Latest / The Christian Reeve Podcast / Chris Tondevold | The Christian Reeve Podcast | #65 |

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Chris Tondevold | The Christian Reeve Podcast | #65 | · The Christian Reeve Podcast

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  It's another episode of the Christian we've podcast, but
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  before we get into it, are you subscribed?
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  If not please make sure to subscribe.
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  Like and share the video and spread the word because the
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  Christian read podcast is here to stay.
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  I love doing this and I love all of you that support me.
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  So thank you. And yeah, let's get into this
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  podcast, shall we? Boom.
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  Hello and welcome to another episode of the Christian Reef
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  podcast. Today's guest is Podcast are all
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  the way from Baltimore. Maryland in the USA his name is
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  Kristen devold. Welcome to the show.
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  How you doing? I'm doing all right, man, how
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  are you? I'm very good man.
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  Oh man, I'm in a great mood. I'd yeah, it's this this is the
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  65th episode of the podcast, you know, and it's not all about
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  numbers, but I got to say, like, I didn't think we would get to
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  this, but I didn't think we get past 10:00.
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  Yeah, and I mean, it couldn't be more fitting to have a fellow
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  podcaster on the show. To you know, the talk about this
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  because yeah that's something I've had quite a few different
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  podcasters on the show. I've had a range of different
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  guests and it's always cool. Just finding out when I'm
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  interviewing a podcast of because it's good to find out
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  different peoples approaches like I never realized just how
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  many different styles of podcasts there are and
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  approaches, right? Everything is it's pretty
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  incredible, and yeah, you're the host of the ambition radio.
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  Podcast that I got the correct. That's right.
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  Yeah excellent. So I mean I can kind of I had I
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  always check out yeah cast before I do my when I'm doing my
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  research or talking about and so I have a rough idea but please
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  just let us know. What is the what is this podcast
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  about fundamentally and what kind of topics do?
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  You tend to just sort of cover on the show?
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  Sure. So I searched for people that
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  have found some kind of balance between their life family career
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  and the pursuit of their Passions dreams or Hobbies.
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  So a lot of them are creatives, right?
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  So trying to balance a nine-to-five with trying to
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  pursue what they're doing. Some of them have made it their
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  own business, which is amazing because that usually doesn't
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  happen, right? You're always on a grind
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  somewhere. So that's, that's also been
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  really cool. So, talking to everybody, I
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  struggled a lot with motivation and staying on topic and
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  executing on whatever ideas that I Have so part of it is also for
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  me to kind of like steal any kind of motivational or any kind
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  of tips or tricks that I can use for my own life.
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  That's clever. So, try to try to better myself
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  by, but stealing everybody's else's ideas that have already
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  been done. I mean, that's, that's just
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  human history and I'm not sure yet.
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  Everyone goes. Wow.
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  Like, if you take music as an example, everyone's like, oh my
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  God, that's an amazing song. And then someone who's older is
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  been around a while, but I fucking heard that song in the
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  seventies, we didn't work right right.
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  And I used to, so I used to book concerts locally around where
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  I'm at. So a lot of a lot of the people
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  that I talk to your musicians just because it's like an easy
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  kind of bridge, but they're constantly working on something.
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  So there's been a couple of them that are playing in like four or
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  five bands actively and I just don't have an idea of how you
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  even juggle anything with your life outside of that.
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  You Yukon. Like I've been a musician since
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  I was 11 years old and right. Doing I remember, one point
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  where I was juggling a couple of projects and his, the reality,
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  the situation you can do that. But it doesn't mean that you'll
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  put the amount of effort and time that's required to act like
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  make it worthwhile. Because, and here's the thing, I
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  should make a distinction. If you're a session musician,
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  that's different because Was in theory depending on how Opie you
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  are and how practiced you are. You can potentially do that, you
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  can manage several projects, you know, it will be tough but you
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  can pull it off. But if you're a musician who is
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  writing for bands, and being part of the creative process,
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  you just can't you, I mean, two projects.
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  Maybe. I mean you even the very best
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  musicians, right? Rarely find the time for their
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  side project. Do you know what I mean?
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  It's like and it's like a joke among meet musicians, right?
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  They have to quit their Their main act for the most part just
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  to pursue what they want to do with the, the solo stuff.
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  So it's a very, very difficult to also stretch yourself
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  creatively and different ways to think about yourself and
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  different ways to express yourself.
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  It's cool that you can have all these different Avenues but
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  you're legitimately like breaking yourself in shards at
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  that point and you'll never be whole.
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  So it's it's so true, it's wild. It's definitely Old.
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  So it's been fun, learning a little bit more about
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  everybody's approach to how to juggle all that stuff and to
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  keep motivated despite anything else that's happening with their
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  life. I gotta just add onto that music
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  tangent for a second that, like, the amount of drummers I've met
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  over the years. The say this.
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  Oh yeah, I'm in, like, four different bands.
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  I'm like, okay. Yeah.
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  And you know, God's gonna come visit my house next week.
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  Come on, what always amazes me is that there's so many drummers
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  and I don't understand why, because it's the biggest
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  instrument, the loudest instrument, who let you bang on
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  things in the house. That's what I want to know.
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  Yeah, well, I mean you got electric drums which is still
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  shit but you can remember having an electric drum kit in one time
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  and it kind of works. I mean it pissed off my mom to
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  know him but it you know, it worked, right?
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  I get what you mean, I get what you mean.
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  And I remember all the drummers that I met over the years, there
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  was always some sort of hang up with their parents like oh well
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  you know they only let me drive it these times and right?
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  Yeah. Like have to do X, Y and Z.
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  Then there was always something. It was never just like I have my
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  own place and that's it, you know?
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  Yep yep. Clearly you need like those
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  super liberal drug smoking parents.
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  That are like like it's a party go.
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  Right? Everyone.
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  It's 3 a.m. great. Yeah, let's start.
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  I don't know, maybe I'm being a bit harsh.
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  But yeah, I mean you want your parents to Support you and your
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  artistic in the Endeavors, right?
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  You want that to happen, but as a parent, I know that if you're
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  hitting some China symbols at any time in the morning, it's
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  over, you're going to be kicked out.
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  Like you're gonna go do that in the woods.
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  I don't care anymore. So you say you're a father then,
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  is that? Is that right?
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  Oh no, no. But if I did have kids I would
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  also abandoned them in the woods.
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  So whatever I gotta say, I would be a very liberal parent just
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  because of how how my childhood was.
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  But at the same time, there are certain things you want to like,
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  steal them away from your mistakes as much as possible.
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  I think like, if you're a parent, I mean, it's difficult
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  obviously, because we're not parents, it's right at the same
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  time. I think it's fair.
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  Like if you do anything to restrict your kids, then 9 times
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  out of 10, they're going to rebel against that like you know
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  because my mom was so liberal with me.
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  I mean that's not to say that I didn't fuck around and do shit
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  that shouldn't right, right. But I was a pretty good kid
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  because, you know, she never restricted me and I always felt
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  super bad when I lied to her. So I made sure to not do that as
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  much as I possibly could. Yep.
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  And that that kind of rebellious phase if you like didn't last
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  very long, And for the most part, I was very good kid and I
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  think that's, that's part of it. It's not like saying, like, hey
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  yeah, great go out and do drugs. Go out late night, but if you
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  kind of say, okay, I'm trusting you.
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  That's a good example of you know, building proper trust and
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  then if they break that trust you show them the consequences
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  of breaking that trust. And you know I mean it certainly
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  is a better model versus okay. You can't go ever go out and do
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  anything. You're totally restricted.
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  Yeah, Bubba black. I remember my mom telling me
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  about her childhood and how Like when she was much younger, I
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  think she was like early 1112, something like that.
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  She would say like oh you know, I wouldn't want to go out my
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  friends, go swimming or go play. I don't know whatever.
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  And apparently my man, God bless you would say things like no no
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  no, should she just say no? No you can't do that.
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  And my mum would just basically. My mom told me that she
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  essentially got bullied for that like as really?
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  Yeah. Well, because the other kids
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  would be like, haha, you can't go out.
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  Huh? Like it?
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  And because kids are like that. Everyone, every kid is an
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  asshole, we all know that, but it's like Jimmy.
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  It's and that's the reality. That's what happens.
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  You restrict your kids. They're going to get bullied the
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  shit out of right? Don't restrict them.
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  Okay, it's a risk. You worry.
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  But look we've all been kids at some point and we know how how
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  it works. Yeah we're not dead, right?
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  I'll be fine. Go experience life, it'll be all
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  right. I do.
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  I do always think about like if any parent is super super
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  liberal like do their kids turn into like a hard right?
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  Christian because I want to I want to see that that Rebellion
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  period of them just being super Pious and going against all the
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  hippies. Oh you mean they go?
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  So liberal that this become conservative in the like so if
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  the parents are letting them do whatever and supporting them
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  with everything in there. So, Do the kids in rebellion, in
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  an act of rebellion justo partition, right?
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  Like you've subjected me to all this hellishness.
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  I need God the same. Yeah, yeah.
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  Your kids 5 and then just talking about how all this is
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  Sodom and Gomorrah. And you're like, how did you
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  even know about this 45? You don't know what those words
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  are. Well, that's fucked.
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  Yeah, that's fucked. I love these times as well.
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  Okay, let's bring it back to your phone.
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  So what are your goals and aspirations for your podcast?
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  The the main goal for me is to always just connect with people
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  and have good conversations that's the main goal so I don't
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  have lofty aspirations as far as numbers success or anything like
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  that. This is at the very base level a
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  record for me personally for these connections that I'm
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  developing right and the The other part about that for me is
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  that if I can get traction audience was I want to bring
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  everybody up around me. So one of the main goals for me
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  is to actually do a better spot, light of all the businesses that
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  are around here, all the different artists that are
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  happening. And so, with, with my ability to
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  try to talk to anybody from any kind of different Walk of Life
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  and being able to let everybody else know that there's much more
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  Happening Here than, like, crabs.
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  And that's it, like, crabs and old days is the thing that
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  Maryland is known for, and it's, there's a lot more in here.
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  So that's the other part of it. For me is trying to shine a
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  spotlight on those that don't, maybe have that, that actual
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  exposure piece. What about more specifically for
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  2021 Javanese? Sort of particular goals are
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  marked So my my goal for 2020. One was to release weekly
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  episodes and that didn't happen so far.
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  So we're gonna go, we're gonna we're gonna start that again
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  this week. Well, spend the struggle.
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  There was legitimately just balancing work and life and then
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  the the podcast by itself. So I do all my own editing and
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  all that good stuff. So it sucks and it's the least
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  part or the least favorite part for me.
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  I've learned a lot which is Rate.
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  So that's definitely a skill that I've developed, but at the
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  same time it's so much work here in your own dumb voice over and
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  over and over again. And I just don't want to do it.
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  So I have to have to like shut off from the whole world and try
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  to focus on it as much as possible.
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  You know, I find interesting, right?
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  This is just me personally is I can listen to my own voice in
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  the context of editing and stuff and here in stuff back just to
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  make sure it's fine. But as soon as like, I don't
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  know. Like for example, I have a
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  housemate. Right?
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  Who doesn't speak? Good English.
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  He's from abroad. He's he's the guy is crazy, man.
