Latest / Outspoken the Podcast / TMG: Molly Mae's White Dress Sparks 'Bounce Back' Debate

Transcript

TMG: Molly Mae's White Dress Sparks 'Bounce Back' Debate · Outspoken the Podcast

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the Mums Group you actually want
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: to be a part of. I'm Kate Torber. And I'm
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Sophie Torber. And Kate, it's been a big week. Both
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: of our sons celebrated their birthdays, but they didn't quite
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: go to plan. It's funny, I actually re-listened to, I
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: think it was last week's episode where we were talking
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: about party prep, and I felt sorry for myself because
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I was so looking forward to the boys' birthday week.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: We had big plans. We were going to go to
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: the zoo with Luca. We were going to take Jack
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: to this play cafe. We were both going to do
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: dinners afterwards with all the family. And then on Friday,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: we were supposed to go to Disney on Ice. Yeah.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: So when Jack started vomiting his breakfast up on Monday morning,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I was like, wow, this really throws a spanner in
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: the works because Luca's birthday was on Tuesday and Jack's
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: was on Wednesday. The worst thing is for some reason
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: over the weekend, we thought it was a great idea
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: for the boys to have shared baths together. Like we
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: were at our parents' house. Let's get them all in
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: the bath. Let's get Harry and everyone was in the
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: bath together. I don't know how Luca and Harry managed
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: to escape the gastro. Well, I don't know how recent
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I have either. Every time we do this, then we
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: are struck down by it. Please, please God, don't do
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: that to us. Well, fortunately, Jack has fully recovered. He's
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: three days symptom free now, but it was so bad
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: because It took me by surprise when he vomited and then,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: you know, other stuff started happening and I was getting
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: him changed. And our dog, Sunny, who has picker, which
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: means she just eats anything that's not like literally nailed down.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: She ran off with his pants and decided to eat
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: his tracksuit pants while I was dealing with the mess inside.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: So then I was like, oh, hang on, where's Sunny?
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I had to race outside, see her with his pants
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: in her mouth. And then somehow I'd lock myself out.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: So I had to go through the doggy door and
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: it And I was home alone. So fortunately, my mom
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: came over. She stayed outside and we got Sunny into
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: the car. We got Jack into the car. I had
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: to drop her off at the vet so she could
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: bring up said tracksuit pants. It was an absolute ordeal. Yeah.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: It wasn't a great week. I mean, we tried to
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: make the most of it for Luca's birthday. We, oh,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: it was so much fun the night before because I
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: had to do the TikTok thing where I got the
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: little party hats for the soft toys and I got
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: the helium balloons and we got his car ready. It
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: looked so cute. We had a really nice day. I
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: also managed to pull off the woman's weekly number one cake,
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: which I was pretty proud of myself. Oh, yours was
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: so good. You put mine to shame. You even made
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: sure all of the colored Smarties were in the right order. Yeah.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: It would have annoyed me too much. Otherwise I do
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: have Luca's birthday party coming up this weekend. So it's
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Luca's farm. So I have gone all out and got
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: a lot of farm themed things. I will share some
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: videos on my Instagram. It's so cute. I'm so glad
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: we went with that theme instead of the hole in one.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: I am going to be making a woman's weekly cake,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: but it's literally the most piss easy cake in the book.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: All you have to do is make the round cake,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: put some green icing with coconut in there, and then
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I've pre-purchased all of the little figurines. So you can't
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: go wrong. I do have a packet cake, but I am,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: because the Women's Weekly is all about the packet cake. Yeah,
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: but it doesn't mean you have to do it. You know,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I prefer to stick to the recipe. There's this amazing
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: woman on TikTok, her name's Gabrielle, and she is setting
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: out to make all of the 107 cakes from the
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Women's Weekly book on TikTok. And hers are so good.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Like everyone go and follow her. I had so much
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: fun watching this. So she made the farm one and
