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Bonus IMPROV - Hot Monica · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome to friends like us bonus improv we are going to get a suggestion from our producer joe
• 0:22
  and then we're gonna riff and then we're gonna do a scene riffing a scene joe what is our
• 0:26
  suggestion your suggestion is spirituality spirituality oh spirituality
• 0:35
  you're a universe guy right totally yeah i'm in it right now what i'm touching it
• 0:44
  no get your hands off my universe too late you're molesting the universe right now whoa whoa
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  we're an unestablished
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  I'm done
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  okay
• 0:56
  what's your biggest
• 0:59
  belief
• 1:01
  universe wise maybe something that's
• 1:03
  not like I know people like say like
• 1:05
  putting things out into the universe like
• 1:07
  that's a common universe thing
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  what do you like what's something that
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  you believe you can
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  like
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  like if I always drive in the right lane
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  then I'll hit all the green lights
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  or something like that.
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  Do you have anything like that?
• 1:24
  No.
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  I do have,
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  so this is not mine,
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  but I think it's from,
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  what's that?
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  That,
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  is it Douglas Adams?
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  Is that the author
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  or a founding father?
• 1:34
  It's the author.
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  Okay, that's it.
• 1:36
  Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
• 1:37
  Yeah.
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  Something about how,
• 1:38
  like,
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  if anyone ever,
• 1:40
  like,
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  guessed the true nature
• 1:41
  of the universe,
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  it would change immediately.
• 1:44
  Oh.
• 1:44
  And I think about that a lot.
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  Like,
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  what if you actually got it right?
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  then like
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  maybe it would change.
• 1:51
  So the universe is kind of like
• 1:52
  a defiant hipster like
• 1:54
  Well I'm not doing that now.
• 1:56
  Yeah exactly.
• 1:57
  Now there is a hell.
• 2:00
  Just because you.
• 2:01
  See you guessed it.
• 2:03
  Little asshole.
• 2:04
  I'm naming it after you.
• 2:06
  It's called asshole.
• 2:07
  Asshole.
• 2:09
  I thought you meant like Jeff.
• 2:12
  We're all gonna go to Jeff when we die.
• 2:14
  It's hot in here.
• 2:16
  See you in Jeff.
• 2:18
  yeah do you have anything um i don't i don't know no probably not
• 2:28
  but then i feel like maybe am i leaving cards on the table there like leaving money on the table
• 2:34
  by not like doing some more like superstitious universe stuff like what if it actually works
• 2:40
  and i'm just not trying it you gotta start trying stuff man i okay do you ever i like just
• 2:47
  any like a recommendation for anything or i say look for the glitches because for example i i
• 2:54
  recently found a glitch in the universe um and i know i right yeah and so it like katya anytime now you could beam me up I done So I was looking at did I tell you this
• 3:07
  About looking at like million dollar houses all over the country?
• 3:11
  Oh, you've told me about doing that.
• 3:14
  Yeah.
• 3:14
  Yeah, it's a daily thing.
• 3:15
  Anyway, I found one.
• 3:18
  It's like a super nice.
• 3:20
  It wasn't super nice.
• 3:22
  But it was actually kind of cheap.
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  I'm sorry.
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  All over the place.
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  It was like one and a half million dollars.
• 3:27
  I was like looking at the pictures.
• 3:28
  I'm like, oh, this is not bad to be near the beach.
• 3:30
  And then I went to the kitchen and there was no fridge.
• 3:35
  And no place for, you're remembering now.
• 3:37
  I do remember now, yeah.
• 3:38
  And no place for a fridge.
• 3:39
  And an otherwise fully developed modern kitchen.
• 3:42
  Get the hell out of here.
• 3:44
  You think that's a glitch in the universe and not just someone lying about a listing?
• 3:50
  Wouldn't you just put a fridge in if you were going to sell your house on a beach?
• 3:53
  well like what if you did like that's like something like an ai generated image would
• 3:57
  that like would miss a fridge
• 3:59
  no oh okay it's a glitch all right i don't know why you're not more excited because i just proved
• 4:09
  that we're sims well characters and is that why you always want to pee on things
• 4:19
  because you're a little sim scared that's why i always jump up and down when i get excited
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  that's why a little bubble goes over our heads
• 4:26
  you know when the first the first time you could have sex in the sims it was a
• 4:32
  like you would get you would click on the bed and then click make love or whatever it was
• 4:37
  and it was just like a cloud of like like movement and then you feel like like like cats yeah and
• 4:45
  then it would be over and that was it i used to do that all the time
• 4:48
  and now improv
• 4:53
  gerard can i talk to you for a minute monica what's up uh well i was just um i was just in
• 5:05
  the living room and i was just watching tv and then all of a sudden our walls started moving
• 5:14
  and we no longer have a couch.
• 5:21
  Let me just ask you,
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  and I need you to be honest with me.
• 5:23
  Okay.
• 5:26
  Did you correctly guess the universe's deal again?
• 5:32
  No.
• 5:32
  Oh, I know you're lying, Monica.
• 5:34
  I'm sorry.
• 5:35
  It just seems so obvious.
• 5:37
  You gotta stop too.
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  When we finally settle into a nice universe,
• 5:42
  one that we can get comfortable in
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  and then you have to go and call it out
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  you know that makes the universe angry
• 5:50
  well maybe don't put three outlets right next to each other
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  and expect me not to know something's up
• 5:55
  just can't you just keep your mouth shut about it
• 5:58
  it was we had a really nice place it still nice No our walls are leaking blood now Hold on
• 6:10
  All right, I see your point.
