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Transcript

Heterosexuality is Gooning · Like a Virgin

0:03
Speaker 1: Time, that's straight, the space time continuous? Is gay matter,
0:10
Speaker 1: is trans matter?
0:13
Speaker 2: She's sheen ami, no ma, not n yo yo. What
0:22
Speaker 2: is your challenge?
0:24
Speaker 1: I am a chokund.
0:28
Speaker 2: You know what's going down before round.
0:42
Speaker 1: Welcome to Like a Virgin, the show where we give
0:44
Speaker 1: yesterday's pop culture. Today's takes Arma's Damu.
0:47
Speaker 2: And I'm Frank Rada.
0:48
Speaker 1: And it is Thursday, which means the final episode of
0:52
Speaker 1: Dress Like That is airing today, and that means that
0:54
Speaker 1: tomorrow we will have a recap of it live on
0:58
Speaker 1: our Patreon Patreon slash Like a Virgin. So go become
1:02
Speaker 1: a patron now and hear us probably screaming for forty
1:07
Speaker 1: five minutes about how horrible it is. And if you
1:12
Speaker 1: haven't gotten into our patreon yet, there is an extra
1:15
Speaker 1: delicious little clip from this week's Patreon at the very
1:18
Speaker 1: end of this episode. This week's is discussing Mulin Rouge
1:22
Speaker 1: with none other than Laurel Charleston. Subscribe to our patreon
1:27
Speaker 1: to get the full episode, but just a snippet at
1:28
Speaker 1: the end of this one. Again, that is patreon dot
1:31
Speaker 1: com slash Like a Virgin and our episode today is
1:38
Speaker 1: all about something truly sinister and sickening. That is a
1:46
Speaker 1: play in the world and something that thankfully both of
1:52
Speaker 1: us have escaped the clutches of. And that is heterosexuality. Yes, heterosexuality,
2:02
Speaker 1: What is it? And what causes it? In the words
2:04
Speaker 1: of Willie Norris, we honestly, I was reminiscing when I
2:10
Speaker 1: was like hopping over to the studio today, And by
2:11
Speaker 1: the studio, I mean my office next to all of
2:15
Speaker 1: my vintage pornography and rose have you ever. I'm gonna say, Okay,
2:22
Speaker 1: you and I. I used to be heterosexual, or I
2:25
Speaker 1: used to think I was heterosexual. I think this was
2:28
Speaker 1: maybe I used to pretend to be heterosexual. Well, I
2:31
Speaker 1: fully did actually think I was or could be. Well,
2:35
Speaker 1: And so then you were lying to yourself.
2:38
Speaker 2: I absolutely was.
2:39
Speaker 1: And in the period where maybe you were lying to yourself,
2:44
Speaker 1: was there any anything in heterosexual culture that you maybe
2:50
Speaker 1: really secretly loved or partook in and now you're ashamed of? Yeah,
2:55
Speaker 1: I was so gay, and I was so interested in
3:00
Speaker 1: gay things, and like you know, like I did. I
3:04
Speaker 1: went to an art school, like I did theater. All
3:07
Speaker 1: of my friends were girls. I really didn't participate in
3:12
Speaker 1: any hetero culture like at all. I'm really like trying
3:18
Speaker 1: to do the assignment and like racking my brain and actually,
3:24
Speaker 1: just honestly, don't think I ever pretended to like anything straight.
3:30
Speaker 1: You're actually touching on Oh wait, wait wait, I do
3:32
Speaker 1: have an answer. Okay, it's not from my adolescence. Okay,
3:36
Speaker 1: So when I was in when I was in college
3:39
Speaker 1: and just after college, I had a predominantly straight group
3:43
Speaker 1: of friends, and some of them listened to this podcast,
3:47
Speaker 1: so you know, for forgive me for this, but they
3:51
Speaker 1: were very into blues music and like Bob Dylan and
3:57
Speaker 1: acoustic guitars and stuff, and so so at a certain
4:01
Speaker 1: point like this is like like the end of college
4:04
Speaker 1: and like right after college, like a lot of the
4:08
Speaker 1: parties we had or that I went to were very
4:11
Speaker 1: much characterized by a bunch of people like sitting in
4:16
Speaker 1: a circle singing along to Bob Dylan. And I did
4:20
Speaker 1: pretend to be into that, like, probably not very well,
4:25
Speaker 1: but I participated in it. And it is a reason
4:27
Speaker 1: why at a certain point in my life I had
4:29
Speaker 1: a rule that you could not come into my apartment
4:32
Speaker 1: if you had an acoustic guitar with you because of
4:35
Speaker 1: the trauma I experienced during that time. And yeah, I
4:41
Speaker 1: did pretend to be into that sort of like let's
4:43
Speaker 1: all sit around and sing and like drink whiskey and
4:46
Speaker 1: like hahaha. And I actually hated it. And that is
4:50
Speaker 1: the reason why when my best friend from high school
4:56
Speaker 1: moved to New York City and had had kind of
4:57
Speaker 1: similar experience, that's why and I like teamed up and
5:01
Speaker 1: started exploring queerness together, and that's what kind of led
5:04
Speaker 1: me into queer night life and stuff. Was like that
5:09
Speaker 1: rejection of that kind of straight culture. So yeah, So
5:13
Speaker 1: in my youth, I like was very true to myself
5:16
Speaker 1: and very self possessed and was like no, no hetero.
5:20
Speaker 1: And then yeah, like in my young adulthood, I did
5:25
Speaker 1: backslide a little bit, but then I like swung very
5:27
Speaker 1: hard in the opposite direction. What about you, Fran, What
5:30
Speaker 1: did you well pretend to like?
5:33
Speaker 2: Can I say something about Bob Dylan?
5:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, folks, well, yes, I just I feel like, Okay,
5:41
Speaker 1: I consider myself a very open person in terms of
5:46
Speaker 1: like cultural consumption.
5:48
Speaker 2: I will listen to a lot of things. I will
5:49
Speaker 2: watch a lot of things.
5:50
Speaker 1: If people recommend me stuff or tell me that it's
5:53
Speaker 1: important to them, I'm going to listen to it. And
5:55
Speaker 1: particularly the whole part of this podcast. Yes, and particularly
5:58
Speaker 1: like if someone's gonna turn on some music and I
6:01
Speaker 1: don't love the music, I'm still gonna like listen to it,
6:04
Speaker 1: or I'm still gonna find a way to enjoy it
6:06
Speaker 1: or figure out how it's a specific vibe that can
6:08
Speaker 1: be enjoyed. Right if someone turns on Bob Dylan, I
6:15
Speaker 1: am actually standing up and saying, turn that shit off.
6:21
Speaker 1: I actually, actually, I actually that's like one of the
6:25
Speaker 1: few next to like sorry, Ava Max Slater, and maybe
6:31
Speaker 1: like the Beatles. I mean Ava Max's song on the
6:33
Speaker 1: Barbie album is good.
6:35
Speaker 2: Honestly, I guess I'm sure I do have that.
6:37
Speaker 1: I do have the term Ava Max muted on Twitter though,
6:40
Speaker 1: way yeah no. But also, like the Beatles is kind
6:43
Speaker 1: of in this category. It's like, if you try to
6:45
Speaker 1: play the Beatles at a function, I'm standing up and
6:49
Speaker 1: I'm saying, turn that shit off. Well, it's just not
6:52
Speaker 1: party music. That kind of is not party music. The
6:55
Speaker 1: one thing I will give that time in my life
6:57
Speaker 1: is that it did sort of help lead me to
7:01
Speaker 1: discovering Patti Smith. Although also that was the era of
7:07
Speaker 1: when just Kids came out, so it was like part
7:10
Speaker 1: of the culture, so I will I will give it that,
7:13
Speaker 1: but yeah, I just like, you know, we're there that
7:19
Speaker 1: time in my life, I did not besides Lady Gaga,
7:23
Speaker 1: I like didn't listen to pop music because I was
7:26
Speaker 1: like ashamed to like it because none of my friends
7:29
Speaker 1: listened to it, and I just like pretended to be
7:33
Speaker 1: into the things that they were into, and I it
7:37
Speaker 1: was a It was a very short period of time,
7:40
Speaker 1: but I still look back on it and I'm like, ough, gross,
7:42
Speaker 1: I should have not done that. Anyway, What straight things
7:47
Speaker 1: did you pretend to? Like? Honestly, so many things like
7:51
Speaker 1: American Eagle, like gay, I know right, it was kind
7:56
Speaker 1: of gay. I used to have a crush on Lindsay Lohan.