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I thought, yep, that looks easy. Let's do that. See,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I'm just itching to make a cake because I made
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Jack some like healthy muffins for his actual birthday. But
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: the two cake tin is just sitting on top of
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: my fridge. I was obviously going to make him a
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: proper cake for everyone to have on his birthday. But
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: it just like, there was just no point. The day
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: before his birthday, I actually asked you guys like, what
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: do you think about just pretending that it's not his
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: actual birthday and celebrating it next Wednesday? And in my head,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that makes sense because I don't
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: want him to have some negative connotation with his birthday
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: and feeling sick. And it's just going to be flat.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: But then a couple of hours later, I was like,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: there's no way I can do that because I feel
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: like it's a special day, not only for your child,
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: but also for you. Like it's a really reflective day
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: looking back at the memories of them in the hospital.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: And it just didn't feel right. It's sort of hard
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: when they're so young and they don't really know that
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: it's their birthday. We spoke last year about how Indy
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Clinton changed her daughter's birthday because her daughter, I think
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: her birthday was like five days out from Christmas and
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: it was just too much for her. See, I'm confused
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: if she still did that or if it was just
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: a PR stunt because at the time she was trying
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: to get attention away from her getting her nose job redone.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, we'll have to see this year.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Hello, this is for anyone who's just had a baby
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: and saw those photos of Molly Mae. You know, the
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: ones in the white dress where she very much doesn't
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: look like she had a baby a week ago, I think. Well,
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: this is what I look like three weeks after having
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: a baby. I very much still look like I'm about
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: to have a baby.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Molly Mae has sparked fierce debate after stepping out just
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: 14 days postpartum in a figure-hugging white dress to attend
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: her fiancé Tommy Fury's boxing match. Some critics accused the
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: influencer of promoting unrealistic expectations for postpartum women, while others
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: praised her for looking incredible so soon after birth. Kate,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: everyone is talking about this white dress. Yeah, and we
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: really ummed and ahed about whether we were going to
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: cover this on our other podcast, Outspoken. But I thought,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: let's bring it to the mums group, because I think
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: that's where the biggest reaction came from. Women who have
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: given birth and were like, wow. How is she possibly
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: wearing a white dress? Because most of us are at home,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: hair unbrushed in our PJs with a nappy or a
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: pad on, not in a white dress. Oh, for me,
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: it wasn't even the white dress. It was actually how
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: figure hugging it was because she has since admitted that
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: she was, of course, wearing Spanx and there was a
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: lot going on behind the scenes to get her looking
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: like that. For Molly, I think she did have a
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: vaginal birth. We don't actually know yet, but I had
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: a cesarean birth. So the thought of squeezing into something
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: like that would have just been my nightmare two weeks
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: after having Luca. To be honest, I don't really know
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: if it makes much of a difference of how you
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: gave birth. I think in most instances, women will not
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: want to be wearing something figure hugging. In saying that,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: we're not talking about just anyone. This is Molly May,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: who is the UK's biggest influencer. Her fiancee was in
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: this massive fight and it was like history was repeating
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: itself because he had a similar fight when their first
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: daughter Bambi was born. And I think that she had
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: to be there. Like she had to show that she
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: was being supportive because she had spoken in the past
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: about how that time when she had her first daughter
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: was really hard on her because Tommy wasn't around and
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: they obviously had that big breakup. So I think this
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: was really for PR purposes. Well, that's the thing. I
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: think a lot of people are forgetting that this fight
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: took place in the couple's hometown of Manchester. So I
