Latest / MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose / Episode 131: How’d I Miss That? My Mom Talks Marriage, Parenting, Faith (and the one time she cussed)

Transcript

Episode 131: How’d I Miss That? My Mom Talks Marriage, Parenting, Faith (and the one time she cussed) · MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose

0:06
[SPEAKER_00]: This is Cynthia Gannoff and you are listening to the mesmerized podcast.
0:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey friends, welcome to the podcast and welcome to this little series that I hope you're enjoying as much as I am.
0:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Where we are talking about my new book, how do I miss that?
0:23
[SPEAKER_00]: But really we're talking to people from my past, people in my family, people who make me laugh and we're just having a good time with good conversations.
0:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And today you guys, my mom is on the podcast and you are going to love her because she's so funny.
0:37
[SPEAKER_00]: She was so nervous to come on, she kept saying she's going to tank my ratings and I was like listen, I don't know what the ratings are anyway, so we got nothing to lose, but we got a good chuckle over that, but she's going to talk to us how parenting and marriage and just doing the hard things and man.
0:51
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm great wisdom coming up a whole lot of laughs and so I would say more but listen,
0:56
[SPEAKER_00]: My family's leaving for Disney in about, um, an hour and 20 minutes and I'm going to miss a plane.
1:02
[SPEAKER_00]: So off to Disney we go, can't wait for you to hear this podcast would love for you to share it with your friends and of course, if you have a pre-order to book, it would mean so much to me.
1:13
[SPEAKER_00]: If you would grab a copy of Out, I miss that.
1:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, here we go with my mom, Dorothy Broken.
1:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I sent me out.
1:22
[SPEAKER_00]: There are times to charm.
1:23
[SPEAKER_00]: We've really started this thing three times.
1:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think this is a good sign.
1:28
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think it is in there.
1:29
[SPEAKER_01]: I've told you I was scared to death because I thought your ratings were gonna plummet when they hear that your mother's on here.
1:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know the answer.
1:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know the answer.
1:37
[SPEAKER_01]: You can move and leave how weird this is.
1:40
[SPEAKER_01]: All those years, I prayed for you as you were growing up.
1:43
[SPEAKER_01]: For a great girl in high school, everything.
1:46
[SPEAKER_01]: How God would you use you?
1:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Never dreamed.
1:49
[SPEAKER_01]: that you would be the queen of podcasts.
1:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I didn't even know what a podcast will.
1:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, either, like the roller road podcast back then.
1:55
[SPEAKER_00]: No, they're definitely one.
1:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sure you know what one is now.
1:59
[SPEAKER_00]: If we're honest, I'm not either.
2:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not.
2:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I have to try and three times to get on.
2:05
[SPEAKER_00]: trying to get you to cut and paste a link and get into the podcast.
2:11
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a process everyone, but we're here.
2:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
2:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
2:17
[SPEAKER_00]: So that was kind of the idea behind the series on the podcast was that I was going to bring in.
2:22
[SPEAKER_00]: People are talked about friends and blast from the past and so it's been fun as we're talking kind of through the book and just talking out live to connect with so many people and so I thought well, of course, we're going to bring on my mom and and you and on behalf of the family have a complaint to lodge about me writing books in particular how your reference does that correct.
2:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, many times you throw in some of the books.
2:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And in this most recent book, and I want the audience to hear this, you really throw us under the book, under the bus, because you say that you have absolutely no culture, no culture.
3:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And I just want to remind you of the cultural things that we exposed you to, and I did have a ways of.
3:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you remember Pampatexus and how we rode down the hill on pieces of cardboard?
3:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you remember floating down the Rio Grande?
3:21
[SPEAKER_01]: On a hovercraft or writing on the back of a dirt bug with your brother or you remember the times that we snuck off to Laura's when dad said, I don't want you girls going to or is and we went over there and we went to the big market.
3:38
[SPEAKER_01]: We bought those cheap fake persons and the time that we almost locked the keys in the car.
3:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember all of it.
3:46
[SPEAKER_01]: like spruised you to a lot of culture.
3:49
[SPEAKER_00]: You just didn't have so much.
3:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I think you lost the, I think you lost a soul at loss cruises, whereas Mexico, cardboard boxes.
3:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, need, I think the case is concluded at that.
4:01
[SPEAKER_00]: We had a lot of fun.
4:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to tell you something else behind the scenes.
4:08
[SPEAKER_00]: We grew up, and I grew up in El Paso.
4:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm all in data from that area, everyone.
4:13
[SPEAKER_00]: El Paso, if you don't know this, if you're not in Texas, it's border, literally on the border of Mexico.
4:18
[SPEAKER_00]: and New Mexico.
4:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And so to get over to war as is, you know, a 10-minute drive, but you're crossing into another country.
4:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And in recent years, it's been very dangerous.
4:29
[SPEAKER_00]: When I was younger there, it was not.
4:32
[SPEAKER_00]: However, y'all are gonna die when I tell you this.
4:35
[SPEAKER_00]: My mom and I went there sometimes and got pedicures.
4:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, it's a wonder where's still a lot.
4:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, and when I was young, you know, just married and we live there, I would go over and get my hair done over there and they would wash it and shampoo it.
