Latest / The Non-Stop Stowaway / Anonymous Story - Anton Chekhov

Transcript

Anonymous Story - Anton Chekhov · The Non-Stop Stowaway

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Chapter one of an anonymous story by Anton Tchehov. This
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: LibriVox dot org. An anonymous story by Anton Chekhov, translated
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: by Konstance Garnett eighteen sixty one to nineteen forty six.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Chapter one. Through causes which it is not the time
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: to go into in detail, I had to enter the
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: service of a Petersburg official called Orlov in the capacity
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: of a footman. He was about five and thirty and
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: was called Georghi Ivanitch. I entered this Orlov service on
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: account of his father, a prominent political man, whom I
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: looked upon as a serious enemy of my cause. I
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: reckon that living with the son, I should, from the
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: conversations I should hear, and from the letters and papers
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: I should find on the table, learn every detail of
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: the father's plans and intentions. As a rule, at eleven
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: o'clock in the morning, the electric bell rang in my
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: footman's quarters to let me know that my master was awake.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: When I went into the bedroom with his polished shoes
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: and brushed clothes, Georgy Ivanitch would be sitting in his
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: bed with a face that looked not drowsy, but rather
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: exhausted by sleep, and he would gaze off in one
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: direction without any sign of satisfaction at having waked. I
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: helped him to dress, and he let me do it
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: with an air of reluctance, without speaking or noticing my presence. Then,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: with his head wet with washing, smelling of fresh scent,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: he used to go into the dining room to drink
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: his coffee. He used to sit at the table, sipping
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: his coffee and glancing through the newspapers, while the maid
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Polia and I stood respectfully at the door gazing at him.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Two grown up persons had to stand watching with the
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: gravest attention, a third drinking coffee and munching rusks. It
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: was probably ludicrous and grotesque, but I saw nothing humiliating
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: in having to stand near the door. Though I was
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: quite as well born and well educated as Orlov himself,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I was in the first stage of consumption and was
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: suffering from something else, possibly even more serious than consumption.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know whether it was the effect of my
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: illness or of an incipient change in my philosophy of life,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: of which I was not conscious at the time. But
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I was, day by day more possessed by a passionate,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: irritating longing for ordinary, every day life. I yearned for
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: mental tranquility, health, fresh air, good food. I was becoming
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: a dreamer, and like a dreamer, I did not know
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: exactly what I wanted. Sometimes I felt inclined to go
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: into a monastery, to sit there for days together by
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: the window and gaze at the trees in the fields.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I fancied I would buy fifteen acres of land
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: and settle down as a country gentleman. Sometimes I inwardly
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: vowed to take up science and become a professor at
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: some provincial university. I was a retired Navy lieutenant. I
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: dreamed of the sea, of our squadron, and of the
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: corvette in which I had made the cruise round the world.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: I longed to experience again the indescribable feeling when walking
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: in the tropical forest or looking at the sunset in
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: the Bay of Bengal, one is thrilled with ecstasy and
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: at the same time homestick. I dreamed of mountains, women, music,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: and with the curiosity of a child I looked into
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: people's faces, listened to their voices, and when I stood
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: at the door and watched Orlov slipping his coffee, I
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: felt not a footman, but a man interested in everything
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: in the world. Even in orlov In appearance. Orlov was
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: a typical Petersburger, with narrow shoulders, a long waist, sunken temples,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: eyes of an indefinite color, and scanty, dingy colored hair,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: beard and mustaches. His face had a stale, unpleasant look,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: though it was studiously cared for. It was particularly unpleasant
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: when he was asleep or lost in thought. It is
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: not worth while describing a quite ordinary appearance. Besides, Petersburg
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: is not Spain, and a man's appearance is not of
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: much consequence even in love affairs, and is only of
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: value to a handsome footman or coachman. I have spoken
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: of Orlof's face and hair only because there was something
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: in his appearance worth mentioning. When Orlov took a newspaper
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: or book, whatever it might be, or met people, whoever
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: they be, an ironical smile began to come into his eyes,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: and his whole countenance assumed an expression of light mockery
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: in which there was no malice before reading or hearing anything.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: He always had his irony and readiness, as a savage
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: has his shield. It was an habitual irony, like some
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: old liquor brewed years ago, and now it came into
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: his face, probably without any participation of his will, as
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: it were, by reflex action. But of that later, soon
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: after midday, he took his portfolio full of papers and
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: drove to his office. He dined away from home, and
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: returned after eight o'clock. I used to light the lamp
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: and candles in his study, and he would sit down
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: in a low chair, with his legs stretched out on
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: another chair, and reclining in that position, would begin reading.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Almost every day he brought in new books with him,
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: or received parcels of them from the shops. And there
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: were heaps of books in three languages, to say nothing
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: of Russian, which he had read and thrown away in
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: the corners of my room and under my bed. He
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: read with extraordinary rapidity. They say, tell me what you read,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: and I'll tell you who you are. That may be true,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: but it was absolutely impossible to judge of orlof by
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: what he read. It was a regular hotchpotch philosophy, French novels,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: political economy, finance, new poets, and publications of the firm Pausrednik.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: And he had read it all with the same rapidity
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: and with the same ironical expression in his eyes. After
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: ten o'clock he carefully dressed, often in evening dress, very
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: rarely in his commer yunker's uniform, and went out, returning
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: in the morning. Our relations were quiet and peaceful, and
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: we never had any misunderstanding. As a rule, he did
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: not notice my presence, and when he talked to me,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: there was no expression of irony on his face. He
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: evidently did not look upon me as a human being.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I only once saw him angry. One day. It was
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: a week after I had entered his service. He came
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: back from some dinner at nine o'clock. His face looked ill,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: humored and exhausted. When I followed him into his study
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: to light the candles, he said to me, there's a
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: nasty smell in the flat. No, the air is fresh,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: I answered, I tell you there's a bad smell. He answered, irritably,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: I opened the movable pains every day. Don't argue, blockhead,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: he shouted. I was offended and was on the point
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: of answering, and goodness knows how it would have ended
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: if Polia, who knew her master better than I did,
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: had not intervened. There really is a disagreeable smell, she said,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: raising her eyebrows. What can it be from? Stefan opened
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: the pane in the drawing room and light the fire.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: With much bustle and many exclamations. She went through all
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: the rooms, rustling her skirts and squeezing the sprayer with
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: a hissing sound. And Orlov was still out of humor.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: He was obviously restraining himself not to vent his ill
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: temper out loud. He was sitting at the table and
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: rapidly writing a letter. After writing a few lines, he
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: snorted angrily and tore it up. Then he began writing again.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Damn them all, he muttered, they expect me to have
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: an abnormal memory. At last the letter was written, He
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: got up from the table and said, turning to me,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: go to Zanamensky Street and deliver this letter. 'tis zen
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Naida Fyodorovna Krasnovsky in person, but first asked the porter
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: whether her husband, that is, mister Krasnovsky, has returned yet.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: If he has returned don't deliver the letter, but come back.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute. If she asks whether I have any
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: one here, tell her that there have been two gentlemen
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: here since eight o'clock writing something I droke t his
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Zannamensky Street. The porter told me that mister Krasnovsky had
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: not yet come in, and I made my way up
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: to the third story. The door was opened by a tall, stout,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: drab colored flunky with black whiskers, who, in a sleepy,
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: churlish and apathetic voice such as only flunkies use in
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: addressing other flunkies, asked me what I wanted. Before I
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: had time to answer, a lady dressed in black came
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: hurriedly into the hole. She screwed up her eyes and
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: looked at me. Is Zenaida Fyodorovna at home? I asked,
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: that is me? Said the lady a letter from Georgy Ivanitch.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: She tore the letter open impatiently and holding it in
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: both hands so that I saw her sparkling diamond rings.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: She began reading. I made out a pale face with
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: soft lines, a prominent chin, and long dark lashes. From
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: her appearance, I should not have judged the lady to
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: be more than five and twenty. Give him my thanks
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: and my greeting, she said, when she had finished the letter.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Is there any one with Georgi Ivanitch, she asked, softly,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: joyfully and as though ashamed of her mistrust two gentlemen,
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: I answered their writing something. Give him my greetings and thanks,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: she repeated, bending her head sideways and reading the letter
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: as she walked. She went noiselessly out. I saw few
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: women at that time, and this lady of whom I
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: had a passing glimpse, made an impression on me. As
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: I walked home, I recalled her face in the delicate
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: fragrance about her, and fell to dreaming. By the time
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I got home, Orlov had gone out. End of chapter one.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Recording by ex patriot in Bangor, Maine. Chapter two of
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: an anonymous story by Anton Tchekhov, translated by Constance Garnett
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: eighteen sixty one to nineteen forty six. This LibriVox recording
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: is in the public domain. Recording by ex Patriot in Bangor, Maine,
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Chapter two. And So my relations with my employer were
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: quiet and peaceful, but still the unclean and degrading element
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: which I so dreaded on becoming a footman was conspicuous
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: and made itself felt every day. I did not get
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: on with Polia. She was a well fed and pampered
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: hussy who adored orlov because he was a gentleman, and
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: despised me because I was a footman. Probably from the
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: point of view of a real flunky or cook, she
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: was fascinating with her red cheeks, her turned up nose,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: her coquettish glances, and the plumpness one might almost say
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: fatness of her person. She powdered her face, colored her
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: lips and eyebrows, laced herself in, and wore a bustle
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: and a bangle made of coins. She walked with little
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: ripping steps. As she walked, she swayed, or as they say,
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: wriggled her shoulders and back. The rustle of her skirts,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: the creaking of her stays, the jingle her bangle, and
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: the vulgar smell of lip salve, toilet vinegar and scent
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: stolen from her master aroused me whilst I was doing
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: the rooms with her in the morning, a sensation as
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: though I were taking part with her in some abomination,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: either because I did not steal as she did, or
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: because I displayed no desire to become her lover, which
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: she probably looked upon as an insult. Or perhaps she
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: felt that I was a man of a different order.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: She hated me from the very first day. My inexperience,
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: my appearance so unlike a flunky, and my illness seemed
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: to her pitiful and excited her disgust. I had a
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: bad cough at that time, and sometimes at night I
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: prevented her from sleeping, as our rooms were only divided
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: by a wooden partition, and every morning she said to
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: me again, you didn't let me sleep. You ought to
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: be in hospital instead of in service. She so genuinely
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: believed that I was hardly a human being, but something
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: infinitely below her, that like the Roman matrons who were
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: not ashamed to bathe before their slaves, she sometimes went
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: about in my presence in nothing but her chemise. Once,
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: when I was in a happy, dreamy mood, I asked
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: her at dinner, we had soup and roast meat sent
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: in from a restaurant every day, Paullia, do you believe
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: in God? Why? Of course, then I went on, you
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: believe there will be a day of judgment and that
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: we shall have to answer to God for every evil action.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: She gave me no reply, but simply made a contemptuous grimace.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: And looking that time at her cold eyes and over
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: fed expression, I realized that for her complete and finished personality,
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: no God, no conscience, no laws existed, and that if
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: I had had to set fire to the house to
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: murder or to rob, I could not have hired a
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: better accomplice. In my novel surroundings, I felt very uncomfortable
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: for the first week at Orlov's before I got used
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: to being addressed as thou and being constantly obliged to
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: tell lies, saying my master is not at home when
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: he was in my flunky's swallow tail. I felt as
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: though I were in armor, but I grew accustomed to
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: it in time. Like a genuine footman, I waited at table,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: tidied the rooms, ran and drove about on errands of
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: all sorts. When Orlov did not want to keep an
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: appointment with Zenaida Fyodorovna, or when he forgot that he
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: had promised to go and see her, I drove to
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Zenimensky street, put a letter into her hands, and told
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: a lie. And the result of it all was quite
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: different from what I had expected. When I became a footman.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Every day of this new life of mine was wasted
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: for me and my cause. As Orlof never spoke of
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: his father, nor did his visitors, And all I could
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: learn of the statesman's doings was as before. What I
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: could glean from the newspapers or from correspondence with my comrades.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: The hundreds of notes and papers I used to find
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: in the study and read had not the remotest connection
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: with what I was looking for. Orlof was absolutely uninterested
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: in his father's political work, and looked as though he
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: had never heard of it, or as though his father
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: had long been dead. End of chapter two. Recording by
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: expatriate in Bangor, Maine. Chapter three of an anonymous story
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: by Anton Chekhov, translated by Constance Garnett eighteen sixty one
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: to nineteen forty six. This librivat's recording is in the
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: public domain. Recording by expatriate in Bangor, Maine, Chapter three.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Every Thursday we had visitors, I ordered a piece of
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: roast beef from the restaurant, and telephone to Elisios to
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: send us caviare cheese, oysters, and so on. I bought
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: playing cards Pullia was busy all day getting ready the
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: tea things and the dinner service. To tell the truth,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: this spurt of activity came as a pleasant change in
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: our idle life, and Thursdays were for us the most
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: interesting days. Only three visitors used to come. The most
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: important and perhaps the most interesting, was the one called Pekarski,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: a tall, lean man of five and forty, with a
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: long hooked nose, with a big black beard and a
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: bald patch on his head. His eyes were large and prominent,
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: and his expression was grave and thoughtful, like that of
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: a Greek philosopher. He was on the board of management
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: of some railway, and also had some post in a bank.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: He was a consulting lawyer in some important government institution,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: and had business relations with a large number of private
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: persons as a trustee, chairman of committees and so on.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: He was of quite a low grade in the service,
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: and modestly spoke of himself as a lawyer, but he
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: had a vast influence. A note or card from him
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: was enough to make a celebrated doctor, a director of
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: a railway, or a great dignitary sea any one without waiting.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: And it was said that through his protection one might
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: obtain even a post of the fourth class and get
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: any sort of unpleasant business hushed up. He was looked
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: upon as a very intelligent man, but his was a strange,
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: peculiar intelligence. He was able to multiply two hundred thirteen
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: by three hundred seventy three in his head instantaneously, or
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: turn English pounds into German marks without help of pencil
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: or paper. He understood finanse and railway business thoroughly, and
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: the machinery of Russian administration had no secrets for him.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: He was a most skillful pleader in civil suits, and
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: it was not easy to get the better of him
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: at law. But that exceptional intelligence could not grasp many
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: things which are understood even by some stupid people. For instance,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: he was absolutely unable to understand why people are depressed,
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: why they weep, shoot themselves and even kill others, why
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: they fret about things that do not affect them personally,
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: and why they laugh when they read Gogol or Chadron.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Everything abstract, everything belonging to the domain of thought and feeling,
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: was to him boring and incomprehensible, like music to one
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: who has no ear. He looked at people simply from
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: the business point of view, and divided them into competent
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: and incompetent. No other classification existed for him. Honesty and
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: rectitude were only signs of competence. Drinking, gambling in debauchery
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: were permissible, but must not be allowed to interfere with business.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Believing in God was rather stupid, but religion ought to
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: be safe guarded, as the common people must have some
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: principle to restrain them, otherwise they would not work. Punishment
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: is only necessary as deterrent. There was no need to
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: go away for holidays, as it was just as nice
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: in town and so on. He was a widower and
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: had no children, but lived on a large scale as
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: though he had a family, and paid thousand roubles a
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: year for his flat. The second visitor, Kukushkin, an actual
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: civil counselor, though a young man, was short and was
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: conspicuous for his extremely unpleasant appearance, which was due to
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: the disproportion between his fat, puffy body and his lean
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: little face. His lips were puckered up suavely, and his
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: little trimmed mustaches looked as though they had been fixed
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: on with glue. He was a man with the manners
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: of a lizard. He did not walk, but as it were,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: crept along with tiny steps, squirming and sniggering, and when
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: he left he showed his teeth. He was a clerk
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: on special commissions and did nothing, though he received a
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: good salary, especially in the summer, when special and lucrative
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: jobs were found for him. He was a man of
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: personal ambition, not only to the marrow of his bones,
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: but more fundamentally, to the last drop of his blood.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: But even in his ambitions he was petty and did
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: not rely on himself, but was building his career on
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: the chance favor flung him by his superiors. For the
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: sake of obtaining some foreign decoration, or for the sake
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: of having his name mentioned in the newspapers as having
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: been present at some special service in the company of
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: other great personages. He was ready to submit to any
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: kind of humiliation, to beg to flatter, to promise. He
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: flattered Orlov and Pekarski from Cowardice because he thought they
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: were powerful. He flattered Polyia and me because we were
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: in the service of a powerful man. Whenever I took
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: off his fur coat, he tittered and asked me Stepan,
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: are you married? And then unseemly vulgarities, followed by way
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: of showing me special attention. Kukushkin flattered orloft's weaknesses, humored
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: his corrupted and blaise ways to please him. He affected
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: malicious raillery and atheism in his company, criticized person before
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: whom in other places he would slavishly grumble when at
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: supper they talked of love in women. He pretended to
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: be a subtle and perverse voluptuary. As a rule, one
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: may say, petersburg rakes are fond of talking of their
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: abnormal tastes. Some young actual civil counselor is perfectly satisfied
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: with the embraces of his cook, or of some unhappy
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: street walker on the Nevsky Prospect. But to listen to
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: him you would think he was contaminated by all the
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: vices of east and west, combined that he was an
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: honorary member of a dozen iniquitous secret societies, and was
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: already marked by the police. Kukushkin lied about himself in
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: an unconscionable way, and they did not exactly disbelieve him,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: but paid little heed to his incredible stories. The third
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: guest was Gruzin, the son of a worthy and learned
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: general a man of Orloff's age, with long hair, short
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: sighted eyes, and gold spectacles. I remember his long white
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: fingers that looked like a pianist, and indeed there was
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: something of a musician, of a virtuoso about his whole figure.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: The first violins and orchestras looked just like that. He
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: used to cough, suffered from migraine, and seemed invalidish and delicate.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: Probably at home he was dressed and undressed like a baby.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: He had finished at the College of Jurisprudence, and had
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: at first served in the Department of Justice. Then he
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: was transferred to the Senate. He left that and through patronage,
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: had received a post in the Department of Crown Estates,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: and had soon afterwards given that up. In my time
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: he was serving in Orlof's department. He was his head clerk,
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: but he said that he should soon exchange into the
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Department of Justice again. He took his duties and his
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: shifting about from one post to another with exceptional levity,
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: and when people talked before him seriously of grades in
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: the service, decorations salaries, he smiled good naturedly and repeated
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Prutkov's aphorism. It's only in the government service you learn
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: the truth. He had a little wife with a wrinkled face,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: who was very jealous of him, in five weedy looking children.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: He was unfaithful to his wife. He was only fond
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: of his children when he saw them, and on the
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: whole was rather indifferent to his family and made fun
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: of them. He and his family existed on credit, borrowing
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: wherever they could at every opportunity, even from his superiors
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: in the office and porters in people's houses. His was
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: a flabby nature. He was so lazy that he did
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: not care what became of himself, and drifted along heathens.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Where or why he was going, he went where he
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: was taken. If he was taken to some low haunt,
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: he went. If wine was set before him, he drank.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: If it were not put before him, he abstained. If
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: wives were abused in his presence, he abused his wife,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: declaring she had ruined his life. When wives were praised,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: he praised his and said, quite sincerely, I am very
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: fond of her poor thing. He had no fur coat
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: and always wore a rug which smelt of the nursery.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: When at supper he rolled balls of bread and drank
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: a great deal of red wine, absorbed in thought. Strange
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: to say, I used to feel almost certain that there
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: was something in him of which perhaps he had a
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: vague sense, though in the bustle and vulgarity of his
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: daily life he had not time to understand and appreciate it.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: He played a little on the piano. Sometimes he would
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: sit down at the piano, play a chord or two,
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: and begin singing softly, what does the coming day bring
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: to me? But at once, as though afraid, he would
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: get up and walk from the piano. The visitors usually
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: arrived about ten o'clock. They played cards in Orlov's study
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: and polia, and I handed them tea. It was only
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: on these occasions that I could gauge the full sweetness
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: of a flunky's life, standing for four or five hours
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: at the door, watching that no one's glass should be empty,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: changing the ash trays, running to the table to pick
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: up the chalk or a card when it was dropped,
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: and above all, standing waiting, being attentive, without venturing to speak,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: to cough, to smile. Is harder, I assure you, is
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: harder than the hardest of field labor I have stood
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: on watch at sea for four hours at a stretch
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: on stormy winter nights, and to my thinking, it is
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: an infinitely easier duty. They used to play cards till two,
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: sometimes till three o'clock at night, and then stretching, they
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: would go into the dining room to supper, or, as
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Orlof said, for a snack of something. At supper there
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: was conversation. He usually began by Orlov speaking with laughing eyes,
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: of some acquaintance, of some book he had lately been reading,
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: of a new appointment, or government's scheme. Kukushkin, always ingratiating,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: would fall into his tone, and what followed was, to me,
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: in my mood at that time, a revolting exhibition. The
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: irony of Orlof and his friends knew no bounds and
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: spared no one in nothing. If they spoke of religion,
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: it was with irony. They spoke of philosophy, of the
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: significance and object of life, irony again. If anyone began
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: about the peasantry, it was with irony. There is in
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: Petersburg a species of men whose specialty it is to
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: jeer at every aspect of life. They cannot even pass
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: by a starving man or a suicide without saying something vulgar.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: But Orlov and his friends did not jeer or make jokes.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: They talked ironically. They used to say that there was
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: no God and personality was completely lost at death. The
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: immortals only existed in the French academy. Real good did
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: not and could not possibly exist, as its existence was
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: conditional upon human perfection, which was a logical absurdity. Russia
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: was a country as poor and dull as Persia. The
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: intellectual class was hopeless, and Pekarski's opinion, the overwhelming majority
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: in it were incompetent persons good for nothing. The people
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: were drunken, lazy, thievish, and degenerate. We had no science,
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Our literature was uncouth. Our commerce rested on swindling, no
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: selling without cheating, and everything was in that style, and
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: everything was a subject for laughter. Towards the end of supper,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: the wine made them more good humored, and they passed
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: to more lively conversation. They laughed over Gruzin's family life,
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: over Kukushkin's conquests, or at Pekarski, who had they said
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: in his account book one page headed charity, in another
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: physiological necessities, They said, that no wife was faithful, that
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: there was no wife from whom one could not, with
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: practice obtain caresses without leaving her drawing room while her
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: husband was sitting in his study close by, that girls
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: in their teens were perverted and knew everything. Orlov had
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: preserved a letter of a schoolgirl of fourteen. On her
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: way home from school, she had hooked an officer on
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: the Nevsky, who had, it appears, taken her home with him,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: and had only let her go late in the evening,
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: and she hastened to write about this to her school
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: friend to share her joy with her. They maintained that
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: there was not, and never had been, such a thing
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: as moral purity, and that evidently it was unnecessary. Mankind
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: had so far done very well without it. A harm
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: done by so called vice was undoubtedly exaggerated. Vices which
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: are punished by our legal code, had not prevented Diogenes
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: from being a philosopher and a teacher. Caesar and Cicero
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: were profligates and at the same time great men. Kato,
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: in his old age married a young girl, and yet
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: he was regarded as a great ascetic and a pillar
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: of morality. At three or four o'clock, the party broke up,
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: or they went off together out of town or to
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Officers Street, to the house of a certain Varvara Osopovna,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: while I retired to my quarters and was kept awake
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: a long while by coughing and headache. End of chapter three.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Recording by expatriate in Bangor, Maine. Chapter four of an
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: anonymous story by Anton Tchekhov, translated by Constance Garnet eighteen
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: sixty one to nineteen forty six. The sleerivox recording is
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: in the public domain. Recording by expatriate in Bangor, Maine,
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: Chapter four. Three weeks after I entered Orloff's service Sunday morning,
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: I remember somebody rang the bell. It was not yet eleven,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: and Orlov was still asleep. I went to open the door.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: You can imagine my astonishment when I found a lady
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: in a veil standing at the door on the landing.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: Is Georgy Ivanitch up? She asked from her voice. I
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: recognized Zenaida Fyodorovna, to whom I had taken letters in
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Zanimensky Street. I don't remember whether I had time or
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: self possession to answer her. I was taken aback at
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: seeing her, and indeed she did not need my answer.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: In a flash, she had darted by me and filling
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: the hole with the fragrance of her perfume, which I
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: remember to this day. She went on and her footsteps
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: died away. For at least half an hour afterwards, I
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: heard nothing, but again some one rang. This time it
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: was a smartly dressed girl who looked like a maid
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: in a wealthy family, accompanied by our house porter. Both
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: were out of breath, carrying two truckunks in a dress basket.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: These are for Zenaida Fyodorovna, said the girl, and she
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: went down without saying another word. All this was mysterious
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: and made Polia, who had a deep admiration for the
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: pranks of her betters, smile slyly to herself. She looked
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: as though she would like to say, so, that's what
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: we're up to, and she walked about the whole time
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: on tiptoe. At last we heard footsteps. Zenaida Fyodorovna came
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: quickly into the hall, and, seeing me at the door
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: of my room, said step on, take Georghi Ivanitch's things.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: When I went into Orlov with his clothes in his boots,
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: he was sitting on the bed with his feet on
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: the bearskin rug. There was an air of embarrassment about
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: his whole figure. He did not notice me, and my
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: menial opinion did not interest him. He was evidently perturbed
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: and embarrassed before himself, before his inner eye. He dressed, washed,
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: and used his combs and brushes silently and deliberately, as
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: though allowing himself time to think over his position and
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: to reflect. And even from his back one could see
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: he was troubled and dissatisfied with himself. They drank coffee together.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Zenaida Fyodorovna poured out coffee for herself and for Orlov.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: Then she put her elbows on the table and laughed.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: I still can't believe it, she said. And one has
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: been a long while on one's travels and reaches a
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: hotel at last, it's difficult to believe that one hasn't
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: to go on. It is pleasant to breathe freely with
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: the expression of a child who very much wants to
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: be mischievous. She sighed with relief and laughed again. You
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: will excuse me, said Orlov, nodding towards the coffee. Reading
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: at breakfast is a habit, I can't get over, but
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: I can do two things at once, read and listen.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: Read away. You shall keep your habits in your freedom.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: But why do you look so solemn? Are you always
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: like that in the morning or is it only today?