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: think if this had been overseas or even just in
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: another city, she could have been excused for not going.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: There would have been a lot of pressure on her
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: to attend this fight to look like she was there
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: supporting Tommy. In saying that though, we're not really used
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: to seeing Molly in figure hugging outfits. I mean, she
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: has embraced her bump more so in this second pregnancy,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: which has been lovely to see. But she's known for
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: wearing oversized blazers, suit trousers. Like this was a new
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: look for her and it was strange that she was
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: embracing it just after she'd given birth. Well, it has
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: now become apparent that this dress is all part of
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: a marketing stunt for Molly's brand, Maybe. So following the
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: massive reaction to this dress online, she shared a mirror
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: selfie in the dress and wrote, quite possibly the only
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: dress that would have made me feel confident two weeks postpartum.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: She then revealed that the dress is, of course, from
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: her brand Maybe, writing the Maybe Store power fitted dress.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I was wearing a 10 and she then shared a
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: link to directly purchase the dress. I, of course, had
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: to check out this dress because I wanted to see
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: how it was described online. And I saw that this
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: dress comes in another color. So it also comes in black.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: But Molly and her PR team would have known that
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: a black dress wasn't going to cause the level of
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: headlines that the white one did. Mm-hmm. I mean, a
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: freshly postpartum woman wearing a white figure-hugging dress, that is
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: going to generate headlines, whether good or bad, and it's
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: always going to spark debate. I mean, her team knew this.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: It would have been a clear strategy. They knew that
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: this photo was going to be in the press the
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: next day. Molly was going to be looking incredible in it,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: and every single woman in the UK and possibly Australia
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: would want to go and buy this dress. Well, that's
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: the big question. Did it work? Well, yeah. The dress
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: is pretty much sold out in the majority of sizes.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, Molly said that this is the only dress
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: that would make her feel confident two weeks postpartum. For me,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I feel like this dress would have crushed my confidence completely.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Oh God, I completely agree. You wouldn't have found me
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: in this dress. It does pose the question, when did
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: she actually give birth? Because we don't know the official
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: birthday of her son, Midas. Obviously, she controls the information
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: that she puts out there. I'm wondering, like, was he
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: born a lot earlier than we all thought or was
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: she legitimately two weeks postpartum? Well, in the caption, she
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: said it was the only dress that would make her
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: feel confident two weeks postpartum. So I'm guessing she is. Now,
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: in the following slide of this Instagram story, she then
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: told her followers not to get it twisted and she
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: shared a photo of her in her daggy clothes, which
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: were covered in vomit, her hair pulled back, sitting on
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: her bed, breastfeeding her new son. So she wrote, I
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: pulled myself together for a few hours to support Tommy.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: but this is the reality of most evenings currently, taking
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: deep breaths, covered in vomit whilst being used as a
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: human cow and trying to look after my other little
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: sassy human too. When asked how she managed to fit
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: in to the figure hugging dress, she added no gatekeeping
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: with the Spanx, also a giant pad and a lot
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: of prayers. This is the relatability I was waiting for
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: from Molly Mae. I mean, the genius of this woman
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: is that she has somehow built a brand around relatability,
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: despite the fact that she is living a completely aspirational,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: very unachievable life for most people. I mean, in her vlogs,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: we'll see her either traveling abroad at the drop of
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: a hat or walking through her insane old mansion. But
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: then she'll open up about there being cat piss all
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: over the house or how she's been in a tracky
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: pants all day. Like, She just does it really well.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: And I think that this is another example of her
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: then gaining back the relatability. Do you think it worked?