4:53
[SPEAKER_01]: in beer, so it would last all week long.
4:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, well, there you go, that's hilarious.
5:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, Mom, thanks for being here.
5:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry that you feel as though you all have been thrown into the bus, and you have, let's talk about this.
5:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Did you think that like growing up or you like this girl is gonna write a book one day or this girl's like, was that, I mean, was I a writer?
5:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Was I one that enjoyed sitting in contemplating thoughts?
5:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Tell us about that.
5:23
[SPEAKER_01]: In fact, when you were a great school junior high and you would study for a test, you would just go to the end of the chapter.
5:32
[SPEAKER_01]: You wouldn't read the whole thing.
5:33
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, you just go to the end of the chapter and try to get the message.
5:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And I had to go over and over and over with you.
5:39
[SPEAKER_01]: So no, for you to write a book, never, never.
5:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Now you've always been a person with lots of words.
5:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I'm not surprised that you do podcasts or that you speak.
5:52
[SPEAKER_01]: But never write a book, but you know, like I said at the beginning, I just prayed God, you know, how are you going to use her use her some way mighty, you know, as an adult to follow you and to share your message and who knew, who know well.
6:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so thankful for all you and dad have done over the years and the fact that you're showing up on this podcast and you don't even exactly know what a podcast is.
6:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Although you listen to mine some, and so we're going to talk about a few things and really the hope is just to laugh a little bit, give some behind the scenes on, on,
6:29
[SPEAKER_00]: the book but also just growing up and I think you have such wisdom and so I'm excited for you to share some of that.
6:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's talk parenting first and I don't know if you read the part in the book where I talked about the little pink journal that you gave me.
6:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and when we're going to do you remember because I had no clue that I still have it.
6:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So you gave me a little pink journal when Kate was born.
6:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Kate is what 22 now.
6:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And so almost 23.
6:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you gave it to me and I still have it.
6:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And I, you said, this is for Mother's Day.
7:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Your first Mother's Day as a mom.
7:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And I am going to give you this so you can journal your days with your daughter.
7:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I journal approximately four things, like four different dates, and then I, that was the end of it for me apparently I was a bad journaler.
7:16
[SPEAKER_00]: But I, in this book, I kind of write a today journal, like things that I would have wanted to tell myself back then.
7:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, 22 years in a parenting things, if I could say like, hey, here's some things I wish I would have known.
7:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, that's in the book.
7:33
[SPEAKER_00]: You can read it in the book, everyone, but I'm just curious with you, like if you could tell young Cynthia some parenting advice or young anyone listening as someone who's raised three kids, my brothers, I've twin brothers, everyone that are five years older than I am, and what would you, what would be your parenting advice?
7:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, well, my first answer would be pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, you know, that's a given.
7:59
[SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, I think parenting today is challenging.
8:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, there's so many options.
8:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Good options, you know, for kids.
8:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, all kinds of sports events, academic events, technology, and I think that, you know, all that boils down, those are good things, but parents have to make choices.
8:19
[SPEAKER_01]: And I love the sentence that you put in that chapter where you said your best parenting advice that somebody gave you was, what do you want your child to look like 25 years from now?
8:30
[SPEAKER_01]: and then move toward that.
8:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's really true.
8:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that today that parents have to evaluate.
8:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And what is urgent in the moment, which seems so urgent in the moment, is really not that urgent.
8:45
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's not about the nicest birthday party because so and so had one, you know, it's not about what kind of prom dress, even though those things are important and they're fun,
8:59
[SPEAKER_01]: they are not the most important thing and yet we seem to make that the most important thing and and I would say another thing is don't compare.
9:09
[SPEAKER_01]: have good friends that you can share honestly with that you can say my child excels in this but I'm really struggling here and that also that you can talk with them.
9:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I see that your child is struggling here and you pray for each other but you also can be authentic with each other and you need a sounding board.
9:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes you get so involved with it that you can't really see it
9:38
[SPEAKER_01]: to have friends that you can share those struggles with.
9:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I think you just pray over your choices.
9:44
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, what is best for our family?
9:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Is it sports?
9:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Is it not doing sports as a mister?
9:53
[SPEAKER_01]: You know?
9:56
[SPEAKER_01]: So that you look at the long term and what is most important.
10:00
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, you had a friend on recently that said something that that was really, really wise because relationships are so important today and they can need to be healthy or they cannot be healthy.
10:14
[SPEAKER_01]: And this person was saying at the time that her daughter was kind of an ugly duckling and an awkward stage and that she wanted to fix everything for her daughter and then God
10:29
[SPEAKER_01]: for the enemies.
10:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's, you know, that's not easy for us to do.
10:33
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think that's so wise.
10:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I think first of all, it's the right thing to do.
10:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Second of all, I think it's a lesson for your children.
10:42
[SPEAKER_01]: You let them know.
10:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, we're going to pray for those girls.
10:45
[SPEAKER_01]: If they're being mean to you, we're going to pray for this situation.
10:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever, that's unfair.
10:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's a life lesson, you know, that you can learn.
