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4. Learning to Trust Yourself · Burning Brightly

• 0:30
  Welcome
• 0:30
  back
• 0:30
  my
• 0:30
  friends.
• 0:31
  This
• 0:31
  is
• 0:31
  episode
• 0:32
  four
• 0:32
  of
• 0:32
  burning
• 0:33
  brightly.
• 0:34
  And
• 0:34
  today
• 0:34
  I
• 0:34
  want
• 0:34
  to
• 0:34
  introduce
• 0:35
  you
• 0:35
  to
• 0:36
  the
• 0:36
  idea.
• 0:37
  Of
• 0:38
  learning
• 0:38
  to
• 0:38
  trust
• 0:39
  yourself
• 0:39
  as
• 0:40
  you
• 0:40
  would
• 0:40
  trust.
• 0:41
  Someone
• 0:41
  else
• 0:42
  that
• 0:42
  you
• 0:42
  respect
• 0:42
  and
• 0:43
  admire.
• 0:43
  It's
• 0:43
  kind
• 0:44
  of
• 0:44
  a
• 0:44
  unique
• 0:44
  thought,
• 0:44
  right?
• 0:45
  Now
• 0:46
  in
• 0:46
  life
• 0:46
  coaching,
• 0:47
  we
• 0:47
  use
• 0:47
  this
• 0:47
  perspective.
• 0:49
  Of
• 0:49
  being
• 0:49
  a
• 0:49
  neutral
• 0:50
  third
• 0:50
  party
• 0:51
  quite
• 0:51
  often.
• 0:52
  We
• 0:52
  use
• 0:52
  it
• 0:52
  to
• 0:52
  examine
• 0:53
  our
• 0:53
  thoughts,
• 0:54
  to
• 0:54
  examine
• 0:55
  our
• 0:55
  motivations.
• 0:56
  And
• 0:56
  to
• 0:56
  figure
• 0:57
  out
• 0:57
  why
• 0:58
  and
• 0:58
  how
• 0:58
  we're
• 0:58
  creating
• 0:59
  the
• 0:59
  life
• 0:59
  that
• 1:00
  we
• 1:00
  currently
• 1:00
  have.
• 1:01
  So
• 1:01
  this
• 1:01
  concept
• 1:02
  of
• 1:02
  trusting
• 1:02
  yourself
• 1:03
  will
• 1:03
  also
• 1:03
  require
• 1:04
  a
• 1:04
  similar
• 1:05
  perspective,
• 1:05
  right?
• 1:06
  It
• 1:06
  will
• 1:06
  require
• 1:06
  you
• 1:06
  to
• 1:07
  step
• 1:07
  outside
• 1:07
  of
• 1:07
  yourself
• 1:08
  and
• 1:09
  kind
• 1:09
  of
• 1:09
  view
• 1:09
  yourself.
• 1:11
  As
• 1:11
  another
• 1:11
  person
• 1:12
  would.
• 1:13
  So
• 1:13
  here
• 1:13
  is
• 1:13
  my
• 1:13
  question.
• 1:15
  Do
• 1:15
  you
• 1:15
  trust
• 1:16
  you?
• 1:18
  When
• 1:18
  you
• 1:18
  make
• 1:18
  a
• 1:19
  promise
• 1:19
  to
• 1:19
  yourself,
• 1:19
  do
• 1:20
  you
• 1:20
  follow
• 1:20
  through
• 1:20
  with
• 1:20
  it?
• 1:21
  When
• 1:22
  your
• 1:22
  needs
• 1:23
  and
• 1:23
  wants
• 1:23
  are
• 1:23
  not
• 1:24
  being
• 1:24
  met,
• 1:25
  do
• 1:25
  you
• 1:25
  allow
• 1:26
  that.
• 1:27
  Do
• 1:27
  they
• 1:27
  regularly
• 1:27
  get
• 1:28
  steamrolled
• 1:28
  or
• 1:28
  do
• 1:28
  you
• 1:28
  stand
• 1:29
  up
• 1:29
  for
• 1:29
  them?
• 1:30
  Do
• 1:30
  you
• 1:30
  honor
• 1:31
  your
• 1:31
  own
• 1:31
  values
• 1:32
  and
• 1:32
  standards,
• 1:33
  and
• 1:33
  what's
• 1:33
  important
• 1:34
  to
• 1:34
  you.
• 1:35
  Very
• 1:36
  interesting
• 1:36
  concept.
• 1:37
  Okay.
• 1:37
  So
• 1:37
  let
• 1:37
  me
• 1:37
  share
• 1:37
  a
• 1:37
  story
• 1:38
  with
• 1:38
  you.
• 1:39
  When
• 1:39
  I
• 1:39
  was
• 1:39
  in
• 1:39
  college.
• 1:40
  I
• 1:40
  felt
• 1:41
  like
• 1:41
  I
• 1:41
  struggled
• 1:41
  a
• 1:41
  lot
• 1:42
  with
• 1:42
  self-discipline.
• 1:43
  At
• 1:43
  least
• 1:43
  that's
• 1:44
  how
• 1:44
  I
• 1:44
  labeled
• 1:44
  it
• 1:44
  in
• 1:44
  my
• 1:44
  mind.
• 1:45
  I
• 1:45
  would
• 1:45
  make
• 1:46
  goals.
• 1:46
  I
• 1:46
  would
• 1:46
  make
• 1:47
  plans
• 1:47
  and
• 1:48
  I
• 1:48
  would
• 1:48
  very
• 1:49
  rarely
• 1:50
  follow
• 1:50
  through
• 1:50
  with
• 1:51
  them.
• 1:51
  And
• 1:51
  so
• 1:51
  I
• 1:51
  remember
• 1:52
  regularly
• 1:53
  praying
• 1:53
  for
• 1:54
  more
• 1:54
  self-discipline
• 1:55
  I
• 1:55
  thought
• 1:55
  if
• 1:55
  I
• 1:55
  could
• 1:55
  just.
• 1:56
  I
• 1:57
  get
• 1:57
  a
• 1:57
  handle
• 1:57
  on
• 1:58
  myself,
• 1:59
  life
• 2:00
  would
• 2:00
  be
• 2:00
  so
• 2:00
  much
• 2:00
  easier.
• 2:01
  So
• 2:01
  a
• 2:01
  few
• 2:01
  things
• 2:01
  that
• 2:02
  I
• 2:02
  struggled
• 2:02
  with
• 2:02
  were
• 2:03
  eating
• 2:03
  better.
• 2:04
  Exercising.
• 2:05
  You
• 2:05
  know,
• 2:05
  you're
• 2:05
  in
• 2:05
  college,
• 2:06
  not
• 2:06
  a
• 2:07
  lot
• 2:07
  of
• 2:07
  time.
• 2:08
  So
• 2:08
  I
• 2:08
  wanted
• 2:09
  those
• 2:09
  two
• 2:09
  things
• 2:09
  to
• 2:09
  just
• 2:10
  kind
• 2:10
  of
• 2:10
  magically
• 2:10
  appear
• 2:10
  into
• 2:11
  my
• 2:11
  life.
• 2:11
  I
• 2:12
  wanted
• 2:12
  to
• 2:12
  eliminate
• 2:13
  more
• 2:13
  entertainment
• 2:14
  and
• 2:14
  social
• 2:14
  gatherings
• 2:15
  and
• 2:15
  spend
• 2:15
  more
• 2:15
  time
• 2:16
  on
• 2:16
  my
• 2:16
  school
• 2:16
  work,
• 2:17
  I
• 2:17
  wanted
• 2:17
  to
• 2:18
  spend
• 2:18
  more
• 2:18
  time
• 2:18
  in
• 2:18
  the
• 2:18
  scriptures,
• 2:19
  all
• 2:20
  these
• 2:20
  great
• 2:20
  goals
• 2:20
  that
• 2:21
  I
• 2:21
  had
• 2:21
  for
• 2:21
  myself.
• 2:22
  I
• 2:22
  couldn't
• 2:22
  seem
• 2:23
  to
• 2:23
  gain
• 2:23
  traction.
• 2:25
  I
• 2:25
  honestly,
• 2:25
  hadn't
• 2:26
  now
• 2:26
  I
• 2:26
  realize
• 2:26
  I
• 2:27
  hadn't
• 2:27
  yet
• 2:28
  learned
• 2:28
  how
• 2:28
  to
• 2:29
  trust
• 2:29
  myself.
• 2:30
  And
• 2:30
  so
• 2:30
  frankly,
• 2:30
  I
• 2:31
  gave
• 2:31
  up
• 2:31
  on
• 2:31
  myself
• 2:32
  a
• 2:32
  lot.
• 2:33
  And
• 2:34
  I'm
• 2:34
  realizing
• 2:34
  now
• 2:35
  that
• 2:35
  part
• 2:36
  of
• 2:36
  this
• 2:36
  was
• 2:36
  because
• 2:36
  I
• 2:36
  hadn't
• 2:37
  yet
• 2:37
  fully
• 2:38
  realized
• 2:38
  my
• 2:38
  worth.
• 2:39
  And
• 2:39
  I
• 2:40
  hadn't
• 2:40
  fully
• 2:41
  understood
• 2:41
  that
• 2:41
  I
• 2:42
  was
• 2:42
  deserving
• 2:43
  of
• 2:43
  good
• 2:44
  treatment
• 2:44
  that
• 2:45
  yes,
• 2:45
  I
• 2:45
  should
• 2:45
  be
• 2:45
  making
• 2:46
  goals
• 2:46
  for
• 2:46
  myself,
• 2:46
  but
• 2:46
  I
• 2:47
  should
• 2:47
  also
• 2:47
  be
• 2:47
  having
• 2:48
  grace
• 2:48
  for
• 2:49
  myself.
• 2:49
  And
• 2:49
  acknowledging,
• 2:50
  okay,
• 2:50
  there's
• 2:51
  something
• 2:51
  going
• 2:51
  wrong
• 2:52
  here.
