Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Mother Knows Best with Jade Roper Tolbert

Transcript

Mother Knows Best with Jade Roper Tolbert · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with our radio. Well, one of our favorites. Somebody that
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: doesn't come around enough on the Almost Famous podcast, I
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: would say, um, especially for someone who actually still watches
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: the show continuously every single week. Yeah, and she's married
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: to somebody I bet still watch the show anyways. Jade
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: is here with us today. Hello Jade, Hello, thank you
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: for having me. Well, Jade, we should actually have you
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: on to recap an episode sometime. Yeah, totally. I Like
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: I was telling you, I just finished, um, last night's
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: episode or whatever, this week's episode of the Bachelor. So
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: we do still watch it. Yeah, and Tanner still watches too,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: because no one loves reality TV more than Tanner. And
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Tanner was a fan of the show. If you guys
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: don't know beforehand, and he was called on Ben season
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Caitlin season as the Bachelor encyclopedia, and guys would go
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: to Tanner they wanted to, like foresee what their next
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: next move was going to be. Yeah, he would be like,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: this is week four, guys, so that means this is happening, Ben,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Do you have any of those memories? I have all
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: those memories. In fact, Tanner was a very calming force
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: because of his knowledge of the show and his fandom
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: of the show, and kind of like we talked about
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: on this week's episode, Ashley, I actually have a theory
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: about Tanner and I were talking about it. J tell
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: me if you think I'm right. After watching the show
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: and knowing Tanner very well, Um, I actually think Tanner
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: would be a villain today because I think he spoke
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: so much about the show and what would happen next
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: and kind of like maybe the strategy of the show.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I actually think Tanner, even though he's about as least
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: villainous of a person as possible, he would have been
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: a villain today. I think so he is not afraid
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: to do like hot takes. You know, he would give
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: the Reducers what they wanted and a t M s
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: about people, and he has a sarcastic side that can
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: come off a little like direct So I think that
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: they could have easily edit edited him into that or
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: nowadays people just wouldn't see that as funny anymore, exactly
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: like the guys. The guys would have reacted like, oh,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: he's here because he's a fan of the show. He's
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: not here to actually find somebody, and then Tanner would
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: have been the type of guy that you could have
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: like honestly sat with him, been like, Tanner, what happens
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: to people when they get off this show? Like I
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: have no idea like what life looks like. And he'd
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: be like, Oh, you're gonna get a ton of Instagram
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: followers and you're gonna he would say it, and yeah, nowadays,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: I think somebody would hear that, hear that and be
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: so sensitive to it. They'd be like, that guy is
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: not here for the right reasons. Where when we were there,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Tanner was a friend all and we just had to
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: blast with him. Yeah. I think now like because of
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: social media, it definitely changes the whole landscape of that.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Because when we were on the only Followers You've got out,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: we're Twitter followers and we talked about Twitter followers. I
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: think there was no this like social media job that existed.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: So I think nowadays he would just be he probably
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: would just be very honest and upfront and say, yeah,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: this is probably what would happen for you, and they
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: could definitely run people the wrong way. I just have
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: that theory now, um, which is kind of funny. If
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: you know Tanner because you're like, there's no way this
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: dude would have been like the villain on a season anyways. Um, yes,
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Uh so you are married the Tanner still happily seven
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: seven years happily married. You know what I will say,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like an honest person to marriage is hard, and
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: we've definitely had ebbs and flows. There's been hard years,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: and I think last year was a hard year for us,
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: and but I feel like we've kind of we had
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: a reset and so things have been really smooth as
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: of like I want to say, like November December. But
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: there were some hard stuff we went through last year.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Can I dig into that for just a second, because
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: I know Ashley in about five minutes is gonna be
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: like question af your question that I really know the
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: answer to, but I want to ask for the sake
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: of the audience. Yeah, she's and once she starts, she's
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: just gonna go. And so I'm gonna try to get
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: some in here. Uh, Jade, I've only been married now
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: for a year, in three months, three months as of
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: two days ago. Uh, so far marriage has been hard.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: It's hard in its own way for us. Communication, especially
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: how I communicate, has caused issues. What I don't say,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: and I just think and I hold on to and
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: UM try to suppress, and then sometimes it doesn't actually suppress,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: and it kind of like bubbles up at some point,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: like those are my issues that I'm dealing with. UM.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: But we're I think Jessica and I are finding a