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: Aren't you glad? Yes? I am, but I must own
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: I am a little overware. Why you had plenty of
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: time to prepare yourself for my descent upon you. I've
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: been threatening to come every day, yes, but I didn't
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: expect you to carry out your threat today. I didn't
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: expect it myself. But that's all the better. It's all
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: the better, my dear. It's best to have an aching
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: tooth out and have done with it. Yes, of course,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Oh my dear, she said, closing her eyes. All is well.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: That ends well. But before this happy ending, what suffering
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: there has been? My laughing means nothing. I am glad,
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: I am happy, but I feel more like crying than laughing.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Yesterday I had to fight a regular battle, she went
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: on in French. God alone knows how wretched I was,
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: But I laughed because I can't believe in it. I
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: keep fancying that my sitting here drinking coffee with you
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: is not real but a dream. Then, still speaking French,
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: she described how she had broken with her husband the
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: day before, and her eyes were alternately full of tears
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: and of laughter. While she with rapture at orloft. She
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: told him her husband had long suspected her, but had
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: avoided explanations. They had frequent quarrels, and usually at the
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: most heated moment, he would suddenly subside into silence and
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: depart to his study, for fear that in his exasperation,
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: he might give utterance to his suspicions, or she might
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: herself begin to speak openly. And she had felt guilty, worthless,
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: incapable of taking a bold and serious step, and that
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: had made her hate herself and her husband more every day,
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: and she had suffered the torments of hell. But the
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: day before, when during a quarrel, he had cried out
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: in a tearful voice, my God, when will it end,
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: and had walked off to his study, she had run
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: after him, like a cat after a mouse, and preventing
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: him from shutting the door, she had cried that she
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: hated him with her whole soul. Then he let her
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: come into the study, and she had told him everything,
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: had confessed that she loved someone else, that that some
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: one else was her real, most lawful husband, and that
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: she thought it her true duty to go away to
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: him that very day, whatever might happen, if she were
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: to be shot for it. There's a very romantic streak
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: in you, Orlov interrupted, keeping his eyes fixed on the newspaper.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: She laughed and went on talking without touching her coffee.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: Her cheeks glowed, and she was a little embarrassed by it,
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: and she looked in confusion at Polia and me. From
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: what she went on to say, I learned that her
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: husband had answered her with threats, reproaches, and finely tears,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: and that it would have been more accurate to say
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: that she and not he, had been the attacking party. Yes,
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: my dear, so long as I was worked up, everything
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: went all right, she told Orlov. But as night came on,
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: my spirits sank. You don't believe in God, George, But
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: I do believe a little, and I fear retribution. God
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: requires of us patience, magnanimity, self sacrifice. And here I
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: am refusing to be patient and want to remodel my
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: life to suit myself.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: Is that right?
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: What if from the point of view of God, it's wrong.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: At two o'clock in the night, my husband came to
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: me and said, you dare not go away, I'll fetch
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: you back through the police and make a scandal. And
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: soon afterwards I saw him like a shadow at my door.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: Have mercy on me. Your elopement may injure me in
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: the service. Those words had a coarse effect upon me
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: and made me feel stiff all over. I felt as
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: though the retribution were beginning already. I began crying and
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: trembling with terror. I felt as though the ceiling would
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: fall upon me, that I should be dragged off to
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: the police station at once, that you would grow cold
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: to me, all sorts of things. In fact, I thought
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: I would go into a nunnery or become a nurse,
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: and give up all thought of happiness. But then I
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: remembered that you loved me, and that I had no
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: right to dispose of myself without your knowledge. And everything
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: in my mind was in a tangle. I was in
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: despair and did not know what to do or think.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: But the sun rose and I grew happier. As soon
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: as it was morning. I dashed off to you, Ah,
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: what I've been through, dear one, I haven't slept for
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: two nights. She was tired out and excited. She was sleepy,
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: and at the same time she wanted to talk endlessly,
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: to laugh and to cry, and to go to a
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: restaurant to lunch, that she might feel her freedom. You
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: have a cozy flat, but I am afraid it may
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: be small for the two of us, she said, walking
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: rapidly through all the rooms. When they had finished breakfast,
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: What room will you give me? I like this one
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: because it is next to your study. At one o'clock
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: she changed her dress in the room next to the study,
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: which from that time she called hers, and she went
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: off with Orloft to lunch. They dined, too, at a restaurant,
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: and spent the long interval between lunch and dinner in
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: shopping till late at night I was opening the door
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: to messengers and errand boys. From the shops, they bought,
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: among other things, a splendid pier glass, a dressing table,
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: a bedstead, and a gorgeous tea service, which we did
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: not need. They bought a regular collection of copper saucepans,
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: which we set in a row on the shelf in
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: our cold empty kitchen. As we were unpacking the tea service.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: Polia's eyes gleamed, and she looked at me two or
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: three times with hatred and fear that I not she
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: would be the first to steal one of these charming cups.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: A lady's writing table, very expensive and inconvenient, came too.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: It was evident that Zenaida Fyodorovna contemplated settling with us
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: for good, and meant to make the flat her home.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: She came back with Orlov between nine and ten, full
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: of proud consciousness as she had done something bold and
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: out of the common, passionately in love and as she imagined,
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: passionately loved. Exhausted, looking forward to a sweet sound sleep,
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Zanaida Fyodorovna was reveling in her new life. She squeezed
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: her hands together in the excess of her joy, declared
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: that everything was delightful, and swore that she would love
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: orlof forever. And these vows and the naive, almost childish
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: confidence that she too was deeply loved and would be
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: loved forever, made her at least five years younger. She
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: talked charming nonsense and laughed at herself. There's no other
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: blessing greater than freedom, she said, forcing herself to say
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: something serious and edifying. How absurd it is when you
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: think of it. We attached no value to our own opinion,
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: even when it is wise, but trembled before the opinion
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: of all sorts of stupid people. Up to the last minute,
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: I was afraid of what other people would say. But
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: as soon as I followed my own instinct and made
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: up my mind to go my own way, my eyes
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: were opened. I overcame my silly fears, and now I
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: am happy and wish everyone could be as happy. But
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: her thoughts immediately took another turn, and she began talking
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: of another flat of wallpapers, horses, a trip to Switzerland
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: and Italy. Orlof was tired by the restaurants and the shop,
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: and was still suffering from the same uneasiness that I
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: had noticed in the morning. He smiled, but more from
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: politeness than pleasure, and when she spoke of anything seriously,
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: he agreed ironically. Oh, yes, Stepan, make haste and find
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: us a good cook. She said to me, there's no
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: need to be in a hurry over the kitchen arrangements
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: at orlov looking at me coldly. We must first move
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: into another flat. We had never had cooking done at home,
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: nor kept horses, because, as he said, he did not
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: like disorder about him, and only put up with having
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: pollia in me in his flat from necessity. The so
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: called domestic hearth, with its every day joys and its
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: petty cares, offended his taste as vulgarity. To be with child,
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: or to have children and talk about them was bad form,
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: like a petty bourgeois. And I began to feel very
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: curious to see how these two creatures would get on
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: together in one flat. She domestic and home loving, with
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: her copper sauce bands and her dreams of a good
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: cook in horses, and he fond of saying to his
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: friends that a decent and orderly man's flat ought like
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: a warship to have nothing in it superfluous, no women,
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: no children, no rags, no kitchen utensils. End of chapter four.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: Recording by expatriate in Bangor, Maine. Chapter five of an
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: anonymous story by Anton Chekhov, translated by Constance Garnett eighteen
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: sixty one to nineteen forty six. This LibriVox recording is
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: in the public domain. Recording by expatriate in Bangor, Maine.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: Chapter five. Then I will tell you what happened the
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: following Thursday. That day, Zenaida Fyodorovna dined at Contents or
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: Donon's Orloff returned home alone, and Zenaida Fyoda Karovna, as
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: I learnt, afterwards, went to the Petersburg side to spend
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: with her old governess. The time visitors were with us,
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: Orlov did not care to show her to his friends.
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: I realized that at breakfast, when he began assuring her
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: that for the sake of her peace of mind, it
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: was essential to give up his Thursday evenings as usual.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: The visitors arrived at almost the same time. Is your
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: mistress at home too, Kukushkin asked me in a whisper, No, sir,
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: I answered. He went in with a sly oily look
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: in his eyes, smiling mysteriously, rubbing his hands, which were
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: cold from the frost. I have the honor to congratulate you,
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: he said to Orlov, shaking all over with ingratiating obsequious laughter.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: May you increase in multiply like the cedars of Lebanon.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: The visitors went into the bedroom and were extremely joe
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: KOs on the subject of a pair of feminine slippers.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: The rug that had been put down between the two beds,
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: and a gray dressing jacket that hung at the foot
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: to the bedstead. They were amused that the obstinate man
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: who despised all the commonplace details of love had been
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: caught in feminine snares in such a simple and ordinary way.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: He who pointed the finger of scorn is bowing the
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: knee in Homagekkushkin repeated several times he had, I may say,
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: in parenthesis, an unpleasant habit of adorning his conversation with
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: texts in church slavonk sh. He said, as they went
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: from the bedroom into the room next to the study, shh,
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: Here Gretchen is dreaming of her faust. He went off
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: into a peal of laughter, as though he had said
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: something very amusing. I watched Gruzin, expecting that his musical
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: soul would not endure this laughter, But I was mistaken.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: His thin, good natured face beamed with pleasure. When they
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: sat down to play cards, he lisping and choking with laughter,
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: said that all the dear George wanted to complete his
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: domestic felicity was a cherrywood pipe and a guitar. Pekarski
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: laughed sedately, but From his serious expression, one could see
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: that Orlov's new love affair was distasteful to him. He
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: did not understand what had happened exactly. But how about
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: the husband? He asked in perplexity, after they had played
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: three rubbers, I don't know, answered Orlov. Pekarsky combed his
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: big beard with his fingers and sank into thought, and
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: he did not speak again till supper time. When they
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: were seated at supper, he began deliberately drolling every word altogether.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: Excuse my saying, so I don't understand either of you.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: You might love each other and break the seventh commandment
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: to your heart's content that I understand. Yes, that's comprehensible,
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: But why make the husband a party to your secrets?
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: Was there any need for that? But does it make
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: any difference? Hm? Pekarski mused, Well, then let me tell
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: you this, my friend. He went on, evidently, thinking hard.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: If I ever marry again and you take it into
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: your head to seduce my wife, please do it so
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: that I don't notice it. It's much more honest to
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: deceive a man than to break up his family life
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: and injure his reputation. I understand you both imagine that
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: in living together openly, you are doing something exceptionally honorable
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: in advanced But I can't agree with that. What shall
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: I call it? A romantic attitude? Orlov made no reply.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: He was out of humor and disinclined to talk. Pekarski,
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: still perplexed, drummed on the table with his fingers, thought
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: a little, and said, I don't understand you all the same.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: You are not a student, and she is not a dressmaker.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: You are both of you people with means. I should
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: have thought you might have arranged a separate flat for her. No,
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: I couldn't read Turgenev. Why should I read him? I
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: have read him already. Turgenev teaches us in his novels
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: that every exalted, noble minded girl should follow the man
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: she loves to the end of the earth and should
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: serve his idea, said Orlov, screwing up his eyes. Ironically,
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: the ends of the earth earth our poetic license. The
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: earth and all its ends can be reduced to the
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: flat of the man she loves. And so not to
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: live in the same flat with a woman who loves
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: you is to deny her her exalted vocation, and to
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: refuse to share her ideals. Yes, my dear fellow, Turgeneff wrote,
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: and I have to suffer for it. What Turgenief has
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: got to do with it, I don't understand, said Gruzin softly,
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: and he shrugged his shoulders. Do you remember, George, how
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: in three meetings he is walking late in the evening
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: somewhere in Italy and suddenly hears PIENI pinsando ame segretamente
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: gruzen Hund. It's fine, but she hasn't come to settle
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: with you by force, said Pekarski. It was your own wish.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: What next? Far from wishing it, I never imagined that
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: this would ever happen. When she said she was coming
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: to live with me, I thought it was a charming
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: joke on her part. Everybody laughed. I couldn't have wished
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: for such a thing, said Orlov, in the tone of
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: a man compelled to justify himself. I am not a
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: Turgenev hero, And if I ever wanted to free Bulgaria,
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't need a lady's company. I look upon love
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: primarily as a necessity of my physical nature, degrading and
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: antagonistic to my spirit. It must either be satisfied with
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: discretion or renounced altogether. Otherwise it will bring into one's
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: life elements as unclean as itself. For it to be
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: an enjoyment and not a torment, I will try to
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: make it beautiful and to surround it with a mass
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: of illusions. I should never go and see a woman
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: unless I were sure beforehand that she would be beautiful
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: and fascinating. And I should never go unless I were
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: in the mood. And it is only in that way
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: that we succeed in deceiving one another and fancying that
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: we are in love and happy. But can I wish
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: for copper saucepans and untidy hair, or like to be
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: seen myself when I am unwashed or out of humor?
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: The night to Fyodorovna, in the simplicity of her heart,
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: wants me to love what I have been shunning all
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: my life. She wants my flat to smell of cooking
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: and washing up. She wants all the fuss of moving
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: into another flat, of driving about with her own horses.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: She wants to count over my linen and to look
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: after my health. She wants to meddle in my personal
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: life at every instant, and to watch over every step,
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: and at the same time she assures me genuinely that
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: my habits and my freedom will be untouched. She has
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: persuaded that, like a young couple, we shall very soon
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: go for a honeymoon. That is, she wants to be
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: with me all the time in trains and hotels, while
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: I like to read on the journey and cannot endure
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: talking in trains. You should give her a talking to,
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: said Pekarski. What do you suppose she would understand me?
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Why we think so differently. In her opinion, to leave
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: one's papa and mamma, or one's husband for the sake
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: of the man one loves is the height of civic virtue,
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: while I look upon it as childish to fall in
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: love and run away with a man. To her means
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: beginning a new life, while to my mind it means
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: nothing at all. Love and man constitute the chief interest
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: of her life, and possibly it is the philosophy of
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: the unconscious at work in her. Try and make her
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: believe that love is only a simple physical need, like
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: the need of food or clothes, That it doesn't mean
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: the end of the world if wives and husbands are unsatisfactory,
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: that a man may be a profligate and a libertine,
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: and yet a man of honor and a genius, and
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: that on the other hand, one may abstain from the
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: pleasures of love and at the same time be a stupid,
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: vicious animal. The civilized man of today, even among the
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: lower classes. For instance, the French workman spends ten sous
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: on dinner, five sous on his wine, and five or
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: ten sues on woman, and devotes his brain and nerves
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: entirely to his work. But Zenaida Fyodorovna assigns to love,
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: not so many zeus, but her whole soul. I might
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: give her a talking to, but she would raise a
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: wail and answer and declare in all sincerity that I
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: had ruined her, that she had nothing left to live for.
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: Don't say anything to her, said Pekarski, but simply take
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: a separate flat for her. That's all. Well, that's easy
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: to say. There was a brief silence. But she is charming,
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: said Kukushkin. She is exquisite. Such women imagine that they
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: will be in love forever and abandon themselves with tragic intensity.
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: But one must keep ahead on one's shoulder, said Orlov.
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: One must be reasonable. All experience gained from everyday life,
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: and handed down in innumerable novels and plays uniformly confirms
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: the fact that adultery and cohabitation of any sort between
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: decent people never lasts longer than two or at most
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: three years. However great the love may have been at
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: the beginning that she ought to know, And so all
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: this business of moving of saucepans, hopes of eternal love
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: and harmony are nothing but a desired to delude herself
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: and me. She is charming and exquisite. Who denies it?
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: But she has turned my life upside down. What I
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: have regarded as trivial and nonsense sensacle till now she
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: has forced me to raise to the level of a
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: serious problem. I serve an idol whom I have never
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: looked upon as God. She is charming, exquisite, But for
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: some reason now when I am going home, I feel uneasy,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: as though I expected to meet with something inconvenient at home,
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: such as workmen pulling the stove to pieces and blocking
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: up the place with heaps of bricks. In fact, I
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: am no longer giving up to love a soue, but
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: part of my peace of mind and my nerves, and
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: that's bad. And she doesn't hear this, villain, sighed Kukushkin,
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: My dear sir, he said theatrically, I will relieve you
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: from the burdensome obligation to love that adorable creature. I
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: will rest Zenaida Fyodorovna from you. You may said orlov carelessly.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: For half a minute. Kukushkin laughed, a shrill, little laugh,
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: shaking all over. Then he said, look out, I am
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: in earnest. Don't you play the othello. Afterwards, they all
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: began talking of Kukushkin's indefatigable energy gian love affairs, how
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: irresistible he was to women, and what a danger he
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: was to husbands, and how the devil would roast him
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: in the other world for his immorality. In this. He
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: screwed up his eyes and remained silent, And when the
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: names of ladies of their acquaintance were mentioned, he held
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: up his little finger as though to say, they mustn't
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: give away other people's secrets orlof suddenly looked at his watch.
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: His friends understood and began to take their leave. I
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: remember that Gruzin, who was a little drunk, was wearisomely long.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: In getting off, he put on his coat, which was
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: cut like children's coats and poor families, pulled up the
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: collar and began telling some long winded story. Then, seeing
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: he was not listened to, he flung the rug that
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: smelt of the nursery over one shoulder, and with a
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: guilty and imploring face, begged me to find his hat. George,
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: my angel, he said, tenderly, do as I ask you,
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: dear boy, come out of town with us. You can go,
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: but I can. I am in the position of a
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: married man. Now she is a dear She won't be angry,
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: my dear chief, come along. It's glorious weather. There's snow
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: and frosts. Upon my word, you want shaking up a bit.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: You are out of humor. I don't know what the
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: devil is the matter with you? Orlov stretched yawned and
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: looked at Pekarski. Are you going? He said, hesitating, I
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: don't know. Perhaps shall I get drunk? All right, I'll come,
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: said Orlov, after some hesitation. Wait a minute, I'll get
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: some money. He went into the study, and Gruzin slouched
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: in too, dragging his rug after him. A minute later,
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: both came back into the hole. Grusin a little drunk
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: and very pleased, with crumpling a ten rouble note in
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: his hands. We'll settle up tomorrow, he said. And she
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: is kind, she won't be cross. She is my Lisotchka's godmother.
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: I am fond of her, poor thing. Ah, my dear fellow,
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: he laughed, joyfully, and pressing his forehead on Pekarsky's back. Ah, Pekarsky,
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: my dear soul. Ado katissimus as dry as a biscuit,
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: But you bet he is fond of women, fat, one
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: said Orlov, putting on his fur coat. But let us
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: get off, or we shall be meeting her on the doorstep.
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: Yeni pensando Ame, it's a great amente, hummed Gruzin. At
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: last they drove off Orlov did not sleep at home,
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: and return next day at dinner time. End of chapter five.
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: Recording by ex patriot in Bangor Main Chapter six of
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: an anonymous story by Anton Chekhov, translated by Constance Garnet
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: eighteen sixty one to nineteen forty six. This LibriVox recording
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: is in the public domain. Recording by ex patriot in
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: Bangor Main, Chapter six, Zenaida Fyodorovna had lost her gold watch,
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: a present from her father. This loss surprised and alarmed her,
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: and half a day going through the rooms, looking helplessly
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: on all the tables and on all the windows, but
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: the watch had disappeared completely. Only three days afterwards, Zinnia Fyodorovna,
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: on coming in, left her purse in the hole. Luckily
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: for me, on that occasion it was not I but
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: Polia who helped her off with her coat. When the
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: purse was missed, it could not be found in the hole, strange,
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: said Zenaida Fyodorovna in bewilderment. I distinctly remember taking it
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: out of my pocket to pay the cabman, and then
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: I put it here near the looking glass. It's very odd.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: I had not stolen it, but I felt as though
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: I had stolen it and had been caught in the theft.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: Tears actually came into my eyes. When they were seated
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: at dinner, Zenida Fyodorovna said to Orlov in French, there
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: seemed to be spirits in the flat. I lost my
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: purse in the hole to day, and now lo and behold,
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: it is on my table. But it's not quite a
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: disinterested trick. Of the spirits, they took out a gold
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: coin in twenty roubles. Notes. You are always losing something,
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: first at your watch, and then it's your money, said Orlov.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: Why is it nothing of the sort ever happens to me?
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: A minute later, Azannda Fyodorovna had forgotten the trick played
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: by the spirits and was telling with a laugh how
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: the week before she had ordered some notepaper and had
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: forgotten to give her new address, and the shop had
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: sent the paper to her old home at her husband's,
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: who had to pay twelve roubles for it. And suddenly
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: she turned her eyes on Polia and looked at her intently.
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: She blushed as she did so, and was so confused
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: that she began talking of something else. When I took
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: in the coffee to the study, Orlov was standing with
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: his back to the fire, and she was sitting in
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: an arm chair facing him. I am not in a
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: bad temper at all, she was saying in French. But
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: I have been putting things together, and now I see
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: it clearly. I can give you the day and the
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: hour when she stole my watch and the purse. There
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: can be no doubt about it. Oh, she laughed as
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: she took the coffee from me. Now I understand why
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: I'm on always losing my handkerchiefs and gloves. Whatever you say,
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: I shall dismiss the Magpie tomorrow and send step On
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: from my Sofya. She is not a thief and has
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: not got such a repulsive appearance. You are out of humor.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow you will feel differently and will realize that you
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: can't discharge people simply because you suspect them. It's not suspicion,
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: it's certainty, said Zenaida Fyodorovna. So long as I suspected
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: that unhappy faced, poor looking valet of yours, I said nothing.
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: It's too bad of you not to believe me, George.
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: If we think differently about anything, it doesn't follow that
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: I don't believe you. You may be right, said Orlov, turning
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: round and flinging his cigarette end into the fire. But
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: there is no need to be excited about it anyway.
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: In fact, I must say, I never expected my humble
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: establishment would cause you so much serious worry and agitation.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: You've lost a gold coin, never mind, you may have
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: a hundred of mine. But to change my habits, to
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: pick up a new housemaid, to wait till she is
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: used to the place. All that's a tedious, tiring business
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: and does not suit me. Our present made certainly is
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: fat and has perhaps a weakness for gloves and handkerchiefs.
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: But she is perfectly well behaved, well trained, and does
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: not shriek when Kukushkin pinches her. You mean that you
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: can't part with her? Why don't you say so? Are
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: you jealous? Yes, I am, said Zenaida Fyodorovna, decidedly, thank you. Yes,
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: I am jealous, she repeated, and tears glistened in her eyes. No,
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: it's something worse, which I find it difficult to find
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: a name for. She pressed her hands on her temples
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: and went on impulsively. You men are so disgusting, it's horrible.
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: I see nothing horrible about it. I've not seen it.
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but they say that you men begin
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: with housemaids as boys and get so used to it
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: that you feel no repugnance. I don't know. I don't know,
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: but I have actually read George. Of course you are right,
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: she said, going up to Orlov and changing to a
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: caressing and imploring tone. Ilium out of humor today. But
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: you must understand I can't help it. She disgusts me,
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: and I am afraid of her. It makes me miserable
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: to see her. Surely you can rise above such paltriness
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: that Orlov shrugging his shoulders in perplexity and walking away
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: from the fire. Nothing could be simpler. Take no notice
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: of her, and then she won't disgust you, and you
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: won't need to make a regular tragedy out of a trifle.
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: I went out of the study, and I don't know
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: what answer Orlov received, whatever it was, Polia remained after that.
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: Zeneida Fyodorovna never applied to her for anything, and evidently
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: tried to dispense with her services. When Polia handed her
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: anything or even passed by her, jingling her bangle and
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: rustling her skirts, she shuddered. I believe that if Grusine
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: or Pekarski had asked Orlov to dismiss Polia, he would
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: have done so without the slightest hesitation, without troubling about
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: any explanations. He was easily persuaded, like all in different people,
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: But in his relations with Zenaida Fyodorovna he displayed, for
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: some reason, even in trifles, an obstinacy which sometimes was
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: almost irrational. I knew beforehand that if Zenaida Fyodorovna liked anything,
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: it would be certain not to please Orlov. When on
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: coming in from shopping she made haste to show him
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: with pride some new purchase, he would glance at it
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: and say coldly that the more unnecessary objects they had
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: in the flat, the less aira it would be. It
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: sometimes happened that after putting on his dress clothes to
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: go out somewhere, and after saying goodbye to Zanaida Fyodorovna,
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: he would suddenly change his mind and remain at home.
