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Transcript

Rebelz @ Heart · The No Cry Zone

• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, I'm Jim Best, and you are now in the No Cry Zone, where we are committed to a positive change that is doable and durable.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I was thinking recently about this idea of being a rebel at heart.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: Thinking about it so much that I wrote the lyrics for a song called Rebels at Heart, expressing many of the twists and turns of social compliance and living authentically.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: Brazen Candor turned it into a great song, and we're looking forward to sharing it with you in a preview at halftime in today's No Cry Zone.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: Rebels at Heart.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: That's sort of today's topic.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: However, we're going to approach it with a unique twist.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: First, we're going to look at the dangers and sacrifices of being overly compliant with social expectations and how that can lead into a sad, unsatisfying complacency.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: Secondly, we're going to look at how being a rebel at heart is actually accepting the invitation and challenge of being our authentic selves, and how to do that effectively and with pleasure.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: Now, immediately, when people hear the word rebel, they tend to picture somebody causing trouble, somebody reckless, somebody fighting authority, somebody who can't get along with society.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: For many people, the word rebel conjures images of James Dean, the rebel without a cause, whose car crash death seemed to portend a fate that might befall all rebels.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_02: But that's not really how our minds work, is it?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: At least I think it's fair to say that most people don't really want to be outright rebellious.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: But I do think what many people truly want is permission to feel great, know, fantastic for being themselves.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: And there's a major difference.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: See, a lot of people are not living bad lives, they're living overly compliant lives.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: And that starts early, doesn't it?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: Remember?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_02: Don't interrupt.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: Raise your hand.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: Wait your turn.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: Don't embarrass yourself.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_02: Don't color outside those lines.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: Don't cut across the neighbor's lawn.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: Even on Halloween.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_02: And the unforgettable.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: Ready?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_02: Set go.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: Don't move until somebody tells you it's okay.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: Wait for permission.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: Now listen, some of that is necessary.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: Civilization requires cooperation, I suppose.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: Families require structure.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_02: Schools require order.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: Laws do matter.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_02: But over time many people slowly move from learning structure to surrendering themselves.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: And that's where the danger begins.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: Because eventually you stop asking, What do I really want?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: What actually matters to me?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: What kind of life would feel deeply right to me?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: Instead, we begin worrying and fretting my two least favorite things in the current world.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: What will people approve of?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: What will make me look respectable?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: What will avoid criticism?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: What will keep everybody comfortable?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: And before long you can become highly edited, highly managed, highly approved of perhaps, but highly constricted.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: And sadly, maybe tragically, you become disconnected from yourself.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's the hidden danger of overcompliance.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of people spend years waiting, waiting for permission, waiting for approval, waiting for recognition, waiting for promotion, waiting for somebody to say, Now you may live your life.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: Waiting, waiting, waiting.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_02: And meanwhile, their authentic self slowly gets quieter, smaller, less meaningful, maybe even becoming irrelevant?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: I hope not, because we've got a simple solve coming up in part two.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: First, as promised, here's Brazen Candor and Rebels at Heart.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Not like they're watching everything I do.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how to standin' the community, but they might still ribble at heart Still Rebel at Heart.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, welcome back.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: Now let me be very clear here.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: I am not advocating recklessness.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not advocating selfishness.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not saying ignore laws or responsibilities or commitments.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm certainly not suggesting we should be immature, impetuous, impulsive, or act in any way that will alienate those who truly matter to us.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: I'm talking about something much deeper.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm talking about becoming a rebel at heart.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Meaning you stop surrendering your entire identity to social expectations.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: You stop shaping every word, every dream, every decision around what will be safest socially.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: Now some may say, Well, I don't do that all the time, I don't do every word.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, but we're talking about the basic majority of actions or inactions as a result of social conformance.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: You begin reclaiming your own thoughts, ideas, ideals, feelings, and opinions when you embrace being a rebel at heart.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: Because many people never betray society.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, they focus much of their energy to being what we quaintly label well behaved, but quietly betray themselves for decades.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: So let's pause for a moment.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_02: Well behaved.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: Is that what you'd want to be remembered as?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: Well behaved?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: Not to be grim, but is that what you'd like to appear on your tombstone?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: All in all, he was quite well behaved, or above all, she was rather obedient.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: Many people become affixed to following the rules, not making waves, fitting in, they behave, and in doing so betray themselves.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: And that is a heavy thought, isn't it?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I think a lot of people feel it.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: They've done what they're supposed to do, they've been responsible, they've worked hard, they've tried to fit in, they've tried to be respectable, they try to go by the rules, but somewhere deep inside there's still this quiet voice saying, There has to be more of me than this.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: That voice matters.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm encouraging you to listen to it.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: And being a rebel at heart doesn't mean becoming difficult.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: It means becoming authentic.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_02: It means thinking for yourself, speaking more honestly, allowing yourself to want what you truly want.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: Wearing what feels like you, creating instead of merely complying, setting boundaries, living intentionally instead of automatically.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes the rebel at heart is actually very responsible externally.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: They pay their taxes, they love their family, they work hard, they contribute to society, but internally they refuse to disappear.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's the key.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: The rebel at heart is not trying to destroy society.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_02: He's trying not to lose himself inside of it.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's one reason so many people secretly love rebels in stories, music, movies, and songs.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: Not because they want chaos, but because they want freedom, aliveness, authenticity, courage.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: They want to feel comfortable in their own skin, being their authentic self.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: And here's the beautiful thing: you do not have to become outrageous to reclaim yourself.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes that rebellion can be very quiet.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's simply telling the truth, starting that business you dreamed of writing the book, wearing the hat you love, changing direction, saying no or saying yes, laughing louder, dreaming bigger, or finally admitting this life I'm living doesn't fully fit me anymore.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: That's not immaturity, that's awakening in a positive sense.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe the goal is not to become rebellious against everything.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe the goal is to become loyal to yourself again, to become a rebel at heart, not destructive, not reckless, not hostile, not wide, not unreasonable, not flailing about looking for anything that feels like attention.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: Just authentic.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: Authentically you, something no one else can ever do or be.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: I love that idea, don't you?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: Because at the end of the day, one of the saddest things in life would be becoming so socially polished that you no longer recognize yourself.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: Rebel by being your authentic self.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_02: Get up to speed with us on Upwards Best and check out Momentum GPS for extra great content.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: Many of you have noticed our new brand statement, a nice blend of encouragement and invitation.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: It is Aspire.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_02: Come upwards with us.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: Now as you listen to Brazen Candor sing about being rebels at heart, make sure you have a great week and get ready on reluctance day approaches.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for joining.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: Next week, you and me, let's do it again.