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: rhythm to um to get back to like a balance
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: and get back to being good. We're trying to figure
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: out how to do that quicker than we used to maybe.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Uh So for you, you've been married for seven years.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: You said last year was a hard year. If you
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: don't mind me asking, uh, as much as you can
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: share what caused it to be a difficult year for
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: the two of you, and then how do you work
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: to a place of health again in your relationship? Yeah,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: that's hard, right, UM. I think it's hard because two
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: people come into a marriage with all of their baggage
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: packed at the door. Right. You know, we each have
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: our own childhood upbringings, We've each had our own life
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: experiences and those have really shaped us as people. And
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: then we bring them in and we try to make
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: them work with somebody else who may not completely ever
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: understand whatever you've been through as much as they try to,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: and we all require different needs and things to feel loved,
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: and I think that's hard sometimes. And so I think
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: like for us last year, I went through, um some
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: like job changes that were really hard. I switched agencies,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: which was really hard for me, UM because of like
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: personal reasons, and UM, I question a lot of like
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: my identity, and I think that I just was kind
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: of searching for that. And Sannar he really went on
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: like his own growth journey with some stuff that he
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: was going through with his family. And sometimes when you're
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: like going through that stuff, you may like make mistakes
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: or do like we have reactions that aren't necessarily healthy
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: because they're coming from a hurt place. And so for us,
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I think it was just coming to the point of like,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: if you're still in this willing to grow, and I'm
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: willing to grow, then like that's all you can ask for, right,
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: So I think it was kind of like as long
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: as we're still growing and you're gonna start, you know,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: you have your stuff you want to heal on, and
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I have my stuff I'm gonna heal on. We're gonna
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: give each other compassion through this. And I think that's
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: kind know what got us through it. UM, but therapy
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: therapy helps, UM, couples therapy or individual therapy individual individual.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: I think, UM, we eventually would do couples therapy just
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: because I think therapy is so healthy, but we did
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: more individual and I think that that this like past
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: year hitting your six in our marriage, it was just
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: it was just something that we both were kind of
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: going through individually and and so it was hard to
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: understand each other and how to show up for each other. UM.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: But the individual therapy, we would come back to each
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: other and share, and we learned things about each other,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: UM that we never knew, And I think there was
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: so much deeper understanding about each other and how to
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: kind of heal together. There's this meme going on meme.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: It's a trend going around and Amanda Stanton and Becca
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Martinez they comment on commented on it, and I feel
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: like you probably saw it too. So the trend goes
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: like this, it's a couple before they had kids, like
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: back in their camera role. They found like a cute
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: clip of them, and then it fast forwards to when
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: they have kids and they're like walking ships in the night.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Did you see it, Jade? I did, Yeah, and I
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: saw it and I laughed because of like accuracy, right,
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: And then I see Becca and Amanda's take on it,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: and they're both like, this is not something we should
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: really be laughing at. Kids don't ruin marriages. Kids tests marriages,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: They like challenge them and make two people grow together
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: in certain ways. And any um relationship that fails after
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: kids would have failed either way with or without kids.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: And you know, they have great points. They're totally I
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: was looking at it on more of a surface level,
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: and they also or like, never blame kids for a
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: marriage coming apart, but you have to laugh at the
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: fundamental trend, which is just like marriage doesn't. I mean,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: kids makes marriage a whole different thing. It's the first
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: time that it has felt like work seems like a
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: heavy word for me with Jared right now and us together,
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: but it's definitely been the most challenging year of our
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: marriage because you know how we've always been. It's always
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: been like so easy, breezy for us, but then with
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: a kid, there are just like a whole bunch of
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: new responsibilities and then you have to decide together how
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: to share these responsibilities and the life change it is jarring,
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: so I would say that, I would say from our opinion,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Like I know, people say like the harder super of
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: marriage is either um, your first year or it's like
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: the year you have kids. For me, i'm very team
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: when you have kids. What's your take on all of this?
