Latest / Red Onion Randy - Life in a Supermax Prison / Praying for a Lockdown
Transcript
- 0:13Hello, this is a pre big call from and make it the Virginia Department
- 0:17of Corrections. Read on in state prison to accept this call, Chress zero.
- 0:25This is Randall vab And I'm serving one thy two hundred and fourteen years
- 0:29in Wallace Ridge State Prison and Big Stone Gap, Virginia for Capitol murder.
- 0:33This is my podcast for red Onion Randy. I hope you enjoyed listening to
- 0:37me today. Today I'm going to talk about something that I mean, I
- 0:42have touched on it before, but I'm gonna talk about lockdown. What a
- 0:46lockdown is, what it means, and why it's kind of so important to
- 0:50me at this moment. The rumor is tomorrow morning we're going on lockdown for
- 0:57two weeks so the institutional staff can and shake every single cell down, every
- 1:02single pot down, searching for knives, searching for drugs, searching for escape
- 1:07attempts, any type of contraband, which there is an awful lot of in
- 1:12prison no matter where you go. I needed I'm looking forward to. This
- 1:17is the first lockdown in my thirty three years of doing time in prison that
- 1:23I'm looking forward to, like I need this. I need to get away
- 1:27from these guys, I need two weeks in a damn cell by myself.
- 1:30I need a vacation. I have been so so frustrated. Everybody in here,
- 1:38damn here has been getting on my nerves. They've been getting drunk left
- 1:48and right. And I mean when I say getting drunk, I mean getting
- 1:53faced drunk, knock your in the dirt drunk. I mean dudes are stumbling
- 1:59around. One dude got so drunk he walked up the steps, barely could
- 2:02make it up the steps, and he got right around in front of my
- 2:06door and he started wabbling and he fell up against the railer. There's a
- 2:10big opening in between the railing. He almost went through the damn thing head.
- 2:15First thought I was gonna have to I didn't have to. He was
- 2:17able to catch himself, but I was standing at the door, and I
- 2:21thought I was gonna have to jump out and grab him to keep him from
- 2:23falling and breaking his damn knack or killing himself. They're just getting loud.
- 2:29They're just getting on my damn nurse. I mean they're getting on my last
- 2:31nurse. And it's not just one or two people, it's damn near everybody
- 2:36in the pond. I come over I'll get on the phone, I'm trying
- 2:39to talk to someone. I'm trying to talk to a friend or a loved
- 2:43one, and I can't hear. And one day it was so bad.
- 2:47I was talking to Nicole, my girlfriend now, and I kept having to
- 2:53ask her, what'd you say? I'm sorry, can you repeat yourself?
- 2:55I couldn't hear you. And I had to do that so many times that
- 3:00it gave her a nightmare that night. It brought back a lot of things.
- 3:06It'd be like bad things that happened to her, and like nobody was
- 3:08coming, nobody could hear her, and she was screaming for help. And
- 3:13because I kept saying I can't hear you, I can't hear you, get
- 3:16triggered that stuff like and I mean when she told me that, yeah,
- 3:22yeah, yeah, that brought up some old stuff from me because I wanted
- 3:25to punish them for that. So I'm looking forward to it, like I
- 3:30need this, you know. And I got so much on my plate just
- 3:34because you know, I got sent down to Sussex and VCU for the medical
- 3:38run, and then when I got back up here, it took so long
- 3:40for me to get my property, and it just you know, I'm so
- 3:44far behind in emails. I'm so far behind and the stuff that I'm working
- 3:47on, my projects, and you know that I'm trying to do to make
- 3:51me feel better about myself, that I'm trying to put something good out here
- 3:54in the world. I'm trying to be creative. I'm trying to trying to
- 3:58build something. I'm tired of destroying. I'm trying to hurt and I'm tired
- 4:00of tearing stuff down. And it's just like, I need two weeks.