10:53
[SPEAKER_01]: So,
10:54
[SPEAKER_01]: I would just say, and then, you know, you also point out something in that chapter about the in-between moments.
11:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And I've thought about that.
11:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you remember when you were probably in junior high and you would come in the afternoon and you tell your books in the chair and the damn, yeah, and I'd send you, go get your books in your room.
11:11
[SPEAKER_01]: It's really dawned on me that one day, you know those books aren't going to be there.
11:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Why am I making an issue?
11:18
[SPEAKER_01]: The minute you walk in the door.
11:20
[SPEAKER_01]: over those books when I could be saying to you, tell me about your day, what happened?
11:26
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, what's going on in your life?
11:27
[SPEAKER_01]: What's happening with your friends?
11:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Those in-between moments that are not high points, you know, of childhood, but they matter.
11:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, so this is some things I think.
11:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I like, I like all of that and I like that and I think I talk about this when I speak a lot.
11:46
[SPEAKER_00]: If we live in a culture that wants us, it convinces us that things are urgent all the time.
11:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that you have to be counter-cultural and you have to stop and say, is this urgent?
11:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe maybe not, but is it eternal?
11:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's a lot of places where I've allowed urgency in my life that was an eternal.
12:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And that doesn't mean that I'm not going to still help my daughter find a promise.
12:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not going to need to cook dinner.
12:08
[SPEAKER_00]: There's reality still within the day of things we have to do.
12:12
[SPEAKER_00]: But the things that we allow to undo us and to be strong at about to, you know, lose sleep over.
12:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, to be anxious about like, are these things that are going to matter later?
12:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Are they eternal and if they are eternal then then we step into that right and we figure out what that looks like But I love I love that you're saying that and and also I love that you're saying like Was that the hill to die on my book bag being in the wrong chair and that's funny Because I don't remember you complain I remember I exactly that chair and where upset I was done my stuff I really don't remember you complaining about it much.
12:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess you you caught yourself early on
12:47
[SPEAKER_00]: But there are those things as a mom now that I've been a mom for 22 years, whatever.
12:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I want my kids to leave my house one day and we're going to be known for something, may it not be known for the things that don't matter, right?
13:01
[SPEAKER_00]: The house-looking perfect, the bedtime is being met, the making me look good.
13:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, how often are we tempted to overparent things because it's making us look bad or whatever.
13:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I just don't want to be
13:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's easy to get caught up in the moment in parenting, and these are such urgent important things, and the thing is, is it, I don't know, I mean, you know, so if you're going to be known for something as a mom, be known for someone who points your kids to the Lord and that you care about the things that really, really matter.
13:32
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, yeah, I think a lot of it's based on expectations.
13:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I think there's comparisons, you know, that we should not compare later on, we're going
13:44
[SPEAKER_01]: But you know, you had a good friend who was an incredible pianist and we'll laugh about this a little bit.
13:49
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was also no, no, no, okay.
13:52
[SPEAKER_01]: And I will carry and I compared you, you know, to that person, I put expectations on you and on myself.
14:00
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that we have we impose expectations on our kids and on ourselves.
14:07
[SPEAKER_01]: That shouldn't be there, you know, and it was stress and pressure and and again I guess bottom line I'm saying is all of this takes time and if you don't have time to evaluate.
14:19
[SPEAKER_01]: and really look at what's important, what's eternal, then we miss a spinach in our teeth, and they'll catch the one they say the book.
14:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's true.
14:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, now that you brought up piano, one, I thought I was good, but apparently I'm being made aware of the fact I was not, and no jokingly, I was not good.
14:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know exactly what you're talking about.
14:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I've not heard you play anything in 25 years.
14:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, even when I did it, wasn't that great.
14:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I got caught up in the moonlight, Sonata, and I'm excited.
14:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm surprised we're not all still sitting there.
14:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't remember the ending of it.
14:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And it is funny, because you know, you were the church pianist, and you still play piano, and so beautifully.
14:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's, uh, in my piano teacher, she was just heinous mom.
15:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, of all the people in El Paso, you pick the heinous teacher.
15:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And then my friend, who was in there, in a friend, by the way, she's comparing me to, let's just take a step further, shout out, Courtney.
15:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Not only was she fabulous on the piano, she graduated valetorian, she went to Stanford and she's a surgeon.
15:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, guys, like nobody's keeping up with Courtney.
15:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So there was that, but would you tell everybody was Ms. Wade, my parent teacher?
15:24
[SPEAKER_00]: She was awful, and you know it, and you can admit it now, because you had an incident with her, and you should come plain on it.
15:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Whew, you're gonna put me in the spa, aren't you?
15:35
[SPEAKER_01]: It shouldn't be as she was supposed to be the best.
15:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I know she was tough, but I thought you needed tough, but tough didn't work.
15:42
[SPEAKER_01]: You just, you know, you never passed a theory test.
15:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And so finally one day she said to me,
15:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I think your daughter has some learning difficulties.
15:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was very respectful and I didn't say otherwise, but I knew, I said it's just, you know, she's not motivated, she didn't like Mary.
16:00
[SPEAKER_01]: And if she didn't like it, she's not going to do it.
16:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And fast forward, what, 10 years?