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  He's come over from Brazil and he doesn't speak a word of
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  English and he's just throwing himself into it.
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  And I'm a fair play like, that's amazing.
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  Yeah, I mean he's really busting his ass.
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  I could do a fucking podcast about Anyway, he's big music
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  fan, right? That's all yeah, we get.
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  We go on like a house on fire and one day I walk into the
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  kitchen or dining room area and I see him watching videos of
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  mine and I don't know why I ever since I was a kid, like, first
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  playing with videos, I get really shy when people were
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  watching stuff. Yeah, I know, I can't stand.
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  It's for something, it's something.
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  About the audience of that situation.
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  And I know not a lot are turn that shit off.
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  Let's that's right. Listen to something good.
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  Like, you know, right, I hate hearing myself in around, other
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  people. Yeah, fine.
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  If it's just me sitting there editing or whatever because you
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  have to do it, but like, yeah, it's you being in the audience
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  of your own show and cringing at every Everything.
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  Yes, the whole thing. Yeah, I don't know why I hate it
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  so much like it's it's embarrassing.
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  And people always away. His reaction is none of those
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  good and I'm like no it's not and it off.
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  Yeah yeah that that feel is very much real.
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  It also so for me it also kind of hinders the whole production
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  process to sometimes wear. Nothing that I'm doing is making
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  this sound good. Nothing that I'm doing, is
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  making this more meaningful and I you just get kind of into a
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  rut a little bit with that because you're just like, what
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  am I missing? I've done this 50 thousand times
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  as far as the editing process. I know how to dial in the sound
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  but for whatever reason, it's just not clicking.
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  And then that, that is definitely like when you're
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  playing that back. That's one of the other things
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  that mess with your mind. But I cannot Imagine.
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  Well, I can't imagine so the the intro episode of the show.
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  I just threw that out there and I didn't even edit anything
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  really for it. Just wanted to do that.
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  So my friends decided to play that for me.
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  Oh no at their house with a group of people and counted
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  every single um, in that whole five-minute intro along with me,
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  please tell me they turned it into a drinking game.
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  Mmmmm. Yeah.
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  Yeah. There was 47 of them, so they
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  stopped after a little bit. Yeah, yeah.
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  That was very, very embarrassing because it's just like, okay,
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  that's me. Yes, because everyone fucking
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  poses and stuff. I mean, you can't just speak
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  like did it a dragon. Like, you know, people tell me
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  that I'm good at cold in a conversation.
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  You know what I do? I have fucking research and
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  That's why there's no because I know that that would a suck and
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  be, you know, you have to have some sort of flow but these are
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  the things that you learn from doing this.
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  Yeah, it's not. I also I also learned
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  post-production and take a look take all those out.
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  Yeah. That but that to your point, you
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  know, if you're more prepared and you're more concise and you
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  know how to flow with the conversation, you can keep it
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  going without all these crazy pauses and even With that.
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  You can actually just pause instead of saying those filler
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  words sometimes. So and that makes it a little
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  bit easier to it. So, it's all just part of the
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  journey in the program that process.
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  I mean, like you said, like it there's the cringe at the first
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  episode. I'm sure if I look back at my
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  original episodes. Yeah, I mean, I still stand by
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  all of them but like at the same time, I noticed that there's
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  been a degree of change over time because it's just it's
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  natural, you know. You have find a flow, you find a
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  rhythm you go. Okay, this is how we do it.
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  This is what feels comfortable, or whatever the case may be.
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  Yeah, it's all fine tuning and polishing, right?
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  So and you just learn, you learn with experience.
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  And I think the main thing with that, especially if it's an
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  energy piece, you were just learning how to connect in
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  different ways and also active listening.
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  Like that, that is such a big thing to where you can even
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  repeat what they say. You can write notes whatever you
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  want to do. Do, but if you're actively
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  listening and then being able to pinpoint where you want the
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  conversation to go, that that is a skill that you have to
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  develop. Yeah, I never knew that this was
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  a thing. Like, okay, people think it's
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  really easy podcast in buckets and I think I might set this on
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  the podcast before one tire. I do this, sometimes I repeat
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  myself but right so I try not to but since we're talking about
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  podcasting, go figure right there.
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  Yeah. There's this active listening
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  thing. Yeah, you're spot-on with this.
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  Is a skill. I think I learned in the first
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  couple of episodes because there was this thing where you know,
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  you have your research or what your questions you can ask,
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  right? And you think, oh yeah, it will
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  go in this order and perfect. No problem.
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  And then they mention something which is like what three
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  quarters of the way down and you're like, well, I could
• 18:37
  Circle back to this, but if we do, like, say 20 minutes on this
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  thing and then I randomly go. Oh yeah, I remember you were
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  talking about this thing. Like, five hours ago, let's talk
• 18:45
  about you can't, you got to kind of switch up and, and jump and
• 18:49
  learn to jump around and almost like, I guess, like, mold around
• 18:56
  your guests, if that's the right word or yeah.
• 18:58
  Yeah, no adapt adapt. That's the word I'm looking for
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  not mold or the fucking myself, that, that it's the same kind of
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  thing, right? So you want to be able to adapt
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  on the Fly and kind of keep it going, but, you know, to your
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  other analogy, if you are down a certain path as a tangent or
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  anything like that, you want to keep that going because that's
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  where a lot of Good stuff comes from, right.
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  So you want to mold the conversation around that for
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  sure. And then hopefully go through
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  whatever other actual questions that you have.
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  Now for me, I usually don't do a whole lot of research
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  beforehand. Oh, so this is this is an
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  interesting aspect of it and I think it so I've developed this
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  conversational skill through my sales job for the most part.
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  That's okay. So yeah, so you can you can kind
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  of you can kind of see that where I can connect with random
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  people all the time and and start talking and basically put
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  on a show, right? Because it's it's almost like a
• 20:03
  different personality between being on a mic or being in front
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  of a customer and falling into yourself and enjoying what you
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  actually like, which is not talking to anybody.
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  So is so true. So yeah, with With all of that.
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  It's it's interesting to me always and I've seen where it
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  can definitely benefit me. And it can actually be my
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  detriment where, if I researched too much, then I overthink too
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  much, I don't let the the flow of the conversation.
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  Go sometimes, though, one of the conversations, I had recently
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  that that'll come out and probably a couple months or a
• 20:44
  month or so whatever I found myself during the Conversation
• 20:50
  not knowing where to go until until we started going into more
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  of the the passion and the motivation part of it.
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  So with that like I could have definitely researched more and
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  ask better questions for that instead of just getting like a
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  broad history of it. So it was it was definitely a
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  learning experience for me. And I knew like during the
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  conversation that I'm going to have to chop some of the stuff
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  up. And get in a better flow which
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  some people think about most audience members, don't they
• 21:26
  just hear the final product and don't know any of the, the
• 21:30
  actual work that was put into it?
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  So, I like the free form a lot and I try to like keep it as
• 21:37
  casual as possible and I'm always thinking of another
• 21:39
  question in my head but it is always interesting to me to hear
• 21:44
  about the, the other side of that.
• 21:45
  Where you are fully preparing all the way through.
• 21:48
  That's the thing. I mean, For me, personally, I do
• 21:50
  a mixture. So a lot of the questions, even
• 21:53
  some of the questions I've asked you already.
• 21:54
  It's ad-lib, it's based on, you know, he's like a rough idea.
• 21:59
  So that at no point am I lost and go?
• 22:01
  What do I do right there? This is to protect from that and
• 22:04
  also to have an idea. Okay.
• 22:06
  Who is the person I'm talking to?
• 22:07
  I'm going to learn more but what's a basic outline of this
• 22:10
  person? Yeah.
• 22:11
  And then, as you say the freeform, I mean ideally you
• 22:14
  want a big conversation to go to get going, and I found that
• 22:19
  About the course of doing this podcast, there's been times when
• 22:22
  I don't even ask certain questions, you know, I maybe
• 22:25
  maybe that'll be for return episode, maybe not, whatever.
• 22:28
  Right. But it's more about asking the
• 22:30
  questions that matter most, and the trigger things get that a
• 22:36
  certain line of thinking, or as you say, like a certain tangent
• 22:39
  to open up. And obviously, yeah, if you're
• 22:41
  talking about things that are passionate to either yourself or
• 22:43
  your guest, sky's the limit on weather station can go.
• 22:46
  So yeah, totally agree with you on that one.
• 22:51
  Yeah, bring the bad pod cut while we never stop talking
• 22:53
  about from custody. That's my usual thing that I
• 22:56
  say, is it like to bring it? Yeah, yeah.
• 22:59
  Black or whatever. And I'm like, dude, you're not
• 23:01
  paying attention. Wake up wake up.
• 23:03
  Well, I got a question for you. If that's all right.
• 23:06
  Yeah. Could you ever do you ever think
• 23:08
  about after your conversation is done?
• 23:10
  Your episode is done recorded. I could have asked a b and c
• 23:15
  maybe I should reach out again to maybe get those answers.
• 23:20
  No, the only thing I've ever encountered is we could do more.
• 23:26
  Yeah, I've had guests who've said, like there's been certain
• 23:29
  guests, I've had where it's like, this is, there's chemistry
• 23:32
  here and it's not to say that. Because the thing that I pride
• 23:35
  myself on most is, can I get my guests to feel comfortable?
• 23:40
  Because if I can, who knows? And I've had guests that really
• 23:44
  chatty. I've had guests that a bit more
• 23:46
  introverted and I'm really proud when I get them.
• 23:49
  Introverted ones to feel a bit more comfortable like that to me
• 23:51
  is like a real challenge every single time.
• 23:55
  And yeah when they're get stuck a long discussion or you know I
• 24:02
  have to kind of because yeah you do have to kind of limit your
• 24:05
  guests tangents to some extent because you can't go too far off
• 24:08
  the Beaten Track. You got to kind of keep it
• 24:11
  steered to some extent but then I just think in my head, okay,
• 24:13
  we can do more with this and I've got some people penciled in
• 24:17
  for the future like, you know, There's this one guy that I had,
• 24:20
  that said there's a business guy is like a CEO and he is straight
• 24:25
  after the podcast. He was like, yeah, let's do
• 24:27
  round two. And I'm like, yes, but when I
• 24:30
  give it some time, and I want to think about and I'm still
• 24:32
  thinking about I'm like, what can we do, what can we do?
• 24:34
  And then I'll when I've scoped it out, something an idea, then
• 24:38
  I'm going to hit him up with with round two.
• 24:41
  So that's probably as close as it gets for me.
• 24:45
  Yeah, luck. I'm luckily I don't have that.
• 24:47
  I think that I always Try to focus on the vibe and what's
• 24:51
  going down and think about like, well, what do I really want to
• 24:54
  know? What would the audience, really,
• 24:56
  where know and I try to look at it like that, like, that's why I
• 25:00
  like it's good to have a script, but I don't stick to it, like so
• 25:03
  rigidly that it's like the Bible or something.
• 25:05
  I try to kind of think, like, you know, this is a guide but
• 25:08
  what matters most is, what can I get out of the guest for sure.
• 25:12
  Yeah, so yeah, but what do you like about podcasting?
• 25:17
  But why are you doing this? Definitely the conversations, I
• 25:22
  mean, that the conversations and the connections.