• 2:52
  What's
• 2:52
  happening.
• 2:53
  How
• 2:53
  can
• 2:53
  I
• 2:53
  help
• 2:54
  myself?
• 2:55
  In
• 2:56
  fact,
• 2:56
  I
• 2:57
  very
• 2:57
  often
• 2:57
  let
• 2:58
  myself
• 2:59
  and
• 2:59
  others
• 2:59
  mistreat
• 3:00
  me.
• 3:00
  Not
• 3:00
  in
• 3:01
  any
• 3:01
  serious
• 3:01
  ways,
• 3:02
  but
• 3:02
  in
• 3:02
  ways
• 3:02
  that
• 3:03
  didn't
• 3:03
  sit
• 3:04
  well
• 3:04
  with
• 3:04
  me,
• 3:05
  but
• 3:05
  I
• 3:05
  just
• 3:05
  allowed
• 3:05
  it
• 3:05
  because
• 3:05
  I
• 3:05
  didn't
• 3:06
  know
• 3:06
  any
• 3:06
  better.
• 3:07
  And
• 3:07
  so
• 3:07
  my
• 3:08
  brain
• 3:08
  was
• 3:08
  like,
• 3:08
  you
• 3:08
  know
• 3:09
  what?
• 3:09
  You're
• 3:09
  not
• 3:09
  very
• 3:09
  trustworthy.
• 3:11
  I
• 3:11
  think
• 3:11
  my
• 3:11
  brain
• 3:12
  knew
• 3:12
  that
• 3:12
  I
• 3:12
  was
• 3:13
  not
• 3:13
  yet
• 3:13
  in
• 3:13
  a
• 3:13
  place
• 3:14
  where
• 3:14
  I
• 3:14
  could
• 3:14
  fully
• 3:15
  protect
• 3:15
  myself
• 3:15
  the
• 3:15
  way
• 3:16
  I
• 3:16
  needed
• 3:16
  to.
• 3:16
  So
• 3:16
  I'm
• 3:16
  explaining
• 3:17
  this
• 3:17
  a
• 3:17
  little
• 3:17
  bit
• 3:17
  better.
• 3:18
  First,
• 3:19
  I
• 3:19
  would
• 3:19
  ask
• 3:19
  you
• 3:19
  this.
• 3:19
  Who
• 3:20
  in
• 3:20
  your
• 3:20
  life
• 3:20
  do
• 3:20
  you
• 3:21
  already
• 3:21
  trust?
• 3:22
  Is
• 3:22
  there
• 3:22
  someone
• 3:22
  that
• 3:23
  you
• 3:23
  think
• 3:23
  is
• 3:23
  really,
• 3:23
  really
• 3:24
  trustworthy?
• 3:25
  Maybe
• 3:25
  it
• 3:25
  is
• 3:25
  a
• 3:25
  friend
• 3:26
  who
• 3:26
  never,
• 3:26
  ever
• 3:27
  shares
• 3:27
  confidences.
• 3:28
  You
• 3:28
  know,
• 3:28
  you
• 3:28
  can
• 3:29
  go
• 3:29
  to
• 3:29
  this
• 3:29
  person
• 3:30
  and
• 3:30
  tell
• 3:30
  her
• 3:31
  all
• 3:31
  your
• 3:31
  hopes
• 3:31
  and
• 3:31
  dreams
• 3:32
  and
• 3:32
  scary
• 3:32
  thoughts
• 3:33
  and
• 3:33
  problems,
• 3:33
  and
• 3:33
  she
• 3:33
  will
• 3:34
  never
• 3:34
  share
• 3:34
  it
• 3:34
  with
• 3:34
  anyone
• 3:34
  else.
• 3:36
  Maybe
• 3:36
  it
• 3:36
  is
• 3:36
  a
• 3:36
  church
• 3:37
  leader
• 3:37
  who
• 3:37
  has
• 3:38
  perfect
• 3:39
  integrity.
• 3:39
  Everything
• 3:40
  you
• 3:40
  see
• 3:40
  him
• 3:40
  do
• 3:41
  is
• 3:41
  perfectly
• 3:42
  in
• 3:42
  alignment
• 3:42
  with
• 3:42
  his
• 3:42
  beliefs.
• 3:43
  And
• 3:43
  you
• 3:43
  so
• 3:43
  honor
• 3:43
  that.
• 3:45
  Or
• 3:45
  maybe
• 3:45
  it's
• 3:45
  a
• 3:45
  family
• 3:46
  member
• 3:46
  who
• 3:47
  just
• 3:47
  always
• 3:48
  openly
• 3:48
  and
• 3:48
  unconditionally
• 3:49
  loves
• 3:49
  you
• 3:50
  and
• 3:50
  everyone
• 3:50
  around
• 3:51
  you.
• 3:51
  I've
• 3:51
  known
• 3:52
  people.
• 3:53
  Of
• 3:53
  all
• 3:53
  walks
• 3:53
  of
• 3:54
  life,
• 3:54
  who
• 3:54
  could
• 3:54
  be
• 3:54
  described
• 3:55
  in
• 3:55
  these
• 3:55
  ways.
• 3:55
  And
• 3:56
  it's
• 3:56
  just
• 3:56
  so
• 3:57
  beautiful
• 3:57
  to
• 3:57
  be
• 3:57
  able
• 3:58
  to
• 3:58
  trust
• 3:58
  someone
• 3:59
  with
• 3:59
  your
• 3:59
  whole
• 3:59
  heart,
• 4:00
  And
• 4:00
  know
• 4:00
  that
• 4:00
  they
• 4:01
  will
• 4:01
  honor
• 4:01
  you
• 4:02
  and
• 4:02
  who
• 4:02
  you
• 4:02
  are
• 4:03
  and
• 4:03
  love
• 4:03
  you
• 4:03
  unconditionally.
• 4:04
  So
• 4:04
  that's
• 4:04
  what
• 4:04
  we
• 4:04
  want
• 4:04
  to
• 4:04
  try
• 4:05
  to
• 4:05
  create
• 4:05
  for
• 4:06
  ourselves.
• 4:06
  It's
• 4:06
  pretty
• 4:06
  powerful.
• 4:08
  Now,
• 4:09
  if
• 4:09
  you
• 4:09
  thought
• 4:09
  about
• 4:09
  this
• 4:09
  person
• 4:10
  or
• 4:11
  a
• 4:11
  handful
• 4:11
  of
• 4:11
  people
• 4:11
  that
• 4:12
  you
• 4:12
  trust
• 4:12
  really
• 4:12
  innately,
• 4:13
  I
• 4:13
  would
• 4:13
  suggest
• 4:14
  that
• 4:14
  you
• 4:14
  make
• 4:14
  a
• 4:14
  list
• 4:15
  of
• 4:15
  the
• 4:15
  traits
• 4:15
  or
• 4:15
  characteristics
• 4:16
  that
• 4:16
  these
• 4:17
  people
• 4:17
  have
• 4:18
  and
• 4:18
  that
• 4:18
  you
• 4:18
  associate
• 4:19
  with
• 4:19
  trustworthy
• 4:20
  worthiness,
• 4:20
  and
• 4:20
  then
• 4:20
  take
• 4:21
  a
• 4:21
  look
• 4:21
  at
• 4:21
  it.
• 4:22
  Do
• 4:22
  you
• 4:22
  have
• 4:23
  these
• 4:23
  traits?
• 4:24
  Maybe
• 4:24
  you
• 4:25
  admire
• 4:25
  them
• 4:25
  because
• 4:25
  there
• 4:25
  are
• 4:25
  things
• 4:26
  that
• 4:26
  you
• 4:26
  struggle
• 4:26
  with.
• 4:28
  Or
• 4:28
  maybe
• 4:28
  there
• 4:28
  are
• 4:29
  things
• 4:29
  that
• 4:29
  you
• 4:29
  would
• 4:29
  like
• 4:30
  to
• 4:30
  see
• 4:30
  yourself
• 4:30
  reflecting.
• 4:32
  In
• 4:32
  your
• 4:32
  own
• 4:32
  life.
• 4:33
  So
• 4:33
  this
• 4:33
  is
• 4:34
  a
• 4:34
  really
• 4:34
  great
• 4:34
  place
• 4:34
  to
• 4:35
  start.
• 4:35
  Who
• 4:35
  do
• 4:35
  you
• 4:35
  trust?
• 4:36
  Why.
• 4:37
  And
• 4:38
  what
• 4:38
  are
• 4:38
  the
• 4:38
  traits
• 4:38
  that
• 4:39
  make
• 4:39
  them
• 4:39
  trustworthy
• 4:40
  and
• 4:40
  how
• 4:40
  can
• 4:40
  you
• 4:40
  incorporate
• 4:41
  them
• 4:41
  into
• 4:41
  your
• 4:41
  life?
• 4:42
  All
• 4:42
  right.
• 4:43
  So
• 4:43
  in
• 4:43
  this
• 4:43
  episode,
• 4:44
  we're
• 4:44
  going
• 4:44
  to
• 4:44
  break
• 4:44
  down,
• 4:44
  trusting
• 4:45
  ourselves
• 4:45
  into
• 4:45
  three
• 4:46
  main
• 4:46
  areas.
• 4:48
  The
• 4:48
  first
• 4:48
  one
• 4:48
  is
• 4:49
  honoring
• 4:49
  our
• 4:49
  commitments
• 4:50
  to
• 4:51
  ourself.
• 4:52
  So
• 4:52
  I
• 4:52
  would
• 4:52
  say
• 4:52
  that
• 4:53
  one
• 4:53
  of
• 4:53
  the
• 4:53
  main
• 4:54
  traits
• 4:55
  that
• 4:55
  I
• 4:55
  consider
• 4:55
  to
• 4:55
  be
• 4:55
  trustworthy
• 4:56
  is
• 4:57
  follow
• 4:57
  through.