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: I appreciated the insight. And she is a master, as
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: you said, of making her unrelatable life seem relatable to
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: her viewers. I think it's going to get even more
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: relatable when she shares her upcoming vlog. I don't know
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: when that's going to be out, but I presume she
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: would have recorded behind the scenes of this and how
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: she was feeling. anyone who listens to Outspoken will know
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: that I'm a massive Molly Mae stan. And I couldn't
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: help but feel sorry for her because there are just
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: countless videos on TikTok of people debating her decision to
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: wear the dress and accusing her of setting these unrealistic
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: expectations for new moms and saying that her experience doesn't
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: reflect their experience. And while I totally understand that those
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: are very valid feelings, I think it's really difficult because
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: this woman is in the public eye. So she had
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: to go to this boxing match. And only a couple
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: of weeks ago, she received so much trolling for appearing
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: at her niece's wedding, looking like she hadn't made much
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: of an effort. So if she had walked into that
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: fight wearing a tracksuit, looking very unpolished, like she hadn't
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: made much of an effort, people would have had a
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: go at her for that as well. I think the
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: murky area here is the fact that it was a
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: promotion for her brand and that she obviously made a
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: lot of money off it. So while I do think
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: it was quite a genius marketing ploy to sell this
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: white dress and get all this extra promotion of it,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure if her and her team thought through
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: how vulnerable women are in that postpartum stage and how
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: everyone does compare themselves and how that would have made
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: other people feel. Because it again doesn't align with her
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: brand of being relatable. I think the thing that concerned
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: me the most was some of the positive comments that
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: were left under Molly's photo. So one person wrote, wow,
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: where's her baby bump gone? She looks incredible. whilst another
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: said no belly and just given birth about a week ago.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: You look incredible. And the thing that concerns me the
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: most about that is that it's just playing into this
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: very archaic view that straight after birth, there should be
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: no visible sign that a woman has ever had a baby.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: The whole thing really surprised me because it was in
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: complete contrast to the way Molly May went about her
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: first pregnancy in terms of she was very open about
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: struggling with the way her body looked. And She didn't
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: like being seen in tight clothing. She would shy away
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: from attention. I mean, there was all of that publicity
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: around the fact that she didn't do that first L'Oreal catwalk.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: And she said at the time, like, I've only just
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: given birth, but my daughter is too. Like she was
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: joking around saying she still feels postpartum with a two-year-old.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: I think for me, I was just taken aback because
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: it doesn't align with what we've normally seen from her. Yeah.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: I mean, everyone on this podcast knows I love to
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: go back and have a look at old photos, at
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: old memories. And I couldn't help but look at what
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: I looked like 14 days postpartum and what I was
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: getting around in. I was getting around still in my
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: skims pajama pants, which I was pretending were pants. I
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: think that's just normal. I mean, I'm pretty sure she
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: would have gone straight home and put her pajamas on.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, the hard thing is like, I can't even
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: comprehend what Having to go to an event on that
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: scale two weeks postpartum would be an absolute nightmare. Okay,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: once you have kids, everything that used to be a
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: chore is now a break. Like yesterday, my wife came
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: up to me and she was like, hey, I'm going
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: to take our dog for a walk. But my brain heard, hey,
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go listen to a podcast for 15
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: minutes without the children. I was thinking about this. Am
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: I no longer postpartum? Because now that Luke has won,
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: surely I'm not anymore. Like when is the official cutoff?
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: When can I stop claiming it? Apparently from a medical sense,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: it's like six to eight weeks. However, I think that's
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: more of a mindset and like, because let's be honest,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: it's not just about healing from your birth. It's actually
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: healing mentally, emotionally, physically. Like that's how I see the
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: postpartum journey. I mean, I joked the other day, One
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: of our neighbours was like, oh, now that Jack's two,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: you're going to be getting so many questions about when
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: baby number two is coming. And I said, I still
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: feel postpartum. And she laughed. Well, the thing is, you're
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: talking about medical recovery. Doesn't a woman's body, if they've
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: had a cesarean, take at least two years to fully heal?
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Because don't you have like a wound the size of
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: a dish plate or something? Yeah, but I think more
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: like when you get the all clear from the doctor
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: at six weeks, Mark. That all clear is bullshit. Like
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: six weeks, you're still in the thick of it. Oh, definitely.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're still not sleeping. In terms of feeling
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: like yourself, though, I've seen a lot of people say
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: that it takes a year, two years, three years. It
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: really seems dependent on the person and the situation that
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: they're finding themselves in. I, the other day, had this
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: moment where I'm like, I feel like me again. Like,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: I feel like now that he's one, I'm no longer
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: in survival mode as much. And I've wanted to make
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: a conscious effort to do things that make me feel
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: like the old me again. So I have written a
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: fairly lofty list of things I want to start doing.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: You're bringing a lot of lists to this podcast. And
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I think it's because you've hit that milestone mark. It
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: was funny when I was brushing my teeth last night,
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: I was like, do I like checking in with myself?
