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Advice For Moms · Let's Ask the Mamas!

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  We got a question for American mama. Dear mama, if you could give
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  advice to mama's who have kids in middle school and high school, what would
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  it be. Well, let's ask our American mama, Mama, Mama,
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  and joining us now our American mama, Terry Netterville. So you've got two
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  kids that have already graduated from college. You have another child that's in college
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  now going into his junior year. I cannot believe it, La caboose,
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  It's going fast. And and my kids, my son's about to graduate from
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  college and my daughter is now entering college a year early. Yeah, so
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  that's remarkable to me. That's a thing. We may actually tap on that
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  on a little bit of this. But going back and looking at parents who
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  are heading into middle school, is there some advice or into high school?
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  Because this is the time of year a lot of kids are heading back to
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  school. You're about to see all these first day picture school pictures on your
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  Facebook feed. It's gonna be there, right. What would you tell those
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  moms? It is so ironic that this has come up, because this comes
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  up every year, especially, you know, as our kids have grown out.
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  But I have lunches with friends from time to time, and just recently,
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  I've had different lunches with different groups of friends and it's been so much
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  fun. But we all have children in the age range that mine are,
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  so they're adulting. Most of them are already out of college or at the
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  tail end of college. Some of them have launched, some of them are
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  launching, some of them are about to launch. Yes, okay. And
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  so the conversation just recently, it always goes back to when our kids were
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  in middle school, when they were in high school. And so I'm so
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  curious, and I'll say, if you could give advice, if there was
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  anything that you could say to moms of middle schoolers or moms to high schoolers,
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  if you could go back in time and say it to yourself, what
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  would you say? And at first people are like, what would you say?
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  And I said, well, I would tell myself or other moms going
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  through this phase. I would say, keep your trap shut, keep your
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  trap shut with regard to okay, your kids are gonna have their feelings hurts,
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  okay. So my advice is to help your kids along. But don't
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  you know, don't get on the phone lines, don't try to disparage another
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  child or a mother or you know, don't get into it with them and
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  say, you know, little Johnny, you know, your little Johnny's kind
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  of hurting my son's feelings or this, you know, or little Susie has
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  I don't know if you know this, but she she excluded my daughter,
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  Like, don't do it. Do not get into that trap, because in
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  the scheme of life, it's just a blip on the radar, right,
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  it will not matter. The water will go under the bridge. And when
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  you get to this point, you understand and recognize the kids would have worked
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  it out. See, that's one of the things that I think is uh
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  generationally different that when we were growing up, that would have been a okay,
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  will rub some dirt in it. Oh yes, my parents never got
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  involved. They didn't even know the parents of my friends, right and so
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  and and if your friends, you know, got in, if you guys
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  got into an argument or whatever, that my parents would been like, okay,
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  well go work that out. That's on you. You got to fix
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  that. And a lot of parents now do what you're talking about, where
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  the parents feel like they have to solve the problems. But doesn't that stunt
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  the social growth of your child by preventing them from having the opportunity to solve
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  that problem. Yes, And what it does is it allows them to feel
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  like a victim. You do not want your child to feel that way,
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  right, so you want them to take you know, I would say to
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  summer if somebody you know, and sometimes girls don't mean to hurt feelings or
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  you're excluded. They know they're excluded just because of social media and our day.
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  We didn't know when we were excluded. They might. You know,
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  our friends want to have had their you know, all of our friends over
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  and not us, and we never knew, so we didn't have our feelings
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  hurt. But I would say, you know what, you're gonna be high
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  road Hannah. You're not gonna get don't do not get on that level.
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  Do not make a thing. It is not that big of a deal.
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  Let's go do something ourselves, or you know, whatever the case may be.
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  But a lot of times what I found with friends and they've confided that
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  they get their feelings hurt even more than their child. Like they're so mad
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  they want to throat punch a little girl. They are so mad that they
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  they're like, how could she do this to my she is messing with my
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  child's self esteem and you and so now the me would say to them,
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  you know, while they're going through this, do not let this consume you,
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  because it can and it'll make you treat the little girl different, little
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  boy different. It will make you treat that mom differently. And there's no
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  reason for it. There's I mean, honestly, as we know, they
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  grow up, they figure it out, they go to college, they find
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  their real people. You know, they might have some of the real people
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  in high school, but in college is where they really formulate, like a
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  little family. It's true. And so and then another mom said, you
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  know what, I would say what she said, I would say to myself,
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  okay, never ever say oh my child would never do that. She
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  said, never ever ever say that, because number one, you have people
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  kind of going okay, all right, you know, kind of hoping that
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  it happens so that you can come off that self righteous, you know,
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  ladder looking for a little short yeah. And then when it does happen,
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  it's a slap in the face. Because kids will do the very best kids,
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  we'll get into things or do something they might regret. But that's also
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  part of growing up and learning kids. Yes, and she said it's so
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  funny because I've had friends that came back to me and they were like,
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  Okay, I gotta tell you something. I am so sorry that I said
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  Mike Kid would never do that, because he did. You know, it's
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  just kind of stay in your lane, lead with kindness, allow you know,
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  just communicate with confidence, love, kindness, and don't get into the
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  small stuff and let your children see that because they'll be better off for it.
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  If you like Desk Grown American Mama question, go to our website American
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  ground Rady dot com, slash MoMA and click on the ass the Mama button.
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  Turn out of will thank you so much. Thank you,