Latest / The Daily Ripples Podcast / September 18 – Loved Into Freedom

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September 18 – Loved Into Freedom · The Daily Ripples Podcast

• 0:04
  Welcome back, everybody, to the Daily Ripples podcast. Today is Friday, September the 18th.
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  Our daily devotional is titled, Loved Into Freedom. But before that,
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  I just want to say that I am thankful, and I know Corey is as well,
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  that we have had Paris here with us all week.
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  And unfortunately, he couldn't be with us today. No, I'm kidding.
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  He's sitting right here.
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  But we'll kick right in with the stone. God's love frees me from the illusion that I must save myself.
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  Ripple 1. Practical. Today, I will let go of the need to prove I can handle everything on my own.
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  Strength is not found in self-sufficiency, but in the humility to receive help.
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  Accepting love and support is not weakness. It is part of healing. Ripple 2. Spiritual.
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  As I rest in the Father's love, the Holy Spirit reminds me that I no longer
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  have to earn what has already been freely given.
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  Following Christ's invitation to trust rather than strive, I find the freedom
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  that comes from being loved before I ever deserved it.
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  Of course, to save our prayer for the end of the episode, but as I was reading
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  this one again, you know, just now I started thinking about letting go of the
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  need to prove I can handle everything on my own, especially,
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  right? That first line and the practical ripple.
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  And so as I'm thinking about it now, I'm thinking, well, how exactly will I
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  let go of the need to prove I can handle everything I'm right?
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  Like if I'm looking at this as just for today, and today I have something that
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  I'm trying to prove that I can handle by myself, how exactly could I let that go?
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  And the first thought that comes to my mind is, well, the first thing I could
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  do is pray and talk to God about it to allow God into whatever that situation
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  is that I'm trying to handle on my own.
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  So I first have to invite God in, and then I have to realize,
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  I think, that I'm not God.
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  You know, I got to remind myself of that all the time. And not that I ever actually
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  thought that I was literally God, right? But how many times do I try to take
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  back the reins and the control in my own life about a given situation?
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  Anytime that I'm trying to control a person that I love, I'm trying to play
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  the part of God, and I have to step back from that.
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  And in letting go of the need to prove I can handle everything on my own.
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  I've learned the power of the three simple words and that are,
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  I don't know, you know, cause I used to want to be, man, when I was drinking,
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  I had an answer for everything, right?
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  I was the expert, no matter on what the topic was, unless it was sports.
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  I admitted to everybody, I can care less about sports, but you know,
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  anything else, like if it was something that I knew about, man,
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  I knew it and you didn't know it more than I did, right? And I wanted to make
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  sure you knew that I knew it.
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  And I don't have to do that anymore. I'm totally fine with, you know,
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  saying, hey, I don't have every single verse in the Bible memorized by memory,
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  you know, kind of thing, even as a preacher. That's not something that you just
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  magically grow overnight.
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  But man, I know how to find it. And I know where to find the answers.
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  And more importantly, I can read it because I've been trained enough that,
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  you know, I can read and study and know what it means, even,
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  which is even more important than individual words on a page.
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  And that's something I think that we have to strive for in recovery as well,
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  is that we can get into this routine of, yeah, we know the words and the phrases
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  and even what page they're on.
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  You know, there's only 164 pages in the primary text of the recovery for alcoholism.
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  But do we know how to live it? You know, do we know what the words on the pages mean?
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  You know, and that's where nothing can replace the experience that we have of
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  loving each other back to health, which is part and parcel of each 12 steps.
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  But anyway, Paris, you've been a great guest all week. Why don't you start us
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  off with your thoughts here on this one today?
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  We'll make Corey wait a little bit longer. Well, yeah, I know.
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  Well, thank you for having me on. You know, this is definitely,
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  you know, I love coming on to this podcast because, you know,
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  this work that y'all two do is very great.
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  You know, when it says God loves frees me from the illusion that I must save
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  myself, you know, I got to thinking about how that when I didn't have a God,
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  when I was out there not believing and not just doing all the stuff I did to me do on my own.
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  I always was trying to save myself. I had to save myself from everything.
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  You know, I mean, when my car went to the lake, you know, I was like, oh, snap.
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  I jumped out of there. I saved myself, right? No, that was God.
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  God got me here again. You know, it's been times where, you know,
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  like today I'm walking and I'm a guy ran through about a motor bus.
