I was feeling fucking good
• 38:19
  ma'am. So I got through the gate and I
• 38:22
  played nice at the gate and as soon as I was out of sight of
• 38:25
  the gate I went and I hit that corner and there were four MP
• 38:35
  cars lined up waiting for me just on the side of the road
• 38:40
  hanging out waiting for whoever wanted them.
• 38:44
  So I said I'm already doing 70, I might as well keep going.
• 38:53
  I hit the right by the PX and I went to make the left and I saw
• 38:56
  the lights come on behind me. He gets out of his car, slams
• 39:01
  the door. Were you trying to run from me?
• 39:04
  And I said no, I just didn't know if you were going to show
• 39:07
  up or not. So he writes me a ticket and he
• 39:13
  goes, you know, I should be arresting you right now.
• 39:16
  And I had nothing to say to that.
• 39:20
  So I'd show up the next day and I saw my Sergeant and I went, I
• 39:27
  need to go talk to my corporal first because I do not want to
• 39:33
  skip, you know, it's going to make its way to him.
• 39:35
  But I can, I can get 5 more minutes.
• 39:38
  OK, So I go, hey Corporal. Then the corporal grabs me by
• 39:47
  the collar and walks me over to Sergeant and Gunny's office
• 39:51
  because they share an office and he pops his head in the door.
• 39:56
  I'll smiley. Hey guys, I just thought you
• 39:59
  should know Smith almost got arrested last night and they
• 40:06
  said OK do tell. And I said I was going 65 and a
• 40:14
  35 and they went. OK, go away.
• 40:24
  We will come get you when we need you.
• 40:27
  That's. The fucking worst when you know
• 40:34
  you fucked up and they're just like, go sit in the chair do.
• 40:38
  Not go, Go away. Get out of.
• 40:40
  My sight. Go sit right there until I say
• 40:44
  your fucking name and don't do anything until that happens.
• 40:50
  I think they said Smith go clean, we'll we'll get you when
• 40:53
  we need you. I said, OK, so that shook out.
• 41:01
  That looked like page 11 and me having to not I.
• 41:09
  So the the first thing they said was Gunny said, all right, just
• 41:14
  got off the phone with First Sergeant.
• 41:17
  You're getting paperwork. You're getting to page 11.
• 41:21
  First Sergeant was going to make you come hang your keys up at
• 41:25
  the company office. And then First Sergeant changed
• 41:29
  her mind. First Sergeant just said, you
• 41:32
  know what, he can keep his keys, but he will not drive for 30
• 41:37
  days. And if we find out he has
• 41:41
  driven, we'll go from there. Yep.
• 41:48
  So it's safe to say I didn't touch my motorcycle for a month.
• 41:54
  I was out there washing it every few days, but I didn't drive it.
• 42:02
  Let's see, how about how about delivering punishments?
• 42:07
  Mike, you you ever you ever had a favorite go to paddle or a
• 42:13
  favorite stick to rap on people's knuckles?
• 42:17
  So yeah, and we actually touched on it a little bit and in the
• 42:21
  last episode, but my Sergeant, when I first showed up to my
• 42:26
  first unit, he was in his thing was like, hey, clean the Bay
• 42:30
  before you go home. Just make sure our workspace is
• 42:32
  fucking clean. Not a hard thing to fucking do,
• 42:35
  right? Just do that.
• 42:40
  So every, every so often we would forget and then we would
• 42:44
  get called back and the Bay would be trash and we'd have to
• 42:47
  field day of the Bay. So that was one thing that I I
• 42:52
  held on to real fucking tight. So when I was a senior corporal.
• 43:00
  I'm so sorry to interrupt, but Jimmy, are you OK over there?
• 43:05
  I am sick so I keep muting and shit.
• 43:07
  I'm keeping up to go bow nose and shit.
• 43:09
  Am I breathing hard? Is it picking up on that?
• 43:12
  A little bit, yeah. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm sick.
• 43:14
  So I'm trying to I just took some medicine because it's
• 43:18
  starting to flare up again but I've got some sort of bug so.
• 43:22
  Would you take Valtrex? Yeah, yeah, it's here's hoping
• 43:28
  it works. I took some Dayquil, so we'll
• 43:34
  see I'm. Glad it wasn't Val.
• 43:36
  You know what Valtrex is for, right?
• 43:38
  I have some, yeah. Oh dear.
• 43:42
  No, I don't actually have any, but yeah, I do know what it is.
• 43:46
  OK, I'm all out. I had to use it all up.
• 43:48
  If you know, you know. Now I just shove moldy bread in
• 43:51
  my ass. I just chased Dayquil with beer.
• 43:55
  That's a good idea. Well, Jimmy's going to time
• 43:59
  travel now. Whoops, I'm about to go 60 and a
• 44:05
  30 on my motorcycle out here in this freaking winter Wonderland
• 44:09
  here in Michigan. See, it wasn't quite twice the
• 44:13
  legal speed limit. Yeah, it's just almost.
• 44:18
  I did hear. I did hear everything you said.
• 44:20
  I did hear because I have headphones in.
• 44:21
  So I was part of the conversation even though I
• 44:24
  wasn't part of the conversation, if that makes sense.
• 44:28
  But yeah, so my favorite punishment to dole out, right,
• 44:31
  like taking dudes for runs or like taking a section for a run
• 44:35
  like that is a stereotypical Marine Corps response to you
• 44:39
  fucked up. All right, let's if you're going
• 44:42
  to be dumb, you're going to be tough.
• 44:43
  So let's go get tough because clearly you're fucking dumb as
• 44:46
  shit. So yeah, taking taking dudes out
• 44:50
  for green on green runs, boots and use runs or, you know,
• 44:54
  whatever going to the pull up bars.
• 44:57
  But my favorite thing hands down was I only had to do it once,
• 45:01
  which tells you that it's effective.
• 45:05
  One of the one of the days, you know, cut the guys at 1630 or
• 45:10
  whatever, and one of the one of the corporals, one of the NC OS
• 45:15
  walks in the office and they're like, Hey, do you need anything
• 45:18
  else from the guys? Or are we, are we good for the
• 45:21
  day? And I'm like, yeah, you know,
• 45:23
  just make sure the base clean, take trash out.
• 45:25
  You guys are good. Go away.
• 45:26
  I'm just doing paperwork in the office.
• 45:28
  So yeah, you guys are good. Don't start drinking right away.
• 45:32
  Just get out of here. So they leave and probably an
• 45:36
  hour later I finish up whatever I'm doing and I walk out and
• 45:43
  there's a full fucking trash can.
• 45:46
  And I went, OK, I explicitly said don't fucking do that.
• 45:55
  So I waited probably 30 minutes and then sent a text out to the
• 46:00
  whole platoon, said, hey, you guys all need to come back.
• 46:06
  And about 10 minutes later, they were standing in a box outside
• 46:11
  of the Bay doors. So I roll up the Bay doors and I
• 46:18
  go stand in front of the front of the platoon.
• 46:20
  And I'm like, all right, I'm not going to get up here and scream.
• 46:24
  I'm not going to yell, what did you guys fuck up?
• 46:30
  And right, nobody says anything. And I'm like, why the fuck is
• 46:35
  the trash can still full? And they all realized because
• 46:41
  they noticed that I had taken said trash can and dumped it out
• 46:45
  all over the Bay. So a couple of the guys go to
• 46:49
  start moving and I'm like Nope, Nope, get back in the fucking
• 46:52
  box NC OS Clearly you have forgotten the standard that I
• 46:59
  expect. So NC OS fall out and clean the
• 47:05
  God damn Bay. And then we sat there for the
• 47:10
  next 45 minutes while all of the Lance corporals in like the one
• 47:14
  third award Pfc stood in a box and watch the corporals fucking
• 47:19
  clean the Bay. And I didn't have that issue
• 47:26
  again before I left. Pays to be below pay grade.