7:59
Speaker 1: I think I've talked about them or the first thing. Honestly,
8:01
Speaker 1: when you but you're really just like Diva, I'd be like,
8:03
Speaker 1: I love your long hair, Diva. No, I feel like
8:08
Speaker 1: the I feel like pretending to have a crush on
8:10
Speaker 1: Ladzy Lohan is so funny. It's like pretending like a
8:14
Speaker 1: like a closeted gig. I being like, yeah, lady, that
8:16
Speaker 1: Lady Gaga is so fucking hot.
8:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, that Lady Gaga is so hot. I love her
8:21
Speaker 2: cool costumes. They're so hot, her hot, sludy costumes. I love.
8:26
Speaker 1: I would be like, I would literally and this is
8:28
Speaker 1: not this is not an exaggeration. I'd literally be in
8:31
Speaker 1: like fourth or fifth grade and I'd be like, I'd
8:34
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, I love Lindsay Lohan because I think
8:36
Speaker 1: her freckles are so hot. We are hot.
8:41
Speaker 2: I know, it's like not a thing.
8:43
Speaker 1: Anyways, So when you were talking about music, I immediately thought
8:46
Speaker 1: about how the first one of the first two albums
8:49
Speaker 1: I ever bought was The Black Eyed Peas. I believe
8:53
Speaker 1: elephunk or if not, no, maybe it was a monkey business.
8:56
Speaker 2: It was a Black Eyed.
8:56
Speaker 1: Peas, the one with pump it out of And that
9:01
Speaker 1: is actually a musical taste that I have that has
9:04
Speaker 1: withstood the test of time.
9:05
Speaker 2: And I might have maybe not listened.
9:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not streat music, the Black Eyed and you
9:12
Speaker 1: know it, Rose black Eyed Peas is pat neurosexual culture,
9:16
Speaker 1: like Black Eyed Peas is flash mob culture. It's Oprah
9:20
Speaker 1: special culture, it's good Morning America culture. It's heterosexuality. I well,
9:28
Speaker 1: I do think you're you are and this is I
9:31
Speaker 1: know this, there's nuance here, but I do think you're
9:33
Speaker 1: conflating heterosexual culture with just monoculture in general, and like, yes,
9:40
Speaker 1: at the time, at the time when the Black Eyed
9:43
Speaker 1: Peas were really popular, monoculture was extremely straight. But I
9:48
Speaker 1: just want to like, I just want to say, like,
9:50
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think the music the Black
9:52
Speaker 1: Eyed Peas made like is there's inherently something like broie
9:58
Speaker 1: or hetero or whatever about it. I think it's just
10:00
Speaker 1: at the time when like the monoculture was so strong
10:04
Speaker 1: and it was so straight that those things, wait, are
10:06
Speaker 1: that's actually okay, I've never even thought about that, but
10:09
Speaker 1: like truly, especially thinking about like the aughts and the
10:12
Speaker 1: twenty ten specifically are excruciatingly heterosexual. Like actually, like heterosexual
10:19
Speaker 1: was so prevalent, and it's like funny actually to think
10:23
Speaker 1: now that in twenty twenty three, like monoculture is kind
10:26
Speaker 1: of gay. Like it's like like all our icons are gay,
10:30
Speaker 1: all our celebrities are gay.
10:31
Speaker 2: The way we talk is gay.
10:32
Speaker 1: Like now straight people say like slay, Yeah, like that's
10:36
Speaker 1: kind of crazy. Yeah, drag race is more consumed by
10:41
Speaker 1: straight people than gay people. Yeah, Like now straight people
10:44
Speaker 1: pretend to like gay things to seem cool. You know,
10:47
Speaker 1: it's one thing I've I'm not pretending to like just
10:51
Speaker 1: to squeeze a little topicality into this chit chat section.
10:55
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, of course is.
10:58
Speaker 1: The Addison Ray ep. Baby Okay have you listened? Yeah,
11:04
Speaker 1: girl girl? It is the fame era Gaga tease she
11:10
Speaker 1: even had. She even recorded one of Gaga's demos. It's
11:15
Speaker 1: so catchy and like like like fizzy, like like when
11:22
Speaker 1: you pour a coke into a glass, like it's like
11:24
Speaker 1: the fizz at the top, Like that's what this EP is.
11:27
Speaker 1: It is eleven minutes long. It's really good. There's a
11:33
Speaker 1: Charlie XCX feature on it. The Gaga demo that she
11:37
Speaker 1: did a rendition of is Nothing on About the Radio,
11:40
Speaker 1: which was famously like supposed to be on Born This
11:43
Speaker 1: Way then it was supposed to be on Art Pop.
11:44
Speaker 1: There are like there, there are lots of there's a
11:48
Speaker 1: demo version of it on YouTube, and obviously, like Addison
11:51
Speaker 1: Ray doesn't sound as good as Gaga does, but it's
11:54
Speaker 1: very fun and it's just like a dumb little ep
11:56
Speaker 1: and she kind of is the queen of pop. Wait
12:00
Speaker 1: and I've never cared about Addison Ray before ever, but
12:03
Speaker 1: now I see the little monster she is and I
12:06
Speaker 1: have to respect that that is such a I did
12:10
Speaker 1: not know about the demo. That is such a serve
12:13
Speaker 1: just from your description. I have yet to listen to
12:15
Speaker 1: the EP. I was seeing people tweet about it. I'm
12:17
Speaker 1: going to listen to it. It is eleven minutes and
12:19
Speaker 1: fifty seven seconds, and there.
12:21
Speaker 2: Are I mean song is too. Yeah, every song is
12:25
Speaker 2: two minutes and fifteen seconds.
12:26
Speaker 1: Love that.
12:28
Speaker 2: I can't wait to listen.
12:31
Speaker 1: Is she just I don't need a full history, but
12:33
Speaker 1: she is a TikToker And then she had a Netflix special.
12:36
Speaker 1: She became famous, I believe during COVID for doing those
12:42
Speaker 1: little dances on TikTok. Then she was people that get
12:45
Speaker 1: famous during COVID. Honestly, you know, the cream of the crop. Definitely,
12:50
Speaker 1: she is always serving as culture. She was sort of
12:53
Speaker 1: a plant friend on Keeping up with the Kardashians, like
12:58
Speaker 1: the final season, she was like friends quote unquote with Courtney.
13:03
Speaker 1: And then yes, she starred in Netflix's She's All That Real.
13:09
Speaker 1: I almost said, I almost said She's the Man remake,
13:12
Speaker 1: which I wish now that Netflix is She's All That
13:18
Speaker 1: remake He's All That which I have watched it is horrible.
13:23
Speaker 1: And then since then, I think she's mainly but like,
13:27
Speaker 1: she was supposed to have an album come out and
13:29
Speaker 1: then it leaked and so she scrapped it. I really
13:31
Speaker 1: only know this from like things that I've gleaned on
13:33
Speaker 1: Twitter and likes. Occasionally they'll talk about her on HOO weekly,
13:38
Speaker 1: And then I think since then, she's just been kind
13:40
Speaker 1: of like being famous, like in a very unspecific way,
13:44
Speaker 1: and she has had some gaggy fashion moments wearing like
13:48
Speaker 1: cool archival stuff, and now she released this EP and
13:52
Speaker 1: it is sickening. So this is a person who's famous
13:56
Speaker 1: for being famous, but lo and behold, she has the talent,
13:58
Speaker 1: and the talent is well, she was famous for dancing
14:03
Speaker 1: on TikTok and you know that's right dance. That is
14:06
Speaker 1: some kind of talent. And she like was, Yeah, I
14:11
Speaker 1: mean I don't care about her, but the CP is fun.