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: I'm like, do I feel like my normal self? And
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I do finally. I mean, that's
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: two years on. I still think after they turn one,
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: there's so much change that goes on that it's sort
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: of like this How would you even describe it? Like
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: an assault course into learning how to deal with a
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: toddler over a baby. So you're still learning. And the
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: thing is, I wanted to share my list because I
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: feel like it might motivate other mums to start prioritizing
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: themselves again. I'm sure there will be mums of older
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: kids who roll their eyes and say, oh, you're never
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: going to get to be able to do this. But
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: if you don't write it down, I feel like you're
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: never going to take it seriously and take the steps
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: to do some of those things. Like even if I
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: don't get to obviously do all of those things, it's
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: nice to dream, isn't it? I mean, it's true. If
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: you don't etch out the time for yourself and also,
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're publicly stating this. So that means your
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: husband has to help make this happen. Well, my first
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: thing is when Daylight Savings is back, so I'm giving
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: myself a bit of time with this one. I want
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: to play tennis at least once a fortnight. I mean,
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I'd be very interested in doing that. I thought you're
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: going to say once a week because back in the
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: day when we were 18 and at uni, we were
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: down at the courts every night. But once a fortnight,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: it seems doable. Well, Well, we did a campaign, which
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: was an absolute dream, with Wilson last year. And for it,
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: we went and shot a funny, well, I say funny,
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I thought it was funny. We shot a reel at
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: the tennis clubs, at the courts where we used to play,
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: and it just felt so nostalgic. And I was like,
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: I want this feeling again. So I would love to
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: start playing tennis with you guys again. Sort of playing
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: into that, I do want to get into an exercise
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: routine again, because I used to work out at least,
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: two to three times a week. Since Luca, I can
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: count the amount of times that I've worked out over
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: this past year. The thing is, I don't want to
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: be like, oh, it's not about how I look, it's
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: about how I feel. It is actually about how I
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: feel because I don't feel strong. Like I'm lifting this
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: 10 kilo child everywhere, but I feel weak and I
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: don't feel good about myself. You know, like sometimes when
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: you work out, it's kind of nice to feel like
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: that pain because you feel like you've done something. Yeah.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Don't worry. You'll be feeling that pain soon when Luke
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: is a bit heavier because I'm just sort of thinking, God,
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: like I don't even have the motivation to work out
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: because I feel like I've gotten so strong from like
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: lifting Jack into the car and pushing that pram. I mean,
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: where I live in the hills, our walk, I mean,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: we do a dog walk every day. I know that's exercise,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: but we walk around the block and it's literally like
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: pushing 30 kilos up a hill. So I feel like
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: I get a lot of incidental exercise. So the thought
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: of actually exercising by choice in the few hours that
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I have to myself. No, thank you, but good for you.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: But you just feel so good after it because even
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: just like having that quiet time to yourself, just to
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: feel like you're doing something for you and it's not
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: for everyone else. I'd much rather play netball. I remember
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: we used to always play down at the Life Beginner
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Centre and there was this team we played. It was
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: like a mum's group. And what were they called? It
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: was something mums in the– Was it Mums Life or something?
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Mums for Life or something. Oh, we thought they were
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: so tragic because we were like in our early 20s.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: We were like, oh, these old mums. Haven't we had karma?