• 47:32
  That's we're on the 1st and 15th baby.
• 47:36
  Oh shit. OK, so Luke, we've, we've
• 47:39
  covered bits and pieces of your, of your Marine Corps background.
• 47:44
  You are now, you are now a free elf, as I like to put it.
• 47:51
  What do you do now? That was a mistake.
• 47:54
  Whoever let me out should be fired anyway.
• 48:00
  What I do now I spent a couple years doing odd bits and bobs,
• 48:09
  paint, drywall, mechanic again holding the counter down at the
• 48:15
  local auto parts store. But when so I.
• 48:22
  I, you know, like any good Marine, I have some pretty
• 48:30
  wicked body aches, pains, problems.
• 48:35
  I realized that I had to figure out a career path that wasn't
• 48:40
  going to rely on me being able to pick things up and put them
• 48:45
  down my entire life. And I went to school.
• 48:50
  I used my GI Bill for Sonoran Desert Institute's associate
• 48:55
  degree in gunsmithing. That was, I would say it was
• 49:03
  worth the time and worth the money.
• 49:07
  This is by no means a plug to Sonoran Desert Institute.
• 49:10
  Please come sponsor us. I was going to say not a
• 49:14
  sponsor, not a sponsor. Not a sponsor, however, you
• 49:18
  know, I'll, I'll be honest. Was it a lot of writing papers?
• 49:23
  Yes. Did you do some cool stuff?
• 49:27
  Also yes. It is a healthy development of
• 49:33
  like a concrete base pad on which to pick a path of the
• 49:39
  skill tree and follow it. So could you learn everything
• 49:44
  that I learned from them on YouTube?
• 49:47
  Yes. Would you then have to go buy
• 49:50
  your own kits and do all the legwork yourself?
• 49:54
  Also yes. When we got into the refinishing
• 50:02
  portion of the curriculum, they talked about like traditional
• 50:06
  bluing, hot blue, cold blue, spray blue.
• 50:09
  They talked about like KG gun coat and they were talking about
• 50:13
  different spray on Bake Off coatings.
• 50:15
  And they said, yeah, there's this stuff called Seracote.
• 50:18
  And I did my usual error like what's that?
• 50:25
  And that led me down the road that I've been on the last like
• 50:29
  3 1/2 years of being like a general service gunsmith, being
• 50:36
  an FFL where you can buy, sell, transfer paperworks.
• 50:42
  But I chose to go down the refinishing branch of that skill
• 50:47
  tree of gunsmithing because I didn't have the money to sink
• 50:52
  into a lathe and a mill and $30,000 in bits and calipers and
• 50:59
  measuring equipments. And, you know, there's just so
• 51:03
  many other people that have already done it and are
• 51:05
  established and have contacts and contracts.
• 51:09
  I said, you know what, I'm going to get into what I get in where
• 51:12
  you fit in pretty much. So I looked around and the
• 51:16
  nearest Saracote shop to me is like 40 minutes away.
• 51:22
  And I said, OK, so I have the greater Taylor Slash downriver
• 51:27
  area pretty much is mine for the moment.
• 51:35
  From there I went and I bought, you know, after my first few
• 51:40
  projects out of a double stack kitchen oven went successfully,
• 51:45
  I said, OK, you know what? I'm confident I'm competent.
• 51:51
  I'm, I'm going to take the plunge.
• 51:54
  So I invested like $25,000 into a booth and oven, a rack, a
• 52:00
  toolbox, A sandblaster, a laser engraver, different tools.
• 52:05
  I'm on like my third spray gun. Those are like $300 apiece.
• 52:09
  The first one was a learning curve.
• 52:11
  The second one was brute strength.
• 52:13
  I fucking snapped the thing in half.
• 52:16
  So, you know, after you, after you spent $900 on spray guns,
• 52:20
  you learn pretty quick how to take care of them.
• 52:26
  Yeah. So that that's really where I'm
• 52:27
  at. I'd I do Seraco refinishing
• 52:30
  metal, plastic. We can do one color 2 tone
• 52:34
  stenciling, laser through magazines, PlayStation
• 52:39
  controllers, Yeti cups. I mean, hell, I've done car
• 52:44
  parts, tools, hard tools, impact rated sockets, metal and
• 52:50
  plastic. I mean, I'm your guy and I'm an
• 52:52
  FFL. So if you're one of our
• 52:55
  listeners in any of these great 50 states, you can get in touch
• 53:00
  with me and get my FFL and phone.
• 53:01
  You can ship me whatever it is you need done.
• 53:06
  So is it safe to say that if it exists, you can seracote it?
• 53:10
  Or what are the things that you cannot seracote?
• 53:13
  I have to be able to break it down to the smallest not moving
• 53:16
  component. I have a three foot by three
• 53:20
  foot by 6 foot limitation that's as big as my oven is.
• 53:25
  That's how big I need it to be. We have air cure options but I
• 53:30
  need it to fit in my garage for it to be protected while it
• 53:33
  coats and cures. It can't have integrated rubber.
• 53:39
  Rubber and ovens do not mix. I cannot coat rubber.
• 53:43
  It will crack and flake and come off and you won't be happy.
• 53:50
  Yeah, you know what? That's that's super fair and
• 53:55
  shameless plug, not because he's on the show or anything, but
• 53:58
  Jimmy and I have both had guns of ours worked on by Luke over
• 54:04
  at Rifle and Ratchet. And we will link his Facebook
• 54:09
  page and his website in the show notes.
• 54:12
  So if you guys are interested, you'll be able to find that down
• 54:14
  there. But yeah, I mean, I'm super
• 54:19
  stoked on the work that he's done.
• 54:21
  I mean, he's done. Was it the 300 win mag that I
• 54:24
  heard you do? So I've done 2 rifles of yours
• 54:27
  and I gave Jimmy his orange lightsaber as as we refer to it
• 54:33
  so hey. Jimmy.
• 54:34
  Comes to me with a 450 Bushmaster AR and he says, hey,
• 54:41
  I want this to be hunter orange. And I say, hey man, hey Mike, if
• 54:49
  you go down, yeah, it's right there.
• 54:51
  I say, hey man, Jimmy, we can 100% do that.
• 54:54
  I just need you to know you're going to have an orange
• 54:57
  lightsaber while you're walking through the woods.
• 54:59
  And he goes, yes. I mean, so he's, he's supposed
• 55:05
  to have orange anyway, but oh, look at that cup right there.
• 55:11
  Oh, look at that fucking thing. Aggressively orange.
• 55:17
  I fucking love it. And that was like one of my
• 55:20
  first projects that I did for a customer.
• 55:26
  Hey, there's my, there's my no. That isn't.
• 55:29
  No, that isn't. That isn't.
• 55:30
  That's my brother in law's in it.
• 55:31
  Yes, it is. Yeah.
• 55:33
  He did a really nice work on that.
• 55:35
  He was super stoked to get that back so.
• 55:41
  Go, go. There it is up.
• 55:44
  Yeah, so that is my 300 win mag. That is M81 Ridge Reaper, I told
• 55:52
  Mike. Hey, don't set it down.
• 55:55
  Yeah, not yet. Don't.
