Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 487. What to know when entering your 30's Part 2

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487. What to know when entering your 30's Part 2 · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:13
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful bands, and welcome to the podcast episode of today.
0:17
Speaker 1: It's been a saga to get here, a saga because
0:21
Speaker 1: I tried recording this yesterday and I record my podcast
0:24
Speaker 1: from home. There's many many joys and sunshine and rainbows
0:28
Speaker 1: that come from that, and also many frustrating moments, like
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Speaker 1: the forty five thousand helicopters that decided to circle my
0:34
Speaker 1: apartment NonStop for like forty five thousand hours, so I
0:40
Speaker 1: had to stop recording, and we're doing another attempt at this.
0:43
Speaker 1: But this is part two of the Monday episode that
0:46
Speaker 1: you listened to last Monday, and this is all about
0:48
Speaker 1: what to know when you're entering your thirties, the kind
0:51
Speaker 1: of headspace you want to get into, things you've learned
0:54
Speaker 1: from your twenties, and how you can translate that into
0:56
Speaker 1: something that's going to be useful and actable in your thirties.
1:01
Speaker 1: How you can enter your thirties genuinely being excited for
1:05
Speaker 1: it to be the best decade. Yet. We're not trying
1:09
Speaker 1: to relive the twenties. We're growing from the twenties and
1:12
Speaker 1: experiencing new and more exciting things as we kind of
1:17
Speaker 1: progress to the next chapter. Okay, I'm going to be
1:19
Speaker 1: talking a lot about that. I'm going to get you
1:22
Speaker 1: in the headspace of thinking that you know, you know
1:26
Speaker 1: so many people that wrote to me because I did
1:28
Speaker 1: put that question box up, and so many people saying,
1:30
Speaker 1: I just feel like the good days are done, or
1:33
Speaker 1: the really fun, care free glory days, if the twenties
1:35
Speaker 1: are over, and it just feels like it's a bit
1:37
Speaker 1: of a slog now and all that. We're going to
1:38
Speaker 1: get out of that headspace altogether. And by the end
1:40
Speaker 1: of this episode, I've got all these prompts for you,
1:44
Speaker 1: kind of like journal prompts or questions to ask yourself,
1:46
Speaker 1: kind of thing that you can write down or just
1:48
Speaker 1: answer in your head. But once we get through all
1:50
Speaker 1: of that, I hope you are feeling really pumped and
1:52
Speaker 1: excited for this new era of your life. Okay. Also,
1:55
Speaker 1: if you hear like soft whining, that's how bit of
1:58
Speaker 1: just just choosing to have a meltdown in my office
2:01
Speaker 1: even though he insists to come in and then when
2:04
Speaker 1: I let him in here then cries because he wants
2:05
Speaker 1: to go out. Okay, Okay, So last week, obviously part one,
2:09
Speaker 1: we did the first four themes that I'm talking about
2:11
Speaker 1: and this week we're going to do the next three
2:13
Speaker 1: and then all those prompts that I was talking about.
2:15
Speaker 1: So we've got theme five, which is identity and self relationship,
2:18
Speaker 1: Theme six your Body, your Energy, your health, and Theme
2:22
Speaker 1: seven the new rhythms of life. So things that you're
2:24
Speaker 1: stepping into, whether it be I'm starting a family, I've
2:26
Speaker 1: got a mortgage or investments, or you know, more intense careers, children, marriage, whatever. Okay,
2:34
Speaker 1: so let's start with theme five. Now, this is identity
2:38
Speaker 1: and self reflection. This is who you are becoming internally
2:41
Speaker 1: in this new stage of your life. Now, the kind
2:44
Speaker 1: of questions that I got for theme five, I'm going
2:49
Speaker 1: to kind of rattle a bunch of them out that
2:52
Speaker 1: you guys sent to me. There were a lot of repeats,
2:54
Speaker 1: a lot of people in the same boat. So this
2:56
Speaker 1: is where you are grieving your twenties, wishing that you
3:01
Speaker 1: explored more in your twenties, how you have confidence and
3:04
Speaker 1: direction in your thirties when you are already feeling left behind.
3:08
Speaker 1: We spoke a bit about that timeline thing last week,
3:11
Speaker 1: self care in your thirties, what your priorities should be,
3:14
Speaker 1: how you should be feeling in your thirties, because you
3:17
Speaker 1: want to look at your thirties as the time in
3:19
Speaker 1: your life where the identity begins to shift, okay, from
3:22
Speaker 1: this external validation to feeling more aligned internally in your life. Okay,
3:27
Speaker 1: this is where you're really beginning to develop that relationship
3:30
Speaker 1: with yourself. For me, I like to think that I
3:33
Speaker 1: had a good relationship with myself in my twenties, and
3:35
Speaker 1: it was fine, it was decent, it was sound. It
3:38
Speaker 1: was sort of like learning curves in my life. But
3:41
Speaker 1: I can say for sure I didn't actively work on
3:44
Speaker 1: it and get much better at it until I entered
3:46
Speaker 1: my thirties. Okay, Now this is really important. When we
3:51
Speaker 1: look at all the themes, this one is who do
3:53
Speaker 1: you want to become? Internally? And I think the most
3:57
Speaker 1: important question to ask yourself is what am my priorities now?
4:00
Speaker 1: This has to be a really conscious question that you
4:04
Speaker 1: ask yourself. If you don't ask yourself this question, you're
4:07
Speaker 1: just going to be repeating more of the same from
4:09
Speaker 1: your twenties. What are my priorities now? And I think,
4:13
Speaker 1: based on my personal experiences and based on many people
4:16
Speaker 1: that I know in their thirties, and also you guys
4:19
Speaker 1: who have written in one of the biggest shifts that
4:22
Speaker 1: we have as humans from our twenties to our thirties
4:24
Speaker 1: is the desire to prioritize peace of mind. So I
4:28
Speaker 1: think it's really healthy for you to also make that determination,
4:32
Speaker 1: make it very clear, and say this is going to
4:35
Speaker 1: be my priority moving forward. I need to focus on
4:37
Speaker 1: peace of mind. But what does peace of mind look like?
