Latest / The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast / Episode 113: Tokyo Drift

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Episode 113: Tokyo Drift · The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I just finished listening to the latest Dom and Jerry show,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: where they mock about with some new technology that allows
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: you to change your voice. I said, I'd given a
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: go myself. Let's see how it works. Oh good, heavens,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: it certainly seems to be working. But one doesn't quite
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: have the time to be trifling on such trivial things.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: One has a great, big, bloody chimney that one must
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: not to the ground before enjoying a refreshing pint of bitter. Now,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: let me just turn off this infernal machine. All that's better.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I'll see they.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Canishua, Hi, Jerry.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: Hello Tom. That's the old fashion. We were translating her
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: here and.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: There, No I did. I don't want to press it, Hi, everybody,
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I don't want to press it. There's a new option
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: after popping up on this lesson. It's voice translator. I
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: have a funny feel it'll know we're taking the pace
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: out of it, do you know, Because I won't sound
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: even though I'm very good at accents, I won't sound
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: like the zoom will got cut it out to fuck town?
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean? They'll go so what
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: you're telling me, And indeed the listeners of the Tom
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: and Jerry Show. Where are you all keeping? Is that
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: there's a button on your panel there that's voice translator.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: So you think that when you click that, you will
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: start talking and it will come through to me in
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: your chosen language.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: Hold on, I'll press it. Let's see what happened. We'll
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: tell me what language are okay? Me, I'm speaking. My
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: speaking language is English. What do you want? What do
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: you want? Japanese? Let's do Japanese.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Let's do Japanese. Okay as well, let's do japan early
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: in the show.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: But I'm hi injur I canna there you go. I'm
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: glad you enjoyed that. A little translation there, Jair, what so?
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Oh you're the Japanese show?
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Are you hearing me in Japanese? I don't like it? Tom,
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: this is thrilling radio for everyone.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: Where is this? Oh? This is incredible? Sounds like you
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: don't understand.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to say, where's the bottom? You guys?
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Stay nice? She got that.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: I need help, Tom Toms.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: Saturday Night by. You have to stop this. This is
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: too good. He actually, Tom, he actually he raised his
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: voice with you. Oh jeez, I just have to stop this.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: I have to have to stop this. Sorry, apologies, that
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: was two children at work there. Mother of God.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: Well, I gotta tell you.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: I swear to God, when you listen to that back,
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: You're gonna love you in Japanese.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: If that if that comes back across the podcast where
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: I'm speaking in Japanese to Tom, that's gonna be very funny.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: If it comes back on the podcast where I'm just
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: speaking English, Dorm's passing himself, that's something nobody else can hear.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: That's gonna also be hilarious.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm the only one getting this joke.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: I don't know how the recording of this is going
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: to see. This is this is the thing we do.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: That's we We just run with it. We didn't. I
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: literally found that beforehand, or mother, that was exciting. I
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: I do you know what, I do feel embarrassed sometimes
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: because I just literally came off the phone just before
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: this with my brother in law who lives in Central
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Europe and he speaks five languages. Yes, now he lets
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: you know too. That's the that's the only thing. That's
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: the only thing like there. I'd love to know more languages.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: But at the same time, I think it's almost like
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: the vegan effect, you know, the kind of way they'll
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: fuck can let you know like I was at I
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: told you as I tell you I was. I was
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: sitting beside the table full of Grailgoorers the other night
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: in the restaurant, and they all spoke Irish and heavily,
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: and they wouldn't even back it up for the girl
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: taking their order. Do you know she's taking an order
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: sixteen people and you're like, oh Jesus Christ, be me
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: and my gas.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: I love, I love Irish and I love people that
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: can speak it.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: But lads, you can wind it in. But we get it.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: We get we get it. You're better than us, we
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: get it, we get it.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: We're trash people.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: What can we get?
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: We're absolutely trash. Maybe maybe the young lassie that's taking
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: your order, tell her that you want chicken and chips.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: Tell her you want wings as a starter.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: In English, please.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: Love the Hiking, Love Shaking play.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Do you speak any other languages?
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: I know of other languages, only the love language. I
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: speak the language of podcasts and baby, oh wow, speaking
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: of which we we should probably start doing a bit
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: of podcast I mean, like, oh, you know, I love Gragnda,
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: but we've been talking more in Japanese and Irish than
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: anything else before we got into the show. And we've
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: got a fairly big week to get into.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: So what do you think will we busted into it?
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, let's get into it. YEA, let's do it, buddy,
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: let's get it. Get into it with a weekly what
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: have you. This is a very complicated case, mad, you know,
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: a lot of ian's, a lot of outs, a lot
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: of what have you, and a lot of strands to
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: keep in my head.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: Man, oh for fox, excuse it? Like we tried to
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: steer away from these scenarios. Do you know?
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: We don't like talking about the same thing over and
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: over again? And if people listening to the Tom and
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: Jerry Show down through the years and we thank them,
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: they'll know we like to talk about a couple of things.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: We like to talk about robots. We like to talk
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: the cars. I'd like to talk about robots again after
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: a little while. And every now and then we will
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: come all the way round to the sea and how
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: we do not like the sea, and how, in the
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: immortal words of Tom o'manny almost ten years ago, when
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: it comes to the sea, fill.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: It into fuck. I got somebody very irate by saying
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: that the other day they'd hurt it on the podcast,
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: and they weren't fully sure of the context. They didn't
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: know the long back story. They were like, what do
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: you mean filling into fuck? I was like, filling into
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: fuck begun, But there is no long backstory. Tom.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: We were we were sitting looking out of the sea
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: and black rock. You pointed at the sea and said,
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: you see all that. You know what I do with it?
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah? But what I think the way they picked it
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: up was like, just like that mid mid sentence in
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: the mid podcast very recently where I said fill it
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: into fuck. This is a person who absolutely adoors driving
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: from inland Tipperary to the coast in traffic, in heat,
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: kids sweating ice cream, stucks in the back.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: They're in heat.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well they're in heat, send stuck all over every
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: fucking thing, only just to convince themselves and their neighbors
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: that they had a really good time. I had to
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: see you did, Yeah you did. Yeah. Yeah.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: Well listen, if you go down to the sea today,
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: you're in for a big fucking surprise. You go into
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: the Pacific Ocean. Every now and then, folks like I say,
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: it's just like our hatred of the sea is justified.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna read you a headline. I sent it to Tom,
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: and I just sent him the headline and said fill
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: it in to fuck and.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: For those and for those in the back. I'll repeat
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: it again if we goz on the back. Okay.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: A headline in Popular Mechanics dot com and in need
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: various other places. So we have verified this. Four black
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: eggs surfaced from the dark heart of the ocean with
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: alien creatures inside.