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Sorry for the straight up ramble, No, no, no, no,
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: I love it. I did see the meame and I
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: know you're I do remember I didn't see Becca's comments,
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: but I did see Amanda commenting about Becca's comments. And
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I'm sort of on your side because there is an
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: accuracy to it, and I don't all everybody has their
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: own experiences. Some people may have, you know, the newborn
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: stage is easy and they thrive and their marriage has
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: never been better, and and then the toddler years are
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: harder or whatever. You know, you never know it. It's
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: all different. But when you invite a baby into the
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: picture that requires so much of you, it does affect
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: your marriage, you know. And there are sometimes where you
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: are two ships in the night and you may not
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: be connecting because you are just surviving. Sometimes you're to
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: send that survival mode, especially those first couple of years,
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: and so I think that's something you kind of need
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: to be aware of two is like if your marriage
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: is hard during that time, it's like you and I
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: really have to give each other grace because you both
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: are surviving. You really are this whole new experience. You
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: told me when I was pregnant. You're like, you're just
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: in survival mode. You'll be fine, you just have to
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: like hunker down. And now I'm in another zone that
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: you've been in, and now you're telling me to do
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: the same thing as somebody with no kids. When does
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: it start feeling different? Mm hmmm. I don't know, because
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Tanner I talk all the time about having a fourth baby.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: And Tanner's like, we're almost at the the light at
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: the end of the tunnel because my youngest is too,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: and so he's like, we're almost there, you know, Like
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: are you sure you want to start all over again?
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, are you sure we're almost at the
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: light of the end of the tunnel, because all I
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: see in our future is a sprinter van full of
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: children go into baseball games, soccer games, piano recitals. Like
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: we're not going to just be like back to you
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: and me, like life is great now our kids are
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: a little bit older, Like it's a full long term
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: responsibility to take care of these children, and so I think,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think maybe it changes in certain ways
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: because maybe it's not as physically demanding of you. You know.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I feel like, actually, like babies are so physically demanding
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: of their mother's right, I'm thinking, Yeah, there's that, and
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: there's the phase where it's like all they want is you.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: He's great wan Jared when like he closes the door
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: and he's with Jared, but like if he has both
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: of us in front of him, he's going to reach
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: over to me. I think the thing that Tanner might
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: be alluding to is like communication. It's like, okay, they
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: they all know how to talk to us, and that
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: feels like a big leap, But they also all know
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: how to talk to us Ben, It's like, okay, So
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: when am like, like, should I have kids, That's what
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Ben's probably thinking. It's a yeah, it's a question I
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: have often, Jade, as you're talking there um and kind
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: of explaining the light at the end of the tunnel,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: a question pot in mind that I'm just curious about
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: and it could be very inappropriate, but I hope you
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: know where I'm trying to go with it. Uh, you
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: mentioned that last year you did a lot of like
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: growth yourself and that you I think what you said
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: was like kind of an identity crisis. I think that's
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: how you explained it, which Ashley and I both talked
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: about many times on the show before. How you know,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you blink and you're having to
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: switch you know, your career or how people view you,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: or how little they think of you or how much
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: they think of you. Like those things happen, especially coming
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: off of reality television, where that happens so fast and
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: you kind of, you know, blow up, and then you
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: kind of blow out pretty quickly too. It seems like, um,
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: you know I I also have been open about my
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: identity crisis getting married, even you know, I've been known
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: as the single guy for so long that was kind
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: of like what I got paid to do. Uh, it
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: was how people viewed me the bachelor. And so then
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I was getting married and very excited to get married
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: and very ready to get married, but also be like,
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: what is life going to look like now that I'm married,
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Like I'm no longer ever going to be single again?
