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S2 E48 - Pet Treats · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Steven Jeff Show, the funniest podcast ever.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: Hey people, I don't write the words, I just read them.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Stephen Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there, too.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you, Johnny.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: It's great to be back in the studio.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: And Jeff, you know, tonight I am even more excited than normal to be in this studio.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Tonight I'm always excited, but tonight, even more so.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: I am too.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: And how's it going, Steve?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: Just gotta tell you, the reason that I am so much more excited tonight is, you know, we do comedy.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: We're funny, we try to do funny stuff, but we also, there's another side to us that I think a lot of our comedy fans might not know.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: There is a hard-cutting journalistic side to us.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: We expose the truth.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: We like to get to the bottom of real stories and expose the facts, the truth, the reality, the banality of it, you know.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I think tonight, Jeff, is gonna be one of those nights.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when we look back at our career together, which spans, I guess, almost a hundred years.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: About a hundred years, yeah.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: For the show.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we have next year it'll be a hundred, yeah.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: So 99.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to exaggerate.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, somebody's gonna come back and say you're lying, you know, it wasn't.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it wasn't like saying it'd be like saying we were coach, but we were really assistant coach.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's like, you know, come on, you don't you you gotta be accurate, right?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that this is a side of us that some people are not familiar with because we are so funny, so much into entertaining that when we do step into the political realm, you know, we have to be careful because you know, obviously half the country feels one way, half the country feels the other.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: So we always want to be careful, but I think it is important that occasionally we get involved because it's important for us to make sure that justice wills out.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_02: That is so true, Jeff.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: And and you know, you're you're also right on target with those halves of the country.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: I am most concerned about that third half, though, that is just is undecided.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, and I think maybe we can reach some of them tonight.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know, uh Jeff, we have we have exposed, we have done so much good journalism over the that century, essentially, let's call it a century, century minus three months, whatever.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: Uh we've done so much good journalism over that time.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_02: What what do you think are some of our highlights?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: Just to for people that may not be familiar with that side, they may think of us as guys who you know be funny and do goofy stuff, but we also do this.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: What would you say is the some of the highlights?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many, Steve.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, so many places 100 years.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's a lot's happened, you know.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, we we our place in history is cemented as solving so many problems, but I think number one on my list was the Watergate break-in.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, that was a really important one because you know there was a crime there.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: We were fortunate enough.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think we've ever revealed to anybody which one of us was the deep throat, the person that exposed everything.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, you were always more the movie fan than me, so but I digress.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: I would like to be considered the deep throat, or you know, I've always been a big fan of deep throating, but but again, I don't want to give that away, but I would say that would probably be the way I would look at it.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: What what about you?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I that was a wonderful one, but I keep going back to the OJ trial.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, you know, and now we came into that, like most people, figuring, well, OJ probably did it.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you know, the evidence kind of pointing to him, it looks bad, looks like he did it.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, kind of looks like he did it.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: Well, but I gotta tell you, Jeff, when we realized that he only put that glove on halfway, said, Oh, well, it can't be him then.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: It can't be him.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: And we were so glad that really justice prevailed.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I think we're talking justice here, you know.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, he only he could only get it on halfway.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: He was straining, you could see it on the cameras.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it was so obvious, and yet if it wasn't for us, uh it never would have happened.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: I right, exactly.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: And and it seems like it's yesterday.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: I think when I sometimes when I watch the Kardashians, you know, I think about it because uh that was their father, right?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: That was uh who defended, right?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: One of his lawyers, yeah.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I get a tingle down my spine.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: I you know, I still buy Hertz cars because remember I still remember OJ running through O'Hare airport and and uh and then the naked gun movies.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that OJ was a funny guy.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: Really a multi-talent.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: If you'd only had gloves that fit him, you know, he would have who knows where he could have gone with his career, you know.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I completely agree with you.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: You know, there is one more, and I think Jeff, you've you've talked about this one too.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: It kind of goes back to our some of our earlier years of doing the show, of doing the the hard journalism.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: Uh was just after just after the second world war, wasn't it, Jeff?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I'm glad you brought that up.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: I almost forgot, but uh it's it's about Hitler, yeah, right?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Bad name now, but back in the in the days, especially after the war, Hitler was kind of viewed as a sympathetic character, you know, was a positive guy, you know, and and he had some charisma.