4:39
Speaker 1: It is not wanting to be involved in unnecessary drama. Now,
4:44
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about the fun venting or the little
4:46
Speaker 1: gossip here and there. I'm not talking about that. Why
4:48
Speaker 1: I'm not a saint. We all double a little bit
4:50
Speaker 1: here and there into feeling this way. But I'm talking
4:54
Speaker 1: about actual drama where you're hanging out, maybe with a
4:57
Speaker 1: friendship group that all they want to do is backstub
4:59
Speaker 1: each other. All they want to do is have one
5:01
Speaker 1: person who's more important than the other and leaving someone
5:03
Speaker 1: left out and pushed out. Marital dramas, you know, family
5:08
Speaker 1: situations where every time you go there you feel so
5:11
Speaker 1: stressed and overwhelmed and you don't feel remotely good about
5:14
Speaker 1: yourself every time you leave workplace environment. That's the kind
5:17
Speaker 1: of peace of mind that I'm talking about, you know,
5:19
Speaker 1: not having so much on your plate. Kind of trying
5:22
Speaker 1: to say, if you know that peace of mind is
5:24
Speaker 1: your priority, and it's something that you can actually name
5:28
Speaker 1: and know what that looks like, then it's something that
5:30
Speaker 1: you can really work towards. And I think the reason
5:32
Speaker 1: why peace of mind really becomes a priority later in
5:35
Speaker 1: your well in your life thirties more so than your
5:37
Speaker 1: twenties or forties. Probably by the time I'm sixty, my
5:40
Speaker 1: version of peace of mind will be so elite versus
5:42
Speaker 1: what it is now. But it is because of lived experience.
5:46
Speaker 1: I don't think I could have this realization in my
5:50
Speaker 1: early twenties because I haven't had that lived experience, And
5:53
Speaker 1: like I said, it will only get better as I
5:55
Speaker 1: get older. But it is valuing what is important versus
6:01
Speaker 1: what is a waste of time? What relationships do I know,
6:05
Speaker 1: based on experience, is going to waste my time and
6:08
Speaker 1: wear me the fuck down? What jobs even though I
6:12
Speaker 1: know maybe there's good points to it or good parts
6:14
Speaker 1: do it to it, does it ultimately wear me down? Now,
6:17
Speaker 1: there's a difference between peace of mind, you know, and
6:21
Speaker 1: trying to protect your peace of mind and also allowing
6:25
Speaker 1: yourself to have to be and exist in high stress environments,
6:28
Speaker 1: but still have that peace of mind. I don't want
6:30
Speaker 1: you to think, oh, anything that causes me stress, get
6:32
Speaker 1: away from, get away from. We're not precious. This isn't
6:34
Speaker 1: about becoming precious. This is about what is going to
6:38
Speaker 1: wear me down and wear me down emotionally versus what
6:42
Speaker 1: is hard work that I can face, that I can
6:44
Speaker 1: really work through and become better for it. There are
6:48
Speaker 1: certain things in my life that are high stress, but
6:50
Speaker 1: they're not emotionally draining. They don't beat me down into
6:54
Speaker 1: this nub of my former self. Okay, that's the difference. Okay,
7:00
Speaker 1: hard work, needing grit, tenacity, being put under pressure, working
7:04
Speaker 1: under pressure. There is nothing wrong with that, and I'm
7:06
Speaker 1: not saying running away from that, but we have to
7:09
Speaker 1: know the difference, and that, in my opinion, is where
7:12
Speaker 1: peace of mind comes from, and it comes from ultimately,
7:15
Speaker 1: how you feel as an individual when no one else
7:18
Speaker 1: is around. How are you validating yourself? When you start
7:24
Speaker 1: to realize what's important and what's not important, you start
7:28
Speaker 1: to learn how to begin to validate yourself. It's very
7:31
Speaker 1: easy to get caught up in the bullshit. If that
7:34
Speaker 1: is what is in your awareness twenty or seven. If
7:37
Speaker 1: you're always let's say you're stuck in this friendship group
7:39
Speaker 1: for an example, and you're going round around around it.
7:42
Speaker 1: The dramas that exist in that friendship group can same
7:44
Speaker 1: life or death. And I'm not trying to be dramatic,
7:46
Speaker 1: but it can. It can seem like, oh my god,
7:49
Speaker 1: if they don't accept me or if they I'll die,
7:52
Speaker 1: I'll die, I'll die. So I have to put up
7:53
Speaker 1: with this crazy bitchiness and drama. And they didn't talk
7:56
Speaker 1: to me and they didn't mess and it consumes your life.
8:00
Speaker 1: But if you were to zoom all the way out,
8:02
Speaker 1: and if you were to maybe get a job offer
8:04
Speaker 1: in a completely different country or city, a move, and
8:06
Speaker 1: then you have all these experiences that expanded you. Were
8:09
Speaker 1: you looked back at that really toxic friendship circle, you'd laugh.
8:13
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, you would laugh because you'd be like, Wow,
8:16
Speaker 1: perspective is everything. And I was telling myself that that's
8:20
Speaker 1: what mattered, and that's where what I was worth. Where
8:24
Speaker 1: my time, my energy, my emotions, everything was being funneled
8:27
Speaker 1: into this kind of drama. Now I realized that nothing
8:30
Speaker 1: is worth more than my peace of mind. So now
8:32
Speaker 1: that I've zoomed out. I realized that I'd actually rather
8:35
Speaker 1: be alone than entertain this shit. Okay, And you can
8:39
Speaker 1: apply that to so many areas of your life. And
8:41
Speaker 1: it comes from wisdom. Okay, it comes from wisdom. So
8:45
Speaker 1: I don't want you thinking, oh my god, I should
8:46
Speaker 1: have done this when I was so much younger. We
8:48
Speaker 1: all should have, we all should have, but we didn't
8:50
Speaker 1: have that insight. We didn't have that. I finally got
8:54
Speaker 1: so sick of it. I've had it up to here.
8:55
Speaker 1: And if you're watching the video version of this on YouTube,
8:57
Speaker 1: my hand is waving above my Eyebrother've fucking up to
9:00
Speaker 1: here with this shit. I'm done. Okay. That is peace
9:04
Speaker 1: of mind. And when we talk about identity and self relationship,
9:08
Speaker 1: what am I going to prioritize? So separate to peace
9:10
Speaker 1: of mind, which I hope every single one of you
9:12
Speaker 1: guys listening puts that one number one on your list.
9:14
Speaker 1: You don't have to, but that's my desire for your
9:17
Speaker 1: life moving forward. But separate to that, what's other priorities?