• 25:24
  That's the what I like the most. So when I started listening to
• 25:28
  podcast the, the first thing that I really gravitated towards
• 25:33
  was a Pete, Holmes, you made it weird podcast and it is an
• 25:39
  incredibly long form, conversational interview
• 25:42
  podcast, I can go on for like three or four hours and I was
• 25:44
  like, I can probably do that, but I'm not going to do it that
• 25:47
  much. It was really just like me
• 25:51
  listening to a whole bunch of interview shows and being like
• 25:54
  okay I'm not booking gigs actively anymore.
• 25:58
  I stop doing that. How else can I kind of give back
• 26:02
  at all and do something for me, too, that gives me a little bit
• 26:06
  of a creative outlet. And so I kicked around this idea
• 26:10
  for probably like three or four years before I actually did it
• 26:13
  and then I recorded stuff and about six to nine months later.
• 26:20
  Actually released it. So it's doing it over and over
• 26:25
  and doing it. For those connections is has
• 26:27
  been really cool and that's the main thing that keeps me going
• 26:30
  for sure let's talk a little bit about the some of the guests
• 26:33
  that you've had on the show. Like obviously you mentioned
• 26:35
  you've had musicians predominantly and stuff but like
• 26:38
  are there any particular guests that stand out and you know was
• 26:42
  it because of who they are or maybe some of the things that
• 26:45
  you touched on maybe some thought-provoking stuff.
• 26:49
  Or deep stuff like yeah. Talk to us about some of the
• 26:52
  best moments on your podcast so far.
• 26:54
  So one that always comes to mind is a musician named Justin miles
• 27:01
  and he does tap as well as music and that time decision.
• 27:07
  Tap dancing. Yeah, so cool.
• 27:09
  We talked about how his time with Stomp.
• 27:13
  The I don't know if you remember the old school music, plays
• 27:18
  where? They would use rakes, brooms,
• 27:22
  big gallon drums to make all the music.
• 27:25
  So he did some of that. And then he tap-danced for this
• 27:30
  group called Tap Dogs and they played their from Australia, but
• 27:35
  they played all around the world and I saw him in, d.c. at the
• 27:39
  Kennedy Center, just blew me away.
• 27:41
  The whole production, everything in there, and I always think
• 27:44
  about tap dancing as like a very old school stuffy thing, but
• 27:49
  They made it amazing. So what are the things that he
• 27:52
  was doing to was, was Disney Cruises.
• 27:56
  So he would play on the Disney Cruises as an actor, and I think
• 28:05
  he didn't play Aladdin, but he played one of those close close
• 28:08
  to the the top stars in there, but he was talking about how you
• 28:11
  do it every night night after night after night, and you're
• 28:14
  trapped on that boat, like you have to, that's that's the The
• 28:19
  whole experience. Like it's it's such a like a
• 28:21
  harrowing experience in my mind because you're doing the same
• 28:24
  thing over and over again. And you can't break free from
• 28:27
  it. And that like, if you don't, if
• 28:30
  you don't actually like enjoy what you're doing, its such a
• 28:34
  grind. So you see like the life being
• 28:36
  taken out of them a little bit, it he was saying it was good
• 28:40
  money and all that stuff so that that blew me away as far as just
• 28:43
  that thought of it because I don't think anybody ever thinks
• 28:46
  about those cruises those Entertainer cruises, you know.
• 28:49
  That's such a. Grind in there to go through
• 28:55
  night after night and be perfect.
• 28:57
  You have to be perfect every single night, because it's a
• 28:59
  either, a new audience, or a repeat audience, where they've
• 29:02
  seen it before. And now, they want to expect
• 29:04
  that greatness every time. So that that stuck with me, for
• 29:10
  sure, one of the other things that always stuck out to me is
• 29:15
  when I interviewed Malcolm and Marie Andrews, they have a
• 29:19
  foundation called pan, Which is parents against Nick.
• 29:22
  Daycare and they lost their two year old son by drowning in a
• 29:29
  pool in there. What does a caretaker or
• 29:35
  daycare? That's what I was looking for,
• 29:37
  at their daycare. So not their day care, but the
• 29:41
  people that they put in charge, right?
• 29:43
  So now they're trying to go through everything so that would
• 29:48
  that was just a very like emotional Deep thing in there.
• 29:51
  So I think for me like being able to explore all the
• 29:56
  different pieces of that from either just like what you may or
• 30:00
  may not think about entertainers to even something.
• 30:03
  Like that where their whole mission is to make sure that
• 30:06
  these standards are everywhere for every day care Across the
• 30:10
  Nation. So that that to me is definitely
• 30:13
  like the coup de gras for it. As far as that goes it's one of
• 30:19
  us. You like one question about that
• 30:21
  situation? Like did that carer?
• 30:27
  Did they get like prison time for that?
• 30:28
  Or like what was the case there? The outcome.
• 30:32
  Yeah, I don't necessarily remember, but I know that they
• 30:34
  sued on a civil side of it for sure.
• 30:39
  I I think that there were some legal punishments to it, but
• 30:44
  this was a couple years ago. So I unfortunately forgot about
• 30:47
  it. What, what they've done so far
• 30:52
  though is is taken that because it's the liability access of it
• 30:57
  and making sure that everybody it who is in charge, is Hook for
• 31:01
  stuff like that. A lot of them has to go through
• 31:06
  like the different licenses and whether you're in DC versus
• 31:11
  Maryland where they were in DC. So there's a couple different
• 31:14
  things legally with it. That was all gray and murky and
• 31:18
  I'm not entirely sure what the full outcome of it was for that
• 31:21
  care but they've just taken it and tried to actually Lobby for
• 31:27
  more stricter laws for this and more coal.
• 31:31
  E in liability for the actual providers for it.
• 31:35
  Damn, it's just such a such a crazy thing to think about, like
• 31:39
  it's one thing if like and because, I mean, in fact, is it
• 31:42
  could just be a genuine accident but like just thinking about
• 31:46
  that, you pay these people to look after your kids.
• 31:49
  And then you know, your kid dies in their care and it's like
• 31:57
  damn, like Yeah. Sorry to bring it down.
• 32:02
  But no no dude. Dude like you can't bring me
• 32:07
  down honest I do I do volunteering at this place.
• 32:13
  Like every Monday dealing with like the homeless and destitute
• 32:16
  and said okay I see some some really like heavy shit.
• 32:21
  Yeah that would do. I actually this week I saw
• 32:24
  something. I even went and I went and made
• 32:28
  a video about it and then I deleted it and I was I'm still
• 32:31
  unsure if I'm going to talk about it or not like it's it
• 32:35
  just kind of, you know, likes every now and again you see
• 32:38
  something in life and It just like sticks with you.
• 32:43
  Yeah, it's like the worst side of humanity in the things that
• 32:46
  we tend not to think about that. It kind of just for the whole
• 32:50
  day. I just I just couldn't shake it.
• 32:52
  I just really Reinforce why I do volunteering and I was like,
• 32:58
  well at least we were able to do something for this person.
• 33:00
  Right. Right.
• 33:01
  But at the same time it was kind of like fuck man.
• 33:04
  Like this sort of sort of stuff. Shouldn't be happening, you
• 33:08
  know? Yeah, yeah.
• 33:12
  Life like that. It's like that dog.
• 33:15
  That dog meme where it, he has like these white eyes, and he's
• 33:20
  just so fucking shocked. So he looks like he's just gone
• 33:23
  through the roof. Oh yeah.
• 33:25
  You know what I'm talking about? Yes t mean thing.
• 33:27
  Yeah. Yeah so that I mean that like
• 33:31
  that dog just reflects so much of just the the face of
• 33:36
  everybody that's legitimately like, seen some shit in there
• 33:39
  and just like that experience in there because it's you don't
• 33:43
  really shake it completely. I don't think it's always part
• 33:47
  in the back of your mind and it can creep up in there, for sure.
• 33:51
  So it's tough and it's It's whether or not you like use that
• 33:56
  for inspiration to do something, right?
• 33:59
  So kind of like, what you're talking about with the
• 34:01
  volunteering stuff, or do you just say, man?
• 34:04
  The world fucking sucks, doesn't it?
• 34:07
  And just keep going. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing
• 34:12
  I'm learning about life because it's like, You know, when you're
• 34:17
  a kid, you already protected from from life, you know, your
• 34:20
  parents, it's not what I've been lied to you.
• 34:22
  But you slowly find out as you grow up like okay.
• 34:27
  Maybe it's not as great as what it looks like in the cartoons
• 34:32
  and then you know then you start doing history class then you
• 34:34
  start doing this and and you know unfortunately yeah for some
• 34:37
  of us that trauma I don't think any human being doesn't
• 34:41
  experienced some sort of trauma in their life.
• 34:44
  I think everyone does but the Stents to which they experience
• 34:47
  it. And in the way, what age all of
• 34:50
  these different things, varies. You know, I feel like I've been
• 34:53
  very lucky in my life, but there are some things that have
• 34:55
  happened where I look back on it now and I'm like, that's pretty
• 35:00
  fucked up. Yeah, I know.
• 35:01
  But that's, yeah. And I wonder like maybe there's
• 35:06
  something wrong with me. Like, I don't, I don't react to
• 35:10
  it. But then, it depends because we
• 35:14
  all deal with things in different ways.
• 35:16
  Like, right, I think for me, maybe there is a mo K is that,
• 35:20
  you know, I, I kind of go through the motions, I feel
• 35:23
  emotions like, you know, if I feel sad, I feel sad, I don't
• 35:27
  try and hide it if I'm happy. Fuck.
• 35:29
  Yeah, I'm happy. You know, I remember like I
• 35:31
  remember one time I've told this story before, but I remember
• 35:34
  sitting there with my dad and one of my younger brothers, I
• 35:37
  think it was like five at the time.
• 35:39
  He was just having like a bit of a tantrum he was stressed out.
• 35:44
  I was upset and I sort of turned to my dad and I was like, why
• 35:46
  didn't you say something? Why don't you, you know, try and
• 35:49
  discipline him and he's like, notice I'm going to let him
• 35:53
  experience that it's important that he feels that and then he
• 35:58
  just didn't say anything else. And I kind of sort of realized
• 36:02
  what he meant. It was like, you can't always go
• 36:06
  through life, like, trying to suppress everything you need to
• 36:09
  know, like, okay. This is how I feel when I feel
• 36:12
  sad. Or depressed.
• 36:13
  This is how I feel when I feel happy.
• 36:15
  You need to know the distinction so that you can kind of learn
• 36:20
  how to deal with each, you know, like for example, you know, when
• 36:22
  I'm depressed, I tend to kind of do the obvious things, like,
• 36:28
  each our color, what something funny, and I listen to some good
• 36:31
  music, but there's other things as well, like exercise with the
• 36:35
  endorphins and stuff. Or, you know, sometimes, one of
• 36:38
  the things I do is I work extra hard, which is there a bit
• 36:40
  dangerous? Because a little bit Workaholic.
• 36:43
  But it does kind of help it weirdly like that sense of
• 36:47
  purpose and organization and goals is so much healthier than
• 36:51
  saying, you know what? I'm going to sit here, get
• 36:52
  trashed, and fuck it. It's like that's great for like
• 36:56
  a day or two. And then before long you've got
• 36:59
  a bit of a problem on your hands you know.