14:14
Speaker 2: I'm about to care about her.
14:16
Speaker 1: So yeah, not on not a lot of like topical
14:18
Speaker 1: pop culture this week. But I hope you I hope
14:21
Speaker 1: you enjoyed our little, uh sort of intro into our
14:27
Speaker 1: larger conversation about heterosexuality, which is coming up after the break.
14:33
Speaker 1: And oh, make sure that you subscribe to the patriotic
14:38
Speaker 1: dot com slash like a Virgin. Was there ever a
14:59
Speaker 1: time in your life you wanted to be straight? I
15:05
Speaker 1: mean probably every day, every hour until I was like
15:09
Speaker 1: seventeen or eighteen. Yeah, that was probably, Yes, my my
15:12
Speaker 1: greatest wish that. And I wish that I was circumcised
15:16
Speaker 1: because I thought that my dick looked weird.
15:17
Speaker 2: But I love my dick now so now.
15:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I also don't want to be straight anymore,
15:22
Speaker 1: which is great. What about you, I got information? Yeah, yeah,
15:27
Speaker 1: I really really processing all that. I think the only
15:33
Speaker 1: time I actually wanted to be straight was not ever
15:37
Speaker 1: when I was gay. It was after I transitioned. I
15:44
Speaker 1: wanted to be a straight woman, you know, that was
15:48
Speaker 1: the fantasy, and that was very much like my vibe
15:52
Speaker 1: for after kind of the terrible twos of transness. Then
15:56
Speaker 1: I progressed to this point where I was like, I
15:58
Speaker 1: don't want to be queer anymore. I want to be unclockable,
16:01
Speaker 1: and I want to be a hetero woman. I want
16:03
Speaker 1: to be stealth. So that was really the only time
16:06
Speaker 1: when I ever even flirted with the idea of heterosexuality,
16:10
Speaker 1: which is, let's say this a disease, A disease one
16:14
Speaker 1: hundred percent, an epidemic that has become now a national problem,
16:18
Speaker 1: an international problem, the international implications of it, an international
16:23
Speaker 1: problem that we are remedying in real time.
16:26
Speaker 2: I feel like there are.
16:26
Speaker 1: Fewer and fewer heterosexuals in the population thanks to the
16:29
Speaker 1: work that we have done on this podcast, and one
16:32
Speaker 1: day it will be eradicated.
16:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, one day.
16:35
Speaker 1: And honestly, I'm okay not to start here, but because
16:38
Speaker 1: you were talking about it, like the notion of heterosexuality
16:42
Speaker 1: as like a trans girl or trans guy, and how
16:45
Speaker 1: it is kind of this upper echelon of achievement where
16:47
Speaker 1: the ultimate fantasy if you're adult is to be in
16:51
Speaker 1: a relationship with a heterosexual man, Like that is still
16:58
Speaker 1: a pinnacle that people that people want to achieve, like
17:03
Speaker 1: something that I would even fantasize about.
17:06
Speaker 2: And yet I don't know a single trans person.
17:10
Speaker 1: That would ever identify as straight, ever, even if they
17:13
Speaker 1: were technically in a quote unquote straight relationship, Like I
17:16
Speaker 1: don't know any queer women or men. I don't know
17:18
Speaker 1: any trans women or men that are like I'm straight, Like,
17:23
Speaker 1: never heard that before in my life. I'm I've heard
17:26
Speaker 1: people say it jokingly. Yeah, and maybe somewhat aspirationally, but
17:33
Speaker 1: never like said it in a way where they're like,
17:36
Speaker 1: this is my reality and thank God for that. But
17:38
Speaker 1: I'm sure they exist. Yeah, I'm sure they exist. And
17:41
Speaker 1: like that's the other thing is like I feel like
17:44
Speaker 1: this is just my experience. I feel like this is
17:46
Speaker 1: also your opinion that if you're trans and you're in
17:50
Speaker 1: a relationship that's a queer relationship period, Like that is
17:55
Speaker 1: kind of to me how I would function in any relationship.
18:00
Speaker 1: I do think the straightest relationship a transperson could be
18:03
Speaker 1: in is a boy girl tea for tea couples is
18:05
Speaker 1: a boy girl teav and that's maybe the straightest relationship
18:08
Speaker 1: that exists in the world because you have you have
18:11
Speaker 1: tried so hard to achieve heterosexuality that it's more heterosexual
18:17
Speaker 1: than just assists hetero couple. Yes, because you both in
18:21
Speaker 1: your own ways have like assimilated in some I mean sorry,
18:25
Speaker 1: like medical transition is a kind of assimilation, whether we
18:28
Speaker 1: want to admit it or not.
18:29
Speaker 2: And in that kind of.
18:30
Speaker 1: Assimilation, you've tried to maximize your own masculinity or feminity.
18:35
Speaker 1: You are trying to execute on the most man or
18:39
Speaker 1: most woman you can be it's a hat on top
18:41
Speaker 1: of the hat. Yes, And when you're most men and
18:43
Speaker 1: most women and you love each other.
18:46
Speaker 2: That's heterosexuality. Baby is here.
18:48
Speaker 1: We are making points, doing the real work on like
18:50
Speaker 1: a Virgin four twenty sixty nine period. I know so
18:56
Speaker 1: view straight people, and there was I even't talked to
19:00
Speaker 1: a straight person in days. There was a period of
19:03
Speaker 1: my life when I really did not interact to with
19:09
Speaker 1: straight people for weeks, if not months at a time
19:14
Speaker 1: outside of you know, maybe like the checkout person at
19:19
Speaker 1: a bodega or like a waiter at a restaurant. Like
19:22
Speaker 1: my social circle, romantic circle, everything was entirely queer people.
19:28
Speaker 1: And having to then start factoring straight people into my
19:35
Speaker 1: life on a day to day basis was extremely jarring
19:38
Speaker 1: because sometimes I would say things and then realize, oh,
19:42
Speaker 1: that's something that this person would not understand, or like
19:46
Speaker 1: I said something that's like just for us.
19:48
Speaker 2: Inside jokey and not talking about callin Lord or whatever.
19:51
Speaker 1: Yeah, and even now I don't have a lot of
19:54
Speaker 1: straight friends. You know, I support their choices, but it's
19:59
Speaker 1: very weird when I really when I remember that someone
20:03
Speaker 1: in my life who I love is straight.
20:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, I have like three straight friends.
20:10
Speaker 1: I think maybe four. I used to have more, but
20:12
Speaker 1: they've all transitioned or come out as queer. And I
20:16
Speaker 1: I'm you know, but inclusion is really important.
20:18
Speaker 2: Road it is.
20:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to be an ally to the straight community. Well,
20:21
Speaker 1: they're in dire need, they're in pain, they're in pain,
20:25
Speaker 1: they're living a live. I mean, look at the news
20:27
Speaker 1: right now, do you like, come on, aliens, Lizzo. I
20:33
Speaker 1: mean also, like in twenty twenty three, being straight is
20:37
Speaker 1: such a choice.
20:39
Speaker 2: It is, it is.
20:40
Speaker 1: Their lifestyle is sick and twisted. It's like and I
20:43
Speaker 1: just like, grow up, grow up, grow up, eat pussy,
20:47
Speaker 1: suck dick, grow up or whole or whatever. Then you know,
20:51
Speaker 1: you're a non specific gender term.
20:53
Speaker 2: Whatever your non specific orifice is.
20:56
Speaker 1: But it's I, you know, like I live so we
21:01
Speaker 1: as we talked about on our fan fiction episode with
21:04
Speaker 1: Ashley Reese, fan fiction is sort of the one sphere
21:08
Speaker 1: in which heterosexuality is in the minority. And I have
21:13
Speaker 1: really applied that to my life. And I do think
21:16
Speaker 1: as we you know, progress as a as a modern society,
21:21
Speaker 1: that will only become true or and truer in the
21:24
Speaker 1: world at large. And like, yes, I'm saying that in
21:26
Speaker 1: a somewhat joking way, but like I also do believe
21:29
Speaker 1: that like the future is queer, Like I want to
21:32
Speaker 1: kill myself, but like, but I do think that in well,
21:36
Speaker 1: I mean, I was gonna say, in a hundred years,
21:38
Speaker 1: everyone will be queer, but like in one hundred years
21:40
Speaker 1: this planet won't exist. But in one hundred years, like
21:42
Speaker 1: the aliens who have you know, sort of like absorbed
21:47
Speaker 1: some of our like society through watching it from their spaceships,
21:54
Speaker 1: like they will all be queer.
