Latest / The Difficult Boss Podcast with Fexingo: Managing Up, Toxic Managers, and Workplace Survival / How to Manage a Boss Who Is a Chronic Interrupter
Transcript
- Lucas: Luna, I want to talk about a boss behavior that is maddeningly common but almost never addressed in management guides: the chronic interrupter. Luna: Oh, the person who cuts you off mid-sentence, finishes your thought incorrectly, and then moves on like they just helped you. I feel a little triggered already. Lucas: Right. And it's especially painful when it's your boss, because you can't just say, 'Hey, let me finish.' At least, not without some risk. So today we're going to look at why it happens and three tactical moves that actually work. Luna: Let's start with the 'why.' Is it always a power move, or are some interrupters just anxious or excited? Lucas: Great question. A 2021 study from the University of Colorado looked at interruptions in workplace conversations and found two main drivers. One is dominance—people interrupt to signal status. But the other is actually anxiety: the interrupter is afraid they'll forget their point, so they blurt it out. Luna: That makes sense. I've definitely been in meetings where a boss interrupts because they're nervous about a deadline or a stakeholder reaction. Lucas: Exactly. And here's the interesting stat: the study also found that interrupters are perceived as 43 percent more dominant, but 22 percent less trustworthy. So even if they think they're being efficient, they're eroding trust with the team. Luna: That's a big cost. So what do we do about it? You mentioned three tactics. Lucas: Tactic number one: the verbal handoff. When your boss interrupts, instead of stopping, you complete your thought in one concise sentence, then immediately pass the floor back. Like, 'Sure, and just to finish my point—the Q3 data supports a later launch. What's your thought on timing?' Luna: I like that because it doesn't challenge them directly. It asserts your space while keeping the conversation moving. Lucas: Tactic two: the conversational reset. If the interruption happens repeatedly in a one-on-one, you can say something like, 'I want to make sure I'm being clear on this point before we move on. Can I finish this thought?' It's polite, but it reframes the interruption as a miscommunication rather than a conflict. Luna: That works if the boss has some self-awareness. What about the boss who genuinely doesn't realize they're doing it? Lucas: Then you might try tactic three: the written pre-brief. Before a meeting, send a short email or Slack message outlining your key points. Say, 'I'll be sharing three recommendations on the budget. The first is X, second is Y, third is Z.' That way, your boss knows the structure and may feel less need to interrupt because they already see the roadmap. Luna: That's clever. It's like giving them a spoiler so they can relax and listen. But could it backfire if the boss just reads the pre-brief and says, 'Yeah, got it, let's skip the meeting'? Lucas: Possible. But if your boss is a chronic interrupter, they're probably already treating meetings as a formality. The pre-brief at least ensures your ideas are documented and attributed to you. You can always say, 'I'd love to walk through the nuances briefly—the pre-brief just gives us a head start.' Luna: Fair. I want to talk about one more scenario: the group meeting where your boss interrupts you in front of peers. That feels more loaded. Lucas: It is. In that setting, I'd recommend the verbal handoff tactic, but also pairing it with a visual cue. Make eye contact, hold up a finger gently—like 'one moment'—and finish your sentence. It's assertive without being aggressive. And if it happens repeatedly, you might follow up privately with your boss: 'In yesterday's meeting, I noticed I was interrupted a few times. I want to make sure my updates are landing. Is there a better way to present them?' Luna: That frames it as a shared goal of communication, not an accusation. I like that. Lucas: Exactly. And this connects to a broader principle: managing up is about making your boss look good while preserving your own voice. The interrupters often don't realize the damage they're doing to team morale. A 2019 study in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that teams with interruptive leaders had 17 percent lower psychological safety—people stopped sharing ideas. Luna: That's the real cost. Good ideas don't surface. And the boss never knows what they're missing. Lucas: Right. So if you're dealing with an interrupter, the goal isn't to win a conversational battle. It's to create a pattern where your voice is heard consistently. And that takes practice. Luna: And a little patience. On that note—Lucas, one thing I appreciate about this show is that we never run ads. And I think that's part of why we can go deep on these dynamics without trying to sell you anything. Lucas: Yeah, that's intentional. If you find value in that approach, and you want to help us keep it that way, the link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. No pressure, just an option for listeners who get something out of these conversations. Luna: Exactly. And honestly, hearing that people find these episodes useful is the biggest reward. But if you want to throw a coffee our way, we appreciate it. Lucas: Alright, back to interruptions. One more tactic I want to mention—it's a bit advanced, but it works for some people. It's called the 'pattern interrupt.' You basically pre-empt the interruption by using a non-standard phrase that grabs attention. Like, 'Here's the part I really need you to hear.' It signals a shift in importance. Luna: I've used that. It works because it breaks the rhythm. The boss is so used to your usual cadence that a change in phrasing makes them pause and listen. Lucas: Exactly. And it's low-risk because it's subtle. But honestly, the most effective long-term strategy is to build a reputation for concise, high-value input. If your boss knows that when you speak, it's usually important, they'll be more inclined to let you finish. Luna: So the takeaway: understand the motive, use one of the three tactics, and over time, train your boss to trust your contributions. Lucas: That's it. And remember, you're not being rude by finishing your thought. You're being professional. The interruption is the rude behavior. You're just holding space for your own ideas. Luna: Well said. Until next time, keep your voice in the room.