• 37:01
  Yeah. Pouring yourself into work.
• 37:05
  Has helped definitely for me personally, for sure because it
• 37:11
  makes you focus. Is on something that's not
• 37:15
  bringing you down. And if you can really invest in
• 37:20
  what you're doing, then all those kind of thoughts of what
• 37:27
  else happened isn't quite there. So they might, they're just kind
• 37:31
  of at Bay for the most part because then, it can definitely
• 37:34
  creeped up, right? Right, when you're done with
• 37:37
  work, but if you never stop working, it's fine, right?
• 37:39
  So that's, that's how that works.
• 37:42
  So, it's like, I think the best way to explain it for people
• 37:44
  that don't quite understand. It's like, it's like heartbreak
• 37:47
  you like, if you love someone, you never truly get over them,
• 37:52
  you just learn to live without them.
• 37:54
  Same with death. When someone there who young and
• 37:57
  you're like, fuck, you know, it's like I have friends that
• 38:02
  have committed suicide over the years if I think about them.
• 38:06
  I get sad, I think fuck man. They should be here like this
• 38:10
  sucks when I think about people, I had relationships with in the
• 38:14
  past and I'm like, yeah, man, that sucked.
• 38:16
  It didn't work out. And, you know, and then the
• 38:18
  weird thing about about your mind is that, you know, like
• 38:21
  well, you know, we weren't right for each other.
• 38:23
  These are all the reasons why like, blah blah blah, like you
• 38:26
  can you can sit there and be logical about it but there's a
• 38:30
  difference between what the brain is saying and what the
• 38:32
  heart is saying the hearts. Like, yeah, but what about the
• 38:34
  good times and how Foul and this and that and it's like you got
• 38:39
  to try and have the right mix of the tube I think.
• 38:41
  Yeah the best way is like Genoa. If I if I reminisce and I feel,
• 38:47
  this is how I feel. I'll Embrace that sadness, you
• 38:50
  know, and I'll brace their happiness and I think it's all
• 38:53
  about embracing you know, people like I think and it's a
• 38:56
  generational thing. I think we're finally getting to
• 38:57
  a point now where it's okay to be sad.
• 39:01
  It's okay to be angry whatever like you can express that
• 39:04
  whereas like I'm in Berlin. I was growing up, like, no one
• 39:07
  ever came out. Exactly and said, you know, you
• 39:10
  can't do this but like I there was that match overall share and
• 39:13
  like yeah, crying is weak and men, don't do that room.
• 39:18
  There's always like you know showing that you're sad is a
• 39:21
  weakness which is bullshit. Like if anything I think it's if
• 39:25
  you can't show your emotions that's a weakness.
• 39:27
  Especially if you're trying to be in a relationship as well,
• 39:30
  like the other person needs you to be empathetic needs to you to
• 39:35
  be able to A show that you understand them.
• 39:38
  And if you don't, even if you can't even like understand
• 39:40
  yourself and and, you know, embrace your own emotions, how
• 39:43
  the hell you going to embrace their emotions?
• 39:46
  This is very, very true. It's something that I've dealt
• 39:48
  with, for, quite a long time because it's I always try to
• 39:54
  hide stuff, because that's, that's what I don't want out in
• 39:58
  the world, right? But it's, it's always a dual
• 40:00
  edged sword, where you want to make sure that whoever you're
• 40:03
  around, they know that you care about them and vice versa,
• 40:07
  right? But if you aren't a very outward
• 40:12
  person or forthcoming person with that, it's tough to
• 40:16
  continue to build those relationships and continue to
• 40:19
  have connections that actually grow and Bloom into Something.
• 40:24
  So being reserved doesn't help anyone because then your
• 40:29
  communication piece of what you're doing is just there isn't
• 40:34
  one. So then everything sucks because
• 40:37
  you're, you're upset that they don't talk to you and they're
• 40:40
  upset that you don't talk to them.
• 40:41
  And now you're just like, Well, I this is, this was all my
• 40:46
  doing. This is all my decisions.
• 40:47
  Why am I doing this? So that all that sorting
• 40:51
  through? Well, it's been like 10 years
• 40:53
  since I sorted through it but it's an ongoing process.
• 40:56
  I think you'll survive about that communication thing, man.
• 40:59
  Like the amount of times I've spoken to someone after the fact
• 41:03
  and been like, this is how I felt and they're like, I had no
• 41:07
  idea or worse. If like, you know, you you go,
• 41:14
  oh, you know, you were like this, you you ignore me.
• 41:17
  You would this, that, and the other and it's like, did you
• 41:19
  turn around to me and tell me this?
• 41:22
  No, I didn't. Well then, Yeah, you need to
• 41:26
  just literally and it's a good way of finding out if people are
• 41:30
  worth your time and should be in your life because if you come to
• 41:33
  someone you say, hey I have a problem, this is how I feel and
• 41:36
  they're like, whatever or go fuck yourself, then you know
• 41:40
  where you stand and, you know, don't don't bother with that
• 41:42
  person. But if you have someone who's
• 41:44
  like, okay, and they sit down and they listen and they're
• 41:48
  there for you. There you go.
• 41:49
  That's a friend. You know, it's so simple but I
• 41:52
  suppose like It was so preoccupied with fear and what
• 41:56
  if this happens? Or what about this?
• 41:58
  What about this? What about?
• 41:59
  Oh no. And it's like, fuck, the fear
• 42:02
  man. Just go for it.
• 42:04
  Yeah, just go for it. Well, and I have a tendency to
• 42:12
  get distracted in that talk to people.
• 42:14
  So that's always, that's always a problem.
• 42:17
  Where, like, I'll just be working and, you know, I don't
• 42:21
  want to talk to anybody when I'm and because I'm always talking
• 42:25
  to a customer right, so that right there and then coming home
• 42:30
  and just being like, OK, I've talked to enough humans today, I
• 42:33
  don't need to talk to anybody else.
• 42:34
  Yeah. Right.
• 42:36
  So when that happens there there can be like a block of time
• 42:41
  where I don't talk to a person and especially if if it was just
• 42:44
  like a fledgling, hey, we matched on whatever and now I
• 42:49
  quote unquote ghost on you. Now, I feel terrible and now All
• 42:54
  that fear that you were talking about, and then anxiety of just
• 42:56
  being like, should I reach out to them and like apologize.
• 43:00
  Should I just cut it off? Like, they haven't reached out
• 43:02
  to me. Should I reach out to them?
• 43:04
  I don't know what I'm doing with my hands now and yeah, it's all
• 43:08
  like a lost cause so that's happened to me over the years,
• 43:11
  like a bunch of times and I just get focused on work and then
• 43:14
  stop talking to people and then boom.
• 43:18
  Now, I don't know what I'm doing with anything, it's so important
• 43:22
  to understand that as Humans, like, I think so many of us
• 43:26
  missed that like, I remember, you know, when I was a kid and I
• 43:29
  had to go stay with my, with my dad, like he.
• 43:32
  He's a barber by profession. Yeah.
• 43:34
  And he's a business owner as well.
• 43:36
  So he's got like it's just like, super stressful plus he's got
• 43:40
  kids, you know, just like, I don't know time and I remember
• 43:42
  there was a point where it was kind of sad.
• 43:44
  I mean it's much better now, he's in a good place but back
• 43:47
  then he was just stressed the fuck out, you know, he's working
• 43:51
  Monday to Saturday sometimes Sundays Sometimes he sometimes
• 43:54
  he was just literally working every single day, plus three
• 43:58
  kids marriage, you name it. And when I was seeing him,
• 44:03
  obviously, I didn't see him often.
• 44:05
  We didn't live together so special and I kind of sucked.
• 44:08
  Like I'd be there in a Saturday and he come home from work and
• 44:12
  he just fall asleep on the sofa. He was naturally exhausted.
• 44:15
  And I remember feeling like, like, like feeling bad for
• 44:19
  myself, like I feel like such a prick now, like, you know, that
• 44:23
  was a kid. I was young, I didn't understand
• 44:25
  right now. I understand that he was
• 44:29
  exhausted, but you know what? It wasn't so much from The
• 44:32
  Cutting of the hair. That's easier.
• 44:34
  A haircut takes 20-30 minutes, whatever, you know.
• 44:36
  Yeah, it was the fact that he had to constantly talk and be a
• 44:41
  sales guy and be a therapist or whatever the fuck like he had to
• 44:44
  just, you know, it's, there's so many other professions out there
• 44:47
  that do this. I bartenders, or, you know,
• 44:49
  whatever, like yeah, you have to do that and it's exhausting
• 44:53
  People don't appreciate like just how much energy it takes to
• 44:56
  just talk to people. Yeah, yeah.
• 44:59
  And like I've had jobs where I can turn my brain off and just
• 45:05
  physically work. Yeah.
• 45:06
  And physical exhaustion is completely different from a
• 45:08
  mental exhaustion. Yes.
• 45:10
  And the job that I have now it's all mental nonsense and like
• 45:16
  what you're talking about playing shrink playing you know
• 45:19
  therapist trying to get all this stuff going and it's it's so
• 45:25
  different and it hits you to wear your body doesn't fail.
• 45:30
  It's still there. But mentally, you're just
• 45:33
  drained, emotionally, you're drained.
• 45:34
  And you just don't you fall into yourself at least I do and you
• 45:38
  just don't want to people at all for the next like 24 to 48
• 45:43
  hours, at least. And the unfortunate things that
• 45:46
  you had to get up and do it again and like keep pushing
• 45:48
  through and keep pushing through.
• 45:50
  So you can develop this kind of like I said, almost like split
• 45:54
  personality where you're putting on a show, right?
• 45:57
  And it's just exhausting putting on that show day in and day out.
• 46:02
  Yeah, I'm like and I've said this on the podcast before, so
• 46:05
  sorry for a Pian but like you know, it's something that comes
• 46:09
  up often. The fact of the matter is, if
• 46:12
  you're having a comments of conversation that you enjoy
• 46:14
  talking about things that you like talking about, it's fun.
• 46:18
  You know, after we're done after an hour or two hours, I'll feel
• 46:20
  fine afterwards. Yeah.
• 46:22
  You know what if I was working at sales job which I've worked
• 46:24
  in customer service is so I don't understand like yeah, you
• 46:28
  are having conversations you don't want to have.
• 46:30
  You're talking to people who Close minded who you try and
• 46:34
  tell them again. And they get, no, we can't do it
• 46:35
  this way. Well, this is our policy.
• 46:37
  Well, it's like this, right? And they're just, they're not
• 46:40
  reasonable normal people. They're like, oh, but this, oh,
• 46:44
  but that it's just a fucking nightmare, you know, it's a lot
• 46:48
  of it is dealing with stupidity and dealing with people who just
• 46:54
  don't understand like, yes, no, this is it, blah blah, blah.
• 46:58
  All right. And there's nothing you could do
• 47:01
  about it. That you, like, you say, you
• 47:02
  have to kind of use this split personality, you have to like,
• 47:06
  you know, but when I was working customer services, it wasn't me.
• 47:09
  It was, you know, Christian the, the bartender good, Christian,
• 47:15
  the, the fucking grocery boy, whatever.