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  You know, there's some times where God has been there and saved me.
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  Because I can't. I mean, once, if I would have spent over one bad way,
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  hey, I probably wouldn't be walking.
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  You know, but those are the things that I think about when it talks about this.
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  My love, like, I love my God.
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  But, yeah, proving that I can handle everything on my arm, and accepting that love.
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  You know, I used to get frustrated when I had to call my sponsor, Corey, you know.
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  I used to call, call, did I need?
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  But I didn't want to tell my deed, you know what I mean? But when I called them,
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  and it's like, when we get to talking for a while, it's like,
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  dang, you know, I needed that talk.
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  You know, that's that part of, you know, that God in him, you know,
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  that you know God put that thought for me to call him someone else you know.
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  But that support, you know, that's a part of healing. It's not the weakness.
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  It's definitely not weakness.
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  Because, I mean, people talk to me every day, but, like, man,
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  I'm so thankful and grateful that you are a part of my life, my journey.
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  Because, you know, I can get in my mode, too, when they call me,
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  and I'll be like, hey, well, you should read this page in the book, you know.
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  Let me tell you about this, you know, because I be referenced the book a lot, too, to others.
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  And, you know, but that's that freedom that we talked about.
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  In the yesterday podcast about, you know, being able to be there for others.
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  And I don't think I can, I wanted to quote something out of this.
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  I had to go to page 80, you know, talking about making amends again because
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  we're in step nine still.
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  You know, it says, Before taking drastic action, we might implicate other people.
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  We secure their consent that we have the same permission and have consulted with others.
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  Ask God to help and the drastic step is indicated we must not sprint.
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  You know, there's a lot of prayers in the book, right, Lord?
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  A lot of prayers. And there's a lot of promises. I don't know.
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  Yeah, there were a lot of promises. I'm trying to go. I'm going to have to do
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  a thing where I go back and count them all. So, you know, that's my addition.
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  I'd be like, one that gets everything right, you know?
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  But, you know, maybe one day. But, yeah, you know, that's what I'm looking at.
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  And I thank y'all again for having me on. You know, what, you got something?
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  Yeah, you're not done. Okay.
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  You know, it says, God's love frees me from the illusion. So illusion's a lie, right?
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  Yeah, so God's love frees me from the lie that I must save myself.
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  Now, I'll cut down just rereading some of this. It says, today I will let go,
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  of the need to prove I can handle everything on my own.
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  Oh, man, when I went back, you know, I don't know, man.
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  And I think God, the way God puts things in my life, yeah, I can.
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  Like, you know, for a certain amount of time, right, I can handle it.
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  You know, and then, but that's the problem, right? Because it works for a minute.
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  It works for a second. I mean, that lie that I can do this, and I'm not,
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  like, because, you know, on page 30, right?
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  And that's, you know, when I change up some words and I think about this,
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  as I was thinking, it says on page 30, the idea that somehow,
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  someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker.
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  Bottom of that paragraph, the delusion that we're like other people or presently
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  maybe has to be smashed, right? And,
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  I'm not under the umbrella of, hey, man, now that I'm in this deal,
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  you know, I'm such a better person and everybody needs this program.
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  Right? I'm not, I don't believe that. Yes.
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  You know, because it says something, you know, in our book is that most people
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  live by self propulsion and most people do it well.
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  Most people can take a drink of alcohol and have complete control and not do
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  the things I do and hurt the people I hurt.
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  For some reason, I'm not like most people. and that idea has to be smashed.
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  The delusion that we're like other people are presently maybe has to be smashed.
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  So I have to live on a different basis, right? I have to trust and rely upon
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  this higher power rather than living by self-propulsion.
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  Most people live by self-propulsion and I think they do it very well.
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  You know, but what I try for some reason and I think, you know,
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  page 62 of the lines of this says many of us have moral and philosophical convictions
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  of the Lord, but we cannot live up to them even though we'd like to.
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  Neither could I reduce my self-centeredness by wishing or trying on my own hour.
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  So, like, I've tried to be a good guy.
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  I've tried not to cheat. And man, when that firm dings, for some reason,
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  I'm leaving the house and saying I have to be to take care of a man.
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  Not anymore, of course. I mean, I don't be that sudden anymore.
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  I'll get, I don't, I'm about that life at the end. Right, no, yeah.