21:56
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, one hundred percent.
21:57
Speaker 1: And in my mind, and I hope soon and everybody
22:00
Speaker 1: else's mind gay until proven heterosexual, I will assume like
22:05
Speaker 1: and honestly tangentially trans until provences like I and anybody
22:11
Speaker 1: I speak to or or interact with. That's how I operate,
22:15
Speaker 1: and I do. I mean not to be the girl
22:17
Speaker 1: on the pod with the data, but like so many
22:20
Speaker 1: different studies, that's who you are, that's who I am,
22:22
Speaker 1: but so many different palls. We don't know if the
22:25
Speaker 1: data is correct, but we know, you know. That is
22:27
Speaker 1: the thing about queer trands data is that it is
22:29
Speaker 1: like heavily skewed and also using like way smaller sample
22:32
Speaker 1: groups than they should. However, there have been enough studies
22:35
Speaker 1: to show that you know, as much as half of
22:39
Speaker 1: gen Z identifies as something other than straight, that at
22:43
Speaker 1: least a third of them knows someone trans or someone
22:45
Speaker 1: that uses the them pronouns, and just as much a
22:49
Speaker 1: sizable chunk of them are people that have this fluency
22:54
Speaker 1: or knowledge or wherewithal about trans people and queer people
22:59
Speaker 1: and way that we never had access to.
23:02
Speaker 2: And we're on the winning team.
23:03
Speaker 1: Sorry. So like when gen Z like mushrooms and becomes
23:07
Speaker 1: the purchasing power and the people that make the decisions,
23:10
Speaker 1: like all these dinosaurs are just gonna go to bed.
23:12
Speaker 1: I mean, I look at the sample of just my
23:14
Speaker 1: own family and of my mother's for children, three of
23:20
Speaker 1: us are queer. Yeah, and the there is one straight
23:23
Speaker 1: one and he is like the straightest person ever.
23:27
Speaker 2: Right, but that's just data.
23:28
Speaker 1: But he's still in the minority, right And yes, And
23:34
Speaker 1: I won't stop until all straight people are dead. I
23:36
Speaker 1: won't stop tell all my siblings are transitioned and gay.
23:42
Speaker 2: I yeah, no, it's true.
23:44
Speaker 1: It's it's something that I honestly, I almost feel like
23:47
Speaker 1: the democratization of like queer identities and knowledge around queer
23:54
Speaker 1: people has almost emboldened the wrong people sometimes, like I mean, well,
23:59
Speaker 1: I feel like there are certain people that will say
24:04
Speaker 1: that their gender is fluid, or that they are non binary,
24:07
Speaker 1: or that they will use quote unquote any pronouns, but
24:10
Speaker 1: they are, for put, in any other terms, a heterosexual
24:14
Speaker 1: in a heterosexual relationship with heterosexual communities in a heterosexual world.
24:20
Speaker 1: But the effort for these people to open up about
24:23
Speaker 1: their gender, which is obviously different from orientation, inducts them
24:27
Speaker 1: into a kind of queer community that they then get
24:30
Speaker 1: to belong to without any fluency or practice in But
24:34
Speaker 1: you know, it's like they're trying to do something good.
24:36
Speaker 1: And if we're thinking about either gender liberation or sexual liberation, yes,
24:41
Speaker 1: the goal is for as many people as possible to
24:44
Speaker 1: be a part of the thing that we are, but
24:48
Speaker 1: it also creates people that talk a lot and take
24:51
Speaker 1: up a lot of space. This is actually making me
24:54
Speaker 1: think think about something that's quite relevant, which is heterosexuals
24:59
Speaker 1: that were briefly gay or by in media before deciding
25:03
Speaker 1: they weren't anymore, which included aforementioned Lizzo, who used to
25:07
Speaker 1: identify as by or sexually fluid and now identifies.
25:10
Speaker 2: As an ally.
25:11
Speaker 1: So did Nicki Minaj, Yes, Nicki Minaj famously, Katie Perry famously.
25:15
Speaker 1: I would say Gaga, though you and I disagree about this, well,
25:18
Speaker 1: I don't agree. Gaga has never walked back her bisexuality, however,
25:22
Speaker 1: and we identify as an ally. Sure, but no, you're
25:26
Speaker 1: right she I think she is a queer woman. I
25:29
Speaker 1: just think she won't use the words queer to describe
25:33
Speaker 1: herself as it is as a PR truly the least
25:35
Speaker 1: of her problems and my problems with her. Yeah, agreed, agreed,
25:39
Speaker 1: but it is. I'm only pointing it out because it's
25:41
Speaker 1: kind of crazy, like it is actually a thing. Like
25:44
Speaker 1: people will be by for like a year or less,
25:47
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden they get bigger, and
25:49
Speaker 1: then their PR machines and management and like people convince
25:54
Speaker 1: them to go back in almost not go back in
25:56
Speaker 1: the closet, and in a Jesse j kind of way,
25:59
Speaker 1: like being by was a fan is kind of way,
26:01
Speaker 1: but like definitely in a way that feels palpable where
26:03
Speaker 1: they've pivoted specifically to ally. Well, queerness is a marketing tool,
26:08
Speaker 1: and a lot of these who say that female pop
26:11
Speaker 1: stars specifically understand that if they can, you know, find
26:19
Speaker 1: a gay audience who will evangelize them, it will lead
26:22
Speaker 1: to mainstream success. But then once they acquire that mainstream success,
26:28
Speaker 1: it's no longer advantageous for them to be publicly queer,
26:33
Speaker 1: or they maybe become scared of getting canceled, or you know,
26:39
Speaker 1: are worried about having to prove their queerness right, which
26:43
Speaker 1: they shouldn't have to. I think that there's something really
26:46
Speaker 1: rotted about the coming out industrial complex and what it's
26:49
Speaker 1: done to celebrities that are still trapped in the closet,
26:54
Speaker 1: because we know of a lot of A listers that
26:55
Speaker 1: are still trapped in the closet because Hollywood is still
26:57
Speaker 1: like a very bizarrely homophobic industry, homophobic and transphobic industry.
27:03
Speaker 1: But yeah, on the flip side of what you're talking about,
27:07
Speaker 1: not like emerging artists like you know who are making
27:10
Speaker 1: who are then making it big, people who are already
27:13
Speaker 1: big and trying to capitalize life a quernas, whether it's
27:15
Speaker 1: Lizo's Everybody's gay or sorry to name names, you need
27:19
Speaker 1: to calm down. By Taylor Swift, like the moment of
27:22
Speaker 1: alship that was that music video, and I think, but
27:27
Speaker 1: I thought you were convinced Taylor Swift was the white
27:29
Speaker 1: actual woman. No, I don't know if I mean I
27:31
Speaker 1: I think she is deeply, deeply repressed. I think she's
27:36
Speaker 1: a deeply repressed by woman. Yes, I think I think
27:40
Speaker 1: that that is the tea. But I don't really consider
27:43
Speaker 1: her queer. I don't think she's living a queer life.
27:46
Speaker 1: I don't think she has any fluency in queer people.
27:49
Speaker 1: But also a very straight life. But I also feel
27:52
Speaker 1: salty about the fact that, like she only did this
27:54
Speaker 1: whole ally thing, and also I like voiced her opposition
27:59
Speaker 1: to Trump the day but for or day after A
28:01
Speaker 1: Lover came out. And also Jenelle Money came out as
28:06
Speaker 1: queer as pan sexual the day before her album came out,
28:10
Speaker 1: and then she came out as a non binary the
28:12
Speaker 1: day before her memoir dropped, literally the day before. On
28:16
Speaker 1: both accounts, I was like, you should get your coin,
28:20
Speaker 1: you should cash those chips, you should capitalize on queerness
28:24
Speaker 1: to get a hat in the industry. I'm a one
28:26
Speaker 1: hundred percent proponent for that, But why do you gotta
28:29
Speaker 1: do it the day before?
