Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep75: Nick fears the quiet couple; Evelyn fears being the Canadian Mouthful.

Transcript

Ep75: Nick fears the quiet couple; Evelyn fears being the Canadian Mouthful. · Reverse Jackass

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's Reverse Jackass Folks.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to the Reverse Jackass Podcast, the podcast to bring peace between the United States and Canada.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Nick with me as always is Evelyn the Canadian Blade.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Evelyn, say hello to the Evelyn, say hello to the people.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: I am here after having done my vocal warm-ups, which clearly one of us didn't, and one of us didn't do.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: It is I, the blade.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I have arrived.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: It is I, the blade.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I have arrived.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Roll out the red carpet.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: The blade is nigh.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: So as sometimes happens, folks, sometimes I show up to these things without a prompt ahead of time.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then sometimes, you know, Evelyn and I usually start off with about 45 minutes of solid conversation before we start recording just to get the really offensive stuff out of the way.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then um, and then we start talking.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things, we're talking about couple dynamics.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things that I thought about that is kind of an insider baseball that a lot of people don't know about therapists is, you know, sort of therapist's different approach to treating couples.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: And obviously, there's a million different ways that couples constellate and interact with one another.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes they have fun inside jokes, like you know, Evelyn was telling me about a fun inside joke between her and her husband.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's, you know, hopefully they all have that.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's a wonderful thing.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Different communication styles, different flashpoints, all kinds of different stuff, right?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: And part of the fun with couples is getting inside the culture of their relationship and, you know, learning what they're like.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: And there are some therapists who are really afraid of dealing with high conflict couples, right?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: And that can be scary, especially when you're new, to deal with people who are really mad at each other or who yell at each other or who don't have the skills.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's actually against the rules for any of us who don't have like a specialty in it to see couples where there's active violence in the relationship.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes there's, you know, voice raising, yelling, name-calling, verbal abuse, stuff that's not physically dangerous, but that shows up in relationships.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: But one of the things that I think people don't know about me is that I am never concerned about seeing an angry, verbally loud couple in my office.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like that doesn't scare me at all.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I'm happy to see them.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: It generally means it's gonna be an interesting session.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm good at helping people learn how to regulate themselves, even if I myself am not a master of self-regulation.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, those who can't do teach kind of thing.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so those couples don't bother me at all.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I've had some couples have some pretty heavy knockdown, drag out verbal confrontations in my office before, and that's real.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: The couple that that scares the shit out of me, the couple that I'm most worrying about seeing in my office, and I will be frank with couples about this, is the couple that says, Oh, we never fight.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, we never fight.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: We never fight.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: We never fight.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Everything's fine.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: And what that means to me is that there is a fight that has been waiting to be had for years.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: There's an ingrown hair under that budding pimple that's coming in.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Quiet, metastasizing growth.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: And how this usually manifests itself is that at some point after 25 years, one of this is the example I give them.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: They're sitting at the dinner table, and one of them says, Hey, would you pass me the salt?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: And the other one goes, Fuck you, I'm divorcing you.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: It came out of nowhere.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then the one goes, I just couldn't take it anymore.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: I just couldn't take his bullshit anymore.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: This is just ridiculous.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: This is I can't, right?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: And the other person's like, I thought it was going fine.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I never get scared of that.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: And a couple where they fight is on some level engaged.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: Makes total sense.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Something about walking away from a relationship where it's kind of not workable anymore.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Or where like apathy is set in.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you're fighting, there's still some energy and some spark and some passion there about something.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like I had a friend.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: This is not a client, this is a friend.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: They were a pair of friends, they were married, and at one point, the female partner decided to leave the male partner, and he begged her to go to couples counseling and she agreed.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then they went to couples counseling, and he said it went great, and they were really happy about it.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: And the next week they came in and the couples therapist said, How are you doing?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, Good, I'm I'm ready to leave.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: And my my friend said, my male friend said, But I thought we were gonna go to couples therapy.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, We went to couples therapy and I'm ready to leave.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: And for her, they were gonna have a session, like a way of closing the door conscientiously.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: And she was leaving.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: And for him, it was we're gonna start to work on this thing.