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: God willing uh so for as a mother when I'm
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: going here is as a mother? Has it been an
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: identity crisis? Do you ever find yourself waking up one
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: morning and being like, wow, seven years ago I was
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: on national television as a single person with all opportunities
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: in front of me in the world, and now I'm
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: a mom and that takes a lot out of me
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: and they need me often and I am there to
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: care for them. Does that ever hit you? Does it
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: ever like kind of shock you? Because I feel like
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: it's mostly asking. I feel like it's really gonna shock
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: me when you become a parent. Yeah, it is. It's
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: such a right of passage that we go through, you know,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: like it is you, you're one person, and then as
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: soon as the baby is born, you have completely transformed
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: over to a new role that you have forever. So
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: I think it's like the heaviness of its too, and
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: it is it's you are responsible for someone else's well being,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: someone else's safety, someone else's you know, feeling of being
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: loved and growing up and so it's like it's it's
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: it isn't it's this whole new identity that you take
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: on and you aren't the same person, Like I will
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: never go back to that person, right, that I was
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: seven years ago before my daughter was born. Um, there's
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: still pieces of that person in me, but I am
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: I feel like I have transformed. I always talk about
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: if I look at my life, all the people who
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I've been and who I've died and been reborn into.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: And I really do believe you get reborn with your baby,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: and so it it's it's it's hard because you kind
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: of grieve that person you were before, but yet you're
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: looking at this baby that's just like magic, you know,
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: and so it's it's a wonderful transformation. But I think
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: it's kind of normal to grieve some of the past
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: of who you were, because we do kind of as humans,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: ground ourselves into an identity, right, So I think that's
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: hard for me. Is what I went through last year
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: was just struggling with my purpose and so much of
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: my Instagram and like my job was taking was like
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: sharing about being pregnant and having a baby and what
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: it's like to be a new mom, and I am
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: growing out of that. So I was kind of struggling
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: and like, well, what's my purpose now? Like why are
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: people wanting to connect with me? And I think that
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: that was kind of like what I went through last
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: year speaking of Instagram business and the strategy that Tanner
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: happens to sort of have in like every aspect of
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: his life. You guys are kind of well known as
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: being one of the bachelor couples that really have dominated
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: the Instagram um like influencers. You know, Like when you
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: think of bachelor influencers, I think you guys really come
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: to mind. I think it's probably because you guys are
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: a successful couple right off the bat, and like you
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: got married so quickly, you know, because like I think
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: that with the leads, of course, the leads are going
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: to get lots of followers, but you guys were non
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: leads and you've got lots of followers, and then you
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: had a baby and like everything and it just kept
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: staying really interesting. What kind of strategy? And you guys
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: have been insanely successful with it? Um? Did Tanner have
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: a plan right off the bat when he saw these
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: followers keep ticking up? Like he would, I know, you
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: would get in trouble for this on the show today? Um,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: you know when he had no idea, Like he went
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: back to his card dealership job right right after the show.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: He he went on the show just because he was
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: curious about it was like to be on reality TV
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: because he was such a super fan of reality TV. UM.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: And then once we got followers and we got our
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: first sponsorship, he was like, you can make what on
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: just by posting a picture on an app Like he
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: didn't even he didn't even have Instagram I think at
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: the time, and so we he downloaded Instagram. I guess
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: right before the show, right, I guess that's when he
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: downloaded it. Um. But we were just we were able
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: to tap in at the right time. I think timing
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: was truly everything for what created our success, because like
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Instagram had just become a thing, people were getting lots
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: of followers. I think Crystal season truly was like the
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: first you know where people blew up. I don't think
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Handy season, no, No, there is a huge difference in
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: these seasons, and so he was definitely like, we have
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: to take advantage of those, you know, and we did.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: We went full force, like threw ourselves into it. So
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: he was working sixty hours a week at the dealership
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: and then on Sundays we would film all of our ads. UM.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: But I mean his strategy was always, you know, go
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: until it burns out. But what's funny is he pretty
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: much like he announced like Instagram retirement, but he did
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: he announced to you Instagram retirement. Yeah, I mean he
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: doesn't post anymore. What would Tanner say if you wanted
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: to retire from Instagram? Would he be cool with that? Oh?