9:20
Speaker 1: And again, look at your twenties. You could be if
9:22
Speaker 1: someone said wishing I had explored more in my twenties, perfect,
9:26
Speaker 1: So you could say, I'm telling myself that I can't
9:28
Speaker 1: do that in my thirties because I need to be
9:30
Speaker 1: more responsible. You can still have adventure and exploration in
9:34
Speaker 1: your life in your thirties. It might look a bit different,
9:37
Speaker 1: but I believe that there's always a need for us
9:41
Speaker 1: for the rest of our lives to have a little
9:43
Speaker 1: bit of adventure in our lives. It can't just be
9:46
Speaker 1: all habits, all structure, all monotony. We need a balance
9:50
Speaker 1: of both. When we have good, for example, good habits
9:53
Speaker 1: and good structure and good routines in our life that
9:56
Speaker 1: make us feel stable, it allows us to have more
9:59
Speaker 1: flexibility to be adventurous, okay, and both feed into themselves
10:03
Speaker 1: quite nicely when you have a balance of the two.
10:06
Speaker 1: If you have no adventure, you resent your routines and
10:08
Speaker 1: you resent your habits and your structure. If you have
10:11
Speaker 1: all adventure, you feel very unstable and you feel like
10:15
Speaker 1: you're being left behind and you not here nor there
10:17
Speaker 1: because there's zero stability in your life. So we need
10:20
Speaker 1: to strike a balance with both. So if you're saying, oh,
10:22
Speaker 1: I should have done more of this exploration in my twenties,
10:25
Speaker 1: you're always gonna want to have a bit of an
10:26
Speaker 1: adventure in your life. But what does adventure look like
10:29
Speaker 1: for you? I know, for me what I've found fun
10:32
Speaker 1: and adventurous. Back in the day, I wouldn't find fun now.
10:36
Speaker 1: I used to thrive, guys, I loved. I loved working
10:40
Speaker 1: behind a bar until six am. When I was eighteen,
10:43
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll never want to quit this job.
10:45
Speaker 1: It's the fucking best fucking thing in the world, Like
10:47
Speaker 1: borderline hearing loss. When I'd be walking home, the birds
10:50
Speaker 1: would be tweeting, people would be going on their morning runs,
10:52
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is fucking unreal. Now I'm like,
10:54
Speaker 1: can't think of anything worse, cannot think of anything worse.
10:56
Speaker 1: But I love for me that I loved that back then.
11:00
Speaker 1: You know that's great, But I don't look at that
11:02
Speaker 1: as fun adventure for me now. You know. So it
11:06
Speaker 1: will evolve as you go, but I think you should
11:08
Speaker 1: still say to yourself, Okay, I want adventure. What does
11:10
Speaker 1: that look like for me now? Could it be just
11:12
Speaker 1: trying new hobbies. Could it be planning three getaways a year,
11:16
Speaker 1: whatever it is, whatever it fits within your lifestyle, your
11:19
Speaker 1: desires and you know your budget. You have to kind
11:23
Speaker 1: of explore and look into just because you have responsibilities.
11:25
Speaker 1: You might have kids now, you might have a mortgage.
11:27
Speaker 1: Just because you have these things, it doesn't mean that
11:29
Speaker 1: adventure has gone out the window. You still need to
11:32
Speaker 1: tap into that need of yours because if you were
11:34
Speaker 1: banned and that need and say, well, the time is
11:36
Speaker 1: gone now, it's only when I was twenty one, then
11:39
Speaker 1: you're going to always be living in the past. You
11:42
Speaker 1: have to say, what does it look like for me now?
11:44
Speaker 1: And it could be something like maybe you've always been
11:47
Speaker 1: someone who wore relatively conservative things and your version of
11:50
Speaker 1: adventure out is I'm going to redo my entire personal style.
11:54
Speaker 1: I'm going to finally start wearing the shit that I
11:56
Speaker 1: think looks really awesome, but I have always been too timid
11:58
Speaker 1: to wear that. And that could be how you our adventures.
12:01
Speaker 1: You could start an anonymous blog and that's your adventure.
12:04
Speaker 1: You could start whatever the fuck it is. But I'm
12:06
Speaker 1: saying adventure is always a need and we have to
12:09
Speaker 1: figure out what that need is for us and feed it. Okay,
12:13
Speaker 1: So that's another priority. Clarity is also a huge one.
12:17
Speaker 1: This is the and then the rest. You can kind
12:19
Speaker 1: of brainstorm on your own, but these are the three
12:21
Speaker 1: that I wanted to give you as an idea clarity
12:24
Speaker 1: when I, you know, had heartbreaks or quote unquote failures
12:29
Speaker 1: or rejections or being abandoned and all of that stuff.
12:32
Speaker 1: The thing that it gave me ultimately, after wasting a
12:34
Speaker 1: lot of time and emotions, you know, hoping that things
12:37
Speaker 1: will go back and author you gave me clarity. Then
12:40
Speaker 1: I started to realize the amount of time in my
12:42
Speaker 1: life that I've wasted, literally wasted hoping for someone who
12:47
Speaker 1: I knew wasn't into me, knew wasn't right for me,
12:49
Speaker 1: or a career that I knew wasn't gonna be it
12:52
Speaker 1: for me, instead of just being like, instead of hoping
12:55
Speaker 1: and avoiding the real answer, I need clarity because clarity
13:02
Speaker 1: might give you the heartbreak. And what I mean by that,
13:04
Speaker 1: Let's say you're in a situation ship and you're so
13:06
Speaker 1: head over heals this person, but you're not getting the
13:09
Speaker 1: clear answers from them, And the reason you don't want
13:11
Speaker 1: to confront them about getting clear answers because you're scared
13:14
Speaker 1: for them to say, you know what, I actually don't
13:16
Speaker 1: like you back in that way. I don't want to
13:18
Speaker 1: be in a committed relationship with you so what do
13:19
Speaker 1: you do. You avoid the difficult conversation so you can
13:22
Speaker 1: have the crumbs that they're giving you. You can have
13:24
Speaker 1: the little dregs of the pockets of time in their
13:26
Speaker 1: week that they can be bothered to give to you,
13:28
Speaker 1: and you'll put up with that for god knows how long.