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: From sheer perversity. I used to think that he remained
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: at home then, simply in order to feel injured. Why
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: are you staying, said Zenaida Fyodorovna, with a show of vexation,
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: though at the same time she was radiant with delight.
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: Why do you You are not accustomed to spending your
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: evenings at home, and I don't want you to alter
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: your habits on my life. Do go out as usual
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: if you don't want me to feel guilty. No one
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: is blaming you, said Orlov with the air of a victim.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: He stretched himself in his easy chair in the study
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: and shading his eyes with his hand took up a book,
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: but soon the book dropped from his hand. He turned
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: heavily in his chair and again screened his eyes as
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: though from the sun. Now he felt annoyed that he
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: had not gone out. May I come in, Senaida Fyodorovna
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: would say, coming irresolutely into the study? Are you reading?
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: I felt dull by myself and have come just for
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: a minute to have a peep at you. I remember
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: one evening she went in like that, irresolutely and inappropriately,
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: and sank on the rug at Orlov's feet, And from
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: her soft, timid movements, one could see that she did
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: not understand his mood and was afraid. You were always reading,
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: She said, cajolingly, evidently wishing to flatter him. Do you know, George,
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: what is one of the secrets of your success? You
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: are very clever and well read. What book have you there?
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: Orlov answered? A silence followed for some minutes, which seemed
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: to me very long. I was standing in the drawing room,
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: from which I could watch them, and was afraid of coughing.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: There's something I wanted to tell you, said Senaida Fyodorovna,
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: and she laughed, Shall I very likely you'll laugh and
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: say that I flatter myself. You know, I want, I
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: want horribly to believe that you are staying at home
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: to night for my sake, that we might spend the
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: evening together. Yes, may I think so, do, he said,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: screening his eyes. The really happy man is he who
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: thinks not only of what is, but of what is not.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: That was a long sentence which I did not quite understand.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: You mean happy people live in their imagination. Yes, that's true.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: I'd love to sit in your study in the evening
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: and let my thoughts carry me far far away. It's
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: pleasant sometimes to dream. Let us dream aloud, George, I've
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: never been at a girl's boarding school. I never learned
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: the art. You are out of humor, said Zenaida Fyodorovna,
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: taking Orlof's hand. Tell me why when you are like that?
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: I'm afraid I don't know whether your head aches or
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: whether you are angry with me. Again, there was a
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: silence lasting several long minutes. Why have you changed, she
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: said softly? Why are you never so tender or so
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: gay as you used to be as in Amensky Street.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: I've been with you almost a month, but it seems
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: to me as though we had not yet begun to live,
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: and have not yet talked of anything as we ought to.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: You always answer me with jokes, or else with a long,
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: cold lecture, like a teacher. And there is something cold
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: in your jokes. Why have you given up talking to
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: me seriously? I always talk seriously. Well, then let's talk,
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: for God's sake, George, shall we certainly? But about what?
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: Let us talk of our life, of our future, said
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: Zenaida Fyodorovna dreamily. I keep making plans for our life,
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: plans and plans, and I enjoy doing it. So, George,
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: I'll begin with the question, when are you going to
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: give up your post? What or asked Orlov, taking his
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: hand from his forehead, With your views, you cannot remain
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: in the service. You are out of place there, my views,
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: Orloff repeated my views in conviction and temperament. I am
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: an ordinary official, one of Schdrin's heroes. You take me
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: for something different, I venture to assure you. Joking again, George,
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: not in the least. The service does not satisfy me. Perhaps,
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: but anyway it is better for me than anything else.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: I am used to it, and in it I meet
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: men of my own sort. I am in my place
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: there and find it tolerable. You hate the service and
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: it revolts you. Indeed, if I resign my post, take
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: to dreaming aloud and letting myself be carried away into
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: another world, do you suppose that that world would be
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: less hateful to me than the service? You are ready
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: to libel yourself in order to contradict me. The night
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: of Fyodorovna was offended and got up. I am sorry
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: I began this talk. Why are you angry? I am
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: not angry with you for not being every One lives
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: as he likes best. Why do you live as you
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: like best? Are you free to spend your life writing
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: documents that are opposed to your own ideas? Zenaida Fyodorovna
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: went on, clasping her hands in despair. To submit to authority,
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: congratulate your superiors at the new Year, and then cards
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: and nothing but cards. Worst of all, to be working
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: for a system which must be distasteful to you. No, George, no,
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: you should not make such horrid jokes. It's dreadful. You
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: are a man of ideas, and you ought to be
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: working for your ideas and nothing else. You really take
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: me for quite a different person from what I am,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: sighed Orlov say simply that you don't want to talk
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: to me. You dislike me, that's all, said Zenaida Fyodorovna
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: through her tears. Look here, my dear, said Orlov admonishingly,
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: sitting up in his chair. You were pleased to observe
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: yourself that I am a clever, well read man, and
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: to teach one who knows does nothing but harm. I
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: know very well all the ideas great and small, which
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: you mean when you call me a man of ideas.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: So if I prefer the service and cards to those ideas,
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: you may be sure I have good grounds for it.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: That's one thing. Secondly, you have, so far as I know,
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: never been in the service, and can only have drawn
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: your ideas of government service from anecdotes and indifferent novels.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: So it would not be amiss for us to make
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: a compact once for all, not to talk of things
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: we know already, or of things about which we are
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: not competent to speak. Why do you speak to me
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: like that, said Zenaida Fyodorovna, stepping back, as though in horror.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: What for George, for God's sake, think of what you
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: are saying? Her voice quivered and broke. She was evidently
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: trying to restrain her tears, but she suddenly broke into sobs. George,
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: my darling, I am perishing, she said in French, dropping
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: down before Orlov and laying her head on his knees.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: I am miserable, I am exhausted. I can't bear it.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: I can't bear it in my childhood, my hateful, depraved stepmother.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: Then my husband. Now you, you, you meet my mad
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: love with coldness and irony, and that horrible insolent servant.
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: She went on, sobbing, Yes, yes, I see. I am
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: not your wife nor your friend, but a woman you
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: don't respect because she has become your mistress. I shall
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: kill myself. I had not expected that her words in
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: her tears would make such an impression on Orlov. He flushed,
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: moved uneasily in his chair, and instead of irony, his
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: face wore a look of stupid, schoolboyish dismay. My darling,
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: you misunderstand me, he muttered, helplessly, touching her hair and
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: her shoulders. Forgive me, I entreat you. I was unjust,
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: and I hate myself. I insult you with my whining
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: and complaints. You are a true generous, rare man. I
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: am conscious of it every minute, but I've been horribly
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: depressed for the last few days the night of Fyodorovna
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: impulsively embraced Orlov and kissed him on the cheek. Only, please,
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: don't cry, he said. No, No, I've had my cry,
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: and now I am better. As for the servants, she
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: shall be gone tomorrow, he said, still moving uneasily in
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: his chair. No, she must stay, George, do you hear
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: I am not afraid of her. Now. One must rise
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: above trifles and not imagine silly things. You are right,
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: you are a wonderful, rare person. She soon left off, crying,
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: with tears glistening on her eyelashes. Sitting on Orlov's knee,
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: she told him in a low voice, something touching, something
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: like a reminiscence of childhood and youth. She stroked his face,
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: kissed him, and carefully examined his hands with the rings
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: on them and the charms on his watch. Jane, she
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: was carried away by what she was saying and by
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: being near the man she loved, and probably because her
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: tears had cleared and refreshed her soul, there was a
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: note of wonderful candor and sincerity in her voice. And
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: Orlov played with her chestnut hair and kissed her hands
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: noiselessly pressing them to his lips. Then they had tea
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: in the study, and Zenaida Fyodorovna read aloud some letters.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: Soon after midnight they went to bed. I had a
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: fearful pain in my side that night, and I could
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: not get warm or go to sleep till morning. I
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: could hear Orlov go from the bedroom into his study.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: After sitting there about an hour, he rang the bell.
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: In my pain and exhaustion, I forgot all the rules
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: and conventions and went to his study in my night attire, barefooted. Orlof,
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: in his dressing gown and cap, was standing in the doorway,
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: waiting for me. When you are sent for, you should
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: come dressed, he said, sternly, bring some fresh candles. I
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: was about to apologize, but suddenly broke into a violent
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: cough and clutched at the side of the door to
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: save myself from falling. Are you ill, said Orlof. I
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: believe it was the first time of our acquaintance that
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: he addressed me, not in the singular. Goodness knows why,
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: most likely in my night clothes and with my face
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: distorted by coughing. I played my part poorly and was
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: very little, like a flunkey. If you are ill, why
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: do you take a place? He said, that I may
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: not die of starvation. I answered, how disgusting it all is, really,
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: he said softly, Going up to his table, while hurriedly
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: getting into my coat, I put up in lighted fresh candles.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: He was sitting at the table with feet stretched out
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: on a low chair, cutting a book. I left him
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: deeply engrossed, and the book did not drop out of
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: his hands, as I had done in the evening end
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: of chapter six. Recording by expatriot in Bangor, Maine. Chapter
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: seven of an anonymous story by Anton Chekhov, translated by
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: Constance Garnett eighteen sixty one to nineteen forty six. The
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: s liveyvox recording is in the public domain. Recording by
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: Expatriate in Bangor, Maine, Chapter seven. Now that I am
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: writing these lines, I am restrained by that dread of
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: appearing sentimental and ridiculous in which I have been trained
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: from childhood. When I want to be affectionate or to
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: say anything tender, I don't know how to be natural
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: and It is that dread, together with lack of practice,
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: that prevents me from being able to express with perfect
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: clearness what was passing in my soul at that time.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: I was not in love with Zenaida Fyodorovna, but in
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: the ordinary human feeling I had for her, there was
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: far more youth, freshness and joyousness than in Orlov's love.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: As I worked in the morning, cleaning boots or sweeping
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: the rooms, I waited with a thrill at my heart
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: for the moment when I should hear her voice and
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: her footsteps. To stand watching her as she drank her
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: coffee in the morning, or ate her lunch, To hold
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: her fur coat for her in the hall, and to
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: put the galoshes on her little feet while she rested
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: her hand on my shoulder. Then to wait till the
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: whole porter rang up for me to meet her at
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: the door, cold and rosy powdered with the snow, to
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: listen to her brief exclamations about the frost or the cabman. Oh,
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: if only you knew how much all that meant to me.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: I longed to be in love, to have a wife
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: and child of my own. I wanted my future wife
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: to have just such a face, such a voice. I
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: dreamed of it at dinner and in the street, when
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: I was sent on some errand, and when I lay
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: awake at night, orlof rejected with disgust, children cooking copper
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: saucepans and feminine knick knacks, and I gathered them all
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: up tenderly, cherished them in my dreams, loved them and
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: begged them of destiny. I had visions of a wife,
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: a nursery, a little house with garden paths. I knew
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: that if I did love her, I could never dare
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: hope for the miracle of her returning my love. But
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: that reflection did not worry me. In my quiet, modest feeling,
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: akin to ordinary affection, there was no jealousy of Orlov,
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: or even envy of him, since I realized that for
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: a wreck like me, happiness was only to be found
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: in dreams. When Zenaida Fyodorovna sat up night after night
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: for her George, looking immovably at a book of which
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: she never turned a page, or when she shuddered and
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: turned pale at Poulia's crossing the room, I suffered with her,
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 1: and the idea occurred to me, to Lance this festering
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: wound as quickly as possible by letting her know what
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: was said here at supper on Thursdays. But how was
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: it to be done? More and more often I saw
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: her tears. For the first week, she laughed and sang
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: to herself even when Orlov was not at home. But
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: by the second month there was a mournful stillness in
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: our flat broken only on Thursday evenings she flattered Orlov
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: and to wring from him a counterfeit smile or kiss,
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: was ready to go on her knees to him, to
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: fawn on him like a dog. Even when her heart
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: was heaviest, she could not resist glancing into a looking
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: glass if she passed one in straightening her hair. It
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: seemed strange to me that she could still take an
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: interest in clothes and go into ecstasies over her purchases.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: It did not seem in keeping with her genuine grief.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: She paid attention to the fashions and ordered expensive dresses,
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: what for on whose account? I particularly remember one dress
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: which costs four hundred roubles. To give four hundred roubles
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: for an unnecessary, useless dress, while women, for their hard
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: day's work get only twenty copecks a day without food,
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: and the makers of venice and Brussels lace are only
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: paid half a franc a day on the supposition that
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: they can earn the rest by immorality. And it seems
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: strange to me that Zenaida Fyodorovna was not conscious of it.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: It vexed me, But she had only to go out
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: of the house for me, to find excuses and explanations
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: for everything, and to be waiting eagerly for the whole
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: porter to ring for me. She treated me as a flunky,
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: a being of a lower order. One may pat a
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: dog and yet not notice it. I was given orders
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: and asked questions, but my presence was not observed. My
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: master and mistress thought it unseemly to say more to
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: me than is usually said to servants. If when waiting
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 1: at dinner, I had laughed or put in my word
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: in the conversation, they would certainly have thought I was
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: mad and have dismissed me. Senaida Fyodorovna was favorably disposed
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 1: to me all the same. When she was sending me
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: on some errand, or explaining to me the working of
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: a new lamp or anything of that sort, her face
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 1: was extraordinarily kind, frank and cordial, and her eyes looked
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: me straight in the face. At such moments I always fancied.
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 1: She remembered with gratitude how I used to bring her
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: letters to Zanamensky Street when she rang the bell. Polia,
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: who considered me her favorite and hated me for it,
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: used to say, with a jeering smile, go along, your
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: mistress wants you. Zenaida Fyodorovna considered me as a being
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 1: of a lower order and did not suspect that if
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: any one in the house were in a humiliating position,
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: it was she. She did not know that I, a footman,
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: was unhappy on her account, and used to ask myself
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: twenty times a day what was in store for her
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: and how it would all end. Things were growing visibly
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: worse day by day. After the evening on which they
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 1: had talked of his official work, Orlov, who could not
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: endure tears, unmistakably began to avoid conversation with her. Whenever
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: Zenaida Fyodorovna began to argue or to beseech him, or
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: seemed on the point of crying, he seized some plausible
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: excuse for retreating to his study or going out. He
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: more and more rarely slept at home, and still more
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: rarely dined there. On Thursdays, he was the one to
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: suggest some expedition to his friends. Zenaida Fyodorovna was still
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: dreaming of having the cooking done at home, of moving
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: to a new flat, of traveling abroad, but her dreams
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: remained dreams. Dinner was sent in from the restaurant. Orlov
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: asked her not to broach the question of moving until
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: after they had come back from abroad, and apropos of
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: their foreign tour, declared that they could not go till
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 1: his hair had grown long, as one could not go
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: trailing from hotel to hotel and serving the idea without
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: long hair to crown it all. In Orlov's absence, Kukushkin
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: began calling at the flat in the evening. There was
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: nothing exceptional in his behavior, but I could never forget
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: the conversation in which he had offered to cut Orlov out.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: He was regaled with tea and red wine, and he
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: used to titter and, anxious to say something pleasant, would
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: declare that a free union was superior in every respect
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: to legal marriage, and that all decent people ought really
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 1: to come to Zenaida Fyodorovna and fall at her feet
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: end of chapter seven. Recording by expatriot in Bangor, Maine.
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: Chapter A of an anonymous story by Anton Chekhov, translated
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: by Constance Garnett eighteen sixty one in nineteen forty six.
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: This Librivok's recording is in the public domain. Recording by
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: expatriate in Bangor, Maine. Chapter eight. Christmas was spent drearily
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: in vague anticipations of calamity. On New Year's Eve, Orlov
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: unexpectedly announced at breakfast that he was being sent to
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: assist a senator who was on a revising commission in
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 1: a certain province. I don't want to go, but I
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: can't find an excuse to get off, he said, with vexation.
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: I must go. There's nothing for it. Such news instantly
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: made Zenaida Fyodorovna's eyes look red. Is it for long?
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: She asked? Five days or so? I am glad. Really
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: you are going, she said, after a moment's thought. It
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: will be a change for you. You will fall in
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: love with some one on the way and tell me
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: about it afterwards. At every opportunity she tried to make
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: Orlov feel that she did not restrict his liberty in
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: any way, and that he could do exactly as he liked.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: And this artless, transparent strategy deceived no one and only
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: unnecessarily reminded Orlov that he was not free. I am
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: going this evening, he said, and began reading the paper
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: the night of Fyodorovna wanted to see him off at
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: the station, but he dissuaded her, saying that he was
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: not going to America and not going to be away
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 1: five years, but only five days, possibly less. The parting
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: took place between seven and eight. He put one arm
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: round her and kissed her on the lips and on
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: the forehead. Be it good girl, and don't be depressed
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: while I am away, he said, in a warm, affectionate
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 1: tone which touched even me. God keep you. She looked
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 1: greedily into his face to stamp his dear features on
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 1: her memory. Then she put her arms gracefully round his
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 1: neck and laid her head on his breast. Forgive me
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 1: our misunderstanding, she said in French. Husband and wife cannot
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 1: help quarreling if they love each other. And I love
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: you madly. Don't don't forget me. Wire to me often
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 1: and fully. Orloft kissed her once more, and without saying
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 1: a word, when out in confusion. When he heard the
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 1: click of the lock as the door closed, he stood
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 1: still in the middle of the staircase in hesitation, and
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: glanced upwards. It seemed to me that if a sound
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: had reached him at that moment from above, he would
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: have turned back. But all was quiet. He straightened his
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: coat and went downstairs irresolutely. The sledges had been waiting
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: a long while at the door orloft. Got into one,
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 1: I got into the other with two portmanteaus. It was
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: a hard frost, and there were fires smoking at the
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: cross roads. The cold wind nipped my face and hands
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: and took my breath away. As we drove rapidly along,
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: and closing my eyes, I thought, what a splendid woman
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: she was as she loved him. Even useless rubbish is
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: collected in the courtyards nowadays and used for some purpose.
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 1: Even broken glass is considered a useful commodity. But something
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 1: so precious, so rare, as the love of a refined, young,
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 1: intelligent and good woman, is utterly thrown away and wasted.
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: One of the early sociologists regarded every evil passion as
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 1: a force which might, by judicious management be turned to good,
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 1: while among us even a fine noble passion springs up
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: and dives away in impotence, turned to no account, misunderstood
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 1: or vulgarized. Why is it? The sledges stopped unexpectedly. I
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: opened my eyes, and I saw that we had come
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: to a standstill in Sergeyevsky Street, near a big house
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 1: where Pekarski lived. Orlov got out of the sledge and
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: vanished into the entry. Five minutes later, Pekarski's footman came out,
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: bareheaded and angry with the frost, shouted to me, are
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 1: you deaf? Pay the cabman and go upstairs. You are wanted.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: At a complete loss, I went to the first story.
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 1: I had been to Pekarski's flat before that is, I
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: had stood in the hall and looked into the drawing room,
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: and after the damp, gloomy street, it always struck me
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 1: by the brilliance of its picture frames, its bronzes and
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 1: expensive furniture. To day, in the midst of this splendor,
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 1: I saw Gruzin Kukushkin, and after a minute orloft, look here, stepan,
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: he said, coming up to me, I shall be staying
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 1: here till Friday or Saturday. If any letters or telegrams come,
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 1: you must bring them here every day at home. Of course,
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 1: you will say that I have gone and send my greetings.
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: Now you can go. When I reached homes, then eye
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: of Fyodorovna was lying on the sofa in the drawing
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 1: room eating a pear. There was only one candle burning
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 1: in the candelabra. Did you catch the train as a
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: night to Fyodorovna, Yes, madam, his honor sends his greetings.
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 1: I went into my room, and I too lay down.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 1: I had nothing to do, and I did not want
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 1: to read. I was not surprised, and I was not indignant.
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 1: I only racked my brains to think why this deception
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 1: was necessary. It is only boys in their teens who
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 1: deceived their mistresses like that. How was it that a
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 1: man who had thought and read so much could not
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 1: imagine anything more sensible? I must confess I had, by
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: no means a poor opinion of his intelligence. I believe
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 1: if he had had to deceive his minister or any
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 1: other influential person, he would have put a great deal
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 1: of skill and energy into doing so. But to deceive
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: a woman, the first idea that occurred to him was
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: evidently good enough if it succeeded well, and good if
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: it did not. There would be no harm done. He
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 1: could tell some other lie just as quickly and simply,
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 1: with no mental effort. At midnight, when the people on
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 1: the floor overhead were moving their chairs and shouting Hurrah
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 1: to welcome the new year, Zenaida Fyodorovna rang for me
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: from the room next to the study. Languid from lying
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: down so long, she was sitting at the table writing
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 1: something on a scrap of paper. I must send a telegram,
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: she said, with a smile. Go to the station as
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: quick as you can and ask them to send it.
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 1: After him going out into the street, I read on
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 1: the scrap of paper, May the new year bring new happiness.
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 1: Make haste in telegraph. I miss you dreadfully. It seems
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 1: an eternity. I am only sorry I can't send the
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 1: thousand kisses in my very heart by telegraph. Enjoy yourself,
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: my darling, Zena. I sent the telegram, and next morning
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 1: I gave her the receipt. End of chapter eight. Recording
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 1: by ex patriot in Bangor Main Chapter nine of an
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 1: anonymous story by Anton Chekhov, translated by Constance Garnett eighteen
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 1: sixty one to nineteen forty six. This LibriVox recording is
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 1: in the public domain. Recording by Expatriot in Bangor Main,
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 1: chapter nine. The worst of it was that Orlov had
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 1: thoughtlessly let Polia too into the secret of his deception,
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 1: telling her to bring his shirts to Sergayevsky Street. After that,
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 1: she looked at Zenaida Fyodorovna with a malignant joy and hatred.
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 1: I could not understand, and was never tired of snorting
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 1: with delight to herself in her own room and in
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 1: the hole. She's outstayed her welcome. As time she took
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 1: herself off, she would stay with zest. She ought to
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 1: realize that herself she already divined by instinct, that Zenaida
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: Fyodorovna would not be with us much longer, and not
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 1: to let the chance slip carried off everything she set
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 1: her eyes on, smelling bottles, tortoise shell hairpins, handkerchief shoes.
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: On the day after New Year's Day, Zenaida Fyodorovna summoned
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 1: me to her room and told me in a low
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 1: voice that she missed her black dress. And then she
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 1: walked through all the rooms with a pale frightened and
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 1: indignant face, talking to herself. It's too much, it's beyond everything.
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: Why it's unheard of insolence. At dinner, she tried to
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 1: help herself to soup, but could not. Her hands were trembling.
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 1: Her lips were trembling too. She looked helplessly at the
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 1: soup and at the little pies, waiting for the trembling
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: to pass off, And suddenly she could not resist looking
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: at Polia. You can go, Polia, she said. Step On
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: is enough by himself. Oh I'll stay. I don't mind,
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 1: answered Polia. There's no need for you to stay. You
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 1: go away. Altogether, the night of Fyodorovna went on, getting
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 1: up in great agitation. You may look out for another
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 1: place you can go at once. I can't go away
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 1: without the master's orders, he engaged me. It must be
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 1: as he orders. You can take orders from me too.
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 1: I am mistress here, said z nightA Fyodorovna, and she flushed. Crimson,
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 1: you may be the mistress, but only the master can
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 1: dismiss me, it was, he engaged me. You dare not
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 1: stay here another minute, cried Zenaida Fyodorovna, and she struck
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 1: the plate with her knife. You are a thief, do
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 1: you hear? Zenaida Fyodorovna flung her dinner napkin on the table,
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 1: and with a pitiful, suffering face, went quickly out of
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 1: the room, loudly, sobbing and wailing something indistinct. Polia too
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 1: went away. The soup and the grouse got cold, and
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 1: for some reason, all the restaurant dainties on the table
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 1: struck me as poor thievish. Like Polia. Two pies on
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 1: a plate had a particularly miserable and guilty air. We
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 1: shall be taken back to the restaurant today, they seemed
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 1: to be saying, And tomorrow we shall be put on
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 1: the table again for some official or celebrated singer. Oh
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 1: she is a fine lady, indeed, I heard uttered in
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 1: Polia's room. I could have been a lady like that
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 1: long ago, but I have some self respect. We'll see
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 1: which of us will be the first to go. Zenaida
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 1: Fyodorovna rang the bell. She was sitting in her room
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 1: in the corner, looking as though she had been put
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 1: in the corner as a punishment. No tell telegram has come,
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 1: she asked, No, madam, ask the porter, perhaps there is
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: a telegram, and don't leave the house, she called after me.
• 1:27:08
  Speaker 1: I am afraid to be left alone. After that, I
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 1: had to run down almost every hour to ask the
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 1: porter whether a telegram had come. I must own it
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 1: was a dreadful time to avoid seeing Polia. Zenaida Fyodorovna
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 1: dined and had tea in her own room. It was
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 1: here that she slept, too, on a short sofa like
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 1: a half moon, and she made her own bed. For
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 1: the first days, I took the telegrams, but getting no answer,
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 1: she lost her faith in me and began telegraphing herself.
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 1: Looking at her, I too began impatiently hoping for a telegram.
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 1: I hoped he would contrive some deception, would make arrangements,
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 1: for instance, that a telegram should be sent to her
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 1: from some station if he were too much engrossed with
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 1: cards or had been attracted by some other woman. I
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 1: thought that both Grusine and Kukushkin would remind him of us,
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 1: But our expectations were vain. Five times a day I
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 1: would go into Zenaida Fyodorovna, intending to tell her the truth.