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: I joke all the time. I'm like, well, I'm retiring too,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: and you're not. Well, he goes, well, then we just
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: have to move out to California. So okay, So that
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: was my next question. You're both still in California. Um,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: what part of California. We're in Orange County. We're like
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: it's called Trabuco Canyon. It's right up against um, the
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Santa Ana Mountains. It's really pretty. Okay. Has that been
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: a big change for you all? I mean, because you're
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: both Midwesterners? Right yeah? Um, definitely more for him. So
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: I lived in l A for like four years before
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: I went on The Bachelor. So I was living in
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: l A when I went on the show. Um, but
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: he grew up in Kansas City. He like live there
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: his whole life, Like all of his friends are still
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: from elementary and middle school. And so when we moved
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: out here, I think he uh, he had a hard transition,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: like a hard time adjusting because he didn't have any
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: friends here and so except for me and Jared, Yeah,
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: it's in the new move and then we moved. Yes,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: so yeah, I think it definitely was harder for for him. Um, hey, Jed,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: we're gonna take a break here. When we come back,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: I want to ask you if it's appropriate for me
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: to talk to you. I know you did during um
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: a couple of other shows about sex in marriage. Is
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: that okay? Yeah, let's talk about when we come back
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: and we're back, and I can't wait for Ben to
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: ask this question because Ben doesn't really talk about this
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: a lot. I don't, well I don't, nor do I. Um,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: you know the uh, Jade, you you have been um
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: now married for seven years. You do have three kids,
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: as we've talked about. I think it is such a
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: incredible thing when couples, especially married couples who have been
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: in it for a while, continue to share, you know,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: how they keep the intimacy alive because, uh, if it's
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: not finance, it's you know, the physical connection that oftentimes
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: moves couples apart. And we just spent the first half
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: of this podcast talking about how kids can so quickly
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: or life can so quickly start to make you guys
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: ships in the night. As Ashley said, yeah, I mean
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: I've been vocal about this publicly before, but and I
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: know some people disagree with it, but it's just the
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: way that our relationship works is we we schedule sex.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: It's something that is hard to have spontaneous. Just like
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna look at my husband and be like i
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: wanna jump his bones right now. That doesn't happen any
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: It doesn't happen. No, like not at all. Sorry, Ben,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know. We we can't speak for jess but
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: I would say that is very similar to Jade. I
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: will maybe we don't discuss it, but I will plan
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: it in my head. Oh. We we definitely have a Yeah,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: she as a schedule. You have a schedule. Okay, technically
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: it's flexible, like it's not like if I if I'm
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: sick or something or yeah, um well, I mean you
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: know obviously, like my relationship is a little different like Jessica. Uh,
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: and I like stayed absinent through our whole dating for
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: I mean three years, right, and so when we got married,
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: that was a whole new chapter for us and a
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: whole new thing for us to look forward to. And um,
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: but you're still, I think very quickly into that stage
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: where you are, you're with one person, you're trying to
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: figure each other out. Um, And so how you know
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: the scheduling I guess my concern there My question would
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: be does it keep things interesting? Like is there spontaneity
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: still to the relationship or uh? And do you feel
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: like you get um out of those scheduled evenings what
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: you need for intimacy and for connection? Yeah, I mean
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: the scheduling doesn't have to be just like seven o'clock
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: at night, eight minutes long, missionary boom or done. You know,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: honestly here, I'm glad we need it and this is healthy.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: I mean it doesn't yeah, I mean it doesn't it
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: can you know? You can still in that time try
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: to just I call it like my mom had I
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: wear my mom hat all day. Take the mom hat off,
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: which is really hard. But be in the moment, be
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: in my body, be thinking about my husband, our connection,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: you know, and and just making the most of it
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: because it is we do it once a week and
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: so it's like that one time, once a week I
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: know that he looks forward to, so I might as
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: well just like show him that, Like, you know, even
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: if like fives before, I'm like, oh my god, do
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: I really have to go do this right now? You know,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: I still want to show him that, Like I am
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: putting forth effort into our marriage because I think it's
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: worth it and we always end up having a great
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: time anyway. So do you do you have any advice?
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's what you and Tanna have been able
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: to figure out, uh and and that works for the
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: two of you overall, Like holistically, do you have any
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: advice for couples who are sitting there, you know, one year,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: in ten years, in fifteen years in still trying to
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: keep that spark alive. I think just which is hard
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: is it's just the communication, and I think it's we've
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: really worked on that too. It's so vulnerable to sit
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: down and talk about sex right like this makes me
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: feel wanted. This makes me feel completely unwanted when you
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: do this like this, When when I want to touch
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: you like this and I feel like you're shut shivering
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: or shuttering me or whatever you know that makes me
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: feel this way, or I like when you do this
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: this makes me feel turned on or whatever. It's it's
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: hard to work and it's sometimes canna be exhausting, but
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: I really think it's worth the effort. And I think
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: there's so many more ways to be intimate that's not
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: sexual that makes the sexual intimacy better. And I think
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: that's just finding out what else intimacy means to you
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: to me, like having like meaningful conversations that aren't about
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: our children and just like my dreams or you know,
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: like something about like did you ever know this about me?
