Latest / Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections / Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Jane Rolen and Michael A Forman, Professional Speaker

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Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Jane Rolen and Michael A Forman, Professional Speaker · Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections

• 0:14
  Welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable
• 0:17
  Connections. I'm your host, Michael Foreman.
• 0:20
  We all face adversity, but here's the question.
• 0:24
  Does the fire simply test us or does it reveal
• 0:28
  who we really are? Today's guest knows what it
• 0:32
  means to be forged in the fire, turning grit
• 0:36
  into gold, adversity into advantage, and personal
• 0:40
  challenges into a reason to serve others. We're
• 0:45
  talking about resilience, relationships, character,
• 0:48
  and why real success isn't just how high you
• 0:52
  climb. It's about who you help along the way.
• 0:55
  This one's going to get a little personal, so
• 0:58
  let's just get into it. I'd like to welcome to
• 1:01
  the podcast today, Jane Rowland. She is going
• 1:05
  to give us a little bit about everything I just
• 1:07
  said. And good morning, Jane. And how would you...
• 1:11
  Give me, let's say, the cliff notes of how you
• 1:14
  got where you are today. Good morning, Michael,
• 1:17
  and good morning, everyone. I don't know where
• 1:20
  to start, but my life has been a series of challenges
• 1:24
  from childhood to adulthood that I call it accelerated
• 1:29
  adulthood. Because when I was 17 years old, I
• 1:34
  lost my mom to cancer. And I have five siblings.
• 1:38
  I immediately became a junior mom. Not because
• 1:43
  I was ready, but because somebody had to step
• 1:45
  up. My father married somebody who didn't care
• 1:49
  too much about us. So it was up to me to take
• 1:52
  care of the kids. So many years later, well,
• 1:57
  let me get back. I helped send them to school,
• 1:59
  to college. And the way I did that was I was
• 2:03
  working for the government in the Philippines.
• 2:05
  And they have a program for employees that when
• 2:08
  you take out a loan and you pay it. For the whole
• 2:12
  semester, which is interest -free, then you can
• 2:15
  don't again. So that sent my brothers to school
• 2:18
  and all the way down to the youngest one. But
• 2:21
  anyway, I was already back in the States when
• 2:23
  my younger sisters went to college. And many
• 2:28
  years later, in 2015, in January of 2015, I lost
• 2:33
  my father. Two months later, I lost my husband.
• 2:40
  I was thinking, how can this level of grief even
• 2:43
  be allowed? But I did not have a chance to grieve.
• 2:47
  I did not give myself the chance to grieve because
• 2:49
  there are so many things to do. I have a family
• 2:53
  to take care of. My siblings are still young
• 2:56
  and I was still helping them. So I guess with
• 3:01
  all the stress that came the year that both my
• 3:04
  father and my husband fell the same day and they
• 3:07
  were in and out of the ICU and then the same
• 3:10
  year that they they passed away in May I fell
• 3:13
  and broke my foot so I was wearing these orthopedic
• 3:17
  boots for six months but I was traveling because
• 3:20
  I was giving training to the managers I used
• 3:22
  to work for social security so I was training
• 3:25
  managers all over the region and I was like going
• 3:27
  with ugly boots and then in October the year
• 3:31
  I was harassed by somebody close to the family
• 3:35
  my stepson And I had to fight that too. Then
• 3:38
  in December, I started having these really heavy
• 3:42
  headaches. And I thought it was my sinus headaches
• 3:44
  because I, for many years, I've been taking this
• 3:47
  Lirazanine for the sinus headaches. But it was
• 3:50
  so massive that I couldn't get up. And my friend
• 3:55
  took me to the emergency room and the doctor
• 3:57
  said, we have to keep you. You have brain tumor.
• 4:02
  We got to take it out. It was a slow -growing
• 4:05
  tumor right behind my right eye socket. So my
• 4:10
  friend who took me there was like, oh, my God.
• 4:13
  And then I just said, let's do whatever you want
• 4:17
  to. Just get me out of my misery. It is so painful.
• 4:21
  And then he was saying, the funniest thing is
• 4:23
  that he was saying, okay, it's right behind your
• 4:26
  right eye socket. We can probably cut it here.
