Latest / Voices for Voices® / Choose Goals That Are Yours, Not Someone Else's | Episode 496

Transcript

Choose Goals That Are Yours, Not Someone Else's | Episode 496 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Hi everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices.
• 0:05
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Thank you so much for joining.
• 0:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Whether you're watching, listening, you're here in the United States or abroad.
• 0:12
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Thank you so much for being with us.
• 0:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: If you can do us a big favor, give us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, repost.
• 0:21
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That'd be awesome.
• 0:23
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Follow us on social media.
• 0:25
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And if you can reach out to maybe 25 or 50 contacts on your phone and let them know about the Voices for Voices TV Trump podcast, and at that, the Voices for Voices organization.
• 0:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Thank you for being with us.
• 0:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And it's been uh been a few days.
• 0:47
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh we're we're catching up on our uh social media posts.
• 0:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh we're uh a fair amount uh behind because we we're just rocking and rolling with our show.
• 1:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um so we're glad to have you with us.
• 1:04
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And again, if you can tell a friend, uh we'd love to have you and them um be with us for other episodes.
• 1:16
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh we are pushing 500 total episodes in our uh portfolio, so that by itself is just incredible.
• 1:27
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And we're just a charity, low budget, frankly, no budget, really.
• 1:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um, and and so we're we're doing this because we believe uh in helping people, and the big goal is to help and reach at least three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond.
• 1:51
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, and again, Lucy's with us, so uh she might make an appearance here.
• 1:57
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: She's uh currently resting on her shoulders.
• 2:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You can kind of see my head is pushed a little forward.
• 2:05
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so closer.
• 2:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Closter is uh what I'd like to talk about uh today.
• 2:12
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um, there's songs written about uh closter.
• 2:18
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh the there's a song from the chain smokers called Closer, uh Neo Closter.
• 2:29
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That's the one I'm more familiar with as I was uh younger, uh quite a bit younger uh that that song came out, and and so that's what I automatically thought about when I was searching to see uh songs that were titled Closer.
• 2:51
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um we talk about uh we talk about how life is rough, life is tough, no matter what, no matter how good we think we have it, or how bad we think we we have it, we're closer.
• 3:10
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: The key is what are we closer to?
• 3:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Are we closer to achieving our dream or dreams?
• 3:22
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Or are we closer to uh inactivity where we're spinning our wheels, we not quite sure what we want to do.
• 3:40
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We know we don't want to be in that mold of that nine to five or eight to five, uh, but that's all all we might know.
• 3:51
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: What I would recommend in those those cases uh is go check out your your local library.
• 4:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh the libraries around where I reside, they're open to the public, and you can go in there and search different topics that you like, like like sports, uh medical, uh you know, find the area that really makes you passionate when you hear said industry or products or services, and your ears perk up and your eyes go, oh, that would probably be a good start to just do a little bit of research.
• 4:57
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: If you don't want to read the whole book or the whole magazine, uh you don't have to, but right, we're we're trying to get closer to our dream, closer to what we want to do, what we feel our purpose is on earth.
• 5:21
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Because we all have one.
• 5:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um I'm still looking, and uh as of now, um as a believer, uh you know, God hasn't quote unquote appeared to me and say, Justin, voices for voices, that that's what your uh that's what your goal is.
• 5:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That that's that's your purpose here on earth.
• 6:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh all I have to do though is look at how many episodes we have.
• 6:08
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I mean, I I it's hard for me to really even say five hundred.
• 6:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Five hundred of anything is nothing short of miraculous because so many things have to go right to get to this point doesn't mean everything's going right, absolutely not.
• 6:41
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: To get to five hundred, though, some things have had to kind of go in our our direction, and that's why we're so passionate with what we do.
• 7:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That again, five hundred of anything, five hundred days of sobriety, five hundred days of going to the gym, whatever that may be, five hundred of anything is is huge.
• 7:21
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: As I bring this up, is you you you've seen and heard him on uh previous shows.
• 7:33
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We we've had uh I think two shows, maybe three.
• 7:39
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh Don Mattis Jr., he's got you know the purple outfit, the purple beard, and such, and and he has detailed and relived trauma of his early years.
• 8:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And for him, the number forty means something.
• 8:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So I'm forty-four years old.
• 8:15
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Don is coming up like just over a week from when we're we're filming this episode.
• 8:33
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: He's celebrating forty years of sobriety.
• 8:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That's forty years.
• 8:40
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: He started his sobriety four years before I was even born.
• 8:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so numbers mean something, whether it's forty, whether it's four, whether it's one, whether it is fifty percent, a hundred percent, sixty percent.