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Or or something like. Um. The other day, I was
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: talking to Tanner about something. Oh, I've been taking this
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: supplement that's that's been stopping nightmares that I've been having
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: because I've been having nightmares every night for like the
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: past like ten months. And he's like, you never told
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: me you were having nightmares every night, and I was like,
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess I didn't think about that,
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: And so we started talking about it, and I felt
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: so much closer to him, which just makes me feel
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: closer to him when it comes to like his needs.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: So I think it's just finding what the other intimate
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: parts are, even if it's just like soft touches like
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: I like. I like hugs. You know, I want you
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: to hug me, and it doesn't feel sexual. I want
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: to feel like that, that that closeness, that connection. I
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: think it all kind of like ties in together. It's
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: interesting that you say that, because you know, when I'm
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: upset or stressed out, I've had a long day at work,
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: or something's happened in my life and I'm just feeling down, Um,
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: when Jessica reaches over and rubs my back without me asking,
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: but just like knowing, that's like what I need, Like
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I feel that same closeness to her. Then then I
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: do no you know, any other time in our life
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: like there are and that's like for me kind of
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: the surprise and also a really exciting thing about marriage
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: is you have your partner now, they get to know
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: you really well, and when they do something to bring
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: like to support you, or to bring you closer to them,
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: and hopefully you're doing something to bring them closer to you.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: It can be done in so many different ways now,
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: which for me has been really fun to figure out. Um,
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: and she's doing such a good job at it, I'd
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: have to ask her if I'm doing a good job
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: at it. Yeah, I mean that's super sweet. Yeah, I
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: would love to kind of close this whole thing out
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: with talking about what's next in your life, Like what
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: are you now looking forward to? What did you learn
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: last year? As you said, you went through this kind
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: of um growing process. Not that you're stopped growing now
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: you're still growing, but what what is next for you?
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: What what is on the horizon. Yeah, I think that's
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: what's exciting about life still Sometimes when I feel like
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: maybe I'm stuck, like last year I felt like I
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: was creatively stuck. Is that you can always change and
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: evolve and grow and become who you want to become.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: And so I think it's it's just for myself personally,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I'm just searching for, like what's my next purpose? And
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: I like, I love being a mom and I know
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: that's like one of my deeply rooted purposes. But I
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: also just I want something that makes me feel like
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: I'm making a difference. And so and Instagram, I've always
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: felt like that was like for work, like I could
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: make a difference by sharing like my raw parts of motherhood. Um,
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: but I feel like I'm moving on to another chapter
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: and I just don't know what that is. Yet you're
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: so wonderful in that space, um, whether it's talking about
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: motherhood or kids, and I know that you just love
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: like you are a special person. You like love the
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: birthing process like you find beauty in it. And I
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: was like, can we skip this part of my life?