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: And they were so aggressive. But now I get it.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I totally get it. They were taking their anger out
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: on the court. It was their time to be away
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: from their kids and have a run around and get
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: that aggression out. Well, Kate, maybe you need to put
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: on your list to start playing netball again and I'd
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: be down for that too. Another thing on my list–
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: is to implement a weekly or fortnightly fake tan routine.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: Because if I'm not tanned, I don't feel good about myself.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: I don't feel like me again. I got a lot
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: of praise actually because throughout my pregnancy, people said I
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: wouldn't do it, but throughout my pregnancy, I stayed tanned
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: and looking good. I see. I assumed that you were
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: still doing it. I do it here and there but
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: not as much as I would like. Like I used
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: to be every week, Thursday night, do my tans. haven't
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: been doing it. See, I bought, it was Anna McAvoy's,
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: what's her brand called? Goldie Bee. Oh, that's really good.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: The face tanning spray. And I find that life changing
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: because I think in winter, I mean, I'm happy to
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: just get away with like spraying a bit of that
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: on my neck and hope that my makeup blends into it. See,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: I'm the sort of person that I love to have
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: a fake tan, but I don't like doing it. So
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: If I have an event on, particularly in winter or
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: even in summer sometimes, I'll assess which parts of my
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: body will be seen and then just tan those areas.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: This makes no sense to me. Like don't you look
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: weird if you've just got like your arms done and
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: not your body? Like where do you stop? You know
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Like do I– like I don't really care.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Like I'm seeing it and my husband. Like he's not
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: really going to have an issue with it. I just
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: think it would look really weird, like the harsh line
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: between pale and non-pale. Well, I'd rather just sleep comfortably
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: because I literally hate– sleeping in fake tans. There's something
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: exciting about it though. It's like Christmas morning, you're like
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: marinating away and then you wake up and you look
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: 10 times better. I mean, even before my cesarean, I
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: did a fake tan. I really wanted to do it
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: because I felt unconfident. And I was like, this whole
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: room full of people is going to see me in
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: the nude. Like it's, it's a lot anyway. So I
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: put a sports bra on cause I knew that I
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: would obviously be breastfeeding and I was like, Oh, I
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: don't want the baby to eat any of the tan.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: And then I couldn't get some on them. Well, Luca
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: did have jaundice. Maybe some of my tan rubbed off. Anyway,
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: and I also knew that you couldn't have tan on
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: your incision line. So then I also kept my undies
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: on and had to determine where the incision line was.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: So I had a bit of a kind of a
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: bikini line looking white. So were you trying to make
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: it look like you'd just actually tanned at the beach
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: in Davis? No, I just... knew that I couldn't for
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: medical reasons have it in those spots. I was trying
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: to be careful. You weren't even meant to wear the tan.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: This was what annoyed me because I was the first
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: to have a cesarean out of the three of us.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: I went by the book, like the rule said, you
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: can't have any fake tan, you can't have your nails done,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: you can't wear makeup, blah, blah, blah. So I felt
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: so shit about myself. I made you guys come and
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: put makeup on me straight after the surgery. And then
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: you guys just rolled into surgery with makeup on and
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: tan on and no one said anything. My baby number two,
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be looking bloody glamorous because the other
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: day I was looking back at the photos and I
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: was like, holy fuck, these are dreadful. Well, I had
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: a few people commenting on our Tata Life thread that,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: oh my God, why did she have so much makeup on?