• 4:58
  If
• 4:58
  I
• 4:59
  ask
• 4:59
  someone
• 4:59
  to
• 5:00
  do
• 5:00
  something
• 5:00
  for
• 5:00
  me
• 5:00
  and
• 5:01
  they
• 5:01
  follow
• 5:01
  through
• 5:02
  with
• 5:02
  it.
• 5:03
  I
• 5:03
  know
• 5:03
  that
• 5:04
  they're
• 5:04
  trustworthy.
• 5:05
  That
• 5:05
  is
• 5:06
  what
• 5:06
  we
• 5:06
  need
• 5:06
  to
• 5:06
  work
• 5:06
  on
• 5:07
  with
• 5:07
  ourselves.
• 5:08
  if
• 5:08
  you
• 5:08
  have
• 5:08
  a
• 5:09
  problem
• 5:09
  with
• 5:09
  this,
• 5:09
  you
• 5:09
  might
• 5:09
  want
• 5:10
  to
• 5:10
  look
• 5:10
  at
• 5:10
  it
• 5:10
  in
• 5:10
  one
• 5:10
  of
• 5:10
  two
• 5:10
  ways.
• 5:11
  Do
• 5:11
  you
• 5:12
  tend
• 5:12
  to
• 5:12
  over-commit
• 5:13
  to
• 5:13
  yourself?
• 5:15
  Like
• 5:15
  give
• 5:15
  yourself
• 5:15
  a
• 5:16
  list
• 5:16
  of
• 5:16
  five
• 5:16
  or
• 5:16
  six
• 5:17
  massive
• 5:17
  goals
• 5:17
  you
• 5:17
  want
• 5:17
  to
• 5:17
  work
• 5:18
  on
• 5:18
  at
• 5:18
  the
• 5:18
  same
• 5:18
  time.
• 5:18
  And
• 5:18
  it's
• 5:18
  a
• 5:18
  little
• 5:19
  bit
• 5:19
  too
• 5:19
  much.
• 5:20
  Or
• 5:20
  do
• 5:20
  you
• 5:20
  underperform?
• 5:21
  Maybe
• 5:22
  your
• 5:22
  goals
• 5:22
  are
• 5:22
  reasonable,
• 5:23
  but
• 5:23
  you
• 5:23
  just
• 5:23
  can't
• 5:24
  seem
• 5:24
  to
• 5:24
  measure
• 5:24
  up
• 5:25
  to
• 5:25
  them.
• 5:26
  Ask
• 5:26
  yourself,
• 5:26
  these
• 5:26
  questions
• 5:27
  and
• 5:27
  then
• 5:28
  ask
• 5:28
  yourself
• 5:28
  why.
• 5:29
  Why
• 5:29
  do
• 5:30
  you
• 5:30
  chronically
• 5:30
  overcome
• 5:30
  it?
• 5:31
  Do
• 5:31
  you
• 5:31
  think
• 5:31
  that
• 5:31
  you
• 5:32
  are
• 5:32
  capable
• 5:33
  of
• 5:33
  more
• 5:33
  than
• 5:33
  you
• 5:33
  are
• 5:33
  you
• 5:33
  think
• 5:33
  you
• 5:33
  have
• 5:34
  more
• 5:34
  time
• 5:34
  than
• 5:34
  you
• 5:34
  do?
• 5:35
  Or
• 5:35
  why
• 5:35
  do
• 5:35
  you
• 5:35
  chronically
• 5:36
  underperform?
• 5:36
  Do
• 5:36
  you
• 5:37
  not
• 5:37
  believe
• 5:37
  that
• 5:37
  you
• 5:37
  can
• 5:38
  do
• 5:38
  it?
• 5:38
  is
• 5:39
  your
• 5:39
  motivation
• 5:40
  not
• 5:40
  in
• 5:40
  the
• 5:41
  right
• 5:41
  place?
• 5:42
  So
• 5:42
  this
• 5:42
  is
• 5:42
  something
• 5:43
  important
• 5:43
  to
• 5:43
  look
• 5:43
  at.
• 5:44
  Now
• 5:44
  I
• 5:45
  noticed
• 5:45
  that
• 5:46
  moms.
• 5:47
  In
• 5:47
  particular.
• 5:48
  Tend
• 5:48
  to
• 5:49
  be
• 5:49
  really
• 5:49
  gung-ho
• 5:50
  about
• 5:50
  their
• 5:50
  goals
• 5:51
  and
• 5:51
  their
• 5:51
  dreams,
• 5:51
  especially
• 5:51
  the
• 5:52
  overachievers.
• 5:52
  Right.
• 5:53
  But
• 5:54
  then
• 5:54
  very
• 5:55
  often
• 5:55
  unrealistic
• 5:56
  and
• 5:56
  their
• 5:56
  understanding
• 5:57
  of
• 5:57
  what
• 5:57
  they
• 5:57
  are
• 5:57
  truly
• 5:58
  capable
• 5:58
  of.
• 5:59
  So.
• 6:00
  If
• 6:00
  you
• 6:00
  have
• 6:01
  a
• 6:01
  bunch
• 6:01
  of
• 6:01
  babies
• 6:02
  at
• 6:02
  home
• 6:03
  and
• 6:03
  you
• 6:03
  have
• 6:03
  a
• 6:03
  goal
• 6:03
  to
• 6:04
  run
• 6:04
  a
• 6:04
  marathon.
• 6:06
  There's
• 6:06
  going
• 6:06
  to
• 6:07
  be
• 6:07
  some
• 6:07
  sacrifices
• 6:08
  that
• 6:08
  you're
• 6:08
  gonna
• 6:08
  need
• 6:08
  to
• 6:08
  make.
• 6:09
  And
• 6:09
  you're
• 6:10
  going
• 6:10
  to
• 6:10
  need
• 6:10
  to
• 6:10
  be
• 6:10
  really
• 6:11
  realistic
• 6:11
  of
• 6:12
  what
• 6:12
  you're
• 6:12
  willing
• 6:12
  to
• 6:12
  put
• 6:12
  into
• 6:13
  this
• 6:13
  goal
• 6:14
  without
• 6:15
  dropping
• 6:15
  other
• 6:15
  priorities
• 6:16
  that
• 6:16
  are
• 6:16
  just
• 6:17
  as
• 6:17
  important
• 6:17
  or
• 6:17
  more
• 6:17
  important.
• 6:18
  If
• 6:18
  I
• 6:18
  have
• 6:19
  a
• 6:19
  baby
• 6:19
  that
• 6:19
  needs
• 6:19
  to
• 6:20
  wake
• 6:20
  up
• 6:20
  to
• 6:20
  nurse
• 6:20
  at
• 6:21
  five
• 6:21
  o'clock
• 6:21
  in
• 6:21
  the
• 6:21
  morning,
• 6:22
  and
• 6:23
  I
• 6:23
  also
• 6:23
  need
• 6:24
  to
• 6:24
  train
• 6:24
  for
• 6:24
  a
• 6:24
  marathon
• 6:25
  at
• 6:25
  that
• 6:25
  time,
• 6:25
  something
• 6:26
  has
• 6:26
  to
• 6:26
  give
• 6:26
  We're
• 6:26
  going
• 6:27
  to
• 6:27
  have
• 6:27
  to
• 6:27
  figure
• 6:27
  that
• 6:27
  out.
• 6:27
  So.
• 6:29
  Do
• 6:29
  yourself
• 6:29
  a
• 6:29
  favor
• 6:30
  of
• 6:30
  looking
• 6:31
  ahead
• 6:32
  to
• 6:32
  your
• 6:32
  goals
• 6:32
  and
• 6:32
  your
• 6:33
  dreams
• 6:33
  and
• 6:33
  deciding
• 6:34
  what
• 6:34
  you
• 6:34
  are
• 6:34
  capable
• 6:35
  of.
• 6:35
  However,
• 6:36
  Do
• 6:36
  not
• 6:37
  let
• 6:37
  yourself
• 6:37
  off
• 6:38
  the
• 6:38
  hook
• 6:38
  too
• 6:38
  easy,
• 6:39
  so
• 6:39
  this
• 6:39
  is
• 6:39
  a
• 6:39
  balance,
• 6:40
  just
• 6:40
  like
• 6:40
  anything
• 6:40
  else,
• 6:40
  right?
• 6:41
  Make
• 6:41
  sure
• 6:41
  that
• 6:42
  you
• 6:42
  are
• 6:42
  setting
• 6:43
  realistic
• 6:43
  goals,
• 6:44
  but
• 6:44
  also
• 6:44
  don't
• 6:45
  hold
• 6:45
  yourself
• 6:45
  back.
• 6:45
  If
• 6:46
  you
• 6:46
  know,
• 6:46
  you
• 6:46
  can
• 6:46
  push
• 6:46
  yourself
• 6:47
  farther,
• 6:47
  do
• 6:47
  it,
• 6:48
  try
• 6:48
  it.
• 6:48
  And
• 6:48
  if
• 6:48
  it
• 6:48
  ends
• 6:49
  up
• 6:49
  being
• 6:49
  too
• 6:49
  much,
• 6:49
  you
• 6:49
  can
• 6:49
  scale
• 6:50
  back
• 6:50
  from
• 6:50
  there.
• 6:50
  So
• 6:50
  just
• 6:50
  kind
• 6:51
  of
• 6:51
  a
• 6:51
  give
• 6:51
  and
• 6:51
  take
• 6:52
  of
• 6:52
  figuring
• 6:52
  out
• 6:52
  what
• 6:52
  you're
• 6:52
  capable
• 6:53
  of.
• 6:54
  Now
• 6:54
  when
• 6:54
  you're
• 6:54
  starting
• 6:55
  something
• 6:55
  new,
• 6:55
  like
• 6:55
  a
• 6:55
  brand
• 6:56
  new
• 6:56
  podcast
• 6:57
  or
• 6:57
  a
• 6:57
  new
• 6:58
  hobby
• 6:58
  or
• 6:59
  a
• 6:59
  creation
• 7:00
  that
• 7:00
  you're
• 7:00
  working
• 7:00
  on,
• 7:01
  this
• 7:01
  is
• 7:01
  very
• 7:01
  common.
