Latest / Forget The Noise / 20. Principles to Build By | Featuring AJ Cappuccitti
Transcript
- Tharun Binu: They say motivation is something you want. Discipline is something you need. Obsession is something you have to have. I'm gonna show you what I wanted, how I got it, and how I was obsessed to get there. All right, another week on Forget the Noise podcast. I've been wanting to do an episode like this for a while because I'm getting comfortable in front of the camera. I'm gonna be honest. And I want to start making it myself. And I want to show people like what gets me through my day, how I'm getting through the day, what motivates me to get to through the day. And just little pick-me-ups I have. And a lot of it is like literature, like someone else's dialect feeding into me, and I resonate with it. So I pulled a bunch of quotes I've had in the vault. over the years, like literally I probably have six years of quotes I found written in a book, on my tablet, in my email. And I pulled some that kind of brought me through a season that I'm in right now. And it's the second time around I'm going through this season. And I think it was relevant to kind of do it because a lot of people I'm connecting with lately are in this season. They're either in the growth or the lonely phase. And the lonely chapter is something I'm like in right now. And I think it's because I'm getting to the next step of bettering myself. So right off the hop, one thing I loved reading. was I'm getting tired trying to be trying to be my best self. And it's true. I've talked to my wife about it. I've talked to friends about it. And I told them like trying to be my best self, I'm exhausted. Like mentally, emotionally, physically, I'm just tired. Like I'm beat down, torn apart, and it's hard to get through every single day. And I'm trying to enjoy the process, but you can't do both. And there's days where I do enjoy the process and I'm fired up and I go, go, go. But by the end of those days, I'm exhausted. Then there's other days I get up and I'm like, I'm not gonna make it through the day. But my head, I already have my non-negotiable set, and I'm like, well, those are already done. That's why they're non-negotiables. But I'm really struggling with it because at the same time of trying to be my best self, I'm in a lonely chapter. I'm in a phase where I just can't. like connect with anyone. I feel like I don't have much in common with many people. I don't know if it's because I'm hitting another season, I'm leveling up, I have more on my plate than I did before. Like right now I literally have my construction company. I have my business solutions company. I got my personal brand. I got my family. I'm trying to get fit. I'm trying to push into speaking. I'm trying to well I just published my book. I'm actually looking into possibly doing a bodybuilding prep just to push my body to the limit. Like There's a lot on my plate and sit down with someone and talk to them about what I'm going through and what I'm feeling and the overwhelm aspect of it. They're like, just take something off your plate. And I'm like, it doesn't work like that. Like when you are fired up and you know you have one life to live and you don't want to waste it and you want to crawl out of life, there's no such thing as taking something off your plate. Now I'm gonna kind of contradict that later on in the episode, but I want to push my plate to the point where it's like, at the point of overflowing. And there's gonna be days where it overflows and I stumble and I screw up and I fuck up. There's gonna be days like that. There's gonna be days I'm not gonna get everything done. But knowing I push myself to capacity every single day I go to bed is what I'm looking for in life. And that's gonna help me resonate with leaving a fingerprint on the world. Like I said in episode, I think it was one. About like I have nothing left from my family. And I want to leave my fingerprint there for my kids. Like my book, it's not going anywhere. It's there forever now. These Podcasts online, they're gonna be there forever. Hopefully, this business is gonna impact my employees and you know, people I've worked with and my family forever. And that's why I'm doing it all. But doing all that when you're alone, it's hard. And don't get me wrong, I can sit with my wife and have dinner, I can sit with my kids and have a great time. I have friends that I can connect like talk to and kind of connect with. But those day-to-day struggles, it's like people don't get it. Like there's very few people that understand when you're pushing yourself at the capacity I'm trying to push myself at. And I don't I don't even feel like I'm at a hundred yet. I feel like I'm only at like 65, 70. You can't turn to someone and say, hey, this is how I'm feeling, this is what I'm going through. And for them to understand, unless they are physically going through that too. And the spin on that is I talk to people who are past that stage and they're like, Don't worry, you'll get through it. It's just like a pat on the head, don't worry about it, you'll get through it, just make you stronger, just make you a better person. So in that transitional stage where you start losing people from the last chapter, but you're not yet at the level of the people in the next chapter, that's a lonely chapter and it sucks. Next quote we're gonna get into is there's a difference between solitude and loneliness. One heals and grows, the other one hollows. Now think about that. Loneliness is something you don't choose. Solitude is something you choose. And I wanted to put this one in there because it fed off the lonely chapter. I'm not feeling like I'm lonely because no one's around in my life. But I feel like there's solitude. There's a point where I'm isolated myself. And it's not easy. Like early bedtimes and not going out and not drinking and not like partying and social gatherings and stuff like that. Like it's not easy. But like the quote said, like one heals you and grows you. I've learned more about myself in the past six months than I have in 40 years. Like 40 fucking years it took for me to start figuring out who I am and what I want to be. And now I'm like firing out all cylinders, feeling like I'm only running at 70% capacity. But for the most part, like I'm doing it for myself and I'm bettering myself. So don't confuse. When you're in the lonely chapter that you're literally lonely. You're in solitude. You're literally isolating yourself from the rest of the world because you don't fit in either spot yet. And like those people I know doing bigger things, like they're right. You will get through it. You will level up or you're gonna level back down. But don't think it's all a loss. Don't think it's all for nothing. Because it's not. You're gonna get something out of it. It all depends on perspective on how you're gonna look at that. And once you get to that point and you have a little bit of success, you're gonna look at yourself and pat yourself on the shoulder. Which can bring me to the next one. Next one is only successful people will admit they are self-made. Did you hear that? Think about it. Only successful people will admit they are self-made. I wanna pause and let that sink in because you always hear successful people say I'm self-made, but you never hear