16:06
[SPEAKER_01]: We saw her in Louis' cafeteria one day.
16:09
[SPEAKER_01]: And we go over and we speak to her and Lord, please forgive me.
16:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And I have to make a point of letting her know that she described a way to law school that she did not have learning difficulties not my best moment.
16:22
[SPEAKER_00]: If that isn't a true mall and it is you guys and I'm not she's not kidding.
16:30
[SPEAKER_00]: They had these theory tests and if you're on a theory as I mean what's theory it's like that.
16:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Beijing gave me an effort or whatever, yeah.
16:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's the nuts and bolts behind music.
16:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And they would have theory tests every year.
16:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, can we have a show of hands who had to take a stupid theory test?
16:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's nobody, but me and Courtney, and she always did great on them.
16:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And I took him, I thought you I took him every year for how many years, seven or eight years in a week.
16:56
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
16:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I never passed one, never, and which is kind of funny because I mean I'm a pretty decent student now, or it was, and I never passed one, and so yeah, our panel teacher, God rest her soul, was like, there's something up with this kid.
17:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And then my mom, as always a mom, nothing, it never changes, man.
17:16
[SPEAKER_00]: You and Soltar kids, we're gonna let you know that wouldn't.
17:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I just ended you.
17:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I had to let her know that you were not a dummy, that you had just graduated from school.
17:26
[SPEAKER_00]: It's completely, it'll only upload.
17:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
17:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't write, well, she's already laughing, so don't feel good about this.
17:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't ever think I'll write a marriage book.
17:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, talk about just setting yourself up to fail.
17:49
[SPEAKER_00]: But I do like to put a chapter two here and there, talk about marriage.
17:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I did in this book, and did you read that mom where I'd talk about Mike and I'm really liking our marriage to barbecue?
18:01
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that analogy.
18:02
[SPEAKER_01]: It is so perfect for you and Mike.
18:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's so perfect in Texas, you know, I mean, because, well, barbecue's everything, and that's everything to my, and the discipline of it in the technique, and I mean, he takes it serious, but you know, you had some good analogies there.
18:21
[SPEAKER_01]: You, you talk about it being slow and low versus a big fire spark.
18:29
[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, I thought it was interesting when you mentioned about a spark.
18:35
[SPEAKER_01]: We all want to spark in our marriage.
18:37
[SPEAKER_01]: The sparks don't last.
18:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Sparks are here and gone, quick, you know.
18:43
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's the coals underneath, or the gas element underneath that's low and slow.
18:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what marriage needs to be.
18:53
[SPEAKER_01]: If it's always a spark, there's not a lot of depth to it.
18:59
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, my word about marriage isn't marriage is a commitment and that's not a popular word now.
19:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we don't commit the same ice cream flavor or, you know, anything else.
19:11
[SPEAKER_01]: My concern is the biggest detriment to marriage just a day is over commitment and that's not over commitment to marriage but over commitment period and you know, we talked about evaluations with evaluating where you want your kid to be and what to do and I think
19:29
[SPEAKER_01]: been cooking barbecue or you stall, I'm not sure I understand that term, but I think there's times in marriage or marriage is stall, but that is a really crucial time to step back in a
19:48
[SPEAKER_01]: say, we need to get out of this doll.
19:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
19:54
[SPEAKER_00]: The stall, like when I was referring to it in the book, I'm talking about, yes, my husband loves this smoke barbecue.
19:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're not from Texas, we're very serious in Texas about barbecue.
20:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I laughingly say, one of the meanest things I've ever said to Mike, was that all barbecue tastes the same to me.
20:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And he was like, Harrison, what are we doing here?
20:10
[SPEAKER_00]: But,
20:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, when he will be smoking, um, barbecue, sometimes it'll hit a stall and that basically means it stops cooking and you've been doing this for, you know, 10 hours all sudden it stops cooking and nothing's happening and you, there's this tendency to want to run in and fire up the heat and figure it out and I kind of like in that to marriage.
20:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Like there's sometimes where it feels like a stall where you're like, oh my gosh, it's everything good away.
20:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's no spark.
20:31
[SPEAKER_00]: There's, you know, we don't feel like we have a lot in common all these and how
20:35
[SPEAKER_00]: This isn't the time to turn up the flame.
20:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, and burn down the place over it, right?
20:40
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the time to stay steady and committed.
20:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that was kind of the, there's more to that in the book.
20:45
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm just curious, you got married when you're like nine.
20:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So tell everybody about that mom.
20:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And then, yeah, we'll go from there.
20:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Seriously?
20:56
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm dead, serious.
20:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Tell everybody of Dorothy.
21:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, okay.
21:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, let me start by saying
21:05
[SPEAKER_01]: or disclaimer.
21:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
21:08
[SPEAKER_01]: That I graduated from high school when I was 16 and went away to college when I was 70.
21:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, not because I was brilliant or for the reasons.
21:16
[SPEAKER_01]: And so then not bad reasons.
21:19
[SPEAKER_01]: But she was very smart to go on.
21:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I was headed to Baylor and that summer I found met Tom and we fell in love and so I didn't go to Baylor.
21:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I went to Utah instead.
21:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm.