• 47:18
  Like, you know, it's just a different person, you know, as
• 47:21
  sometimes I find that. Like, if I'm doing presenting
• 47:24
  for the show, like, you know, at the beginning of this year,
• 47:26
  okay, welcome to the pocket, like, it is still me.
• 47:29
  But it's like, as you say, you're putting on a show, You
• 47:32
  putting on a performance, but God is so bad.
• 47:36
  You know what? Since we're talking about your
• 47:37
  job, I want to own a quiz. You more about this serious.
• 47:40
  You're a Salesman. All right, all right.
• 47:42
  Can you specify like what industry or yeah?
• 47:45
  I cell phones for a living. So I'm a manager at a cell phone
• 47:49
  store. Okay.
• 47:50
  So I know a little bit about this.
• 47:53
  All right. This is one of the most
• 47:54
  stressful sales positions, probably to have its front line
• 47:58
  as well. So, you're like, yeah, in-store.
• 48:00
  Yeah, yeah. Okay.
• 48:02
  Whole life is on that phone, your whole life and when it
• 48:05
  doesn't work your whole life just crashes and you come into
• 48:08
  the store and you're just like fix it and we can try.
• 48:13
  But normally it's going to be something different that you see
• 48:17
  happy with. This is something I haven't
• 48:19
  thought about actually because yeah, back in the day, a sales
• 48:23
  position of yeah. Phone place was just our okay.
• 48:27
  Does it can it ring deserve minutes, okay.
• 48:28
  Great. Right.
• 48:30
  How many years have you been? In this how many 10?
• 48:33
  Okay, so you would have started around 2011 2010 so yeah okay
• 48:40
  and in that time has it I mean obviously it's changed but like
• 48:46
  I guess I'm asking the obvious here, but yeah, like has it just
• 48:50
  become more and more and more stressful because of the nature
• 48:53
  of what you just outlined or there.
• 48:55
  Was it easier back then? Or you know, has changed.
• 48:58
  Yeah. So when I first started
• 49:00
  blackberries were thing. Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 49:04
  And then the iPhone 4 had just came out is when I first
• 49:10
  started. So that kind of gives you an
• 49:12
  idea of the technology that was back then kind of compared to
• 49:16
  what it is. Now, so when I first started I
• 49:19
  was, I was a tech and all I did was fix phones and we physically
• 49:24
  fix them in the store for the most part or did a replacement
• 49:28
  device day and date for that, that we kept in the store, we
• 49:32
  don't do that anymore. Everything has shifted and a lot
• 49:39
  of it is just the technology whole aspect of it where there's
• 49:46
  Leaps and Bounds every three to six months.
• 49:51
  With, with all this new, it's insane.
• 49:54
  How much stuff is coming out. There's no way for anybody to
• 49:57
  keep up with repairs or anything like that.
• 50:00
  So, all of that is just insane and especially with the phones
• 50:06
  nowadays, you can't remove the batteries or anything like that.
• 50:09
  So there's a, there's a lot more to it.
• 50:11
  Where you have to look at replacing every single one,
• 50:14
  almost. So there's Takashi Process a
• 50:17
  little bit. So you know before.
• 50:19
  Yeah. You said that used to be on on
• 50:20
  store thing which that sounds like a fucking nightmare and to
• 50:23
  fix the phone in front of the customer like screw that.
• 50:26
  But so what do you like tell him to go away for a couple of hours
• 50:31
  and then go fix this? Oh no source.
• 50:34
  So a lot of them just get replacement devices if there.
• 50:38
  And that's where the whole culture shift has or the
• 50:42
  approach has changed where because these devices are our
• 50:47
  full body, you can't replace just the parts.
• 50:50
  You have to replace the whole device and there's a couple
• 50:53
  things that are happening in the world where they're trying to
• 50:56
  fight for a right to repair because that, that repair
• 51:01
  process for your normal consumer is incredibly difficult, they
• 51:07
  have to actually find someone that is licensed by whatever
• 51:11
  company to actually replace and these parts.
• 51:15
  So especially if Apple device does Apple devices are so
• 51:19
  restrictive and so small on the inside that it's you can't
• 51:24
  replace anything in there. So instead of having to just
• 51:27
  replace a couple parts and redo that, we're replacing the whole
• 51:31
  phone every single time, and then you have to transfer all of
• 51:35
  your life from one device to another device.
• 51:39
  And it is that's that stress right there of the importance of
• 51:43
  cell phones, and everyday is the The biggest thing that has
• 51:49
  impacted, I think the overall cellular industry where, you
• 51:55
  know, there was a time where all we cared about were phone calls.
• 52:00
  And then text message, just came and then emails came and now we
• 52:06
  have Tick Tock, we have Snapchat.
• 52:10
  So we have all this stuff so we're centrioles right, right?
• 52:14
  Essentially what Constantly engrossed in our phones.
• 52:19
  So if we're, if that is such like an ingrained part of our
• 52:22
  being, you have to think about just the exponential stress on
• 52:27
  those different companies that are trying to navigate while
• 52:31
  also producing more stuff for you to look at your phone with.
• 52:35
  So it's a, it's a dual edged sword with that where you have
• 52:39
  to as a full company. And I'm just talking in general
• 52:44
  where I think every cell phone Company is thinking about this,
• 52:48
  where they need to think about the consumer first, because
• 52:52
  we're not, we're not selling a product that you can just buy at
• 52:59
  a store for the most part. You're not going into Walmart
• 53:03
  for the most part and just picking up a phone off of rack,
• 53:07
  you know what I mean? A lot.
• 53:09
  There's there's a lot of setup process for that, there's
• 53:11
  everything for it. So it's much more of a personal
• 53:15
  consultant. Tied in with a therapist job
• 53:19
  tied into. Now this person's whole life is
• 53:24
  crashing before their eyes and now I have to try to reconcile
• 53:27
  with that and help them when nothing is going right?
• 53:31
  Because it's technology and Technology sucks.
• 53:34
  So it's very stressful for the frontlines and I think it's even
• 53:38
  more stressful to think about the overall shift in company
• 53:44
  mindset that everybody needs to have book.
• 53:46
  Consumers first, but also to be able to navigate all these
• 53:50
  different ways to bring content and what you can do to get it
• 53:54
  faster, more immediate more in their hands every second of
• 53:58
  every minute of every day. So it's it's a lot.
• 54:05
  Let's get to the fun bit. Tell us what sucks about this
• 54:09
  job. Have some fun with its worst
• 54:15
  story. Where its customers go for it.
• 54:20
  I think I think really the only thing that really, really
• 54:25
  irritates me now is especially in this day and age with the
• 54:32
  pandemic and all that is people still not caring about other
• 54:36
  people. So if you're trying to come into
• 54:39
  a retail store without a mask, that is not We roll like put a
• 54:45
  mask on protect your other people and just that, like
• 54:48
  blatant disregard, I think whether you believe it's
• 54:52
  happening or not, it's happening.
• 54:53
  Like people are dead. So like don't do that, please.
• 54:58
  That that idea and the idea of entitlement for four customers
• 55:04
  where you guys have trained me to come to you for everything.
• 55:10
  Now, I'm entitled because I pay my bill for you to help me with.
• 55:14
  Everything. So you need to fix it like kind
• 55:20
  of like, what you said earlier, these are my options.
• 55:23
  I can only give you a couple things, which one do you want
• 55:26
  and if you don't like any of them I'm sorry I still can't do
• 55:29
  anything for you. And that's that is very rough
• 55:33
  where you're when you're putting that situation and your hands
• 55:36
  are kind of tied with everything and between just like the
• 55:40
  blatant. Disregard that some people have
• 55:42
  And that sense of entitlement. Those are the really, the two
• 55:46
  worst things, because it's not just that, that worst experience
• 55:50
  or that worst interaction. It's such an overarching thing
• 55:54
  that we've done as a company to ourselves.
• 55:59
  Are there any particular, moments, customers experiences
• 56:04
  that like stand out for you? I was just like, I can't believe
• 56:07
  this is happening. Like this is surreal like, you
• 56:09
  know, I remember I remember helping a very order lady with
• 56:17
  her phone and trying to fix it for her and then next thing I
• 56:21
  know she's throwing it at me, that's high.
• 56:25
  She's mad because I couldn't fully fix it and she was like,
• 56:28
  you take it. I'm done and then walked out and
• 56:31
  I was like, all right, I guess that's cool.
• 56:35
  Yeah so that I think I think that 16 with me more because I
• 56:39
  was legitimately like, trying to help her That's the thing.
• 56:43
  The next thing I know. She's just so mad at me for no
• 56:45
  reason. And just like, this is
• 56:46
  ridiculous kind of nuts. Help.
• 56:49
  People switch sometimes, isn't it?
• 56:50
  Like you can let you just be just be talking normally like,
• 56:52
  Okay. So this would be the rate for
• 56:54
  this and then suddenly fuck you. Okay.
• 56:58
  Yeah, one of my other one of my other favorite moments is this
• 57:04
  was a few years back, not a few years, a little while ago.
• 57:09
  Because that was before I quit drinking.
• 57:11
  So without us, thank you. I was at a bar and the bartender
• 57:17
  was asking what I did for a living.
• 57:18
  And I told her you know, I work for the cell phones and I work
• 57:22
  at this company and the dude on the other side of the bar was
• 57:25
  like fuck your company and I was like, all right man, appreciate
• 57:30
  it like thanks. And then he left.
• 57:35
  Like I was talking to the bartender and he had left and I
• 57:38
  didn't even pay attention to it. I go to pay my tab and he paid
• 57:41
  it for me because he felt so bad and I was just like sorry that
• 57:46
  company did that to you. I'm just a dude.
• 57:48
  But uh, you know, that sucks. I got a free meal out of it, so
• 57:53
  that's cool. But that sucks.
• 57:56
  You mentioned in that that you'd quit drinking.
• 57:59
  Do you feel comfortable talking about that?
• 58:01
  Yeah, yeah. So I quit drinking about four or
• 58:03
  five years ago. Nice, congratulations.
• 58:06
  And that's awesome. Yeah.
• 58:08
  Time time is the contract. So I don't understand how long
• 58:11
  it's been. But that's a great analogy by
• 58:14
  the way, great really? But this is be more true.
• 58:19
  So, It got out of hand, pretty, pretty a lot.
• 58:24
  And what I noticed is, I would have a great time out with
• 58:30
  people and then when I get home, it was a completely different
• 58:34
  story. And I was just spending way too
• 58:37
  much money. So I think like the night before
• 58:40
  I fully quit quit, I spent like three hundred dollars at a bar
• 58:44
  and I was like I'm not fucking doing that again.
• 58:47
  But I had blacked out and then woke up in the middle of trying
• 58:51
  to commit suicide. And then oh, wow.
• 58:53
  Okay, yeah. Wait, were you I know how this
• 58:57
  was a where you kind of like consciously aware that you were
• 59:01
  trying to do is or was it kind of like a you wake up and you're
• 59:04
  kind of like what the fuck am I doing?
• 59:06
  Kind of situation that that right there?
• 59:08
  Like having having the whole like bit in my hand and going
• 59:12
  for the wrist was a enough to just like, holy shit.