13:31
Speaker 1: When you prioritize clarity, you think, no matter how painful
13:34
Speaker 1: this conversation is going to be, nothing is more important
13:37
Speaker 1: than my time. Nothing, because it's the one resource you
13:40
Speaker 1: can never get back no matter what you do. So
13:42
Speaker 1: you think clarity is everything. If it means a rejection,
13:46
Speaker 1: but saving my ass some fucking time, I'm going for clarity.
13:50
Speaker 1: If it means having that really awkward conversation with my
13:53
Speaker 1: boss and maybe potentially going down a different career path,
13:57
Speaker 1: I'm going to prioritize that because it's clarity. And the
13:59
Speaker 1: more clarity you get in your life, the more you
14:01
Speaker 1: seek out just an answer, even if it's the one
14:03
Speaker 1: you don't want to hear. You strengthen your relationship with yourself,
14:07
Speaker 1: become more confident, you realize it, you don't crumble when
14:09
Speaker 1: something doesn't go the way you want it to go.
14:11
Speaker 1: You become more resilient, and then you like yourself more.
14:14
Speaker 1: When you see yourself go through something hard and come
14:16
Speaker 1: out the other end, you like yourself more as a person,
14:19
Speaker 1: and then you're more likely to be daring and do
14:22
Speaker 1: harder things because you know you can always rebuild even
14:25
Speaker 1: if it doesn't work out. Okay, so those are the
14:28
Speaker 1: three things that I recommend that you do. Now let's
14:31
Speaker 1: move into theme number six. This is your body, your energy,
14:34
Speaker 1: your health, all of the above. Okay, the questions that
14:37
Speaker 1: a lot of people ask this is kind of roughly
14:40
Speaker 1: what they were body image compared to when you were
14:43
Speaker 1: in your twenties, balancing health with fun, prioritizing health and
14:47
Speaker 1: workouts once you've had a family, brain exercises, and what
14:51
Speaker 1: we should be doing in our thirties, maintaining health while
14:55
Speaker 1: managing your life. And then a big one was coping
14:58
Speaker 1: with appearance change. Okay, Now, there was a lot of
15:01
Speaker 1: questions around this idea of your appearance changing, and obviously
15:04
Speaker 1: for some people. I know a lot of people that
15:07
Speaker 1: are like, I'm the hottest I've ever been in my
15:08
Speaker 1: fucking thirties, and some people are like, I'm starting to
15:10
Speaker 1: notice some changes. But the reason I want to address
15:13
Speaker 1: this is because I don't think your thirties are old
15:14
Speaker 1: at fucking all. But I want to address this because eventually,
15:19
Speaker 1: if not in your thirties or forties, maybe in your
15:21
Speaker 1: fifties or sixties, Eventually you are going to start to
15:23
Speaker 1: age right, and how we're getting into the correct mindset
15:27
Speaker 1: around really really liking ourselves separate to what our physical
15:32
Speaker 1: appearance has to offer. And I think it always comes
15:36
Speaker 1: down to this is a topic that I really banged
15:38
Speaker 1: on hard when I first launched the podcast, and I
15:40
Speaker 1: want to continue driving this point home. But we really
15:45
Speaker 1: have to look at what is it that we have earned. Okay,
15:49
Speaker 1: when you have earned things, you are able to lean
15:53
Speaker 1: on that for your validation. So, for example, if you
15:56
Speaker 1: are a really good fucking friend and a really good
16:00
Speaker 1: partner or parent or sibling or son or daughter, you've
16:06
Speaker 1: worked hard to foster these relationships. You've earned these relationships
16:09
Speaker 1: that no matter what the fuck you look like, those
16:12
Speaker 1: relationships are fucking solid. Right. People want to be around
16:14
Speaker 1: you because you're just a good fucking vibe. But you're
16:16
Speaker 1: a good person. You're not only there for them in
16:18
Speaker 1: the hard times, but you also celebrate the wins in
16:21
Speaker 1: the good times. You've earned that. Right. Now, let's look
16:23
Speaker 1: at other things you've earned. I look at education as
16:25
Speaker 1: a huge one. What can you educate yourself on. I'm
16:28
Speaker 1: not talking about tertiary education, where it can be that.
16:30
Speaker 1: I'm talking about what can you get good at? What
16:33
Speaker 1: can you hone in on your craft that you cannot buy,
16:37
Speaker 1: borrow or steal. Right, those are the things that the
16:41
Speaker 1: more you whenever you look at how can improve my life?
16:44
Speaker 1: Think what's something that I can do that I cannot buy,
16:46
Speaker 1: borrow or steal. It has to be earned. Okay. This
16:49
Speaker 1: is why working out in physical exercise is so good mentally,
16:53
Speaker 1: because aesthetics aside. If I was to run a half marathon,
16:57
Speaker 1: the only way to get there is through hard work.
16:59
Speaker 1: It's through effort, consistent effort, and showing up again and
17:01
Speaker 1: again and again and again and again. So I've earnted it, right,
17:05
Speaker 1: There's no other fucking way I can get there with
17:08
Speaker 1: physical appearance. I can buy it. I can, you know,
17:12
Speaker 1: pay for certain things that are going to make me
17:14
Speaker 1: look better, which is fine, I'm all for that. God
17:16
Speaker 1: for gold, I will actually not since before I was pregnant,
17:19
Speaker 1: but I you know, would get botox here and there,
17:22
Speaker 1: it's I'm like, fucking go nuts if that's what you want,
17:25
Speaker 1: but that's not where you're getting your value from. That's
17:27
Speaker 1: the important thing. If you want to do it because
17:29
Speaker 1: you're like I do want to look nice. I like
17:31
Speaker 1: looking a certain way. I enjoy this aesthetic. Do it.
17:34
Speaker 1: But when it comes down to how do I feel
17:37
Speaker 1: about myself when no one else is around? I hope
17:41
Speaker 1: that you're able to be like I've earned being a
17:43
Speaker 1: good person in this world. I feel like I've earned
17:46
Speaker 1: these things. I have shown up for myself. I like
17:49
Speaker 1: my own company when I'm alone. No matter how fucking
17:53
Speaker 1: hot you are, that's not going to influence you liking
17:55
Speaker 1: your company when you're alone. So when we start looking
17:58
Speaker 1: at coping with appearance changes, the more you like who
18:00
Speaker 1: you are, the appearance change is not going to be
18:05
Speaker 1: so painful. Okay, you might say, oh god, yeah, like okay,
18:10
Speaker 1: I'm you know, looking this way. I preferred how I
18:12
Speaker 1: looked when I was younger. But it's not going to
18:14
Speaker 1: be the be all end all. It's not going to
18:16
Speaker 1: make you feel bad about who you are or really
18:19
Speaker 1: upset about you know. You're going to be like, well,
18:21
Speaker 1: it's aging, and it is a privilege to age, by
18:23
Speaker 1: the way, Well, I don't know if it's a privilege.