• 4:28
  And I said, don't you dare touch my face. My
• 4:32
  friend was laughing. You were still vain. You're
• 4:35
  already under a lot of pain. But I said, it's
• 4:37
  going to have a scar. And he said the reason
• 4:41
  I was in so much pain because it was a slow -growing
• 4:44
  tumor, and then it was running out of room to
• 4:47
  grow. That's why I was in so much pain. That's
• 4:49
  why they had to take it out. So they shaved my
• 4:51
  head, opened my skull, and took it out. And when
• 4:56
  they were taking me out of the operating room,
• 5:00
  I was awake. I called my sister in California.
• 5:02
  I said, hey, everything's done. Don't worry.
• 5:06
  They took me to my room. I was gone. I was in
• 5:09
  coma for 12 days. And when I woke up, I lost
• 5:14
  12 days and everybody, they said people were
• 5:17
  crying. People were like in my room. And even
• 5:19
  the hospital said, you got to stop coming in
• 5:21
  because there's too many people in my room. So
• 5:24
  that's my story. And so I went back to work.
• 5:28
  There were more challenges and I had to ask for
• 5:30
  a transfer because of the stress. I was going
• 5:32
  to die if I was going to continue in that role.
• 5:35
  I was a team leader for equal rights and equal
• 5:38
  opportunity. So I transferred to a quieter environment,
• 5:43
  but I had to give up my management position.
• 5:47
  At least the title, but it's the same grade,
• 5:49
  the same pay. So I said, yeah, sure, I'll do
• 5:52
  that. That means I don't have to take care of
• 5:54
  adult kids or as a supervisor. But looking back,
• 5:59
  it's almost like, like I said, I did not have
• 6:01
  a chance to kind of think of what I'm supposed
• 6:03
  to do. It's like instinct. It's like being there
• 6:07
  for people who need me. And to the point that
• 6:12
  I sacrificed myself. But it's the most gratifying
• 6:17
  thing for me is that I see people succeed because
• 6:20
  of what I did for them. And it doesn't matter
• 6:23
  whether I was sleepless or I was tired or whatever.
• 6:26
  But so I turned that into my leadership. Because
• 6:31
  I was already the chair of a lot of organizations
• 6:33
  anyway. Yes. And so I started mentoring people
• 6:38
  because they come to me. I did a keynote in one
• 6:41
  of the international women's organization. And
• 6:44
  this lady was crying after the speech. And she
• 6:46
  came up to me and I said, did I offend you? Did
• 6:49
  I say anything wrong? And then she said, no,
• 6:52
  I am crying because everything you said up there
• 6:55
  resonated with me. And so she said, I want to
• 6:59
  talk to you some more. So that's how my speaking
• 7:02
  business started. Okay. So let's get into this
• 7:06
  a little bit more with the questions and we'll
• 7:09
  delve a little bit deeper into what your background.
• 7:11
  Your keynote is called Forged in Fire. When life
• 7:16
  puts us through the fire, what does it reveal
• 7:18
  about our character that success sometimes hides?
• 7:25
  It reveals your strength. It reveals how far
• 7:29
  you can take yourself. It reveals your character.
• 7:33
  What's in your soul? And even unintentionally,
• 7:37
  you don't even know that. I didn't know that
• 7:41
  I was already showing people that I was strong,
• 7:44
  that I can do this. I wasn't thinking of myself.
• 7:49
  I was thinking of those people who need me. And
• 7:52
  that's why I put my feelings aside. I put what
• 7:55
  I wanted aside because I wanted people around
• 7:58
  me, my family. I wanted my brothers and sisters
• 8:02
  to succeed. But that kind of... Also, extend
• 8:05
  it into people that I lead, both at my work and
• 8:07
  in my organizations. So they tell me that, do
• 8:11
  you even sleep? Because I am not very good at
• 8:16
  doing nothing. I cannot keep still. I think that's
• 8:22
  also, when I look back at those days that I come
• 8:25
  home, I still do some work. I go to bed following
• 8:29
  morning. I get up and do it all over again. It's
• 8:32
  because I think I did not want to feel lonesome
• 8:37
  or depressed. So I kept going. Okay. Networking
• 8:43
  often encourages us to show confidence and success.