• 59:18
  I don't need to do this and I threw everything away and I was
• 59:20
  just like, all right, well, Well, guess I'm not drinking
• 59:22
  again because that just scared the shit out of me.
• 59:25
  So yeah, that that because I always thought for me growing up
• 59:32
  that it's such a like a selfish thing and a silly thing to do
• 59:37
  that, like, take your own life and then I've drastically
• 59:42
  changed my view over over the years, right?
• 59:45
  You had mentioned losing friends.
• 59:47
  I've lost a few of them to and, and just, it really is kind of
• 59:51
  Kind of like what we touched on before that, that stoicism where
• 59:55
  you can't really talk about your feelings and you if you, if you
• 59:59
  can. Sometimes it's just like an echo
• 1:00:02
  chamber, and, you know, your you can't stop your own thoughts
• 1:00:06
  sometimes, and all that, you know, this year, I'm taking even
• 1:00:10
  more seriously and trying to seek a little bit of treatment
• 1:00:13
  for it. So, so like how did you actually
• 1:00:16
  have a comment? Because obviously, you know,
• 1:00:18
  it's a process and you know there's different ways to To
• 1:00:22
  sort of, tackle it and stuff. And the interesting thing that I
• 1:00:26
  found in what you were saying is that, you know, you you decided
• 1:00:30
  you like, I have a problem. I need to deal with this right
• 1:00:33
  now. Some people realize that later
• 1:00:36
  some people get told by others, hey, you got a problem and some
• 1:00:41
  people, you know, have other people kind of put them in the
• 1:00:45
  right direction. We have it, right?
• 1:00:46
  Whether that be like rehab or therapy or whatever, the case
• 1:00:49
  may be, but Kind of sounds like you were at least in the driver.
• 1:00:54
  See like, okay, I'm gonna steer this ship, I'm going to do take
• 1:00:58
  some steps. So like, what kind of steps did
• 1:01:00
  you take? And it took us through that
• 1:01:02
  journey of like, sure, getting through that and then coming out
• 1:01:05
  the other end. So the, the biggest thing for me
• 1:01:08
  is legitimately scaring the shit out of myself like that, right
• 1:01:12
  there. Was like, this is a major
• 1:01:16
  problem and I can't, I can't do this anymore and if I look back,
• 1:01:21
  I should have saw way more signs.
• 1:01:23
  We're like driving on the wrong side of the road should have
• 1:01:26
  stopped me before this and it didn't.
• 1:01:29
  So there's a there's a couple of things in there where I think I
• 1:01:33
  think Probably that year before I quit that I was getting.
• 1:01:40
  So out of control that if if I would have got like a DOI or
• 1:01:45
  something that probably would have shook me, but that didn't
• 1:01:49
  happen. So then it just spiraled more
• 1:01:51
  out of it. And so with me, the the first
• 1:01:56
  the first morning after that I was just like, fuck it.
• 1:01:59
  I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore.
• 1:02:02
  And I remember visiting my parents, I'm telling them and
• 1:02:07
  they're just like, fuck off your coming day, drinking with us and
• 1:02:10
  was like, all right, I guess I got my revenge because that they
• 1:02:17
  live in North Carolina in the mountains, where it can get
• 1:02:21
  pretty hot in there. And I like the darker beers.
• 1:02:24
  So for me I was drinking all the darker beer that they don't
• 1:02:28
  really sell that much of anyway and then just the heat got to
• 1:02:32
  me. So I just threw up all over
• 1:02:34
  their house. I said laughs for those kind of
• 1:02:39
  a weird sense of Revenge. Yeah, yeah, I mean, for me, so I
• 1:02:45
  threw up slept through up again, slept more.
• 1:02:48
  So it was a great vacation, sorry, that level of sarcasm,
• 1:02:55
  just hit me Noah. But uh, so I think the biggest
• 1:03:01
  thing for me is You know, making it known that, hey, I'm not
• 1:03:05
  doing this anymore. Outside of that little blip, you
• 1:03:09
  know, and after talking to them, and making sure that they
• 1:03:13
  understand how serious I am and all that stuff, because it was
• 1:03:17
  so fresh after that, and I never talked to them really about what
• 1:03:23
  happened and why until a little bit later.
• 1:03:26
  So for me, it was really that decision.
• 1:03:31
  But also everybody around me, You okay with it.
• 1:03:35
  So that kind of goes back to what we were talking about with
• 1:03:37
  connections and growing relationships to where you can
• 1:03:40
  trust the people that are around you and no matter what you're
• 1:03:43
  going through and your decision, you know, they'll support you
• 1:03:46
  for it. And for me to like concerts were
• 1:03:49
  always a big part of my life and being able to go to a concert
• 1:03:54
  and not have to have a drink was amazing because I was always
• 1:04:00
  there for the music and that just solidified me.
• 1:04:03
  To say, okay, if I can not drink in this environment, I cannot
• 1:04:06
  drink anywhere else. So I'm totally fine at that
• 1:04:10
  point where I had thought about doing a.
• 1:04:14
  A, and I thought about doing this other stuff.
• 1:04:17
  One, I'm not religious and it does like going through those
• 1:04:23
  different steps in the that program for me.
• 1:04:26
  Makes it feel disingenuine a little bit.
• 1:04:29
  Oh, so is the AA program really religious?
• 1:04:33
  Then always it just it started off in Christianity and a lot of
• 1:04:36
  the steps that you have to go through.
• 1:04:38
  That is very much a Christian set up.
• 1:04:42
  So you're looking at, you know, asking for forgiveness going
• 1:04:47
  through the steps of penance and stuff like that and and being
• 1:04:51
  humble and learning community and all this other nonsense
• 1:04:55
  which I have a I have a full grasp of it for myself.
• 1:04:58
  Like I know when I fucked up, I can say that.
• 1:05:01
  But fair play Man. yeah, but it's It was something where I
• 1:05:07
  was just super appreciative everybody around me and just
• 1:05:11
  their immediate acceptance of. Okay.
• 1:05:13
  This is what we're doing now. It's totally cool.
• 1:05:16
  Like we all know how much of a degenerate you were but that's
• 1:05:19
  fine. Well we got you you're going to
• 1:05:21
  try to clean up your act, that's great today.
• 1:05:23
  Kind of say that in such words like kind of like to sort of
• 1:05:27
  know they were nicer. These were just the thoughts
• 1:05:29
  that I had in my head. Oh okay.
• 1:05:31
  Well so like they might say something but he felt for you
• 1:05:34
  like a lot worse kind of thing. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:05:37
  Like that they were always very supportive and I always wanted
• 1:05:42
  to make sure that I made that known that.
• 1:05:45
  I appreciate it so much and have those conversations with the
• 1:05:49
  people that matter. But there is always that part of
• 1:05:51
  my headphones, like, this could spiral at any time.
• 1:05:56
  So if I don't like, keep my act together and keep leaning on
• 1:06:02
  these people, then I can turn into that person before and I
• 1:06:04
  don't want to do that. So this is an important thing.
• 1:06:07
  I think that we might missed before is that it's important to
• 1:06:11
  talk about the fact that you do become a different person.
• 1:06:13
  If you're on drugs, alcohol, whatever like I've experienced
• 1:06:17
  it, I remember one time at University.
• 1:06:21
  I drank a bunch of random stuff, you know, kissing ass.
• 1:06:23
  And I don't remember this but apparently I was running around
• 1:06:27
  my Halls shouting. The c word, everyone banging on
• 1:06:30
  people's doors screaming like I don't remember any of that.
• 1:06:34
  Yeah and it's kind of scary. It made me realize like hey you
• 1:06:37
  know, this It might be fun to have a drink every once in
• 1:06:42
  awhile, but like this can change you like so that you're not,
• 1:06:46
  you're not in the driver's seat anymore and that for me was I
• 1:06:48
  God. Oh, fuck that.
• 1:06:49
  I want to be in control. I don't want to have happen
• 1:06:51
  control me. Yeah, that that sense of control
• 1:06:56
  is a big thing that I try to not take for granted now, I've used
• 1:07:04
  pot a little bit this past year because I have a bulging disc in
• 1:07:08
  my back, that's pain all the time.
• 1:07:12
  So I'm trying different stuff to manage that but as soon as it
• 1:07:16
  like that first experience with it was just like this is
• 1:07:19
  probably not for me because that lack of control and if you've
• 1:07:24
  done it for like four or five years where you don't have any
• 1:07:27
  kind of substances in you at all and now you're just looking
• 1:07:31
  around me. Like, what am I putting into my
• 1:07:32
  body? Why does this not feel great?
• 1:07:35
  What is happening? It was.
• 1:07:38
  It's a very interesting process for me, knowing that I have, I
• 1:07:43
  have a sense of control. If I just don't do this and what
• 1:07:47
  do, what do I would like more? Do I like Clarity?
• 1:07:49
  Do I like being able to be productive?
• 1:07:52
  Can I just take Tylenol? Is that going to be okay for me
• 1:07:55
  at the moment? You know, there's a couple
• 1:07:58
  different things and you can use like topicals where it doesn't
• 1:08:01
  actually get you high or anything.
• 1:08:03
  Thing. So, that's what I've been using.
• 1:08:05
  I've been trying to use it way more as like a legit medicine
• 1:08:09
  rather than an escape that some people use.
• 1:08:12
  So immediately, once once I felt that again, I was like, I
• 1:08:17
  probably don't want to do this all the time, and it is
• 1:08:21
  definitely still a struggle for me though, because sometimes I
• 1:08:24
  like that feeling. So, I've seen myself where I
• 1:08:30
  have in spurts I've treated marijuana, as I treated the
• 1:08:34
  liquor that I had before where I can just do that all day, every
• 1:08:39
  day and become a vegetable. I guess if I want to, but there
• 1:08:46
  is always that that voice inside me and being like, you can do
• 1:08:50
  better, it's okay. Like you don't have to just do
• 1:08:53
  this all the time. You can you can actually do
• 1:08:55
  other shit because you've proven to yourself You can absolutely
• 1:08:58
  and just what you were saying with regards to the productivity
• 1:09:01
  thing I could. I totally agree with that.
• 1:09:03
  I filled this exactly the same, like I barely ever drink like,
• 1:09:08
  and I love to party have a good time.
• 1:09:11
  Like just like every other person but like, yeah, like I've
• 1:09:14
  noticed like, the especially the, I don't know if there's an
• 1:09:17
  age thing, but like these days if I drink, I got drunk, I lose
• 1:09:21
  the next day. Yeah, like and it's not just,
• 1:09:24
  it's not necessarily even a hangover Because I know what
• 1:09:27
  hangover is hangover hangover. Like I just have this like every
• 1:09:31
  time, every time like this body draining, it's like, I think
• 1:09:36
  it's just extreme dehydration or whatever, but it's like, you
• 1:09:40
  can't do anything that day is gone and that's a wasted day.
• 1:09:43
  And, like, you say, I mean, it's it's borrowed time, generally
• 1:09:47
  minutes, it's we're not gaining any time, we're losing it.
• 1:09:50
  So, do you want to spend your days finish are?
• 1:09:54
  Or do you want to kind of join? I mean, like, These days,
• 1:09:58
  especially since I've working a lot more doing a lot more stuff.