18:25
Speaker 1: Like I could do a whole episode on the word privilege,
18:27
Speaker 1: to be honest, a whole fucking episode, because I feel
18:30
Speaker 1: like the word privilege is thrown around so much more
18:33
Speaker 1: than what the actual meaning of the word is. Privilege
18:35
Speaker 1: is like an advantage over others. And I don't like
18:38
Speaker 1: it when people use the word privilege for something that
18:40
Speaker 1: all people should be entitled to have. Okay, Like when
18:43
Speaker 1: you look at a mother who's had kids, who has
18:46
Speaker 1: meant like, sound mental health, and they're like, well, your privilege.
18:49
Speaker 1: Is it a privilege for a mother to have sound
18:51
Speaker 1: mental health? Or should that be the fucking Norman? Should
18:53
Speaker 1: society step up? That's what I'm talking about. Okay, Anyway,
18:56
Speaker 1: this is a rant about the word privilege. So I
18:58
Speaker 1: don't think aging is technically a privilege, because we all
19:00
Speaker 1: should be granted that we all should be able to age.
19:03
Speaker 1: But it's a beautiful thing to be able to live
19:06
Speaker 1: a long life, is what I'm trying to say. So
19:08
Speaker 1: we need to celebrate that. We need to look at
19:11
Speaker 1: the fact that other people don't get that opportunity. And
19:14
Speaker 1: so when you have it, and when you're able to
19:15
Speaker 1: do it, to really make the most of it and
19:17
Speaker 1: not be thinking, oh but i've got this wrinkle here,
19:19
Speaker 1: I've got more lines in my face when there's so
19:21
Speaker 1: much more you can be doing with your time, so
19:22
Speaker 1: much like fun shit, where you could be out there
19:24
Speaker 1: actually earning more of an education, or more great relationships,
19:27
Speaker 1: or you know, learning to fucking swim that one kilometer
19:30
Speaker 1: or the half marathon. This is why I always always
19:34
Speaker 1: encourage people to do something physical, because when you train
19:37
Speaker 1: the body, it becomes easier to train the mind. Okay,
19:40
Speaker 1: so another thing I wanted to talk about about body
19:43
Speaker 1: energy and health. Brain exercises start yesterday. Always do things
19:47
Speaker 1: for your brain. And when I talk about exercises, I'm
19:50
Speaker 1: not just talking about these brain training apps. While they're fine,
19:53
Speaker 1: they're not really what I'm referring to. The best kind
19:56
Speaker 1: of brain training is things like when you're really putting
19:59
Speaker 1: yourself under, like in a challenging situation and you've got
20:02
Speaker 1: a problem, solve your way out of it. A great
20:04
Speaker 1: one is language acquisition. Learn a new language, even if
20:07
Speaker 1: you're never going to use it, it doesn't matter. It uses
20:09
Speaker 1: quite a larger array of different brain regions. Then memory
20:14
Speaker 1: retrieval games or like memory athletes, that's a great one
20:17
Speaker 1: as well. But I would say if you're really unsure,
20:20
Speaker 1: I would either do a language or play an instrument
20:22
Speaker 1: that's very good for your brain training, and I highly
20:25
Speaker 1: highly recommend that. Separate to that, of course, exercise again,
20:29
Speaker 1: exercise or bang on about that, I'll die on that hill.
20:33
Speaker 1: And obviously meditating things that are going to reduce stress.
20:38
Speaker 1: The more you do that, the better you're going to
20:40
Speaker 1: feel long term. And of course saunas, guys, sauna, sauna, sauna.
20:44
Speaker 1: If you have a sauna available to you, if you
20:47
Speaker 1: have the ability to access the sauna, you fucking use
20:50
Speaker 1: that thing. Okay. It's so good for longevity, it's so
20:53
Speaker 1: good to stave off any kind of heart disease and
20:56
Speaker 1: also neurodegeneration. So couldn't recommend it higher, Okay at this age,
21:00
Speaker 1: even at this age, sense sense, Okay, Now let's go
21:12
Speaker 1: into these seven. This is new rhythms of life, kids, family,
21:16
Speaker 1: all of the above. So this is what people have asked,
21:19
Speaker 1: balancing friendships with family. As you enter this, you know
21:23
Speaker 1: time where you're more stretched your resources, Your time as
21:27
Speaker 1: a person is more stretched with kids, partner, friends, family,
21:29
Speaker 1: all of that. Finding your rhythm after having a baby,
21:34
Speaker 1: And someone asked me, how do you find balance with
21:36
Speaker 1: the twins? Okay, so your thirties is a time in
21:39
Speaker 1: your life where you start to get all these competing priorities. Okay,
21:43
Speaker 1: there's a lot of really important things that are going
21:46
Speaker 1: on all at the same time. So I think it
21:48
Speaker 1: would be unrealistic to think nothing's going to change when
21:53
Speaker 1: you have a kid. Like for me, I'd love to
21:56
Speaker 1: socialize with my friends as much as I did before
21:58
Speaker 1: having kids, but I simply don't. But I do socialize
22:01
Speaker 1: quite a bit, so I'm still very happy. If I
22:04
Speaker 1: was to say no, no, no, no, no, no, dig My
22:06
Speaker 1: Hills and I'm going to see everyone as much as
22:08
Speaker 1: I did before having kids, then I'm going to be
22:09
Speaker 1: quite let down. But instead I think, well, I still
22:12
Speaker 1: actually see my friends multiple times a week. We're lucky
22:15
Speaker 1: that we live very close to each other, and the
22:18
Speaker 1: times that we do get to see each other, we
22:19
Speaker 1: have a fucking ball and I love that. You know,
22:21
Speaker 1: and then you know, so when you look about when
22:25
Speaker 1: you look at striking a balance, when you have things
22:27
Speaker 1: change in your life, you number one have to really
22:29
Speaker 1: own the change. You have to say what can I
22:32
Speaker 1: do about this? And what can I not do about it.