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: Oh, for folk's sake, listen, I'm gonna just say a
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: couple of things here.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: Tom, If you find a dark egg anywhere, leave it there.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, live it off, Live it off. It's a delicacy
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: in some areas, in some places, all right, jerdy to
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: talk about it, you know they lead they'll use squeez
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: ink or whatever, the dyeing egg. No, they found four
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: jet black egg glactless egg things stock to a rock
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: five thousand meters or five thousand met yeah, five thousand
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: and five fucking kilometers. What are you doing down there?
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: What are you going five kilometers?
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: Are looking for?
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: What are you looking for? What are you hoping to find?
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Because you go down there and you'll dispel any fun
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: myths like you found Atlantis. You're just gonna and find
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: horrific things that are eventually going to end the planet.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: Do you know what that?
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: Do you know what? They always say, like they get
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: so they get so pleased with themselves.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: These marine biologists.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: They say, oh, actually, you know, we know more about
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: the surface of Mars than we do. And I'm like,
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: you know what, Lad's keep it that way.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because they found these a type of flatworm. They
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: call it a flat worm, which they say so strange.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: These guys normally live with much shallower waters. Yeah, did
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: they live inside black eggs stuck to sorry, a chunk
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: of wood that they found five kilometers down For the
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Americans in the audience, that's three point two kilometer or
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: miles down. Yeah, no business going down there. If delighted
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: that they found these things, let's bring I tell you
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: what we did, Let's bring them up. Let's bring them
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: up to the surface.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: It means not to nobody, but that's from my house
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: to the Blanche Center. Yeah.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: You wouldn't walk it, as you You wouldn't fucking walk it.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: I will say.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: Whoever it was the editor on that particular piece because
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: someone else did the same thing.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Alien species inside.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: They had the there's a bit of the sequesce DSV
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: about the whole thing. They're they're Babylon five people with
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: alien creatures inside. What they mean to say is that
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: the creatures are not known to live in that particular habitat.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: They are alien to the area, Yes they are not.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: What we would know is being extra terrestrials.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Like if you find Jerry in Johannesburg exactly, but and
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: he's going around going hey, you actually you know, like
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: something would be.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: Up, but it SNDS like Sting in New York.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: In the same sense, I'd be fairly suspicious of a
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: kind of a German Bridefelw I'd meet in Johannesburg two though,
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: and he'd be.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: Fairly suspicious about any fucking egg that's five mile down
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: down down in the ocean.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Tom.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: To be honest with you, leave it there. God don't
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: want you down there. Yeah, leave it be.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Now, can I describe what Tokyo University of It's the
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Hockey Idol University. This guy's on the filter again there
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: for I did so. This is I'm assuming he's a
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: doctor or maybe at this day's professor where you lose
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: your dr Oh, he's got a master in fucking go eggs. Yeah,
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: because his name is Kii Kayo call Kako, So I
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: mean ideal that, by the way, who co authored at
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: twenty twenty four stood about the discovery in the Journal for
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: Biology Lessons and IFL Science, which we've we've cited a
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: good few times. I FL Science, Yes, we haven't. He
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: I know, I'm I don't know. Should I bother down
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: the accent because it's so good and am I confused?
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: So let's just say it in my voice? Yeah, let's
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: not say we did. Okay, No, I'm not. I love
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: the Japanese accent.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: But the only love having a podcast. Tom look it.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: So he's out comes out comes, uh kaichi and he says,
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: under a sterry microsope, which is a right small one,
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: I caught one of them. Of course you did. Of
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: course you did. And hold on, hold on to your
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Prometheus fucking underpants here and milky liquid like thing leaked
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: from it. After blowing the milky thing with a pipet. Yeah,
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: I found fragile white body in the shell and first
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: realize that it was a cocoon of platty hell mints.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Now has anybody I ingested one of them?
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: And now the platty helmets are speaking to you through me? Yeah,
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: give me salt water.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: Now, look at. I don't like to get racial on
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: these things.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Right, but I don't like you getting rachel on them either.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: I love all things Japan, but I've seen enough Japanese movies.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: I e. Kaiju, fucking Pacific rim. You name the version
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: of Godzilla, I've seen it because a big Godzilla fan
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: this house. I'm telling you right now, one thing shit
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: goes down in the Pacific Ocean under the guidance are
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: the watch of the Japanese. Yes, then shit like if
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: those yokes are found between Wexford and Wales, I wouldn't
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: be stressed if it was you know, dat feed and
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Seamus on a combined fucking craft brought it up and
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: opened it up with aer let's have a look at.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: I just wouldn't be stressed. But whatever it is about
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: Japanese scientists going at alien life forms they found in
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: the Pacific Ocean, you know this story has been told before.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: Jar and not for nothing as well. If you're off
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: the coast of Bikini atoll or any of them places,
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Like there is not for nothing a little bit of
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: RADII active soup floating around in the water, So you.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: Know, SpongeBob is from there, for folk's sake.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: Like all you want to do is just like all
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: your man wanted to do was just like hiccup and
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: drop it on the ground and it just sort of
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: pissed everywhere, like the green stuff in the rock, and
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: it starts melting from the inside out.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: This is how pro media started. They all, yeah, climbs
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: in through your eye and then before you know it,
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: you've got, you know, an extra claw grown out where
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: your flute was, and now you're trying to kill the
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: rest of the lab. Yeah, like that's where it begins
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: and ends.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: Yeaps, this is just Resident Evil all over again.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, Resident Evil all over again. Suffered, sweet
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: suffern Jesus and delights with themselves.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: They are with They are delighted as as these men
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: of sayings always are. They are delighted with themselves. Do
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: you know who they are? They're like Miles Dice and
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: tapping away in his computer, going like I'm having a
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: fucking great time. We found a chip at work. It
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: was a little broken, but God damn it, we're bringing
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: it back to life. We're having a wonderful time. And
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: then all of a sudden he's making terminators and ruining
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: the world. That's what these lads are doing.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: Mm.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: So like deadly, we found like a We found it
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: like a little egg, not where it was supposed to be,
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: in a place that God did not intend us to go.
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: And then like twelve months later, Japan stomped on by
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: a cloverfield monster.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: Now this was another bit where it said unsure what
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: these eggs were University of Tokyo Marines or a searcher, yes,
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: and no Ricano who is at the controls of the
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: r V at the time, I guess, and you know
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: the deep sea machine claw machine to retrieve us the egg.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: She says. Although most of the eggs were torn and empty,
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: at least four of them remained intact, and Kano sent
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: these undisturbed specimens to a team of a verteber biologists.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: Grace okay, well, seen a movie before time. I know
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: what's about to happen here. The mother is going to
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: come to reclaim her children that you have stolen.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Exactly what the fuck.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: Do you not have?