• 8:48
  Do you think allowing people to see some of our
• 8:51
  struggles can actually create stronger relationships?
• 8:56
  I believe that. It does. It really does. Because
• 8:59
  people who know you and people who know your
• 9:01
  struggles and see where you are now, they get
• 9:03
  inspired. I didn't know that I was inspiring
• 9:07
  a lot of people when they learn about my story.
• 9:10
  And then they come up to me and ask for it. And
• 9:12
  those mentorships become special relations. You
• 9:16
  become friends. You become mentors. You become
• 9:18
  a mentee for some people as well. But you're
• 9:21
  contributing. You are helping. Somebody told
• 9:25
  me, At one time that I think your middle name
• 9:28
  is service because you're out there always serving,
• 9:33
  always helping people. But that's what makes
• 9:36
  me happy. And that's a good way to be. It's always
• 9:39
  good because when you're networking, as we discussed
• 9:42
  before, you're networking with a servant's heart
• 9:45
  and you're halfway there because you're always
• 9:47
  looking to see what you can do for others before
• 9:51
  others can do for you. And that's the name of
• 9:54
  the game with relationships. There's a lot of
• 9:57
  pressure today to turn every relationship into
• 10:00
  an opportunity. How do we protect the humanity
• 10:03
  of a relationship when business opportunities
• 10:06
  are also involved? Honesty and the intent. You
• 10:15
  just have to be honest to yourself and to the
• 10:18
  people that you're dealing with. It's kind of
• 10:22
  hard sometimes when you feel like you're being
• 10:23
  used. It's hard when you feel like people call
• 10:27
  you only when they need you. But you've got to
• 10:30
  understand it from their perspective as well.
• 10:34
  They need to survive. You've got to understand
• 10:36
  that too. But you have to meet halfway. Like,
• 10:39
  for instance, I founded this organization, or
• 10:42
  let me set back. I was the president of the Chamber
• 10:46
  of Commerce for three years. And some people
• 10:49
  outside, when I took on that role, there were
• 10:51
  only 20. member members and 11 of them were board
• 10:55
  members and I almost cried because I didn't know
• 10:58
  this and money was like under what we only had
• 11:01
  500 I think so the first year was just gung -ho
• 11:05
  of membership drives and gung -ho of raising
• 11:08
  funds so by the end when I took over in February
• 11:11
  that's what I found out January I should say
• 11:13
  and then by November we had 94 members so I was
• 11:17
  feeling good about that and i was telling them
• 11:20
  that we need to be visible to the community and
• 11:22
  we need to let them know what's in it for them
• 11:24
  so that they would join us so because people
• 11:27
  always always say that i'm paying membership
• 11:29
  fee what can you do for me now some of my friends
• 11:32
  said that do you Remember this person, the person
• 11:35
  she just joined because she wants to network
• 11:38
  to make money and for the business and whatever.
• 11:41
  And I said, that's the point. That's the point.
• 11:43
  That's the purpose of them being here. So we
• 11:45
  shouldn't take that against them. At the same
• 11:47
  time, though, while we're helping them, they
• 11:49
  can help other people as well. The other members,
• 11:51
  the networking. We can support each other's businesses.
• 11:55
  Another situation is that recently I founded
• 11:58
  the Overseas Filipino Workers Foundation. And
• 12:04
  again, somebody was saying that she's always
• 12:06
  talking about her business. Every single time,
• 12:10
  every single project, she's always talking about
• 12:11
  what she can offer. And I said, people don't
• 12:16
  have to buy it. It's her prerogative to talk
• 12:19
  about her business. And she calls it, I can help
• 12:24
  you. So it comes in the form of, I can help you
• 12:27
  with what you need. So I said, I wouldn't really
• 12:30
  think badly. too much about that. Although, of
• 12:34
  course, if it gets too much, then we got to call
• 12:37
  them to the carpet. It's the same thing over
• 12:39
  and over again. And it takes over the purpose
• 12:42
  of the program or the purpose of the project,
• 12:44
  then there's a problem. But so far, it's been
• 12:48
  okay. You have to remember that you can tell
• 12:51
  her anyway, that you're not only speaking to
• 12:54
  the people, but you're speaking to their network
• 12:57
  of people. one thing you always learn with networking
• 13:01
  is that you don't always sell, right? You don't
• 13:05
  go out there and just say, this is what I can
• 13:06
  do for you. Go there and just have her listen.