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: She had more makeup on than at her wedding. And
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: it was like, look, the makeup was doing a lot
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: of heavy lifting. I was trying to feel good about myself.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Do you know Sophie? That's just your normal everyday look.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: That's me. That's my... We're getting off topic here, but
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: I remember... a couple of years ago going to pickups
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: and groceries and this older man was like, have you
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: just been at a photo shoot or something? And I
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: was like, why? And he's like, I just got so
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: much makeup on. And I was like, dude, I'm doing
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: nothing at home. Like I'm literally, that's my everyday look. Anyway,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: something else on my list, and I don't know whether
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: to go for it or not, you have to tell me, Kate,
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: is to get my ears pierced, to get my second
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: holes slash a little cool one. I don't even know
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: what they're called. I've been hearing about it so often
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: that I just want you to get it done now.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Like I just think get it done, but I know
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: you're going to whinge about it, but at least it
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: just grows over. Yeah, I'm so torn now because I
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: feel like everyone looks cool when they do it. I'm like, oh,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: I want to be a cool mum. But then I'm
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: like verging on, do I look a bit tragic if
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: I go the full, you know, ear jewellery? What do
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: they call them? See, I'm so low maintenance that I
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: never even put earrings in because they just hurt my ears.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Like I honestly swear since COVID I just have no
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: time for being uncomfortable. And it's not good for me,
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: particularly because I really need to invest in some new
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: clothes and actually go out in clothes that don't have
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: an elasticated waist or aren't leggings. Well, that's on my list.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: I want to work on my cool mom wardrobe. So
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: I want to invest in some active wear pieces that
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: I know I'm going to wear day to day that
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: actually look put together and that all match. So it
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter if things are mixed and match. I don't
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: have to think about it. See, I've heard that matching
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: active wears out. I'm sorry to tell you that. No,
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: not that they match, that they're both the same, but
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: they're all sort of the same tonal colors. ORTC actually
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: has some really cool track suits and rugby tops and stuff.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: So I've got one of them. I want to get
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: some more. See, I would love to get a stylist
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: on this podcast and have a chat about what we
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: can all do after having a baby to find our
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: style again. Because when you look at the clothes in
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: your wardrobe, you're like, this is not me anymore. This
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: was a different person. And I'm not saying anything to
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: do with the size, like you may still fit into
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: the clothes, but they just don't reflect who you are anymore.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: I've been impressed with Amy. I feel like she's gone
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: out and got this full new sort of Gen Z
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: look for herself because she's She's got these really cool
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: flare tights that everyone's wearing and I want to get some.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: But my husband keeps saying, don't get them. The ones
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: you wear now look great. I'm not a fan of
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: the flares. Well, why don't you just get one pair
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: of them and just rotate them? Yeah, we'll see. See,
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: I really want to copy Amy and get some Adidas
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: trackies like the ones Molly Mae wears. But I just
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: feel like I probably can't pull it off. You can though.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: I think it's all about pairing it with like a
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: tighter top. Like I think you can't go baggy and
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: then baggy. Yeah. Now, I also want to get some
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: new sunglasses because I'm feeling very self-conscious. I feel like
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: my sunglasses are very millennial and I know I don't
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: like using that word as a put down, but I
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: want to get some of the wide framed ones or
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: the ones with sort of the cat eye. If anyone
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: has some good recommendations, I keep seeing, is it Sheoak?
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: I don't know. They must be targeting me. I keep
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: seeing their sunglasses, but I've heard mixed reviews. I think
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Margot Robbie wore some of them and maybe that's why
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: I'm guessing. See, all of these things sound really great.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: But by the end of the day, when I'm scrolling
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: on my phone, what I'll do is I'll open all
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: these tabs of say Adidas original track pants. And then
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know if anyone else gets this, but I
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: find it so overwhelming to make a decision that I
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: just close every tab. I do that all the time
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh, I don't really want that. I
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: don't know if I want to spend the money. And
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I've literally spent hours and hours and hours looking at
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: it at night time. I think that must be a
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: mum thing because I'll go to the shops with my
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: son and I'll just buy anything for him. I'm like,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, he needs that new clothes. Oh yeah, this toy, blah, blah, blah.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: But then when it comes to spending money on myself,
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh no, I just can't justify it. Yeah.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: You're like, this is unnecessary. Now something else on my
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: list is to always make sure that my drink bottle