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Netflix? In Japan. Clearly not they have Jesus Christ. Like
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: you've been making Godzilla movies since they looked shit, do
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Looked like a fella in
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: the paper Mashe outfit kicking over your cities and ripping
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: down your pilons back since the sixties. And you can't
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: see this how this one pans out Like if they found,
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: you know, a strange looking platypus, they found, if they
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: found a mammal of some sort, I go, all right,
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: but you found clearly something that comes from an egg.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Reptiles come from an egg, Dear Kaiju, come from eggs.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying, look.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: You know what doesn't come from eggs?
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Tom Koalas, Now you're talking, Yeah, now you're talking. I mean,
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: here we are thinking. The scariest thing on the planet
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: is the honey badger. Do you know what the honey
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: badger does? Mind his own fucking business, wandering around the place,
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: just eating snakes and stuff. These fucking bolloxes went fucking
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: three and a half miles under the ocean to go.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: Do you know what?
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: We need to give you one question, Tom, Let me
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: give you one question and then we'll move off this subject. Right,
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: So even all the way down to the bottom of
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: the bottom of the world to find weird eggs that
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: you didn't think would be there, and you brought them
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: back up you discovered it was a mysterious type of flatworm. Correct, wonderful.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: So fucking what what now? What are you going to
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: use that for? What's all that effort for. See, they're
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: not mad at you, buddy, I'm just mad.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: See I don't I don't want inhibiting. I'm not one
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: of these people that says, no inhibit all, you know,
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: creativity moving forward?
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: Are they are these cancer solving flatworms? Is this like
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: a massive leap forward or is it just one of
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: these ones where you're.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Like, hah, look at that this you see they do?
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: You know? This is now? This is if ever I
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: saw it, shovel and fucking light into dark corners. This
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: is the kind of stuff like getting the government contract
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: to keep lads busy. Do you know they used to
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: they like they land the gentry used to build a
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: folly every so often, you know, they build up a
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: fucking you know, an obelisk or whatever out in the
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: middle of killed there somewhere, some fielding. And it was
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: only just to keep the fucking grunt irish at work.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Just keep them fucking busy doing something to be at
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: That's all I'm seeing this ship now, they like they're
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: not bringing it back up going Finally we found the
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: holy grail of fucking you know, life extension.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: They didn't even they didn't even find something that we're
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: looking for. They just kind of were like, huh, they
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: were surprised. They were surprised as you me, to find
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: the fucking thing.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Do you know what these are? Now? These are the
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: middle aisle in little Morality, you go, they went down
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: there looking for I'm hoping they got funded to go
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: down there to look for something specific. Let's try and
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: find a new type of shark, some cool shit that
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: we can just just tell people about. Oh class, what's that?
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: It's an impact driver and a fucking black egg stuck
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: to a lump of wood five mile five kilometers down here.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Let's buy the impact. Oh fuck, you gotta buy the
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: battery as well. That let's just take the four eggs
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: there for not take the four eggs, and let's caut
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: them open and watch the milky fluid pour out, and
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: then some sort of tiny flatworms.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: Wiggle all over your fucking brilliant.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Your egg guard guard dish, and you know we'll do
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: We'll leave the fucking fridge unlocked that you put it in,
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: and then wander on out, so that the unwilling security
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: guard who's trying to chat up you want at the
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: front desk during the night shift, is sipping a something
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: coffee and as he does, and he's checking the bottom
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: of it, and he's gotten three aces a big fucking
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: alien tapeworm, fucking spike goes straight through the bottom of
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: the cup and up through his fucking head. And now
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: that thing takes the shape of him and walks out
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: and steals a motorbike.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just just just you know, and then give it
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: six months time. You know whose problem it is? Your mind?
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, as night follows day, as the night follows day,
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna get away from these fucking things.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Seric Can I can I close off with one thing
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: and that more? No one, No, it's quite simply my
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: my closing statement as always when it comes to these
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: kind of things. Oh yeah, oh yeah, you gotta, it's
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: gotta be said. But filling into fuck, fill it into fuck.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah. If we sold March, we have t shirts would
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: fill it into funck on it.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: We should totally do that. I bet a I could
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: probably do that for us right now, filling into.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: Fuck an artist.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: I suppose you know, I'd sooner pay an artist atually. Yeah,
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: it's sooner pay an artist to do. Yeah, we've got
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: any good artists out there?
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: I tell you right this minute time, we don't have
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: artists paying money between us.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: But I'll tell you what we do have.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: We have the next segment of the show where we
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: stopped talking about this ladd and those lads and the
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: other lads and talk about this lad.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: Now there's that guy and the high altitude.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: This lad and he had company.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: They hated hated a couple of prize ballockses here.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: Now, I am surprised that you did not like these people,
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: because you know, I would have thought that there's like
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: a level of daring do shall we say? But you're
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: not the daring do no?
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: But again tis like the fucking eggs of the ocean.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: What's the point of it?
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: All?
• 20:44
  Speaker 5: Right?
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: You know the people that filled the people in there
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: who were essentially they were talking about those two daredevil
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: climbers from last week in New York City up on
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: the Empire State Building. They pulled off a stunt, this couple,
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: where they climbed to the very top of the radio antenna,
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: the radio antennas I think thirteen hundred feet up in
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: the air and now we'll speaking feet because it's America,
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: and they do like you know, old fashioned measuring ship,
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: so they thirteen hundred feet. This this couple who are
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: who are?
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: As? They report every now and then in Ireland known
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: to the Guardy.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: They are known to the Guardian, but they're known to
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: everybody these foxtair when you're looking at you do you
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: might have known him? There? Angela Nicola and Ivan Good.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: This numb off right. They're not from Limerick. They're they're
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: they're of Russian origin, these two, and this is their ship.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: He's a trained like they're trained. They both are trained
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Russian circus artists and they've been doing this kind of
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: ship all over the world but with permission, right, So
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: this was kind of the thing before they.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: Were in the second Yeah, there was there was.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Like they had a show back, like there was a
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: show made and a documentary following them called Skywalker's a
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Love Story.
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: So these these are these are and a time oral
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: tradition of people that would just climb buildings. Tom, We've
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: all heard stories of the human spider and the fucking
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: the French.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the French guy tightrope walking between the two towers.
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: The twin towers A beg, pardon two towers is typing.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: He wasn't walking between barrad Or and sarah Man's gap.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: I'm above the ox. Oh that's both brilliant and fucking nerdy,
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: all at the same time that I'm kind of happy
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: and raging, And I totally get that he alienated of
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: our audience.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: But it.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: Was a Lord of the Rings reference there, that's listen.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Okay. So so so, these these people are known to
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: the authorities for this kind of ship, and in their
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: latest active daring, do they climbed up the Empire State Building?
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: I have questions?
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, fire away.
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: So I've been on top of I've been lucky enough
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: in my life to have been on top of the
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: Empire State Building.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: And they make.