• 7:02
  Generally
• 7:02
  because
• 7:03
  you
• 7:03
  don't
• 7:03
  know
• 7:03
  what
• 7:04
  you're
• 7:04
  capable
• 7:04
  of
• 7:04
  yet.
• 7:05
  Let's
• 7:05
  say
• 7:06
  you
• 7:06
  want
• 7:06
  to
• 7:06
  become
• 7:06
  a
• 7:06
  muralist.
• 7:07
  And
• 7:07
  so
• 7:07
  your
• 7:08
  goal
• 7:08
  for
• 7:08
  your
• 7:08
  time
• 7:09
  for
• 7:09
  yourself
• 7:09
  is
• 7:09
  to
• 7:10
  get
• 7:10
  some
• 7:10
  painting
• 7:11
  practice
• 7:11
  in,
• 7:12
  but
• 7:12
  you
• 7:12
  don't
• 7:12
  know
• 7:12
  how
• 7:12
  long
• 7:13
  that's
• 7:13
  going
• 7:13
  to
• 7:13
  take.
• 7:13
  You
• 7:13
  don't
• 7:13
  know
• 7:13
  how
• 7:13
  long
• 7:14
  you
• 7:14
  want
• 7:14
  to
• 7:14
  dedicate
• 7:14
  to
• 7:15
  it.
• 7:15
  You
• 7:15
  don't
• 7:15
  know
• 7:15
  how
• 7:15
  often
• 7:16
  you're
• 7:16
  going
• 7:16
  to
• 7:16
  want
• 7:16
  to
• 7:16
  do
• 7:16
  it.
• 7:16
  Maybe
• 7:16
  you're
• 7:17
  going
• 7:17
  to
• 7:17
  have
• 7:17
  that.
• 7:19
  Desire
• 7:19
  to
• 7:19
  be
• 7:19
  creative
• 7:20
  every
• 7:20
  afternoon
• 7:20
  at
• 7:20
  3:00
• 7:21
  PM,
• 7:21
  or
• 7:21
  maybe
• 7:21
  your
• 7:22
  creativity
• 7:23
  comes
• 7:23
  in
• 7:23
  longer
• 7:24
  spurts,
• 7:24
  and
• 7:24
  you
• 7:24
  really
• 7:25
  only
• 7:25
  want
• 7:25
  to
• 7:25
  do
• 7:25
  it
• 7:25
  on
• 7:25
  Saturday
• 7:26
  afternoons.
• 7:27
  So
• 7:27
  just
• 7:27
  play
• 7:28
  around
• 7:28
  with
• 7:28
  it.
• 7:28
  Don't
• 7:29
  be
• 7:29
  too
• 7:29
  strict
• 7:30
  on
• 7:30
  yourself,
• 7:30
  but
• 7:31
  do
• 7:31
  hold
• 7:32
  yourself
• 7:33
  accountable
• 7:33
  for
• 7:34
  the
• 7:34
  things
• 7:34
  that
• 7:34
  you've
• 7:34
  asked
• 7:34
  yourself
• 7:35
  to
• 7:35
  do,
• 7:35
  until
• 7:36
  you
• 7:36
  truly
• 7:36
  know
• 7:36
  what
• 7:36
  you're
• 7:36
  capable
• 7:37
  of
• 7:37
  and
• 7:37
  what
• 7:37
  to
• 7:38
  expect.
• 7:38
  It
• 7:38
  will
• 7:38
  be
• 7:38
  a
• 7:38
  little
• 7:38
  bit
• 7:38
  of
• 7:39
  trial
• 7:39
  and
• 7:39
  error.
• 7:39
  This
• 7:39
  comes
• 7:40
  up
• 7:40
  a
• 7:40
  lot
• 7:40
  for
• 7:40
  me
• 7:40
  in
• 7:40
  my
• 7:40
  business.
• 7:41
  Actually,
• 7:42
  very
• 7:42
  often
• 7:42
  I
• 7:42
  will
• 7:43
  schedule
• 7:43
  something
• 7:43
  in
• 7:43
  my
• 7:43
  calendar
• 7:44
  and
• 7:44
  give
• 7:44
  myself
• 7:44
  a
• 7:44
  half
• 7:44
  an
• 7:44
  hour
• 7:45
  or
• 7:45
  an
• 7:45
  hour
• 7:45
  to
• 7:45
  do
• 7:45
  it.
• 7:46
  And
• 7:46
  the
• 7:46
  next
• 7:46
  thing
• 7:46
  I
• 7:46
  know
• 7:47
  it's
• 7:47
  taking
• 7:47
  way
• 7:48
  longer
• 7:48
  generally,
• 7:49
  because
• 7:49
  it's
• 7:49
  a
• 7:49
  new
• 7:49
  project
• 7:50
  that
• 7:50
  I've
• 7:50
  never
• 7:50
  worked
• 7:50
  on
• 7:50
  before.
• 7:51
  Now.
• 7:51
  We
• 7:52
  can
• 7:52
  also
• 7:53
  fall
• 7:53
  into
• 7:53
  the
• 7:53
  habit
• 7:54
  of
• 7:54
  letting
• 7:55
  things
• 7:55
  take
• 7:55
  longer
• 7:56
  than
• 7:56
  they
• 7:56
  should,
• 7:57
  because.
• 7:58
  We're
• 7:58
  just
• 7:58
  working
• 7:59
  slowly
• 7:59
  or
• 7:59
  we're
• 8:00
  kind
• 8:00
  of
• 8:00
  buffering
• 8:00
  with
• 8:01
  this
• 8:01
  activity.
• 8:01
  So
• 8:02
  watch
• 8:02
  out
• 8:02
  for
• 8:02
  that.
• 8:03
  But
• 8:03
  until
• 8:04
  you're
• 8:04
  used
• 8:04
  to
• 8:04
  the
• 8:04
  activity,
• 8:05
  the
• 8:05
  new
• 8:05
  activity
• 8:05
  that
• 8:05
  you're
• 8:06
  working
• 8:06
  on
• 8:06
  this
• 8:06
  business
• 8:07
  or
• 8:07
  creative
• 8:07
  hobby
• 8:07
  or
• 8:07
  whatever.
• 8:09
  Give
• 8:09
  yourself
• 8:09
  grace
• 8:10
  to
• 8:10
  be
• 8:10
  wrong
• 8:10
  about
• 8:11
  how
• 8:11
  much
• 8:11
  time
• 8:12
  and
• 8:12
  effort
• 8:12
  is
• 8:12
  going
• 8:12
  to
• 8:13
  be
• 8:13
  required.
• 8:14
  Now
• 8:14
  I
• 8:14
  have
• 8:15
  a
• 8:15
  great
• 8:15
  episode
• 8:16
  for
• 8:16
  you
• 8:16
  to
• 8:16
  refer
• 8:17
  to.
• 8:18
  In
• 8:18
  regards
• 8:18
  to
• 8:18
  this
• 8:18
  concept,
• 8:19
  it's
• 8:19
  called
• 8:19
  a
• 8:19
  grace
• 8:20
  versus
• 8:20
  excuse
• 8:21
  and
• 8:21
  it's
• 8:21
  over
• 8:22
  on
• 8:22
  outnumber
• 8:22
  the
• 8:22
  podcast.
• 8:23
  My
• 8:23
  other
• 8:23
  podcast
• 8:24
  that
• 8:24
  I
• 8:24
  share
• 8:24
  with
• 8:24
  my
• 8:24
  cohost
• 8:25
  Audrey.
• 8:25
  And
• 8:25
  this
• 8:26
  is
• 8:26
  a
• 8:26
  great
• 8:26
  episode
• 8:26
  because
• 8:26
  Audrey
• 8:27
  and
• 8:27
  I
• 8:27
  were
• 8:27
  noticing
• 8:28
  that.
• 8:29
  For
• 8:29
  those
• 8:29
  of
• 8:30
  us
• 8:30
  who
• 8:30
  are
• 8:30
  busy
• 8:31
  moms,
• 8:31
  we
• 8:32
  have
• 8:32
  a
• 8:32
  lot
• 8:32
  of
• 8:32
  goals
• 8:32
  and
• 8:32
  dreams.
• 8:33
  And
• 8:33
  so
• 8:34
  we'll
• 8:34
  create
• 8:34
  one
• 8:35
  for
• 8:35
  ourselves.
• 8:35
  And
• 8:35
  then
• 8:35
  when
• 8:36
  we
• 8:36
  don't
• 8:36
  immediately
• 8:36
  succeed
• 8:37
  at
• 8:37
  it,
• 8:37
  we'll
• 8:37
  beat
• 8:37
  ourselves
• 8:38
  up.
• 8:38
  Or
• 8:39
  we'll
• 8:40
  make
• 8:40
  excuses
• 8:41
  for
• 8:41
  not
• 8:41
  doing
• 8:42
  it
• 8:42
  correctly.
• 8:43
  Even
• 8:44
  after
• 8:44
  committing
• 8:44
  to
• 8:44
  ourselves.
• 8:45
  So
• 8:45
  it's
• 8:45
  this
• 8:45
  balance,
• 8:46
  right?
• 8:47
  I'll
• 8:47
  give
• 8:47
  you
• 8:47
  the
• 8:47
  example
• 8:48
  of
• 8:48
  starting
• 8:48
  this
• 8:48
  podcast.
• 8:49
  I
• 8:49
  had
• 8:49
  been
• 8:50
  thinking
• 8:50
  about
• 8:50
  it
• 8:50
  for
• 8:50
  a
• 8:50
  while.
• 8:51
  I
• 8:51
  had
• 8:51
  been
• 8:51
  writing
• 8:51
  down
• 8:51
  some
• 8:52
  ideas
• 8:52
  and
• 8:53
  I
• 8:53
  just
• 8:54
  had
• 8:54
  not
• 8:55
  taken
• 8:55
  any
• 8:55
  action
• 8:56
  towards
• 8:56
  it.