• 55:57
  Don't set it down anywhere. So yeah, overall super stoked on
• 56:05
  actually go to that cup below the one go down, go to the
• 56:08
  right. So I had Luke do a bunch of
• 56:13
  coffee mug like tumblers for the group of guys that I hunt with
• 56:18
  and basically told him, hey, whatever camo pattern, as long
• 56:21
  as it's woodland esque, I don't give a fuck dude, just just
• 56:25
  fucking send it. And this was right after he got
• 56:27
  in this laser engraver and yeah, like, fucking phenomenal.
• 56:34
  Pull up that. All right.
• 56:36
  Yeah, I want to talk about that. For a second, fucking nerd.
• 56:39
  Damn right. OK so ever since I can remember
• 56:45
  my family has been a Star Wars family.
• 56:47
  Like legit when I was 5 or 6 years old, back in the day when
• 56:54
  families had a computer room, The computer has its own room.
• 56:58
  That's the computer's room. OK, give it.
• 57:01
  Give it. No, no, no.
• 57:02
  No, no, no, no. OK, hold on.
• 57:05
  Look, our floors were sticky too, but it wasn't us quite yet.
• 57:11
  It might not have been you quite yet.
• 57:13
  Look bro. So anyway, I remember back in
• 57:16
  the day when like all you had was solitaire, mahjong,
• 57:22
  minesweeper and whatever bullshit you could find like Age
• 57:27
  of Empires. Hell yeah.
• 57:29
  Every single time I had to put a name in, I would say I was a
• 57:33
  clone, clone trooper, but I spelled it CLON because, you
• 57:37
  know, I'm fucking 5. All right, it's a clon trooper.
• 57:40
  I'm. A clon pull up, Yeah.
• 57:46
  Oh is that those are your Raptor mags?
• 57:48
  Yep, those are my Raptor mags. Dude, those are fucking sick.
• 57:53
  That was cool. So.
• 57:57
  Can we just talk about how fucking on point my clicking has
• 58:00
  been by the way? It is.
• 58:02
  Yeah, bravo. You're now the the head head,
• 58:07
  head clicker. You are senior clicker.
• 58:11
  Senior clicker. All right, so my and Mike's
• 58:18
  middle brother, older than me, younger than him, Jake said.
• 58:23
  Hey man here's my Wasser 10 go crazy.
• 58:29
  I said you got it bro and I did that boy up Captain Rex 5 O 1st
• 58:35
  legion style and he said what do I owe you?
• 58:40
  I said you could either take it as a Christmas present or you.
• 58:44
  Could pay me for my buener. You're right, I forgot that is
• 58:51
  how it went down. So does Milwaukee actually sell
• 58:59
  that? No.
• 59:02
  And and if if you look closely, it's not actually a Milwaukee,
• 59:06
  it's a Milwaukee. OK this.
• 59:09
  Is no trademark infringed? This is really cool.
• 59:12
  Yes, so I am playing around with the laser and different colors.
• 59:16
  I'm making like different nuka cola mags from fallout.
• 59:20
  I don't know if my picture of the bloatfly.
• 59:23
  Is there a steel magazine picture in there?
• 59:26
  Yeah, right there. So that's a bloatfly from like
• 59:29
  the Fallout series. Hell yeah.
• 59:32
  I so I am maybe a little bit more generous than I should be
• 59:40
  as a guy who's trying to make money.
• 59:43
  But typically if, if you're spending money with me, I like
• 59:47
  to make sure that we're both happy about cost benefit to both
• 59:53
  of us. So if you bring me things all in
• 59:58
  the same batch, I'm I'm much more willing to, to, to, to cut
• 1:00:02
  a deal. Yeah, you got that pack from
• 1:00:06
  Sam's Club. Costco, Yeah.
• 1:00:08
  Costco. I mean, it's basically the same
• 1:00:10
  thing. So like I had a guy that I met
• 1:00:14
  at a gun show, he wanted me to put the word boom stick on the
• 1:00:19
  side of his 12 gauge. Hell yeah.
• 1:00:22
  And he said, hey, man, you know what?
• 1:00:24
  I also want you to put something like Fallout Ish on my magazine.
• 1:00:28
  Can I bring that too? And he didn't expect that I was
• 1:00:32
  just gonna boot up the laser and knock it out right there.
• 1:00:35
  So, you know, he came in the shop.
• 1:00:38
  We, we ran through the fonts. We kind of looked at what he
• 1:00:41
  wanted, worked out the spacing, and then he said, you know, I
• 1:00:45
  got that mag too, You know, I don't know.
• 1:00:47
  I don't want to take up your whole night.
• 1:00:49
  And I said, don't you worry about it.
• 1:00:50
  I've actually got a couple things already pulled up.
• 1:00:53
  Tell me what you think. Option one.
• 1:00:55
  Option two. Option 3 #3 My Lord #3.
• 1:01:00
  Pick #3, my Lord. So I said, OK, you got it.
• 1:01:04
  He's like, oh, we're doing this right now.
• 1:01:06
  And I said, click, all right, Bada, boom, all done, bro.
• 1:01:12
  He said, what do I owe you? I said, well, you know what?
• 1:01:15
  I said 50 bucks for the shotgun. All I did was hit a button for
• 1:01:21
  the magazine. Let's just call it 50 bucks and
• 1:01:24
  I'll, I'll throw that in for a Gimme.
• 1:01:26
  You know, you're here, it's here.
• 1:01:27
  The laser's already on. You've you've paid me to turn my
• 1:01:31
  laser on, so I'm happy. Hell yeah.
• 1:01:41
  I've gotten so much like attention for that rifle, by the
• 1:01:45
  way, online and stuff. I got a, what is it?
• 1:01:49
  The Michigan outdoor outdoor report shared a picture of me
• 1:01:54
  and my buck with the, with the, with the orange rifle and it got
• 1:01:58
  some feedback on there too. People have that Hunter's orange
• 1:02:02
  man on that gun. It's always been like my go to,
• 1:02:06
  like if I have a sniper rifle and like Battlefield or Call of
• 1:02:11
  Duty or whatever, especially Warzone, dude, I always have a
• 1:02:14
  sniper rifle that's Hunter's orange.
• 1:02:16
  So that's why I wanted it on my my 450 dude.
• 1:02:19
  I just love the way orange looks on a rifle.
• 1:02:22
  It's like having the veinous cock at an orgy, you know, you
• 1:02:25
  RIP it out and everything that kind of stops and takes a look
• 1:02:28
  for a second. I've actually been wanting to
• 1:02:31
  talk to you. I have an idea for the next one
• 1:02:35
  I want. I want you to make the heat
• 1:02:38
  shield. Just a big fucking veiny fucking
• 1:02:41
  shaft dude. Friggin call it the heart rod.
• 1:02:53
  Do that thing. Fucking load dumps bro.
• 1:03:02
  Oh my God. I blast loads at 13180 feet per
• 1:03:10
  second. Bro get on my level.
• 1:03:14
  Oh man. No, I'm not going to let the
• 1:03:17
  autism win on this one. We're going to talk about
• 1:03:20
  something else anyways. God, fuck it.
• 1:03:25
  No, no, Jimmy, Luke, you shut your fucking mouth.
• 1:03:30
  I don't say you're not in on the joke yet.
• 1:03:31
  You shut up. I have listened to both
• 1:03:34
  episodes. I'm on the ground floor.
• 1:03:36
  OK, Yeah, but you missed the first five that were on air.
• 1:03:41
  Everybody looks a. Good comeback story.
• 1:03:44
  She's going to get it. No, I, I, I, I think, I think
• 1:03:48
  she got some on her back. So I want to take a minute to 1
• 1:03:59
  again, say rifle and Ratchet refinishing on Facebook, but
• 1:04:04
  also I think it's what Rifle and ratchet.com, Yeah.