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 1: But her eyes looked piteous as a fawn's, her shoulders
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 1: seemed to droop, her lips were moving and I went
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: away again without saying a word. Pity and sympathy seemed
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 1: to rob me of all manliness. Polia, as cheerful and
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 1: well satisfied with herself, as though nothing had happened, was
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 1: tidying the master's study in the bedroom, rummaging in the
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: cupboards and making the crockery jingle. And when she passed
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 1: the night to Fyodorovna's door, she hummed something and coughed.
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 1: She was pleased that her mistress was hiding from her.
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 1: In the evening, she would go out somewhere and rang
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 1: at two or three o'clock in the morning, and I
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 1: had to open the door to her and listen to
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 1: remarks about my cough. Immediately afterwards, I would hear another ring.
• 1:28:49
  Speaker 1: I would run to the room next to the study,
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 1: and z nightA. Fyodorovna, putting her head out of the door,
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 1: would ask who was it wrong, while she looked at
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 1: my hands to see whether I had a telegram. When
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 1: at last, on Saturday, the bell rang below and she
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 1: heard the familiar voice on the stairs, she was so
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 1: delighted that she broke into sobs. She rushed to meet him,
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 1: embraced him, kissed him on the breast and sleeves said
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 1: something one could not understand. The hall porter brought up
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 1: the portmanteaus. Polia's cheerful voice was heard. It was as
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 1: though some one had come home for the holidays. Why
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 1: didn't you, wire, asked Zenai to Fyodorovna, breathless with joy.
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 1: Why was it? I have been in misery. I don't
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 1: know how I've lived through it. Oh my god, it
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: was very simple. I returned with the Senator to Moscow
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 1: the very first day and didn't get your telegrams at
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 1: orlov After dinner, my love, I'll give you a full
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 1: account of my doings, but now I must sleep and sleep.
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: I am worn out with the journey. It was evident
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: that he had not slept all night. He had probably
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 1: been playing cards and drinking freely. The night of Fyodorovna
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 1: put him to bed, and we all walked about on
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 1: tiptoe all that day. The dinner went off quite satisfactorily,
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 1: but when they went into the study and had coffee,
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 1: the explanation began. The nightA Fyodorovna began talking of something
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 1: rapidly in a low voice. She spoke in French, and
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: her words flowed like a stream. Then I heard a
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 1: loud sigh from Orlov and his voice, My god, he
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 1: said in French. Have you really nothing fresher to tell
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 1: me than this everlasting tale of your servant's misdeeds. But
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 1: my dear, she robbed me and said insulting things to me.
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 1: But why is it she doesn't rob me or say
• 1:30:32
  Speaker 1: insulting things to me? Why is I never noticed the maids,
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 1: nor the porters, nor the footmen. My dear, you are
• 1:30:39
  Speaker 1: simply capricious and refused to know your own mind. I
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 1: really begin to suspect that you must be in a
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 1: certain condition. When I offered to let her go, you
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 1: insisted on her remaining, And now you want me to
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 1: turn her away. I can be obstinate too in such cases.
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 1: You want her to go, but I want her to remain.
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: That's the only way to cure you of your nerves.
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 1: Oh very well, very well, said Zenaida Fyodorovna in alarm.
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 1: Let us say no more about that. Let us put
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 1: it off till tomorrow. Now tell me about Moscow? What
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 1: is going on in Moscow? End of chapter nine recording
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 1: by ex patriot in Bangor, Maine. Chapter ten of an
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 1: anonymous story by Anton Chekhov, translated by Constance Garnett eighteen
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 1: sixty one to nineteen forty six. This Librivot's recording is
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 1: in the public domain. Recording by ex Patriot in Bangor, Maine,
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 1: Chapter ten. After lunch next day, it was the seventh
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 1: of January, Saint John the Baptist day, Orloff put on
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 1: his black dress coat and his decoration to go to
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 1: visit his father and congratulate him on his name day.
• 1:31:55
  Speaker 1: He had to go at two o'clock, and it was
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 1: only half past one when he had finished dressing. What
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 1: was he to do for that half hour? He walked
• 1:32:03
  Speaker 1: about the drawing room, declaiming some congratulatory verses which he
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: had recited as a child to his father and mother.
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 1: Zenaida Fyodorovna, who was just going out to a dressmaker's
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 1: or to the shops, was sitting listening to him with
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: a smile. I don't know how their conversation began, but
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: when I took orl off his gloves, he was standing
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 1: before her with a capricious, beseeching face, saying, for God's sake,
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 1: in the name of everything that's holy, don't talk of
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 1: things that everybody knows. What an unfortunate gift our intellectual,
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 1: thoughtful ladies have for talking with enthusiasm and an air
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 1: of profundity of things that every schoolboy is sick to
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 1: death of. Ah, if only you would exclude from our
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 1: conjugal programme all these serious questions. How grateful I should
• 1:32:46
  Speaker 1: be to you. We women may not dare, it seems
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 1: to have views of our own. Oh. I give you
• 1:32:52
  Speaker 1: full liberty to be as liberal as you like, and
• 1:32:55
  Speaker 1: quote from many authors you choose, But make me one concession.
• 1:32:59
  Speaker 1: Don't hold fourth in my presence on either of two subjects,
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 1: the corruption of the upper classes and the evils of
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 1: the marriage system. Do understand me. At last, the upper
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 1: class is always abused in contrast with the world of tradesmen, priests,
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 1: workmen and peasants, sea doors and nikitas of all sorts.
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 1: I detest both classes. But if I had honestly to
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 1: choose between the two, I should, without hesitation, prefer the
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 1: upper class, and there would be no falsity or affectation
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 1: about it, since all my tastes are in that direction.
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 1: Our world is trivial and empty. But at any rate,
• 1:33:34
  Speaker 1: we speak French, decently, read something, and don't punch each
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 1: other in the ribs, even in our most violent quarrels,
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 1: while the sea doors and the nikitas and their worships
• 1:33:43
  Speaker 1: in trade talk about being quite agreeable in a jiffy,
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 1: blast your eyes and display the most utmost license of
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 1: pothouse manners in the most degrading superstition. The peasant and
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 1: the tradesmen feed you, yes, but what of it? That's
• 1:33:59
  Speaker 1: not only to my discredit, but to theirs also. They
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 1: feed me and take off their caps to me, so
• 1:34:05
  Speaker 1: it seems they have not the intelligence and honesty to
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 1: do otherwise. I don't blame or praise anyone. I only
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 1: mean that the upper class in the lower are as
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 1: bad as one another. My feelings, in my intelligence are
• 1:34:17
  Speaker 1: opposed to both, but my tastes lie more in the
• 1:34:20
  Speaker 1: direction of the former. Well, now for the evils of marriage,
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 1: Orloff went on glancing at his watch, It's high time
• 1:34:27
  Speaker 1: for you to understand that there are no evils in
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 1: the system itself. What is the matter is that you
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 1: don't know yourselves what you want from marriage? What is
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 1: it you want in legal and illegal cohabitation? In every
• 1:34:40
  Speaker 1: sort of union and cohabitation, good or bad, the underlying
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 1: reality is the same. You, ladies, live for that underlying
• 1:34:48
  Speaker 1: reality alone. For you, it's everything. Your existence would have
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 1: no meaning for you without it. You want nothing but that,
• 1:34:55
  Speaker 1: and you get it. But since you've taken to reading novels,
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 1: you are ashamed of it. You rush from pillar to post,
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 1: you recklessly change your men, and to justify this turmoil,
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 1: you've begun talking of the evils of marriage. So long
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 1: as you can't and won't renounce what underlies it all
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 1: your chief, foe, your devil. So long as you serve
• 1:35:14
  Speaker 1: that slavishly, What use is there in discussing the matter seriously?
• 1:35:18
  Speaker 1: Everything you may say to me will be falsity and affectation.
• 1:35:22
  Speaker 1: I shall not believe you. I went to find out
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 1: from the whole porter whether the sledge was at the door,
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: and when I came back, I found it had become
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 1: a quarrel, as sailors say, a squall had blown up.
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 1: I see you want to shock me by your cynicism today,
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 1: said Zenaida Fyodorovna, walking about the drawing room in great emotion.
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 1: It revolts me to listen to you. I am pure
• 1:35:44
  Speaker 1: before God and man and have nothing to repent of.
• 1:35:48
  Speaker 1: I left my husband and came to you, and am
• 1:35:50
  Speaker 1: proud of it. I swear on my honor, I am
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 1: proud of it. Well that's all right, then, if you
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 1: were a decent, honest man, you too ought to be
• 1:35:58
  Speaker 1: proud of what I did. It raises you and me
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 1: above thousands of people who would like to do as
• 1:36:03
  Speaker 1: we have done, but do not venture through cowardice or
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 1: petty prudence. But you are not a decent man. You
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 1: are afraid of freedom, and you mock the promptings of
• 1:36:13
  Speaker 1: genuine feeling from fear that some ignoramus may suspect you
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 1: of being sincere. You are afraid to show me to
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 1: your friends. There's no greater infliction for you than to
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 1: go about with me in the street. Isn't that true?
• 1:36:26
  Speaker 1: Why haven't you introduced me to your father or your
• 1:36:28
  Speaker 1: cousin all this time? Why is it?
• 1:36:30
  Speaker 2: No?
• 1:36:31
  Speaker 1: I am sick of it at last, cried Zenaida Fyodorovna's stamping.
• 1:36:34
  Speaker 1: I demand what is mine. By right, you must present
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 1: me to your father if you want to know him,
• 1:36:40
  Speaker 1: go and present yourself. It receives visitors every morning from
• 1:36:43
  Speaker 1: ten till half past. How base you are, said Zenaida Fyodorovna,
• 1:36:48
  Speaker 1: wringing her hands in despair. Even if you are not
• 1:36:51
  Speaker 1: sincere and are not saying what you think, I might
• 1:36:55
  Speaker 1: hate you for your cruelty. Oh how base you are.
• 1:36:58
  Speaker 1: We keep going round and round and never reached the
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 1: real point. The real point is that you made a mistake,
• 1:37:04
  Speaker 1: and you won't acknowledge it aloud. You imagine that I
• 1:37:08
  Speaker 1: was a hero and that I had some extraordinary ideas
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 1: and ideals, And it has turned out that I am
• 1:37:13
  Speaker 1: a most ordinary official a card player, and have no
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 1: partiality for ideas of any sort. I am a worthy
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 1: representative of the rotten world from which you have run
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 1: away because you were revolted with its triviality and emptiness.
• 1:37:27
  Speaker 1: Recognize it and be just don't be indignant with me,
• 1:37:31
  Speaker 1: but with yourself, as it is your mistake and not mine. Yes,
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 1: I admit I was mistaken. Well that's all right. Then
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 1: we've reached that point at last. Thank god. Now here's
• 1:37:41
  Speaker 1: something more, if you please, I can't rise to your level.
• 1:37:45
  Speaker 1: I am too depraved. You can't descend to my level either,
• 1:37:48
  Speaker 1: for you are too exalted. So there is only one
• 1:37:51
  Speaker 1: thing left to do. What Senaida Fyodorovna asked, quickly, holding
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 1: her breath and turning suddenly, as white as a sheet
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 1: of paper, to call lodge to our aid, Georgy, Why
• 1:38:02
  Speaker 1: are you torturing me, Zennia Fyodorovna said suddenly in Russian,
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 1: in a breaking voice, What is it for? Think of
• 1:38:09
  Speaker 1: my misery? Orlov, afraid of tears, went quickly into his study.
• 1:38:14
  Speaker 1: And I don't know why, whether it was that he
• 1:38:16
  Speaker 1: wished to cause her extra pain, or whether he remembered
• 1:38:19
  Speaker 1: it was usually done in such cases. He locked the
• 1:38:22
  Speaker 1: door after him. She cried out and ran after him
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 1: with a rustle of her skirt. What does this mean,
• 1:38:28
  Speaker 1: she cried, knocking at his door. What does this mean?
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 1: She repeated in a shrill voice, breaking with indignation. Ah,
• 1:38:36
  Speaker 1: so this is what you do? Then let me tell you.
• 1:38:39
  Speaker 1: I hate you, I despise you. Everything is over between
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 1: us now. I heard hysterical weeping, mingled with laughter. Something
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 1: small in the drawing room fell off the table and
• 1:38:50
  Speaker 1: was broken. Orlov went out into the hall by another door,
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 1: and looking round him nervously, he hurriedly put on his
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 1: greatcoat and went out. Half an hour passed an hour,
• 1:39:01
  Speaker 1: and she was still weeping. I remembered that she had
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 1: no father or mother, no relations, and here she was
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 1: living between a man who hated her and Polia who
• 1:39:10
  Speaker 1: robbed her, and how desolate her life seemed to me.
• 1:39:14
  Speaker 1: I do not know why, but I went into the
• 1:39:16
  Speaker 1: drawing room to her, weak and helpless, looking with her
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 1: lovely hair like an embodiment of tenderness and grace. She
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 1: was in anguish as though she were ill. She was
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 1: lying on a couch, hiding her face and quivering all over. Madam,
• 1:39:31
  Speaker 1: shouldn't I fetch a doctor? I asked gently. No, there's
• 1:39:35
  Speaker 1: no need. It's nothing, she said, and she looked at
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 1: me with her tear stained eyes. I have a little headache.
• 1:39:41
  Speaker 1: Thank you. I went out, and in the evening she
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 1: was writing letter after letter and sent me out first
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 1: to Pekarski, then to Gruzin, then to Kukushkin, and finally
• 1:39:51
  Speaker 1: anywhere I chose, if only I could find Orlov and
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 1: give him the letter. Every time I came back with
• 1:39:56
  Speaker 1: a letter, she scolded me and treated me, thrust money
• 1:39:59
  Speaker 1: into my hand as though she were in a fever.
• 1:40:02
  Speaker 1: And all the night she did not sleep, but sat
• 1:40:04
  Speaker 1: in the drawing room talking to herself. Orlov returned to
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 1: dinner next day, and they were reconciled. The first Thursday. Afterwards,
• 1:40:13
  Speaker 1: Orlov complained to his friends of the intolerable life he led,
• 1:40:17
  Speaker 1: He smoked a great deal and said, with irritation, it
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 1: is no life at all. It's the rack, tears, wailing,
• 1:40:24
  Speaker 1: intellectual conversation, begging for forgiveness again, tears and wailing, and
• 1:40:29
  Speaker 1: the long in the short of it is that I
• 1:40:31
  Speaker 1: have no flat of my own. Now I am wretched,
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 1: and I make her wretched. Surely I haven't to live
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 1: another month or two like this? How can I? But
• 1:40:40
  Speaker 1: yet I may have to. Why don't you speak, then,
• 1:40:42
  Speaker 1: said Pekarski. I've tried, but I can't. One can boldly
• 1:40:47
  Speaker 1: tell the truth, whatever it may be, to an independent,
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 1: rational man, But in this case one has to do
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 1: with a creature who has no will, no strength of character,
• 1:40:56
  Speaker 1: and no logic. I cannot endure tears. They disarm me.
• 1:41:00
  Speaker 1: When she cries, I am ready to swear eternal love
• 1:41:02
  Speaker 1: and cry myself. Pekarski did not understand. He scratched his
• 1:41:07
  Speaker 1: broad forehead in perplexity and said, you really had better
• 1:41:11
  Speaker 1: take another flat for her. It's so simple. She wants me,
• 1:41:14
  Speaker 1: not the flat. But what's the good of talking? Sighed Orlov.
• 1:41:18
  Speaker 1: I only hear endless conversations, but no way out of
• 1:41:21
  Speaker 1: my position. It certainly is a case of being guilty
• 1:41:24
  Speaker 1: without guilt. I don't claim to be a mushroom, but
• 1:41:27
  Speaker 1: it seems I've got to go into the basket. The
• 1:41:30
  Speaker 1: last thing I've ever set out to be is a hero.
• 1:41:32
  Speaker 1: I never could endure Turgenyev's novels, and now, all of
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 1: a sudden, as though to spite me, I've heroism forced
• 1:41:39
  Speaker 1: upon me. I assure her, on my honor that I'm
• 1:41:42
  Speaker 1: not a hero at all. I adduce irrefutable proofs of
• 1:41:45
  Speaker 1: the same, But she doesn't believe me. Why doesn't she
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 1: believe me? I suppose I really must have something of
• 1:41:51
  Speaker 1: the appearance of a hero. You go off on a
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 1: tour of inspection in the provinces, said Kukushkin, laughing, Yes,
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 1: that's the only thing left for me. A week after
• 1:42:01
  Speaker 1: this conversation, Orlov announced that he was again ordered to
• 1:42:05
  Speaker 1: attend the Senator, and the same evening he went off
• 1:42:08
  Speaker 1: with his portmanteaus to Pekarski. End of chapter ten. Recording
• 1:42:14
  Speaker 1: by ex patriot in Bangor, Maine. Chapter eleven of an
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 1: anonymous story by Anton Tchekhov, translated by Constance Garnett eighteen
• 1:42:30
  Speaker 1: sixty one to nineteen forty six. This liveryvox recording is
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 1: in the public domain. Recording by ex Patriot in Bangor, Maine,
• 1:42:39
  Speaker 1: Chapter eleven. An old man of sixty in a long
• 1:42:44
  Speaker 1: fur coat reaching to the ground and a beaver cap,
• 1:42:47
  Speaker 1: was standing at the door. Is Georgi Ivanitch at home?
• 1:42:51
  Speaker 1: He asked? At first, I thought it was one of
• 1:42:53
  Speaker 1: the money lenders Gruzin's creditors, who sometimes used to come
• 1:42:57
  Speaker 1: to Orlov for small payments on account. But when he
• 1:43:00
  Speaker 1: came into the hall and flung open his coat, I
• 1:43:03
  Speaker 1: saw the thick brows and the characteristically compressed lips which
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 1: I knew so well from the photographs, and two rows
• 1:43:10
  Speaker 1: of stars on the uniform. I recognized him. It was
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 1: Orlov's father, the distinguished Statesman. I answered that Georgy Ivanitch
• 1:43:19
  Speaker 1: was not at home. The old man pursed up his
• 1:43:22
  Speaker 1: lips tightly and looked into space, reflecting, showing me his
• 1:43:26
  Speaker 1: dried up, toothless profile. I'll leave a note, he said,
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 1: show me in. He left his galoshes in the hall,
• 1:43:33
  Speaker 1: and without taking off his long heavy fur coat, went
• 1:43:36
  Speaker 1: into the study. There he sat down before the table,
• 1:43:40
  Speaker 1: and before taking up the pen, for three minutes he pondered,
• 1:43:44
  Speaker 1: shading his eyes with his hand as though from the sun,
• 1:43:47
  Speaker 1: exactly as his son did when he was out of humor.
• 1:43:50
  Speaker 1: His face was sad, thoughtful, with that look of resignation
• 1:43:54
  Speaker 1: which I have only seen on the faces of the
• 1:43:56
  Speaker 1: old and religious. I stood behind him. He raised at
• 1:44:00
  Speaker 1: his bold head and at the hollow at the nape
• 1:44:02
  Speaker 1: of his neck, and it was clear as daylight to
• 1:44:05
  Speaker 1: me that this weak old man was now in my power.
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 1: There was not a soul in the flat except my
• 1:44:11
  Speaker 1: enemy and me. I had only to use a little
• 1:44:14
  Speaker 1: physical violence, then snatch his watch, to disguise the object
• 1:44:18
  Speaker 1: of the crime, and to get off by the back way,
• 1:44:21
  Speaker 1: and I should have gained infinitely more than I could
• 1:44:23
  Speaker 1: imagine possible. When I took up the part of a footman,
• 1:44:27
  Speaker 1: I thought that I could hardly get a better opportunity.
• 1:44:29
  Speaker 1: But instead of acting, I looked quite unconcernedly, first at
• 1:44:34
  Speaker 1: his bold patch and then at his fur, and calmly
• 1:44:37
  Speaker 1: meditated on this man's relation to his only son, and
• 1:44:40
  Speaker 1: on the fact that people spoiled by power and wealth
• 1:44:43
  Speaker 1: probably don't want to die have you been long in
• 1:44:47
  Speaker 1: my son's service? He asked, writing a large hand on
• 1:44:49
  Speaker 1: the paper, Three months, your high excellency. He finished the
• 1:44:54
  Speaker 1: letter and stood up. I still had time. I urged
• 1:44:57
  Speaker 1: myself on and clenched my fists, trying to wring out
• 1:45:00
  Speaker 1: of my soul some trace of my former hatred. I recalled,
• 1:45:04
  Speaker 1: what a passionate, implacable, obstinate hatred I had felt for
• 1:45:08
  Speaker 1: him only a little while before. But it is difficult
• 1:45:12
  Speaker 1: to strike a match against a crumbling stone. The sad
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 1: old face and the cold glitter of his stars roused
• 1:45:19
  Speaker 1: in me nothing but petty, cheap, unnecessary thoughts of the
• 1:45:23
  Speaker 1: transitoriness of everything earthly, of the nearness of death. Good day, brother,
• 1:45:28
  Speaker 1: said the old man. He put on his cap and
• 1:45:30
  Speaker 1: went out. There could be no doubt about it. I
• 1:45:34
  Speaker 1: had undergone a change. I had become different. To convince myself,
• 1:45:38
  Speaker 1: I began to recall the past, but at once I
• 1:45:40
  Speaker 1: felt uneasy, as though I had accidentally peeped into a dark,
• 1:45:44
  Speaker 1: damp corner. I remembered my comrades and friends, and my
• 1:45:48
  Speaker 1: first thought was how I should blush in confusion if
• 1:45:51
  Speaker 1: ever I met any of them. What was I now?
• 1:45:54
  Speaker 1: What had I to think of and to do? Where
• 1:45:57
  Speaker 1: was I to go? What was I living? For? I
• 1:46:00
  Speaker 1: could make nothing of it. I only knew one thing
• 1:46:02
  Speaker 1: that I must make haste to pack my things and
• 1:46:05
  Speaker 1: be off before the old man's visit. My position as
• 1:46:08
  Speaker 1: a flunky had a meaning. Now it was absurd. Tears
• 1:46:12
  Speaker 1: dropped into my open portmanteau. I felt insufferably sad, But
• 1:46:16
  Speaker 1: how I longed to live. I was ready to embrace
• 1:46:19
  Speaker 1: and include in my short life every possibility open to man,
• 1:46:23
  Speaker 1: and to hammer in some big factory, and to stand
• 1:46:26
  Speaker 1: on watch and to plow. I yearned for the Nevsky Prospect,
• 1:46:29
  Speaker 1: for the sea and the fields, for every place to
• 1:46:32
  Speaker 1: which my imagination traveled. When Zenaida Fyodorovna came in, I
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 1: rushed to open the door for her, and with peculiar tenderness,
• 1:46:40
  Speaker 1: took off her fur coat the last time. We had
• 1:46:44
  Speaker 1: two other visitors that day besides the old man. In
• 1:46:47
  Speaker 1: the evening, when it was quite dark, Gruising came to
• 1:46:49
  Speaker 1: fetch some papers for Orlov. He opened the table drawer,
• 1:46:53
  Speaker 1: took the necessary papers, and rolling them up, told me
• 1:46:57
  Speaker 1: to put them in the hole beside his cap while
• 1:46:59
  Speaker 1: he went in to see Zenaida Fyodorovna. She was lying
• 1:47:03
  Speaker 1: on the sofa in the drawing room with her arms
• 1:47:05
  Speaker 1: behind her head. Five or six days had already passed
• 1:47:08
  Speaker 1: since Orlov went on his tour of inspection, and no
• 1:47:11
  Speaker 1: one knew when he would be back. But this time
• 1:47:13
  Speaker 1: she did not send telegrams and did not expect them.
• 1:47:16
  Speaker 1: She did not seem to notice the presence of Polia,
• 1:47:19
  Speaker 1: who was still living with us. So be it, then,
• 1:47:22
  Speaker 1: was what I read on her passionless and very pale face.
• 1:47:26
  Speaker 1: Like Orlov, she wanted to be unhappy out of obstinacy,
• 1:47:30
  Speaker 1: despite herself and everything in the world. She lay for
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 1: days together on the sofa, desiring and expecting nothing but
• 1:47:37
  Speaker 1: evil for herself. Probably she was picturing to herself Orlov's
• 1:47:41
  Speaker 1: return and the inevitable quarrels with him, then his growing
• 1:47:46
  Speaker 1: indifference to her, his infidelities, then how they would separate.
• 1:47:51
  Speaker 1: And perhaps these agonizing thoughts gave her satisfaction. But what
• 1:47:54
  Speaker 1: would she have said if she found out the actual truth?
• 1:47:58
  Speaker 1: I love you, Godmother, said grew in, greeting her and
• 1:48:01
  Speaker 1: kissing her hand. You are so kind and so dear.
• 1:48:04
  Speaker 1: George has gone away, he lied, He's gone away. The rascal.
• 1:48:08
  Speaker 1: He sat down with a sigh and tenderly stroked her hand.
• 1:48:11
  Speaker 1: Let me spend an hour with you, my dear, he said.
• 1:48:14
  Speaker 1: I don't want to go home, and it's too early
• 1:48:16
  Speaker 1: to go to the Berschafts. The Berschafs are keeping their
• 1:48:19
  Speaker 1: Cotcha's birthday to day. She is a nice child. I
• 1:48:22
  Speaker 1: brought him a glass of tea and a decanter of brandy.