• 8:56
  Finally,
• 8:57
  I
• 8:57
  went
• 8:57
  on
• 8:57
  a
• 8:57
  trip
• 8:58
  and
• 8:58
  had
• 8:58
  a
• 8:58
  lot
• 8:58
  of
• 8:58
  downtime
• 8:59
  to
• 8:59
  think
• 8:59
  on
• 8:59
  my
• 8:59
  plane
• 9:00
  ride.
• 9:00
  Like
• 9:00
  I
• 9:00
  mentioned
• 9:00
  in
• 9:00
  the
• 9:01
  other.
• 9:01
  The
• 9:01
  previous
• 9:01
  episode.
• 9:03
  And
• 9:03
  I
• 9:03
  did
• 9:03
  some
• 9:03
  big
• 9:04
  picture
• 9:04
  thinking.
• 9:04
  And
• 9:04
  when
• 9:04
  I
• 9:04
  came
• 9:05
  home,
• 9:05
  I
• 9:05
  just
• 9:05
  said,
• 9:05
  I'm
• 9:05
  just
• 9:06
  going
• 9:06
  to
• 9:06
  start.
• 9:07
  There's
• 9:07
  no
• 9:07
  more
• 9:07
  thinking.
• 9:08
  There's
• 9:08
  no
• 9:08
  more
• 9:09
  brainstorming.
• 9:09
  There's
• 9:10
  no
• 9:10
  more
• 9:10
  planning.
• 9:10
  I
• 9:11
  didn't
• 9:11
  know
• 9:11
  where
• 9:11
  I
• 9:11
  wanted
• 9:11
  to
• 9:11
  host
• 9:12
  it.
• 9:12
  I
• 9:12
  didn't
• 9:12
  know
• 9:12
  what
• 9:12
  software
• 9:13
  I
• 9:13
  wanted
• 9:13
  to
• 9:13
  use
• 9:13
  to
• 9:13
  edit
• 9:14
  it
• 9:14
  with.
• 9:14
  I
• 9:14
  was
• 9:14
  going
• 9:14
  to
• 9:14
  change
• 9:15
  some
• 9:15
  things
• 9:15
  up
• 9:15
  from
• 9:15
  how
• 9:15
  I
• 9:15
  do.
• 9:16
  Things
• 9:16
  with
• 9:17
  my
• 9:17
  outnumbered
• 9:17
  podcasts.
• 9:18
  And
• 9:19
  I
• 9:19
  just
• 9:19
  chose
• 9:20
  to
• 9:20
  start.
• 9:20
  So
• 9:20
  that
• 9:21
  balance
• 9:21
  of
• 9:21
  giving
• 9:21
  yourself
• 9:22
  grace,
• 9:22
  but
• 9:23
  not
• 9:23
  allowing
• 9:23
  yourself
• 9:24
  to
• 9:24
  make
• 9:24
  excuses
• 9:25
  is
• 9:25
  really,
• 9:26
  really
• 9:26
  powerful.
• 9:27
  Be
• 9:28
  honest
• 9:28
  with
• 9:28
  yourself.
• 9:29
  What
• 9:29
  commitments
• 9:29
  have
• 9:30
  you
• 9:30
  made
• 9:30
  to
• 9:30
  yourself
• 9:31
  That
• 9:31
  you
• 9:31
  have
• 9:31
  fallen
• 9:31
  behind
• 9:32
  on
• 9:32
  and
• 9:32
  you
• 9:32
  want
• 9:33
  to
• 9:33
  do
• 9:33
  better
• 9:33
  on
• 9:33
  and
• 9:34
  then
• 9:34
  go
• 9:34
  out
• 9:34
  there
• 9:34
  and
• 9:34
  do
• 9:34
  it.
• 9:35
  Now,
• 9:36
  if
• 9:36
  you
• 9:36
  are
• 9:36
  in
• 9:36
  the
• 9:36
  process
• 9:37
  of
• 9:37
  starting
• 9:37
  a
• 9:37
  business,
• 9:37
  a
• 9:37
  great
• 9:38
  way
• 9:38
  to
• 9:38
  begin
• 9:39
  is
• 9:39
  to
• 9:39
  make
• 9:39
  one
• 9:40
  goal
• 9:41
  for
• 9:41
  yourself,
• 9:41
  Just
• 9:42
  one.
• 9:43
  It
• 9:43
  can
• 9:43
  be
• 9:43
  a
• 9:43
  big
• 9:43
  goal,
• 9:44
  but
• 9:44
  just
• 9:44
  start
• 9:44
  with
• 9:45
  one
• 9:45
  thing.
• 9:45
  And
• 9:47
  then
• 9:47
  just
• 9:47
  determine,
• 9:48
  how
• 9:48
  am
• 9:48
  I
• 9:48
  going
• 9:48
  to
• 9:48
  use
• 9:49
  this
• 9:49
  goal
• 9:49
  to
• 9:49
  share
• 9:49
  my
• 9:49
  talents
• 9:50
  with
• 9:50
  the
• 9:50
  world.
• 9:50
  Now
• 9:51
  I'm
• 9:51
  a
• 9:51
  big
• 9:51
  fan
• 9:51
  of
• 9:52
  Bonnie,
• 9:52
  Christine.
• 9:52
  She
• 9:53
  is
• 9:53
  a
• 9:53
  surface
• 9:53
  pattern
• 9:53
  designer
• 9:54
  and
• 9:54
  a
• 9:54
  course
• 9:54
  creator.
• 9:55
  She's
• 9:55
  amazing.
• 9:55
  Go
• 9:55
  look
• 9:56
  her
• 9:56
  up.
• 9:56
  But
• 9:56
  she
• 9:57
  very
• 9:57
  often
• 9:58
  tells
• 9:58
  her
• 9:58
  students
• 9:58
  to
• 9:58
  just
• 9:59
  start
• 9:59
  doing
• 10:00
  one
• 10:00
  thing
• 10:01
  each
• 10:01
  day.
• 10:02
  And
• 10:02
  I
• 10:02
  think
• 10:02
  that's
• 10:02
  such
• 10:02
  a
• 10:02
  powerful
• 10:03
  bit
• 10:03
  of
• 10:03
  advice.
• 10:04
  Just
• 10:04
  one
• 10:04
  thing,
• 10:05
  just
• 10:05
  one
• 10:05
  thing
• 10:06
  towards
• 10:06
  your
• 10:06
  goal
• 10:06
  of
• 10:06
  starting
• 10:07
  a
• 10:07
  business.
• 10:08
  I
• 10:08
  like
• 10:08
  to
• 10:08
  do
• 10:09
  this
• 10:09
  by
• 10:09
  carving
• 10:09
  out
• 10:10
  the
• 10:10
  time
• 10:10
  first,
• 10:11
  because
• 10:11
  if
• 10:11
  I
• 10:11
  tell
• 10:11
  myself
• 10:12
  I
• 10:12
  just
• 10:12
  have
• 10:12
  to
• 10:12
  do
• 10:12
  one
• 10:12
  thing
• 10:13
  today
• 10:14
  and
• 10:14
  I
• 10:14
  don't
• 10:14
  actually
• 10:14
  carve
• 10:14
  out
• 10:15
  the
• 10:15
  time
• 10:15
  that
• 10:15
  it's
• 10:15
  going
• 10:16
  to
• 10:16
  be
• 10:16
  10:00
• 10:16
  PM.
• 10:16
  I'll
• 10:16
  be
• 10:16
  exhausted
• 10:17
  and
• 10:17
  think,
• 10:17
  oh,
• 10:17
  I
• 10:17
  didn't
• 10:18
  do
• 10:18
  it
• 10:18
  again.
• 10:18
  And
• 10:18
  I'm
• 10:18
  too
• 10:19
  tired
• 10:19
  now.
• 10:19
  And
• 10:20
  then
• 10:20
  come
• 10:20
  all
• 10:20
  the
• 10:20
  excuses,
• 10:21
  right.
• 10:22
  So
• 10:22
  I
• 10:23
  will
• 10:23
  car
• 10:24
  out.
• 10:25
  2030
• 10:25
  minutes
• 10:25
  for
• 10:26
  myself
• 10:26
  and
• 10:26
  say,
• 10:26
  that's
• 10:27
  what
• 10:27
  I'm
• 10:27
  going
• 10:27
  to
• 10:27
  do.
• 10:27
  My
• 10:27
  one
• 10:27
  thing.
• 10:28
  And
• 10:28
  frankly,
• 10:28
  I
• 10:29
  think
• 10:29
  carving
• 10:29
  out
• 10:29
  the
• 10:29
  time
• 10:30
  is
• 10:30
  way
• 10:30
  more
• 10:30
  important
• 10:30
  than
• 10:31
  knowing
• 10:31
  what
• 10:31
  you
• 10:31
  want
• 10:31
  to
• 10:31
  do.
• 10:32
  Because
• 10:32
  when
• 10:32
  the
• 10:32
  time
• 10:33
  comes,
• 10:33
  then
• 10:34
  you
• 10:34
  have
• 10:34
  already
• 10:34
  carved
• 10:34
  it
• 10:34
  out
• 10:35
  and
• 10:35
  you
• 10:35
  can
• 10:35
  sit
• 10:35
  down
• 10:35
  and
• 10:35
  decide.
• 10:36
  Now,
• 10:37
  planning
• 10:37
  ahead
• 10:37
  is
• 10:37
  also
• 10:37
  very
• 10:38
  useful,
• 10:38
  but
• 10:38
  at
• 10:38
  the
• 10:38
  beginning,
• 10:39
  just
• 10:40
  start
• 10:40
  somewhere
• 10:40
  And
• 10:40
  starting
• 10:41
  with
• 10:41
  carving
• 10:41
  out
• 10:41
  this
• 10:41
  time
• 10:42
  is
• 10:42
  really,
• 10:42
  really
• 10:42
  helpful.