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  But, like, you know, I've done it so many times.
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  And I walk out of that door so many times. But you know where it leads to today,
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  too. I mean, you know the results that you get when you let out.
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  I know what, man. I know...
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  I know where a drink leads me, too. Exactly. Yeah. But, you know,
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  that's a weird position, right?
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  Because when I'm not trusting and relying upon God, and God's that keystone. Are they it?
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  No, well, I mean, the God's that
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  keystone, my morals and philosophical convictions don't come together.
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  Yeah, yeah. Even though I'd like them to, right? Because I had to have God's help.
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  And that's been the case with my water. You know, man, when I was a kid,
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  man, like, you know, I'll tell you what, man, I could be getting kicked out
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  of school and I can be respect.
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  I can be yes, ma'am, yes, sir, as I got handcuffs on every time.
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  You know, I'm a respectful person. But that doesn't mean those morals and those
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  philosophical convictions because they're not matching up.
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  You know, and I think we talked about this one time, to say that I can't,
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  because I can't blame the alcohol.
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  I cannot blame the alcohol. We think we talked about this last week.
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  I can't blame the alcohol because, but first, I've done this wrong.
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  Not a just go-around in my sobriety this time. My last go-around,
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  I did it completely sober.
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  I did cheat on women completely sober. I did a lot of people completely sober.
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  For me to blame it on the alcohol, that's crazy. I think you know what I mean?
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  Even when I was drinking, right? While I was at work, not drinking.
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  I'm setting up that appointment for when the girl that I'm sleeping with at that time goes to sleep.
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  Dead sober so for me man like i can't blame these me not living up to this thing
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  and running all self-propulsion you know so i had to have a palette and i had to have a director,
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  now you know but like i can't just say that i have to do that and you know i
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  think to me the biggest word is abandon myself and the page 63 it says after the third step prayer,
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  It said that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to him.
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  And that doesn't mean just, man, I'm, you know, that means abandon myself to
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  God and abandon myself to his kids.
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  Because, man, if I don't, man, I'll tell you, I know what that looks like.
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  And like running in that way of life without doing my stuff in the movements,
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  right where I lay out, helping others, being of service to my family,
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  being of service in my job and doing those things.
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  Because if I don't, man, I start feeling like other people again.
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  Well, that takes it all the way back to kind of where you started about how,
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  or one of the things that you mentioned at the beginning of that,
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  about how some people, you know, they come into a recovery program,
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  a 12-step program, AA, of course, which has been most of our experience.
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  And, you know, they come into the program and they're like, everybody needs these 12 steps, right?
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  That's one of the things that you mentioned. And I've always been of the mind that,
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  And it's part of what my, you know, inspiration for using, you know,
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  kind of recovery influence to take to the faith community, you know,
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  through like these daily devotionals and writing them and things like that.
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  And it's because it's not, but there's still a distinction, right?
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  It's not saying that everybody needs these 12 steps. It's that from my perspective,
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  everybody can benefit from the principles of the 12 steps for whatever,
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  you know, struggles they're facing in their life. Everyone can benefit.
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  But for us who are alcoholics.
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  Or who were addicts or what have you, for us, it's not just can benefit from,
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  it's an absolutely critical life and death.
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  You know, like for me, this is a life and death thing, right?
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  Everybody else can benefit from it, sure, but they can go on about their day-to-day
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  life because they're, you know, normal, you know, in terms of when it comes to alcohol, that is.
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  Now, some people are still pretty weird in other areas, but in terms of alcohol,
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  you know, And so I think that's the biggest distinction.
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  And that's one of the reasons why this program, you know, works so well for
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  us is that we know that the other people in the room have gone through the same
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  things that we have. And so we have that same connection, you know.
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  And I was, you know, I was, you know, Cor was talking about,
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  you know, being sober and not bringing the alcohol.
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  And it's where, you know, I have caught myself in some tight situations,
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  you know, because I have been sober for a period of time, you know.
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  And you get to thinking about it, it's like, man, you get sober then.
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  It's like you get that attraction. You know what I mean?
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  Everyone wants to know, especially if a women attraction, you know.
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  I didn't get it, you know. It's like, what the crap, you know.
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  But now it's like, that's for Daily Ripples After Dark.