22:34
Speaker 1: I also look at when the twins were born as
22:37
Speaker 1: this being a very short lived season in the scheme
22:41
Speaker 1: of my life, and I would hate to wish it
22:43
Speaker 1: away because it was difficult. Okay, not to say that
22:48
Speaker 1: other people don't have it harder than me. Everyone's in
22:50
Speaker 1: a different stage. But I can tell you with twins,
22:53
Speaker 1: it's no fucking joke when both of them are completely
22:56
Speaker 1: UNSYNCD and you've had sleepless nights and then you've got
22:59
Speaker 1: a wake up and you're there like it's full on. Okay,
23:02
Speaker 1: but I heard this person say this, and now I
23:04
Speaker 1: say it. I remind myself all the time. They said.
23:07
Speaker 1: It was at a wedding speech and it was the
23:08
Speaker 1: father of the bride, and he said it was just
23:11
Speaker 1: crazy because I was looking at you. It feels like
23:14
Speaker 1: I was looking at you the day we took you
23:16
Speaker 1: home from the hospital, and now you're here, you're getting married,
23:18
Speaker 1: You're an adult, he says. You know, the nights when
23:21
Speaker 1: they're a baby, you always have to remind yourself the
23:23
Speaker 1: nights are long, but the years are short. That has
23:26
Speaker 1: stuck with me forever, and it's made me very present
23:28
Speaker 1: in my parenting experience. This quote the nights are long,
23:30
Speaker 1: but the years are short, and I was like, fuck.
23:33
Speaker 1: Like i look at photos of when there were one
23:34
Speaker 1: month old and I'm like, holy shit. So it does
23:37
Speaker 1: help me be more present. So I'm still creating the balance,
23:39
Speaker 1: but I'm also thinking there are moments here that are
23:41
Speaker 1: going to be that are gone in the blink of
23:43
Speaker 1: an eye that I want to really soak up. And
23:46
Speaker 1: if it means that other things in my life kind
23:48
Speaker 1: of dip for a little bit, I'm okay with that.
23:50
Speaker 1: I've got to I've got to figure out again when
23:53
Speaker 1: it comes to priorities, what are the things that are
23:55
Speaker 1: going to be most important overall. Yes, I need my
23:59
Speaker 1: peace of mind. Yes, I need time away from everything
24:02
Speaker 1: and just with my friends occasionally, like to fill out
24:05
Speaker 1: my cup. Socially, Yes, I need to get outside and exercise.
24:08
Speaker 1: There's all these things that I need to do in
24:10
Speaker 1: order for me to actually show up and really enjoy
24:12
Speaker 1: the parenting experience. I don't think I could enjoy it
24:14
Speaker 1: as much if it was this twenty four seven thing
24:17
Speaker 1: and I didn't have a partner who also was being
24:19
Speaker 1: a parent. I don't want to say supportive, because who
24:22
Speaker 1: are they supporting themselves? It's their child. So I think
24:25
Speaker 1: when you look at this idea of balancing when you've
24:28
Speaker 1: got kids and family, you have to appreciate that there
24:31
Speaker 1: is going to be changed, But you also have to think,
24:35
Speaker 1: is this a very seasonal, short lived time in my
24:38
Speaker 1: life that maybe I could just you know, what can
24:40
Speaker 1: I do to obviously feel healthy and balanced and supported,
24:44
Speaker 1: but also what can I do to make the long
24:48
Speaker 1: nights or the sleepless nights more palatable? Okay, Obviously everyone
24:57
Speaker 1: has their own experience, so I can't talk too heavily
24:59
Speaker 1: into everyone's parent experiences. Okay, but when we talk about
25:03
Speaker 1: balance in your thirties, it's less about perfection, I think,
25:07
Speaker 1: and having everything perfectly balanced, because I don't think everything
25:10
Speaker 1: can always be balanced. There's going to be one thing
25:11
Speaker 1: that requires more energy while the other things get less
25:14
Speaker 1: of your time. And then it's this constant game of
25:16
Speaker 1: like bit more here, a bit more there, Oh there's now,
25:18
Speaker 1: I've got to got to that. And it's constantly checking
25:21
Speaker 1: when one cup is getting empty and then going to
25:23
Speaker 1: fill that up, and then the other that's that's life, okay,
25:26
Speaker 1: And the more responsibilities you get, the more. But I
25:28
Speaker 1: want you to look at your thirties as like moving
25:30
Speaker 1: through seasons, and each season is very beautiful and unique
25:33
Speaker 1: in its own different way. Difficult, but beautiful in a
25:36
Speaker 1: different way. One thing I also did want to say
25:40
Speaker 1: before we go into these questions to ask yourself and
25:42
Speaker 1: these statements is the importance of autonomy, not just in
25:48
Speaker 1: your thirties, but whenever in your life. And if you
25:51
Speaker 1: can prioritize autonomy, then you are going to feel a
25:54
Speaker 1: lot better. One of the things, because I've been asked
25:57
Speaker 1: a lot, you know, Okay, why do you feel you've
26:00
Speaker 1: gone through this postpartum season quite well? And why is
26:05
Speaker 1: it that so many people also really suffer? And why
26:08
Speaker 1: is it that there's such a difference in experiences. And
26:10
Speaker 1: obviously I can only speak for my own experience, so
26:12
Speaker 1: it's not something that I can easily talk on the matter.
26:15
Speaker 1: But I have spoken to a lot of women who
26:17
Speaker 1: have had a lot of identity crises when they've gone
26:20
Speaker 1: through the postpartum experience, and a lot of the things
26:24
Speaker 1: that they talk about is this autonomy, the ownership of
26:26
Speaker 1: your own time, and how all of that goes out
26:29
Speaker 1: the window. And for me because I feel well supported.
26:32
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that women who are will supported
26:35
Speaker 1: have to find it easy and have to be happy.
26:37
Speaker 1: There are many women who are like, well, no, no,
26:39
Speaker 1: my partner's great. All of this is great, but it's
26:40
Speaker 1: still hormonally and emotionally a massive mountain that I've got
26:44
Speaker 1: to climb every day. So again, I've got to be
26:46
Speaker 1: careful when I talk about this, because I'm not out
26:48
Speaker 1: to hurt someone when I say what I say. But
26:51
Speaker 1: I feel like, ultimately, the concept of autonomy plays very
26:55
Speaker 1: heavily into how happy and satisfied you feel with your life.