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it was important for us to make sure that revisionist history did not happen and that we were able to tell the truth and hold him accountable.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, maybe there were some good things about him, but at the end of the day, he was kind of evil.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I agree completely.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: I, you know, in fact, I I can't even watch Charlie Chaplin movies because that mustache, you know, it just it sets me off.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: We all have to do our part, Jeff.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: And one of the things that I've done is I had a bunch of kids, I didn't name a one of them Adolf.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I you know, I just don't think that's right.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Great point.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: Any other things that you you recall that you're proud of that we were involved in?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: There's one, another one that is kind of a few years after that, a little bit before OJ, or right around the same time as OJ, I guess.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: I I'm really glad that we were able to protect Bill Clinton from being removed from office and really put the blame for that where it belonged, right on Monica Lewinsky.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, come on, who's more responsible?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's gonna be Monica, right?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, clearly, Clinton, the economy was so good under Clinton, and that's the test, right?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: If the economy is good, it really doesn't matter if the guy commits crimes or lies or does whatever, right?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: The economy's good.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, hey, must be okay then, right?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: And uh again, a chance to coin the phrase and use that phrase that we coined, deep throat.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that was that it became mainstream, and so I'm proud of it on multiple levels.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: Big part of what we do, in fact, how we really got wind of a lot of these things was we got tips from our loyal audience, and we were able to follow up those tips.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, it's important we get those tips, we do have to verify the information and make sure that it's accurate.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know, does it pass the smell test?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: Or is it just fake news?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and and tonight, tonight, Jeff, we're gonna smell it.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's right, Steve.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: And with my nose, the smell test can be quite intense.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, oh, and I'm glad there's a there's a place for my nose to play a role in this.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: So oh, absolutely.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: Your nose is a critical determination in this in tonight's show, Jeff.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_02: So it's very, very important.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I know that we have another issue that came up, one that is worth examining this morning, just to let the audience know, our listeners know that this morning we received a box in the mail with a note from a John Barron of Palm Beach, Florida.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: And if it's true, Steve, this might change the way we look at the world from now on, especially in the great state of Ohio.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, Jeff, I agree.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: This is this could be this could be critical.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: Because in that box, there is what appears to be a menu from a restaurant, and that restaurant is named Hunter Biden's Haitian Dinner Palace and Internet Cafe, or it's really Cafe Vay, I guess.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_02: And there's a post-it note from this Mr.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_02: John Barron, who we don't know, but apparently is a listener, apparently listens to the show.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: Note from Mr.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: Barron that says, Here's the proof they are eating the dogs.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: Now, Jeff, we have to determine, we have to stick your nose into this and see if this is real or if this is fake.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_02: We need to just really get in and roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty and and change the litter and do just do all that stuff, you know.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: To be honest, my first impression of this menu that John, this John Barron sent us, kind of was suspicious.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: It was sort of poorly created, and it it just looked like it could have been made up.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I mean, look at the title of the restaurant, Hunter Biden's Haitian Dinner Palace and Internet Cafe.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's really wordy.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: I I've never heard of that before.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: As a skeptical journalist, it just it's a shitty title.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I never even knew that Hunter Biden was in the restaurant business to begin with.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, Jeff, a lot of people with with celebrity names are in the restaurant business, but they're not really in it.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: You know, they just use their name and they they take a percentage for using their name and they they show up twice a year.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, look, Harry Carey's in Chicago.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, he hasn't been there since 1998, you know.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, come on.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's you know, so but I uh I got I gotta agree with you, Jeff.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: The menu has a bunch of typos, I mean, really easy, obvious typos.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: I like they misspelled Springfield and and they and they made it two words, and and they spelled Ohio with a Y.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: I mean the word menu is misspelled.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, I mean, this is certainly if Hunter Biden was involved in this, he did not run this through any like restaurant consultant or business advisor or any or even a a a competent printer.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, this is this is crazy, right?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_02: But if on the tiny, tiny possibility that there's something to this, it would be a tremendous scoop.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: Uh you know, this this would be worse than uh this might be worse than Hitler.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: This might be worse than Monica Lewinsky, even.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: And if it's not true, whoever put this menu together is a really fucking moron.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh because it's not even close to being I at least on first blush, it doesn't look very believable to me, but I'm horrified just on the on the idea of uh that it could be potentially true.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think we should probably take a look at the menu.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if for no other reason I didn't have dinner, I am a little hungry.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, absolutely.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, Jeff, I I agree that my first thought in looking at this menu, uh, you took the words right out of my mouth, fucking idiot.