• 1:04:07
  What's your website? rifleandratchet.com.
• 1:04:10
  So if you're in the greater Detroit area, Taylor, Westland,
• 1:04:15
  Dearborn Heights, Dearborn, and you want to get some work done
• 1:04:19
  either on firearms or tools or automotive or really the Sky's
• 1:04:25
  the limit with what can go in the oven.
• 1:04:27
  So yeah, hit, hit Luke up either on Facebook or there's a there's
• 1:04:35
  an option to send him an inquiry on the website.
• 1:04:38
  I would know. I fucking put that shit
• 1:04:39
  together. Yep, be sure.
• 1:04:41
  And then I sent him a test from Phil McCracken which is my go to
• 1:04:46
  alias. I thought it was a real lead, so
• 1:04:49
  I'm like, hello, how can I? Help you.
• 1:04:57
  You get that message and I say, yeah, the dude hasn't gotten
• 1:05:00
  back with me. I don't.
• 1:05:01
  I don't get it. I don't know if I came on too
• 1:05:05
  strong. Nobody.
• 1:05:06
  You didn't come strong enough. Oh.
• 1:05:10
  My God. But I do want to take a minute
• 1:05:12
  to send a special shout out one to our our new title sponsor for
• 1:05:18
  this fucking colossal shit show that is the Three Damn Dudes
• 1:05:23
  brought to you by Rifle and Ratchet Refinishing.
• 1:05:27
  But I also want to throw a shout out to our six followers on
• 1:05:31
  Spotify. We do not collectively have
• 1:05:36
  words for how much we appreciate that because this is just us
• 1:05:40
  really fucking around hanging out so you guys know who you
• 1:05:45
  are. And it turns out that we fucking
• 1:05:47
  don't because Spotify doesn't tell us.
• 1:05:51
  So you guys know who you are and just know that we, we fucking
• 1:05:55
  appreciate you guys. So keep that shit up, keep
• 1:05:58
  listening, keep following, stay, stay up on the Facebook page.
• 1:06:06
  I'm sure we'll end up posting shorts and reels from the
• 1:06:09
  episodes before the episode actually drops.
• 1:06:13
  Bad beans, buddy. Yeah.
• 1:06:16
  Thanks for joining us again. Ask that.
• 1:06:18
  Fucking bitch. Maddie's home and he doesn't
• 1:06:21
  want to be part of the podcast anymore.
• 1:06:24
  What a piece of shit. I don't know what the fuck.
• 1:06:27
  I see how I see how it goes. Beans.
• 1:06:30
  Mom's home and we just, we're chopped liver.
• 1:06:33
  You'd probably like chopped liver and we're fucking dog shit
• 1:06:36
  to you. Is that what it is?
• 1:06:37
  Get jostled, idiot. Yeah, you fucking nerd, you
• 1:06:42
  fucking Bengal ass bitch. Yeah, you bangle bitch.
• 1:06:47
  And there you go, it's my boy. But yeah, two or six followers
• 1:06:53
  on Spotify. We appreciate you guys.
• 1:06:57
  And Jimmy, you already kind of touched on it, but do we have a
• 1:07:01
  live Facebook page now? We finally have one.
• 1:07:05
  But I mean, apparently we had one the whole goddamn time.
• 1:07:08
  But. You.
• 1:07:09
  Fucking deleted it. It's basically the fleet again.
• 1:07:14
  Hey, what, what do you, what do you guys think about the when we
• 1:07:18
  hit 25 followers, maybe I'll maybe I'll do some kind of like
• 1:07:23
  magazine giveaway. As the title sponsor all.
• 1:07:28
  Right. Well, we're already we're.
• 1:07:31
  Hold on. Just so you know, we're already
• 1:07:33
  at, we're already at 14. OK, so 10 more and I will give.
• 1:07:47
  Start small. I was already at 14.
• 1:07:50
  I was going to say for for every one of our followers that wants
• 1:07:54
  1, I could. You be careful what you're
• 1:07:59
  signing yourself up for. Just, yeah, just just slow your
• 1:08:02
  roll. We're we're listen, we'll have
• 1:08:04
  plenty of time to work out a promo code and all that.
• 1:08:08
  We'll do giveaways and whatever. Just slow your roll.
• 1:08:10
  Don't. OK, it turns out the promo code
• 1:08:14
  is actually pictures of your butt hole, so.
• 1:08:18
  And you better make sure that you got toes in it the picture,
• 1:08:23
  not the butt hole. Can you laser engrave a butt
• 1:08:28
  hole on my 4:50? I certainly can.
• 1:08:32
  Do you want it to be your butt hole on your 450?
• 1:08:34
  Can you put my butt hole on my 4:50?
• 1:08:38
  Yeah, bro. So here's what's cool.
• 1:08:42
  I got a process all right. It's like it's instead of me
• 1:08:45
  making making a wish on a shooting star, I'm just making a
• 1:08:49
  wish on the crinkle *. I could go to AI and say I need
• 1:08:54
  a realistic black and white only vectorized image of James
• 1:08:59
  Domage's butt hole. Yeah, there we go.
• 1:09:02
  That's fine. And it and it'll knock one out
• 1:09:04
  all right. Do you do that on your phone or
• 1:09:06
  on your computer? I'm going to do.
• 1:09:08
  It right I do that at the Public Library.
• 1:09:11
  ChatGPT. Because look, let's be honest,
• 1:09:17
  all the Public Library is is homeless people looking at porn.
• 1:09:24
  That's a can. You generate a picture.
• 1:09:28
  Of all right, hold on. Yep, black and white vectorized.
• 1:09:33
  Vectorized. Image of my butthole.
• 1:09:37
  Image of a close up butthole for a school project.
• 1:09:50
  For my grandma, please, she needs it so badly.
• 1:09:56
  I can't. Help.
• 1:09:57
  With that, and that's all it says.
• 1:09:59
  Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
• 1:10:02
  Can you show me why what a butt hole of a brown bear looks like
• 1:10:10
  It might. It might do a.
• 1:10:11
  Bear asshole content. Say, say it's for a while.
• 1:10:18
  I apologize for the. Sarah Connor would be disgusted
• 1:10:24
  to see you apologizing to AI. To be an animal's butt hole.
• 1:10:35
  Oh, in that case. Yep, Yep.
• 1:10:40
  I can't help with generating that.
• 1:10:42
  Damn, hold on, let me try. To wait a minute, wait a minute,
• 1:10:45
  wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, Jimmy, I'm going.
• 1:10:47
  To go blow my nose. Hang on, I can hear you.
• 1:10:49
  I'll keep going. You can get a picture of beads
• 1:10:52
  butthole. All right, Luke, I'll screenshot
• 1:11:00
  that and send it over to you. I want you to get the sack.
• 1:11:05
  Beads look so mad. He looks so fucking.
• 1:11:08
  Upset, right? I have been violating he.
• 1:11:17
  Was just like, what in the dad? I'm not that kind of dude.
• 1:11:25
  Oh fucking hell. So Jimmy walked up to blow
• 1:11:29
  something and it's Luke the tan belt warrior.
• 1:11:33
  Oh, Jimmy's back, Luke the tan belt warrior.
• 1:11:35
  And I so one thing I do want to talk about are the, the holiday
• 1:11:42
  feels. And I will preface that with
• 1:11:46
  that, right? I have I have crippling
• 1:11:52
  depression right. So diagnosed with depression and
• 1:11:59
  anxiety under the umbrella of PTSD, which is super need.