21:32
[SPEAKER_00]: The University of Texas, I'll pass it back to you.
21:34
[SPEAKER_00]: How old are you?
21:35
[SPEAKER_00]: How old are you?
21:35
[SPEAKER_00]: You got married.
21:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I was 17.
21:37
[SPEAKER_01]: But I was a sophomore college.
21:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that California?
21:39
[SPEAKER_01]: We're lucky.
21:40
[SPEAKER_01]: We're lucky.
21:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Dev's not in jail.
21:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Isn't that?
21:44
[SPEAKER_00]: I think you go to jail for those things now because Dev is five years older.
21:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
21:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it was hard growing up with that dad.
21:53
[SPEAKER_00]: He was in prison the first 10 years of my life.
21:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yes, they did get married young and Dorothy always tells my kids like when they were in high school.
22:03
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, now I think you know that I was already in college and I'm like, it's fine.
22:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Kate has even had a date mom.
22:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think she's getting married and
22:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, y'all are still married more than 64, how many years?
22:20
[SPEAKER_00]: 64.
22:20
[SPEAKER_00]: 64 years.
22:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and you kind of alluded to some of your marriage advice based on what I wrote, but any other marriage advice based on what you know to be true or even just things you've seen change in marriage over the years.
22:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, as I started, you know, I said commitment and that's just, you know, that's the basis of it.
22:48
[SPEAKER_01]: You go through all these stages.
22:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll never forget that number sitting out on the patio and El Paso.
22:54
[SPEAKER_01]: And I guess you kids were teenagers, maybe the boys were already in college.
22:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
22:58
[SPEAKER_01]: My mother was in a nursing home and, you know, our plates were full.
23:01
[SPEAKER_01]: I was working full time at the church and, you know, and I turned him and I said, life is nothing but a series of changes.
23:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And he looked at me like, well, that was profound.
23:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Where did that come from?
23:14
[SPEAKER_01]: And now I wonder where it did.
23:16
[SPEAKER_01]: But that is so true in marriage is all these stages.
23:20
[SPEAKER_01]: And so many of the stages revolve around children, or jobs, or moving, or whatever.
23:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And you kind of work through all those stages.
23:30
[SPEAKER_01]: One of the things I would say to people today is don't ruminate.
23:35
[SPEAKER_01]: don't build your case.
23:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't go over and over and over and over.
23:40
[SPEAKER_01]: All the things that bugged you that he's done wrong or she's done wrong or you know didn't do, you know things that didn't do that you wish they had.
23:51
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, my age, I pray that I don't forget, but at your age, I think you pray that you do forget all those things.
23:59
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, Lord, help me not to remember those, but that, like you said in the book, just steady, consistent, faithful, is so important today.
24:11
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't have to be the big fire or the spark or whatever, it just needs to be good quality relationships.
24:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, and you'll find what you're looking for in marriage.
24:23
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're looking for the negative and you're looking for the building your case to your point, and, you know, he's always so unthoughtful.
24:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you're gonna find 30 examples probably where that was, you're looking through the lens of unthoughtfulness, or you have an opportunity to look through the lens of gratefulness.
24:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And, or whatever it is, and that's not to ignore that there aren't realities of marriage, and there are realities, there's hard places, and that goes back to commitment, right?
24:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just think that your generation, I don't know, I just feel like you guys did it really well.
24:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know, I even think of the leave it to beaver, but you know, not that we all have to be staying at home and have, but just that sense of family and community and come home and support each other.
25:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know, it just feels like back in the day, it was, the standard was different than what it is now.
25:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I wrote in the end of the book, the end of the chapter on marriage.
25:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I wrote a barbeque benediction.
25:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I have no idea why I wrote a benediction, but nonetheless, I did, I'm gonna read it.
25:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, you ready, Mom?
25:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't control, like brisk it that's in a stall and a husband who's clueless that company is coming in an hour.
25:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Give me the courage to trim the fat but keep the flavor, whether that's on a slab of meat or in my salty attitude.
25:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was then to know when to dive in or when to walk away and let it rest, especially when he asks questions like, what'd you do all day?
25:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Help me to accept the stalls and smoke or part of the process and trust that a slow and low
25:53
[SPEAKER_00]: love it.
25:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me say one last thing.
25:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, laugh.
25:58
[SPEAKER_01]: How many times have you and Kelly?
25:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Kelly is my daughter-in-law and I have text each other when we were getting ready to have somebody come over for dinner or some big event at our house or whatever and we've wanted our husbands to help us either dust or vacuum or mop the kitchen floor or whatever and what are they doing?
26:15
[SPEAKER_00]: like clean in the toolbox.
26:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we're ranging the tools in the toolbox.
26:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, are the yard equipment in the shed?
26:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
26:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, thank you, thank you, helpful.
26:25
[SPEAKER_01]: We've laughed through the years and I think you just got a laugh.
26:29
[SPEAKER_01]: And I wrote this statement down because I love this.
26:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Each day, this is from you in that chapter.
26:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Each day, we're handed the choice to either throw gasoline on the fire or to keep the heat low and the grace high.
26:43
[SPEAKER_01]: and everybody needs to put that on the sticky and put that on their mirror, because that's a great word.
26:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
26:50
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, well, thank you for staying married six, it's easy to be married six to five years when you get married when you're 14, so, um, well, yeah, I think she just tried to tell me to shut up.
27:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And we had told them this is an intermission moment before we get our last topic.
27:04
[SPEAKER_01]: We had told them about the time when you cast, oh, you kiss all the great things that I did as a mother.
27:11
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you remember?
27:13
[SPEAKER_00]: when you cast a damn one prime which is better than most most of us can say but Dorothy Dorothy does not a cusser but boy she threw it down and not a bad cuss you guys I think actually wrote about it my first book it wasn't a bad cuss like she didn't drop an F bomb not it was kind of like a maybe start with the D that one maybe it
27:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you did.
27:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't hear you.
27:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you may have to edit that.
27:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I'm going to talk about that.
27:35
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, when I was really mad, particularly at the boys, when they were teenagers and everything and you know, they were too big to whatever and when I really got mad, I stopped my foot and one day I was so mad at them, whatever.
27:54
[SPEAKER_01]: And one of them, they knew there was getting ready to stop my foot.
27:57
[SPEAKER_01]: One of them came up behind me and picked me up off the floor and the other one said, OK, go ahead, go ahead, go or you can do it.
28:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And it made me so mad that I let, I said, damn, yeah.
28:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And have you, is anybody ever forgotten it?
28:10
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
28:11
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
28:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm in therapy over it.
28:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Still, I mean, any time I, I guess, I just say, I'm sorry, it's genetic.
28:17
[SPEAKER_00]: My mom, I grew up in a cuss again.
28:19
[SPEAKER_01]: You need therapy.
28:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
28:21
[UNKNOWN]: Oh.
28:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's go to the last thing in the chapter where I talk about how and cultured we are and you're really put out about it It was interesting because I ended it and I was gonna read a little bit and I'll say if I can find it while you're talking, but I kind of ended it with
28:38
[SPEAKER_00]: With all the lack of culture, jokes, and all that, I'm so thankful I lived in a house where we were taught to, and really not even taught.
28:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It was modeled to go do the things, do the hard things, do the things that you're called to do, even when it's inconvenient and difficult.
28:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think about you, Mom, like you, you were on church staff,
28:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't mean like the church secretary, which is great if you were, but you were literally like second command under the pastor back when there was no women being second and command under the pastor.
29:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And you were on the stage doing announcements and all those things and and I love it because you weren't a renegade you weren't like I'm gonna there's a place for women that wasn't it you were just so talented and so qualified that you you were asked to be a part of you were asked to be a part of so much through that church.
29:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I just love that you did that, and that you showed us that we can do hard things, we can step out and faith and we can trust God.
29:39
[SPEAKER_00]: So talk to us just a little bit about that.
29:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, well, when I was a freshman in college, I really, for I got married at 14.
29:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I really felt called a ministry, but had no idea how was gonna, you know, work out.
29:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was really in my mid-30s when it finally worked out.
29:57
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, where our minister of education at first to go past, so called me and said, which you'd be our preschool insurance minister.
30:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And I said, well, what does that involve?
30:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And he said, just go around on Sunday mornings and make sure there's everything's okay.
30:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And that was a real blonde moment because, you know, duh, not exactly what you have to do.
30:17
[SPEAKER_01]: But that led into being Minister of Education, at First Baptist Church, going to conferences where I was the only woman there, learning respect from men in the church.
30:32
[SPEAKER_01]: We had a men's Sunday school class that, you know, I didn't go into the class until I was invited to.
30:37
[SPEAKER_01]: I had to earn.
30:39
[SPEAKER_01]: my right to do that because women in ministry were not, you know, just not that prevalent at that time.
30:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it was hard, but it was a calling.
30:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And in fact, they didn't even call me, didn't have my titles a minister.
30:55
[SPEAKER_01]: They called me director education.
30:57
[SPEAKER_01]: And we did that on purpose so that it wouldn't offend anybody.
31:01
[SPEAKER_01]: But finally I thought, you know, if I haven't earned through my actions the right to be called a minister, then I'm not doing it right.
31:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, you know, they finally changed it.
31:09
[SPEAKER_01]: But it really, and I had not been to seminary.
31:13
[SPEAKER_01]: The fact though that we moved around with your dad's job, which I never wanted to do, but we were involved in different churches.
31:22
[SPEAKER_01]: That was my seminary education.
31:29
[SPEAKER_01]: But it was really a learning experience and it was not easy, you know, being a woman on staff back then, you know, 30 years ago, 40 years ago.
31:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it was it was hard, but oh, so worthwhile and and love.
31:45
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, you know, I just thank the Lord every day for lamb me to have those experiences.
31:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
31:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I talk in that chapter about roller coasters and how I don't like to ride on roller coasters and I'm the one who will sit on the bench and hold your stuff while you go on the ride and how even making fun of y'all for giving us new culture which you proved the top of this podcast when you said we rode boxes down sand hills so there you go everyone.
32:11
[SPEAKER_00]: But I was talking out roller coasters in how, in our spiritual life, and our faith, like, don't, don't sit out the ride, and I said this, my parents modeled a faith that wasn't content with the sidelines.