• 9:05
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: The key is we're trying.
• 9:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Far too often I I I've seen uh people from kind of like my earlier life, earlier days where they maybe they're working towards their goal.
• 9:31
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I don't I don't know.
• 9:38
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But I'm uh I'm a progress type of person not just for me, but for others.
• 9:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like I I have to I have to show progress for me to feel any kind of validation.
• 9:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I wish it wasn't the case, but I've talked about it a lot on prior shows where for me to get validation, I have to have, you know, a piece of paper or an email or uh something that shows that that's what uh that's what I did.
• 10:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so in a way I'm trying to impress other people, but as I'm talking and processing what I'm talking about, I shouldn't I shouldn't have to.
• 10:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You shouldn't have to.
• 10:53
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I mean it's nice if somebody's impressed, like, hey great job, whatever whatever your thing is, whatever my thing.
• 11:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Yeah, it's it it's nice to get recognized.
• 11:12
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But that's not always gonna come.
• 11:15
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: The trophies and all these metals of honor and you have lucky enough to make it to the Olympics, you know, and earn a gold, silver, or bronze medal.
• 11:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Those are all things that are nice and good recognition but for a lot of us there's a lot of days that go by.
• 11:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I know from experience where we're gonna work on this, we're gonna work on that And yet we don't see a result Nobody's there clapping their hands for us, hey great job, Justin Here's your here's your trophy So I don't so while I still seek that validation and and to show like here's what I've done I thought about this long and hard that I'm merely just showing here's what I've done, here's something that I've completed.
• 12:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But I don't need a trophy, I don't need a medal to show me what I've done because it for me it's all God.
• 13:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm just like the intermediary where I'm sharing the best uh we can stories and events, experiences so we can help people.
• 13:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So somebody can be sitting at home or sitting on a plane or wherever and say that right there that resonates with me.
• 13:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It resonates with my family.
• 13:38
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm not perfect, nobody's perfect.
• 13:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: The things I talk about are things that I'm doing or have worked for me or haven't worked for me, and then the same thing with our guests and so again I don't I feel like I need the validation, but I don't with that validation I don't need uh again, I don't need a trophy, a medal.
• 14:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: All those things are I'm gonna switch how I'm sitting so the camera might move around just a bit.
• 14:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Okay, there we go.
• 14:34
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Much better.
• 14:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And then of course you hear the jingling, that's Lucy.
• 14:39
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So uh but yeah, I don't I don't I don't need that type of validation.
• 14:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Yeah, that's great.
• 14:50
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You know, growing up playing sports, I was decent, I guess.
• 15:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so there were tournaments, there were events that we would our team, my team would enter, and sometimes we would get first, sometimes second, sometimes we wouldn't.
• 15:15
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We wouldn't get a trophy.
• 15:22
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so it's taken me really these 44 years in counting to think about this of do I need that type of validation?
• 15:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like, it's one thing to you know show, hey, excuse me, this this is something that I did, I completed this, I have this goal, and now part of it or all of it I've completed it.
• 16:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's really just hard to hard to fathom about the trophies because yeah.
• 16:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Would that be kind of the ultimate validation?
• 16:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It could be but I come back to this as I have many times before.
• 16:35
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: When we leave this earth, we're not gonna be able we're not gonna be able to take those trophies and and medals and certificates of appreciation, of honor, of you name it.
• 16:54
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We don't get to take those with us.
• 16:58
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so I think that's part, if not all, of why I feel about the trophies and medals topic that I do.
• 17:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Because I think that I'd be wasting my time trying to reach out to have me or the organization recognize again, those things are great.
• 17:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: If they happen, I didn't say I'm gonna turn them down.
• 17:38
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Excuse me.
• 17:38
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I didn't say I'm gonna turn them down.
• 17:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's just something that that's just not my goal.
• 17:47
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: My goal is to help three billion people, to reach three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond through Voices for Voices, which is quite literally a ministry where we bring humans across the world together based on culture and not politics.
• 18:23
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Yes, we've had politicians on our show, but if you look at the close to five hundred shows at this point, you're not gonna see a hundred shows, two hundred, three hundred, you're not gonna see this huge number of politicians.
• 18:53
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: A lot of them are for specific work that they have have completed.
• 19:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like the Take It Down act with Senator Ted Cruz from Texas, which is now a federal law, and the first person under that law is being prosecuted.
• 19:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: See, it's more it's more of what the action of that politician versus it being about getting re-elected or some person that's running for office for the first time.
• 19:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So, what are you getting closer to?