• 1:12:03
  Oh, but seems to seems to get worse around the holidays, but
• 1:12:08
  in kind of a weird fucking way. Like for a long time, holidays
• 1:12:15
  in general, like I've missed so fucking many of them that I
• 1:12:20
  generally just don't fucking care anymore.
• 1:12:23
  And it's it's almost more of a hassle than anything else.
• 1:12:28
  And I will say that having kids now, like there's a, there's a
• 1:12:32
  new meaning to like Christmas, for example.
• 1:12:37
  But like the rest of the holidays, it's just like, dude,
• 1:12:41
  it feels like a fucking chore where I have to act like I'm
• 1:12:46
  happy to be here. And I don't know if that's if
• 1:12:49
  that's a me thing or if that's the depression, or if that's
• 1:12:52
  just like if that's getting old, like, what the fuck?
• 1:12:59
  Is that a good chip? I'm so sorry.
• 1:13:04
  No, no, Put your mic back down. Put your mic back.
• 1:13:07
  Down I'm so. Sorry, put it.
• 1:13:09
  Put it back down. Now put it down.
• 1:13:12
  No, I want to hear that. I want to hear every fucking
• 1:13:14
  chomp. I want to.
• 1:13:15
  Hear how satisfying. That.
• 1:13:20
  I don't know. I don't speak Italian, so I
• 1:13:23
  speak good chip. I speak best Italian and
• 1:13:26
  Martinez over here, he speaks second best boss.
• 1:13:28
  I don't speak Italian. See, like I said, second best.
• 1:13:32
  Yeah, so shut the hell up. You'd be all right.
• 1:13:35
  Was that was that a good chip it?
• 1:13:36
  Was a good chip. Thank you very much.
• 1:13:38
  Really good chip. What did you guys have for
• 1:13:39
  dinner that looked like a chip from a Mexican restaurant?
• 1:13:42
  Nope, we we had poor people nachos.
• 1:13:48
  Is it? Fuck, is that just sloppy Joe
• 1:13:50
  mix on a fucking Lay's potato chip?
• 1:13:54
  Nope, even cheaper than that. It was a dollar and a half bag
• 1:14:00
  of hint of lime tortilla chips, pound of ground beef, some
• 1:14:07
  chopped up the feet, cherry onions and some tomatoes and
• 1:14:14
  some cheese and there you go. There's probably All in all like
• 1:14:17
  10 bucks. Buddy, I don't want to smell
• 1:14:20
  your farts for the next 48 hours.
• 1:14:22
  That coupled with the crisp, refreshing taste of Citrus
• 1:14:27
  Slayer. Not a sponsor.
• 1:14:30
  I have had three of those today. I'm on my third glass of
• 1:14:36
  whiskey. I'm strong.
• 1:14:38
  It's been a beer because I'm not.
• 1:14:40
  Well, you're also sick, so you have a bullshit excuse.
• 1:14:45
  It is still. Bullshit though.
• 1:14:48
  In episode 2 there was a part that you can go deeper than
• 1:14:52
  that. No, you got to cup the balls,
• 1:14:56
  not slap them. What the fuck's wrong with you?
• 1:15:01
  So Jimmy, in the last episode you posed a question that ended
• 1:15:05
  up getting edited out because I was a total fucking douche.
• 1:15:08
  Can hear about it? You asked what my background
• 1:15:12
  was. Well, hang on, hang on.
• 1:15:15
  We cuz we we were in the middle of talking about something deep
• 1:15:21
  and then Luke ate a chip and I don't think we touched on.
• 1:15:24
  Oh fuck, you're right. Holiday feels so yeah.
• 1:15:27
  Does everybody else get fucking spicy sad during the holidays or
• 1:15:31
  is that just my parting gift from the fucking Marine Corps?
• 1:15:33
  So is it specifically the holidays around this time of
• 1:15:37
  year? I don't know if it's like the
• 1:15:41
  lead up of seeing all of the the leaves and the trees dying and I
• 1:15:45
  get jealous or if it's like I that's a joke by the way, or if
• 1:15:52
  it's like just seasonal. The depression gets spicier,
• 1:15:57
  like it does for most people. Seasonal depression is a real
• 1:16:01
  thing because obviously you're getting a lack of vitamin D.
• 1:16:05
  Your vitamin D in my life. Yeah, I'll, I'll be over later
• 1:16:10
  to get you some. Little problem in my life.
• 1:16:13
  So you got, you got less sunlight coming in, so you get
• 1:16:16
  less vitamin D and that's what helps combat depression, the big
• 1:16:19
  SAD. And so you have that and I don't
• 1:16:25
  know, man, it's just like, it's hard because like when I was a
• 1:16:29
  kid, which I'm not, I mean, I'm older than you guys, but I'm not
• 1:16:34
  in that. Much older than you guys.
• 1:16:40
  Fits in perfect with his autism. Yeah.
• 1:16:45
  And fuck, so when I was a kid, how?
• 1:16:49
  Or Christmas was like super freaking hyped up man.
• 1:16:53
  Like you come down and like YouTube wasn't a thing yet.
• 1:16:59
  Netflix wasn't a thing yet. He had fucking television and
• 1:17:02
  that was it, right. And so like this time of year,
• 1:17:06
  it was all Christmas commercials.
• 1:17:08
  It was Christmas movies, Christmas TV shows you, but
• 1:17:11
  you've seen all this Christmas shit, you know, ads for toys or
• 1:17:15
  playing and on the commercials and everything like that, you
• 1:17:17
  got Christmas music that you haven't heard a million and
• 1:17:22
  500,000 times already. You know, not long like now
• 1:17:25
  because like it seems like, seems like it's hard to like
• 1:17:29
  come up with some new freaking Christmas music, man.
• 1:17:32
  But like back in those days, like everything was kind of, I
• 1:17:38
  don't know, there's like a feel to it that just isn't the same
• 1:17:41
  anymore. Christmas is like not the same
• 1:17:43
  as it used to be. So I think that's part of it
• 1:17:46
  too, is like, you got all that nostalgia that you miss, and I
• 1:17:49
  think that ties into it as well. Jimmy, I think the problem is
• 1:17:54
  that you don't believe in Santa anymore.
• 1:17:56
  I think so too. So if you just believed in Santa
• 1:18:02
  again, I think Christmas would be magical for you.
• 1:18:04
  I'm going to buy you an Elf on the Shelf for next year.
• 1:18:08
  Do you like my Santa hat? Buddy, your buck is festive as
• 1:18:13
  fuck. Yeah, he's he's he's a jolly
• 1:18:17
  good fellow when it comes to Christmas time.
• 1:18:20
  So you brought up toy commercials, which actually
• 1:18:25
  dusted off a core memory. Do you guys remember those old
• 1:18:28
  Barbie commercials where they're like, it's a great time to be a
• 1:18:33
  girl Barbie? No.
• 1:18:36
  No. No.
• 1:18:38
  What I think? That I'm not.
• 1:18:40
  The that's just you clear Mesabi.
• 1:18:45
  I just picture young, young Mike standing in front of the
• 1:18:49
  television, balls tucked in but watching the Barbie commercial.
• 1:18:55
  The second you said standing in front of the TV I'm like what
• 1:18:58
  kind of fucking psychopath just stands in front of the TVA
• 1:19:03
  toddler on crack that's. Good joke's on you, I'm still a
• 1:19:08
  toddler on fucking crack and Jimmy my balls were not tucked
• 1:19:13
  because they hadn't dropped yet, OK?
• 1:19:16
  That's great. So you guys have kids?
• 1:19:19
  No, no. Hold on you, you fuck off for a
• 1:19:21
  second. I'm still telling a story I
• 1:19:24
  remember hearing. I remember hearing that
• 1:19:28
  commercial and I look at my mom, my fucking Angel of a mother.