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: But the truth is the thing had been happening for a really long time, and she was more aware of it than he was.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so she's the result, right?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I think that people, I don't know, I honestly don't know what lay people think about this, but I know that new therapists are often really scared of couples because they don't know how they're gonna handle these situations, how they're gonna handle the you know, the fire blasts of anger and resentment that can come out.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm not scared of that at all.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: The silent, resentful couple, that's the couple that scares me.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: So, my question for you, Evelyn.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I was hoping you were before the question, I was hoping you were gonna lay some like juicy zingers on us that you've heard in the therapy room.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Although I know you can't.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, I can, I can, but it it troubles people.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: I can technically there's another thing people don't know.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: I can talk about my work.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: I can't talk about it in identifying details.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: But my experience is that, you know, it's weird for people.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't want anybody that meets with me to think that I'm going to use their content as fodder for a podcast or anything else.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't talk about it because I just want people to feel really confident that, like, that even beyond what I'm legally required to do to keep confidentiality, that I keep confidentiality.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: So no, I don't have any zingers for you.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: I can give you zingers from my own couples' therapy with my wonderful wife, I want to, which was a tremendous investment in which we both, you know, absolutely sing the praises of all the time.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I was happy to share that one story about my friends.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, no, I no, that's these are the things that have to go with me to the grave.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: To the grave.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're a bit of a they'll you'll have to have a closed casket just to keep all of that on lock.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: I I sure will.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, sorry, I interrupted you right at the at the question, at the inflection point.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Later on.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Is professionally, what is your greatest fear?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: Professionally, what is my greatest fear?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: And don't give me something like, oh, I'm gonna go to business.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean, what is the thing either as a music teacher, as a social media manager, or any of the other things that you do where you go, fuck, not that.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I don't mean existential, like, oh God, what if they repossess my house?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I want like, what is the thing where you go, oh God, I'm gonna be six months into working with somebody and they're gonna reveal to me that their whole business platform is misogyny?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Something like that.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think I have to answer that.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: By the way, while Evelyn thinks about this, I just had I want to let you all know that uh in today's in mansplaining news, yeah, I had to explain to Evelyn what curves was today.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: Curves, like the the workout space.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: The gym.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: The work yeah, aka a gym, the workout space.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: I had to explain it.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: No, but I think I think, honestly, that there is a difference between curves and a gym.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: There's those are two different things.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I said a workout space and not a gym.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me the difference.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: To me, a gym is like loud and brosy and like all like boisterous, large.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas like a workout space, like curves the workout space, is not that.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: This makes me think that you have never been to my gym or a curves because I can't imagine.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: No, I've never you're right.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: I've never been to my gym is my gym, like most of Southern California, is quiet and reserved and non-communicative and not very broy.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I have to imagine that the and I don't know, now I'm really taking a guess here.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: I have to imagine that the reason that you have a space like curves is so that you can be boisterous without worrying about some weird perv coming up to you and trying to tell you how to lift weights.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think that's the reason curves exists, but I don't imagine it's the same flavor of boister.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: That a gym is.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's different.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is really there's only one way, you know what?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's only one way to solve this.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what's gonna happen.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the plan.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Folks, you can hold us to this.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: There's no time limit on this plan, but it will happen.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna come to Southern California and I'm gonna go to a curves and I'm gonna go to your gym.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're gonna come here and you're gonna go to a gym here and a curves.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even think we have them in this province anymore, so you're gonna have to go to a different province.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be like, Canadian gyms are broy.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: They are like you don't think of Canada as being like a super sort of like toxic masculinity thing, but it turns out they're all hanging out at the gym.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: They're all at the gym.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Lumberjack motherfuckers working out in in flannel, beards down to their nipples, like just high-biving each other constantly.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: We don't even have weights or like squat racks in our gyms.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: We just have stacks, stacks of logs.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, oh, you're gonna look good out on the ice there.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's right.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's what it is.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna be a real banger on the hockey rink this year, hey?