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that is exactly who would look at this, who would go to this restaurant, right?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you'd have to be right, you have to be an idiot to do that, right?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: But as journalists, Jeff, okay, yes, we we are funny guys, but as journalists, yeah, wearing different hats.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you probably wear a lot of hats.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, hats mess up my hair, but I you don't have the you don't get hat here, so I mean I don't.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know, so you probably wear a bunch of hats, but wearing our journalist hats, it's a responsibility that we owe the world.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: We owe history a good look at this.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I just I you know, I gotta tell you, I'm afraid to read the menu, but I don't think we have a choice.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: Uh sometimes you you know, you just gotta do it.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_02: And and you know, funny you should mention hungry.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_02: I am a little hungry, so maybe this will help.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe we'll get some dinner ideas here.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_02: What do you think?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, as tough as this may be to go through um and to present on the podcast, I think that it's something that we have to do.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: Although I would recommend anybody out there that has their pets in the room might want to want to take them out, you know, before we do this.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, get your pets out of the room.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: If you've got fish, maybe I don't know, put a paper towel or a a newspaper if you have one of those.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: Those were things that used to wind up on your doorstep and people read them.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: And but if you have one of those, put that over the tank just to protect the little fishies.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_03: So where should we start?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: You want to take a look at what they have for breakfast?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: They have it broken down breakfast and lunch and etc.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: etc.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: You want to take a look at what they have for breakfast?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: I'm almost afraid to look.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I was too, although I do have to say that it's it's kind of not a bad breakfast menu.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, could have used a little bit more variety, but let me just go through it and you know, let everybody decide.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: It looks like at the top of the list you've got your, you know, you've got your staples, you've got your French poodle toast, uh, egg McBuffy, fluffy flakes, cereal, you know, the kind of stuff that you know everyone has to eat normally, you know, fish eggs, bloodhound sausage, uh, beagle bagels, which you know I I've not heard of, but ginger jam.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have any any idea where what that might be?
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I as a kid we had a dog named Ginger, but uh I don't know, Jeff.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: Didn't we have a stripper?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: We did.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: We had a stripper named Ginger too, yes.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but it was a stripper later, and you know, they were completely different, you know.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Right, and then it's rounded off with the Ukrainian pancakes with vodka sauce.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, my mom would like those.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, sure, and then locks and oh, yeah, my god, Steve.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm so disgusted as I look at this, mostly because of the locks.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, smoked salmon.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: I eat salmon a lot for meals, and it doesn't look at all like this, and it's not sushi, it's smoked, but it's somewhere in between.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just horrified by it, and and I, you know, I I've always been disgusted by it.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: I know Kathy hates it too.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man, you know, this menu really is unbelievable, but uh you know, I gotta admit, Jeff, I I do love sausage, and yeah, I blood sauce is is is great, it depends on how you prepare it.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's uh the Cone Brothers had this recipe, blood simple sausage, that I thought was really good.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: I thought it was outstanding.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, you know, it's been a lot of people forgotten about that recipe, but you know, it's still pretty good.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: Really depends on how you cook it.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: But if they're doing what I think they're doing with this menu, I that's that's evil, Jeff.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I you know, plus I almost hate to ask this, this but where's the hair?
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: What do they do with all the fur?
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, Steve, I used to work in the pet industry and they had this product called Ferminator.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I and yes, and it was a hair trimming tool.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I'm just guessing here, I'm just spitballing this, but wasn't that an action movie with Bruce Willis?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: And that's she went bald after that.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: It was Ferminator, yeah.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but if at the bottom line is if you're talking about skinning Fido for breakfast, then I'm gonna hurl right here.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, this is puke inducing.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's all I see for breakfast.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: What do you see for lunch?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, let's take a look at the lunch.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm hungry now, too.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, I'll start looking at the lunch items here.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: Well, uh, you know, the lunch items starts off pretty normal.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: Hot dogs, right?
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, okay, right, you know, all right, hot dogs.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: German shepherd's pie.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I always thought it was English, but okay.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: German shepherd's pie, all right.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: Beagle burgers.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: I guess the beagle burgers kind of go with the beagle bagels, and maybe I wonder if you could get a beagle burger on a beagle bagel.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds kind of good.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe some locks on top of it.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: That actually sounds kind of sounds kind of good.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: Uh huh.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: Uh feline fingers.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure yeah.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: Those are kind of little, but I mean if you eat enough of them, I guess.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: And okay, hush puppies.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_02: See, we're going back to normal, right?