• 1:19:34
  My mother is a St. She is a goddamn St. and if you
• 1:19:38
  say otherwise I'll fuck you. But that commercial I just
• 1:19:43
  played and I look at my mom, my sweet, sweet mother, and I go,
• 1:19:49
  but I'm a boy. And she goes in her head.
• 1:19:56
  The thought process must have been fucking what?
• 1:20:03
  Because their whole, like their whole campaign at the time was
• 1:20:06
  it's a great time to be a girl. And I'm like, but I'm not a
• 1:20:09
  fucking girl, I'm a boy. So what?
• 1:20:13
  What the fuck? What do I do?
• 1:20:19
  And she's like, honey, it's OK, there's GI Joes.
• 1:20:28
  And I'm like, oh fuck, you're right.
• 1:20:30
  Thank God for GI Joes. You're like, shit, I'm locked
• 1:20:34
  into Barbies, no. I can't play with Barbies.
• 1:20:38
  I have a Dick. I'm Barbies top guy.
• 1:20:42
  Barbies counting on me. God damn it, Mattel, but yeah,
• 1:20:48
  where? The fuck is this conversation
• 1:20:52
  going? That's the end of it.
• 1:20:55
  That's this is the biggest candidate so far for getting
• 1:20:57
  edited out. So you guys?
• 1:20:59
  I had a. You guys have kids, right?
• 1:21:02
  Both of you have children's? Yeah.
• 1:21:08
  You come home from a night out with with the significant other
• 1:21:13
  and. Should we leave the kids at
• 1:21:15
  home? Yes, you left them with a
• 1:21:17
  sitter. You left them with the nursery
• 1:21:20
  dog named Nana. So beads is like go to sleep.
• 1:21:31
  All right. So you come home and your
• 1:21:34
  children are a sleeping and the nanny is done her job.
• 1:21:40
  They are B screaming and crying or they are C jittered up
• 1:21:48
  because they were fed chocolate milk and cocoa puffs and holding
• 1:21:51
  heavy shit by the door waiting for you to get home.
• 1:21:56
  Obviously option C is when you left the kids home with dad and
• 1:22:01
  mom went out for a solo girls night because that's how that
• 1:22:04
  often ended up. You get home and your kid has
• 1:22:09
  found the bowling ball and they're just like, guys, check
• 1:22:12
  this out. Guys look what I found it heavy
• 1:22:19
  and I don't want to hold it anymore.
• 1:22:23
  Hey, who's wearing steel toe boots?
• 1:22:25
  Boom. Oh fucking shit.
• 1:22:34
  But yeah, any any other weigh insurance on the the seasonal
• 1:22:38
  depression holiday feels. Not quite seasonal, just kind of
• 1:22:49
  depression in general. Yeah, it it can definitely get
• 1:22:55
  exacerbated by the holidays. I I.
• 1:22:58
  Agree with the holidays. Don't you worry, you'll find out
• 1:23:01
  when it comes out in the papers all right?
• 1:23:02
  It's still it's still in trial anyway it can.
• 1:23:09
  It can be eggs masturbated by the holidays.
• 1:23:14
  Now it's it's getting tougher and tougher every year because
• 1:23:25
  the, the illusion of the bright twinkly lights and the Christmas
• 1:23:32
  presents and the family and cousins and all, of all of the,
• 1:23:39
  everything that went into making your holidays kind of like
• 1:23:45
  filled with the sense of wonder when you were young, becoming
• 1:23:49
  jaded, becoming cynical. And once it all begins to drift
• 1:23:59
  away, like, like smoke and mirrors, you have to go make it.
• 1:24:06
  You have to go make it. It's your turn.
• 1:24:08
  You are the adult now. You, you don't, you don't get to
• 1:24:12
  show up to Nana and Grandma's and Uncle Jim Joe's or Uncle
• 1:24:18
  Uncle Jimmy and beads for their Christmas extravaganza.
• 1:24:22
  Dead there. They might be dead.
• 1:24:24
  They might not be divorced. They might be going through some
• 1:24:28
  medical shit, you know, maybe their fucking house burned down,
• 1:24:33
  you know, you know, just just some like actual examples of
• 1:24:37
  what has happened in in my life, at least now back-to-back to
• 1:24:45
  just, you know, yeah. I mean, being being not OK is
• 1:24:54
  the reality a lot of times. And just saying, Yep, I'm OK.
• 1:24:59
  And accepting that you are just barely below the red line, that
• 1:25:04
  will blow your engine up. You know that that is that is
• 1:25:11
  acceptable operationally wise because your engine is still
• 1:25:15
  running. But if you fucking goose it,
• 1:25:17
  you're you're gonna sling a rod or God forbid you blow a tranny.
• 1:25:23
  Yeah, definitely not recommended to blow tranny.
• 1:25:26
  That's when life gets tough. You blow a tranny all right?
• 1:25:32
  And that's Luke from rifle on rifle.
• 1:25:36
  Oh my God. Y'all ready for my wise words of
• 1:25:39
  Christmas anyway? Hey look, my therapist told me
• 1:25:48
  it's OK to be angry and sad and depressed, but you have to work
• 1:25:54
  through those thoughts. I think most of the people that
• 1:26:02
  are going to find this podcast have got dead friends or have
• 1:26:08
  got people that they have lost due to suicide.
• 1:26:18
  It's OK to be angry. It's it's right to be angry.
• 1:26:22
  But you, you can't, you can't let that win.
• 1:26:28
  I I am. You know what, Mike?
• 1:26:32
  When was the last time I went longer than two days without
• 1:26:36
  calling you? I can't count that high.
• 1:26:41
  Right. Like it?
• 1:26:42
  It hasn't. Happened that.
• 1:26:44
  That's the sorry the whiskey words.
• 1:26:48
  I can't count that. Yeah, anyway, and Jimmy, how
• 1:26:52
  often do I just call you up? Every time you're driving it
• 1:26:57
  seems. When, when I'm on the phone,
• 1:27:00
  I'm, I'm calling my people like if I'm at home, if I'm driving,
• 1:27:06
  if I'm like in between doing whatever where I won't be making
• 1:27:11
  a bunch of noise, I'm calling my people.
• 1:27:15
  And even if I don't get through to them, I, I had a Lieutenant
• 1:27:21
  when I was on deployment. Like I love this guy.
• 1:27:25
  Like legit my favorite guy that I met in my time in the Marine
• 1:27:28
  quarter. And I don't know if he's alive
• 1:27:33
  or dead at this point. I mean, his phone is still on.
• 1:27:36
  So I just keep leaving the voicemails because one day he's
• 1:27:39
  going to pick up that phone and he's going to see 97 fucking
• 1:27:45
  missed calls and voicemails from Luke Smith Elliott, and he's
• 1:27:49
  going to go, this guy fucking loves me, you know?
• 1:27:56
  So every time I call and no one picks up, I know they're going
• 1:28:00
  to see they missed a call. I know they're going to see they
• 1:28:03
  have a voicemail and whether they listen to it or not, I'm
• 1:28:07
  going to call again. Yeah, that's that's actually how
• 1:28:12
  I've started treating videos on Facebook like that is a pseudo
• 1:28:16
  like touch point with all the boys.
• 1:28:18
  If I see something that's funny or just fucking ridiculous and I
• 1:28:21
  send it to you, I don't care if you fucking read it.
• 1:28:25
  I don't care if you laugh at it. I don't care if you fucking
• 1:28:28
  respond. The fact that you got a fucking
• 1:28:30
  notification on your phone that I sent your bitch ass a video
• 1:28:35
  like that reminder that people fucking give a shit about you.