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: And honestly wasn't bad. But you thought about like being
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: a doula or something like that. Is that still on
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: the goals list? I have no idea. I really don't,
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: And I think that's maybe like i feel kind of
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: like floating, falling ish, like I'm just trying to figure
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: out what it is and maybe a sign will smack
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: me in the face or maybe I'm still just gonna
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: take a while to figure it out. I think this year,
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: I really I feel like I've missed out, like putting
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: so much of myself into my kids. I've missed out
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: on like friendships, and I'm really craving like soulful sisterhood.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: I've never had a sister, and I always wanted a sister,
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: and so I think, like I'm just I don't know.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: I want to just cultivate good women around me that
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: support me. I feel like that's what I'm kind of
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: looking for right now, I don't know, but like other
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: life parts of my life, I don't know. I don't
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: know what's happening. It's no, I mean, it's it's interesting.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: There was a period of my life and then still
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: probably to this day, if you ask me this, um,
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: somebody will you know, always ask like what are you
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: up to? What's next? Kind of like I just asked
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: you and there would just be this like gut this
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: like gut like punch almost in me. It's not as
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: much anymore, but there was a season where, um, I
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: got really low and every time somebody asked me that,
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: I just pretty much like caved, like my my shoulder shrank.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: I felt like something in out of me was empty
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: because I didn't know um, and it made me feel
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: really bad about myself. It made me question, you know,
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: who I was, and I'm wanting I just wonder if
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: that is a something that comes from like kind of
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: this like weird season of life where it lasts for
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: who knows how long were you? Kind of stuff is
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: handed to you. I mean, it's very easy for a while,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: right to have a career and you still have to
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: work at it. But like stuff just kind of gets
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: handed to you for a while and everybody wants to
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: pay to see you, and you can kind of like
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: you know, get any opportunity you want for a period
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: of time, and that goes away and you have to
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: start looking at like what was all this for? Like
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: what was all what does all this mean? What did
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: I just do? And for me that really it put
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: me in a deep place, like a dark place for
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: a while. Um. You know, I don't know if I'm
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: still there or not. I don't get asked as much
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: what are you gonna do next? Because I told so
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: many people I don't know, um, so maybe they gave up.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: But it is, it's it's it's an interesting time. But
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of healing too. There's an I just
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: want to share this. During that period of my life,
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I started to talk about purpose, like what was all
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: this for? What did allays do? What can I do
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: with any of it? And a really wise person told
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: me some advice. He said, well, what angers you the most,
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: or what's on your mind the most? Maybe what fires
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: you have to talk about? Maybe it is like childbirth.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Maybe like when you somebody ask you about hey, tell
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: me more about childbirth, Like you know, you just spew
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: like you know, all this information and all this passion
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: behind it, and then they said, Okay. For me personally,
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: my purpose came from a thing that made me angry, poverty,
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: um and lack of things for people in this world.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: But you're steak in the ground and either join something
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: or start something that's helping work towards the topic that
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: you really care about, and you're and for a period
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: of your life, maybe not forever, but your purpose will
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: be in that and it kind of has worked. Um
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: is a really healthy process for me to kind of
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: do that and put my stake in the ground and say, no,
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: this is what this chapter of life is gonna look
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: like for me. It's no longer about me being relevant.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: It's about whatever I can do with this platform. And
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: that's been handed to me. But I just share that
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: because that was not coming. That sound advice I am
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: giving here, that's advice that was given to me. No.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: I like it though, because it makes me think of like,
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: what what does anger me? You know, like what I
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: would want to see changed in the world, which does
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: have a lot to do around birth because the United
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: States has one of the highest mortality rates for mothers,
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: and so that's something I would love to advocate for.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: So it is something that like I do see like
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: what you're saying. And maybe it's just I haven't given
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: given myself permission to like say that, maybe this is
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: more of my life perfect purpose, because now that I'm
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: growing out of that, I feel like, oh, I can't
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: keep talking about babies over and over and over. I don't.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: I don't have babies anymore. But maybe it's like if
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: I find the right avenue to do that. You know,
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: I've always called you mother Nature, so it really does
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: fit for you, and I thought you were mother Nature
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: even before you had a baby. I will always remember
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: sitting in St. Lucia this you have been married for
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: six months and you're talking about how you wanted a
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: baby and Tanner was like, I don't know, And this
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: is six months before you got pregnant, and you were like, Tanner,
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: I just want something to nurture. And I was like, wow,
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: she's so amazing and special. That's so cute. But but
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: I just want to say I think that people don't
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: like that. I hate that question. I don't think it's
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: you or I think it's an overall hatred towards the
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: what's next question, because then it kind of makes you
