Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Mercedes Hit A Wall

Transcript

Mercedes Hit A Wall · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: iHeart Podcasts bring you the ultimate summer of love Tree.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: This is famously Available. Welcome back to Famously Available with
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: your host Ben. As we follow our famously available women
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: all on their own journeys, we are bound to hit
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: some twists and turns. Last time we talked to Mercedes,
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: are beloved Mercedes.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Things were going well.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: But I'm back for another check in, and honestly, I
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: am unaware of the status.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: However, I was told.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: That I needed to get on a call with Mercedes
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: to have an honest and open conversation. And that's why
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: I'm here today. Mercedes, Why are you here?
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: I am here to let you know that me and
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: Boston Man are no more.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: That's I just like, I don't really, I'm just gonna
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: speak to you like I would any of my other
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: girlfriends who are going through this.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: I'm bummed.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: I'm bummed because it felt like things were We're just
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: happy and healthy and like going on their own individual
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: timeline in like the best ways.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: When we talked to you last, you.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Didn't have a plan necessarily to see him next if
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I remember right, but you were going to like get
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: that scheduled. You're gonna figure that one out.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: What happened.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, I don't really know. I feel like it
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: kind of like just switched one day. On his end,
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: I think he got a job opportunity on top of
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: his full time job, so he's gonna be working a lot.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: He has to move to a new city, and I
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: think he was just very stressed and I think having
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: someone to like care for and like be in a
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: relationship with zone was just too much for him.
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: So he just was like, yeah, I can't do that.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: I was like, okay, I'm not gonna like be someone
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: to take me along with them through their life and journeys.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: So that was that. And yeah, the.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: I mean it always is sad and hurt, and you know,
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: if you're me, when things end, I kind of go
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: very internal. I ask myself a lot of questions, if
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: that makes sense. What are some of the questions you're
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: asking yourself right now?
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's honestly, Like the biggest thing that I've been
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: struggling with is I've like you turned internal and like
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: what did I did I do something? Is there something
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: wrong with me? And it was something that I struggled
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: with for a couple of days and it was just
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: like you know, did.
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: I open enough, like open up.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: Enough, did I make him feel like the way he
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: was making me feel? Or do I need to be
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: better at communicating my feelings?
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: Like there was a lot of again.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: Internal questioning, but then I just came to the conclusion
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: that you know, I know who I am, I know
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: the love I give, and I'm worthy of a love
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: that reciprocates that, and it just wasn't him.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: The There is some things about him, though, that you
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: really appreciated and that obviously drew you to him. When
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: we started this, he was a practice date turned into
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: multiple dates. The reason it turned into multiple dates is
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: because you were intrigued by him and you liked him
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: as you know for the time that you're together. What
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: are some of those qualities now that you've pulled from
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: that that you look for in the future.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely someone who is like very open with the
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: way they feel. I feel like he was the type
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: of guy that just kind of laid it out on
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: the table, which I had never.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: Really experienced before.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: And it turns out that I really like that and
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: I like hearing compliments. It's so funny, Ben, Like I
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: used to be like, oh, I don't really like when
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: men compliment me, like it makes me feel like, oh,
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: like I don't know how to take it. But then
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: with him, I like loved it. I'm like, oh, keep
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: them coming. So I think that, you know, I'm a
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: firm believer that every single person or thing that happens
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: to you is either a lesson or you know, you
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: learn something from everyone. And I think that he really
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: like sparked something in me and made me excited about
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: dating again, because before him, I was like, I'm not
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: going on a date with anyone, Like all these men are.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: Like not it.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: And now I'm like excited and I'm excited to meet
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: more people. And he showed me that, like I can
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: get excited about someone. So I think that was kind of.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: His role in my love life.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: And obviously, like I think he's a great person and
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: I think he truly like I know, he's not a
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: bad person.
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: I think he's just really busy with life.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I hear you there, and it does.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: The hope is this did open up kind of the
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: floodgates to you getting back out there in the dating world.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Is this chapter closed for you? I mean, if he
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: takes a few weeks, sits on this and is like, goodness, gracious,
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: I had somebody incredible h in my life and calls
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: you back up.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: Would you reconsider dating again or trying it again?
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: Probably, but I would have I would be like very reserved.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't be able to just like jump back into
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: it and be like where we were.
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: You know. I think the way that he I don't know.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: I don't want to get into too much just out
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: of respect for him, but I think the way that
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: he handled it was a little unconsiderate, where like we
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: didn't like Basically, I was like, do you need some space.
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: For a couple of days to like think?