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: It to the average person completely impossible to go any
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: further than the observation deck. Okay, so to get any
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: for it, like, you know, because you can't just be
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: fucking jumping off doing that ship. They circumvented all of
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: this to get past the observation deck up onto the
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: antenna and then climb up.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: The rest of it.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: Ah, they say they had no permission to do this.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: My spidy senses, tingling tom something tells me they had.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: Some little bit of a go ahead. They reckon well
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: and shake deal. Perhaps what security security services have? I
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: said that they reckon well, they saw the lock on
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: the one hundred and second floor was actually broken, but
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: they reckon They couldn't commit. They must have snuck in
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: at the end of the tour the night before, which
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: is where all good heightst movies, you know, which is
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: where all good heightst movies begin, Where you get in
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: the night before and you close it quietly behind you.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: So that's what they reckon they did. And then there's
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: a hatch then up on the one hundred and fourth floor,
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: and you can put at that stage is probably not
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: a ton scure at that point because you shouldn't have
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: gotten through the hundred and second So yeah, they reckon
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: they got in the night before. But I was thinking
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: the same thing because do you know what these do?
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: You know what they are there? And this is not
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: getting completely out the fense and closing it, closing the story.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: They were an unbelievable distraction for about about twelve or
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: thirteen hours on American TV. And I'm always suspicious because
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: American TV is crooked in every fucking direction. There's a
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: week there was a weird amount of Ah, sure, look
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: at do you know what I mean?
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: Do you think this was You think this was just
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: like key's key's being dangled in front of her face?
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: I think I think they don't distract a cat. I
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: think some Middle Eastern country had been fucking raised to
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: the ground Cromwellian style, only with fucking nukes, or there
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: was some new fucking scabby bill being passed. Do you
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: know what I mean?
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: Where that's miserable, They're going to steal the marrow out
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: of your bones. Mitch McConnell had collapsed on the floor
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: of the Senate. Yeah, carried out weekend at Bernie's style
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: and point the fucking camera somewhere else.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: They unfolded the banner at the top of this tarror
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: tom like. They didn't just go up and pass around above.
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: And it must be said that these are this is
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: a couple.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: It's a couple.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: They're married.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they are married and they're both of Russian descent,
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: which is kind of hilarious in one way by all
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: accounts that opened. I don't know what that open dialogue,
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: because it would seem two days later Trump and Putting
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: had a ninety minute call on the phone, So I
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: don't know. You'll see crazy bustards from since Petersburg, the
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: very good climbers and know, well, would you have to
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: do any better claimber? You know buildings like I do?
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: You know, it's it smells like the the the security firm.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: And this is what kind of throws me. I work
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: for a very big security firm in America and they
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: were they were called Pinkerton. They've been the old security
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: firm Pinkerton. But this security firm just gonna put it
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: out there. Their name is Doyle Security Services, which to
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: me sounds more like a security services that look after
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: building sites in bray. You know, now I'm not I'm
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: not undermining Doyle Security Services, but if I know, Paddy,
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: a few pounds, could you could turn on a plank?
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: We're we're thinking kind of like the fixes in a
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: little bit. The Pinkertons are a the agency that's hundreds
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: of years old.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: And I remember in the TV show Deadwood, the only
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: al Sweringen was afraid of was the Pinkerton's coming to
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: Deadwood and fucking kicking off Pinkerton's no mess around even
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: to this day. They unfolded the banner. They got to
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: the very tip top of the antenna, and the unfurled
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: banner that said, when the power of love beats the
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: love of power, the world will know peace. Yeah. Yeah,
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: it's nice rhymes, you know.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean here's the thing, as you know, don't
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: have to get too judge here, but like they climbed
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: up there, they're giving it all the big one, like
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: they love each other and all the rest of it.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: You put any other lens on that situation, and I'm
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: not getting into it right but people will know what
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about. But you put to any other lens
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: other than two. Yeah, no healthy at white attractive white
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: people on top of the Empire state.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: Banner.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, on furling a black banner with white writing like
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: my image media. I mean, you're just having a Toyota
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: high looks at the bottom of the this, you know
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: what I mean, That's all I'm saying, and called the
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: prayer have been played over every they would have been vaporized.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: They wouldn't even have to hit the ground. They would
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: be fucking vaporized.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: The snipers that are always on the rooftops of New
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: York buildings. As a matter of course. Yeah, now, time
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: I got a crackh on one thing, don't I don't
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: like to correct anybody, but I got to crack on
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: one thing. They are not a married couple, but they
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: will soon be because they got engaged, full, full throated
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: kneel down ring on the finger job while on the
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: antenna up the way. You're gonna tell me that's not
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: the case.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: It's not. I don't think it is the case. And
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: that's why I was playing you down the down, the down,
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: the down the avenue there, because did I not see
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: her with a ring on her finger? You did know?
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: They pulled up, they did the whole kneel down fucking thing.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: You know they would be mine? Ok?
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: Did the whole thing. But some news station had cornered
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: his out Ado who built libbins, and he went, yeah,
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: let's say be married years.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: This is just this is just fucking sneaky, fucking Russian bass.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: This is just an ol stunt. They got they got
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: married in see Petersburg years ago. This is just an
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: ould stunt to give him a chance. Cause here's the thing,
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: ger if anybody goes and watch the documentary on Netflix,
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: you'll find out they've been climbing the world's tallest buildings
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: for fucking years and they hadn't nailed the Empire State.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: And here's the thing as a couple of Russians, Jeno,
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying right now, it's red hot. It might
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: have sat too well. If the application went in to
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: climb the Empire State, they figured they probably would have
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: been shut down. And they come out the back end
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: of it, you're saying it was just pure love. It
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: was for love. We love you very very much. And
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: the judge turned around with you fucking coupled the scullywags.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: I tell you one thing now, I tell you one
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: thing though, only that.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: Was amazing that they were just like, yeah, mad.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: About the two after that, now that your two gas fuckers,
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: look at you broke the lock, you know, breaking an entry.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: It was burglary, and you do a.
• 30:40
  Speaker 5: Few pounds and you after pulling off one of the
• 30:42
  Speaker 5: most disgraceful safety fucking violations, in New York City in
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: the last couple of years, and you did accost the
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: city probably a few million in in in helicopters, in disruption,
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: having to shut down streets never around the place.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, which you know what we'll do. We we would
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: put you on supervised release there for a couple of weeks, LEDs.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: And I'll tell you something, the fucking very best to
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: look at you and hey, I have a hat if
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: you're looking to send out the invite. I'm just saying,
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: you know, and I could.