- 4:05I need two weeks in a still to way. I'm not coming out to
- 4:08sell. I can catch up on all my emails, I can get as
- 4:12much work done as I can, and I can just be by myself.
- 4:15The pod is going to be quiet for the most part. Every now and
- 4:16then you might have one or two people get on the doors and talk to
- 4:20one another for a few minutes here there, or screaming that them, Hey
- 4:24man, you got some girls showing her asks on TV, which I'll always
- 4:28respond out loud, dude, act like you've seen it before. I need
- 4:32that rest. And that's the thing, like I realized, the closer and
- 4:38closer I get to going home to giving my time back, I have a
- 4:43lawyer coming up to see me. It's going to cost me fifteen thousand dollars
- 4:47to pay for her. You know, I decide to hire her. I'm
- 4:50not just just because she's coming and talk to me doesn't mean I'm paying her.
- 4:55I'm gonna choose her to represent me. You know, she's gonna have
- 4:58to answer questions. She's gonna have to talk to me and convince me that
- 5:01she can get me out. I'm not just giving you fifteen grands so you
- 5:04can represent me, you know, half ass, and I spend the rest
- 5:09of my life in prison and I just made you richer. That's not gonna
- 5:12happen. If if I don't have an absolute confidence in her, yeah,
- 5:15she's not gonna happen. I'll be patient and wait. So you know,
- 5:18I mean like I need to prepare for that, you know, and that
- 5:21that being on lockdown is going to help you with that. But like it
- 5:25seems like the closer I get to that date of going home, the harder
- 5:30and harder it gets for me to deal with these guys. Like everyone knows
- 5:35how much I hate sussex one. If you've ever listened to any of my
- 5:40podcasts, you know I hate Sussex One more than I hate anything in this
- 5:46world. I hate Sussex One more than I hate child molesters. And this
- 5:51part has gotten so it's not the actual part. I like the way they
- 5:55run this part because basically, I get podreck from around six o'clock in the
- 6:00morning till around eleven thirty in the afternoon. We come out around one thirty
- 6:05two o'clock and we stay out till five o'clock, and you know, every
- 6:10now and then on night Ship we'll get thirty minutes. So this night Grave,
- 6:14that's a good thing. Like, I'm looking forward to it. I'm
- 6:17sorry I got twisted around it. I got distracted by other people around me.
- 6:21I apologize. I hate Sussex oneing, but I'm at the point the
- 6:27dudes in here are getting on my nerves so bad that I would rather go
- 6:33to Sussex One. Like, I don't know what's going on with my leg
- 6:38yet. I haven't got the results back from the biopsy yet, but like,
- 6:42I'm looking forward to going to Sussex One when they because I'm supposed to
- 6:46go down there for a couple of months while they do the surgery and I
- 6:47heal up and all that. Stuff like. These guys have gotten on my
- 6:51damn nerves in this part so bad with the backbiting. All they do is
- 6:55gossip. All they do is crowd All they do is talk about Yeah,
- 6:59man, I killed this dude. Back in the day, I was shooting
- 7:01this dude on the street. I was walking this dude asked I was doing
- 7:04this, I would doing that. He told on me, though, Chris,
- 7:09he told on me. Hold wait a minute, dude, you just
- 7:12went from being a killer to crying about him. Tell him go kill him.
- 7:15Then, if you don't want to do snitching on you, why ain't
- 7:18you doing something to this dude. Yeah, I'm not trying to hear it,
- 7:23man, carry you ask my I hate to see who's coming in the
- 7:27cell, tearing everything apart, throwing it in the floor, walking on it.
- 7:32I'm just I just need to get away from the damn nbas That's the
- 7:39only problem, because I have to say, look, in the last couple
- 7:42of months, the new warden's up here, although they've been here for about
- 7:45five months now, so I guess they can't really call him new anymore.