• 1:48:26
  Speaker 1: He slowly and with obvious reluctance, drank the tea, and
• 1:48:29
  Speaker 1: returning the glass to me, asked timidly, can you give
• 1:48:32
  Speaker 1: me something to eat? My friend? I have had no dinner.
• 1:48:36
  Speaker 1: We had nothing in the flat. I went to the
• 1:48:39
  Speaker 1: restaurant and brought him the ordinary rouble dinner. To your health,
• 1:48:42
  Speaker 1: my dear, he said to Zenaida Fyodorovna, and he tossed
• 1:48:46
  Speaker 1: off a glass of vodka. My little girl, your godchild
• 1:48:50
  Speaker 1: sends you her love. Poor child, she's rickety. Ah, children, children,
• 1:48:55
  Speaker 1: he sighed, whatever you may say, godmother, it is nice
• 1:48:58
  Speaker 1: to be a father, dear George can't understand that feeling.
• 1:49:02
  Speaker 1: He drank some more, pale and lean with his dinner
• 1:49:05
  Speaker 1: napkin over his chest like a little pinafore. He ate
• 1:49:09
  Speaker 1: greedily and raising his eyebrows, kept looking guiltily like a
• 1:49:12
  Speaker 1: little boy, first as Zenaida Fyodorovna, and then at me.
• 1:49:17
  Speaker 1: It seemed as though he would have begun crying if
• 1:49:19
  Speaker 1: I had not given him the grouse or the jelly.
• 1:49:21
  Speaker 1: When he had satisfied his hunger, he grew more lively
• 1:49:25
  Speaker 1: and began laughingly telling some story about the Bershov household.
• 1:49:29
  Speaker 1: But perceiving that it was tiresome and that Zenaida Fyodorovna
• 1:49:33
  Speaker 1: was not laughing, he ceased, and there was a sudden
• 1:49:36
  Speaker 1: feeling of dreariness. After he had finished his dinner, they
• 1:49:39
  Speaker 1: sat in the drawing room by the light of a
• 1:49:41
  Speaker 1: single lamp and did not speak. It was painful to
• 1:49:45
  Speaker 1: him to lie to her, and she wanted to ask
• 1:49:47
  Speaker 1: him something, but could not make up her mind to
• 1:49:50
  Speaker 1: so passed half an hour. Gruzin glanced at his watch.
• 1:49:54
  Speaker 1: I suppose it's time for me to go. No, stay
• 1:49:57
  Speaker 1: a little, we must have a talk again. They were.
• 1:50:00
  Speaker 1: He sat down to the piano, struck one chord, then
• 1:50:04
  Speaker 1: began playing and sang softly, what does the coming day
• 1:50:07
  Speaker 1: bring me? But as usual, he got up suddenly and
• 1:50:10
  Speaker 1: tossed his head. Play something Zenaida Fyodorovna asked him, what
• 1:50:15
  Speaker 1: shall I play? He asked, shrugging his shoulders. I have
• 1:50:18
  Speaker 1: forgotten everything. I've given it up long ago, looking at
• 1:50:22
  Speaker 1: the ceiling as though trying to remember. He played two
• 1:50:25
  Speaker 1: pieces of Tchaikovsky with exquisite expression, with such warmth, such insight.
• 1:50:30
  Speaker 1: His face was just as usual, neither stupid nor intelligent,
• 1:50:34
  Speaker 1: and it seemed to me a perfect marvel that a
• 1:50:37
  Speaker 1: man whom I was accustomed to see in the midst
• 1:50:39
  Speaker 1: of the most degrading, impure surroundings, was capable of such purity,
• 1:50:44
  Speaker 1: of rising to a feeling so lofty, so far beyond
• 1:50:47
  Speaker 1: my reach. Zenaida Fyodorovna's face glowed, and she walked about
• 1:50:52
  Speaker 1: the drawing room in emotion. Wait a bit, godmother, if
• 1:50:56
  Speaker 1: I can remember it, I will play you something. He said.
• 1:50:59
  Speaker 1: I heard it played on the violoncello, beginning timidly and
• 1:51:03
  Speaker 1: picking out the notes, and then gathering confidence, he played
• 1:51:07
  Speaker 1: sanseeon Swan's song. He played it through and then played
• 1:51:10
  Speaker 1: it a second time. It's nice, isn't it? He said?
• 1:51:15
  Speaker 1: Moved by the music, Zenaida Fyodorovna stood beside him and asked,
• 1:51:19
  Speaker 1: tell me honestly as a friend. What do you think
• 1:51:22
  Speaker 1: about me? What am I to say? He said, raising
• 1:51:25
  Speaker 1: his eyebrows. I love you and think nothing but good
• 1:51:28
  Speaker 1: of you. But if you wish that I should speak
• 1:51:30
  Speaker 1: generally about the question that interests you, He went on,
• 1:51:33
  Speaker 1: rubbing his sleeve near the elbow, and then frowning. Then,
• 1:51:38
  Speaker 1: my dear, you know, to follow freely the promptings of
• 1:51:41
  Speaker 1: the heart does not always give good people happiness. To
• 1:51:45
  Speaker 1: feel free and at the same time to be happy,
• 1:51:48
  Speaker 1: it seems to me one must not conceal from oneself
• 1:51:51
  Speaker 1: that life is coarse, cruel, and merciless in its conservatism,
• 1:51:55
  Speaker 1: and one must retaliate with what it deserves. That is,
• 1:51:58
  Speaker 1: be as coarse and as merciless, and one striving for freedom.
• 1:52:02
  Speaker 1: That's what I think. Well, that's beyond me, said Zenaida Fyodorovna,
• 1:52:07
  Speaker 1: with a mournful smile. I am exhausted already. I am
• 1:52:10
  Speaker 1: so exhausted that I wouldn't stir a finger from my
• 1:52:13
  Speaker 1: own salvation go into a nunnery. He said this in jest,
• 1:52:17
  Speaker 1: but after he had said it, tears glistened in Zenaida
• 1:52:20
  Speaker 1: Fyodorovna's eyes, and then in his well. He said, we've
• 1:52:24
  Speaker 1: been sitting and sitting, and now we must go. Goodbye,
• 1:52:27
  Speaker 1: dear Godmother, God give you health. He kissed both her hands,
• 1:52:32
  Speaker 1: and stroking them tenderly, said that he would certainly come
• 1:52:35
  Speaker 1: to see her again in a day or two. In
• 1:52:38
  Speaker 1: the hole, as he was putting on his overcoat that
• 1:52:40
  Speaker 1: was so like a child's police, he fumbled long in
• 1:52:43
  Speaker 1: his pockets to find a tip for me, but found
• 1:52:46
  Speaker 1: nothing there. Goodbye, my dear fellow, he said sadly, and
• 1:52:50
  Speaker 1: went away. I shall never forget the feeling that this
• 1:52:53
  Speaker 1: man left behind him. Zenaida Fyodorovna still walked about the
• 1:52:57
  Speaker 1: room in her excitement. That she was walking about and
• 1:53:00
  Speaker 1: not still lying down was so much to the good.
• 1:53:04
  Speaker 1: I wanted to take advantage of this mood to speak
• 1:53:07
  Speaker 1: to her openly, and then to go away. But I
• 1:53:09
  Speaker 1: had hardly seen Gruzin out when I heard a ring.
• 1:53:12
  Speaker 1: It was Kukushkin. Is georgy Ivanitch at home? He said,
• 1:53:16
  Speaker 1: Has he come back? You say, no, What a pity.
• 1:53:19
  Speaker 1: In that case, I'll go in and kiss your mistress's
• 1:53:21
  Speaker 1: hand and stow away. Zenia Fyodorovna, May I come in,
• 1:53:24
  Speaker 1: he cried, I want to kiss your hand. Excuse my
• 1:53:27
  Speaker 1: being so late, he was not long in the drawing room,
• 1:53:30
  Speaker 1: not more than ten minutes, but I felt as though
• 1:53:33
  Speaker 1: he were staying a long while and would never go away.
• 1:53:36
  Speaker 1: I bit my lips from indignation and annoyance, and already
• 1:53:40
  Speaker 1: hated Zenaida Fyodorovna. Why does she not turn him out,
• 1:53:43
  Speaker 1: I thought, indignantly, though it was evident that she was
• 1:53:46
  Speaker 1: bored by his company. When I held his fur coat
• 1:53:50
  Speaker 1: for him, he asked me, as a mark of special
• 1:53:52
  Speaker 1: good will, how I managed to get on without a wife.
• 1:53:56
  Speaker 1: But I don't suppose you waste your time, he said laughingly.
• 1:53:59
  Speaker 1: I've no doubt, Polia, and you are as thick as thieves,
• 1:54:02
  Speaker 1: you rascal. In spite of my experience of life, I
• 1:54:06
  Speaker 1: knew very little of mankind at that time, and it
• 1:54:09
  Speaker 1: is very likely that I often exaggerated what was of
• 1:54:12
  Speaker 1: little consequence and failed to observe what was important. It
• 1:54:16
  Speaker 1: seemed to me that it was not without motive that
• 1:54:18
  Speaker 1: Kukushkin tittered and flattered me. Could it be that he
• 1:54:22
  Speaker 1: was hoping that I, like a flunky, would gossip in
• 1:54:25
  Speaker 1: other kitchens and servants quarters of his coming to see
• 1:54:28
  Speaker 1: us in the evenings when Orlov was away and staying
• 1:54:31
  Speaker 1: with Zenaida Fyodorovna till late at night, and when my
• 1:54:34
  Speaker 1: tittle tattle came to the ears of his acquaintance, he
• 1:54:37
  Speaker 1: would drop his eyes in confusion and shake his little finger,
• 1:54:41
  Speaker 1: and would not he, I thought, looking at his little
• 1:54:43
  Speaker 1: honeyed face, this very evening at cards, pretend and perhaps
• 1:54:47
  Speaker 1: declare that he had already won Zenaida Fyodorovna from Orlav
• 1:54:52
  Speaker 1: that hatred which failed me at midday, when the old
• 1:54:55
  Speaker 1: father had come took possession of me. Now Kukushkin went
• 1:54:59
  Speaker 1: away at la last, And as I listened to the
• 1:55:01
  Speaker 1: shuffle of his leather goloshes, I felt greatly tempted to
• 1:55:05
  Speaker 1: fling after him as a parting shot, some coarse word
• 1:55:08
  Speaker 1: of abuse. But I restrained myself, and when the steps
• 1:55:12
  Speaker 1: had died away on the stairs, I went back to
• 1:55:14
  Speaker 1: the hole, and, hardly conscious of what I was doing,
• 1:55:18
  Speaker 1: took up the roll of papers that Gruzin had left behind,
• 1:55:21
  Speaker 1: and ran headlong downstairs. Without cap or overcoat. I ran
• 1:55:26
  Speaker 1: down into the street. It was not cold, but big
• 1:55:29
  Speaker 1: flakes of snow were falling, and it was windy, Your excellency,
• 1:55:33
  Speaker 1: I cried, catching up Kkushkin, Your excellency, He stopped under
• 1:55:37
  Speaker 1: a lamp post, and looked round with surprise, your excellency,
• 1:55:41
  Speaker 1: I said, Breathless, your excellency, and not able to think
• 1:55:44
  Speaker 1: of anything to say, I hit him two or three
• 1:55:47
  Speaker 1: times on the face with a roll of paper, completely
• 1:55:50
  Speaker 1: at a loss, and hardly wondering I had so completely
• 1:55:53
  Speaker 1: taken him by surprise. He leaned his back against the
• 1:55:56
  Speaker 1: lamp post and put up his hands to protect his face.
• 1:56:00
  Speaker 1: At that moment, an army doctor passed and saw how
• 1:56:02
  Speaker 1: I was beating the man, but he merely looked at
• 1:56:05
  Speaker 1: us in astonishment and went on. I felt ashamed, and
• 1:56:08
  Speaker 1: I ran back to the house. End of chapter eleven.
• 1:56:14
  Speaker 1: Recording by ex patriot in Bangor, Maine. Chapter twelve of
• 1:56:24
  Speaker 1: an anonymous story by Anton Chekhov, translated by Constance Garnett
• 1:56:29
  Speaker 1: eighteen sixty one to nineteen forty six. This LibriVox recording
• 1:56:34
  Speaker 1: is in the public domain. Recording by ex patriot in Bangor, Maine,
• 1:56:39
  Speaker 1: Chapter twelve. With my head wet from the snow and
• 1:56:45
  Speaker 1: gasping for breath, I ran to my room and immediately
• 1:56:47
  Speaker 1: flung off my swallowtails, put on a reefer jacket and
• 1:56:50
  Speaker 1: an overcoat, and carried my portmanteau out into the passage.
• 1:56:55
  Speaker 1: I must get away, But before going, I hurriedly sat
• 1:56:58
  Speaker 1: down and began writing to Orlo. I leave you my
• 1:57:01
  Speaker 1: false passport, I began. I beg you to keep it
• 1:57:04
  Speaker 1: as a memento, You false man, you Petersburg official, to
• 1:57:08
  Speaker 1: steal into another man's house under a false name, to watch,
• 1:57:11
  Speaker 1: under the mask of a flunky, this person's intimate life,
• 1:57:14
  Speaker 1: to hear everything, to see everything in order later on, unasked,
• 1:57:18
  Speaker 1: to accuse a man of lying. All this, you will say,
• 1:57:21
  Speaker 1: is on a level with theft. Yes, but I care
• 1:57:24
  Speaker 1: nothing for fine feelings. Now I have endured dozens of
• 1:57:27
  Speaker 1: your dinners and suppers when you said and did what
• 1:57:29
  Speaker 1: you liked, and I had to hear, to look on
• 1:57:32
  Speaker 1: and be silent. I don't want to make you a
• 1:57:34
  Speaker 1: present of my silence. Besides, if there is not a
• 1:57:37
  Speaker 1: living soul at hand who dares to tell you the
• 1:57:39
  Speaker 1: truth without flattery, let your flunky step on wash your
• 1:57:43
  Speaker 1: magnificent countenance for you. I did not like this beginning,
• 1:57:47
  Speaker 1: but I did not care to alter it. Besides, what
• 1:57:49
  Speaker 1: did it matter? The big windows with their dark curtains,
• 1:57:53
  Speaker 1: the bed, the crumpled dress coat on the floor, and
• 1:57:56
  Speaker 1: my wet footprints looked gloomy and forbidding, and there was
• 1:57:59
  Speaker 1: a peculiar stillness, possibly because I had run out into
• 1:58:03
  Speaker 1: the street without my cap and galoshes. I was in
• 1:58:05
  Speaker 1: a high fever. My face burned, my legs ached, my
• 1:58:09
  Speaker 1: heavy head drooped over the table, and there was that
• 1:58:11
  Speaker 1: kind of division in my thought, when every idea in
• 1:58:14
  Speaker 1: the brain seemed dogged by its shadow. I am ill, weak,
• 1:58:18
  Speaker 1: morally cast down, I went on, I cannot write to
• 1:58:21
  Speaker 1: you as I should like to. From the first moment
• 1:58:24
  Speaker 1: I desired to insult and humiliate you, But now I
• 1:58:27
  Speaker 1: do not feel that I have the right to do so.
• 1:58:30
  Speaker 1: You and I have both fallen, and neither of us
• 1:58:32
  Speaker 1: will ever rise up again. And even if my letter
• 1:58:36
  Speaker 1: were eloquent, terrible, and passionate, it would still seem like
• 1:58:39
  Speaker 1: beating on the lid of a coffin. However one knocks
• 1:58:42
  Speaker 1: upon it, one will not wake up the dead. No
• 1:58:45
  Speaker 1: efforts could warm your cursed cold blood. And you know
• 1:58:49
  Speaker 1: that better than I do. Why write? But my mind
• 1:58:52
  Speaker 1: and heart are burning, and I go on writing For
• 1:58:55
  Speaker 1: some reason. I am moved as though this letter still
• 1:58:57
  Speaker 1: might save you and me. I am so feverish that
• 1:59:00
  Speaker 1: my thoughts are disconnected, and my pen scratches the paper
• 1:59:04
  Speaker 1: without meaning. But the question I want to put to
• 1:59:07
  Speaker 1: you stands before me as clear as though in letters
• 1:59:09
  Speaker 1: of flame. Why I am prematurely weak and fallen is
• 1:59:13
  Speaker 1: not hard to explain. Like Samson of Old, I have
• 1:59:17
  Speaker 1: taken the gates of Gaza on my shoulders to carry
• 1:59:20
  Speaker 1: them to the top of the mountain. And only when
• 1:59:22
  Speaker 1: I was exhausted, when youth and health were quenched in me,
• 1:59:26
  Speaker 1: forever I noticed that that burden was not from my shoulders,
• 1:59:30
  Speaker 1: and that I had deceived myself. I have been moreover
• 1:59:33
  Speaker 1: in cruel and continual pain. I have endured cold, hunger, illness,
• 1:59:38
  Speaker 1: and loss of liberty of personal happiness. I know and
• 1:59:42
  Speaker 1: have known nothing. I have no home. My memories are bitter,
• 1:59:46
  Speaker 1: and my conscience is often in dread of them. But
• 1:59:48
  Speaker 1: why have you fallen? You? What fatal diabolical causes hindered
• 1:59:53
  Speaker 1: your life from blossoming into full flower? Why almost before
• 1:59:57
  Speaker 1: beginning life were you in such haste to care asked
• 2:00:00
  Speaker 1: off the image and likeness of God and to become
• 2:00:03
  Speaker 1: a cowardly beast who backs and scares others because he
• 2:00:06
  Speaker 1: is afraid himself. You are afraid of life, as afraid
• 2:00:10
  Speaker 1: of it as an Oriental who sits all day on
• 2:00:12
  Speaker 1: a cushion smoking his hookah. Yes, you read a great deal,
• 2:00:16
  Speaker 1: and a European coat fits you well. But yet with
• 2:00:19
  Speaker 1: what tender purely oriental pasha like care you protect yourself
• 2:00:24
  Speaker 1: from hunger, cold, physical effort, from pain and uneasiness. How
• 2:00:28
  Speaker 1: early your soul has taken to its dressing gown. What
• 2:00:32
  Speaker 1: a cowardly part you have played towards real life and
• 2:00:35
  Speaker 1: nature with which every healthy and normal man struggles. How soft,
• 2:00:39
  Speaker 1: how snug, how warm, how comfortable, and how bored you are? Yes,
• 2:00:44
  Speaker 1: it is deathly boredom, unrelieved by one ray of light,
• 2:00:48
  Speaker 1: as in solitary confinement. But you try to hide from
• 2:00:51
  Speaker 1: that enemy too. You play cards eight hours out of
• 2:00:54
  Speaker 1: twenty four, and your irony, Oh, but how well I
• 2:00:58
  Speaker 1: understand it. Free, bold living thought is searching and dominating
• 2:01:03
  Speaker 1: for an indolent, sluggish mind. It is intolerable that it
• 2:01:07
  Speaker 1: may not disturb your peace. Like thousands of your contemporaries,
• 2:01:11
  Speaker 1: you make haste in youth to put it under bar
• 2:01:14
  Speaker 1: and bolt. Your ironical attitude to life, or whatever you
• 2:01:17
  Speaker 1: like to call it, is your armor, and your thought,
• 2:01:20
  Speaker 1: fettered and frightened, dare not leap over the fence you
• 2:01:23
  Speaker 1: have put round it. And when you jeer at ideas
• 2:01:26
  Speaker 1: which you pretend to know all about, you are like
• 2:01:29
  Speaker 1: the deserter fleeing from the field of battle, and to
• 2:01:32
  Speaker 1: stifle his shame, sneering at war and at valor, cynicism
• 2:01:36
  Speaker 1: stifles pain. In some novel of Dostoevsky's, an old man
• 2:01:40
  Speaker 1: tramples underfoot the portrait of his dearly loved daughter because
• 2:01:44
  Speaker 1: he had been unjust to her. And you vent your
• 2:01:47
  Speaker 1: foul and vulgar jeers upon the ideas of goodness and truth,
• 2:01:50
  Speaker 1: because you have not the strength to follow them. You
• 2:01:53
  Speaker 1: are frightened of every honest and truthful hint at your degradation,
• 2:01:57
  Speaker 1: and you purposely surround yourself with people who do nothing
• 2:02:00
  Speaker 1: but flatter your weaknesses. And you may well, you may
• 2:02:04
  Speaker 1: well dread the sight of tears by the way your
• 2:02:07
  Speaker 1: attitude to women. Shamelessness has been handed down to us
• 2:02:11
  Speaker 1: in our flesh and blood, and we are trained to shamelessness.
• 2:02:14
  Speaker 1: But that is what we are men for, to subdue
• 2:02:17
  Speaker 1: the beast in us. When you reached manhood and all
• 2:02:20
  Speaker 1: ideas became known to you. You could not have failed
• 2:02:23
  Speaker 1: to see the truth. You knew it, but you did
• 2:02:25
  Speaker 1: not follow it. You were afraid of it, and to
• 2:02:28
  Speaker 1: deceive your conscience, you began loudly assuring yourself that it
• 2:02:32
  Speaker 1: was not you but woman that was to blame, that
• 2:02:34
  Speaker 1: she was as degraded as your attitude to her, Your cold,
• 2:02:38
  Speaker 1: scabrous anecdotes, your coarse laughter, all your innumerable theories concerning
• 2:02:43
  Speaker 1: the underlying reality of marriage and the definite demands made
• 2:02:47
  Speaker 1: upon it, concerning the ten sous, the French workman pays
• 2:02:50
  Speaker 1: as woman, Your everlasting attacks on female logic, lying weakness,
• 2:02:55
  Speaker 1: and so on. Doesn't it all look like a desire
• 2:02:58
  Speaker 1: at all costs to force woman down into the mud
• 2:03:01
  Speaker 1: that she may be on the same level as your
• 2:03:03
  Speaker 1: attitude to her. You are a weak, unhappy, unpleasant person.
• 2:03:08
  Speaker 1: Zennia Fyodorovna began playing the piano in the drawing room,
• 2:03:12
  Speaker 1: trying to recall the song of Saint Seon that Gruzin
• 2:03:15
  Speaker 1: had played. I went and lay on my bed, but
• 2:03:18
  Speaker 1: remembering that it was time for me to go, I
• 2:03:20
  Speaker 1: got up with an effort, and with a heavy burning head,
• 2:03:23
  Speaker 1: went to the table again. But this is the question,
• 2:03:27
  Speaker 1: I went on. Why are we worn out? Why are we,
• 2:03:30
  Speaker 1: at first so passionate, so bold, so noble, and so
• 2:03:33
  Speaker 1: full of faith, complete bankrupts at thirty or thirty five?
• 2:03:37
  Speaker 1: Why does one waste in consumption, another put a bullet
• 2:03:41
  Speaker 1: through his brains. A third seeks forgetfulness in vodka and cards,
• 2:03:45
  Speaker 1: while the fourth tries to stifle his fear and misery
• 2:03:48
  Speaker 1: by cynically trampling underfoot the pure image of his fair youth.
• 2:03:53
  Speaker 1: Why is it that, having once fallen, we do not
• 2:03:55
  Speaker 1: try to rise up again, and, losing one thing, do
• 2:03:58
  Speaker 1: not seek something else? Why is it the thief hanging
• 2:04:02
  Speaker 1: on the cross could bring back the joy of life
• 2:04:05
  Speaker 1: and the courage of confident hope, though perhaps he had
• 2:04:08
  Speaker 1: not more than an hour to live, You have long
• 2:04:12
  Speaker 1: years before you, and I shall probably not die so
• 2:04:15
  Speaker 1: soon as one might suppose. What if, by a miracle,
• 2:04:18
  Speaker 1: the present turned out to be a dream, a horrible nightmare,
• 2:04:22
  Speaker 1: and we should wake up renewed, pure, strong, proud of
• 2:04:25
  Speaker 1: our righteousness. Sweet visions fire me, and I am almost
• 2:04:29
  Speaker 1: breathless with emotion. I have a terrible longing to live.
• 2:04:33
  Speaker 1: I long for our life to be wholly lofty, and
• 2:04:36
  Speaker 1: majestic as the heavens above. Let us live. The sun
• 2:04:40
  Speaker 1: doesn't rise twice a day, and life is not given
• 2:04:43
  Speaker 1: us again. Clutch at what is left of your life
• 2:04:45
  Speaker 1: and save it. I did not write another word. I
• 2:04:49
  Speaker 1: had a multitude of thoughts in my mind, but I
• 2:04:52
  Speaker 1: could not connect them and get them onto paper. Without
• 2:04:55
  Speaker 1: finishing the letter, I signed it with my name and
• 2:04:57
  Speaker 1: rank and went into the study. It was dark. I
• 2:05:01
  Speaker 1: felt for the table and put the letter on it.