28:31
Speaker 2: Like that's so dick to me.
28:34
Speaker 1: Sorry, I love I like drove four and a half
28:37
Speaker 1: hours to see Jenell Monee open for of Montreal like
28:40
Speaker 1: way back when, Like I'm an og Jenelle mone standstand
28:42
Speaker 1: like tightrope Paris stand. Okay, we're I think we're straying
29:09
Speaker 1: a little far from the discussion of heterosexualney, straying from
29:13
Speaker 1: what everything's heterosexual? Okay, but what what specifically is heterosexual?
29:19
Speaker 1: What do you think? What do you think are some
29:21
Speaker 1: of the straightest things that exist in the world. Okay,
29:24
Speaker 1: Honda Civics. I used to have a Honda Civic in
29:27
Speaker 1: high school. Whoa I had to Honda Civics actually because
29:31
Speaker 1: I crashed one of them. Love heterouality, John Deere, cracker barrel,
29:37
Speaker 1: arguing in public, women not getting off, Yeah, those are
29:44
Speaker 1: something spending something back at a restaurant. No, that's that's
29:48
Speaker 1: just like bitch behavior. I feel like I would do
29:50
Speaker 1: that if I was displeased.
29:52
Speaker 2: Okay, what about you?
29:54
Speaker 1: What do I think Florida straight?
29:59
Speaker 2: The entire state of Florida.
30:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I wouldn't say that. Actually, I would say
30:05
Speaker 1: more so the state of New Jersey.
30:08
Speaker 2: New Jerseys culture.
30:13
Speaker 1: Three ring binders.
30:14
Speaker 2: Three ring binders. That's good, that's good. That's good.
30:17
Speaker 1: Mechanical pencils oh, filling out forms the government.
30:22
Speaker 2: Sure, mechanical pencils. That's funny.
30:27
Speaker 1: My space, Oh, my space. Yeah, that actually is true
30:32
Speaker 1: despite it being such like a emo platform. Yeah, because
30:36
Speaker 1: it's sort of like it's giving an appearance of you know,
30:41
Speaker 1: like counter culture, but actually like is not in any
30:45
Speaker 1: way that that what celebrities are deeply heterosexual culture. Uh.
30:53
Speaker 1: Bruce Springsteen maybe maybe the straightest musical artist, but like
31:00
Speaker 1: two straight people is a diva? Like is a diva
31:04
Speaker 1: for my mom? Who? Right, well, well my mom's not
31:08
Speaker 1: straight kind of for straight people. Yes, I would say
31:12
Speaker 1: almost the entire cast of Friends is heterosexual culture, except Lizakutro. Yeah,
31:17
Speaker 1: I was gonna say exceptly Secudro. I would say, I mean,
31:22
Speaker 1: you've theorized that Kaylee Quoco is the sissist person.
31:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe you said Kaylee Cuoco? Is it? Kaylee Kuoko.
31:32
Speaker 1: Her stands are called Cuoca nuts, Quoca nuts. Yeah, that
31:35
Speaker 1: Quoka nuts and their god kay Lee Quoco. The Big
31:39
Speaker 1: Bang theory the TV show, but also the actual theory
31:43
Speaker 1: I think is very straight. I think I was gonna
31:45
Speaker 1: say Avatar, but you'll find me the atom bomb. No,
31:48
Speaker 1: I was gonna say that well, definitely, the atom Bob
31:50
Speaker 1: is very heterosexual. I don't know. I saw Oppenheimer. I
31:52
Speaker 1: think it's very queer. Phoebe, do you have any things
31:55
Speaker 1: that you think are really straight? War?
31:58
Speaker 2: War is straight.
31:59
Speaker 1: War is straight, but it's also homo erotic. Well being
32:03
Speaker 1: drafted into the thing is so many things that are
32:06
Speaker 1: extremely heterosexual swing so far back that they wind up
32:11
Speaker 1: being incredibly gay. Greece Dave Matthews Band.
32:18
Speaker 2: Good answer. I think I guess Greece the musical is
32:21
Speaker 2: a very good example of that thing. You're talking about.
32:24
Speaker 1: Something that's something that's so heterosexual that swings back to
32:29
Speaker 1: me actually gay, Like Sandy and what's his face?
32:32
Speaker 2: Are in a gay relationship?
32:34
Speaker 1: Yeah? Period, Well, actually I think they're in a tea
32:37
Speaker 1: fort relationship.
32:38
Speaker 2: Shut up, they are, they really are. Oh my god,
32:42
Speaker 2: they really are. Neo classical architecture.
32:46
Speaker 1: What is neoclassical architecture? Can you give me an example
32:50
Speaker 1: of columns? Well, Greece is very gay, though, yeah, but
32:54
Speaker 1: Rome is very straight. Okay, So Phoebe says war is
32:58
Speaker 1: very straight. But all so we're positing that it is
33:01
Speaker 1: in fact very gay, or in fact or at the
33:03
Speaker 1: very least that getting drafted into the war is very gay.
33:08
Speaker 1: And I will say getting drafted into the war was
33:11
Speaker 1: very easily my worst fear growing up as a kid,
33:13
Speaker 1: that what you were going to say was the worst
33:15
Speaker 1: thing that ever happened to me. Yeah, something that I
33:17
Speaker 1: don't something for the visions that you don't know is
33:19
Speaker 1: that I was in the military from age sixteen. I'm
33:23
Speaker 1: just imagining what that would have been like. And it's
33:26
Speaker 1: so funny. It's literally talking about serving your country. You know, well,
33:32
Speaker 1: I would be serving, honey, I was getting serving and
33:36
Speaker 1: servicing for sure. I it's like that Twitter serving impacted you. Yeah,
33:42
Speaker 1: let's ask her.
33:43
Speaker 2: But actually no. But like, I don't know if this
33:45
Speaker 2: is true for you.
33:45
Speaker 1: I feel like for a lot of people, people like
33:47
Speaker 1: and when I found out what the draft was and
33:51
Speaker 1: that people could be drafted, not in our country at
33:53
Speaker 1: the time, but like that people were talking about it
33:55
Speaker 1: when the Iraq war with Iraq war was popping off.
33:58
Speaker 2: What I remember being.
34:02
Speaker 1: Like, oh my god, being drafted into the military is
34:05
Speaker 1: the worst fear, and to the is my worst fear,
34:07
Speaker 1: And to this day, I have sorry, no respect for anybody.
34:12
Speaker 2: In the military.
34:13
Speaker 1: I don't either. I think that it's a disgusting thing
34:15
Speaker 1: to sign up for, and that if you want to
34:17
Speaker 1: be in the military or are in the military, you
34:19
Speaker 1: should reevaluate what goes inside inside.
34:21
Speaker 2: Your brain and what inside your ass or inside your ass.
34:24
Speaker 1: Polo shirts, polo specifically, are an extremely straight article of clothing,
34:29
Speaker 1: and I have made my stance on them clear. I
34:31
Speaker 1: think they're disgusting and I don't respect anyone who wears them.
34:34
Speaker 1: I agree. I think anything that you can wear to
34:36
Speaker 1: Sunday school is heterosexual, and I say polo shirt. I
34:40
Speaker 1: agree with polo shirts full knowing that gaze that closeted
34:43
Speaker 1: gaye wore them all throughout the early the mid auts,
34:47
Speaker 1: you know, like even when gays are wearing them, they
34:50
Speaker 1: were doing it to partake in heterosexual culture and it
34:53
Speaker 1: never became gay.
34:53
Speaker 2: It was heterosexual assimilation.