someone unsuccessful say I'm self-made. And 90% of the time, if not 99% or 100% of time, they are self-made. They're the ones that put themselves in those situations. But they don't want to take credit for it because it's not a good situation. It's not a win. Now I feel like someone successful will take credit for a loss. They will sit there and say, you know what? I messed this one up. I learned something. Next time I'm not gonna make the same mistake. And that's what like separates the two categories there is how much accountability can you take? How much can you look at back at yourself and say, you know what? This is because of A B C I did. There's a cool explanation I had I heard about this. now I'm kinda going off my notes here. It's like the last thousand expenses explain your financial situation, the last thousand meals explain your health, and the last thousand decisions determine your success. And I know a thousand is a lot, but if you really think about it, look at the last thousand things you did in one of those categories, and I guarantee you'll match where you are today. And where you are today is self-made. There's only a certain point where you can take, I guess, the cards you were dealt and use them as an excuse of where you are. If you were born and raised at the bottom, at the top, in the middle, like it goes both ways, but you don't hear about the fault stories. You don't hear about the stories where people were at the top and fell to the bottom and they brag about it. They'll never say they're self-made on that. It was always someone else's fault or a circumstance or an environment. But it goes for the other people too that don't build themselves up. Circumstance is an environment. It's an experience. But we are all self-made throughout the whole process. It doesn't matter if you're successful or not. But the tendency is successful people will say they're self made, and unsuccessful people will not say they're self made. Next one is this I talked about on my son a talk the other day, and I got good feedback on it. And this one hit me. I knew it was one of those quotes where it's like I knew about it, it made sense, it was so obvious, but it just wasn't structured the way when I heard it. And it's without the bad, your story will will be lame. And it's true. If you are green lights all the way from work home, you don't come home and say, I hit every green light. If you go to the gym three times and you lose 10 pounds, you don't say, you know, I lost 10 pounds in three days. But when you struggle and you push yourself and you like exhaust yourself at the gym, you brag about that. You're like, I worked out so hard today. My muscles are sore. Or if you had hit traffic on the way home. It's like, you know, like I hit every red light and I had to stop at the store and I'd do this, but I still got home in time. Like those bad things are what make the story. No one gives a shit about the good stuff. Yeah, I'm gonna root for you when you have good stuff, when you have wins, I'm gonna root for you. But when you're in that lonely chapter and you're holding yourself accountable and you're doing all these other things, like those are the things that are gonna make the story great. In 10 years, when I look back at this and I see where I'm at, I may look back and say, hey, when I was 40, I was in a lonely chapter. Or I struggled, or I didn't know if I was gonna make payroll, I didn't know if I was gonna pay my bills. I didn't know if my business was gonna run. I didn't know if this podcast was gonna take off. And that's what's gonna make my story. If you see a video of me in 10 years and it turns around to like, I always knew it was gonna be good. It was easy. I just did this. Like, no one's gonna care. Look how short that story is. You literally summed it up in one sentence. It just worked. That's not what you want. That's not what we're putting on this earth for. That's not why we're alive. We're here for the ups and downs. That's what we need to do. And then lastly, we're gonna have, actually not lastly, I got two more here. So quitting your worst habit will get you further than starting your best. And that goes back to the take something off your plate to put something on. So if you want to get, let's say, healthy, by not eating shit food will get you further than just starting to eat healthy while eating the shitty food. Then that's with anything. If it's being active, like stopping not being active versus starting to be active will get you further. I know that's kind of two in the same, but that's with anything. So like next time you have a goal, think about like what can I like quit doing to be successful rather than putting something on your plate that you're probably not gonna stick to. Don't bullshit yourself. You're probably not gonna stick to it because you already have too much on your plate now and you're already not doing it. So quit something before you pick s pick something else up. And then lastly, for the sake of who I want to become today, I'm willing to sacrifice who I am now. And I hope that kind of ties everything in this episode in together. Because you got a picture of who you want to be. You have to imagine who you want to be, but you have to sacrifice who you are now. Because that person you want to be and that accomplishment you want and that goal you want isn't fitting who you are now. It's like running a business. If you have a million-dollar business and you want a five million dollar business, you've never run a five million dollar business. You have to become someone that can run a five million dollar business or bring someone else in that can run a five million dollar business. And that goes for yourself too. So if you want to be successful, you have to let go of who you are today because the person today isn't successful. And with that come seasons and changes. And seasons and changes come with lonely chapters. So I constructed all that and hopefully someone along the way, I really try to pick stuff that would resonate with someone throughout the whole journey of like not feeling good about themselves, to changing who they are, to what phases they're gonna go through, to giving yourself credit and saying you're self-made. But it all starts with sacrificing who you are today and picturing who you want to be tomorrow or five years down the road or ten years down the road. That's how I want to get out of this episode. Honestly, I'm actually loving this podcast. It's I I bragged everyone. It's a f my favorite thing to do. I enjoy it. Like out of all my ventures, like this is actually really filling my cup. And the feedback I'm getting on it, the comments I'm getting, I guess just the conversations it's opening, and then reaching out and meeting new people and you know, other guests and seeing what they've gone through in their mindset, it's been special to me. So I Wanted to put an episode like this out. I think I'm at the point where I can do an episode that I want to do. And hopefully it helps someone through a certain phase that they're in. Doesn't matter if they're starting halfway through, at the top end, or just broke through that ceiling and created a new floor. Either way, forget the noise podcast. Reach out to me if you need anything at all. Till next week, stay tuned and we got a lot more coming.