• 2:05:03
  Speaker 1: I must have stumbled against the furniture in the dark
• 2:05:06
  Speaker 1: and made a noise. Who was there? I heard an
• 2:05:09
  Speaker 1: alarmed voice in the drawing room, and the clock on
• 2:05:12
  Speaker 1: the table softly struck one at the moment end of
• 2:05:17
  Speaker 1: chapter twelve. Recording by ex Patriot in Bangor main Chapter
• 2:05:28
  Speaker 1: thirteen of an anonymous story by Anton Chekhov. This LibriVox
• 2:05:33
  Speaker 1: recording is in the public domain. Recording by ex Patriot
• 2:05:37
  Speaker 1: in Bangor, main chapter thirteen. For at least half a minute,
• 2:05:43
  Speaker 1: I fumbled at the door in the dark, feeling for
• 2:05:45
  Speaker 1: the handle. Then I slowly opened it and walked into
• 2:05:48
  Speaker 1: the drawing room. The night of Fyodorovna was lying on
• 2:05:52
  Speaker 1: the couch and raising herself on her elbow. She looked
• 2:05:55
  Speaker 1: towards me. Unable to bring myself to speak, I walked
• 2:05:59
  Speaker 1: slowly by, and she followed me with her eyes. I
• 2:06:02
  Speaker 1: stood for a little time in the dining room, and
• 2:06:05
  Speaker 1: then walked by her again, and she looked at me
• 2:06:08
  Speaker 1: intently and with perplexity, even with alarm. At last, I
• 2:06:12
  Speaker 1: stood still and said, with an effort, he is not
• 2:06:15
  Speaker 1: coming back. She quickly got on to her feet and
• 2:06:18
  Speaker 1: looked at me, without understanding. He is not coming back,
• 2:06:22
  Speaker 1: I repeated, and my heart beat violently. He will not
• 2:06:25
  Speaker 1: come back, for he has not left Petersburg. He is
• 2:06:28
  Speaker 1: staying at Pekarski's. She understood and believed me. I saw
• 2:06:33
  Speaker 1: that from her sudden pallor, and from the way she
• 2:06:35
  Speaker 1: laid her arms upon her bosom in terror and entreaty.
• 2:06:39
  Speaker 1: In one instant, all that had happened of late flashed
• 2:06:42
  Speaker 1: through her mind. She reflected, and with pitiless clarity she
• 2:06:46
  Speaker 1: saw the whole truth. But at the same time she
• 2:06:49
  Speaker 1: remembered that I was a flunky, a being of a
• 2:06:52
  Speaker 1: lower order, a casual stranger, with hair ruffled, with face
• 2:06:57
  Speaker 1: flushed with fever, perhaps drunk in a common over, was
• 2:07:00
  Speaker 1: coarsely intruding into her intimate life, and that offended her.
• 2:07:04
  Speaker 1: She said to me sternly, it's not your business. Go away.
• 2:07:09
  Speaker 1: Oh believe me, I cried, impetuously, holding out my hands
• 2:07:12
  Speaker 1: to her. I am not a footman. I am as
• 2:07:15
  Speaker 1: free as you. I mentioned my name, and speaking very rapidly,
• 2:07:19
  Speaker 1: that she might not interrupt me or go away, explain
• 2:07:22
  Speaker 1: to her who I was and why I was living there.
• 2:07:25
  Speaker 1: This new discovery struck her more than the first. Till then,
• 2:07:29
  Speaker 1: she had hoped that her footman had lied, or made
• 2:07:31
  Speaker 1: a mistake, or been silly. But now, after my confession,
• 2:07:34
  Speaker 1: she had no doubts left. From the expression of her
• 2:07:38
  Speaker 1: unhappy eyes and face, which suddenly lost its softness and
• 2:07:41
  Speaker 1: beauty and looked old. I saw that she was insufferably miserable,
• 2:07:46
  Speaker 1: and that the conversation would lead to no good. But
• 2:07:49
  Speaker 1: I went on impetuously. The Senator and the tour of
• 2:07:52
  Speaker 1: inspection were invented to deceive you. In January, just as now,
• 2:07:56
  Speaker 1: he did not go away, but stayed at Pekarski's, and
• 2:08:00
  Speaker 1: I saw him every day and took part in the deception.
• 2:08:03
  Speaker 1: He was weary of you, He hated your presence here.
• 2:08:06
  Speaker 1: He mocked at you, if you could have heard how
• 2:08:08
  Speaker 1: he and his friends here jeered at you and your love,
• 2:08:11
  Speaker 1: you would not have remained here one minute. Go away
• 2:08:13
  Speaker 1: from here, Go away, well, she said, in a shaking voice,
• 2:08:18
  Speaker 1: and moved her hand over her hair. Well, so be it.
• 2:08:22
  Speaker 1: Her eyes were full of tears, her lips were quivering,
• 2:08:26
  Speaker 1: and her whole face was strikingly pale and distorted with
• 2:08:29
  Speaker 1: anger orloft. Coarse petty lying revolted her and seemed to
• 2:08:34
  Speaker 1: her contemptible, ridiculous. She smiled, and I did not like
• 2:08:38
  Speaker 1: that smile. Well, she repeated, passing her hand over her
• 2:08:42
  Speaker 1: hair again, So be it. He imagines that I shall
• 2:08:45
  Speaker 1: die of humiliation, and instead of that, I am amused
• 2:08:49
  Speaker 1: by it. There's no need for him to hide. She
• 2:08:52
  Speaker 1: walked away from the piano and said, shrugging her shoulders,
• 2:08:55
  Speaker 1: there's no need. It would have been simpler to have
• 2:08:58
  Speaker 1: it out with me instead of keep and hiding in
• 2:09:00
  Speaker 1: other people's flats. I have eyes, I saw it myself
• 2:09:04
  Speaker 1: long ago. I was only waiting for him to come back,
• 2:09:07
  Speaker 1: to have things out once for all. Then she sat
• 2:09:10
  Speaker 1: down on a low chair by the table, and leaning
• 2:09:14
  Speaker 1: her head on the arm of the sofa, wept bitterly
• 2:09:17
  Speaker 1: in the drawing room. There was only one candle burning
• 2:09:20
  Speaker 1: in the candelabra, and the chair where she was sitting
• 2:09:23
  Speaker 1: was in darkness. But I saw how her head and
• 2:09:26
  Speaker 1: shoulders were quivering, and how her hair escaping from her combs,
• 2:09:31
  Speaker 1: covered her neck, her face, her arms. Her quiet, steady weeping,
• 2:09:35
  Speaker 1: which was not hysterical but a woman's ordinary weeping, expressed
• 2:09:40
  Speaker 1: a sense of insult, of wounded pride, of injury, and
• 2:09:44
  Speaker 1: of something helpless, hopeless, which one could not set right,
• 2:09:48
  Speaker 1: into which one could not get used. Her tears stirred
• 2:09:51
  Speaker 1: an echo in my troubled and suffering heart. I forgot
• 2:09:55
  Speaker 1: my illness and everything else in the world. I walked
• 2:09:58
  Speaker 1: about the drawing room in muttered distractedly, is this life? Oh?
• 2:10:03
  Speaker 1: One can't go on living like this? One can't. Oh,
• 2:10:06
  Speaker 1: it's madness, wickedness, not life. What humiliation? She said, through
• 2:10:11
  Speaker 1: her tears, to live together, To smile at me at
• 2:10:14
  Speaker 1: the very time when I was burdensome to him, ridiculous
• 2:10:18
  Speaker 1: in his eyes, Oh, how humiliating. She lifted up her
• 2:10:22
  Speaker 1: head and looking at me with tears stained eyes, through
• 2:10:25
  Speaker 1: her hair wet with her tears, and pushing it back
• 2:10:28
  Speaker 1: as it prevented her seeing me. She asked, They laughed
• 2:10:31
  Speaker 1: at me. To these men, you were laughable, you and
• 2:10:35
  Speaker 1: your love and Turgenef. They said, your head was full
• 2:10:37
  Speaker 1: of him, and if we both die at once in despair,
• 2:10:41
  Speaker 1: that will amuse them too. They will make a funny
• 2:10:43
  Speaker 1: anecdote of it and tell it at your requiem service.
• 2:10:47
  Speaker 1: But why talk of them? I said impatiently. We must
• 2:10:50
  Speaker 1: get away from here. I cannot stay here one minute longer.
• 2:10:54
  Speaker 1: She began crying again, while I walked to the piano
• 2:10:57
  Speaker 1: and sat down. What are we waiting for? I asked, dejectedly.
• 2:11:01
  Speaker 1: It's two o'clock. I am not waiting for anything, She said.
• 2:11:05
  Speaker 1: I am utterly lost. Why do you talk like that?
• 2:11:08
  Speaker 1: We had better consider together what we are to do.
• 2:11:11
  Speaker 1: Neither you nor I can stay here. Where do you
• 2:11:13
  Speaker 1: intend to go? Suddenly there was a ring at the bell.
• 2:11:17
  Speaker 1: My heart stood still. Could it be Orlov, to whom
• 2:11:20
  Speaker 1: perhaps Kukushkin had complained of me? How should we meet?
• 2:11:24
  Speaker 1: I went to open the door. It was Polia. She
• 2:11:27
  Speaker 1: came in, shaking the snow off her police and went
• 2:11:30
  Speaker 1: into her room without saying a word to me. When
• 2:11:32
  Speaker 1: I went back to the drawing room. Zenaida Fyodorovna, pale
• 2:11:36
  Speaker 1: as death, was standing in the middle of the room,
• 2:11:39
  Speaker 1: looking towards me with big eyes. Who was it, she
• 2:11:42
  Speaker 1: asked softly, Polia, I answered. She passed her hand over
• 2:11:46
  Speaker 1: her hair and closed her eyes wearily. I will go
• 2:11:49
  Speaker 1: away at once, she said, Will you be kind and
• 2:11:52
  Speaker 1: take me to the Petersburg side? What time is it now?
• 2:11:55
  Speaker 1: A quarter to three? End of chapter thirteen. Recording by
• 2:12:01
  Speaker 1: expatriot in Bangor, Maine. Chapter fourteen of an anonymous story
• 2:12:12
  Speaker 1: by Anton Tchekhov, translated by Constance Garnett eighteen sixty one
• 2:12:17
  Speaker 1: to nineteen forty six. This LibriVox recording is in the
• 2:12:21
  Speaker 1: public domain. Recording by expatriot in Bangor, Maine, Chapter fourteen.
• 2:12:30
  Speaker 1: When a little afterwards we went out of the house,
• 2:12:33
  Speaker 1: it was dark and deserted in the street, wet snow
• 2:12:37
  Speaker 1: was falling, and a damp wind lashed in one's face.
• 2:12:41
  Speaker 1: I remember it was the beginning of March. A thaw
• 2:12:43
  Speaker 1: had set in, and for some days past the cabman
• 2:12:46
  Speaker 1: had been driving on wheels under the impression of the
• 2:12:50
  Speaker 1: back stairs, of the cold, of the midnight darkness, and
• 2:12:53
  Speaker 1: the porter in his sheepskin who had questioned us before
• 2:12:56
  Speaker 1: letting us out of the gate. Zenaida Fyodorovna was utterly
• 2:12:59
  Speaker 1: cast down and dispirited when we got into the cab
• 2:13:03
  Speaker 1: and the hood was put up, Trembling all over, she
• 2:13:06
  Speaker 1: began hurriedly saying how grateful she was to me. I
• 2:13:10
  Speaker 1: do not doubt your good will, but I am ashamed
• 2:13:12
  Speaker 1: that you should be troubled. She muttered, Oh, I understand,
• 2:13:15
  Speaker 1: I understand. When Gruzin was here to day, I felt
• 2:13:19
  Speaker 1: that he was lying and concealing something. Well, so be it.
• 2:13:22
  Speaker 1: But I am ashamed anyway that you should be troubled.
• 2:13:26
  Speaker 1: She still had her doubts to dispel them. Finally, I
• 2:13:29
  Speaker 1: asked the cabman to drive through Sergyevsky Street, stopping him
• 2:13:33
  Speaker 1: at Pekarski's door. I got out of the cab and rang.
• 2:13:37
  Speaker 1: When the porter came to the door, I asked aloud
• 2:13:40
  Speaker 1: that Zenaida Fyodorovna might hear whether Georgy Ivanitch was at home. Yes,
• 2:13:45
  Speaker 1: was the answer. He came in half an hour ago.
• 2:13:47
  Speaker 1: He must be in bed by Now what do you want?
• 2:13:51
  Speaker 1: Zenaida Fyodorovna could not refrain from putting her head out.
• 2:13:55
  Speaker 1: Has Georgy Ivanitch been staying here long, she asked, going
• 2:13:58
  Speaker 1: on for three weeks and he's not been away. No,
• 2:14:02
  Speaker 1: answered the porter, looking at me with surprise, Tell him
• 2:14:06
  Speaker 1: early tomorrow, I said that his sister has arrived from Warsaw. Goodbye.
• 2:14:11
  Speaker 1: Then we drove on. The cab had no apron. The
• 2:14:14
  Speaker 1: snow fell on us in big flakes, and the wind,
• 2:14:17
  Speaker 1: especially on the Nava, pierced us through and through. I
• 2:14:21
  Speaker 1: began to feel as though we had been driving for
• 2:14:23
  Speaker 1: a long time, that for ages we had been suffering,
• 2:14:26
  Speaker 1: and that for ages I had been listening to Zenaida
• 2:14:28
  Speaker 1: Fyodorovna's shuddering breath. In semi delirium, as though half asleep,
• 2:14:33
  Speaker 1: I looked back upon my strange, incoherent life, and for
• 2:14:37
  Speaker 1: some reason recalled a melodrama, the Parisian Beggars, which I
• 2:14:41
  Speaker 1: had seen once or twice in my childhood. And when
• 2:14:44
  Speaker 1: to shake off that semi delirium, I peeped out from
• 2:14:47
  Speaker 1: the hood and saw the dawn. All the images of
• 2:14:50
  Speaker 1: the past, all my misty thoughts, for some reason blended
• 2:14:54
  Speaker 1: in me into one distinct, overpowering thought. Everything was irrevocably over.
• 2:14:59
  Speaker 1: For Zaida Fyodorovna and for me this was as certain
• 2:15:03
  Speaker 1: a conviction, as though the cold, blue sky contained a prophecy.
• 2:15:07
  Speaker 1: But a minute later I was already thinking of something
• 2:15:10
  Speaker 1: else and believed differently. What am I now, said Zenaida Fyodorovna,
• 2:15:15
  Speaker 1: in a voice husky, with the cold and the damp.
• 2:15:17
  Speaker 1: Where am I to go? What am I to do?
• 2:15:20
  Speaker 1: Gruzin told me to go into a nunnery. Oh I would.
• 2:15:23
  Speaker 1: I would change my dress, my face, my name, my thoughts,
• 2:15:27
  Speaker 1: everything everything, and would hide myself forever. But they will
• 2:15:31
  Speaker 1: not take me into a nunnery. I am with child.
• 2:15:35
  Speaker 1: We will go abroad together tomorrow. I said, that's impossible.
• 2:15:38
  Speaker 1: My husband won't give me a passport. I will take
• 2:15:41
  Speaker 1: you without a passport. The cabman stopped at a wooden
• 2:15:45
  Speaker 1: house of two stories painted a dark color. I rang,
• 2:15:49
  Speaker 1: taking from me her small light basket, the only luggage
• 2:15:53
  Speaker 1: we had brought with us. Zenaida Fyodorovna gave a wry
• 2:15:56
  Speaker 1: smile and said, these are my bijou. But she was
• 2:16:00
  Speaker 1: so weak that she could not carry these bijou. It
• 2:16:03
  Speaker 1: was a long while before the door was opened. After
• 2:16:06
  Speaker 1: the third or fourth ring, a light gleamed in the windows,
• 2:16:10
  Speaker 1: and there was a sound of steps, coughing, and whispering.
• 2:16:13
  Speaker 1: At last, the key grated in the lock, and a
• 2:16:15
  Speaker 1: stout peasant woman with a frightened red face appeared at
• 2:16:19
  Speaker 1: the door. Some distance behind her stood a thin, little
• 2:16:22
  Speaker 1: old woman with short gray hair, carrying a candle in
• 2:16:26
  Speaker 1: her hand. Zenaida Fyodorovna ran into the passage and flung
• 2:16:30
  Speaker 1: her arms round the old woman's neck. Nina, I'd been deceived,
• 2:16:35
  Speaker 1: she sobbed loudly. I'd been coarsely, foully deceived, Nina. Nina.
• 2:16:41
  Speaker 1: I handed the basket to the peasant woman. The door
• 2:16:44
  Speaker 1: was closed, but still I heard her sobs and the cry.
• 2:16:46
  Speaker 1: Nina I got into the cab and told the man
• 2:16:50
  Speaker 1: to drive slowly to the Nevsky Prospect. I had to
• 2:16:53
  Speaker 1: think of a night's lodging for myself. Next day, towards evening,
• 2:16:58
  Speaker 1: I went to see Zenaida Fyodoro. She was terribly changed.
• 2:17:02
  Speaker 1: There were no traces of tears on her pale, terribly
• 2:17:05
  Speaker 1: sunken face, and her expression was different. I don't know
• 2:17:09
  Speaker 1: whether it was that I saw her now in different surroundings,
• 2:17:12
  Speaker 1: far from luxurious, and that our relations were by now different,
• 2:17:17
  Speaker 1: or perhaps that intense grief had already said its mark
• 2:17:20
  Speaker 1: upon her. She did not strike me as so elegant
• 2:17:23
  Speaker 1: and well dressed as before. Her figure seemed smaller. There
• 2:17:27
  Speaker 1: was an abruptness and excessive nervousness about her, as though
• 2:17:30
  Speaker 1: she were in a hurry, and there was not the
• 2:17:32
  Speaker 1: same softness even in her smile. I was dressed in
• 2:17:36
  Speaker 1: an expensive suit, which I had bought during the day.
• 2:17:39
  Speaker 1: She looked first of all at that suit and at
• 2:17:42
  Speaker 1: the hat in my hand, then turned an impatient, searching
• 2:17:45
  Speaker 1: glance upon my face, as though studying it. Your transformation
• 2:17:49
  Speaker 1: still seems to me a sort of miracle, She said,
• 2:17:52
  Speaker 1: forgive me for looking at you with such curiosity. You
• 2:17:55
  Speaker 1: are an extraordinary man, you know. I told her again
• 2:17:59
  Speaker 1: who I was and why I was living at Orloff,
• 2:18:02
  Speaker 1: and I told her at greater length and in more
• 2:18:04
  Speaker 1: detail than the day before. She listened with great attention
• 2:18:08
  Speaker 1: and said, without letting me finish everything, there is over
• 2:18:11
  Speaker 1: for me. You know, I could not refrain from writing
• 2:18:13
  Speaker 1: a letter. Here is the answer on the sheet which
• 2:18:17
  Speaker 1: she gave There was written in Orlov's hand. I am
• 2:18:20
  Speaker 1: not going to justify myself, but you must own that
• 2:18:23
  Speaker 1: it was your mistake, not mine. I wish you happiness
• 2:18:26
  Speaker 1: and beg you to make haste and forget yours. Sincerely,
• 2:18:30
  Speaker 1: g O P S. I am sending on your things.
• 2:18:35
  Speaker 1: The trunks and basquets dispatched by Orlov were standing in
• 2:18:38
  Speaker 1: the passage, and my poor little portmanteau was there beside them.
• 2:18:43
  Speaker 1: So Zenaida Fyodorovna began, but she did not finish. We
• 2:18:47
  Speaker 1: were silent. She took the note and held it for
• 2:18:50
  Speaker 1: a couple of minutes before her eyes, and during that
• 2:18:52
  Speaker 1: time her face wore the same haughty, contemptuous, proud and
• 2:18:56
  Speaker 1: harsh expression as the day before. At the beginning of
• 2:18:59
  Speaker 1: our explanation, tears came into her eyes, not timid, bitter tears,
• 2:19:04
  Speaker 1: but proud, angry tears. Listen, she said, getting up abruptly
• 2:19:09
  Speaker 1: and moving away to the window that I might not
• 2:19:11
  Speaker 1: see her face. I have made up my mind to
• 2:19:14
  Speaker 1: go abroad with you tomorrow. I am very glad. I
• 2:19:17
  Speaker 1: am ready to go to day accept me as a recruit.
• 2:19:21
  Speaker 1: Have you read Bullsac, she asked, suddenly turning around. Have
• 2:19:24
  Speaker 1: you At the end of his novel Peregorio, the hero
• 2:19:28
  Speaker 1: looks down upon Paris from the top of a hill
• 2:19:30
  Speaker 1: and threatens the town. Now we shall settle our account,
• 2:19:34
  Speaker 1: and after this he begins a new life. So when
• 2:19:37
  Speaker 1: I look out of the train window at Petersburg for
• 2:19:39
  Speaker 1: the last time, I shall say, now we shall settle
• 2:19:42
  Speaker 1: our account. Saying this, she smiled at her jest, and
• 2:19:46
  Speaker 1: for some reason shuddered all over. End of chapter fourteen.
• 2:19:52
  Speaker 1: Recording by expatria in Bangor, Main.
• 2:20:02
  Speaker 2: Chapter fifteen of an anonymous story by Anton Tchekhov, translated
• 2:20:06
  Speaker 2: by Constance Garnet eighteen sixty one to nineteen forty six.
• 2:20:10
  Speaker 2: This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by
• 2:20:14
  Speaker 2: expatriate in Bangor, Maine, Chapter fifteen. At Venice, I had
• 2:20:20
  Speaker 2: an attack of pleurisy. Probably I had caught cold in
• 2:20:24
  Speaker 2: the evening when we were rowing from the station to
• 2:20:27
  Speaker 2: the hotel Bauer. I had to take to my bed
• 2:20:30
  Speaker 2: and stay there for a fortnight. Every morning while I
• 2:20:33
  Speaker 2: was ill, Zenaida Fyodorovna came from her room to drink
• 2:20:37
  Speaker 2: coffee with me, and afterwards read aloud to me French
• 2:20:40
  Speaker 2: and Russian books of which we had bought a number
• 2:20:43
  Speaker 2: at Vienna. These books were either long long familiar to me,
• 2:20:47
  Speaker 2: or else had no interest for me. But I had
• 2:20:49
  Speaker 2: the sound of a sweet, kind voice beside me, so
• 2:20:53
  Speaker 2: that the meaning of all of them was summed up
• 2:20:55
  Speaker 2: for me in the one thing I was not alone.
• 2:20:58
  Speaker 2: She would go out for a walk, come back in
• 2:21:00
  Speaker 2: her light gray dress, her light straw hat, gay warmed
• 2:21:04
  Speaker 2: by the spring sun, and sitting by my bed, bending
• 2:21:07
  Speaker 2: low down over me, would tell me something about Venice,
• 2:21:10
  Speaker 2: or read me those books. And I was happy. At night,
• 2:21:14
  Speaker 2: I was cold, ill and dreary, But by day I
• 2:21:17
  Speaker 2: reveled in life. I can find no better expression for it.
• 2:21:21
  Speaker 2: The brilliant, warm sunshine beating in at the open windows
• 2:21:25
  Speaker 2: and at the door upon the balcony, the shouts below,
• 2:21:28
  Speaker 2: the splash of oars, the tinkle of bells, the prolonged
• 2:21:31
  Speaker 2: boom of the cannon at mid day, and the feeling
• 2:21:34
  Speaker 2: of perfect, perfect freedom did wonders with me. I felt
• 2:21:38
  Speaker 2: as though I were growing strong, broad wings which were
• 2:21:41
  Speaker 2: bearing me God knows whither, and what charm, what joy
• 2:21:45
  Speaker 2: at times at the thought that another life was so
• 2:21:47
  Speaker 2: close to mine, that I was the servant, the guardian,
• 2:21:51
  Speaker 2: the friend, the indispensable, fellow traveler of a creature young, beautiful, wealthy,
• 2:21:57
  Speaker 2: but weak, lonely and insulted. It is pleasant even to
• 2:22:01
  Speaker 2: be ill when you know that there are people who
• 2:22:03
  Speaker 2: are looking forward to your convalescence as to a holiday.
• 2:22:07
  Speaker 2: One day I heard her whispering behind the door with
• 2:22:09
  Speaker 2: my doctor, and then she came in to me with
• 2:22:12
  Speaker 2: tear stained eyes. It was a bad sign, but I
• 2:22:15
  Speaker 2: was touched, and there was a wonderful lightness in my heart.
• 2:22:18
  Speaker 2: But at last they allowed me to go out on
• 2:22:20
  Speaker 2: the balcony. The sunshine and the breeze from the sea
• 2:22:24
  Speaker 2: caressed and fondled my sick body. I looked down at
• 2:22:27
  Speaker 2: the familiar gondolas, which glide with feminine grace, smoothly and majestically,
• 2:22:33
  Speaker 2: as though they were alive, and felt all the luxury
• 2:22:36
  Speaker 2: of this original, fascinating civilization. There was a smell of
• 2:22:40
  Speaker 2: the sea. Some one was playing a stringed instrument, and
• 2:22:43
  Speaker 2: two voices were singing, how delightful it was, how unlike
• 2:22:48
  Speaker 2: it was to that Petersburg night, when the wet snow
• 2:22:51
  Speaker 2: was falling and beating so rudely on our faces. If
• 2:22:54
  Speaker 2: one looks straight across the canal, one sees the sea,
• 2:22:58
  Speaker 2: and on the wide expanse towards horizon, the sun glittered
• 2:23:02
  Speaker 2: on the water so dazzlingly that it hurt one's eyes
• 2:23:05
  Speaker 2: to look at it. My soul yearned towards that lovely sea,
• 2:23:09
  Speaker 2: which was so akin to me, and to which I
• 2:23:12
  Speaker 2: had given up my youth. I longed to live, to live,
• 2:23:15
  Speaker 2: and nothing more. A fortnight later I began walking freely.