• 13:10
  Just listening is so much more valuable than
• 13:13
  talking. So if you listen and you listen to what
• 13:17
  they're about, because there's an 80 -20 rule,
• 13:20
  80 % they talk, 20%. We talk. Part of our 20
• 13:25
  % is asking questions about their 80%. So you
• 13:30
  can find out more about them and figure, can
• 13:33
  I really help them? Or do I know of somebody
• 13:37
  that can help them? And they can be very, just
• 13:40
  as easy as you saying, you know what? I really
• 13:44
  can't help you, but I know somebody who can.
• 13:46
  Would you like me to introduce you? And then
• 13:49
  if they say yes, absolutely. And you start that.
• 13:52
  Because you have to turn yourself into a connector,
• 13:56
  right? I'm considered a connector because once
• 13:59
  a week, or at least once a week, I take two people,
• 14:02
  I find out what they need, and I connect them.
• 14:05
  I've been doing that for four years. So it's
• 14:08
  very important that they know that they can talk
• 14:10
  to you and say, she may not be able to help me,
• 14:14
  but she may know of somebody who does or who
• 14:18
  can. So that's really the button, too. Okay.
• 14:22
  And same thing here. When someone is going through
• 14:24
  adversity, what separates the people who simply
• 14:28
  say, call me if you need anything, from the people
• 14:32
  who actually show up? The sincerity. That's the
• 14:37
  difference. I've heard a lot of people say, call
• 14:40
  me, call me if you ever need anything. But once
• 14:44
  you're quiet for a long time, it's those people
• 14:46
  who call you that really care about you. So talk
• 14:51
  is cheap. Yeah. You always have to, yes, call
• 14:56
  me if you need anything. But if you don't hear
• 14:58
  from them within three weeks, a month or something
• 15:01
  else like that, you just say, you can pick up
• 15:04
  a call and say, hey, I was just thinking about
• 15:06
  you. How are you doing? Or something to that
• 15:08
  effect. And I recently did that with one of my
• 15:12
  coworkers who I took on as a current client.
• 15:17
  But I did that because I haven't heard him or
• 15:20
  I haven't seen him in the chamber meetings. And
• 15:23
  I called him up and I said, hey, just wanted
• 15:25
  to know what's going on because you missed a
• 15:27
  meeting and I missed talking to you. And he goes,
• 15:30
  oh, I'm so glad you called. I'm inundated with
• 15:32
  work and everything else. Would you know about
• 15:36
  this? And I said, no, I don't. But I know somebody
• 15:39
  who does. I connected them. He called me back
• 15:42
  and I got him as a client. By just me offering
• 15:45
  somebody else that knew what they were doing,
• 15:48
  I didn't, but I knew who to call. So that helped
• 15:53
  them run along. Okay, let me say this. You place
• 15:58
  a strong emphasis on service. How do you serve
• 16:02
  people without secretly keeping score or expecting
• 16:08
  the favor to come back someday? I don't know.
• 16:13
  As in, I forget. I just do things without expecting
• 16:16
  anything in return. This reminds me, there was
• 16:20
  one time I went to an event, I was invited to
• 16:22
  a birthday after service. And I went there and
• 16:27
  four people approached me and they were thanking
• 16:29
  me. I don't even remember them anymore. And they
• 16:33
  said, you helped my father, you helped my parents
• 16:35
  apply for social security. He was paid and we're
• 16:38
  thankful. We can never forget this. And then
• 16:40
  a brother came in and I'm like, when did I help
• 16:43
  them? When did I help them? And my friend said,
• 16:46
  about 10 years ago when you did this seminar.
• 16:49
  And then after the seminar, you helped them actually
• 16:52
  through the process. And I'm thinking, why can't
• 16:55
  I remember? And they said, you don't remember
• 16:57
  because you don't expect anything in return.