• 10:43
  So
• 10:43
  maybe
• 10:43
  at
• 10:43
  one
• 10:44
  o'clock
• 10:44
  every
• 10:44
  afternoon.
• 10:45
  That's
• 10:45
  when
• 10:45
  you're
• 10:45
  going
• 10:46
  to
• 10:46
  sit
• 10:46
  down
• 10:46
  at
• 10:46
  your
• 10:46
  computer
• 10:46
  and
• 10:47
  you're
• 10:47
  going
• 10:47
  to
• 10:47
  start
• 10:47
  Googling
• 10:48
  how
• 10:48
  to
• 10:48
  create
• 10:48
  a
• 10:48
  podcast,
• 10:49
  how
• 10:50
  to
• 10:50
  write
• 10:50
  a
• 10:50
  blog,
• 10:50
  how
• 10:51
  to,
• 10:51
  edit
• 10:52
  a
• 10:52
  YouTube
• 10:52
  video
• 10:52
  or
• 10:53
  whatever
• 10:53
  it
• 10:53
  is
• 10:53
  that
• 10:53
  you're
• 10:53
  thinking
• 10:54
  about.
• 10:54
  Putting
• 10:54
  out
• 10:54
  into
• 10:54
  the
• 10:54
  world.
• 10:55
  But
• 10:55
  start
• 10:56
  with
• 10:56
  that
• 10:56
  time
• 10:57
  being
• 10:57
  carved
• 10:57
  out
• 10:57
  and
• 10:58
  honor
• 10:58
  that
• 10:58
  commitment
• 10:58
  to
• 10:58
  yourself
• 10:59
  and
• 10:59
  then
• 10:59
  show
• 10:59
  your
• 11:00
  family
• 11:00
  how
• 11:00
  to
• 11:00
  honor
• 11:00
  it
• 11:00
  as
• 11:00
  well.
• 11:01
  They
• 11:01
  will
• 11:02
  not
• 11:02
  honor
• 11:03
  our
• 11:03
  commitments
• 11:03
  to
• 11:03
  ourselves
• 11:04
  unless
• 11:04
  we
• 11:04
  do
• 11:05
  that
• 11:05
  first.
• 11:06
  How
• 11:07
  many
• 11:07
  times
• 11:07
  your
• 11:07
  kids
• 11:07
  come
• 11:07
  up
• 11:08
  to
• 11:08
  you
• 11:08
  in
• 11:08
  the
• 11:08
  bathroom
• 11:08
  and
• 11:08
  start
• 11:08
  banging
• 11:09
  on
• 11:09
  the
• 11:09
  door
• 11:09
  because
• 11:09
  they
• 11:09
  need
• 11:09
  something
• 11:10
  from
• 11:10
  you.
• 11:10
  But
• 11:11
  I
• 11:11
  don't
• 11:11
  think
• 11:11
  you
• 11:11
  well,
• 11:12
  I
• 11:12
  hope
• 11:12
  you
• 11:12
  don't
• 11:13
  often
• 11:13
  open
• 11:13
  the
• 11:13
  door
• 11:14
  and
• 11:14
  help
• 11:14
  them
• 11:14
  with
• 11:14
  the
• 11:14
  thing
• 11:15
  when
• 11:15
  it's
• 11:15
  something
• 11:16
  that
• 11:16
  can
• 11:16
  wait.
• 11:16
  I
• 11:16
  hope
• 11:17
  you
• 11:17
  honor
• 11:17
  that
• 11:17
  time.
• 11:18
  At
• 11:19
  the
• 11:19
  very
• 11:19
  least
• 11:19
  we
• 11:20
  deserve
• 11:20
  some
• 11:20
  private
• 11:20
  bathroom
• 11:21
  time.
• 11:21
  Just
• 11:21
  a
• 11:21
  few
• 11:21
  minutes,
• 11:21
  unless
• 11:22
  there's
• 11:22
  blood.
• 11:22
  So
• 11:23
  do
• 11:23
  the
• 11:23
  same
• 11:23
  for
• 11:23
  yourself
• 11:24
  in
• 11:24
  building
• 11:24
  this
• 11:25
  new
• 11:25
  chapter
• 11:25
  of
• 11:25
  your
• 11:25
  life.
• 11:26
  Okay.
• 11:27
  The
• 11:27
  second
• 11:27
  way
• 11:27
  we
• 11:27
  can
• 11:27
  learn
• 11:28
  to
• 11:28
  trust
• 11:28
  ourselves
• 11:28
  is
• 11:28
  to
• 11:29
  respect
• 11:29
  our
• 11:30
  own.
• 11:31
  Boundaries
• 11:32
  boundaries
• 11:32
  are
• 11:32
  kind
• 11:33
  of
• 11:33
  a
• 11:33
  hot
• 11:33
  button
• 11:34
  topic
• 11:34
  these
• 11:34
  days.
• 11:35
  Everybody
• 11:35
  likes
• 11:35
  to
• 11:35
  talk
• 11:35
  about
• 11:36
  them,
• 11:36
  but
• 11:36
  they
• 11:36
  are
• 11:36
  incredibly
• 11:38
  powerful.
• 11:39
  So
• 11:39
  let
• 11:39
  me
• 11:39
  ask
• 11:39
  you
• 11:39
  this.
• 11:40
  Would
• 11:41
  you
• 11:41
  respect
• 11:42
  or
• 11:42
  trust
• 11:43
  someone
• 11:43
  who
• 11:43
  regularly
• 11:44
  came
• 11:44
  into
• 11:44
  your
• 11:45
  house
• 11:45
  unannounced?
• 11:46
  Walked
• 11:46
  into
• 11:46
  your
• 11:47
  bedroom
• 11:47
  and
• 11:47
  started
• 11:48
  using
• 11:48
  your
• 11:48
  makeup.
• 11:49
  No,
• 11:50
  you
• 11:50
  would
• 11:50
  be
• 11:50
  grossed
• 11:50
  out
• 11:51
  and
• 11:51
  horrified
• 11:51
  unless
• 11:52
  it
• 11:52
  was
• 11:52
  maybe
• 11:52
  your
• 11:52
  sister
• 11:53
  or
• 11:53
  something.
• 11:53
  You
• 11:53
  have
• 11:53
  a
• 11:53
  relationship
• 11:54
  like
• 11:54
  that
• 11:54
  with
• 11:54
  your
• 11:54
  best
• 11:54
  friend.
• 11:55
  I
• 11:55
  don't
• 11:55
  know.
• 11:56
  No.
• 11:56
  Or
• 11:56
  your
• 11:56
  toothbrush
• 11:57
  gross.
• 11:57
  Stay
• 11:58
  out
• 11:58
  of
• 11:58
  my
• 11:58
  space,
• 11:59
  right?
• 11:59
  That
• 11:59
  is
• 11:59
  a
• 11:59
  boundary
• 12:00
  you
• 12:00
  have
• 12:00
  for
• 12:00
  the
• 12:00
  people
• 12:01
  in
• 12:01
  your
• 12:01
  life.
• 12:02
  You
• 12:02
  knock
• 12:02
  on
• 12:02
  my
• 12:02
  door,
• 12:03
  you
• 12:03
  asked
• 12:03
  to
• 12:03
  come
• 12:03
  in,
• 12:04
  maybe
• 12:04
  they
• 12:04
  need
• 12:04
  to
• 12:05
  borrow
• 12:05
  some
• 12:05
  mascara.
• 12:05
  Great.
• 12:06
  But
• 12:06
  they
• 12:06
  ask,
• 12:07
  and
• 12:07
  then
• 12:08
  I
• 12:08
  decide
• 12:08
  whether
• 12:09
  I'm
• 12:09
  comfortable
• 12:09
  with
• 12:09
  that.
• 12:10
  What
• 12:10
  boundaries
• 12:11
  do
• 12:11
  you
• 12:11
  have
• 12:12
  in
• 12:12
  your
• 12:12
  life
• 12:12
  that
• 12:12
  you
• 12:12
  are.
• 12:13
  Consistently
• 12:14
  allowing
• 12:15
  people
• 12:15
  to
• 12:15
  trample.
• 12:17
  This
• 12:17
  is
• 12:17
  a
• 12:17
  hard
• 12:17
  question.
• 12:19
  A
• 12:19
  few
• 12:19
  ideas
• 12:20
  that
• 12:20
  I
• 12:20
  like
• 12:20
  to
• 12:21
  share
• 12:21
  with
• 12:21
  moms
• 12:21
  who
• 12:22
  maybe
• 12:22
  haven't
• 12:23
  fully
• 12:23
  embraced.
• 12:24
  This
• 12:24
  idea
• 12:24
  of
• 12:24
  boundaries
• 12:25
  are
• 12:25
  basic
• 12:25
  self
• 12:26
  care.
• 12:26
  Are
• 12:26
  you
• 12:26
  taking
• 12:27
  time
• 12:27
  to
• 12:27
  go
• 12:27
  to
• 12:27
  the
• 12:27
  bathroom
• 12:27
  by
• 12:28
  yourself?
• 12:29
  Are
• 12:29
  you
• 12:29
  taking
• 12:30
  time
• 12:30
  to
• 12:30
  shower
• 12:31
  by
• 12:31
  yourself?
• 12:31
  Again,
• 12:32
  if
• 12:32
  you're
• 12:32
  a
• 12:32
  mom
• 12:32
  of
• 12:33
  little
• 12:33
  kids,
• 12:33
  we
• 12:33
  do
• 12:33
  the
• 12:33
  best
• 12:34
  we
• 12:34
  can.
• 12:34
  But
• 12:35
  you
• 12:36
  have
• 12:36
  the
• 12:36
  right
• 12:37
  to
• 12:37
  ask
• 12:38
  someone
• 12:38
  to
• 12:38
  not
• 12:38
  touch
• 12:39
  you.