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then you can't say banger on the hockey rink in the same year that heated rivalry came out, all right?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: You can't do it.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Amber was exactly that one's for you, Amber.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: That was for Amber.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then it curves we just have smaller logs.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: So we have smaller locks, fewer axes, fewer.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we don't, you know, calm yourself.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um what was the question?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: What are we talking about?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: The question is what is your greatest professional?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, my greatest.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I think the way to answer this is in different chapters of my life.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like the same thing I was a, you know, I was afraid of something very different in the years I was performing that doesn't apply to my life now.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the things that I think that I was afraid of professionally when I was doing like all of my musical training was absolutely blank and out on stage.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in the middle of a 35-page piece of music by memory with repeated sections within, and I'm blanking out, and it only happened once, and that was terrifying because I'm the only one on stage with like a nine-foot concert grand piano.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's just me on stage with the piano, a full audience, and I am performing a piece by Bach by memory, a 35-page piece by memory?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sure.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, you know, sure.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's back when my brain had way less gray matter than it does now.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's not one piece, that's probably a piece with like three or four movements to it.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not like you hear yourself.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: No, but you know what?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks to our thanks to our friendship, I hear myself now more than I ever have heard myself ever in the past.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: And just knowing that you're having kind of a day today, I'm just gonna let you go.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not even you just get it out.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: I know this is my gift to you in just the day that you're having.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: I just want you to do what you gotta do.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: I thank you.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're welcome.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm in the middle of this piece, and at this point, so much of it is muscle memory, right?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: You're just going on, you're you're still listening, you're checking in.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: But then I realized I had looped a section twice.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then I realized that, and I'm like, and then nobody fucking noticed because it was classical music.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, everyone there knows what they're listening to.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, classical music elitism could blow the roof off a building.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: That roof would have been gone.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like the second I played three notes.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: I was looping.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: And the problem is I was then like, I don't know how to get out of here.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know how to get myself back because I have to get through the section again.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like if you were driving on a roundabout and and forgot that you had to get off at some point and just kept going on the roundabout.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, rune to boot.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: With with 200 people watching.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 200 people watching you navigate the round the room to boot.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I think I'm a little hazy on this, but I think at one point I literally just got to the end of a phrase and just hit a chord.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Ta-da! And got up, stood beside the piano, bowed, and walked off the stage.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: So that's pretty terrifying.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, that was pretty scary.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: And once it happens once, you know it can happen again.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like any moment of fear in your life, once you've learned that it can happen, then you're like, oh, this is actually a thing that can happen again.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so that kind of unnerved me.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: In my teaching days, something that really scared me was physical violence in my classroom.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like that actually really bothered me.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: If a kid if kids were having a fight in the parking lot or the the yard, I well, it bothered me, but it was I was separate from it.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: But if kids started throwing punches in my room, I always got really nervous because I never really knew what to do.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like we were always told, don't get in the middle of it, obviously.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: But some teachers did.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like some teachers would try and pull kids off each other.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I was always like, But I'm what if I get punched in the face?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, like thinking of these things.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: I had a kid in my second year of teaching launch a desk across the classroom.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I was very calm in that moment.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just kind of he left the room, and I just then closed the door behind him and walked back up to the front and kept teaching, cramming those, cramming those verbs down kids' throats, is what I did.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was French.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: I would, and you know what?
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: Zoot already.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: You probably wasn't the only kid who wanted to throw something in the room, if I'm being honest.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: In music class, if there had been a fight breaking out, what would have kept you from forming a circle of drums and then having the kids do like an aggressive beat, like to like to sort of heighten the tension?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what would have well probably um like moral decency because I feel like that would be probably probably I feel like that would be appropriating some culture that I didn't have authority to tap into.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think Mortal Kombat is a culture.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: It is to those of us who play it.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're right.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: What would have stopped me?
