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Are You Afraid of Success? · The Daily Writer

• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome everybody to the Born to Create podcast.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Kent Sanders, and I'm your host.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm an author, musician, and teacher.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: But most importantly, I'm a husband and a dad.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Here on the show we talk about practices, habits, and strategies that help us live out our creative calling.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is episode eight, and today's topic is Are You Afraid of Success?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: You can find the post that accompanies this episode, as well as all the links, at KentSanders.net slash afraid of success, and that's Afraid dash of dash success.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I recently launched a new Facebook group called Born to Create.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Every week I pose several questions to the group to help us engage our creative powers and take action.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: When I asked the group to share a problem or a struggle they're currently dealing with, one of the members said the number one fight is definitely fear.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not finishing, fear of too many things.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: I thought his comment was really insightful because the fear of success seems totally counterintuitive.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, if success is something we all want, why would we fear it?
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it turns out that success, just like failure, comes with his own set of fears that can't hold us back.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And the only way to face your fears is to expose them.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: So in this episode, we're going to explore four fears related to success as well as some strategies to deal with each of them.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: These fears are common to anybody who wants to achieve more in life, particularly artists.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: And within that group of artists, I'm including writers, people who work with media, musicians, anybody who does any kind of creative work.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And my hope is that this episode will help you acknowledge your fears and take action in spite of them.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: So let's dive in.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Fear number one is my success will expose me as a fraud.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I remember when I launched my book, The Artist Suitcase, a couple of years ago, despite the fact that I've been involved in the creative arts my whole adult life, and really in my whole youth, I mean from the time I was in junior high, and I've been teaching in that area well for over a decade, I was afraid somebody would call me out for being a fake.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: I know that sounds crazy because I've been involved in the arts for literally decades of my life, but when I put this book out there into the world, I was still afraid that somebody would say, Oh, you're not a real artist, or you don't know what you're talking about, or some other kind of criticism.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the truth is that whenever we put our work out there for people to enjoy, we do so with a deep knowledge of our failures and our shortcomings.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's really easy to feel like the art police are somehow going to come and take our badge away because we're not perfect.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing could be further from the truth, however.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: The only way that you can be considered a fraud is if you claim to be somebody that you're not.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's not failure that makes you a fraud, it's dishonesty.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Failure doesn't make you a fraud, failure makes you human.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the action step to help deal with this fear.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Remember that your imperfections and flaws don't detract from your art, rather, your imperfections and flaws are a key part of your art.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Fear number two is my success is just a fluke.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Success is kind of a funny thing.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Most of the time it's the product of years of hard work, but there are times when success comes really quickly to somebody as a result of favorable circumstances or they met the right person or some other stroke of luck.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: For example, nobody would argue that Rebecca Black's infamous song Friday really deserved its enormous success based on just its artistic merit.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: However, she found herself at the center of worldwide attention for a brief period of time because that song went viral.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: The real question isn't whether your success was a fluke.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, I think the real question is what you do as a follow-up.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a true artist, you'll continue to create despite the ups and downs of fame and the shifting winds of taste and culture.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, you can check out episode six of the podcast, where we explore some lessons we can learn from the singer Tony Bennett and his insistence on excellence over the long haul.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if we insist on excellence over the long haul, that will ensure that our success isn't just some fluke, but rather it's the result of persistence and hard work over time.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the action step we can take to deal with this fear of feeling like our success is just a fluke.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: We can worry less about the ups and downs of success that are out of our control, and instead we can focus on consistently doing excellent work.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Here's fear number three.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: My success will make me accountable for more results.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there are certain things in life that reveal who we truly are, and success is one of those things.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think money and adversity are two of the other major forces that really reveal our character in life.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: When you're successful, other people begin to expect more of you.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: People look to you as an example and they wonder what you're going to produce next.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you've built up good habits of success into your life, this is not going to be a problem.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: You have the emotional infrastructure to handle success as well as the pressure and responsibility that come with it.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: But if your success has come really quickly and you haven't built up the good habits, you're going to resent the added pressure and the responsibility of having more eyeballs on your work.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Is your art all about you or is it all about your audience?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you see your art as a way to serve your audience, you'll embrace success as a way to provide greater service to more people.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: But if your art is all about you, you'll be tempted to take shortcuts and only do things that are personally profitable for you.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: So here's an action step for dealing with this fear.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Search your heart to make sure that you're creating art for the right reasons.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's great to be profitable, but profit is only a means to the greater end of serving others, creating a better future for yourself and your loved ones, and adding value and beauty to the world.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: So profit and wealth, those aren't things that necessarily have intrinsic value.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: They're only valuable insofar as they help you achieve those other goals in life.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Fear number four is my success will make me more vulnerable to critics.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I've got to just be really honest with you, this is a tough one for me.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: I hate conflict, I hate disagreements, and I don't like being at odds with anybody.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Although, to be honest with you, I can deal with this a lot better than when I was younger.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: When you put your art out there into the world, it becomes a potential target for critics.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's true that success makes you more vulnerable to critics and the haters, but success also makes it possible to reach more people and touch more lives.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: And the percentage of people who will actively dislike you is pretty small compared to those who will absolutely love you.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Also, something to keep in mind with this whole issue of dealing with criticism is to remember that your critics are not necessarily always wrong.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, sometimes your critics can make really valid points that you need to take into consideration, even though they might say it in a way that's offensive or mean or hurtful.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Critics can make you bitter, or critics can make you better.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: The choice is yours and how you deal with them.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: So here's an action step to help us deal with this fear of success making us more vulnerable to our critics.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it's this accept the fact that you're always going to have critics and commit to using criticism to help you improve.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: These four fears are very real and they can paralyze you if you let them.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: You can't ever really eliminate fear, but you can take action in spite of it.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Even better, you can use your fear as a stepping stone rather than seeing it as a stumbling block.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: What fears do you have as an artist and how have you dealt with them?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear your thoughts.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can join the conversation and find the post and the links that accompany this episode at KentSanders.net slash afraid of success.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's Afraid dash of dash success.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: When you visit my site, you'll find all kinds of great resources to inspire your creative life.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also love to share a gift with you when you subscribe to my newsletter.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can check it out as well as learn more about my books, writing, and services at KentSanders.net.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to connect with you and you can send me a tweet at Kent Sanders, and you can find me on Facebook and Instagram as Kent Sanders.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you'll also check out our Born to Create Facebook group by visiting KentSanders.net slash Facebook group.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, remember that you were born to create and designed to make a difference.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: What will you do with the time you have left?