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: It's amazing because the only parallel I have to it
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: is like you know, when you see these these lads
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: for Fathers for Justice climb up onto the fountain and
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: Trafalgar Square, I'm in a half an air their taser
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: debates and pulled off into a wagon with getting the
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: ship swamped out of themselves.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Yea.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: And they get stressed up as because they want to
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: see the kids three days a week again, get up
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: and fucking do whatever they want. Yeah, we we we
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: We like a scofflaw on the Tom and Jerry Show.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: We like this lad generally every now and then something
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: just smells a little bit.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: Of it, does Yeah, that's where I'm at on that one.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: I I'm glad, I'm glad you picked it, but we
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: couldn't and we could not talk about it because it
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: was such a big story or whatever. But the reading
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: of it at no point was anybody halfway suspicious, and
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: it just read plainly as this is what they got,
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: this is what they did, and this is why they
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: did it. There was no like deep journalism went these
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: two cons after costing the city millions, because to fart
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: on a street in New York, you'd be guaranteed they've
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: stopped traffic and everything around the building, like oh yeah,
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: and you know, like that's Fifth Avenue it's on, isn't it.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: If I'm remember, yeah, it's near to all of historia,
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Like it's like it is the street in New York
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: because main Street, do you know, like it is I'm
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: guessing Amaze is like this, it's main Street.
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: Shut that down. Even if it's like the even if
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: it's the building that has like the the Staples copy
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: place in it. You can't climb up on the roof
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: of that either, No.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: And you can't because and not that not that they
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: get like overly give a rattling fuck about you that's
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: your own business. But it's what you It's not that
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: you're up there, it's when you're not up there, it's
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: and you've hit the deck. And who you fucking take
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: with you? Do you know you're gonna you know, it's
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: going to take a bus of orphans with you.
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: You're going to take card out?
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like, and there's two two little fucking absolute minds
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: falling out of the sky. So you guaranteed for a
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: few hours. But I shut the street down, divert traffic,
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: and that doesn't cost the tens of thousands. And when
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: you're in a city like New York, that costs millions
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: because they'll be business is putting in for loss of earnings.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: Like if you have the Apple store and now all
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: of a sudden, nobody's allowed to pass the front door
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: of the Apple store for four.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: Hours, somebody's got to pay for that time.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: Somebody's paying for that, I can promise.
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, listen, I'm going to tell you what we're
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: going to do. Tom We're gonna motor on with the
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: last segment of the show, which also involves a highly
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: expensive wedding ring adjacent event in New York City. This week,
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: it got us thinking, and it got us reminiscent with
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: the final segment of the show we call We Remember
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: When when I was a young lad twenty or thirty
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: or forty years ago. Tom. Of course. The other event
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: was Taylor Swift's wedding in Madison Square Garden, like not
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: near Madison Square Garden. They rented out the entire freaking
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: building and filled it with a thousand guests, which I
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: gotta tell you, I don't know them all by name,
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: but of the thousand of them, I'd say about nine hundreds.
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: And they completely shut down the whole town in New
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: York just for their own little weddings and muzzletob may
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: a thousand blossoms bloom. I'm happy for the blushing bride
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: and groom. Wonderful she is she.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: To become Taylor Kelson. Now is it Kelso or Kelsey
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: Kelsey football? He is Travis Kelcey Kelsey Kelcey. Correct us
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: in the comments. He's doesn't seem he seems to have
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: taken one too many blows to the head, but he
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: definitely landed on his feet here or marry.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: He did all right there? Yeah, He's famously elusive and
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: hard to pin down.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: Taylor Swift. Well, if you're to listen to our songs,
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: you'd be suspicious every time you fucking turned on the
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: radio if you're the husband, like a here.
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: What that's not about me? Is about me?
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: How many fellows has she been with before me? Christ Above?
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: Every song is a sad story.
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: Got to get a ring on this quick here. So
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: they got married, well done. We didn't find a home
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: for them, Tom, in any of our segments, this lad,
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: those lads, the other lads, but the weddins did pique
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: our interest for the We remember whens because, like we
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: say in the Tom and Jerry Show, we ain't fucking
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: spring chickens.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: Baby.
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: We've been around for a combined eighty to ninety years
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: on this rock, and in our time there, we've seen
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: a lot of things change. And one of the things
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: that has changed down through the years to Tom is weddings,
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: from the first wedding I was at in the eighties
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: all the way up to today, including not for nothing,
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: my own Tom. I've been at a couple of weddings
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: and I've got a few thoughts. But you tell me
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: you haven't been at that many.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: I haven't. I actually have. I'm the weird one, like
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: the amount of times like I'll go every time, every
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: time I go into my barbering care Keelan, he's off
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: to adding another ages another. He's probably early mid mid
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: to early thirties, maybe to like thirty four. I'm guessing right, Well,
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: it's around that. Yeah, that's that, isn't it.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: I'm going to tell you the evolution of weddings now
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: as as a as a as a as an Irish person,
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: I want to say, like when you're young, when you're
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: like under ten, you're probably not going to be invited
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: to that many of them because you know, no kids allowed,
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: you're too small for a babysitter or whatever it is,
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: and all your relatives are gone to it. So you're
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: either left at home with some baby you know, some
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: distant cousin or some such, or you just knock gone
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: to it. And usually that this wedding will be the
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: last of your answer uncles to get married, whatever it
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: might be. You get into your teenage years, maybe some
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: of your older cousins will start getting married, or some
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: neighbors or some such, and you get to a couple
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: of weddings here and there. At these weddings, tom if
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: I am any example of it. One of your cousins
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: will give you a pint too many, and you won't
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: refuse any of them, and you'll get fucking way too
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: drunk and way too young of an age, and end
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: up recounting the story on a podcast in a segment
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: called My drunk is Dever. Into your twenties and your
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: thirties is where your barber is right now, It's where
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: all your pals from school, and indeed all your missusses
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: pals all start to marry off.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: And you're going to go through a.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: Fairly cash intensive six to eight years where you have
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: multiple fucking weddings left and right and center. And then
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: you age up into where we are now, Tom in
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: our forties, in our forty forty five, your own wedding
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: has come and gone, and now it's slowed down. Maybe
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: there's a younger cousin or two late in life baby
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: Tom that's grown up and now they are getting married.
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: Maybe there's a neighbor, maybe there's a coworker, something like that.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: But the weddings will slow to a hault for us,
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: and then it'll kick off again with our own kids
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: somebody down the line.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you really I can see nephews and nieces coming
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: all right, starting to come through for me. When it
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: was in any time I got I was at a wedding,
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: it was never a cousin lash and it would seemed
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: to be some uncle home from England or America or something. Yes,
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: bosting auto credit card, blowing the fucking doors off the thing,
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: and you're going, well, this this sell is buying happy
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: fucking days like do you know? And you're going it
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: always ended up being steaming. I always every wedding, I well,
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: can I tell you about one wedding jar I couldn't
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: get drunk at? I couldn't one, Yeah, which one was?
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: It's the one one I ever went in England. Went
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: to a wedding in England one time there and with
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: herself and our family, a friend of theirs, beautiful manor house,
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: tiniest bar I've ever seen, honestly got the booty your
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: car would fucking sort you out better, And we kind
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: of knew this situation might happen, so we loaded the
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: boot with extra mahersal pines kens and couldn't. It was
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: that dry of an affair. It was that boring and
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: dreary of an affair there and this is not I'm
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: not saying it's indicative of all English weddings, but English
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: people have that came to my wedding couldn't wait because,
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: as they said themselves, they'd heard the myth and legend
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: of an Irish wedding. I'm like, oh, now I get it,
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: because your weddings are shy, mostly because they know it's
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: still too there. And I figured it out. If you
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: know that there's a sixty to seventy percent chance it
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: is going to be a divorce ince ou five years,
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: why would.