• 2:23:20
  Speaker 2: I loved to sit in the sun, and to listen
• 2:23:22
  Speaker 2: to the gondoliers without understanding them, and for hours together
• 2:23:26
  Speaker 2: to gaze at the little house where they said Desdemona lived,
• 2:23:30
  Speaker 2: a naive, mournful little house, with a demure expression, as
• 2:23:34
  Speaker 2: light as lace, so light that it looked as though
• 2:23:37
  Speaker 2: one could lift it from its place with one hand.
• 2:23:40
  Speaker 2: I stood for a long time by the tomb of Canova,
• 2:23:43
  Speaker 2: and could not take my eyes off the melancholy lion.
• 2:23:46
  Speaker 2: And in the Palace of the Doges, I was always
• 2:23:49
  Speaker 2: drawn to the corner where the portrait of the unhappy
• 2:23:51
  Speaker 2: Marina Faliero was painted over with black. It is fine
• 2:23:56
  Speaker 2: to be an artist, a poet, a dramatist, I thought,
• 2:23:59
  Speaker 2: But since that is not vouchsafe to me, If only
• 2:24:01
  Speaker 2: I could go in for mysticism, if only I had
• 2:24:04
  Speaker 2: a grain of some faith to add to the unruffled
• 2:24:07
  Speaker 2: peace and serenity that fills the soul In the evening
• 2:24:11
  Speaker 2: we ate oysters, drank wine, and went out in a gondola.
• 2:24:14
  Speaker 2: I remember, our black gondola swayed softly in the same place,
• 2:24:19
  Speaker 2: while the water faintly gurgled under it. Here and there
• 2:24:22
  Speaker 2: the reflection of the stars and the lights on the
• 2:24:25
  Speaker 2: bank quivered and trembled. Not far from us, in a
• 2:24:28
  Speaker 2: gondola hung with colored lanterns, which were reflected in the water.
• 2:24:32
  Speaker 2: There were people singing. The sounds of guitars, of violins,
• 2:24:36
  Speaker 2: of mandolins, of men's and women's voices were audible in
• 2:24:40
  Speaker 2: the dark. Zenaida Fyodorovna, pale with a grave, almost stern face,
• 2:24:45
  Speaker 2: was sitting beside me, compressing her lips and clenching her hands.
• 2:24:49
  Speaker 2: She was thinking about something. She did not stir an eyelash,
• 2:24:53
  Speaker 2: nor hear me. Her face, her attitude and her fixed
• 2:24:57
  Speaker 2: expressionless gaze, and her incredibly miserable, dreadful and icy cold memories,
• 2:25:03
  Speaker 2: and around her the gondolas, the lights, the music, the
• 2:25:06
  Speaker 2: song with his vigorous, passionate cry of jammo jummo. What
• 2:25:11
  Speaker 2: contrasts in life? When she sat like that, with tightly
• 2:25:14
  Speaker 2: clasped hands, stony, mournful, I used to feel as though
• 2:25:18
  Speaker 2: we were both characters in some novel in the old
• 2:25:21
  Speaker 2: fashioned style called the ill fated the abandoned, or something
• 2:25:25
  Speaker 2: of the sort, both of us, she the ill fated
• 2:25:28
  Speaker 2: the abandoned, and I the faithful, devoted friend, the dreamer, and,
• 2:25:33
  Speaker 2: if you like it, a superfluous man, a failure, capable
• 2:25:37
  Speaker 2: of nothing but coughing and dreaming, and perhaps sacrificing myself.
• 2:25:41
  Speaker 2: But who and what needed my sacrifices now? And what
• 2:25:45
  Speaker 2: had I to sacrifice?
• 2:25:46
  Speaker 1: Indeed, when we came in in the evening, we always
• 2:25:49
  Speaker 1: drank tea in her room and talked. We did not
• 2:25:52
  Speaker 1: shrink from touching on old unhealed wounds. On the contrary,
• 2:25:56
  Speaker 1: for some reason, I felt a positive pleasure and telling
• 2:25:59
  Speaker 1: her about my life at orloff, or referring openly to
• 2:26:02
  Speaker 1: relations which I knew and which could not have been
• 2:26:05
  Speaker 1: concealed from me at moments. I hated you, I said
• 2:26:08
  Speaker 1: to her, when he was capricious, condescending, told you lies.
• 2:26:12
  Speaker 1: I marveled how it was you did not see, did
• 2:26:14
  Speaker 1: not understand when it was all so clear. You kissed
• 2:26:18
  Speaker 1: his hands, you knelt to him, You flattered him. When
• 2:26:21
  Speaker 1: I kissed his hands and knelt to him, I loved him,
• 2:26:24
  Speaker 1: she said, blushing, Crimson, can it have been so difficult
• 2:26:28
  Speaker 1: to see through him? A fine sphinx, A sphinx, indeed,
• 2:26:32
  Speaker 1: a calmer yunker. I reproach you for nothing, God forbid,
• 2:26:36
  Speaker 1: I went on, feeling I was coarse that I had
• 2:26:38
  Speaker 1: not the tact, the delicacy, which are so essential when
• 2:26:42
  Speaker 1: you have to do with a fellow creature's soul. In
• 2:26:44
  Speaker 1: early days before I knew her, I had not noticed
• 2:26:47
  Speaker 1: this defect in myself. But how could you fail to
• 2:26:50
  Speaker 1: see what he was? I went on, speaking, more softly
• 2:26:53
  Speaker 1: and more diffidently. However, you mean to say you despise
• 2:26:57
  Speaker 1: my past? And you are right, she said, deeply stirred.
• 2:27:00
  Speaker 1: You belong to a special class of men who cannot
• 2:27:02
  Speaker 1: be judged by ordinary standards. Your moral requirements are exceptionally rigorous,
• 2:27:08
  Speaker 1: and I understand you can't forgive things. I understand you,
• 2:27:12
  Speaker 1: And if sometimes I say the opposite, it doesn't mean
• 2:27:15
  Speaker 1: that I look at things differently from you. I speak
• 2:27:17
  Speaker 1: the same old nonsense simply because I haven't had time
• 2:27:20
  Speaker 1: yet to wear out my old clothes and prejudices. I
• 2:27:24
  Speaker 1: too hate and despise my past and orlof in my love.
• 2:27:29
  Speaker 1: What was that love. It's positively absurd now, she said,
• 2:27:32
  Speaker 1: going to the window and looking down at the canal.
• 2:27:35
  Speaker 1: All this love only clouds the conscience and confuses the mind.
• 2:27:39
  Speaker 1: The meaning of life is to be found only in
• 2:27:41
  Speaker 1: one thing, fighting to get one's heel in the vile
• 2:27:45
  Speaker 1: head of the serpent, and to crush it. That's the
• 2:27:47
  Speaker 1: meaning of life, in that alone, or in nothing. I
• 2:27:51
  Speaker 1: told her long stories of my past and described my
• 2:27:54
  Speaker 1: really astounding adventures, but of the change that had taken
• 2:27:58
  Speaker 1: place in me, I did not say one word. She
• 2:28:00
  Speaker 1: always listened to me with great attention, and at interesting
• 2:28:03
  Speaker 1: places she rubbed her hands, as though vexed that it
• 2:28:06
  Speaker 1: had not been her lot yet to experience such adventures,
• 2:28:10
  Speaker 1: such joys and terrors. Then she would suddenly fall to
• 2:28:13
  Speaker 1: musing and retreat into herself, and I could see from
• 2:28:17
  Speaker 1: her face that she was not attending to me. I
• 2:28:20
  Speaker 1: closed the windows that looked out on the canal and
• 2:28:22
  Speaker 1: asked whether we should not have the fire lighted. No,
• 2:28:25
  Speaker 1: never mind, I am not cold, she said, smiling listlessly.
• 2:28:29
  Speaker 1: I only feel weak, Do you know? I fancy I
• 2:28:32
  Speaker 1: have grown much wiser lately. I have extraordinary original ideas.
• 2:28:36
  Speaker 1: Now when I think of my past, of my life,
• 2:28:39
  Speaker 1: then people in general. In fact, it is all summed
• 2:28:42
  Speaker 1: up for me in the image of my stepmother, coarse, insolent, soulless, false, depraved,
• 2:28:49
  Speaker 1: and a morphia maniac too. My father, who was feeble
• 2:28:52
  Speaker 1: and weak willed, married my mother for her money and
• 2:28:55
  Speaker 1: drove her into consumption. But his second wife, my stepmother, passionately,
• 2:29:01
  Speaker 1: insanely what I had to put up with. But what
• 2:29:04
  Speaker 1: is the use of talking? And so, as I say,
• 2:29:06
  Speaker 1: it is all summed up in her image, and it
• 2:29:09
  Speaker 1: vexes me that my stepmother is dead. I should like
• 2:29:11
  Speaker 1: to meet her. Now why I don't know, She answered,
• 2:29:15
  Speaker 1: with a laugh and a graceful movement of her head.
• 2:29:18
  Speaker 1: Good night. You must get well. As soon as you
• 2:29:20
  Speaker 1: are well, we'll take up our work. It's time to begin.
• 2:29:24
  Speaker 1: After I had said good night and had my hand
• 2:29:26
  Speaker 1: on the door handle, she said, what do you think
• 2:29:29
  Speaker 1: is Polia still living there? Probably? And I went off
• 2:29:33
  Speaker 1: to my room. So we spent a whole month. One
• 2:29:37
  Speaker 1: gray morning when we both stood at my window looking
• 2:29:40
  Speaker 1: at the clouds which were moving up from the sea,
• 2:29:43
  Speaker 1: and at the darkening canal, expecting every minute that it
• 2:29:46
  Speaker 1: would pour with rain and when a thick, narrow streak
• 2:29:50
  Speaker 1: of rain covered the sea, as though with a muslin veil.
• 2:29:53
  Speaker 1: We both felt suddenly dreary. The same day we both
• 2:29:57
  Speaker 1: set off for Florence. End of chapter fifteen. Recording by
• 2:30:02
  Speaker 1: expatria in Bangor Main, Chapter sixteen of an anonymous story
• 2:30:14
  Speaker 1: by Anton Chekhov, translated by Constance Garnett eighteen sixty one
• 2:30:19
  Speaker 1: to nineteen forty six. This LibriVox recording is in the
• 2:30:22
  Speaker 1: public domain. Recording by Expatriate in Bangor Main, Chapter sixteen.
• 2:30:30
  Speaker 1: It was autumn at nice one morning. When I went
• 2:30:34
  Speaker 1: into her room. She was sitting on a low chair,
• 2:30:36
  Speaker 1: bent together and huddled up, with her legs crossed in
• 2:30:40
  Speaker 1: her face hidden in her hands. She was weeping bitterly
• 2:30:43
  Speaker 1: with sobs, and her long, unbrushed hair fell on her knees.
• 2:30:48
  Speaker 1: The impression of the exquisite, marvelous sea, which I had
• 2:30:51
  Speaker 1: only just seen, and of which I wanted to tell her,
• 2:30:54
  Speaker 1: left me all at once, and my heart ached. What
• 2:30:57
  Speaker 1: is it? I asked. She took one hand from her
• 2:31:00
  Speaker 1: and motioned me to go away. What is it? I repeated,
• 2:31:04
  Speaker 1: and for the first time during our acquaintance, I kissed
• 2:31:06
  Speaker 1: her hand. No it's nothing, nothing, she said quickly. Oh,
• 2:31:10
  Speaker 1: it's nothing, nothing, Go away, you see, I am not dressed.
• 2:31:15
  Speaker 1: I went out overwhelmed. The calm and serene mood in
• 2:31:18
  Speaker 1: which I had been for so long was poisoned by compassion.
• 2:31:22
  Speaker 1: I had a passionate longing to fall at her feet,
• 2:31:25
  Speaker 1: to entreat her, not to weep in solitude, but to
• 2:31:28
  Speaker 1: share her grief with me. And the monotonous murmur of
• 2:31:31
  Speaker 1: the sea already sounded a gloomy prophecy in my ears,
• 2:31:35
  Speaker 1: and I foresaw fresh tears, fresh troubles, and fresh losses
• 2:31:39
  Speaker 1: in the future. What is she crying about? What is it?
• 2:31:42
  Speaker 1: I wondered, recalling her face in her agonized look, I
• 2:31:46
  Speaker 1: remembered she was with child. She tried to conceal her
• 2:31:49
  Speaker 1: condition from other people and also from herself. At home,
• 2:31:54
  Speaker 1: she went about in a loose wrapper, or in a
• 2:31:56
  Speaker 1: blouse with extremely full folds over the bosom, and when
• 2:31:59
  Speaker 1: she went out anywhere, she laced herself in so tightly
• 2:32:02
  Speaker 1: that on two occasions she fainted. When we were out,
• 2:32:05
  Speaker 1: she never spoke to me of her condition, and when
• 2:32:08
  Speaker 1: I hinted that it might be as well to see
• 2:32:10
  Speaker 1: a doctor, she flushed. Crimson and said not a word.
• 2:32:14
  Speaker 1: When I went to see her next time, she was
• 2:32:15
  Speaker 1: already dressed and had her hair done. There there, I said,
• 2:32:19
  Speaker 1: seeing that she was ready to cry again, we had
• 2:32:21
  Speaker 1: better go to the sea and have a talk. I
• 2:32:24
  Speaker 1: can't talk, forgive me. I am in the mood now
• 2:32:27
  Speaker 1: when one wants to be alone. And if you please,
• 2:32:29
  Speaker 1: Vladimir Ivanitch, another time you want to come into my room,
• 2:32:33
  Speaker 1: be so good as to give a knock at the door.
• 2:32:36
  Speaker 1: That be so good had a peculiar, unfeminine sound. I
• 2:32:40
  Speaker 1: went away. My accursed Petersburg mood came back, and all
• 2:32:45
  Speaker 1: my dreams were crushed and crumpled up like leaves by
• 2:32:48
  Speaker 1: the heat. I felt I was alone again, and there
• 2:32:52
  Speaker 1: was no nearness between us. I was no more to
• 2:32:54
  Speaker 1: her than that cobweb to that palm tree which hangs
• 2:32:58
  Speaker 1: on it by chance, and which will be torn off
• 2:33:00
  Speaker 1: and carried away by the wind. I walked about the
• 2:33:03
  Speaker 1: square where the band was playing, went into the casino.
• 2:33:07
  Speaker 1: There I looked at over dressed and heavily perfumed women,
• 2:33:11
  Speaker 1: and every one of them glanced at me as though
• 2:33:13
  Speaker 1: she would say, you are alone, that's all right. Then
• 2:33:16
  Speaker 1: I went out on the terrace and looked for a
• 2:33:18
  Speaker 1: long time at the sea. There was not one sail
• 2:33:21
  Speaker 1: on the horizon. On the left bank, in the lilac
• 2:33:25
  Speaker 1: colored mist, there were mountains, gardens, towers, and houses. The
• 2:33:29
  Speaker 1: sun was sparkling over it all, but it was all alien,
• 2:33:33
  Speaker 1: indifferent and incomprehensible tangle. End of chapter sixteen. Recording by
• 2:33:41
  Speaker 1: expatriate in Bangor, Maine, Chapter seventeen of an anonymous story
• 2:33:52
  Speaker 1: by Anton Tchekhov, translated by Constance Garnett eighteen sixty one
• 2:33:56
  Speaker 1: to nineteen forty six. This Lebrvatrikor is in the public domain.
• 2:34:01
  Speaker 1: Recording by expatriate in Bangor, Maine, Chapter seventeen. She used,
• 2:34:08
  Speaker 1: as before to come into my room in the morning
• 2:34:10
  Speaker 1: to coffee, But we no longer dined together, As she
• 2:34:13
  Speaker 1: said she was not hungry, and she lived only on coffee, tea,
• 2:34:17
  Speaker 1: and various trifles such as oranges and caramels, and we
• 2:34:21
  Speaker 1: no longer had conversations in the evening. I don't know
• 2:34:24
  Speaker 1: why it was like this. Ever since the day when
• 2:34:27
  Speaker 1: I had found her in tears, she had treated me
• 2:34:29
  Speaker 1: somehow lightly, at times casually, even ironically, and for some
• 2:34:34
  Speaker 1: reason called me my good sir. What had before seemed
• 2:34:37
  Speaker 1: to her terrible, heroic, marvelous, and had stirred her envy
• 2:34:41
  Speaker 1: and enthusiasm did not touch her now at all. And
• 2:34:45
  Speaker 1: usually after listening to me, she stretched and said, yes,
• 2:34:48
  Speaker 1: great things were done in days of yore, my good sir.
• 2:34:52
  Speaker 1: It sometimes happened even that I did not see her
• 2:34:54
  Speaker 1: for days together. I would knock timidly and guiltily at
• 2:34:58
  Speaker 1: her door and get no answer. I would knock again,
• 2:35:01
  Speaker 1: still silence. I would stand near the door and listen.
• 2:35:05
  Speaker 1: Then the chambermaid would pass and say, coldly, Madame de partis.
• 2:35:10
  Speaker 1: Then I would walk about the passages of the hotel
• 2:35:12
  Speaker 1: walk and walk English people, full bosomed ladies, waiters in
• 2:35:17
  Speaker 1: swallow tales. And as I keep gazing at the long
• 2:35:20
  Speaker 1: striped rug that stretches the whole length of the corridor,
• 2:35:24
  Speaker 1: the idea occurs to me that I am playing in
• 2:35:26
  Speaker 1: the life of this woman, a strange, probably false part,
• 2:35:30
  Speaker 1: and that it is beyond my power to alter that part.
• 2:35:34
  Speaker 1: I run to my room and fall on my bed
• 2:35:36
  Speaker 1: and think and think, and can come to no conclusion.
• 2:35:39
  Speaker 1: And all that is clear to me is that I
• 2:35:41
  Speaker 1: want to live, and that the plainer and the colder
• 2:35:44
  Speaker 1: and the harder her face grows, the nearer she is
• 2:35:47
  Speaker 1: to me, and the more intensely and painfully I feel
• 2:35:51
  Speaker 1: our kinship. Never mind my good sir, never mind her light,
• 2:35:55
  Speaker 1: careless tone, never mind anything you like. Only don't leave
• 2:35:59
  Speaker 1: me my treasure. I am afraid to be alone. Then
• 2:36:02
  Speaker 1: I go out into the corridor again. Listen in a tremor.
• 2:36:05
  Speaker 1: I have no dinner. I don't notice the approach of evening.
• 2:36:09
  Speaker 1: At last, about eleven, I hear the familiar footstep, and
• 2:36:12
  Speaker 1: at the turn near the stairs, zennighta Fyodorovna comes into sight.
• 2:36:16
  Speaker 1: Are you taking a walk? She would ask, as she
• 2:36:19
  Speaker 1: passes me. You had better go out into the air.
• 2:36:21
  Speaker 1: Good night, But shall we not meet again to day?
• 2:36:25
  Speaker 1: I think it's late, But as you like, tell me,
• 2:36:28
  Speaker 1: where have you been? I would ask, following her into
• 2:36:30
  Speaker 1: the room, where to Monte Carlo. She took ten gold
• 2:36:34
  Speaker 1: coins out of her pocket and said, look, my good sir,
• 2:36:37
  Speaker 1: I have won. That's at roulette. Oh nonsense, as though
• 2:36:40
  Speaker 1: you would gamble. Why not? I am going again tomorrow.
• 2:36:45
  Speaker 1: I imagined her, with a sick and morbid face, in her condition,
• 2:36:49
  Speaker 1: tightly laced, standing near the gaming table in a crowd
• 2:36:52
  Speaker 1: of cocottes, of old women in their dotage, who swarm
• 2:36:56
  Speaker 1: round the gold like flies round the honey. I remembered
• 2:36:59
  Speaker 1: she had going off to Monte Carlo for some reason,
• 2:37:02
  Speaker 1: in secret from me. I don't believe you, I said,
• 2:37:04
  Speaker 1: one day. You wouldn't go there. Don't agitate yourself. I
• 2:37:08
  Speaker 1: can't lose much. It's not the question of what you lose,
• 2:37:12
  Speaker 1: I said, with annoyance, as it never occurred to you
• 2:37:15
  Speaker 1: while you were playing there, that the glitter of gold,
• 2:37:18
  Speaker 1: all these women, young and old, the croupiers, all the surroundings,
• 2:37:23
  Speaker 1: that it is all a vile loathsome mockery, at the
• 2:37:26
  Speaker 1: toiler's labor, at his bloody sweat. Oh, if one doesn't play,
• 2:37:30
  Speaker 1: what is one to do here? She asked, The toiler's
• 2:37:32
  Speaker 1: labor and his bloody sweat, all that eloquence you can
• 2:37:36
  Speaker 1: put off till another time. But now since you have begun,
• 2:37:39
  Speaker 1: let me go on. Let me ask you bluntly, what
• 2:37:41
  Speaker 1: is there for me to do here? And what am
• 2:37:43
  Speaker 1: I to do? What are you to do? I said,
• 2:37:46
  Speaker 1: shrugging my shoulders. That's a question that can't be answered
• 2:37:49
  Speaker 1: straight off. I beg you to answer me honestly, Vladimir Ivanitch,
• 2:37:53
  Speaker 1: she said, and her face looked angry. Once I have
• 2:37:56
  Speaker 1: brought myself to ask you this question. I am not
• 2:37:58
  Speaker 1: going to listen to stop phrases. I am asking you.
• 2:38:02
  Speaker 1: She went on, beating her hand on the table, as
• 2:38:04
  Speaker 1: though marking time. What ought I to do here? And
• 2:38:08
  Speaker 1: not only here at nice but in general? I did
• 2:38:12
  Speaker 1: not speak, but looked out of window to the sea.
• 2:38:14
  Speaker 1: My heart was beating terribly, Vladimir. Even if she said
• 2:38:18
  Speaker 1: softly and breathlessly, it was hard for her to speak.
• 2:38:22
  Speaker 1: Vladimir Ivanitch, if you do not believe in the cause yourself,
• 2:38:26
  Speaker 1: if you no longer think of going back to it,
• 2:38:28
  Speaker 1: why why did you drag me out of Petersburg? Why
• 2:38:31
  Speaker 1: did you make me promises? Why did you rouse mad hopes?
• 2:38:35
  Speaker 1: Your convictions have changed, you would become a different man,
• 2:38:38
  Speaker 1: and nobody blames you for it. Our convictions are not
• 2:38:41
  Speaker 1: always in our power. But Vladimir Ivanitch, for God's sake,
• 2:38:46
  Speaker 1: why are you not sincere? She went on softly, coming
• 2:38:48
  Speaker 1: up to me. All these months when I have been
• 2:38:51
  Speaker 1: dreaming aloud, raving, going into raptures over my plans, remodeling
• 2:38:56
  Speaker 1: my life on a new pattern. Why didn't you tell
• 2:38:59
  Speaker 1: me the truth? Why were you silent or encouraged me
• 2:39:02
  Speaker 1: by your stories and behaved as though you were in
• 2:39:04
  Speaker 1: complete sympathy with me? Why was it? Why was it necessary?
• 2:39:09
  Speaker 1: It's difficult to acknowledge one's bankruptcy, I said, turning round
• 2:39:13
  Speaker 1: but not looking at her. Yes, I have no faith,
• 2:39:16
  Speaker 1: I am worn out, I have lost heart. It is
• 2:39:19
  Speaker 1: difficult to be truthful, very difficult. And I held my tongue.
• 2:39:24
  Speaker 1: God forbid that any one should have to go through
• 2:39:26
  Speaker 1: what I have been through. I felt that I was
• 2:39:28
  Speaker 1: on the point of tears and ceased speaking. Vladimir Ivanitch,
• 2:39:33
  Speaker 1: she said, and took me by both hands. You have
• 2:39:35
  Speaker 1: been through so much and seen so much of life.
• 2:39:38
  Speaker 1: You know more than I do. Think seriously and tell
• 2:39:41
  Speaker 1: me what am I to do? Teach me. If you
• 2:39:44
  Speaker 1: haven't the strength to go forward yourself and take others
• 2:39:47
  Speaker 1: with you, at least show me where to go. After all,
• 2:39:50
  Speaker 1: I am a living, feeling, thinking being. To sink into
• 2:39:54
  Speaker 1: a false position, to play an absurd part is painful
• 2:39:58
  Speaker 1: to me. I don't reproach you, I don't blame you.
• 2:40:00
  Speaker 1: I only ask you. Tea was brought in well, said Zenaida,
• 2:40:05
  Speaker 1: Fyodorovna giving me a glass, What do you say to me?
• 2:40:10
  Speaker 1: There is more light in the world than you see
• 2:40:12
  Speaker 1: through your window, I answered, And there are other people
• 2:40:15
  Speaker 1: besides me, Zenaida Fyodorovna, then tell me who they are,
• 2:40:19
  Speaker 1: she said, eagerly. That's all I ask of you, and
• 2:40:22
  Speaker 1: I want to say too, I went on. One can
• 2:40:25
  Speaker 1: serve an idea in more than one calling. If one
• 2:40:28
  Speaker 1: has made a mistake and lost faith in one, one
• 2:40:31
  Speaker 1: may find another. The world of ideas is large and
• 2:40:34
  Speaker 1: cannot be exhausted. The world of ideas, she said, and
• 2:40:38
  Speaker 1: she looked into my face sarcastically. Then we had better
• 2:40:41
  Speaker 1: leave off talking. What's the use she flushed. The world
• 2:40:45
  Speaker 1: of ideas, she repeated. She threw her dinner napkin aside,
• 2:40:49
  Speaker 1: and an expression of indignation and contempt came into her face.