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: Drum availability.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like funds were tight, man.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: I only had a couple in the room.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Now, uh professionally, what would now doing what I do, what would freak me out?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just doing social media management.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: I would say you're not very much professionally scares me now.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: I have a constant fear, and you told me not to get existential, but that's like telling the sky not to be blue, because basically you're telling me to turn off my most defining features really.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I always have a fear of being misunderstood.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: And right.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so I overexplain a lot, as I'm sure I do with you, but I probably do it less with you, but with other clients, I might explain myself because I want them to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing so that ultimately they don't think I'm ripping them off.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: Or doing it to control them.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, of course.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: No, I was just trying to misunderstand you.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: I was like trying to provide a real.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: No, so okay, so then okay, you're helping me figure this out though, because then I think it's nope, thanks hasn't come yet.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: Went not my tempo, not quite my tempo.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think if they get heated or if they get panicked, I don't want to get caught up in their panic, but I want them to trust me.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so I I will over-explain, or if I say something wrong, or if something comes across wrong, or incorrectly, or not with the same tone that I wanted, because all the communication I do is also digital.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: So think about anytime you're texting someone or messaging, like you just never capture the tone.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I I don't get worried about the quality of my work.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: I worry that something gets lost in translation.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then I worry my reputation will go to rot and everyone will hate me and I will be of value to nobody.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: And you think that'll be a precipitating event rather than just something that has always existed.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Hey now.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're an all-star.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, you're right.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: No, you're right.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're right.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: I said you had free reign today to feel all your feels.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: You did tell me you get spicy when you're having an off day.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: So just just feel feel it out, man.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Feel it out.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: Well, let me here's a story that I still have nightmares about that you can make fun of me if for if you want to, which is that in college I was cast late in a play.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: The most of the rehearsals are already gone, and with two and a half weeks left to go, one of the lead actors became incapacitated and had to bow out.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so they needed somebody to play this part, and it was one of the leads.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it was a Brecht play.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know if you're familiar with Brecht.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Bert Brecht.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, love is stuff.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: Love, love, love it.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: But it is long and it is wordy.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so I had two and a half weeks to drill the shit out of this fucking play and learn this enormous part, right?
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: The play was long and it was heavily redacted.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: Even heavily redacted, it was long, right?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so I drilled and drilled and drilled and, you know, got help from people to learn the lines, and I just pulled it together and I did a good job, and I'm very happy with it.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: And then on the last day of the performance, we get done with everything.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're having that big rush that you have when you get done with the performance.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I go down into the dressing room to get my costume off, and a phrase, a line, enters my head.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I haven't I haven't said that line in a long time.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know this exact kind of thought.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're like just that feeling where you're like, wait a minute.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: What was what was that line?
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I go to my little area and I grab my play and I start flipping through it and I find the line.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I had been skipping like more than a page of lines, like for the whole run of the play.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like I had just at some point had just stopped saying this line and nobody had caught it.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: And like we were skipping a page.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: And the good news is the play was long enough that it didn't make any difference.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't like we were missing a major plot point, but like it was one of those things where, like, oh, I did great.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I still have nightmares about that.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: Where I realize I have skipped something very important in a play after the fact.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: It was one of the worst feelings I can think of.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and it's it's terrible because part of what makes that so uncomfortable is that you know that others knew and you never knew.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: There were other people that- You don't know.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: You don't think so?
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: No, because there would be no reason for them not to say anything about it.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: Well, there was some was there not a director or a oh uh that's a great story for a different program.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: The director was the worst human being I've ever met in my whole life.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: The director was barned on the worst human being I've ever met in my whole life.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I've met some real pieces of work.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't say this, but the reason that I got the part in part was because the director was such a scumbag that the actor before me, and this wasn't the total reason for it, but it was contributed, had a nervous breakdown.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: The director, and again, like there were a lot of contributing factors to that.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: There are plenty of things.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we should do a series of episodes on this guy.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, no, there was a director nominally, but I don't know that I'd call him a driving force in the quality.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: He taught me an acting class.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't mean to meander too much, but he said, he said, I'm sick and tired of people not taking accountability for things.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: You need to be accountable for everything in your life.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: If you live in Kansas and a tornado tears down your house, this is a quote.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: If you live in Kansas and a tornado tears down your house, that's your fault.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: You chose to live in Kansas.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then flash forward three months and he's in this play saying, I'm not complaining to you all about how my mom just died.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, you sounds like you're kind of complaining about it.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds like you're gonna complain it.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: And like he was just, he was, he was so angry at everything, and it was like all these bad things that happened to him, and I just thought, wow, you are a prick.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but at least he was in charge of a whole bunch of young people.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know what?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's the only redeeming part of the story, I think, is that he was in close proximity to impressionable, uh, impressionable youth.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we we could do a multi-partner in him.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: But I have I have taken it so far off track.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: But Evelyn, I appreciate your input.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate your vulnerability in sharing your your worst fears.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't even know.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure other ones will do you want to hear okay, let me tell you one of my worst fears that I don't think will ever come true.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: But apparently, this is a fear that other people have also had.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe I should say more of a nightmare, but it still in real life would be terrible.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: But this is apparently a very common nightmare of not only are you finding yourself in a room with hundreds of toilets, but the toilets are not working.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: The walls between the toilets are only like halfway up, so you could still see each other, everything's overflowing, the tiles wet.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the toilets are like, you know, your knees would be touching the other person, they're so close.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I'm talking about?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like these, like this.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: You really don't?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like you've never had a nightmare like this because this is something I've seen, I've dreamt of many times.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I have seen this on the internet that this is something like people are creating AI images of this to be like, oh my gosh, have you guys ever had a dream like this?