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: You put the effort in wedding. I couldn't get drunk
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: at tom Go on my own because I was like,
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: it's a busy day getting married. And I remember at
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: one stage, I've been walking around with a bottle of
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: Heineken in my hand for like an hour and a
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: half and I hadn't taken a sup out of it
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: to be over shaking a hand, shaking hands with some cousin.
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: And now I have a couple cut this cake, and
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: then I know I have to have to go do
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: this and go do that, and you just seeing it
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: and and like you're you're, you're, you're the main event.
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean. So uh, And I didn't
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: see it as a day that I should get shipped faced,
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: but I could not get I don't think I drove
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: through out that bottle more than twice.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: If it's any conscelationship, I got absolutely fucking slaughtered the joe. Well,
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: thank you, Tom. I want to see the morning I
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: was at our entire table. We're fucking polluted by the
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: fucking before the desserts came out, it was mighty crack
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: Well listen.
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: So we've been to a bunch of weddings down through
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: through the years, and and and and I'm at a
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: stage now, Tom that I have like a wedding every
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: two years or there. Right, It doesn't annoy me, but
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: I do remember, fuck me, I'll tell you there was
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: a stretch there and me Torty's were I think it
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: was at like six weddings in a year. And I
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: tell that story to people and they're like six weddings
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: a year. Ha, I've been the thirteen weddings last year. Yeah,
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: you say you didn't have that, But what you also
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: admitted to me, Tom, it wasn't that you weren't asked
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: to a bunch of weddings. You just didn't fucking go.
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I just I put myself in their shoes
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: and I'm going, do you want to buy me dinner?
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: Because I think that's okay if you don't want me
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: to buy Like, I didn't feel bad when you know,
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: when you find out that it's oh it's a three
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: hundred see you know three hundred in I'm like, you
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: ain't got a fucking no there. Now, let's and I
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: would send back and go and I put myself in
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: their boots and I go. They don't fucking care. And
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: a lot of my old like here's the mad thing.
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: A lot of my like old friends they've never gotten married.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: Er yeah, a lot of these I know a raked
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: dudes who are still still rocking it. I still you know,
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: most of them moved to Europe or moved to Yeah,
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: most of them moved to Europe. My too, brother of laws.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: Ain't never get married, you know what I mean, because
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: like they've been they've been at the cliffage a couple
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: of times. But no, I ain't never getting married. And
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: it's I take my cap off. I'm like, well, if
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: it isn't for you, what's the point in wasting your money, like,
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: but that's kind of but I just I was always gigging.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: It wasn't just that I was stopping at home. I
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: was always gigging.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: You were just like you weren't just pure ignorant. You
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: were gone.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: I was. It just felt so many ways that I
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: was just gone. And a lot of Antash's friends, they've
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: like a few of them, there are more than one
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: or two that maybe I should get these situations hooked up,
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: but a lot of them haven't gotten married, or they've
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: gotten married abroad somewhere. A lot of her friends more
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: than not got married in Americas, and you know, and
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: they you know, and we would meet them for what
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: would be the Irish Day too, So I'm not really
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: classing that as a win. It was just a pass up,
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: like in other kind of way. A few of them
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: are right, That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Tom.
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: Now, people say we remember when, so we remember, we've
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: been to a bunch of weddings, But we want to say,
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: as we do on the Tom and Jerry Show, how
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: things have changed in our forty odd years on this rock,
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: and weddings are no exception. The core basics of a wedding.
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: And for the purposes of this bit, folks were talking
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: about a traditional Irish Catholic wedding, church, wedding, hotel reception. Yeah, okay,
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: various other flavors of weddings are available to you as
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: civil ceremonies, you know, humanist ceremonies. Tom, you could marry.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: Me if you wanted, I married somebody.
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: I mean, you could be the celebrant that matters. I mean, indeed,
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: these days I can marry you if I want.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: And do you know what, I wouldn't been over there night.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: I ain't mad at that that that notion be one
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: of the best best wedding marriages you'd ever see. I married,
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: I married a couple of last year. Forgot, Yeah, look
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: at that, you could you did? I did? I did.
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: I married a couple last year. Super cool.
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: So for the purpose of this, but we're going to
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: go your traditional down the line Grant wedding because that's
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: the one that I've been to the most of I
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: remember when in the eighties, when I was a wee fella,
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: the very earliest weddings I went to cousins and whatnot.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: Those a tradition sliding on your knees.
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: Wow, I'm sorry, I'm a wrong time. But if you're
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: a young lad at a wedding or twenty fourth or
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: ending in a hole that has a parqua floor cracked
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: and with a parquet floor, is there any better crack
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: then running like a mad bastard sliding on your knees
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: up the floor.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you're never normally in trousers like that that
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: have that lovely shiny polyester vibe going on, and your
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: needs at five, six, seven, eight years of age are
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: like the fucking t one thousand. You just grown your knee.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: By the time the night is over, I divided it now,
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: good night and thanks as.
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: A gas in that age, in that time in Ireland
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: in the eighties, when was I ever on a polished
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: maple floor.
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: Never, It's not a possibility. Like it's never a possibility,
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: tell you so. Threat weddings even to this day in
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: the traditional as we call it Irish wedding, go to
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: the church, have the wedding out into the car, go
• 45:19
  Speaker 4: to the hotel. You will have a feed forst of pints,
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: then be for salmon. The couple will cut the cake,
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: first dance and away out the gap. But there was
• 45:32
  Speaker 4: a tradition that seems to have fallen along the wayside,
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: and that was the going away ceremony. I remember that
• 45:39
  Speaker 4: in the earlier weddings that I went to in the
• 45:42
  Speaker 4: eighties and nineties.
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: It's it's almost the one that you think of in
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: America with the ken's hanging back of the car, just
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: married Tom. It's not like that. Is that, it's exactly that.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: That's that's a whole thing.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: That's that's not a thing anymore. The whole trope of
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: the husband and wife get into a car and shaven
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: for all over, and there's cans tied to the back
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: bumper and they drive off with just married in the
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: back window. I was there for that. That was when
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: the bride and groom, at around about eleven o'clock in
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: the evening would go upstairs get changed from their wedding
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: gear into what was called they're going away out for it,
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: which was much more, much less formal. It wasn't a
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: big dress for the missus and it wasn't a suit
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: for him. It was more cities, but it was still
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: like a nice chassie set up. Yeah. Yeah, they would
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: get hugs and kisses from everybody. This is eleven o'clock
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: at night. They would get hugs and kisses from everybody
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: and high fives, and they would get in a car and.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: They would fuck off, and that was the last you
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: seen them.