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  Yeah, we get into the relationship stuff in Daily Ripples. No,
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  I'm kidding. Well, I mean, I have to say, you know, but no, it's almost like,
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  you know, now I'm on the way on a journey. It's like, man, you know how they
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  used to be. This is in a Bible about, you know, being.
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  Yeah. All I can say about that topic is I know what you're talking about.
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  Worked my way through that. Thank God I got married for too long. Amen.
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  Yeah. Well, I mean, I mean, but in all seriousness, right? Yeah. Yeah.
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  This, you know, I was telling you about this other night, man.
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  You know, I think this so, it's so funny to me because we're somewhat of enthusiasts,
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  somewhat of, we do things overly, but like just a bit.
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  Everybody does. Man, here's the deal. Everybody, we're human.
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  You know, and it does our human proverbs.
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  Man give you plenty of lists of humans regular humans that aren't going to a
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  meeting right breeding with people that still have those problems right right
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  but since this thing on six and seven we people want that's all i think people
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  can talk about is their character defects and shortcomings and the things that
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  are objectionable that it's two paragraphs,
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  the reason Bob Bill made that so short right two paragraphs is because I'm human,
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  and what makes me human my defects of character also is an asset to somebody
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  that I can rightly relate to right yeah so I felt like,
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  man and like you know it's so funny because like we think we have this cool thing,
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  this thing that makes me better than other people.
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  When other people can go about their day just fine.
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  Man, I believe everybody has the spiritual malady, but man, how cool is it that
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  people can wake up, go to work.
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  Do these things out there in the free world where I'm best, where my best place
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  to be is in a cave. When someone tells me when to poop and pee and eat and my
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  brain works, I'm so good at an institution.
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  Man, and I have to institutionalize myself within the way I wake up.
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  But when I got no cards in my posture, structure myself because I'm not, I'm not.
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  And for me to say that I have some better way of
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  working on my defects because it says i have a prayer that god will take them
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  away so for me to be abused to him not so i could be this upstanding citizen
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  right i mean i'm in you know,
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  i men sleep with women women sleep around with men single people do that,
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  i mean the bars and churches and everywhere else oh yeah it doesn't matter man
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  and i said and i think it's so funny like you know because i say,
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  you know he knows you know dudes i work with they know the position i say on
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  death and it says it in my book,
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  it says i stay out of that completely oh yeah i know what you're talking about
• 17:55
  yeah just read it you know it says uh words i'm sorry i'm not talks about how
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  people have different views on the topic of sex and said we we stay out of that right it says
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  we want to stay out of this controversy we do not want to be the arbiter That's the authority.
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  Grant anyone's sex conduct. We all have sex troubles. Yeah, we'd hardly be human if we did.
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  Man, and like, you know, for me to come into somewhere and go,
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  don't do this, don't do this.
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  Well, my sponsor was six months sober. His wife was nine years sober and they
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  got together and he's 18 years sober today, still happily married.
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  And, you know, I'm so like, you know, for me to know, I know a lot of stories like that, right?
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  Like, I know bad ones too. Of course. Yeah, like it doesn't.
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  Because like you said, we're all human. Right. And there's bad ones in the bars.
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  There's bad ones in church. Man.
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  Preachers can get off the chave in this thing. Okay, man. I'm not talking about
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  you, but I see it on the leaves all the time.
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  Preachers can be taken out of a pulpit because of this topic for sure. Yeah, that is us.
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  This is where it's somewhere, some way.
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  Yeah, I think it's such a cool thing that if we can be just humonged and take
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  all this enthusiastically trying to think that we could take away the...
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  I don't know. And that's why it goes back to, you know, what I said before,
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  and I wasn't trying to cut Paris off or anything, but it was just as I was thinking
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  about my own experiences in my first few years of AA, that's why I conclude with,
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  thank God I'm married today. Because it gives me the.
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  Marriage is an institution. That's an institution that I need to be living and
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  operating in myself. And what's cool about the book, and I just thought about
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  this, and I'm just connecting balance, because it tells me what to do if the sex is a problem, right?
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  Go harder into helping people, right? Well, what's cool about it,
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  if you got one moment, you go harder into helping her, being a service to her.
• 19:53
  Father God, thank you for loving me even when I could not love myself.
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  Through your Holy Spirit, help me live each day in the freedom of your grace.
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  Shape me through the example of Jesus. Amen. Meh.