32:22
[SPEAKER_00]: They got messy, made mistakes.
32:24
[SPEAKER_00]: And over and over again, we watched them buckle up for tumultuous ride.
32:27
[SPEAKER_00]: They didn't just talk about faith, they lived it, showing us how to wrestle through the tension of wanting to cling to the bench that feels safe, but knowing that's not where God does his best work.
32:37
[SPEAKER_00]: What would you say to someone who's listening this that is nervous about stepping out?
32:43
[SPEAKER_00]: It's nervous about doing the thing they're called to, whether like for our family, my family, my can I, it's foster care or whatever that is, maybe a job change, maybe the Lord's calling them to give more money than it feels safe to give, maybe it's letting go of some control things with their kids.
33:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Like what would you say to someone who's just struggling to walk into that and trust the Lord and to do the hard things?
33:08
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, one of my favorite, and I'll do this briefly.
33:10
[SPEAKER_01]: One of my favorite Bible stories is Ananias in the New Testament.
33:14
[SPEAKER_01]: When God calls Ananias and says, Ananias, I want you to go to Saul.
33:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Saul just had his Damascus road experience.
33:21
[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, he was killing the Christians.
33:23
[SPEAKER_01]: He was going to talk to Tarsus to heal the Christians.
33:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Ananias says, and the Lord says, Ananias, and he says, yes, Lord, he hears God's voice.
33:35
[SPEAKER_01]: He knows God's voice.
33:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And then God tells him what he wants in your due.
33:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I want you to go to Saul.
33:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And he says, but Lord, that's his response.
33:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Lord, he can kill me.
33:45
[SPEAKER_01]: And God tells him why.
33:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I want him to evangelize the Gentiles and the Jews.
33:52
[SPEAKER_01]: God doesn't always tell us why.
33:54
[SPEAKER_01]: But his third response was complete obedience.
33:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And that was a hard thing, you know, I mean he didn't know what would happen if he went, but he did, but you know his name would have been there in the Bible, had he not done that.
34:09
[SPEAKER_01]: And I say to anybody, don't sit on the bench, you know, you're not talking about this Cynthia, you have friends and some of them are leaders and some of them are followers, just like when you got JB.
34:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Boy, a lot of your friends did not feel called to do foster and adoption, but boy, they were there with everything you ever needed and they have been all the way along.
34:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think we're either an initiator or a volunteer, but sitting on the bench.
34:40
[SPEAKER_01]: really diminishes your quality of life, getting in the ball game and I thought Mike would like this, either as a quarterback or a kicker, I don't make any difference, but God calls us God has a plan for every person as long as I have sound to mind.
34:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And the happiest we are in our lives is when we're in the center of his will.
35:01
[SPEAKER_01]: That doesn't mean it's easy.
35:02
[SPEAKER_01]: You and I both know that in ministry it's hard sometimes.
35:07
[SPEAKER_01]: but there's nothing more worthwhile than being in the center of his, his well, obeying him, doing what he asks the rewards are incredible.
35:18
[SPEAKER_01]: And I would just say if anybody, you know, God, he prepares us.
35:22
[SPEAKER_01]: He doesn't just say, go do that and then you'll leave us hanging out in the wind.
35:26
[SPEAKER_01]: He prepares us or he falls, he guys is along the way, you know, he is our shepherd.
35:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And so
35:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
35:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Jump in there.
35:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to use this quote, and you know, a real good friend of ours.
35:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Jerry saw your diet last year.
35:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Very suddenly while his wife was having surgery.
35:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And Jerry, we were good friends with him and El Paso.
35:50
[SPEAKER_01]: He was my son.
35:50
[SPEAKER_01]: He's a director and on and on and on.
35:53
[SPEAKER_01]: But his son and Laude did his funeral.
35:55
[SPEAKER_01]: And at his funeral, his son and Laude made this statement.
35:57
[SPEAKER_01]: He says, I heard my father and I'll pray hundreds of times.
36:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And at the end of ever prayer, he always said,
36:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Lord, when you call, let me be the first one to step up and say yes, and I love that and Jerry did.
36:14
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think, you know, look at the life he led, look at the life that God allows us, if we step up and say yes, Lord, I will scare you down, you know, I didn't want to do this today.
36:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm scared.
36:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want your ratings to fall, whatever, but I don't want your ratings to fall, whatever.
36:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yeah, my pastor, Liban always says, God, maybe it's at the pace of your next year.
36:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's easy to look around and be like, well, man, all these people are doing all these things.
36:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, I'm not good enough why it's God, I'm not using me.
36:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, maybe it's just a yes, a lot of times.
36:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think I do say this in the book, but I use the analogy, when Mike was editing in the book, he's like, you need a sports analogy right here, which is so mic, right?
36:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Always a sports analogy, but he was said,
37:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, when it comes to doing these hard things and getting off the bench, she said, think of the professional athlete, you know, they're sitting on the bench and they've waited their whole life to have a moment to go in the game and when the coach calls them, they're not like, oh, I don't know, I'm not sure I'm qualified enough.
37:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, somebody told me I'm not good.
37:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Somebody's better.
37:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
37:16
[SPEAKER_00]: They have, I'm a better reputation or do you don't know my past?
37:19
[SPEAKER_00]: No, like they have, they're ready to get in the game.
37:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Their number was called and like our number is called daily to do the things.
37:27
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not going into sporting event, but daily work called,
37:30
[SPEAKER_00]: to love people well, to shepherd our kids, to be kind to a neighbor, to spend time in God's work.
37:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know, we're getting caught off the bench.
37:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is our chance.
37:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And while there's breath in our lungs, to do the things God has.
37:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And so thank you, and dad, for modeling that well.
37:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And for all the horrible things I've said about you in the book, really there.
37:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just a praying for you.
37:52
[SPEAKER_01]: We still feel like there's hope for you.
37:55
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, we're going to wrap up is anything that you wanted to share that we didn't get to.
37:59
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys.
38:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I wish you could see your notes.
38:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I scared her to that.
38:02
[SPEAKER_00]: She's got like two pages of notes front and back.
38:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, there they are.
38:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Anything else you want to share with us to recover at all?
38:09
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we did.
38:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I just, you know, bottom line is living a hard time and prayers are best.
38:19
[SPEAKER_01]: access to God and you know he is there and he will help us and some days we we do well some days we don't in your marriage and your parenting when you make the mistakes ask God to redeem your mistakes and move on and do better next time and enjoy it.
38:41
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah
38:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, any, any other storage you need to share with them.
38:44
[SPEAKER_00]: This is your last chance.
38:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Anything embarrassing you need to tell them, um, then I didn't.
38:49
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I held on to a half.
38:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
38:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Was there any other childhood story?
38:53
[SPEAKER_00]: We need to read it.
38:55
[SPEAKER_01]: You remember the every year you would plan with your friends that you would ditch school one day out of the year.
39:02
[SPEAKER_01]: and you would.
39:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And this was course before cell phones.
39:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, but you would go to somebody's house and you would call me at the office and say, Mom, I want you to know I'm ditching school today.
39:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And what would I say?
39:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I think the gist of it was like, why don't agree with it, but thank you for letting me know.
39:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, exactly.
39:21
[SPEAKER_01]: And I didn't.
39:22
[SPEAKER_01]: But you always, it was so fun to have to people that, you know, that you, and of course, then there's the McDonald's happy meal thing.
39:29
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, we're drove through.
39:31
[SPEAKER_01]: So condiments on request and you thought it's your condoms on request and happy meals and I would throw us down and like what and apparently that was the beginning of this way the piano teacher maybe was on to something I couldn't even read the sign of a dog but anyway lots and lots of laughs and fun and and
39:52
[SPEAKER_01]: We're proud of what you do, Cynthia.
39:54
[SPEAKER_01]: So proud of who you are, your family.
39:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, thanks, Mom.
39:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, thanks for coming on and supporting and thanks for listening.
40:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Nobody buys more books than my mom.
40:03
[SPEAKER_00]: If it ever makes a best seller's list, if you just know that my mom had sold their house to buy books, it's right.
40:08
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, if you want to contribute, you start a fun.
40:10
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
40:11
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't fund me for Dorothy's books, isn't she?
40:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Buys, thank you.
40:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Your books are good.
40:16
[SPEAKER_01]: They really have a message.
40:17
[SPEAKER_01]: They really have an incredible message.
40:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, thank you, Mom.
40:21
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, thanks for coming up.
40:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, did I tell you mom that so, you know, my friend Stephanie came on and then I did one ship on myself in this whole series and then I reached out to our youth director that was there when I was in junior high at church, have it talked to him and have her many years, you know, I think I saw him at a funeral for 30 seconds, but I have it talked him in 15, 20, 25 years.
40:41
[SPEAKER_00]: He's coming on next.
40:42
[SPEAKER_00]: So that'll be a, that'll be a hug.
40:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, asking who won it spones.
40:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you remember that?
40:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I was a pretty party we had at our house when he became youth minister and we were all playing spones that came down to him and me He looked like I don't know whether I should win or not, so I think about things.
41:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I will All right, thanks for being here mom love you
41:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, isn't she hilarious, don't you love my mom?
41:10
[SPEAKER_00]: If you know my mom in real life, you really, really love her.
41:12
[SPEAKER_00]: As all my friends say, I hit the jackpot on moms.
41:16
[SPEAKER_00]: She cooks so well and she always drops off food.
41:19
[SPEAKER_00]: She'll help clean up our house.
41:21
[SPEAKER_00]: She takes care of kids.
41:22
[SPEAKER_00]: She's watching my dog at the moment just the best.
41:25
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm so grateful for my mom and dad and especially thankful that my mom was willing to come on the podcast.
41:29
[SPEAKER_00]: So hope you enjoyed it.
41:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Would you please share with a friend, help get our show, even more people that are listening, and then if you haven't ordered a copy of how to I miss that, now's a chance to do that.
41:42
[SPEAKER_00]: It's coming out in about two weeks.
41:44
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, you guys, thanks for being here, and thanks for being a part of the mesmerized family.
41:48
[SPEAKER_00]: You're the very best.