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: feel like what you're doing now isn't enough, or that
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: I have to have something next. Yeah, Like what if
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: you're so happy with where you're at very content? I
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: told you, Like where I'm at right now is I'm
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: happily content, Like I'm really good, Like I don't want
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: a lot to change right now. I'm kind of just
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: in this like really fun season of marriage and life
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: and slowness. And I don't know, happily content. And I
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: said that to somebody, um recently, They're like, I've never
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: heard anybody say happily contemned. They were seen those two
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: things together. Like, I don't know how I feel. I
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: don't know if I want something next right now. I
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: love that. I feel like I feel like that's something
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: we all crave but can never give ourselves because of
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: society and how we ma we value success, we value productivity,
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: Like you can't just rest and enjoy your life and
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: enjoy the now, like you have to be constantly doing something.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: So I definitely agree with that. Like that just sounds
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: sounds Did you say that? It sounds really nice? Yeah,
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: I have such an issue with that that constant productivity
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: feel like even well, I don't have days off anymore
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: to just watch TV for like seven hours. It's probably
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: what I miss most about motherhood is just waking up
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: in the morning and you know what, like, you know what,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to binge watch an entire show, Like
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: I've not been able to that if I want to
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: do that after like start nine pm. Anyway, Um, where
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: was it going with that? Oh? Yeah, because I used
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: to feel like I just need to to constantly be productive.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: Like every time I was like, oh I can relax,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, no, you shouldn't relax. Why should you relax.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: You should get this done and that done. Like you,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: they're on the horizon, but as mine as well. Tackle
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: them now. It's a problem and it's definitely been drilled
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: into us by society because wearing dizziness is like a
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: badge of honor, and I think people who are who
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: have any sort of platform on social media because if
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: you're not posting, then you're not being seen and that's
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: your whole job, you know. Curse those who aren't relevant, right,
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: Curse some terrible people if you don't stay your elevant
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: um Jade final question that I have for you. You know,
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: since your time really on The Bachelor, you have, UM,
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: either purposefully or just because of who you are and
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: how life has worked out for you've made an impact
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: a lot of people's lives, and you made people feel
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: less alone and more seen and more cared for. UM.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: I think that's a spectacle, your gift and something to celebrate.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: And maybe the only unsolicited advice I would give is
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: maybe sit on how big of an impact you've made
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: and so many people who are probably feeling alone or
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: you're gonna make me cry, Well, that's true, UM, and
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: you deserve to sit and celebrate that and see and
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: and just remember. But UM, you've also made continue to
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: make a big impact with those who are mothers, new mothers, um,
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: as we've talked about so much here during this episode.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: My last question for you is what advice do you
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: have for somebody listening who is a mother to be,
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: somebody who wants kids on the you know, in the future,
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: already a mother. Do you have any overarching advice on motherhood? UM,
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: I think it's I mean, my top advice would be
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: to listen to your own intuition. We live in such
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: an age where there's just information overload, which I think
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: is great. You know, you can access every sort of
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: resource out there for every single topic imaginable when it
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: comes to trying to conceive pregnancy, birth, postpartum, motherhood, and
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: and so everything's at your fingertips. But I really think
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: it comes down to you have everything already inside of
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: you that like the toolbox that you need to be
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: the best mom for your baby. And I think that's
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: like the most important thing to remember because there will
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: be so many people telling you what to do, there
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: will be so many people judging you, there will be
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: so many like people, This needs to happen this way, now,
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: this needs to happen that way. And so I think
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: just like being even if you feel like you don't
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: know what you're doing, you know, you're like holding your
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: baby and you're like, I have no idea what I'm
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: doing right now, just know that like being there right
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: then and there is enough. M hm. You truly are
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: an inspiration of motherhood. Um. I know that we've talked
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: a lot about motherhood, but seriously, you are the person
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: that I think of when I think of it, and
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: you're the person that I go to when I have
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: questions about it or just need to honestly bent about it.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: So thank you for being you. Yeah. When I think
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: of Jade, I just think of her walking down to
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: the beach in Paradise and all the guys being like
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: her her. I want her, That's what I think about.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: Somehow Tanner, somehow, Tanner landed it the upset of the year. Yeah,
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: it was talked about for decades. Jane, thanks for joining
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: us today. Uh, it's always great to catch up with you. Uh.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: If you don't mind, please come back and break down
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: an episode of the Bachelor with us. It'd be a
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: lot of fun. I would love to. I'm sure Tanner
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: would give some great takes too. If you ever want
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: both of you together, Yes, I would love to have
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: Tanner on so he can say the that we can't. Yeah,
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: let him get in trouble for one, so they're awesome. Jade,
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: come back soon. I can't wait to talk to you
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: um about the show. Thanks for joining us today. Than
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: bye bye. Followed the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: podcast on I Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.