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: Hush puppies, right?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: Hamster fritters.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: Hmm.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: I like fritters.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: Don't know about the hamster.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: Uh spot kebabs.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, look at this.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: Fish tacos.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: Love.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: There are signs for fish tacos all over Florida.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, fish tacos.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: Filet O fish.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I always wondered about the O, you know, filet O fish.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: Is that supposed to be like the fish's mouth?
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_02: Is that like shaped like a fish tank?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: Is that you're supposed to bait your hook through uh filet o fish?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: What is that?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: Is that Irish fish?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, what what are we talking here?
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: I think the O is one way for them to signify that it may not be the kind of fish you're used to.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_02: That it's you know, like oh Henry, oh fish, it's not or maybe it's like the blood sausage, and they're saying it's fish type O blood.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_02: Could be that.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: Could be.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: Regardless, you add a little tartar sauce and some cheese, and you got yourself a good sandwich, no matter what it is.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, I gotta say, I do love fish tacos, man.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: Me too sounding kind of good.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, me too.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: And the the flay of fish is just sounding better and better.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it and it it seems as though this menu is pretty fresh, but clearly it demonstrates how badly as a country we eat.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, hardly any vegetables there.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you know, there's no green vegetables.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_02: This is way past keto.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: This is like, yeah, you're talking the board certified cardiologists association is probably endorsing this menu.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's like good for business, you know.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know how you can live.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't think the animals can live off of this, and certainly I don't know if we can live off of this, but again, there's something about it that just you know makes me even hungrier.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: And we haven't even got to dinner.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, dinner or dessert.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: Let's take a look at dinner.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: Let's see what we have here.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, cats, cattail stew.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, smoke butt.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Smoke butt's big thing in our family.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: We used to have that all the time.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure whose butt that might be.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_02: I had you know, I had that, I had that as a kid, and uh, you know, I got better, but and Rocky Mountain Oysters.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Who hasn't had Rocky Mountain Oysters before?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Yorkshire Terrier Pudding, uh on top of some roast beef.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: Kind of like the German shepherd pie.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, yeah, all right, okay, all right.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you got chicken catchatory.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: I think that may be misspelled, but I think, yeah.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: Could be uh barbecue pit bull in Bernice Mountain Sauce.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that sauce is good.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: I've had that, I had that sauce on some fish tacos, in fact.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: That sauce is really good.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_02: That is good.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: Goldfish sushi.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I like all kinds of sushi, so that that really fits for me.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: Goldfish, though.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: They're really just like little carps, aren't they?
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, if you're gonna eat a carp, you know, yeah, it's like a little yeah.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: T-bone snake.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that might be a misspelling.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: Is that a is that another typo?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: Is that another misspelling?
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: And then it rounds it off with uh tongue and liver and a lot of carbs there.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the sushi is okay, but only one type of sushi.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I do love tongue.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: My mom used to make that all the time.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: It uh a key part of tongue is the horseradish.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it looks like they use real horse for that.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: So it sounds like it's a nice touch.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: Well, just authentic, you know, that's farm to table and all.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, I I Jeff, I love tongue too, but usually not till the second date.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: I think I I like to hold off a little bit.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, but yeah, again, not to not to nitpick this menu, but we are as we're sticking our nose in and doing the smell test on this menu.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: I I agree with you, everything is so heavy here.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, you know, there's if somebody would actually eat this, I can't even imagine you'd want a dessert, but there's really not a lot of creativity and some misspellings in here, too, you know.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_02: Let's take a look at dessert here.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Snickers.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I like Snickers.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's kind of a calico type.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_02: Kind of a calico type dog, yeah.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that's yeah.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: Feline butterfingers.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: Don't know exactly what that is.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: Not sure what that is.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, chocolate mouse.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_02: Here we go.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: Another typo, probably.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_02: Chocolate mouse could be.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think cataloupe.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: That could be another typo.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: That could be a typo, you know.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, well, it makes perfect sense.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: Animal crackers.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, of course.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: Animal crackers, yeah.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: Cow pie.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Steve, cows are not pets.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, if they if the whole theme of this thing is that they're pets, I think you're really stretching it, unless you were raised on a farm and I still don't think they're they're pets.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and and whoever put this menu out, they have spotted dick as a dessert.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I it doesn't surprise me for a minute that this guy's got spotted dick.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_02: Let me just tell you that.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and that may not get better, you know what I'm saying?