- 7:47But like they've got it, they've got to place fixed. Like when I
- 7:50first got here, all we spent was time on lockdown. Lockdown after lockdown,
- 7:57after lockdown, you'll come off for three week lockdown, you'll be out
- 8:00for one or two days. Somebody will get to fight, and they'll put
- 8:01you back on lockdown for three more weeks. But now it's just that part.
- 8:07They don't lock the whole compound down for what one person or two or
- 8:11three people do. And I think that's the damn problem, man, because
- 8:16I don't know. I just it's just getting so much harder to deal with
- 8:22people. It's getting so much harder to be patient, you know. And
- 8:26I guess I got so many good things going for me in my life.
- 8:28I mean, I finally found that woman I want to be with, I
- 8:33want to marry, I've got I've got friends that I never thought I would
- 8:35have. And the cool thing is they're all from these different walks of life.
- 8:41They do different things. I got people from professors to journalists, to
- 8:46guys who own their own business, to guys who work instruction to stay at
- 8:52home moms. Like that's amazing to me, Like this is my eyes have
- 8:56been open to so much, Like I guess because I want to go home
- 9:00so bad, like I want to actually be out there and be a part
- 9:03of real life again. You know, I want to have that chance again.
- 9:09And it's just like I see these guys in here. They don't want
- 9:11to do nothing. They don't want to do anything to better themselves. You've
- 9:16got a couple of guys that are so close to going home, like I
- 9:18mean, they are within months away from actually getting released in prison and going
- 9:22home. And I have conversations with him and I said, well, what
- 9:24are you gonna do when you go home home? I'm gonna start my own
- 9:26clothing lot. Okay, what do you know about that business? Do you
- 9:31know how to run a business? Do you know what a spreadsheet is?
- 9:37Well, dude, man, how come you ain't how come you ain't got
- 9:39your people to go and buy you a couple of business books so you can
- 9:43sit up in to sell and read these books and line of this stuff.
- 9:46And you can't tell me you people don't got money because they just spent three
- 9:50hundred and fifty dollars on you know, in Islamic you know holiday thing for
- 9:58Rama Doc. You just spend one hundred and twenty five dollars on the holiday
- 10:01package, the quarterly package that we get every three months. I mean,
- 10:07you spend seventy five dollars a week in commonsly like you have plenty of money.
- 10:11But they don't even want to do it, Like they don't even want
- 10:13to put no work in and they think they're just gonna go home and start
- 10:16a clothing line. Like, Okay, show me some of your designs.
- 10:18What are you working on, man? What are you up there drawing?
- 10:22And you say, oh, man, I don't have nothing, Man,
- 10:22I do it all in my head. But seriously, man, you think
- 10:26you're going to go home and be successful. You're not doing no work in
- 10:30prison. The only thing you're doing is playing cards. The only thing you're
- 10:33doing is getting drunk. The only thing you're doing is stripped and getting high.
- 10:37And you think, if you're gonna give your time back, you're gonna
- 10:39get released in prison to go home and you're going to start this business and
- 10:43you're actually going to be successful in it. You know, you've got another
- 10:46guy. He wants to go home and get his CDL, get his trucker's
- 10:50license. He wants to start his own little trunk in business eventually. Okay,
- 10:54what are you doing? And the crazy thing about this situation is they
- 11:00actually have a DMV app on our players for free. You get it for
- 11:05free and it has that whole manual for your CD A license. Are you
- 11:11reading it? Are you studying it? Or no? I'm gonna do that
- 11:15like a month before I go home. That way, I know it really
- 11:18good. Yes, sure you are, buddy, I believe you. Come
- 11:22on, man, you don't even believe you. What are you doing?
- 11:24Like? This is the stuff I'm dealing with. I've written two children's novels.
- 11:30I'm working on a movie script. Granted that is taking a lot longer
- 11:35than it should have one. I am trying to make it really good.