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: And he was like yes, and I like, which I get,
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: and I gave him a couple of days, but I
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: just like, I don't know. I was like, you literally
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: left me here not knowing like what you were thinking
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: for you.
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: Know what I'm saying. So it was just a little unconsiderate.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: So I the door's not closed, but I would definitely
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: have my reservations.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that's very fair.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: When we started this whole thing out, you had a
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: lot of hesitancy towards today's dating culture. You weren't going
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: on dates, you weren't you wanted to go on dates?
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: You didn't really though. It felt like you wanted to
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: go on dates, but you didn't at the same time
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: that you didn't really know how to put yourself out
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: there into the world. You obviously did with this practice
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: date that turned into multiple dates. Dating is very complex.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: We talked about what you liked about him, but after
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: just a few dates with him, what have you learned
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: about dating? And do you think there's an added complexity
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: since you have been on TV.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like what I've learned about dating is
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: that my the way that I was like viewing dates
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: and how I thought that all men were is not true.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: You know, he was very respectful of my boundaries. He
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: respected me, He was open and honest. So I think
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: he definitely taught me that I need to be more
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: open and not just have my one.
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: Opinion, closed minded opinion about men.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: I think that's honestly the most important thing he taught
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: me through you know, however much time we spent.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Together, this season of life for you is not only
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: going to be full of these roller coaster rides of emotion,
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: but also very exciting at times. Also because you do
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: get to meet people. But one of the things that
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: was happening in this relationship was it was long distance,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: which adds another layer of difficulty to relationships but can
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: be very healthy. Has it made you at all stay
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: away from long distance relationships or would you still pursue
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: tho if they're available, I would.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: Still pursue them.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: That was like his like main thing on why he
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: didn't want to continue was because of the long distance.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: But I personally, like, I didn't. I didn't mind it.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: I mean, obviously it sucks, right, like you like want
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: to like when you're excited about someone and you start
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: dating someone, like you're like, I want.
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: To be with you all the time, Like I want
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: to know everything about you.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: Like that's normal, and obviously when you live in different
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: cities you can't do that.
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: But honestly, it wasn't bothering me, like I think.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: You know, if it was for an extended amount of time,
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: obviously that would be really, really tough.
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: But you know, we talked on the phone.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: We you know, we both gave effort to where it
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: felt like we were still getting to know each other
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: even if we weren't in person. So no, I'm not
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: knocking long distance relationships at all. I think if you
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: both put the effort, then it can work.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: I agree, And it does make conversations sometimes more intentional
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: because you have to ask questions. You can't just snuggle
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: on the couch and watch a movie. You have to
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: actually communicate. And I do think you can get to
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: know each other even better through you know, just talking
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: to connect instead of anything else, which is beautiful in
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: its own way. Do you I mean long distance and
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: kind of how this started. Do you don't think there
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: was anybody else that he was dating right that came
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: into play here?
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: No? No, I mean it was very abrupt, so I
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: don't know. I don't know.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: I didn't ask, but I don't think so. I don't
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: think so. I think that he just genuinely was like
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: very stressed with the whole work thing and having to
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: work sixty hours a.
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: Week and you know, moving to a new city, all
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: these things. But at the end of the day, like.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: It goes back to like if he wanted to, he
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: would like it's not it wasn't impossible to continue to
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: get to know me and date me.
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: But I mean, he just he didn't think he had time.
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: So no, I don't.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: Think that there was someone else, but I mean, I
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: guess I didn't ask the question.
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: So I don't know for sure.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: And we talked about it last time you're on here.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: You hadn't really had that conversation yet, so if there was,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: it's not like he was doing anything yeah wrong, just
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: would be surprising, maybe because of how you were feeling
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: at the time about him. You have a great group
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: of friends around you, some from the show, some not
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: from the show. What was their response when you told him.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: It was over?
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: They were like, I mean, they were obviously on my side.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: They were like, yeah, he was love Bomby like a
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: bunch of stuff, you know, just try you know how
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: girls are like HiPE each other up or like he's
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: a weirdo loser. Yeah, but no, I think that they
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: thought the same as me. They're like, he's not like
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: a posy and we all know that. And I know
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: that he's a good guy, he's a good family like
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: he has good values morals.