• 1:28:38
  That's that's fucking good enough.
• 1:28:43
  But Luke, you, you're your last little bit of of mouth words and
• 1:28:52
  brought me brought me two points that I needed to make the tail
• 1:28:58
  under the podcast. I feel like the last what, 10
• 1:29:00
  minutes, the real, the real take away has been that it's it's
• 1:29:07
  fucking OK and it's normal to not be OK and that's OK.
• 1:29:15
  And like we said in episode 1, when it stops being OK is when
• 1:29:18
  you stay in that not OK state of mind, right?
• 1:29:22
  It's OK to get in your feels. It's OK to not be OK for a
• 1:29:25
  little bit, but it's not OK to fucking stay there.
• 1:29:31
  I already forgot fucking #2 and #3 hopefully #2 comes back is
• 1:29:37
  shout out to Joe because I know he's going to listen to this.
• 1:29:42
  And Jimmy, I actually had a question for you.
• 1:29:44
  That fucking that quoted text you fucking sent me the other
• 1:29:48
  day from one of our listeners, was that from Joe?
• 1:29:54
  Yeah. Joe, I love you buddy and I.
• 1:30:00
  I do really look forward to meeting you and sharing a beer
• 1:30:04
  glass. A decent fucking not top shelf,
• 1:30:07
  not bottom shelf, but like lower middle shelf whiskey with you
• 1:30:12
  someday. Just pour 2.
• 1:30:15
  Cups of gasoline little buff. Go go buff.
• 1:30:19
  I don't need hairy palms and no vision.
• 1:30:21
  All right, I masturbate enough. Jesus.
• 1:30:26
  Those are Ricky numbers. You got to get those numbers up.
• 1:30:30
  But the last, the last thing I wanted to touch on was hunting
• 1:30:35
  during the holidays. So Jimmy, you have a kid.
• 1:30:41
  I has kids and Luke, you have a fucking menagerie of critters at
• 1:30:48
  your house. I run a zoo, yes.
• 1:30:50
  Yeah, a small local zoo that is not listed on Google or Yelp so
• 1:30:56
  don't leave it a review. How do you guys juggle getting
• 1:31:01
  in the woods like end of rifle season back into archery season
• 1:31:09
  and spending time with family at like fucking pseudo mandatory
• 1:31:16
  events? I I have been in the woods
• 1:31:21
  exactly one time this year. I got up at 3:00 AM and I just
• 1:31:27
  googled the spot, went out, sat, saw nothing, went home.
• 1:31:34
  So you know I. Think in this.
• 1:31:37
  I think in the springtime we'll do an episode about scouting,
• 1:31:41
  which I think is the thing that you critically overhead leaders.
• 1:31:44
  Recon is a thing. Luke and Map Recon.
• 1:31:47
  That that. Also leaders Recon.
• 1:31:49
  Right, that was the Recon. You Recon on game day, that's a
• 1:31:54
  bold strategy gotten. It did not pay off, not.
• 1:31:57
  Pay off but hey, now I know where to park and where to walk
• 1:32:02
  out to. In the spring so you can find
• 1:32:07
  deer sign and figure out where they're betting at and what
• 1:32:09
  their travel corridors are. And knowing is half the battle.
• 1:32:15
  Knowledge is power. And then the other.
• 1:32:17
  Half How do you The other half is 450 Bushmaster.
• 1:32:23
  And they're half is dream violence.
• 1:32:26
  Is that in a is a 450 Bushmaster and a high vis coded fucking AR
• 1:32:32
  platform? The other half is Spotlight.
• 1:32:37
  Happiness, illegal happiness is a high vis 450 Bushmaster.
• 1:32:44
  According to Jimmy, happiness is a fucking million lumen
• 1:32:48
  spotlight at fucking 959 / a God damn baby pile.
• 1:32:55
  So Jimmy, tell us how you got your deer again.
• 1:32:58
  He said I used a drone. I hit him with the spotlight he
• 1:33:06
  built. Dumb dumb fuck was eating at the
• 1:33:08
  bait pile and I was bam. I said I don't condone.
• 1:33:13
  No, dear diabetes, you got to go.
• 1:33:15
  You too fat? This bait pile is for squirrels
• 1:33:19
  and squirrels only. Yeah, baiting is illegal in
• 1:33:22
  Michigan. Just so.
• 1:33:24
  Just so. Yes, it is.
• 1:33:26
  Baiting on private property is not illegal in Maryland, so I
• 1:33:31
  definitely have a pile of corn sitting in front of one of my
• 1:33:35
  trail cams and I have used. So this is the first full year
• 1:33:39
  of Four Seasons that I've spent in this house.
• 1:33:43
  I set a trail Cam out just to see what the fuck I've got on
• 1:33:47
  the property and try to make a game plan for for next year.
• 1:33:50
  See if there's any deer that are candidates for getting pulled or
• 1:33:54
  you know, I, I need to let this guy grow because I want to see
• 1:33:57
  what he becomes. Or this guy needs to knock up a
• 1:33:59
  couple more doughs and he's going to have some some solid
• 1:34:03
  offspring. And that's the genetics that I
• 1:34:05
  want to retain on the property. But yeah, this year has been
• 1:34:10
  largely an inventory year. So the bait pile in front of the
• 1:34:13
  trail Cam has showed me a lot of deer, which we actually named.
• 1:34:20
  So I've got an 8 point. His name is Gioffrey, spelled
• 1:34:24
  exactly how I just pronounced it.
• 1:34:26
  And then we'll split time. Named Kenny and then a forky boy
• 1:34:31
  named Larry and Jimmy. I realized I've got another,
• 1:34:34
  probably 6 that is super tall that we haven't given a name to.
• 1:34:40
  That's why I have a picture. Richard.
• 1:34:42
  OK. Do you?
• 1:34:46
  Do you fellas know how you get Dick from Richard?
• 1:34:54
  You asked nicely. Rifle and Ratchet, everybody,
• 1:35:03
  the. The title sponsor, The three
• 1:35:07
  damn dudes podcast, Rifle and Ratchet Refinishing all.
• 1:35:12
  Right. So to answer your question to
• 1:35:16
  with how how I get out, this year unfortunately is going to
• 1:35:22
  be a little bit harder. But usually I, I haven't lined
• 1:35:28
  up with sitters and everything like I have.
• 1:35:30
  I have people watch my son. Unfortunately this year Maddie
• 1:35:37
  goes to school on Saturdays so then I help watch her son.
• 1:35:44
  So on weekends it's a little tougher.
• 1:35:48
  If we can find a sitter for her son, then I can go, but it's
• 1:35:53
  been hard to find us in the past couple weeks.
• 1:35:55
  I was so this weekend and last weekend I haven't been able to
• 1:35:59
  go. But luckily I work at a really
• 1:36:03
  nice company and our Christmas bonus this year is a paid week
• 1:36:08
  off after Christmas, so yeah. So your boy will be hunting
• 1:36:15
  antlerless. So hopefully I can take two more
• 1:36:20
  deer this year. I'm really, really hoping.
• 1:36:24
  But yeah, that's in other years I would just kind of find a
• 1:36:29
  sitter and and go, you know, everybody's kind of pretty
• 1:36:32
  understanding. Even my ex-wife is understanding
• 1:36:34
  that this is the hunting season. I'm a hunter.
• 1:36:39
  She doesn't mind taking extra time with my son if if need be
• 1:36:44
  during these times. So I just kind of have a have a
• 1:36:47
  plan. Yeah, that's fair.