• 20:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Bringing it right back to the beginning of the of our episode.
• 20:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: What are you getting closer to?
• 20:09
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Are you getting closer to your dream?
• 20:13
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Closer to the goals that you want, not the goals that your parents want, not the goals that your roommate, your friend, as hard as it as it can be not the goal of a significant other.
• 20:39
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so again, I I ask again, what are you getting closer to?
• 20:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Are you getting closer to activity?
• 20:50
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Are you getting closer to inactivity?
• 21:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: The hardest thing to do, and I I'm guilty of this when I was younger, I the going to the gym working out, and the physique and all that, that was so important to me.
• 21:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I do need to get back into better shape.
• 21:25
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So I'm admitting that.
• 21:30
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But the deal is this.
• 21:35
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: The hardest part of working out is getting started.
• 21:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Getting off the couch, getting off the chair, getting off the bench, off the bed.
• 21:53
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Hardest part is getting started.
• 21:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And the goals are very much the same.
• 22:04
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You just gotta get started.
• 22:08
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: If you're like me and need that validation work just work on it.
• 22:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Again, nobody's perfect.
• 22:26
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I went to a mine and my wife's our child, they had art show at their school.
• 22:38
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so they had art from different times of the school year.
• 22:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Maybe some got judged.
• 22:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Everybody was welcome at that school.
• 23:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: They had had relation with the ch child, you know, parent, guardian, grandparent, not just anybody.
• 23:18
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so there was it was so cool because there was no competition of well, this piece of art versus this other piece of art.
• 23:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It was letting everybody express their creativity in the piece of art.
• 23:57
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's neat to see some of the things that they do.
• 24:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I don't know, but just having that opportunity not only to do the art and make the art, create the art, but that would be for like if I turn back the clock for me, bringing my parents to an art show at a at a school and showing them my work, that would be validation for me.
• 24:51
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so it might might be our child's validation for them.
• 24:57
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Or they're gonna look back and go, you know what, that was that was so neat that my parents came to see the art that I've been working on.
• 25:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And it really was.
• 25:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It was very neat to see that and to see those and not just mine, but to see all the other children and they're pointing and saying, Look, here's mine, here's mine, and they get a picture next to it or close to it.
• 25:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Or a parent holds them up, but if it's at the top area, so again, just ask yourself, what are you closer to?
• 26:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Closer to validation, closer, closer to even finding out in your mind what you want to do.
• 26:23
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Doesn't have to be closer to completing the goal, you can be closer to finding out what the goal is, what you want to do, because that's getting started too, right?
• 26:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Y'all put the phone down, you gotta put screens away, and you gotta just think for some of us, it's very hard to do, extremely hard to do, and maybe we can't think of a time where we were able to just sit and think, or stand and think, or without having the ringer or the vibration of the phone or the TV on or whatever it that can be a goal in of itself.
• 27:29
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm gonna put my phone and turn it off, turn off all the screens for 30 minutes one day a week.
• 27:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And I bet you in a couple weeks or so, you'll be you'll be closer to finding out what what your goal is, what you want, what you want to do.
• 28:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I I mean I remember growing up and you know what are my roommates work, what are they doing?
• 28:13
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I changed my major a couple different times at the university.
• 28:29
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Yeah, I was trying to be like my roommates or like my sister instead of like Justin.
• 28:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: What does Justin want to do?
• 28:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Because as we figure out as life goes on, those some of those people usually siblings are we're we're in general, not all the time.
• 29:12
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We're we hear more of what what they what they do and where they're at in life.
• 29:23
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Versus a roommate, I I couldn't tell you what I could tell you what one of them, like what their their major information technology, IT, but we don't talk, haven't talked in years, years, and that's a roommate, that's somebody that we were really close for years, and then we're not so if I would have picked his major because of that, thinking, oh well, we'll be able to chat and talk about these things as life continues, it's not the case, even in the best of hopes, and we don't usually have that opportunity, and and then when you're on the phone or FaceTime, Zoom, it's like I don't want to talk about that.
• 30:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I just want to talk about something that is not work-related, or it's family hobbies.
• 31:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So that's why I'm saying figure out what you want to do, not what somebody else wants to do.
• 31:17
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You can take opinions, you can take other people's thoughts, but at the end, you gotta make that decision because you're the one that's gonna have to live with it.
• 31:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So I'll ask one more time.
• 31:39
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: What are you closer to?
• 31:43
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Hope you enjoyed this episode.
• 31:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Let's celebrate all the voices in the world and be a voice for you or somebody in need.
• 31:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We'll see you next time, everybody.
• 31:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Bye bye for now.