34:55
Speaker 1: I was going to say, though, about being drafted in
34:57
Speaker 1: the army. I was never scared of it because I
35:00
Speaker 1: I always thought, well, if it happens, I'll just kill myself, right. Well, yeah,
35:03
Speaker 1: but that's my response to every anything potentially let's say,
35:07
Speaker 1: anything potentially bad that could happen to me. I'm just like,
35:10
Speaker 1: I'm like that because I just like cross I was like, fine,
35:12
Speaker 1: I'll just kill myself. Fine, I'll just kill myself. That's
35:15
Speaker 1: like your catchphrase on your sitcom. Fine, I'll just kill myself. Well,
35:20
Speaker 1: my sitcom is sort of like south Park, where like
35:22
Speaker 1: Kenny dies at the end of my episode. I kill
35:24
Speaker 1: myself at the end of every episode, but then it
35:26
Speaker 1: resets at the next one. I am absolutely here for
35:29
Speaker 1: that to com. Let's actually say you and I are
35:33
Speaker 1: drafted into the military and you do not kill yourself.
35:36
Speaker 2: Would never happen.
35:38
Speaker 1: I'll play the game what would happen?
35:41
Speaker 2: What would happen?
35:42
Speaker 1: Then? I think if I would you, I think I
35:45
Speaker 1: think I would work my way up into the ranks
35:47
Speaker 1: until I became a general.
35:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you would want to mistreat people and yell
35:50
Speaker 2: at them.
35:51
Speaker 1: Well, no, I think I would just like if if
35:52
Speaker 1: I had to be there, I would be really good
35:54
Speaker 1: at it.
35:55
Speaker 2: Have to be the boss, I would probably be similar.
35:57
Speaker 2: I would need some sort of.
35:59
Speaker 1: Yeah Chelsea Chelsea banning. Yeah, I would leak information from
36:03
Speaker 1: inside for sure. I would actually probably become really like
36:07
Speaker 1: patriotic pilled and would just like eventually like become a
36:13
Speaker 1: senator in another life, Like if I had been drafted
36:16
Speaker 1: into the military early early on, like when I was
36:19
Speaker 1: in my teens. I'm highly susceptible to cults. I absolutely
36:23
Speaker 1: would have we know, we do know that because I
36:25
Speaker 1: absolutely could have been and sexuality of cult, heterosexuality is
36:29
Speaker 1: a cult that you are inducted to. I think a
36:30
Speaker 1: lot of people don't realize this, that we are like
36:32
Speaker 1: forcibly pushed into heteroism. No, I mean heteros Like that's
36:36
Speaker 1: this is the thing. Like the you know, right wing media,
36:42
Speaker 1: they want to call us groomers, but the biggest groomers
36:46
Speaker 1: in the world are straight people, straight people, churches, the
36:50
Speaker 1: Disney Princess industrial complex, like any representation of like romance
36:55
Speaker 1: in media before like twenty ten, Like it's all hed
37:00
Speaker 1: sexual propaganda, as is the military and the government, and
37:04
Speaker 1: like you know, going stepping outside your door every day,
37:07
Speaker 1: Like what is the gayest place you've ever been to?
37:11
Speaker 2: Not the queerest place the.
37:12
Speaker 3: Gang I know, Oh Disney, I mean Disney's fucking gay,
37:19
Speaker 3: Disneyland or Disney World is which is gay?
37:22
Speaker 1: Disney World is gay, for sure, I mean I did that. Also,
37:28
Speaker 1: New Orleans, New Orleans is very gay, but also is
37:32
Speaker 1: very queer.
37:33
Speaker 2: It is pretty queer. There's a lot of counterculture there.
37:35
Speaker 1: New Orleans is very queer, Berlin is very gay. It's
37:38
Speaker 1: probably too easy to say that Fire Island is maybe
37:41
Speaker 1: one of the gayest places I've ever been to, but
37:43
Speaker 1: I will say that, as I talked about recently on
37:46
Speaker 1: the pod, the Joni Mitchell concert with like ten thousand
37:49
Speaker 1: other like lesbians for the Brandy Carlisle Festival was definitely
37:53
Speaker 1: probably the gayest place I've ever been to. What's the
37:55
Speaker 1: straightest place you've ever been?
37:58
Speaker 2: I was a boy Scout for a while.
38:01
Speaker 1: Isn't that? Isn't that kind of gay? Though it was
38:05
Speaker 1: at the time, I never saw it as homosocial. No,
38:07
Speaker 1: even though I did definitely meet my first boyfriend in
38:10
Speaker 1: boy Scouts, we didn't date until after. But no, there
38:13
Speaker 1: was nothing homosocial about it for me, though I do
38:17
Speaker 1: know that it can be homosocial.
38:18
Speaker 2: For some people. At the time, though, it was just.
38:21
Speaker 1: This this perfect crystallization of everything I hated about being
38:28
Speaker 1: a boy and everything I hated about being straight, all
38:34
Speaker 1: all compressed into weekly meetings and terrible camping trips that
38:37
Speaker 1: I dreaded every single time I would go to and
38:40
Speaker 1: subject myself to the things I despise the most. That
38:43
Speaker 1: are also pillars of heterosexual culture, which are manual labor,
38:48
Speaker 1: being in closed spaces with only boys.
38:51
Speaker 2: And they're all farting and burping, and.
38:54
Speaker 1: Organized group activities are very heterosexual.
38:58
Speaker 2: Yes, like done a certain way.
38:59
Speaker 1: Yes, like on on that in that vein not the
39:04
Speaker 1: place itself. But when I went on Birthright, yeah, that
39:08
Speaker 1: trip was maybe the straightest thing I've ever done because like, yes,
39:12
Speaker 1: I know that Israel is like tel Aviv is very
39:15
Speaker 1: gay blah blah blah, but the Birthright trip itself was
39:19
Speaker 1: very straight, and that the leaders of the trip literally
39:24
Speaker 1: try to pair the people on the trip up because
39:29
Speaker 1: they want to promote more Jewish babies.
39:32
Speaker 2: Right, they want to pair you off their matchmaking.
39:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, way, that is heterosexual culture. Also Hasidic Williamsburg disobedience.
39:46
Speaker 1: That's heterosexuality. Lo like live laugh love, Oh, live laugh love.
39:51
Speaker 2: Is very heterocyc.
39:53
Speaker 1: But it's also been I mean, this is the thing
39:56
Speaker 1: about things that are like, yeah, so heterosexual is that
40:00
Speaker 1: we have now elevated them to camp status. So in
40:03
Speaker 1: that way, we have reclaimed them as gay a little bit.
40:06
Speaker 1: The same thing with cracker Barrel. Honestly, yeah, I think
40:08
Speaker 1: cracker Barrel is very gay. Also, I love Chick fil A.
40:12
Speaker 1: I will fuck up some Chick fil A. Sorry, Like, now,
40:15
Speaker 1: what's the straightest fast food franchise?
40:18
Speaker 2: Burger King? Right, I was gonna say Burger King two.
40:20
Speaker 2: Gotta be Burger King. I mean they're okay.
40:23
Speaker 1: Actually there is also that era of Quiznos commercials. Nose
40:29
Speaker 1: is so straight and Subway is queer.
40:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Phoebe's cracking up.
40:37
Speaker 1: What is the what the fuck is yogurt?
40:39
Speaker 2: Like it was a yogurt franchise?
40:40
Speaker 1: Okay, then then sixty sixteen Handles is gay? Well, then
40:45
Speaker 1: then I would say red Mango is queer, and I
40:47
Speaker 1: would say that nineteen Handles is gay and Coldstone is trans. Go,
40:53
Speaker 1: because there's common the ice cream ice cream is gay,
40:56
Speaker 1: frozen yogurt is straight, frozen yogurt is straight, Gelato is
41:00
Speaker 1: hands Wait, let's do more of this.
41:06
Speaker 2: What Let's okay things that are gay and straight?
41:09
Speaker 1: Okay, So.
41:11
Speaker 2: Katy Perry is straight, Lady Gaga is gay.
41:15
Speaker 1: And the Army is straight. Okay, The Navy is gay
41:27
Speaker 1: for sure, NASA is treys period.