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: I just think it was.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: A timing thing and they were like if what I
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: forget what friends said this, but they're like, think of
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: how great he was, Like think of how like amazing
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: and like when you actually meet like the love of
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: your life or you're like your husband, the person you're gonna
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: spend forever with, Like that's gonna feel like make this
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: feel like nothing. And I'm like, that's so exciting, you know,
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: Like I got so excited over him that like, when
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: I actually meet someone, it's like, for real, how exciting
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: it'll be.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, And that's completely true. It doesn't disregard past relationships.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: It doesn't make those less meaningful. I think that would
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: be unfair to that season and time that you spent.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: But it's it's only natural to, at at least at
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: the beginning, to compare. And it's just incredible when you
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: meet the one and when you know you know, and
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: you'll never feel anything like it you know before, and
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: you're like, goodness, gracious. But then the fear, Mercedes is
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: if this ends, I am broken, like broken, But it's
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: the best thing ever and also the scariest thing of
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: your life.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's worth it so great. Do you think
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: he's gonna listen to this episode?
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I hope not.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: He he listened to the first one and I told him,
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: I said, you're not allowed to listen to it, and
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: he's like, why and I'm like, because you're getting like
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: the inside of my brain.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: I'm like, that's not fair.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: Know if he'll listen to it or not. To be honest,
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: I hope he doesn't. But if he does, I mean
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: I'm just being honest and truthful. And he also like
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: I told him everything on the phone too. When we
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: did have like the conversation, I was just like, I.
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: Told you where I was at.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: If you feel this way, like, there's nothing I can
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: do about it. So hope was she's best? You know,
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: like I wasn't like the type of girl where it's like, well,
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, really her by this.
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: I didn't do all that.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: I was just like, Okay, if that's that's what you
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: want to do, that's what you want to do, have fun,
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: see you.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: Thanks for chat like.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: Life.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know, and it's fair if he does listen
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: to this. Is there anything you.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: Haven't said so far that you would want him to hear?
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: No?
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: Not really.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: Well I guess the question is out there right now?
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Are you ready to date more?
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: Yes? I am.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: I'm excited sneaking up on us and talking to anybody
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: else right now.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: There's a few people in the dms, but nothing like,
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: nothing significant.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: There's like some flirty dms going back and forth.
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, which is so unlike me.
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: Boston Man literally opened up all different side of me.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: So a few flirty dms but nothing nothing serious.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Well, Mercedes is having fun. At some point, I want
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: to go through an episode and talk about the flirted
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: dms and what you've said back and forth to each other.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: I want to know how you flirt these days.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: That's all much.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: That's something I'm very curious about, is how flirting happens
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: in this dating culture. Well, I don't want to give
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: too many details to you right now, but we do
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: have someone we're going to be setting you up with
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: very soon. I hear, and I'm going to know more
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: here in just a bit, but I hear this man
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: is very attractive and he is in the right age range. Okay,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: so that's going to be happening if you agree to
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: let us do this.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm literally so down. I'm literally I'm saying yes
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: to every day. Every date is a practice date until
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: we find the one.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Be careful because your DMS might get even busier. We're
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: going to bring you back on here very soon to
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: give the details about this date kind of leading up
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: to it, and then we'll talk to you night of
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: the date, before and after the date happens. It's great
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: and if the date goes well, amazing. If it doesn't
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: go well, then we just put Deanna in with a
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: therapist to talk to her.
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: After a day she needed a therapist.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: No, I think it just was like a good added
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: benefit to the show as you get free therapy and
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: you get to talk through all this stuff. You just
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: have to do it in front of a national audience.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: But that also is an option available to you if
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: this date doesn't go well and you feel like you
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: need some tuning up in life, So just keep in mind.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Mercedes again, I am sorry that this one didn't work out,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: but I am happy that there's a smile on your
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: face and that it sounds like you took some great
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: things from this little, you know, talking relationship and also
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: learn some things about yourself and also put your footback
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: out there to date again, and we can't wait to
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: be a part of it. I'm bummed then never got
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: to meet him. I was excited to do that. Maybe
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: that's what scared him away. If it is, I will
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: never offer that up again. That is that was my mistake.
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: I honestly, yeah, we didn't even because like the day
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: I was gonna tell him was the day that like
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: things started being weird.
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: I'm like, Okay, today's day I do it.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: So we didn't even know.
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: So it wasn't you.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, good Mercedes.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: We'll have you back on here very soon to talk
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: about some very exciting things that we have planned for you.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: It will be fun, it will be awesome. Uh and
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: I cannot wait to hear more about it until next time.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: This has been famously available. We're talking to Mercedes a
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: day about the ending of the relationship with Boston man. Uh.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: And we will continue to put Mercedes back out there
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: into the world because somebody out there deserves Mercedes, and
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Mercedes deserves somebody great.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: So we'll be back soon. Stay tuned.