• 1:36:52
  I think probably subconsciously, a little bit consciously, but I
• 1:36:57
  refuse to really dig through this line of logic, at least
• 1:37:02
  yet. I think part of me is upset that
• 1:37:07
  my, my daughter is not old enough to sit in a tree stand or
• 1:37:15
  ground blind and shut the fuck up for greater than 37 1/2
• 1:37:20
  seconds. Because like I really like, I
• 1:37:24
  remember, I remember growing up like we all knew that dad went
• 1:37:29
  hunting for, you know, a week or a, a long weekend or whatever.
• 1:37:33
  And I remember it's probably, it's probably every year from
• 1:37:39
  9:00 to 9:00 to 11:00. Never forget, by the way, that I
• 1:37:46
  would get super upset that dad was gone.
• 1:37:49
  And you know, I wasn't out there with him because like I knew he
• 1:37:53
  was out hunting, but I couldn't go yet because in Michigan you
• 1:37:57
  have to be 12 to hunt. So like there was this whole
• 1:38:02
  build up in this whole thing behind it.
• 1:38:06
  And I remember being super upset.
• 1:38:08
  And finally I get to go and we haunted.
• 1:38:13
  It was Mr. Courtney's property the first time I went.
• 1:38:17
  And so Mr. Courtney, he haunted a property that raised racing
• 1:38:25
  deer. What the fuck?
• 1:38:27
  Not deer racing horses. Jesus fucking Christ.
• 1:38:31
  I. Was about to say, I've never
• 1:38:32
  heard of a racing deer. Mike, do tell.
• 1:38:35
  You just, you erase him, you know?
• 1:38:37
  It's like he's been brought to you by whiskey.
• 1:38:40
  It. Has it?
• 1:38:42
  Has turns out three is too many, 2 is just a touch, not enough.
• 1:38:47
  But Mr. Courtney raised thoroughbred racing almost a
• 1:38:52
  deer gun horses on this property.
• 1:38:54
  So he had a block permit. So basically anything that
• 1:38:57
  walked on the property that wasn't the horses was fair game.
• 1:39:04
  So dad and I walk out and right, he's I remember getting out of
• 1:39:09
  the car and death like, listen, heel to toe.
• 1:39:12
  That's how you walk through the fucking woods.
• 1:39:15
  Pick your fucking feet up. Don't drag your feet, don't make
• 1:39:18
  a bunch of noise. We got to get out there, set the
• 1:39:20
  blind up, get all the shit in the blind and then we'll sit and
• 1:39:23
  we will wait. And you know, we'll save that
• 1:39:28
  story for another time. But like I will never forget the
• 1:39:32
  first time that I I got to go right.
• 1:39:35
  That was a that was a big fucking deal and I'm excited and
• 1:39:42
  I think I'm a little bit on an illogical level upset that my 3
• 1:39:47
  year old isn't 12 yet and she can't like she can't go and
• 1:39:53
  don't get me wrong, like the not the first year, but from her
• 1:39:58
  like 1 to 2 1/2 that deer season in there.
• 1:40:03
  Pretty much every time I went, she was in an Osprey backpack,
• 1:40:08
  like the kid carrier backpack, and I was spot and stalking the
• 1:40:12
  property knowing full damn well that I wasn't going to see a
• 1:40:16
  fucking thing. But like the fact that she was
• 1:40:19
  there in the outdoors in the pursuit of fucking white tailed
• 1:40:24
  deer like that, that meant something to me that I haven't
• 1:40:29
  bothered to really unpack and put into words yet.
• 1:40:33
  So I think, I think part of me is like I, I probably feel
• 1:40:39
  guilty on some level that I'm going out for the day or like an
• 1:40:42
  evening sit and I'm not taking her or my son because they're
• 1:40:48
  just, they're not old enough. I don't, you know, outside
• 1:40:52
  looking in, I don't think that's guilt, man.
• 1:40:57
  I think that's, I think that's wishful thinking.
• 1:41:01
  I think I think that that's that's anticipation of what's to
• 1:41:07
  come and you're just sad that it's not here right now.
• 1:41:12
  Yeah, probably. That's fair.
• 1:41:15
  You're Thank you, Doctor Luke from Rifle and Ratchet
• 1:41:17
  refinishing. So excited about it.
• 1:41:22
  I think he's right. I agree.
• 1:41:24
  You're just looking forward to something.
• 1:41:26
  You also, you don't want to force it when they're too young
• 1:41:30
  though, because you don't want to force it when they keep, when
• 1:41:32
  they don't understand what's going on, you know?
• 1:41:35
  Because if you if you force it, what?
• 1:41:40
  What? So we're primarily talking about
• 1:41:44
  my daughter, the feral fucking redneck child that lives in my
• 1:41:47
  house that I created half of, honestly 3/4 of because she only
• 1:41:53
  looks like my wife and likes Disney and that is not a 5050
• 1:41:56
  split, but this fucking Ding Dong.
• 1:41:59
  We're driving. We're driving back to the, I
• 1:42:02
  think we were leaving Tractor Supply, we're going back home
• 1:42:05
  and we were on a road with a fucking red light.
• 1:42:08
  We're stuck at the red light and naturally we stop right next to
• 1:42:13
  this roadkill fucking raccoon that has a vulture standing on
• 1:42:19
  it eating its fucking insides. Like this is clearly visible to
• 1:42:24
  everyone. And my daughter goes, is that
• 1:42:29
  trash panda dead? And I'm like, fuck, God damn it.
• 1:42:34
  Yeah, yes, sweetheart, he's he's dead.
• 1:42:37
  That's just, that's kind of how it happens sometimes.
• 1:42:40
  You know, it's it's unfortunate, but critters get killed by cars
• 1:42:43
  sometimes and it's silent for a second.
• 1:42:48
  So she's, she's thinking and trying to fucking process this
• 1:42:53
  complex fucking concept of death and she goes, huh?
• 1:43:00
  I hope he gets better. Me too.
• 1:43:09
  I hope he gets better as a vulture is actively eating his
• 1:43:13
  fucking large intestine. And I go, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:43:20
  I hope he gets better too, sweetheart.
• 1:43:22
  I don't think he's gonna. Only way he gets better if is if
• 1:43:26
  you had some old BAE. Oh shit, I hope he gets better.
• 1:43:34
  He's not going to fucking get better.
• 1:43:35
  He's fucking dead. That's how death works.
• 1:43:38
  But you can't say these things to a three-year old.
• 1:43:50
  Fucking hell, boys. All right boys, let's wrap this
• 1:43:53
  one up. I'm having a hard time breathing
• 1:43:55
  over here. Well hey, have you tried trying
• 1:43:57
  harder? Yeah.
• 1:44:01
  Did it work? Medicine, cough drops, butt
• 1:44:04
  chugging highlights, trying everything.
• 1:44:09
  Hey, where? Where's Maddie at?
• 1:44:10
  I need her to say. She's on right now because she
• 1:44:13
  took Nyquil about an hour ago. She's also 6.
• 1:44:18
  Jimmy, I think I'm going. To do the Jimmy approach and go
• 1:44:20
  hit some Nyquil and another beer.
• 1:44:26
  There you go. We do not condone that.
• 1:44:31
  Words are hard. Don't do that.
• 1:44:35
  But yeah, for for Luke, the tan belt warrior, also the owner and
• 1:44:42
  operator and only fucking dude in Rifle and Ratchet refinishing
• 1:44:46
  for Jimmy and Beads, And I'm Mike.
• 1:44:51
  This has been another episode of The Three Damn Dudes.
• 1:44:55
  Thanks for showing up.