• 17:00
  And I said, because they remember my face, they
• 17:03
  remember my name, but I don't. It's because it's
• 17:05
  been so long ago. Didn't know. I didn't know
• 17:10
  how many I helped. I don't get scored. That just
• 17:14
  means that you had that much of an impact on
• 17:17
  them so that they will remember you 10 years
• 17:19
  later and still say, I can call Jane because
• 17:23
  I'll get an answer that way. And that's 10 years.
• 17:25
  So you must have made a huge impact on what they
• 17:30
  were talking about. So that's a very good, that's
• 17:32
  a feather in your cap. In a world increasingly
• 17:36
  shaped by AI, automation, and digital communication,
• 17:42
  will empathy and genuine human connection become
• 17:46
  even more valuable leadership qualities? Yes,
• 17:51
  much more valuable, much more important. Because
• 17:56
  you can plug it in and then the AI is going to
• 17:59
  write it all up for you. It's different. You
• 18:04
  can tell because when you don't take a look at
• 18:07
  the results and tailor it to what you feel, it's
• 18:12
  going to sound robotic. And I can always tell
• 18:14
  when people wrote me or posted something that's
• 18:18
  written by AI because there's no emotion and
• 18:23
  emotional quotient is very important. Yes. In
• 18:28
  relationships. AI does not put that emotion.
• 18:33
  into their answers. They give you the technical
• 18:36
  jargon and you then have to take it and put your
• 18:40
  emotional information into it because it's not
• 18:44
  there yet. AI isn't there yet. And relational,
• 18:48
  I use the pandemic as a line in the sand. Pre
• 18:52
  -pandemic was transactional. Post -pandemic is
• 18:56
  relational. And in order for you to keep that
• 18:58
  relation going, you have to bring in that emotional
• 19:01
  aspect of it. And you have to be human, be yourself.
• 19:05
  And that's what AI can't do. Not yet, but for
• 19:09
  now, the emotional part of being in a relationship,
• 19:13
  business relationship, is so much more important.
• 19:18
  You've worked to create lasting impact in people's
• 19:22
  work and lives. How do you personally measure
• 19:25
  impact? when there's no revenue number, promotion,
• 19:29
  or award attached to it? You mean on my part
• 19:33
  or on their part? On your part. It doesn't matter
• 19:37
  as long as I see them succeed. For example, I
• 19:42
  retired from the federal government last year
• 19:44
  because of all the turmoil of the reorganization
• 19:47
  and all that. And I was thinking if I stayed,
• 19:51
  because my position wasn't affected, if I stayed,
• 19:54
  I'd be doing the work of four people because
• 19:56
  they really... cut us down. So some of my coworkers
• 20:01
  are in danger of losing their jobs. And I, number
• 20:06
  one, I was close to retirement anyway. I was
• 20:09
  going to retire in three years. And I looked
• 20:12
  at my time, my time in government and my age,
• 20:16
  I'm eligible to retire. And so when I went to
• 20:19
  my supervisor and I said, I think I'm going to
• 20:21
  leave. And she said, why? You're a viable employee
• 20:25
  and your position is not affected. And I said,
• 20:28
  look, I don't have a mortgage to pay. I don't
• 20:30
  have any kids to raise. Look at one of my coworkers.
• 20:33
  They have young kids. They were high performance
• 20:37
  the last years. But because of this, they're
• 20:40
  making mistakes. They're crying in the hallway.
• 20:42
  And I said, if I left and you gave my position
• 20:45
  to somebody, then I would be happy. Because I
• 20:47
  can always find something else. So they said
• 20:51
  it's very novel. I don't think about me. I think
• 20:54
  about people and what reward did I get from that?
• 20:56
  Nothing. But it's the satisfaction knowing that
• 20:59
  I probably have been able to help somebody and
• 21:02
  not just somebody, his family or her family.
• 21:05
  So it doesn't matter to me. It's the gratification
• 21:09
  that I feel seeing somebody succeed. It's always
• 21:13
  been like that. I'm not looking for something
• 21:14
  in return. And you hope that they pass it on.
• 21:18
  You did this for them, that they would do something
• 21:21
  good for somebody else. So you hope that passes
• 21:24
  on. Okay. So let's bring this podcast full circle.