• 1:10:01
  You know, there's not really any room for that in my life and
• 1:10:05
  these days, you know, I go like once in a blue moon, okay, I'll
• 1:10:08
  have some drinks with some friends, whatever.
• 1:10:09
  But like this take it or leave it you know I'd rather sit and
• 1:10:14
  eat like cheese or something. Yeah that's way better.
• 1:10:18
  Jesus dangerous people, by the way, just saying, yeah, the
• 1:10:24
  issue is when you still like it but it doesn't Doesn't like you.
• 1:10:27
  So, yeah, that's true. As I've gotten older, it's hated
• 1:10:32
  me more and more, and I like it more and more and it makes me
• 1:10:35
  sad, but one of the things I think now too, is that people
• 1:10:41
  are way more open to talk about it.
• 1:10:43
  And, you know, I was talking to a few friends, a few weeks ago,
• 1:10:47
  where one of them had blacked out and did something that they
• 1:10:51
  didn't even know turned into a completely different person,
• 1:10:53
  right? And then the other person, you
• 1:10:55
  know, they can see. They're having a problem and the
• 1:11:00
  staying at home has compounded that problem, right?
• 1:11:05
  So they they're trying to figure out, you know, what, their next
• 1:11:08
  step is supposed to be right? So do they say?
• 1:11:12
  Yeah this is this is enough. Like I need to stop this or I
• 1:11:17
  still kind of have it under control, you know they have to
• 1:11:20
  figure that out for themselves. I think the other thing too,
• 1:11:24
  like the productivity part and like What you just talked about
• 1:11:27
  as far as like taking advantage of the day, right?
• 1:11:31
  So I've started waking up way earlier, like 7734 is for this
• 1:11:37
  year and trying to steal back my time.
• 1:11:40
  Because just like, what you were talking about, if I'm not
• 1:11:42
  working, I'm doing something usually podcast related.
• 1:11:46
  And if I'm not doing either of those, I'm usually sleeping.
• 1:11:49
  So that time for yourself isn't really there.
• 1:11:52
  And the time for others is definitely not there because
• 1:11:56
  your Parties are different so that kind of regresses you in
• 1:12:01
  any kind of social aspect of it. And then regresses, you a
• 1:12:04
  personal development part because you're not able to have
• 1:12:07
  those experiences to enhance those conversations either.
• 1:12:10
  So you can and this is what I think about like all the time is
• 1:12:16
  Am I stagnant? And if I'm stagnant, how am I
• 1:12:19
  contributing to these conversations based off my past?
• 1:12:22
  Because my past isn't going anywhere?
• 1:12:25
  But I can so if I can go experience this stuff and have D
• 1:12:29
  these different connections and all that, why aren't I to be
• 1:12:33
  able to help these overall connections?
• 1:12:36
  And, you know, just going out to Nature like enjoying yourself
• 1:12:40
  outside, maybe you should start doing that and so I've been
• 1:12:44
  trying, it hasn't worked out. Yeah, but I've been everyone has
• 1:12:47
  everyone has that thing. I think that's you know like for
• 1:12:50
  some people, it's box him. Some people it's exercising for
• 1:12:53
  other people, it's reading, I don't know, they'll always be
• 1:12:56
  something for you personally that works and I think that's
• 1:12:59
  kind of key in that. But in terms of that, when you
• 1:13:03
  were giving it up, did you do it, like cold turkey or did you
• 1:13:06
  do it in steps? Like, you know, sometimes that
• 1:13:08
  when people are quitting smoking, they'll cut down and
• 1:13:10
  stuff. Like what was your approach when
• 1:13:12
  I cut smoking? That's exactly what my Approach
• 1:13:15
  was. Cutting down over over time.
• 1:13:17
  Because at one point at one point, I was smoking like three
• 1:13:21
  or four cigarettes a week. And then my mom was just like,
• 1:13:24
  just quit. What are you doing?
• 1:13:26
  You're just your cigarettes are going stale.
• 1:13:29
  All of this stuff just quit. If you're not smoking a whole
• 1:13:32
  pack, you're not doing it right? So okay.
• 1:13:37
  The be an addict. So don't be in that.
• 1:13:39
  It just throw waste of my time, exactly.
• 1:13:42
  With the, with the, the alcohol. It was definitely, That culture
• 1:13:47
  key aspect of it and that cold turkey of, I can't do this
• 1:13:52
  anymore because I will die if I continue to do this, right?
• 1:13:56
  And again, immediately after that, like immediately, after I
• 1:14:01
  got that message out to everybody else, it was cool.
• 1:14:04
  So it was easy for me to be cold turkey for the most part and
• 1:14:09
  just like Miss Jameson and Miss Guinness.
• 1:14:13
  But it wasn't something that was such a A pulling Force.
• 1:14:20
  So I didn't feel the need to go back to it.
• 1:14:23
  Other people aren't as lucky, I think as me and and don't have
• 1:14:29
  that that same mentality, they can go through some of the stuff
• 1:14:33
  that I went through, but they can take it completely different
• 1:14:36
  and maybe use that stuff. More as a crutch where I found
• 1:14:40
  it as a huge detriment and that was one of the reasons why
• 1:14:46
  everything was going south for me when I was Alone drinking.
• 1:14:51
  Because all those thoughts that I would have normally where I
• 1:14:55
  can combat those with logic and brain and and different words,
• 1:14:59
  all those feelings are just let loose and just they're in your
• 1:15:04
  head and there's nothing stopping it.
• 1:15:06
  So, Being able to recognize that and know that I have to be in
• 1:15:12
  control because if I'm not in control it's going to be a bad
• 1:15:14
  time for me and everybody else around me and just that support
• 1:15:18
  system, help me, for sure. It's not, it's not easy for
• 1:15:21
  everybody else, and when I try to like, give any kind of advice
• 1:15:24
  to anybody, it's really just like, Find the people that
• 1:15:29
  support you the most and make it easy for you to keep doing your
• 1:15:34
  own path because if if you choose correctly then they're
• 1:15:39
  going to support you in any way possible and do what's better
• 1:15:43
  for you all the way through. So those are also the people
• 1:15:47
  that you care about and those are the ones that you want to
• 1:15:49
  invest in because they're investing so much in you.
• 1:15:52
  If it is someone that is like, oh dude now come on in.
• 1:15:56
  You can you can have a couple bruised, it's fine.
• 1:15:58
  And that's probably not the person that you want to.
• 1:16:00
  Yeah. So associate with anymore
• 1:16:02
  unfortunately and you can kind of see that that maturation and
• 1:16:06
  that that perspective change over time for sure.
• 1:16:10
  As I want to say a massive, thank you for sharing that.
• 1:16:13
  I know a lot of people, I know it's not easy to talk about.
• 1:16:17
  So I just want to say thank you for that and I think a lot of
• 1:16:19
  people in, you know, listening will even be able to relay or
• 1:16:24
  will find some sort of you'll Find it inspiring because, you
• 1:16:29
  know, I did and I think it's amazing to be able to kick its
• 1:16:34
  I've heard a lot of stories over the years, you know, I have
• 1:16:36
  personal experience from from family and friends so I know
• 1:16:40
  it's not something that you can just do it.
• 1:16:44
  It's a tough thing. It's a mental and physical
• 1:16:46
  battle. So I think.
• 1:16:49
  Yeah well done you man. Thank you sir.
• 1:16:50
  Thank you. I really I really think too that
• 1:16:53
  it's just a social acceptance of it and that that has changed.
• 1:16:59
  The generations that are out now, mmm-hmm, just like what
• 1:17:02
  we've kind of talked about with that, emotional acceptance and
• 1:17:05
  there and being able to articulate and talk about this
• 1:17:08
  stuff. You know, that that sense of
• 1:17:11
  safety there, to be able to, actually take care of yourself
• 1:17:16
  is very, very important. And that hasn't been a thing for
• 1:17:20
  so long. Where, you know, that stoicism
• 1:17:25
  quote-unquote, toxic masculinity and all that stuff.
• 1:17:28
  You know, that's that's where it is a long time ago, that's not
• 1:17:32
  where it is now. And if we can keep progressing
• 1:17:35
  towards that and having these conversations, then we can
• 1:17:39
  hopefully just use this stuff to be okay.
• 1:17:43
  And like with a commercial and say actually drink in moderation
• 1:17:46
  or use the stuff in moderation because it can get out of
• 1:17:50
  control quick. I actually think that the legal
• 1:17:54
  classification of alcohol is a big issue behind this because If
• 1:17:59
  you really think about it, like it should be illegal.
• 1:18:03
  Yeah, when you think about, when you look at the damage, that it
• 1:18:06
  does to the body, how it affects people in comparison to say like
• 1:18:09
  marijuana, right? Yeah.
• 1:18:11
  There's always been this argument that.
• 1:18:12
  Well, they should legalize marijuana and if anything get
• 1:18:15
  rid of alcohol, right? And I think that because it's
• 1:18:18
  legal, maybe people's perception of it.
• 1:18:21
  Over the years hasn't been taken seriously because I wasn't it's
• 1:18:24
  legal. And, you know, you just have to,
• 1:18:26
  you know, be careful and blah blah blah.
• 1:18:27
  But Now people realize damage and what it can do.
• 1:18:30
  And now that it's taken seriously in connection with
• 1:18:35
  everything else and life that is has negative things associated
• 1:18:40
  with it. Like you said, people do take it
• 1:18:42
  seriously and I think that, As long as long as that continues,
• 1:18:49
  then you know, we should be headed in the right direction
• 1:18:52
  and you know, hopefully people won't be addicted anymore.
• 1:18:55
  You know? Right.
• 1:18:56
  Well, it's that it's that taking mental illness, seriously.
• 1:18:59
  Yes. It's taking that depression,
• 1:19:01
  seriously. It's taking that anxiety.
• 1:19:02
  But also knowing the signs for that.
• 1:19:05
  Right. So, knowing okay, this person is
• 1:19:08
  drinking every night by themselves.
• 1:19:11
  They're battling something. What are they battling?
• 1:19:13
  We need to find that out, right? Or they're bingeing At the bar
• 1:19:18
  and getting kicked out every night or every week.
• 1:19:22
  What is going on? Is it something, you know,
• 1:19:26
  distinctly emotionally messed up with them?
• 1:19:30
  Are they using it as a coping mechanism?
• 1:19:31
  What's going on? We need to figure that out.
• 1:19:34
  So if we can get back to the source of it and the root of it
• 1:19:38
  and actually treat that stuff and just that acceptance of.
• 1:19:43
  Oh yeah, that's actually a thing.
• 1:19:44
  Let's figure this out rather than oh yeah, just be A man it's
• 1:19:48
  okay you don't have to cry or anything.
• 1:19:51
  Be man, it's fine, you know, walk it off.
• 1:19:53
  So if that mentality continues to shift like what you said,
• 1:19:58
  we're going to be good, absolutely moving it Forward.
• 1:20:03
  What are the best and worst things about living in
• 1:20:07
  Baltimore, Maryland. Well, the first thing is, I'm a
• 1:20:12
  little about about an hour and a half south of Baltimore.