41:34
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, let's keep going.
41:35
Speaker 1: The Sun is straight, he Moon is gay, and Pluto
41:41
Speaker 1: is trans. You think the moon can feel the moon
41:44
Speaker 1: is trans. The moon feels like a woman, feels like
41:47
Speaker 1: a doll. The moon is trans.
41:48
Speaker 2: The moon is a doll. And I feel like, what's gay?
41:52
Speaker 1: Stars?
41:52
Speaker 2: Oh uranus, My god, we're still doing this.
41:58
Speaker 1: Let's keep going. I won't rest until everything has been labeled.
42:22
Speaker 1: I would say that coca cola is.
42:26
Speaker 2: Gay.
42:27
Speaker 1: No, no, Coca cola is straight. Diet coke is gay.
42:31
Speaker 2: Die coca is gay.
42:32
Speaker 1: Coke zero is coke. Zero is trans because it's not pepsi.
42:37
Speaker 1: Pepsi is not trans. Pepsi is like bye maybe, but
42:41
Speaker 1: like you know, hot coffee is straight. Iced coffee is gay.
42:45
Speaker 1: Lattes are trans. Lattes are transfer. Sure have all that
42:49
Speaker 1: extra milk? Yeah, they're there. There, there are a crossing
42:52
Speaker 1: up across. Wait, you are nailing all of these. I
42:59
Speaker 1: have yet, I have no notes. I'm very smart. You
43:03
Speaker 1: are very smart. I am constantly saying that to you.
43:06
Speaker 1: Blood is gay.
43:07
Speaker 2: Blood is because.
43:08
Speaker 1: Aids, because aids, and because red because when red cross
43:13
Speaker 1: was like blood isn't gay, then the gays were like,
43:15
Speaker 1: blood is our thing. Now blood is gay. Blood is gay.
43:19
Speaker 1: Skin is straight. Hair is trans.
43:22
Speaker 2: Hair, hair is trans.
43:23
Speaker 1: I was gonna say organs are trans, but I don't.
43:27
Speaker 1: I think organs are like kind of non gender specific. Okay,
43:31
Speaker 1: Calm is gay, spit is transs mucus is straight? Is
43:42
Speaker 1: well here's what wait this is This is a question
43:44
Speaker 1: for the group. Do straight people say calm? They say,
43:49
Speaker 1: is as we learned on and just like that, Oh
43:51
Speaker 1: my god, they say. They don't say like I'm gonna.
43:54
Speaker 1: But people will say like, I'm gonna calm.
43:56
Speaker 2: Like straight people will say I'm gonna.
44:00
Speaker 1: Or do they know what they say, I'm gonna come,
44:01
Speaker 1: But I don't think they call it come like to
44:04
Speaker 1: them it's an action.
44:05
Speaker 2: Right, it's not. We're the ones that have said this.
44:09
Speaker 2: Fluid is a noun.
44:10
Speaker 1: Nouns are straight nouns, adjectives are gay, verbs are trans.
44:17
Speaker 1: I'm so good at this.
44:18
Speaker 2: I think verbs are Yeah.
44:20
Speaker 1: You could say that one hundred percent because they have
44:22
Speaker 1: so many different forms. Yeah, ad verbs, et cetera. Water
44:28
Speaker 1: is trans, Air is straight, Yeah, fire is gay. Fire
44:36
Speaker 1: is gay. Air is straight. Yeah, because it's like the thing.
44:41
Speaker 2: It's the thing.
44:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the thing that everybody is like orbiting around air. Okay,
44:47
Speaker 1: so they don't call it come, but they they call
44:50
Speaker 1: it semen no, they call it jiz.
44:53
Speaker 2: They call it jees. That's so male.
44:57
Speaker 1: And straight people say, like, do girls say they're gonna like,
45:00
Speaker 1: oh my god, my jis is everywhere? No, right, like
45:04
Speaker 1: straight women don't talk about jis. Yeah, discharge.
45:08
Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, I don't know.
45:10
Speaker 1: I I'm asking this honestly because I often I really
45:14
Speaker 1: have no view into what heterosexual cis, heterosexual sex looks
45:21
Speaker 1: like outside of media. I the the only straight people
45:27
Speaker 1: in my life really are straight women, and they are
45:36
Speaker 1: real people.
45:39
Speaker 2: It's important to include them.
45:41
Speaker 1: No, I mean, straight, straight straight women women are the
45:47
Speaker 1: gaze of straight people, right, and it's it's your role
45:51
Speaker 1: as a straight woman, as a straight heterosexual woman is imporan,
45:55
Speaker 1: and we honor that straight women are queering what it
45:58
Speaker 1: means to be heterosexual. Okay, on that note of straight women,
46:03
Speaker 1: I have to say, and I hope this is a
46:05
Speaker 1: safe space to say, and I hope I can say
46:06
Speaker 1: it without sounding ignorant or like I'm making a blanket statement.
46:10
Speaker 1: But I you're going to do with all of that
46:13
Speaker 1: right now? I feel like when I watch porn with
46:18
Speaker 1: CIS women in it, it's very difficult for me to
46:25
Speaker 1: get turned on because because the straight male gaze is
46:29
Speaker 1: so present. We talked about this a little bit in
46:31
Speaker 1: our porn episode, and and you said very wisely to me, well, gay.
46:36
Speaker 2: Porn is through a male lens.
46:38
Speaker 1: Hello, And I feel like, as I've thought about that,
46:41
Speaker 1: it's like it is about the straight male lens as
46:45
Speaker 1: opposed to the gay male lens. As I was socialized
46:47
Speaker 1: and therefore I'm turned on by.
46:49
Speaker 2: But I also feel like I would love to be
46:51
Speaker 2: proven wrong.
46:51
Speaker 1: And if anybody has some like queer porn that has
46:55
Speaker 1: CIS women in it, I would watch it.
46:59
Speaker 2: Is that an? Is that a crazy?
47:00
Speaker 1: I just feel like a lot of times I don't
47:02
Speaker 1: think it's a crazy, but like watching it a lot
47:03
Speaker 1: of times. And then she's like aw, Like I'm it's
47:06
Speaker 1: just like I want to hear.
47:07
Speaker 2: I don't mind gooning.
47:08
Speaker 1: I love verbal sex, but there's like a kind of
47:11
Speaker 1: version of it that is so prevalent in only only
47:14
Speaker 1: fans content. Can Can you explain to me, I'm I'm
47:18
Speaker 1: being vulnerable by I'm being vulnerable right now. I don't
47:21
Speaker 1: know what gooning is.
47:23
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sorry. Gooning.
47:24
Speaker 1: This is an amazing thing to educate on on the
47:28
Speaker 1: podcast because it's not a very common term. Gooning is
47:32
Speaker 1: when typically poor an actors, but sometimes just people in
47:34
Speaker 1: your sex life are very much so overdoing their sexual
47:40
Speaker 1: noises and reactions to things, either because it turns them
47:43
Speaker 1: on or because it turns you on, or because they
47:45
Speaker 1: don't even realize that they're doing it, or the performance.
47:48
Speaker 1: But it's that performance of oh yeah, it's like I
47:54
Speaker 1: know that, it doesn't feel like that, like I know,
47:56
Speaker 1: but it's but I'm glad you're.
47:58
Speaker 2: Doing it anyways. That's gooning. Thank you, You're welcome.
48:01
Speaker 1: Hetero heterosexuality is goooning. I mean, I don't believe. I
48:06
Speaker 1: don't believe in heterosexuality.
48:08
Speaker 2: I think that is the bottom line.
48:10
Speaker 1: I think it is not like a fundamental truth of
48:14
Speaker 1: the universe. Yeah, it's not, and honestly, neither is queerness.
48:18
Speaker 1: And well, no that's not true. I do believe that.