• 12:41
  If
• 12:41
  it's
• 12:41
  a
• 12:41
  three-year-old
• 12:42
  you
• 12:42
  might
• 12:42
  have
• 12:42
  to
• 12:42
  say,
• 12:42
  oh,
• 12:42
  it's
• 12:42
  quiet
• 12:43
  time
• 12:43
  right
• 12:43
  now.
• 12:43
  You're
• 12:43
  going
• 12:43
  to
• 12:43
  have
• 12:44
  quiet
• 12:44
  time
• 12:44
  in
• 12:44
  your
• 12:44
  room.
• 12:44
  And
• 12:45
  I'm
• 12:45
  gonna
• 12:45
  have
• 12:45
  quiet
• 12:45
  time
• 12:45
  in
• 12:45
  mommy's
• 12:46
  room
• 12:46
  because
• 12:46
  mommy
• 12:47
  needs
• 12:47
  to
• 12:47
  not
• 12:47
  be
• 12:47
  touched
• 12:48
  right
• 12:48
  now.
• 12:49
  Do
• 12:50
  you
• 12:50
  need
• 12:51
  time
• 12:51
  alone?
• 12:53
  Do
• 12:53
  you
• 12:53
  need
• 12:53
  time
• 12:54
  with
• 12:54
  friends?
• 12:55
  would
• 12:55
  you
• 12:55
  like
• 12:56
  a
• 12:56
  space
• 12:56
  in
• 12:56
  your
• 12:56
  home
• 12:57
  to
• 12:57
  be
• 12:57
  off
• 12:57
  limits
• 12:58
  to
• 12:58
  children?
• 12:58
  Did
• 12:58
  you
• 12:58
  know
• 12:58
  that's
• 12:59
  allowed.
• 13:00
  You
• 13:00
  can
• 13:00
  say,
• 13:00
  kids
• 13:00
  are
• 13:00
  not
• 13:00
  allowed
• 13:01
  in
• 13:01
  your
• 13:01
  bathroom.
• 13:02
  You
• 13:02
  might
• 13:02
  have
• 13:03
  to
• 13:03
  install
• 13:03
  some
• 13:03
  locks.
• 13:04
  You
• 13:05
  know,
• 13:05
  I
• 13:05
  had
• 13:06
  a
• 13:06
  friend
• 13:06
  that
• 13:06
  I
• 13:07
  really
• 13:07
  admired
• 13:07
  growing
• 13:07
  up
• 13:08
  whose
• 13:08
  mom
• 13:08
  did
• 13:08
  not
• 13:08
  allow
• 13:09
  her
• 13:09
  children
• 13:09
  in
• 13:10
  the
• 13:10
  front
• 13:10
  room.
• 13:10
  That's
• 13:10
  where
• 13:11
  all
• 13:11
  her
• 13:11
  breakables
• 13:11
  were.
• 13:11
  She
• 13:12
  had
• 13:12
  really
• 13:12
  pretty
• 13:12
  breakable
• 13:13
  collections,
• 13:13
  some
• 13:14
  pottery
• 13:14
  and
• 13:14
  things,
• 13:14
  and
• 13:15
  the
• 13:15
  kids
• 13:15
  were
• 13:15
  not
• 13:15
  allowed
• 13:15
  in
• 13:15
  there.
• 13:16
  And
• 13:16
  if
• 13:16
  they
• 13:17
  ever
• 13:17
  ran
• 13:17
  in,
• 13:17
  there
• 13:18
  was
• 13:18
  a
• 13:18
  consequence.
• 13:18
  So
• 13:19
  I'm
• 13:19
  just
• 13:19
  saying,
• 13:19
  ask
• 13:20
  yourself
• 13:20
  what
• 13:20
  you
• 13:21
  need
• 13:21
  and
• 13:21
  create
• 13:22
  the
• 13:22
  boundaries
• 13:22
  around
• 13:23
  that
• 13:24
  I
• 13:24
  see
• 13:24
  mom's
• 13:25
  a
• 13:25
  faith
• 13:25
  struggle
• 13:26
  with
• 13:26
  this.
• 13:26
  A
• 13:27
  lot.
• 13:28
  But
• 13:28
  you
• 13:28
  need
• 13:28
  to
• 13:28
  think
• 13:28
  of
• 13:28
  the
• 13:28
  boundaries
• 13:29
  in
• 13:29
  your
• 13:29
  life,
• 13:29
  almost
• 13:30
  like
• 13:30
  you
• 13:30
  would
• 13:30
  offense
• 13:31
  around
• 13:31
  your
• 13:31
  house.
• 13:32
  So,
• 13:32
  do
• 13:33
  you
• 13:33
  think
• 13:33
  that
• 13:33
  having
• 13:33
  a
• 13:33
  fence
• 13:34
  is
• 13:34
  mean
• 13:35
  to
• 13:35
  your
• 13:35
  neighbors?
• 13:36
  Do
• 13:36
  you
• 13:36
  think
• 13:36
  that's
• 13:37
  disrespectful?
• 13:38
  No,
• 13:38
  of
• 13:38
  course
• 13:38
  not.
• 13:39
  Offense
• 13:39
  is
• 13:39
  useful,
• 13:40
  right?
• 13:40
  It
• 13:40
  just
• 13:41
  delineates.
• 13:41
  What
• 13:42
  is
• 13:42
  theirs
• 13:43
  and
• 13:43
  what
• 13:43
  is
• 13:43
  yours?
• 13:44
  It
• 13:44
  keeps
• 13:45
  your
• 13:45
  wild
• 13:45
  dog
• 13:46
  in
• 13:46
  side
• 13:47
  your
• 13:47
  yard
• 13:47
  and
• 13:47
  it
• 13:47
  keeps
• 13:47
  their
• 13:48
  kids
• 13:48
  out
• 13:48
  of
• 13:49
  your
• 13:49
  yard.
• 13:50
  It
• 13:50
  allows
• 13:50
  both
• 13:51
  people
• 13:51
  privacy.
• 13:52
  Right?
• 13:52
  You
• 13:52
  can
• 13:52
  go
• 13:52
  outside
• 13:53
  and
• 13:53
  your
• 13:53
  swimsuit
• 13:53
  and
• 13:53
  your
• 13:53
  neighbors
• 13:54
  probably
• 13:54
  won't
• 13:54
  be
• 13:54
  peering
• 13:54
  at
• 13:54
  you.
• 13:54
  Hopefully.
• 13:56
  And
• 13:56
  it
• 13:56
  fosters
• 13:56
  love
• 13:57
  and
• 13:57
  respect
• 13:57
  for
• 13:57
  the
• 13:58
  people
• 13:58
  that
• 13:58
  you
• 13:58
  share.
• 14:00
  A
• 14:00
  little
• 14:00
  bit
• 14:00
  of
• 14:01
  land
• 14:01
  with
• 14:02
  Those
• 14:02
  fences,
• 14:02
  those
• 14:03
  boundaries
• 14:03
  are
• 14:03
  really
• 14:03
  important.
• 14:05
  Now
• 14:05
  here's
• 14:05
  a
• 14:05
  pro
• 14:05
  tip
• 14:06
  about
• 14:06
  boundaries.
• 14:07
  If
• 14:07
  you
• 14:07
  are
• 14:07
  feeling
• 14:08
  resentment
• 14:09
  in
• 14:09
  any
• 14:09
  area
• 14:09
  of
• 14:09
  your
• 14:10
  life,
• 14:10
  especially
• 14:10
  towards
• 14:10
  another
• 14:11
  person.
• 14:11
  It
• 14:12
  probably
• 14:12
  means
• 14:13
  that
• 14:13
  you
• 14:13
  are
• 14:13
  allowing
• 14:14
  a
• 14:14
  boundary
• 14:14
  to
• 14:15
  be
• 14:15
  crossed.
• 14:16
  And
• 14:16
  let
• 14:17
  me
• 14:17
  plead
• 14:18
  of
• 14:18
  you
• 14:18
  do
• 14:18
  not
• 14:19
  do
• 14:19
  this
• 14:20
  in
• 14:20
  the
• 14:20
  name
• 14:20
  of
• 14:20
  Christianity.
• 14:21
  It
• 14:21
  is
• 14:22
  not
• 14:22
  self
• 14:22
  sacrificing
• 14:23
  and
• 14:23
  Christ-like
• 14:24
  to
• 14:24
  let
• 14:24
  people
• 14:24
  walk
• 14:24
  all
• 14:25
  over
• 14:25
  you.
• 14:25
  It
• 14:25
  is
• 14:26
  just
• 14:26
  not,
• 14:26
  it
• 14:26
  is
• 14:26
  the
• 14:27
  opposite
• 14:27
  of
• 14:27
  that.
• 14:28
  What
• 14:28
  it
• 14:28
  is.
• 14:29
  Is
• 14:30
  it
• 14:30
  saves
• 14:30
  us
• 14:30
  from
• 14:31
  the
• 14:31
  discomfort
• 14:31
  of
• 14:31
  creating
• 14:32
  and
• 14:32
  maintaining
• 14:33
  that
• 14:33
  boundary
• 14:33
  because
• 14:34
  that
• 14:34
  is
• 14:34
  uncomfortable.
• 14:34
  Sometimes.
• 14:35
  Have
• 14:36
  you
• 14:36
  ever
• 14:36
  had
• 14:36
  someone
• 14:36
  in
• 14:36
  your
• 14:36
  life
• 14:37
  who
• 14:37
  just
• 14:37
  walked
• 14:37
  in
• 14:37
  on
• 14:37
  announced
• 14:38
  at
• 14:38
  your
• 14:38
  house?
• 14:39
  You
• 14:39
  probably
• 14:39
  at
• 14:40
  some
• 14:40
  point
• 14:40
  had
• 14:40
  to
• 14:40
  say,
• 14:40
  Hey,
• 14:40
  you
• 14:40
  know
• 14:41
  what?