• 1:20:16
  So Maryland is a dump. 8. So it's it's shaped like an l
• 1:20:21
  and like a upside down l so you can be when people think of
• 1:20:28
  Maryland they only think about like D.C Baltimore area but you
• 1:20:31
  can still be in Maryland and be way down south because it like
• 1:20:36
  has this really long strip of land.
• 1:20:39
  That is stupid because there's only like one or two ways in and
• 1:20:43
  out of the state. So, With that being said,
• 1:20:48
  Baltimore is cool. It's got some got some really
• 1:20:51
  good music, food, and all that good stuff up there.
• 1:20:56
  I don't care about baseball or really football, so that's lost
• 1:20:59
  on me. I try to go to d.c. for hockey
• 1:21:02
  games, that's, that's my bread and butter.
• 1:21:06
  But what what you'll see is Marilyn is really weird because
• 1:21:10
  the, the cities that are there are full cities but most of the
• 1:21:14
  stuff that's around here. A very rural and Suburban.
• 1:21:17
  So it's a complete back and forth between like what we have
• 1:21:24
  down, where I live is way more spread out, everything takes 15,
• 1:21:29
  20 minutes to get to Via car. Everybody has to have a car.
• 1:21:34
  You can't just like hop on the bus or anything because most of
• 1:21:38
  the buses are commuter buses to Baltimore DC.
• 1:21:41
  So that right there makes it to where you have to have to if
• 1:21:47
  you're an adult you have to be pulling in a decent amount of
• 1:21:50
  money to just live. And if you're not, then you have
• 1:21:53
  to share your space with a bunch of different people and you're
• 1:21:56
  not going to really like it. So I like it for the most part,
• 1:22:02
  it stuff down than where I'm at for creatives and artists and
• 1:22:07
  musicians because there's no real place for them to play
• 1:22:10
  other than those cities wherever an hour and away.
• 1:22:13
  You know, that's tough for them to be able to develop their own
• 1:22:17
  Regional stuff and then go up to a bigger market and try to make
• 1:22:21
  a stab at that. So when you look at bands that
• 1:22:24
  are maybe from this area, a lot of them will always talk about
• 1:22:27
  their from DC or Baltimore instead.
• 1:22:30
  Is that what anybody knows? Right.
• 1:22:33
  So and they try to hook onto the bigger cities in the regional
• 1:22:37
  part of it. There's a lot of mom-and-pop
• 1:22:40
  shops down here, but there's also tons of corporate chains
• 1:22:44
  and battling. Those two things is, you can see
• 1:22:50
  the Mom and Pops being eaten up by the bigger corporations, and
• 1:22:54
  like the chain mail or chain malls, and restaurants, and
• 1:22:58
  stuff. So that, That's been, that's
• 1:23:01
  been a little disconcerting for me.
• 1:23:04
  For me, I always try to shop local and stuff like that.
• 1:23:07
  So again, with even with the podcast, like, I've interviewed
• 1:23:12
  a few local businesses and that's what I still want to be
• 1:23:15
  able to do like China Light more on those.
• 1:23:18
  And I think the the the other biggest thing in this area is
• 1:23:22
  that there's so many people doing great things and so many
• 1:23:25
  people that are doing stuff, that isn't even in this, State.
• 1:23:30
  But they're from here, they live here and like I said, you know,
• 1:23:35
  Justin was on Disney Cruises and going all Shelly, and doing all
• 1:23:38
  this other stuff. You have people that are
• 1:23:40
  lobbying for real change in the day care system, and all this
• 1:23:48
  other stuff that we have going on.
• 1:23:49
  That we have MMA fighters that are around here that are trying
• 1:23:52
  to break through. Like all of that is here, but
• 1:23:55
  it's so quiet because people don't think about this area.
• 1:24:00
  At all, they think Baltimore and DC and there's Virginia but I
• 1:24:05
  don't know anything about Marilyn at also.
• 1:24:09
  It's a I think it's a little diamond in the rough for the
• 1:24:14
  most part but if it can develop correctly which hasn't yet?
• 1:24:22
  So they've been a this place has been around for way too long.
• 1:24:28
  Then we'll be fine. But if they keep doing more the,
• 1:24:33
  the big residential areas and more the chain malls and more
• 1:24:37
  the chain stores, all the All charm that we may or may not
• 1:24:40
  have down here is going to go and that's going to be a sad day
• 1:24:45
  for sure. We have a similar problem here
• 1:24:47
  in the UK kind of hoping that we'll be able to turn that
• 1:24:53
  around. I mean what for instance us
• 1:24:55
  being in lockdown, sort of perpetually throughout this last
• 1:24:59
  year has really affected like our pubs and yeah, local
• 1:25:03
  businesses and stuff. Many of them have had to just
• 1:25:05
  close down and the pubs in the UK it's like synonymous with
• 1:25:09
  With our culture. So it's yeah, it does make me
• 1:25:12
  concerned for the future. Yeah, I mean you just can't you
• 1:25:19
  can't feel that way about our fucking Starbucks, can you?
• 1:25:22
  But you can, you can feel a connection to a local business
• 1:25:25
  because it's like you know, you grow up with it and you maybe
• 1:25:28
  get to know the family that runs and right away.
• 1:25:31
  It's part of a community. It's really important.
• 1:25:34
  Yeah. You also know that your money is
• 1:25:36
  going back into the people that actually live here.
• 1:25:39
  Yes, and can invest like there's a music shop here that I
• 1:25:45
  interviewed the owner of where he does a concert, every October
• 1:25:51
  he wasn't able to do it last year obviously because of the
• 1:25:54
  the pandemic. But you know what he'll do with
• 1:25:57
  that. That concert is take that money
• 1:26:00
  that he might raise from that and donate it directly to the
• 1:26:03
  County School System. So having that that person in
• 1:26:08
  there that can make An actual bigger change is so important
• 1:26:11
  and for it to be a local business owner rather than a
• 1:26:14
  corporation, just writing a check and writing that off, you
• 1:26:17
  know, it means more. So that Community builds around
• 1:26:20
  it and If you don't have that, that sense of community is just
• 1:26:25
  another place to live. You know you can live anywhere.
• 1:26:28
  You don't have to be here. You can probably live somewhere
• 1:26:30
  cheaper. You can go to the Midwest and be
• 1:26:32
  just fine because there's fuck all over there.
• 1:26:35
  So that's that's the I mean that's that's the other part
• 1:26:39
  about it is that everything on the east coast of America is
• 1:26:45
  very scrunched up so you have to just find pockets of freedom in
• 1:26:51
  there Like these rural areas because if you go up and down
• 1:26:55
  the coast like there's there's Town upon Town upon Town.
• 1:26:58
  Yeah. So crazy man.
• 1:27:04
  Yeah, shifting It Forward. What's the biggest lesson that
• 1:27:08
  you've learned in life so far? For me and I'm still working on.
• 1:27:17
  It is being more confident in your own self.
• 1:27:22
  So I've reached out to people and landed interviews that I
• 1:27:31
  never thought I would land because of cold opens and there
• 1:27:36
  not being any kind of connection beforehand and what I'm trying
• 1:27:42
  to still work on is saying okay I am good enough to reach out to
• 1:27:46
  whoever I want to write I am good enough for whatever
• 1:27:50
  position that I'm going for. I am good enough to talk about
• 1:27:52
  this stuff. I am good enough to lead.
• 1:27:54
  I'm so combating those negative feelings and thoughts.
• 1:28:00
  Of never being good enough. Hmm, I've never having that.
• 1:28:06
  In there and actually talking to myself, logically.
• 1:28:09
  That's one of the biggest things that I've learned is that, if
• 1:28:12
  you can combat all this negativity, and all this
• 1:28:15
  anxiousness with you, if you can just think about all the good
• 1:28:17
  things that you've actually done.
• 1:28:19
  And if you think about that in your skill set for it, that will
• 1:28:22
  hopefully overcome everything else.
• 1:28:25
  Thanks for Sharon. And yeah, I just want to say a
• 1:28:29
  massive, thank you for agreeing to be on the podcast and as we
• 1:28:34
  sort of draw this all to a close.
• 1:28:36
  My last question for you is, do you have any upcoming projects
• 1:28:39
  or fun, or thoughts that you'd wish to share with us today?
• 1:28:44
  I think the the final thought that I'll share is that people
• 1:28:48
  are people and they're not these crazy Out Of Reach folks, you
• 1:28:55
  know especially nowadays where everybody is clamoring to do
• 1:28:58
  something, don't be afraid to reach out to anybody for
• 1:29:02
  anything. So if you want, if you want to
• 1:29:05
  do something creative and and you're afraid to reach out for
• 1:29:09
  help, don't be because there's going to be someone that will be
• 1:29:13
  Link to help you. And that just that anxiety, and
• 1:29:16
  that fear of yourself, shouldn't be there.
• 1:29:19
  And once you get a little bit of that, that reinforcement, you'll
• 1:29:22
  be fine as far as any other projects going up.
• 1:29:25
  It's just the the show. I'll be releasing an episode
• 1:29:31
  this week. I don't know when this comes
• 1:29:32
  out, but I'm going back to weekly episode.
• 1:29:35
  So usually every Thursday just as long as I can, keep up with,
• 1:29:41
  with a multitude of ones that I have recorded.
• 1:29:43
  Added that I haven't started editing yet so we'll see.
• 1:29:45
  Oh, no. He's got the fuck up.
• 1:29:48
  That's the worst. There's so much.
• 1:29:51
  What I found is that I can, like, I can be cool with a
• 1:29:54
  backlog because then I can like take time from not talking to
• 1:29:58
  anybody and like working on my own path.
• 1:30:00
  That's cool. But when I look at the fact that
• 1:30:03
  I have like six or seven of them like shit, I need to get to work
• 1:30:06
  and that's a daunting daunting task and the dancing feeling
• 1:30:10
  you'll have it done in no time. Yes, and yeah masses.
• 1:30:16
  Thank you for agreeing to be on the show.
• 1:30:17
  It's been an absolute pleasure. Having you and having me on yeah
• 1:30:21
  to my listeners of the question, we have podcast, make sure you
• 1:30:24
  go check out crushed under board and his podcast ambition Radio
• 1:30:28
  podcast. Go check that out.
• 1:30:30
  It's an excellent podcast and yeah wish you the best of luck
• 1:30:34
  with that I want to say a massive.
• 1:30:36
  Thank you to everyone listening on whether it's YouTube Facebook
• 1:30:42
  spot. Defy Apple podcast, Google
• 1:30:44
  podcast where ever you're listening to Christian, we've
• 1:30:46
  podcast, make sure that your liking and sharing the videos
• 1:30:51
  following giving us ratings, whatever the case may be all of
• 1:30:54
  that stuff. As I always say, at the end of
• 1:30:57
  every podcast episode is invaluable.
• 1:31:00
  So with your support, it's going to help me push things forward.
• 1:31:03
  And you know, I haven't said this in a couple of episodes, so
• 1:31:06
  I should say, you know, if there are any particular guests, you'd
• 1:31:09
  like to see on the podcast or particular topics, you'd like to
• 1:31:11
  hear Let me know. My DMs are open.
• 1:31:15
  I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to know who you'd like
• 1:31:17
  to see what you'd like to hear. Thank you very much for
• 1:31:21
  listening and until next time. Peace at one of us you in the
• 1:31:24
  next one.