48:21
Speaker 1: I mean, okay, okay, I agree heterosexuality is not a
48:26
Speaker 1: fundamental rule of the universe, which is how we have
48:28
Speaker 1: treated it an indoctrinated people into it globally. I mean,
48:31
Speaker 1: people think it is because of procreation, but I think
48:37
Speaker 1: that's bullshit. It's obviously bullshit because queer people exist and
48:41
Speaker 1: I think that if we lived in a society where
48:45
Speaker 1: the options presented were not heterosexuality or societal isolation, which
48:52
Speaker 1: are the two options at present, if it was like
48:54
Speaker 1: you get heterosexuality or you can be sexually fluid, or
48:58
Speaker 1: if sexual fluidity was the baseline, and what we were
49:01
Speaker 1: indoctrinated into that, I feel like sexual fluidity is natural
49:07
Speaker 1: order like that to me is how.
49:09
Speaker 2: We were made in God's image.
49:11
Speaker 1: Period period slide into our DMS that Like a Virgin
49:27
Speaker 1: four twenty sixty nine, and let us know what part
49:32
Speaker 1: of the social constructive heterosexuality do you find the most insidious?
49:39
Speaker 1: Are you a heterosexual ally? And if so, why do
49:43
Speaker 1: you listen to this podcast? Inquiring minds want to know
49:48
Speaker 1: you can no judgment.
49:49
Speaker 2: We're just curious.
49:50
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49:54
Speaker 1: us while you're there. And if you want exclusive bonus content,
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Speaker 1: you can become a patron at patreon dot com slash
50:01
Speaker 1: like a Virgin, we do weekly bonus episodes. We've also
50:05
Speaker 1: been doing weekly recaps event just like that, and now
50:08
Speaker 1: that it's ending, we'll be figuring out something new to
50:11
Speaker 1: do in its place, So you don't want to miss that.
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Speaker 1: You can also buy our merch at Like a Virgin
50:16
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50:19
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50:22
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50:25
Speaker 1: Virgin is an iHeartRadio production. Our producer is Phoebe Unter,
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Speaker 1: with support from Lindsay Hoffman and Nikki Etour. Until next week,
50:36
Speaker 1: Don't Say Straight.
50:38
Speaker 2: Don't Say Straight? No, Hey, no straight?
50:42
Speaker 1: All Hey Tues Straight and now just a little clip
50:49
Speaker 1: of our discussion from this next week's Patreon with Laurel
50:53
Speaker 1: Charleston about Lon Rouge. For the full episode, you can
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Speaker 1: become a patron at Patreon dot com slash Laura. Do
51:01
Speaker 1: you want to tell a friend which you told me? Yes?
51:03
Speaker 4: Okay, So, first of all, sat down watched this whole
51:05
Speaker 4: movie with you all, and at the end of the movie,
51:07
Speaker 4: I'm like, what the fuck did I just watch? I
51:09
Speaker 4: go home, I go to sleep, I wake up. I'm like,
51:11
Speaker 4: I don't remember anything from this movie, but I'm like,
51:15
Speaker 4: I was also stone, so let me rewatch it again.
51:17
Speaker 4: And then I'm rewatching it and I'm like, oh, I
51:19
Speaker 4: still have no idea what the fuck's going on in
51:22
Speaker 4: this movie. The editing is so maximalist and yes, wild
51:28
Speaker 4: and crazy. I know you all were saying it's one
51:30
Speaker 4: of like five baz Lureaman movies he's ever made, right
51:33
Speaker 4: or something.
51:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's part of.
51:35
Speaker 1: The trilogy wild. Yeah, it's incredibly frenetic. He I mean,
51:39
Speaker 1: it got even worse in Elvis, where it's like every
51:43
Speaker 1: second is a cut. It's like it's so over edited.
51:49
Speaker 1: In Mulan Rouge, it works. I don't think it worked
51:52
Speaker 1: in Elvis. I think Mulan Bruge is Mulin Rouge. And
51:57
Speaker 1: Romeo and Juliette to me, are like the the films
52:00
Speaker 1: in which his style and his creative impulses just work
52:06
Speaker 1: the best because of the the text that they're applied to.
52:11
Speaker 4: And like the maximalist scenic design and the costume Maing
52:16
Speaker 4: is so costume incredible.
52:18
Speaker 1: That red dress that Nicole wears, oh, that she puts
52:22
Speaker 1: on like early in she literally puts it on for
52:25
Speaker 1: one scene and then immediately changes into a different costume.
52:30
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that the diamond necklace they put on
52:33
Speaker 1: her in that sequence towards the end what like broke
52:36
Speaker 1: some sort of Hollywood record for like most expensive, like costume,
52:39
Speaker 1: jewelry or something at the time, like, well, she is
52:42
Speaker 1: the spark wing diamond, the spark wing Diamond. She's so
52:46
Speaker 1: beautiful in this movie. Uh the mug, I mean red.
52:50
Speaker 1: The makeup's great, the make the hair color. No one
52:54
Speaker 1: has ever been more of a redhead than Nicole Kidman
52:57
Speaker 1: was in Mulan Red with her make with her make
53:00
Speaker 1: up and her hair, she's like so white, she's look
53:02
Speaker 1: she looks blue.
53:03
Speaker 2: She's wearing like ben Ny clowns.
53:05
Speaker 4: No, the makeup is great, even like I love as
53:08
Speaker 4: a makeup artist watching movies and being like, why is
53:10
Speaker 4: she still panted? Literally, she's like sick, like are dying
53:13
Speaker 4: at one point in bed smoky eye, lash on brow
53:16
Speaker 4: on her ripcun blushed, bronze contoured. I mean like, I'm like,
53:21
Speaker 4: this girl's dying and she's starving.
53:22
Speaker 1: Cut. She's dying but I'm living.
53:26
Speaker 2: But she that is live, dyed, served cut.
53:28
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's great. It's so good. Yeah.
53:31
Speaker 4: No, her makeup is honestly fantastic about the whole thing.
53:34
Speaker 4: And she has just like thin, like really long brow and.
53:38
Speaker 2: It just it just really works for her.
53:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's great. It's a very early two
53:43
Speaker 1: thousand's brow.
53:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, no one, it.
53:45
Speaker 1: Looks that's Oh, she's a beautiful face. She's just so gorgeous.
53:49
Speaker 4: Also, she always has her clavical and duck letange out
53:52
Speaker 4: and it's always dyed and gorgeous, and she's so like.
53:55
Speaker 1: Well, she has a cordison, you know, she's got to
53:58
Speaker 1: show off the merchandise. That is something that is like
54:01
Speaker 1: somewhat I guess, kind of radical, like for the time
54:04
Speaker 1: in which this movie was taking place, where it's you know,
54:07
Speaker 1: this epic love story about a hook girl, about a.
54:12
Speaker 4: Little sex worker. Yeah, who's keeping the lights on for
54:15
Speaker 4: this entire theatrical establishment, like you know, been there.
54:20
Speaker 1: She's taking one for the team, for sure. She's taking
54:23
Speaker 1: several for the team.
54:25
Speaker 4: She's taking loads and keeping the lights on.
54:27
Speaker 1: Okay, she's taking loads and keeping the the you know,
54:32
Speaker 1: gas lamps lit.
54:32
Speaker 4: She has to suck off the conad man every week,
54:35
Speaker 4: but they keep it.
54:37
Speaker 1: They and she's dying of consumption, which I guess is
54:41
Speaker 1: like tis yeah, you just kind of you just kind
54:46
Speaker 1: of cough and look very like Wan and faint and
54:51
Speaker 1: then die. You would think that Baz Luhrmann invented the
54:55
Speaker 1: cinematic trope of you cough cough into an napkin and
55:00
Speaker 1: there's a tiny spot of blood, and you're like, oh,
55:02
Speaker 1: this character is going to die, but you still serve
55:05
Speaker 1: kunt until the absolute second of your death. It doesn't,
55:08
Speaker 1: it doesn't, It doesn't deplete your looks at all. But yeah, like,
55:12
Speaker 1: you know, you have to slay until you're dying breath,
55:16
Speaker 1: and she did. She literally walked so President Snow could run.
55:20
Speaker 2: Because you know he would.
55:21
Speaker 4: He was like, and there's like a little bit of blood,
55:24
Speaker 4: a little more cock.
55:27
Speaker 1: Shuck up.