• 2:40:53
  Speaker 1: All your fine ideas, I see, lead up to one inevitable,
• 2:40:57
  Speaker 1: essential step. I ought to become your miss That's what's wanted.
• 2:41:02
  Speaker 1: To be taken up with ideas. Without being the mistress
• 2:41:04
  Speaker 1: of an honorable progressive man is as good as not
• 2:41:08
  Speaker 1: understanding the ideas. One has to begin with that, that is,
• 2:41:12
  Speaker 1: with being your mistress, and the rest will come of itself.
• 2:41:15
  Speaker 1: You are irritated, Zenaida Fyodorovna, I said, no, I am sincere,
• 2:41:20
  Speaker 1: she cried, breathing hard. I am sincere. You are sincere, perhaps,
• 2:41:25
  Speaker 1: but you are in error, and it hurts me to
• 2:41:27
  Speaker 1: hear you. I am in error, she laughed. Anyone else
• 2:41:31
  Speaker 1: might say that, but not you, my dear sir. I
• 2:41:34
  Speaker 1: may seem to you indelicate, cruel but I don't care.
• 2:41:37
  Speaker 1: You love me. You love me, don't you. I shrugged
• 2:41:41
  Speaker 1: my shoulders. Yes, shrug your shoulders, she went on, sarcastically.
• 2:41:45
  Speaker 1: When you were ill, I heard you in your delirium,
• 2:41:47
  Speaker 1: and ever since, these adoring eyes, these sighs, and edifying
• 2:41:51
  Speaker 1: conversations about friendship, about spiritual kinship. But the point is,
• 2:41:56
  Speaker 1: why haven't you been sincere? Why have you concealed what
• 2:41:59
  Speaker 1: is and talked about what isn't had you said from
• 2:42:02
  Speaker 1: the beginning, what idea has exactly led you to drag
• 2:42:05
  Speaker 1: me from Petersburg? I should have known. I should have
• 2:42:08
  Speaker 1: poisoned myself then as I meant to, and there would
• 2:42:11
  Speaker 1: have been none of this tedious farce. But what's the
• 2:42:14
  Speaker 1: use of talking. With a wave of the hand, she
• 2:42:16
  Speaker 1: sat down, you speak to me as though you suspected
• 2:42:19
  Speaker 1: me of dishonorable intentions, I said, offended, Oh very well,
• 2:42:24
  Speaker 1: what's the use of talking. I don't suspect you of intentions,
• 2:42:28
  Speaker 1: but of having no intentions. If you had any, I
• 2:42:31
  Speaker 1: should have known them by now. You had nothing but
• 2:42:34
  Speaker 1: ideas and love for the present, ideas and love, and
• 2:42:37
  Speaker 1: in prospect me as your mistress. That's in the order
• 2:42:41
  Speaker 1: of things, both in life and in novels. Here you
• 2:42:44
  Speaker 1: abused him, she said, and she slapped the table with
• 2:42:47
  Speaker 1: her hand. But one can't help agreeing with him. He
• 2:42:50
  Speaker 1: has good reasons for despising these ideas. He does not
• 2:42:54
  Speaker 1: despise ideas, he is afraid of them, I cried. He
• 2:42:56
  Speaker 1: is a coward and a liar. Oh very well, he
• 2:43:00
  Speaker 1: is a coward and a liar and deceived me. And you,
• 2:43:03
  Speaker 1: excuse my frankness, what are you. He deceived me and
• 2:43:07
  Speaker 1: left me to take my chance in Petersburg, and you
• 2:43:09
  Speaker 1: have deceived me and abandoned me here. But he did
• 2:43:12
  Speaker 1: not mix up ideas with his deceit. And you, for
• 2:43:16
  Speaker 1: goodness sake, why are you saying this? I cried, in horror,
• 2:43:19
  Speaker 1: wringing my hands and going up to her quickly no
• 2:43:23
  Speaker 1: Zenaida Fyodorovna. This is cynicism. You must not be so despairing.
• 2:43:27
  Speaker 1: Listen to me, I went on, catching at a thought
• 2:43:30
  Speaker 1: which flashed dimly upon me, and which seemed to me
• 2:43:33
  Speaker 1: might still save us both. Listen. I have passed through
• 2:43:35
  Speaker 1: so many experiences in my time that my head goes
• 2:43:38
  Speaker 1: round at the thought of them. And I have realized
• 2:43:41
  Speaker 1: with my mind, with my racked soul, the man finds
• 2:43:44
  Speaker 1: his true destiny, and nothing if not in self sacrificing
• 2:43:47
  Speaker 1: love for his neighbor. It is towards that we must strive,
• 2:43:50
  Speaker 1: and that is our destination. That is my faith. I
• 2:43:54
  Speaker 1: wanted to go on to speak of mercy, of forgiveness,
• 2:43:57
  Speaker 1: but there was an insincere note in my voice, and
• 2:43:59
  Speaker 1: I was embarrassed. I want to live, I said, genuinely,
• 2:44:03
  Speaker 1: to live, to live, I want peace, tranquility, I want warmth,
• 2:44:08
  Speaker 1: this sea here, to have you near. Oh, how I
• 2:44:11
  Speaker 1: wish I could rouse in you the same thirst for life.
• 2:44:14
  Speaker 1: You spoke just now of love. But it would be
• 2:44:16
  Speaker 1: enough for me to have you near, to hear your voice,
• 2:44:19
  Speaker 1: to watch the look in your face. She flushed, Crimson,
• 2:44:23
  Speaker 1: and to hinder my speaking, said quickly, you love life
• 2:44:26
  Speaker 1: and I hate it, so our ways lie apart. She
• 2:44:29
  Speaker 1: poured herself out some tea, but did not touch it,
• 2:44:32
  Speaker 1: went into the bedroom and lay down. I imagine it
• 2:44:35
  Speaker 1: is better to cut short this conversation, she said to
• 2:44:38
  Speaker 1: me from within. Everything is over for me and I
• 2:44:41
  Speaker 1: want nothing. What more is there to say? No, it's
• 2:44:44
  Speaker 1: not all over. Oh very well, I know I am
• 2:44:48
  Speaker 1: sick of it. That's enough. I got up, took a
• 2:44:51
  Speaker 1: turn from one end of the room to the other,
• 2:44:53
  Speaker 1: and went out into the corridor. When late at night
• 2:44:56
  Speaker 1: I went to her door and listened, I distinctly heard
• 2:44:59
  Speaker 1: her crying. Next morning, the waiter handing me my clothes
• 2:45:03
  Speaker 1: informed me with a smile that the lady in number
• 2:45:06
  Speaker 1: thirteen was confined. I dressed somehow, and almost fainting with terror,
• 2:45:11
  Speaker 1: ran to Zenaida Fyodorovna. In her room, I found a doctor,
• 2:45:15
  Speaker 1: a midwife, and an elderly Russian lady from Harkov called
• 2:45:19
  Speaker 1: Darya Mihailovna. There was a smell of ether. I had
• 2:45:23
  Speaker 1: scarcely crossed the threshold when from the room where she
• 2:45:26
  Speaker 1: was lying, I heard a low, plaintive moan, and as
• 2:45:30
  Speaker 1: though it had been wafted me by the wind from Russia.
• 2:45:33
  Speaker 1: I thought of Orlov, his irony, Polia, the Nava, the
• 2:45:37
  Speaker 1: drifting snow, then the cab without an apron, the prediction
• 2:45:41
  Speaker 1: I had read in the cold morning sky, and the
• 2:45:43
  Speaker 1: despairing cry Nina. Nina, go in to her, said the lady.
• 2:45:49
  Speaker 1: I went in to see Zenaida Fyodorovna, feeling as though
• 2:45:52
  Speaker 1: I were the father of the child. She was lying
• 2:45:55
  Speaker 1: with her eyes closed, looking thin and pale, wearing a
• 2:45:58
  Speaker 1: white cap edged with lace. I remember there were two
• 2:46:01
  Speaker 1: expressions on her face, one cold, indifferent, apathetic, the other
• 2:46:06
  Speaker 1: a look of childish helplessness given her by the white cap.
• 2:46:10
  Speaker 1: She did not hear me come in, or heard perhaps,
• 2:46:12
  Speaker 1: but did not pay attention. I stood, looked at her
• 2:46:16
  Speaker 1: and waited, but her face was contorted with pain. She
• 2:46:20
  Speaker 1: opened her eyes and gazed at the ceiling, as though
• 2:46:23
  Speaker 1: wondering what was happening to her. There was a look
• 2:46:25
  Speaker 1: of loathing on her face. It's horrible, she whispered, the
• 2:46:30
  Speaker 1: night of Fyodorovna. I spoke her name softly. She looked
• 2:46:34
  Speaker 1: at me indifferently, listly, and closed her eyes. I stood
• 2:46:38
  Speaker 1: there a little while, then went away at night. Darya
• 2:46:42
  Speaker 1: Mihailovna informed me that the child, a girl, was born,
• 2:46:45
  Speaker 1: but that the mother was in a dangerous condition. Then
• 2:46:48
  Speaker 1: I heard noise and bustle in the passage. Darya Mihailovna
• 2:46:55
  Speaker 1: came to me again, and with a face of despair,
• 2:46:58
  Speaker 1: wringing her hands, said, Oh, this is awful. The doctor
• 2:47:02
  Speaker 1: suspects that she has taken poison. Oh, how badly Russians
• 2:47:05
  Speaker 1: do behave here? And at twelve o'clock the next day,
• 2:47:09
  Speaker 1: Zenaida Fyodorovna died end of chapter seventeen. Recording by expatriot
• 2:47:17
  Speaker 1: in Bangor, Maine. Chapter eighteen of an anonymous story by
• 2:47:28
  Speaker 1: Anton Tchekhov, translated by Constance Garnett eighteen sixty one to
• 2:47:32
  Speaker 1: nineteen forty six. This librivax recording is in the public domain.
• 2:47:37
  Speaker 1: Recording by expatriot in Bangor, Maine, Chapter eighteen. Two years
• 2:47:44
  Speaker 1: had passed, circumstances had changed. I had come to Petersburg
• 2:47:48
  Speaker 1: again and could live here openly. I was no longer
• 2:47:52
  Speaker 1: afraid of being and seeming sentimental, and gave myself up
• 2:47:56
  Speaker 1: entirely to the fatherly or rather idolatrous feeling in me.
• 2:48:00
  Speaker 1: By Sonya Zenaida Fyodorovna's child. I fed her with my
• 2:48:05
  Speaker 1: own hands, gave her her bath, put her to bed,
• 2:48:08
  Speaker 1: never took my eyes off her for nights together, and
• 2:48:11
  Speaker 1: screamed when it seemed to me that the nurse was
• 2:48:13
  Speaker 1: just going to drop her. My thirst for normal, ordinary
• 2:48:16
  Speaker 1: life became stronger and more acute as time went on,
• 2:48:20
  Speaker 1: but wider visions stopped short at Sonya, as though I
• 2:48:23
  Speaker 1: had found in her at last just what I needed.
• 2:48:27
  Speaker 1: I loved the child madly. In her, I saw the
• 2:48:29
  Speaker 1: continuation of my life, and it was not exactly that
• 2:48:33
  Speaker 1: I fancied, but I felt, I almost believed that when
• 2:48:36
  Speaker 1: I had cast off at last my long, bony, bearded frame,
• 2:48:40
  Speaker 1: I should go on living in those little blue eyes,
• 2:48:43
  Speaker 1: that silky flaxen hair, those dimpled pink hands which stroked
• 2:48:47
  Speaker 1: my face so lovingly and were clasped round my neck.
• 2:48:51
  Speaker 1: Sonya's future made me anxious. Orlov was her father. In
• 2:48:56
  Speaker 1: her birth certificate, she was called Krasnovsky, and the only
• 2:48:59
  Speaker 1: person who knew of her existence and took interest in her,
• 2:49:03
  Speaker 1: that is, I was at death's door. I had to
• 2:49:06
  Speaker 1: think about her seriously. The day after I arrived in Petersburg,
• 2:49:10
  Speaker 1: I went to see orlof. The door was opened to
• 2:49:13
  Speaker 1: me by a stout old fellow with red whiskers and
• 2:49:16
  Speaker 1: no mustache, who looked like a German Polia, who was
• 2:49:20
  Speaker 1: tidying the drawing room. Did not recognize me, but orlov
• 2:49:23
  Speaker 1: knew me at once. Ah, mister revolutionist, he said, looking
• 2:49:27
  Speaker 1: at me with curiosity and laughing, what fate has brought you?
• 2:49:32
  Speaker 1: He was not changed in the least, the same well groomed,
• 2:49:35
  Speaker 1: unpleasant face, the same irony, and a new book was
• 2:49:39
  Speaker 1: lying on the table, just as of old, with an
• 2:49:42
  Speaker 1: ivory paper knife thrust in it. He had evidently been
• 2:49:46
  Speaker 1: reading before I came in. He made me sit down,
• 2:49:49
  Speaker 1: offered me a cigar, and, with a delicacy only found
• 2:49:52
  Speaker 1: in well bred people, concealing the unpleasant feeling aroused by
• 2:49:56
  Speaker 1: my face and my wasted figure, observed casually that I
• 2:50:00
  Speaker 1: I was not in the least changed, and that he
• 2:50:02
  Speaker 1: would have known me anywhere, in spite of my having
• 2:50:04
  Speaker 1: grown a beard. We talked of the weather of Paris,
• 2:50:08
  Speaker 1: to dispose as quickly as possible of the oppressive, inevitable
• 2:50:11
  Speaker 1: question which weighed upon him and me. He asked, Zenaida
• 2:50:16
  Speaker 1: Fyodorovna is dead? Yes, I answered in childbirth. Yes, in childbirth.
• 2:50:22
  Speaker 1: The doctor suspected another cause of death. But it is
• 2:50:25
  Speaker 1: more comforting for you and for me to think that
• 2:50:28
  Speaker 1: she died in childbirth. He sighed decorously and was silent.
• 2:50:33
  Speaker 1: The Angel of silence passed over us, as they say, yes,
• 2:50:37
  Speaker 1: and here everything is as it used to be. No changes,
• 2:50:40
  Speaker 1: he said, briskly, seeing that I was looking about the room.
• 2:50:43
  Speaker 1: My father, as you know, has left the service and
• 2:50:46
  Speaker 1: is living in retirement. I am still in the same department.
• 2:50:50
  Speaker 1: Do you remember Pekarski. He is just the same as ever.
• 2:50:53
  Speaker 1: Gruzin died of biphtheria a year ago. Kukushkin is alive
• 2:50:57
  Speaker 1: and often speaks of you, by the way, so Orlov,
• 2:51:00
  Speaker 1: dropping his eyes with an air of reserve. When Kukushkin
• 2:51:03
  Speaker 1: heard who you were, he began telling every one you
• 2:51:06
  Speaker 1: had attacked him and tried to murder him, and that
• 2:51:09
  Speaker 1: he only just escaped with his life. I did not speak.
• 2:51:13
  Speaker 1: Old servants do not forget their masters. It's very nice
• 2:51:16
  Speaker 1: of you, said Orlov jocosely. Will you have some wine
• 2:51:20
  Speaker 1: and some coffee, though I will tell them to make
• 2:51:22
  Speaker 1: some No, thank you. I have come to see you
• 2:51:25
  Speaker 1: about a very important matter. Georgy Ivanitch. I am not
• 2:51:29
  Speaker 1: fond of important matters, but I shall be glad to
• 2:51:31
  Speaker 1: be of service to you. What do you want? You see?
• 2:51:35
  Speaker 1: I began growing agitated. I have here with me Zenaida
• 2:51:39
  Speaker 1: Fyodorovna's daughter. Hitherto I have brought her up. But as
• 2:51:43
  Speaker 1: you see, before many days I shall be an empty sound.
• 2:51:46
  Speaker 1: I should like to die with the thought that she
• 2:51:48
  Speaker 1: has provided for Orlov colored a little, frowned a little,
• 2:51:52
  Speaker 1: and took a cursory and sullen glance at me. He
• 2:51:55
  Speaker 1: was unpleasantly affected, not so much by the important matter
• 2:51:58
  Speaker 1: as by my words of death. About becoming an empty sound, Yes,
• 2:52:03
  Speaker 1: it must be thought about, he said, screening his eyes
• 2:52:06
  Speaker 1: as though from the sun. Thank you. You say it's
• 2:52:09
  Speaker 1: a girl, Yes, a girl, a wonderful child. Oh, yes,
• 2:52:13
  Speaker 1: of course it's not a lap dog, but a human being.
• 2:52:16
  Speaker 1: I understand. We must consider it seriously. I am prepared
• 2:52:19
  Speaker 1: to do my part and am very grateful to you.
• 2:52:22
  Speaker 1: He got up, walked about, biting his nails, and stopped
• 2:52:25
  Speaker 1: before a picture. We must think about it, he said,
• 2:52:28
  Speaker 1: in a hollow voice, standing with his back to me.
• 2:52:31
  Speaker 1: I shall go to Pekarsky's to day and will ask
• 2:52:33
  Speaker 1: him to go to Krasnovsky's. I don't think he will
• 2:52:36
  Speaker 1: make much ado about consenting to take the child. But
• 2:52:40
  Speaker 1: excuse me, I don't see what Krasnovsky has got to
• 2:52:42
  Speaker 1: do with it, I said, also getting up and walking
• 2:52:45
  Speaker 1: to a picture at the other end of the room.
• 2:52:48
  Speaker 1: But she bears his name, of course, said Orlov. Yes,
• 2:52:51
  Speaker 1: he may be legally obliged to accept the child. I
• 2:52:54
  Speaker 1: don't know, but I came to you, Georgy Ivanitch, not
• 2:52:57
  Speaker 1: to discuss the legal aspect. Yes, yes, you are right,
• 2:53:01
  Speaker 1: he agreed briskly. I believe I am talking nonsense, but
• 2:53:05
  Speaker 1: don't excite yourself. We will decide the matter to our
• 2:53:07
  Speaker 1: mutual satisfaction. If one thing won't do, we'll try another,
• 2:53:12
  Speaker 1: and if that won't do, we'll try a third. One
• 2:53:14
  Speaker 1: way or another, this delicate question shall be settled. Pekarski
• 2:53:18
  Speaker 1: will arrange at all, be so good as to leave
• 2:53:21
  Speaker 1: me your address, and I will let you know at
• 2:53:22
  Speaker 1: once what we decide. Where are you living? Orlov wrote
• 2:53:26
  Speaker 1: down my address, a sighed and said, with a smile,
• 2:53:29
  Speaker 1: Oh lord, what a job it is to be the
• 2:53:31
  Speaker 1: father of a little daughter. But Pekarski will arrange at all.
• 2:53:35
  Speaker 1: He is a sensible man. Did you stay long in Paris?
• 2:53:39
  Speaker 1: Two months? We were silent? Orlov was evidently afraid I
• 2:53:43
  Speaker 1: should begin talking of the child again, and to turn
• 2:53:46
  Speaker 1: my attention in another direction, said, you have probably forgotten
• 2:53:49
  Speaker 1: your letter by now, but I have kept it. I
• 2:53:52
  Speaker 1: understand your mood at the time, and I must own
• 2:53:55
  Speaker 1: I respect that letter. Damnable, cold blood agyatic corps laugh.
• 2:54:01
  Speaker 1: That was charming and characteristic, he went on with an
• 2:54:03
  Speaker 1: ironical smile. And the fundamental thought is perhaps near the truth,
• 2:54:07
  Speaker 1: though one might dispute the question endlessly. That is he hesitated.
• 2:54:12
  Speaker 1: Not dispute the thought itself, but your attitude to the question,
• 2:54:16
  Speaker 1: your temperament. So to say, yes, my life is abnormal, corrupted,
• 2:54:20
  Speaker 1: of no use to any one, and what prevents me
• 2:54:23
  Speaker 1: from beginning a new life is cowardice. There, you are
• 2:54:26
  Speaker 1: quite right, But that you take it so much to heart,
• 2:54:29
  Speaker 1: are troubled and reduced to despair by it, that's irrational. There,
• 2:54:34
  Speaker 1: you are quite wrong. A living man cannot help being
• 2:54:37
  Speaker 1: troubled and reduced to despair when he sees that he
• 2:54:40
  Speaker 1: himself is going to ruin and others are going to ruin.
• 2:54:44
  Speaker 1: Round him who doubts it. I am not advocating indifference.
• 2:54:48
  Speaker 1: All I ask for is an objective attitude to life.
• 2:54:52
  Speaker 1: The more objective, the less danger of falling into error.
• 2:54:55
  Speaker 1: One must look into the root of things and try
• 2:54:58
  Speaker 1: to see in every phenomenon a cause of all the
• 2:55:00
  Speaker 1: other causes. We have grown feeble, slack, degraded. In fact,
• 2:55:05
  Speaker 1: our generation is entirely composed of neurasthenics and whimperers. We
• 2:55:10
  Speaker 1: do nothing but talk of fatigue and exhaustion. But the
• 2:55:14
  Speaker 1: fault is neither yours nor mine. We are of too
• 2:55:16
  Speaker 1: little consequence to affect the destiny of a whole generation.
• 2:55:21
  Speaker 1: We must suppose for that larger, more general causes, with
• 2:55:24
  Speaker 1: a solid raison d'etra. From the biological point of view,
• 2:55:28
  Speaker 1: we are neurosthenics, flabby renegades. But perhaps it's necessary end
• 2:55:33
  Speaker 1: of service for generations that will come after us. Not
• 2:55:36
  Speaker 1: one hair falls from the head without the will of
• 2:55:39
  Speaker 1: the heavenly father. In other words, nothing happens by chance
• 2:55:42
  Speaker 1: in nature and in human environment. Everything has its cause
• 2:55:46
  Speaker 1: and is inevitable. And if so, why should we worry
• 2:55:49
  Speaker 1: and write despairing letters. It's all very well, I said,
• 2:55:53
  Speaker 1: thinking a little. I believe it will be easier and
• 2:55:56
  Speaker 1: clearer for the generations to come. Our experience will be
• 2:56:00
  Speaker 1: their service. But one wants to live apart from future generations,
• 2:56:04
  Speaker 1: and not only for their sake. Life has only given
• 2:56:07
  Speaker 1: us once, and one wants to live it boldly, with
• 2:56:10
  Speaker 1: full consciousness and beauty. One wants to play a striking, independent,
• 2:56:14
  Speaker 1: noble part. One wants to make history so that those
• 2:56:17
  Speaker 1: generations may not have the right to say of each
• 2:56:20
  Speaker 1: of us that we were non entities or worse. I
• 2:56:23
  Speaker 1: believe what is going on about us is inevitable and
• 2:56:26
  Speaker 1: not without a purpose. But what have I to do
• 2:56:28
  Speaker 1: with that inevitability? Why should my ego be lost? Well,
• 2:56:33
  Speaker 1: there's no help for it, sighed orlov getting up, and
• 2:56:36
  Speaker 1: as it were giving me to understand that our conversation
• 2:56:39
  Speaker 1: was over, I took my hat. We've only been sitting
• 2:56:43
  Speaker 1: here half an hour, and how many questions we have settled?
• 2:56:46
  Speaker 1: When you come to think of us at orlof seeing
• 2:56:48
  Speaker 1: me into the hall? So I will see to that matter.
• 2:56:51
  Speaker 1: I will see Pekarski today. Don't be uneasy. He stood
• 2:56:55
  Speaker 1: waiting while I put on my coat, and was obviously
• 2:56:58
  Speaker 1: relieved at the feeling that I was going away. Gyorgy Ivanitch,
• 2:57:02
  Speaker 1: give me back my letter, I said, certainly. He went
• 2:57:05
  Speaker 1: to his study, and a minute later returned with the letter.
• 2:57:09
  Speaker 1: I thanked him and went away. The next day I
• 2:57:11
  Speaker 1: got a letter from him. He congratulated me on the
• 2:57:14
  Speaker 1: satisfactory settlement of the question. Pekarski knew a lady who wrote,
• 2:57:19
  Speaker 1: who kept the school something like a kindergarten, where she
• 2:57:22
  Speaker 1: took quite little children. The lady could be entirely depended upon.
• 2:57:26
  Speaker 1: But before concluding anything with her, it would be as
• 2:57:29
  Speaker 1: well to discuss the matter with Krasnovsky. It was a
• 2:57:32
  Speaker 1: matter of form. He advised me to see Pekarski at once,
• 2:57:35
  Speaker 1: and to take the birth certificate with me if I
• 2:57:37
  Speaker 1: had it. Rest assured of the sincere respect and devotion
• 2:57:41
  Speaker 1: of your humble servant. I read this letter, and Sonya
• 2:57:45
  Speaker 1: sat on the table and gazed at me attentively, without blinking,
• 2:57:48
  Speaker 1: as though she knew her fate was being decided. End
• 2:57:53
  Speaker 1: of chapter eighteen, recording by expatriate in Bangor, Maine. End
• 2:57:59
  Speaker 1: of an anonymous story by Anton Chekhov, translated by Constance
• 2:58:03
  Speaker 1: Garnett eighteen sixty one to nineteen forty six