26:58
Speaker 1: If you feel that you own your life separate to
27:01
Speaker 1: the fact that you've got dependence. If you feel that
27:03
Speaker 1: you still own parts of your life and certain parts
27:06
Speaker 1: of your life are just for you, you are going
27:08
Speaker 1: to feel calm or happier and more fulfilled. I don't
27:11
Speaker 1: care if your purpose is to have children and to
27:14
Speaker 1: be a parent and that's all you want in your life,
27:16
Speaker 1: you always still have to do something for you. At
27:19
Speaker 1: the end of the day, you have to say, I'm
27:20
Speaker 1: also living my life for me as well, okay, And
27:24
Speaker 1: that is where autonomy kind of ties into this what
27:27
Speaker 1: am I doing? That shows that I have ownership of
27:30
Speaker 1: this decision, that I have ownership of my body, my thoughts,
27:34
Speaker 1: and at least pockets of my time in my day.
27:37
Speaker 1: If you feel that you are living one hundred percent
27:39
Speaker 1: for everyone else except yourself, you are going to find
27:42
Speaker 1: it really difficult. And that's where a lot of suffering
27:44
Speaker 1: comes from, rightfully. So okay, now let's go into the
27:50
Speaker 1: fucking statements that I want you to go through. So
27:52
Speaker 1: you can either just answer these as I go through them.
27:55
Speaker 1: You can listen to everything and then go back and
27:58
Speaker 1: write them down and their questions you can ask yourself
28:00
Speaker 1: do however you want to. But I'm going to break
28:02
Speaker 1: it into identity, timelines, career relationships, life design, and closing
28:07
Speaker 1: the chapters of your twenties. And I've got a bunch
28:08
Speaker 1: of questions for each one, So subtile and get your
28:11
Speaker 1: fucking matcha and let's go. So questions to ask yourself
28:15
Speaker 1: these statements are in identity. What parts of my identity
28:19
Speaker 1: do I need to let go off in order to
28:21
Speaker 1: grow the good and the bad. There's going to be
28:23
Speaker 1: certain parts of your identity that you find really fun,
28:26
Speaker 1: but they don't align with who you want to become
28:28
Speaker 1: moving forward, So get clear on that. What do I
28:31
Speaker 1: need to stop wasting time on based on what I
28:34
Speaker 1: have learnt in my twenties? Am I being intentional with
28:38
Speaker 1: my decisions? Or am I just living in a follow
28:42
Speaker 1: on from my twenties? Do my current decisions align with
28:46
Speaker 1: the ideas I have for my future self habits, behavioral addictions, actions,
28:50
Speaker 1: lack of action protecting yourself, etc. So that's identity timelines.
28:56
Speaker 1: Am I actually behind? Or am I measuring myself against
29:00
Speaker 1: the wrong timelines? Like that example I gave last week
29:02
Speaker 1: where if you are, you know, in this state of
29:07
Speaker 1: hanging around people all the time who are doing everything
29:09
Speaker 1: way younger than you even want to, you're going to
29:11
Speaker 1: feel behind. But if you were to change your environment
29:13
Speaker 1: and look at people that live a life closer alliance
29:16
Speaker 1: to the style of life you want to live, then
29:17
Speaker 1: you're probably not going to feel behind. Okay, So it's
29:19
Speaker 1: important to know who you're measuring yourself against and do
29:22
Speaker 1: you even want to be measuring yourself against those timelines
29:25
Speaker 1: just because it's the norm. Do you want that? Because
29:27
Speaker 1: if you want it, okay, it is what it is.
29:29
Speaker 1: But a lot of the time you don't. What does
29:32
Speaker 1: success mean to me? Is it a feeling or is
29:36
Speaker 1: it what other people view me as? And why career?
29:42
Speaker 1: If I were starting over knowing what I know now,
29:46
Speaker 1: would I choose the same career? If not? Why not?
29:50
Speaker 1: And what could I put into practice now to change that?
29:54
Speaker 1: So you might not be able to quit your career
29:56
Speaker 1: right now. You might obviously be making good money and whatever,
29:59
Speaker 1: but knowing that, maybe it's important that you realize if
30:02
Speaker 1: I still feel this way when I'm turn forty, I'm
30:05
Speaker 1: probably still going to feel that way. So what can
30:07
Speaker 1: I do about it? There's always something we can do, Okay,
30:09
Speaker 1: whether it be you can maybe stay in the same
30:11
Speaker 1: industry but maybe a different kind of job. Whatever it is.
30:16
Speaker 1: Am I staying because I don't know what else I
30:18
Speaker 1: want to do? Or because I'm scared to do what
30:21
Speaker 1: I really want? What risks would feel harder to take
30:25
Speaker 1: in ten years versus taking them now? Now we go
30:30
Speaker 1: into relationships. Do my current relationships exhaust me or energize me?
30:36
Speaker 1: How have I learned to be a top tier friend?
30:39
Speaker 1: And what am I going to do to make sure
30:41
Speaker 1: that I show up as that as often as possible?
30:43
Speaker 1: Am I holding onto connections out of history or alignment.
30:48
Speaker 1: Am I waiting for the right person to come around?
30:51
Speaker 1: Or am I making myself into the person more likely
30:54
Speaker 1: to cross paths with the right person? Am I increasing
30:57
Speaker 1: my chances? Or am I just waiting? So I want
31:00
Speaker 1: to go into that a little bit. Sometimes we will
31:03
Speaker 1: be so hell bent on the kind of person we
31:05
Speaker 1: want to date, but we don't ask ourselves, would the
31:08
Speaker 1: person that I want to date want to date me? Like,
31:12
Speaker 1: if I want to date someone who's like driven, get
31:15
Speaker 1: up and go these that I better be fucking shying
31:18
Speaker 1: up in the same way I fucking better be. Okay,
31:21
Speaker 1: you don't have to be the richest person in the
31:23
Speaker 1: world or this or that or whatever, but you've got
31:26
Speaker 1: to look at the traits that you really desire in
31:28
Speaker 1: a person and say, am I at the very minimum
31:31
Speaker 1: working on these traits or something that very heavily compliments
31:35
Speaker 1: those traits? Like if I want someone who's a career
31:37
Speaker 1: driven person, who's successful, who's social, who's these, who's that,
31:40
Speaker 1: who's whatever? Knowing the kind of person that I want,
31:44
Speaker 1: who do you think would compliment them in a relationship?
31:48
Speaker 1: Because if I'm not even that, then the likelihood is low.