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: They were gone. They were going literally on their honeymoon
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: now to drive from Monaghan or Tullamore or wherever the
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: fuck it was to the airport to go away in
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: a car was just married on the back of it.
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: I were gone.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: I remember, I'd want to add that, did that all right? Now?
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: It would have been I served at that mess. No, sorry,
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: there were neighbors. There were neighbors here, and I remember
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: they did that. They were gone that evening and I
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: just thought I'd say the like that, just seeing the
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: American movies, and they just drive off with the just
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: marriage written on the back, and of course all the
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: adults get on the on the rip, you know, there's
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: like cheer them on fair place we're gonna. I'm not
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: even putting on my jacket to say, look to you
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: if that's if you don't mind, and just back on it.
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: And then in in that time, neither you nor I
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: did that. When we got married, we we you hang
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: around for the party basically.
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you you know, it wasn't that you left
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: the wedding that night to go on honeymoon. You left
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: the wedding, you probably went back to work for a
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: week and then you went on honeymoon at a little
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: later time, because it was just, yeah, how the fuck
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: do you line all that up in one go? You
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: have only so much leave in a year, you know
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: what I mean?
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: Well, the thing, yeah, the th and the thing is
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: a lot of time you're it might be a flight
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: to fucking Morocco or something you know, or or or
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: out to the You might be going fucking I don't know,
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: so somewhere to the Hawaii or something which you ain't
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: going to get on the Sunday morning, you know, after like.
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: Exactly as you think about it, there you're leaving karten
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: across at eleven o'clock in the evening.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: Where you going?
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: What flight was leaving any rate?
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: So that's a tradition.
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: That's not a thing anymore. The rest of it is
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: fairly as I remember it, except we used to throw
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: confetti outside.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: Where the speech is always so fucking long.
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: Well, you know, here's here's here's the thing. Okay, they
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: made everybody stop throwing confetti outside the church because birds
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: were eating the making them and then.
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: They wouldn't let them eat risier because the parently pigeons
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: it will swell up inside in their stomach.
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: And you're like, okay, what can we do and it's
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: like it was like they turn around and go like,
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: well you can get up and talk for three quarters
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: of an hour. Yeah at the reception, nobody stopping. You're
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: doing that, And everyone was like deadly, Yeah, go ahead.
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: I remember weddings I used to be at.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: Tom.
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: It was the best man got up and the groom's
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: a big the best man and the bride's father two speeches.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: That was it done.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: You're good with it? Is it?
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: And you know.
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: That is not the case these days, And anybody that
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: has something to say, they're more than welcome to get
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: up and say it. Once you get past the two
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: fathers and the bride in the room, you know, I
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: think we're I think we're getting I can hear it, Tom.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: I can promise you jar There isn't one person in
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: that entire entire room wants to listen to anything anybody
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: else to say.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: Everyone don't necessarily need a sixth.
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: We wrapped, We had the opportunity to wrap hours up
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: at the drinks reception from the steps, Yes, and I
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: I curtailed my father because I's not long winded, but
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: I knew he could go on a bit, so I
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: gave him three minutes. I gave myself two minutes. I
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: gave herself father three minutes, and I gave the priest
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: one minute. I was all done in under ten minutes
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: back on the pines, and everybody was like, thank folk.
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: I was like, there's more speeches that are no, No,
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: everything's been said. We've been at a wedding. We've been
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: at a wedding one time and we got sat kind
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: of outside the reception hall because it.
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: Horror.
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: Horror. Family were so rude and his family were fucking.
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: I've never met ruder people in my whole life. I
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: was loving it because I love meeting general assholes in
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: the wild. To the point that that we're going on
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: now into our and twenty minute mark, right hour and
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: twenty minute marks rough, and I was I've been shaking
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: my glass at a chap. I don't know. He kept
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: ignoring me anyway, So I wondered, went for a wander
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: through this manor house and found a small little bar
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: where the actual owner of the building was there. Lovely
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: MANU went, would you like to taste the new sider
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: that I've just made. I'm not selling it, I went,
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: How strong is? He went? I don't know? So I
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: came back to the table half an hour later, almost
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: ready to piss my own hants, but to prove my
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: point that I'd done the right thing and missing out
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: on the father of the bride, or that we were
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: both washing our hands in the bathroom about an hour
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: later and there was napkins, you know, fancy napkins that yeah,
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: rather than a hand drier. And he didn't look at me.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: He just looked up, looked at himself in the mirror
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: and were boat washing her hands. Look in the mirror.
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: He shook off his hand and then did this to
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: me without looking at me. He clicked his fingers at
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: me and then beckoned with his like index and middle finger,
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: passed me on like I worked there, shit, and I'm like,
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: best to look brother, I'm off for more. Enjoy the
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: rest of the special days. Oh my god. But it
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: wasn't based on purely that, but I was kind of like, okay,
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: maybe maybe family members of other things but I genuinely
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: think and I'm a stand up I know it's my time,
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: Like do you know what I mean? I pride myself
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: and known they're not what the what am I going
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: to get in the way of the chocolate fountain over
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: there and pints? No, I'm just gonna thank them all.
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: The old Man did a kind of his own parody
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: on the on the watch on the the All Ireland
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: acceptance speech.
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that was it, and that was remember that
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: was the thing in the speech is Tom and this
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: and this might still happen today, but I haven't seen
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: it in a long time. Was someone would get up
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: and rather than make a speech, it was their job
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: to read out wedding cards from people that wanted to
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: be there but couldn't. So and Anti Josie in Canada
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: sense of regards and Uncle Seamus in fucking Fatima senses regards.
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: And I think at once say someone just said, like
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: you know who cares?
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: Were good?
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know so that things like this just
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: kind of fell off.
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: I'll give you one time, as we rock and roll
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: through the last segment of the Tom and Jerry Show,
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: I remember when we remember when that's the name of
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: this segment. We remember when weddings were a one day
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: affair or my friend yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I don't
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: know how I feel exactly about about the two day
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: wedding or the multi day wedding. I understand that there's
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: a lot of people have their civil ceremony and they
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: bring their nearest and dearest with them to that if
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: they do it all, and then they have a second
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: day elsewhere as the wedding wedding. Yeah, like the reception
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: doesn't take place on the same day as a wedding.
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: Lovely not what I grew up with, but seems like
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: a good bit of crack. But there are other weddings
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: that are just a traditional wedding wedding and then an
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: entirely separate day tacked onto it. And I'm not mad
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: at it, Tom, I'm not mad at it, particularly sometimes
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: particularly when we had when we had the kids and
• 53:59
  Speaker 3: there were and you weren't bringing kids to things, you
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: couldn't go to the wedding together. So I'd let herself
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: go to the wedding on the wedding day and then
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: I'd go to the day.