• 21:27
  If someone listening today is going through their
• 21:30
  own fire, what would you want them to understand
• 21:33
  about the relationships they're building and
• 21:37
  the person they're becoming during the season?
• 21:41
  You will eventually realize that you have to
• 21:51
  ask your question. Don't ask the question, why
• 21:53
  is this happening to me? You ask the question.
• 21:56
  What is this preparing me for? And if you realize
• 22:01
  that, then when you become, when you are beyond
• 22:04
  that challenge, then you realize that you become
• 22:07
  a stronger person. You realize that you have
• 22:11
  had resources during that period that made you
• 22:14
  survive. And then you realize, okay, I want to
• 22:17
  develop myself into something greater than when
• 22:19
  I was. It's just the way of, you just have to
• 22:23
  change your mindset. You have to change your
• 22:28
  mindset. Stop questioning why me? Why is this
• 22:32
  happening to me or blaming somebody? Just start
• 22:34
  thinking about what is this making? What is the
• 22:37
  purpose of this? What is this developing me into?
• 22:43
  What is this preparing me for? And then you realize
• 22:47
  that you have the skills you didn't know. You
• 22:50
  didn't know that you can grade it, that you can
• 22:53
  take it and you can become a stronger person.
• 22:58
  Good, good, great. That's great news. Great information.
• 23:02
  Here's what I want you to remember. Adversity
• 23:05
  may shape your story. Oh, wait, before I go into
• 23:08
  that, Jane, I'm sorry. You were just such a fabulous
• 23:12
  guest. We got to learn all about what really
• 23:17
  makes you go. And the book you wrote, if somebody
• 23:22
  wants to get hold of you, either just to say
• 23:24
  hello or to be mentored by you. How should they
• 23:27
  get hold of you? You can just give me a call
• 23:30
  or find me on Facebook. I also have a website.
• 23:34
  It's www .janeroland .com. And there's a contact.
• 23:40
  There's a message there where you can contact
• 23:42
  me and send me a message and I'll call them right
• 23:44
  away. As soon as I see it. Okay. Okay. And now
• 23:50
  let me go back. So here's what I want you to
• 23:52
  remember. Adversity may shape your story. But
• 23:56
  what you do with your story shapes your impact.
• 23:59
  Your strongest relationships aren't always the
• 24:03
  people who celebrate you at the top. They're
• 24:06
  often the people who stood beside you during
• 24:08
  the climb and the people you choose to reach
• 24:11
  back and help afterwards. If you enjoyed today's
• 24:15
  episode, follow and subscribe to Network Unleashed,
• 24:18
  building profitable connections for more conversations
• 24:21
  about networking, communication, leadership,
• 24:24
  and relationships that matter. And share this
• 24:27
  episode with someone who's going through their
• 24:29
  own fire right now. They may need to hear it.
• 24:33
  I'm Michael Foreman. Remember, don't just survive
• 24:36
  the fire. Use what's taught you in the light.
• 24:39
  I'm sorry. Use what it taught you to light the
• 24:43
  way for someone else. Jane, I want to thank you
• 24:46
  again for coming on the podcast. You're a wonderful
• 24:49
  guest. Thank you so much, Michael. Thank you
• 24:52
  so much. I appreciate this. A huge thank you
• 24:58
  to our guests for sharing such incredible insights
• 25:01
  today. And of course, a big shout out to you,
• 25:04
  our amazing listeners, for tuning in and spending
• 25:08
  your time with us. If you're interested in my
• 25:10
  digital courses, being coached or having me come
• 25:13
  and talk to your company, just go to Michael
• 25:17
  and fill out the request form. Remember, networking
• 25:20
  isn't about being perfect. It's about being present.
• 25:24
  So take what you've learned today, get out there
• 25:27
  and make some meaningful connections. If you've
• 25:30
  enjoyed this episode, please don't forget to
• 25:33
  subscribe. Leave us a review. and share it with
• 25:36
  someone who could use a little networking inspiration.
• 25:39
  Let's keep the conversation going. You can find
• 25:42
  me on Apple, Spotify, Pandora, YouTube, or my
• 25:47
  website, foreman .com slash podcasts.