31:50
Speaker 1: So let's get real here. Okay, Am I waiting around
31:54
Speaker 1: for this dream person to land in my lab or?
31:56
Speaker 1: Am I actually becoming the you know these traits that
32:01
Speaker 1: I really love in other people? Am I gaining those
32:03
Speaker 1: for myself as well? Really important? Okay? Now, life design,
32:09
Speaker 1: put yourself in the shoes of your forty year old
32:11
Speaker 1: self or even the thirty five year old self, depending
32:13
Speaker 1: on how old you are as you're entering this roughly
32:15
Speaker 1: five or ten years into the future. Okay, think about
32:18
Speaker 1: what you would have in an ideal world. What kind
32:21
Speaker 1: of balance in your life would you have, What kind
32:23
Speaker 1: of social things would you want to be doing, How
32:26
Speaker 1: fulfilled would you be, and what kind of hard work
32:29
Speaker 1: would it require for you to have that? Further down
32:33
Speaker 1: the line. Now, I'm not talking about things that absolutely
32:35
Speaker 1: are not within your control. You might want three kids,
32:38
Speaker 1: but that might not happen for you. You might want,
32:41
Speaker 1: you know, a marriage by this time, So I'm not
32:42
Speaker 1: talking about specific like five year plans. I'm talking about
32:45
Speaker 1: when I'm forty roughly, what do I want my life
32:48
Speaker 1: to be feeling like? Do I want that peace of
32:51
Speaker 1: mind and balance? Do I want to have that high
32:53
Speaker 1: pressure high intensity career where it's like, you know, being
32:56
Speaker 1: a business person, blah blah do I want? Like what
32:59
Speaker 1: does it from an energy level perspective, from a free
33:03
Speaker 1: time perspective, from like a family, or a social perspective,
33:06
Speaker 1: And it starts giving you an idea of like, if
33:08
Speaker 1: I'm so clear on what I want, how much of
33:10
Speaker 1: what I'm doing now kind of measures up? Our aligns
33:13
Speaker 1: with that, okay, because you can't otherwise you're just going
33:16
Speaker 1: to be going one day after another days tick away
33:18
Speaker 1: quicker than we realize. And then it's a year down
33:20
Speaker 1: the line and you're like, oh, well, I knew I
33:22
Speaker 1: wanted that, but I keep thinking, oh, it's so far
33:24
Speaker 1: into the future it doesn't matter, And then before you
33:25
Speaker 1: know what, you're there. Okay, Now, closing the chapter of
33:28
Speaker 1: your twenties, it's really important that we close it in
33:31
Speaker 1: a way that we're really we're thrilled for what we've learned,
33:34
Speaker 1: and we're thrilled for the great experiences that we've had it,
33:36
Speaker 1: even the hard ones, because they've taught us shit. But
33:39
Speaker 1: then we're excited for the next chapter. Okay, So what
33:42
Speaker 1: am I grateful for in my twenties? But also ready
33:44
Speaker 1: to let go off. There's things you're not going to
33:46
Speaker 1: want to let go off, which is fine, but there's
33:47
Speaker 1: certain things that we can be like, you know what,
33:49
Speaker 1: it really served its time, It served its purpose. But
33:51
Speaker 1: I'm ready to move to the next stage, and i
33:52
Speaker 1: have to be able to, you know, be grateful and
33:57
Speaker 1: kind of like remember Marie Kondo, that that Japanese women
34:01
Speaker 1: that would go and organize everyone's houses, and sh'd say,
34:03
Speaker 1: when you are ready to let go of something, you
34:06
Speaker 1: grab it, your kiss it, and you say thank you,
34:07
Speaker 1: and then you kindly either give it away, donate it,
34:10
Speaker 1: sell it, or throw it away. And it was a
34:13
Speaker 1: really nice way of kind of being grateful for the
34:16
Speaker 1: way that it had served you in your life, but
34:18
Speaker 1: also saying, I don't need this thing anymore. So you
34:19
Speaker 1: can do that with everything in your life, not just
34:21
Speaker 1: physical possessions around your home. Next one is what did
34:24
Speaker 1: my twenties teach me that I want to carry over
34:28
Speaker 1: into my thirties, but maybe in a more streamlined way.
34:31
Speaker 1: And then lastly, what lessons am I so grateful for
34:36
Speaker 1: that I can use in my thirties. And the reason
34:39
Speaker 1: I say that I can use is because you'll find
34:41
Speaker 1: a thousand lessons that are useful. Regret is a big one.
34:45
Speaker 1: If there's anything that you look back and regret on,
34:47
Speaker 1: bang perfect, that's a lesson love a lesson. Regret is
34:50
Speaker 1: only useless if you learn nothing from it, if you
34:53
Speaker 1: can be like God, I regret being so caught up
34:56
Speaker 1: on what people thought about me when I could it awesome.
34:58
Speaker 1: So what does that mean if I can learn from it?
35:00
Speaker 1: It means that this is a facet of my life
35:02
Speaker 1: that I'm going to really work on and put my
35:04
Speaker 1: energy into working on this and self validating instead of
35:07
Speaker 1: getting it from other people. Perfect. I regret not taking
35:09
Speaker 1: that job overseas. Okay, good? What does that teach me?
35:12
Speaker 1: He teaches me? Then when big opportunities come up, I
35:14
Speaker 1: don't want to live with this feeling anymore. So if
35:15
Speaker 1: I had another outrageous opportunity like that come up, I
35:18
Speaker 1: would take it. I would fucking take it. And how
35:20
Speaker 1: can I make sure that I can take it? Shit
35:22
Speaker 1: like that? Okay? So that is the episode for Monday.
35:26
Speaker 1: Very excited. Love it so much, and I hope that
35:31
Speaker 1: you wrote all these things down were able to answer
35:33
Speaker 1: the questions. I had a lot of great feedback and
35:35
Speaker 1: comments on Spotify from people really enjoying the first Monday
35:39
Speaker 1: episode about like last week's episode about your thirties, So yeah,
35:42
Speaker 1: I really hope that this was enjoyable and yeah, good times. Anyway,
35:47
Speaker 1: that is all for today's episode. As always, remember be
35:49
Speaker 1: kind to yourself, be kind to your brain, don't take
35:51
Speaker 1: shit from anyone, and especially don't take shit from yourself.
35:54
Speaker 1: Dun't