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: To Yeah, no, I get it. The session afterwards, I
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: totally get.
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: It, like and and and yeah, you know, I hate,
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: I hate to say it all worked out for me,
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: but herself got to go and hear the speeches and
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: the mass, and I got to go to the all
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: day session. Yeah, in an and it comes from a
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: pair of shorts. Maybe if it's in a pair of
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: genes where there was at the barbecue.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, some rebelman playing over in the corner. Yeah.
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: So I'm not entirely mad at I'm mad at it,
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: but I gotta tell you it's one of the other.
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: It's one of the other. I'm not going to two days, buddy,
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: But that's it.
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: One day of your two day wedding.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: You have three you've kind of three setups there. You
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: have the the main church, then you the the afters
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: and sometimes you know, you only go to the afters
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: there were, yeah, and then now there's the day too,
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: and you're like, bring so many.
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: To the church, to the church, and so many to
• 55:03
  Speaker 3: the after and so many to the to the to
• 55:06
  Speaker 3: the late at night.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: Bitch.
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: I remember that used to be another thing as well.
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: It was like, okay, so many to the church, add
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: another fifty when we get to the reception, and after
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: that everybody I ever drove past the road as well
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: to come.
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.
• 55:21
  Speaker 3: The the I've been a weddings where it was like
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: every single human being I've ever clappedized on is invited
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: to the dinner of it.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, God, damn Jesus. Yeah, yeah, I've been
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: to a few and You're like, there was five hundred
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: people at this. What's you know, like you're hoping to
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: build a house out of this?
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: What the fuck it's I don't I don't think I
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: could name five hundred people if I added wrestlers.
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: And the last thing, last thing I'm going to say
• 55:51
  Speaker 3: on the subject, Tom and you you glanced on it,
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: then there earlier we remember when weddings took place in
• 55:59
  Speaker 3: the parish that you were, you were living in this
• 56:03
  Speaker 3: crack of deciding that you were going to have your
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: wedding in uh.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: A destination location.
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and then everybody would go with you to
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: it is as alien to me as four glowing black
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: eggs brought up from the Japanese.
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: See the sister did a to a two hander. They
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: got married in Florence. Do you know what, though they
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: have a lot of European based friends. But it worked
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: out well as a holiday because you could go worse
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: places for a week than Florence.
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: Well this is and I'd love to go for Florence
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: on my own time. Yeah, if you invite me to
• 56:45
  Speaker 3: a wedding and it's and I have to get a
• 56:48
  Speaker 3: flight to go to it, let me tell you mine
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: is one of the cards they'll be reading out at
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: the ceremony, regards from Jerry McBride who couldn't make it.
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there is an element of what the fuck and
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: worse again, we got one and it was guessed because
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: we actually got one at the same time here in Ireland,
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: and it was to go I won't say where, but
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: I'm sure as fuck would never go there on the holiday.
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: Do you get me like like there was there was?
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: It was been mooded there recently about going to Florida
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: for our wedding. I'm like Jesus Christ miss missed mortgage
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: payment at that pint.
• 57:26
  Speaker 3: I actually as as you mentioned, as you mentioned, I've
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: been to one destination wedding, but this was within the
• 57:31
  Speaker 3: closest niche of the family circle. Okay, Yeah, if it's
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: some lad that I used to work with, is getting
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: married in the south of France. He's getting married there.
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: I'm not taking a day off work for that, but
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: I'm not using up a day annually leaving that. I'm sorry.
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: I don't think, yeah, I don't. I don't think anybody's
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: going to get now we we well, it wasn't a
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: destination we got married to kind of to soften the
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: cough of everybody. We got married on just we got
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: married on the Cork Road. Basically we got married just
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: off them eight So that was equidition.
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: That was fair to everybody, you know, it was.
• 58:06
  Speaker 2: It was for the Dublin people and for the Tipperary people,
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: and it was it worked out easy for everybody to
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: get to. But even still the twos like is this
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: all right to get back because we're neither one of
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: from here, like you know, But then you know, it
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: wasn't exactly the most you know, sanctimonious affair when you're
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: getting When I got a spin to the church in
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: the A team, then laying the eighteen music as a
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: trove up to the fucking georch, I'm pretty sure the
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: priest is like, what the fuck is this.
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: The and and there we go, ladies and gentlemen. Weddings
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: have changed down through the years and many many different ways,
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: means and otherwise.
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: Here's one. Well, here's one for me that I did
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: that I benefited from. In the old days as an
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: auto boy, I used to get twenty crisp pounds into
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: my hand. Nice for serving that a wedding. Now I
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: put on a show. I won't lie.
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: I look to you, bang that gun, baby.
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: The best vestments would be out. It was game like,
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: it was game time. We don't we'd have a pep
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: talk beforehand, like and this wasn't that's not for the
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: middle here, lads, this wasn't. This wasn't you know, a
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: midweek fixture like this was Super Saturday like you know,
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: I mean, this is what you're trained for. This is
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: where we bring it. You know, this is game six
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: like we're it's it's I mean, you can bow out
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: now if you're not ready for the big time, loise,
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: but it's time to fucking eat nerves and shit results.
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: Get out there, and a crisp twenty pound note we
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: put into my hand. I kept not getting booked, kept
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: on getting booked. It was like, this kid is fucking magic,
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: looks creating the photos wearing fucking snow white vestments, knows
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: where to stand, knows where to stand, knows who not
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: to stand in front of. You know, just just saying,
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: And you never see an autoboile or not a girl anymore,
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean? You just don't see him anymore.
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: And I think to be you just don't. Nobody's giving
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: it a go anymore.
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: And I wonder what would have happened in the nineties
• 59:57
  Speaker 3: they kind of got paid all that time. I don't know.
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know, all right, I guess.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: And if you want to hear about that other episode,
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: you're going to need to follow the Tom and Jerry
• 1:00:10
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• 1:00:13
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• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: Jerry with a G or over on Blue Sky. You'll
• 1:00:18
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• 1:00:21
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• 1:00:25
  Speaker 3: want these ladies and gentlemen to do this?
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: Just go ahead hit subscribe right now. If you haven't
• 1:00:30
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• 1:00:32
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• 1:00:34
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• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: much easier to see it if you would leave it. Come,
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: let us know what your experiences have weddings gone by.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: If you've been saying a couple of weddings, listen to
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: this wedding. Maybe you're at our weddings, who knows, but
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 2: if you do, let let us know. If you're in
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: agreement that that nasty shape at the bottom of the
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: ocean state a fuck down there, or if you think
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: it's a great idea that might further further humanity, let
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: us know in the comments. Ju I'm feeling fresh in myself.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: I'm not overly sweating because I managed to keep the
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: curtains closed in this room all day, which is one
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: smart thing I did today. There you go. Yeah, that
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: was awesome.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: Thank you very much, Thank you, Tom.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: Canish you on