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_02: That's may just be stuck with that.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_02: Poodle pudding.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um Rounding it up with vanilla ice cream.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's like vanilla ice cream, right?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: You know, no hot fudge, no toppings.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: Not even that's a mistake.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: But they got ice cream.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: So you could you could finish it off with uh with vanilla ice cream.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: Hey.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: So as I look at this, Steve, I'm thinking that this is disgusting.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but at the same time, it's lacking any real credibility.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: I again putting my journalism hat on, I just I'm not buying that this is real.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, come on.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: I you have those restaurants that are farm to table.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: This one was what, house to table or the neighbor's house to table, and I just don't buy it.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds like it's sort of a stupid way to just target people and you know who did nothing wrong.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: Plus, I'm wondering how big these portions are, because it's not, it doesn't say and it also doesn't have pricing here.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I hate restaurants that don't get pricing, don't you?
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, and then you know if they don't tell you the price, you know it's bad.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you just get ready.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's think of a high number and it's higher, okay?
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_02: You know, yeah, you know that if they don't even tell you, but you know, you're so right.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it this looks like it it's incredible that this place exists.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: Number one, there's no phone number.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: Did you ever see a restaurant that didn't list a phone number?
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: No, or didn't list like a website where you could order and have delivery or order ahead, and you know, it doesn't give an address.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: You ever see a restaurant advertised that didn't give an address?
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: No, and the way they get there, Ohio.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: I looked up in preparation.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: There's 32 states that have a Springfield.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: And and the way they smell Ohio, I'm not even sure that's Ohio.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it looks more like a Leyah or something.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm not even sure what it is.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: Oleomargarine or something.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_02: I it just Jeff, it just I you know, we we just gotta be the journalist here and call it the way we see it.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: I it this looks like this story's made up.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: I mean you have to I think this the only people that would believe this are the people that for whatever reason wanna believe it.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: You know?
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I think this Mr.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_02: Barron, if indeed that is his real name, uh, you know, I think he's just looking to keep everybody hating and afraid and you know, keeping turmoil until the election or the next made-up story.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Jeff, I don't, I don't think, I don't think this is real.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: I I think you're right.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: But I don't want to discourage our audience from submitting things.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to thank Donald.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: I mean uh John Barron for sending us the information and half the country, we're doing them a favor by proving that this isn't true.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: The other half probably knew that ahead of time, but I want to tell Mr.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: Barron that he's feel free to send us more proof of things that aren't true in the future.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well done, and and uh speaking of well done, feel like grabbing something to eat, Steve, after the show.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, I'd love to, you know.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: But before we go though, we have a new sponsor, and the sponsor kind of came in with the menu.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't know if this is a real sponsor.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_02: This might be as fake as that menu, as this story, as this whole concept.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: It might be that fake.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, it's a listener, we sent it in, or he sent it in.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, we kind of owe it to our audience.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know what?
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_02: No reason we have to sit here and listen to it.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: But Johnny, we're gonna go out and get some fish tacos, but play that new commercial.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: This is John Barron.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: That really is my real name.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: I wish all of you could come to this restaurant, but I know a lot of you won't because the media tells you it's not real.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: But there are a lot of other ways you can join the fight, fight, fight.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people are excited about our gold-coated sneakers.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: We took$8 sneakers made by prison labor in a country I can't name, and we made them great again with a gold-covered veneer.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: Years for the low, low price of$850.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: Or another favorite, a piece of plastic with my picture on it.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: Under the current administration, that's just a piece of plastic.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: But with our greatness, we made it into a non-fungible token, a collector's item, yours for only$1,975 to my defense fund.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean my new company, Crypto Creep Inc.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: And for a limited time only, we will throw in a commemorative coin for just another$1,000.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: How can you beat those prices?
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, the first$10,000 suckers.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: Who wrote this?
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: I have the worst writers.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: I mean the first$10,000 shoppers.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: We will throw in for just another$500 a big, beautiful stack of collective casino chips might be used that will make nice accent items for your Red State home.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and don't forget our beautiful gold-coated watch, complete with my signature engraved in the coating.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: A valuable$7 watch, yours for only$100,000.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, they're forcing me to have legal fees.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: Your watch purchase can help.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: Not sure when they will be delivered, but we have a concept of delivery date.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Sometime in the 2040s.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: All sales are final to no refunds.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: We prize loyalty above absolutely everything else.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: No way, don't fade me out.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: Miss Claire, don't fade me out.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: I have legal expenses.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: I need your money to play like I'm rich.