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: is full. Now I definitely haven't done that today. This
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: is embarrassing to admit. I don't even think I've had
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: a glass of water today. Not one sip. I'm just terrible, Sophie.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: I need to stop living off fridge ciggies because that
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: is all I've been living off. Like I am ashamed.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: What is a fridge ciggie for those unaware? Because I
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: only came across this recently. You don't know what it is.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: It's a Diet Coke, like a can of Diet Coke, well,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: can of Coke, no sugar. Like I have been living
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: off them. Like it'll hit 3 p.m. Like once my
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: son gets up from his lunchtime nap, I'm like I
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: need a fridge ciggie. And it's terrible because I try
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: to limit myself to one a day and most days
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: I'll be like, no, I'll just have another one. Like
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: it's terrible. You need to get the remedy sodally. It's,
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's sort of try and wean yourself off
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: the Coke Zero. My other one is I need to
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: stay on top of my iron tablets and get an
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: iron infusion. So when I was pregnant, I religiously took
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: all of my vitamins. Like without a doubt, I was like, yep,
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: the baby needs them. As soon as he was born, nah,
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: don't worry about myself, not taking any of them. I
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: desperately need it and it will make me feel so
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: much better. So I need to do it. I'm the same.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: I have low iron, but I actually want to get
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: myself one of those like old people pill packet things.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: It's like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. It's funny because our dog
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: has one of them for her anxiety medication. I'm like,
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: I really need to purchase one for myself. Again, always
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: looking out for others. I wonder if other mums can
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: relate to this one. On my list, it's to clean
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: out my car and wash my car and to keep
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: it in a civilised state because I feel like if
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: your car is clean, your mind is clean. Like I
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: just have all these random toys thrown everywhere. I've got like,
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: you know, packets and rubbish and it's just embarrassing. Or
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: just yoga packets and listeners about Spoken will know that.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: I opened my car on the weekend and my husband
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: and I both recoiled and we're like, something stinks in
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: here and we can't work out what. And I'm like,
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: for fuck's sake, because I feel like smells just linger.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: Once you get a smell in the car, your car
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: does smell like yogurt or smoothies. What, at the moment? Well,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I remember you would always, like this is pre-Jack, you'd
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: always bring your smoothie in the car to work and
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: then you'd leave it there. No, I didn't leave it,
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: not in my new car. Well, I don't know. I
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: remember one of your cars smelled like Yeah, that was
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: my old car. I've made a big effort not to
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: leave smoothies in that car. Why does it still smell
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: like smoothies? Well, it smelled like something the other day. Yeah,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: I told you it smells at the moment, but it
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: did before. I actually dropped some cheese and bacon shapes
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: in there. I think that's what sort of set it off.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: I'm going to wrap things up because I feel like
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: this list is going off course. My other thing I
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: really want to do is hold some girls' nights at
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: my house because I really enjoy doing this. When I
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: was pregnant, I held a Christmas girls' night and we
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: did like painted candles and had everyone bought a plate
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: and we had cute food and we got dressed in
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: our PJs. And I just feel like I love hosting
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: like small little events like that. See, I suggested this
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: at the start of the year because I came across
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: a TikTok where a girl was doing a monthly dinner
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: party and it was themed. So like January was kind
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: of like New Year's themed. February, like Valentine's Day. Like
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: if there was a specific holiday celebration, it would be
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: that theme. But then, you know, you could go a
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: bit off course. And I was like, why don't we
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: all do that except divide it amongst us? Can we
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: do that moving forward? Yeah. let's do it the only
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: thing is I just Christmas in July I mean I'm
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: getting so excited with this list but then again I
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: don't actually know what I'm going to find the time
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: to do any of these things that's the difficulty a
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: lot of them are just shopping and getting your ears
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: pierced like I don't think they're Well, on that note,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: let's put a thread in our Facebook community and I
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: want other mums to share things that they are going
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: to do in this next year to prioritise themselves. Well,
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: that is where we're going to wrap things up today.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: If you enjoy the podcast, can you please do us
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: a favour? If you're not already following the Mums Group
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts, please
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: make sure you're doing so. It means a lot to us.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: And if you do enjoy the show, we would really
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: appreciate it if you can leave us a review. This
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: podcast is recorded on the traditional land of the Kaurna
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: people of the Adelaide Plains. We pay respect to elders
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: past and present.