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I have.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's so weird, and it turns out hundreds of thousands of other people have too.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: I you can leave this in the podcast, or you can not leave this in the podcast.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're not well.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: I will leave that in the podcast.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: You sick.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: No, I haven't had that joke, but I have weird bathroom nightmares.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: I thought I would just take a you were ready for it.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: You saw that, you saw that shot on goal from all the way across the ring.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: I did.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: I did.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I'm not even gonna try and block the puck.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is just gonna I'm just gonna stand here and let it hit me in the front teeth.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: No, uh and it's just it's such constant anxiety, such anxiety.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, which I know it wouldn't happen, like if I even saw a room with a bunch of broken down toilets in it that were not working, I would not be going into that room.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: But it's instant red flag, instant red flag.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's I mean, that's a fear I have that I am so shocked so many other people have also had that.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's the thing I've never explained what it looks like in great detail, but I saw images online that I was like, that's really close to what I've seen.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: So then it makes me think broken down toilets on TikTok.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh overflowing broken down toilets.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that back room liminal space kind of vibe that I'm like, why did so many of us picture this same thing?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: Young would say it's an archetype.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to say that out there, somewhere on the internet, there's somebody who was like, I just had the most amazing dream last night.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: And and then people are like, Yeah, that's a nightmare.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: Did I say amazing?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: I meant it was a nightmare.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: I meant it was really bad.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't a rousing ending extreme for me.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's a bad, it's a bad dream.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: But tell me about yours, because yours sounds really bad too.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: You mean there's hundreds of other people making images of this on the internet?
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I better check it out.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: It'll probably be therapeutic for me.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I didn't I came across wrong there.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: I what I meant to say was that I'm so terrified of it, I'm not gonna sleep again ever.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not um, I'm not buying melatonin right now to try to induce sleep.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I can return to my to my slumber paradise.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, gosh, it's never my slumber.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: The person's doing EMDR and the therapist is like, uh, so tell me about your calm place.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: And the person's like, okay, so imagine this.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: Poor lighting, cold, wet tile, flickering fluorescent light, my knees are touching other people's knees, the stench of waste, and the therapist is like, this is where you're regulated.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm sorry.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm sorry.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: I thought you meant nightmare place.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: My place is is this is a beach with no toilets.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: With no with no toilets and chip tile, no visible toilets.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: And mildew.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: No, definitely no mildew.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, I can't smell anything.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: All right, that's the ending that I was looking for.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: Folks, thank you for tuning into the reverse jackass podcast.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: We love you.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna say this because other people say it, and I want it.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to like and subscribe.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to tell other people about it.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: You can you can hate us and subscribe, too.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to hate and subscribe.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to tell people this is the worst thing you've ever heard.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to have a real opinion about it, and I want you to share that opinion, whatever it is.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and then and I'll love you either way.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: I will too.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and Evelyn will too.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: I know that the Blade is an aggressive sounding nickname, but she couldn't be nicer.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um she should be called Evelyn, the unconditional positive Canadian regard.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's a bit of a mouthful, though, but yeah, so we go with Blade.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: But Evelyn the Canadian mouthful is also not a good name, so Evelyn the Canadian mouthful.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: Holy shit! Why do you do this to yourself?
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: All right, I'm gonna go have an argument about whether that's Evelyn's new nickname for the rest of the podcast.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: You all be well.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: We love you.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: Some neighbors are besties.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: Others quarrel bitterly.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: Stuck together through geography.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: One of us has nukes, and the other has tokes.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's American Canadian diplomacy.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's reversed.