- 11:39I'm trying to come out the gate swinging. But I'm working on another fantasy
- 11:43novel. I've got a podcast. I did some stuff for the University of
- 11:48Central Asia and Kyrgyzstan on Nomadic Storyteller. Like I'm working on all of these
- 11:54damn things. Why Because if I don't do it now, I want to
- 12:00do it when I hit the streets, I'm just going to go home and
- 12:03fall into the same old pattern, the behavior that I did that got my
- 12:07ass put in the prison in the first place. So as much as I
- 12:09hate going back on lockdown, as much as it reminds me of long term
- 12:15solitary confinement and the eighteen and a half years total that I did on that.
- 12:22Like, I don't want to be trapped in the self. I want
- 12:24to be able to come out and email people and get emails and get pictures
- 12:28from my friends. I want to be able to come out and get on
- 12:31the phone two, three times, sometimes five times a day and call somebody
- 12:35and talk to them and see how they're doing and seeing what's going on in
- 12:37their lives. So that gives me that little mental escape from prison that I
- 12:43need. That stuff strengthens me. But I'm at the point like you know
- 12:46what, man, my friends are just gonna have to give me two weeks.
- 12:50They're just gonna have to wake Like I need to get away from these
- 12:52people, Like I don't want to talk to nobody in this part anymore.
- 12:58Yeah, two weeks in solid here and I literally got on my knees and
- 13:03prayed and asked God to make sure we go on lockdown tomorrow. When I
- 13:07heard the room, I think I heard the rumor around Wednesday or Thursday of
- 13:13last week that we're supposed to go on this Monday. I'm like, man,
- 13:16yes, thank God, Please please lock my ass down for two weeks
- 13:24so I don't have to deal with nobody, so I don't have to listen
- 13:26to them, so I can just get away. And the sad thing is,
- 13:30it's really it comes down to three people in the pod. If we
- 13:35could just get rid of three inmates, if they would just transfer them to
- 13:39red Onion, Sussex, one release their ass from prison. I don't care.
- 13:45If they would just get rid of three particular people in this pod,
- 13:50the pod would change. It would be so much better. All the gossip,
- 13:54all the backbiting, Like I'm actually quite pissed off. I wouldn't even
- 14:00sure if I was going to talk about this or not. But I went
- 14:03and I talked to somebody two weeks ago, and I'm like, look,
- 14:05man, let's make a meal for four of us. And uh, it
- 14:09was me and Cartoon and two other guys. I'm not gonna mention their names,
- 14:13so I paid twenty some dollars for it. Cartoon he bought a sausage,
- 14:20He bought a block of mozzarella cheese and a bag of chili, and
- 14:24uh, the one of the other guys gave me a sausage and a block
- 14:26of cheese, and uh, you know, he was supposed to put some
- 14:30other stuff in anybody didn't. The fourth guy was supposed to make apple pies
- 14:33for all four of us. So I sit there and I cook up this
- 14:37huge log and I eat cartoon eats his. The other two dudes take theirs
- 14:45back in the cell, and that night we came out for podreck you have
- 14:50one minute remaining. It was like, yeah, it was good, dude,
- 14:54Like did my face was like yeah, it was good, man,
- 14:56Like, I appreciate that, thank you. I come out the next morning
- 15:00and I'm out walking around doing my thing, and I see two other guys
- 15:03eating these meals. The two dudes that I cook for, The two dudes
- 15:07that agreed to do all this and didn't pay for it, except for one
- 15:11sausage and one block of cheese. They gave what I gave them. Like,
- 15:15that's the type dudes I'm dealing with in here. That's why I need
- 15:18a break, man, Like I need a break, so damn bad.
- 15:20It's yeah, but unfortunately I ran out of time. I appreciate you listening
- 15:26to me. Don't forget in the US, I have a soul free number
- 15:30one eight eight eight five two four, one nine three two all international calls,
- 15:37just put a plus in front of one. Check out my website redonion
- 15:39Randy dot com. I'm on Twitter at red Onion Randy and take care,
- 15:45stay safe, and pray for me. I need it. Thank you for using GTL