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  Thank you.
• 6:13
  Thank you.
• 6:14
  So we have to move again?
• 6:16
  Yeah, we gotta do something.
• 6:17
  Or can you maybe convince the universe that that was a mistake?
• 6:23
  All right, I'll talk to him.
• 6:25
  Thank you, I would appreciate it.
• 6:27
  yes hey it's me god gerard yeah i i know who you are hey um don't even try and tell me you
• 6:42
  know my deal again i was i i swear i'm done with that i'm done my my my love yeah monica
• 6:50
  he's upset about the total peace by the way okay i mean yeah yeah that's like good for
• 6:57
  you man yeah it's the alpha and the omega for me yeah i don't go i don't care what's going on ear
• 7:01
  to ear you know i get it i get it brother god i love monica um oh man you i'm blushing you may
• 7:09
  forget what i was even here sorry you were gonna tell me you're not gonna you're not here to mess
• 7:13
  up my deal oh yeah yeah can we just can things just go back to the way they were maybe just give
• 7:19
  us a new thing i promise i swear god i won't question it i'll just accept it i'll live in it
• 7:27
  i you keep saying this man and then you keep just like calling things out and please okay
• 7:37
  you know you know i can't resist that voice i know
• 7:40
  all right which version do you want me to put it back to dealer's choice
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  all right well now i'm gonna have a little fun with it oh don't be don't be a goose
• 7:51
  uh okay all right all right i'm gonna go back to version 71439 okay i don't know that one
• 8:02
  off the top of my head door open or door closed uh closed please all right thanks god nice guy
• 8:10
  um
• 8:12
  Gerard
• 8:14
  hey babe
• 8:15
  hey um
• 8:17
  yeah thank you
• 8:19
  you didn't have to tell me how hot I am
• 8:21
  did I tell you God thinks it too
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  oh that's sweet
• 8:25
  I mean you gotta feel pretty effing special
• 8:27
  well
• 8:28
  I mean he loves all his creatures right
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  that's what he says
• 8:32
  anyway
• 8:34
  you had a talk
• 8:37
  with the universe didn't you
• 8:39
  you can't what are you unhappy with i thought i was fixing things
• 8:45
  we're in 71493 aren't we he put us back to 71493 oh is this 71493 yeah
• 8:56
  this is the one where we live in a commune you didn notice that i thought these were your friends No you You think these dirty barefoot
• 9:10
  people are my friends?
• 9:12
  Don't talk about your friends.
• 9:13
  There's a drum circle over there.
• 9:15
  Okay.
• 9:16
  I...
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  I can't...
• 9:20
  Monica, if I start questioning things,
• 9:22
  we're gonna end up with
• 9:24
  turkey of faucets or something.
• 9:26
  Anything is better than this.
• 9:28
  I can't do this communal living.
• 9:29
  I need walls. I need structure. I need my own bathroom.
• 9:35
  I need to not eat vegan. Please, Gerard.
• 9:40
  Question the universe. Get us a new one.
• 9:42
  I'm just concerned if I question it one more time.
• 9:46
  God's gonna be pissed.
• 9:49
  I don't... What are you more afraid of? God being pissed or me being pissed?
• 9:53
  God?
• 9:55
  Yup.
• 9:57
  It's me, Gerard.
• 9:58
  God damn it, Gerard.
• 9:59
  I'm sorry.
• 10:01
  Why that one?
• 10:02
  Why the drummers?
• 10:03
  Why the cheese?
• 10:04
  You told me.
• 10:05
  You said dealer's choice.
• 10:07
  I went with it.
• 10:09
  I think that's a fun way to live.
• 10:11
  Let me explain this in a way you will understand.
• 10:13
  Go on.
• 10:14
  You're making hot Monica sad.
• 10:18
  Look, you're making hot God sad every time you guess my deal, man.
• 10:26
  It's just hard for me to.
• 10:28
  Oh, no.
• 10:29
  What?
• 10:30
  I just realized the only way for Monica to be happy
• 10:32
  is if I'm not with her.
• 10:35
  Because I'm always going to be.
• 10:36
  That's what I do.
• 10:36
  I question the universe.
• 10:39
  You saying Monica's going to be single?
• 10:42
  Whoa.
• 10:44
  Okay, you can give her a little time to grieve.
• 10:47
  You're not going to move right in.
• 10:49
  No, I'll give it a...
• 10:50
  I'll give it 12 hours.
• 10:52
  I'll give it a purge length of time.
• 10:56
  Thanks.
• 10:58
  just so I'm
• 11:00
  wait so you're not gonna guess my deal now
• 11:02
  you're just gonna leave Monica
• 11:03
  I want her to be happy
• 11:04
  if this is what it takes
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  sweet
• 11:07
  I'm a good good man
• 11:09
  I probably shouldn't be telling you this
• 11:11
  because it's like now me
• 11:12
  but
• 11:14
  this was kind of my plan the whole time
• 11:16
  I wanted Monica
• 11:18
  I wanted Monica
• 11:20
  oh crap but I just told you my deal
• 11:24
  oh so now I gotta reset the universe again
• 11:27
  no I'm running toward the button
• 11:28
  No!
• 11:30
  Button press.
• 11:32
  Too late.
• 11:35
  Babe.
• 11:37
  Yeah?
• 11:39
  Gerard?
• 11:41
  Your face!
• 11:42
  No!
• 11:43
  No!
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  Your beautiful face!
• 11:45
  What have you done?
• 11:46
  Damn you, God!
• 11:49
  And scene.
• 11:58
  We'll be right back.