• 14:41
  I'm
• 14:41
  really
• 14:41
  uncomfortable
• 14:42
  with
• 14:42
  the
• 14:42
  fact
• 14:42
  that
• 14:42
  you
• 14:42
  just
• 14:42
  walk
• 14:43
  into
• 14:43
  my
• 14:43
  house
• 14:43
  on
• 14:43
  announced,
• 14:44
  this
• 14:44
  is
• 14:44
  my
• 14:44
  space.
• 14:45
  I'd
• 14:45
  really
• 14:45
  appreciate
• 14:46
  it.
• 14:46
  If
• 14:46
  you'd
• 14:46
  knock
• 14:46
  on
• 14:46
  the
• 14:46
  door,
• 14:47
  have
• 14:47
  you
• 14:47
  ever
• 14:47
  had
• 14:48
  a
• 14:48
  conversation
• 14:48
  like
• 14:48
  that?
• 14:49
  They
• 14:49
  can
• 14:49
  be
• 14:49
  uncomfortable.
• 14:50
  So
• 14:50
  ask
• 14:51
  yourself
• 14:51
  if
• 14:52
  you're
• 14:52
  feeling
• 14:52
  resentment,
• 14:53
  is
• 14:53
  it
• 14:53
  because
• 14:53
  you
• 14:54
  do
• 14:54
  not
• 14:54
  have
• 14:54
  the
• 14:54
  courage?
• 14:55
  To
• 14:55
  stand
• 14:56
  up
• 14:56
  and
• 14:56
  say,
• 14:57
  this
• 14:57
  is
• 14:57
  a
• 14:57
  boundary
• 14:58
  of
• 14:58
  mine,
• 14:58
  and
• 14:58
  I'm
• 14:58
  going
• 14:58
  to
• 14:58
  ask
• 14:59
  you
• 14:59
  not
• 14:59
  to
• 14:59
  cross
• 14:59
  it.
• 15:00
  When
• 15:00
  we
• 15:00
  try
• 15:01
  to
• 15:01
  save
• 15:01
  ourselves
• 15:01
  the
• 15:01
  discomfort
• 15:02
  from
• 15:02
  creating
• 15:02
  a
• 15:02
  maintaining
• 15:03
  these
• 15:03
  boundaries,
• 15:04
  it
• 15:04
  will
• 15:04
  backfire,
• 15:05
  We
• 15:05
  think
• 15:05
  we're
• 15:06
  doing
• 15:06
  something
• 15:06
  loving
• 15:07
  by
• 15:07
  allowing
• 15:08
  someone
• 15:08
  to
• 15:08
  do
• 15:08
  something
• 15:09
  they
• 15:09
  want,
• 15:09
  even
• 15:09
  if
• 15:09
  we
• 15:09
  don't
• 15:10
  love
• 15:10
  it.
• 15:11
  But
• 15:11
  in
• 15:11
  the
• 15:11
  end,
• 15:11
  it
• 15:12
  brings
• 15:12
  up
• 15:12
  resentment.
• 15:13
  It
• 15:13
  brings
• 15:13
  up
• 15:13
  frustration.
• 15:14
  It
• 15:14
  brings
• 15:14
  up
• 15:14
  really
• 15:14
  nasty
• 15:15
  feelings
• 15:15
  towards
• 15:15
  this
• 15:15
  person
• 15:16
  because
• 15:16
  our
• 15:16
  boundaries
• 15:17
  are
• 15:17
  getting
• 15:17
  trampled
• 15:18
  on.
• 15:18
  So.
• 15:20
  Trust
• 15:20
  yourself
• 15:21
  to
• 15:21
  hold
• 15:22
  your
• 15:22
  boundaries
• 15:23
  And
• 15:23
  to
• 15:24
  maintain
• 15:24
  the
• 15:24
  separation
• 15:25
  you
• 15:25
  need
• 15:25
  between
• 15:26
  yourself
• 15:27
  and
• 15:27
  other
• 15:27
  people.
• 15:28
  Okay.
• 15:31
  Now
• 15:31
  number
• 15:32
  three,
• 15:32
  the
• 15:32
  third
• 15:32
  way
• 15:32
  to
• 15:33
  learn
• 15:33
  to
• 15:33
  trust
• 15:33
  yourself.
• 15:34
  Is
• 15:34
  by
• 15:35
  honoring
• 15:35
  your
• 15:36
  deeply
• 15:36
  held
• 15:37
  values
• 15:38
  and
• 15:38
  beliefs.
• 15:39
  There
• 15:40
  was
• 15:40
  a
• 15:40
  time
• 15:40
  in
• 15:41
  my
• 15:41
  youth
• 15:42
  when
• 15:42
  I
• 15:42
  didn't
• 15:42
  always
• 15:43
  trust
• 15:43
  how
• 15:43
  I
• 15:43
  would
• 15:43
  act
• 15:44
  around
• 15:44
  certain
• 15:44
  people.
• 15:45
  I
• 15:45
  had
• 15:45
  certain
• 15:45
  groups
• 15:45
  of
• 15:45
  friends
• 15:46
  who
• 15:46
  did
• 15:47
  not
• 15:47
  act
• 15:47
  in
• 15:47
  keeping
• 15:47
  with
• 15:48
  my
• 15:48
  values
• 15:48
  and
• 15:48
  beliefs.
• 15:49
  And
• 15:49
  so
• 15:49
  I
• 15:49
  learned
• 15:50
  quickly
• 15:50
  that
• 15:51
  very
• 15:51
  often
• 15:51
  I
• 15:51
  was
• 15:51
  tempted
• 15:52
  to
• 15:52
  act
• 15:52
  like
• 15:53
  they
• 15:53
  acted
• 15:53
  when
• 15:53
  I
• 15:53
  was
• 15:53
  around
• 15:54
  them.
• 15:54
  And
• 15:54
  I
• 15:54
  was
• 15:54
  really
• 15:54
  disappointed
• 15:55
  in
• 15:55
  myself.
• 15:56
  It
• 15:56
  was
• 15:56
  hard
• 15:57
  for
• 15:57
  me
• 15:57
  to
• 15:57
  act
• 15:57
  with
• 15:57
  integrity
• 15:58
  because
• 15:59
  of
• 15:59
  these
• 15:59
  temptations.
• 16:00
  And
• 16:00
  then
• 16:00
  I
• 16:00
  beat
• 16:00
  myself
• 16:01
  up
• 16:01
  for
• 16:01
  it.
• 16:02
  So
• 16:02
  here's
• 16:02
  my
• 16:02
  question
• 16:03
  for
• 16:03
  you
• 16:03
  now.
• 16:04
  Are
• 16:04
  there
• 16:04
  areas
• 16:05
  in
• 16:05
  your
• 16:05
  life
• 16:05
  where
• 16:06
  you're
• 16:06
  not
• 16:06
  feeling
• 16:06
  like
• 16:07
  a
• 16:07
  loyal
• 16:07
  follower
• 16:08
  of
• 16:08
  Christ.
• 16:08
  Is
• 16:09
  there
• 16:09
  an
• 16:09
  area
• 16:09
  where
• 16:09
  you
• 16:10
  would
• 16:10
  like
• 16:10
  to
• 16:10
  stand
• 16:10
  up
• 16:11
  for
• 16:11
  your
• 16:11
  values
• 16:11
  and
• 16:11
  beliefs?
• 16:12
  But
• 16:13
  you're
• 16:13
  feeling
• 16:13
  a
• 16:13
  little
• 16:13
  bit.
• 16:14
  Self-conscious
• 16:15
  about
• 16:15
  it
• 16:16
  a
• 16:16
  little
• 16:16
  bit
• 16:16
  nervous.
• 16:17
  Maybe
• 16:17
  you
• 16:17
  struggle
• 16:18
  with
• 16:18
  gossip,
• 16:18
  that's
• 16:19
  a
• 16:19
  hard
• 16:19
  one
• 16:19
  or
• 16:20
  bad
• 16:20
  language,
• 16:21
  or
• 16:21
  maybe
• 16:21
  the
• 16:21
  media
• 16:22
  you
• 16:22
  consume.
• 16:22
  You
• 16:22
  don't
• 16:23
  love.
• 16:23
  Or
• 16:24
  maybe
• 16:24
  there's
• 16:24
  other
• 16:24
  behaviors
• 16:25
  that
• 16:25
  cause
• 16:25
  you
• 16:25
  guilt
• 16:26
  because
• 16:26
  you
• 16:26
  know,
• 16:26
  they're
• 16:26
  not
• 16:27
  in
• 16:27
  keeping
• 16:27
  with
• 16:27
  the
• 16:27
  beliefs
• 16:28
  that
• 16:28
  you
• 16:28
  hold
• 16:28
  dear.
• 16:30
  First
• 16:30
  of
• 16:30
  all,
• 16:31
  we
• 16:31
  always
• 16:31
  acknowledge
• 16:32
  that
• 16:32
  we're
• 16:32
  human.
• 16:33
  And
• 16:33
  that
• 16:33
  mistakes
• 16:33
  are
• 16:33
  a
• 16:33
  part
• 16:34
  of
• 16:34
  the
• 16:34
  game.
• 16:34
  Nothing
• 16:35
  has
• 16:35
  gone
• 16:35
  wrong
• 16:35
  here.
• 16:36
  We're
• 16:36
  all
• 16:36
  supposed
• 16:37
  to
• 16:37
  make
• 16:37
  mistakes.
• 16:37
  We
• 16:38
  are.
• 16:38
  But
• 16:38
  we're
• 16:38
  not
• 16:39
  supposed
• 16:39
  to
• 16:39
  justify
• 16:39
  them.
• 16:40
  Once
• 16:40
  we
• 16:40
  acknowledge
• 16:41
  that
• 16:41
  it's
• 16:41
  a
• 16:41
  mistake
• 16:42
  or
• 16:42
  sin,
• 16:42
  we
• 16:43
  own
• 16:43
  up
• 16:43
  to
• 16:44
  it.
• 16:44
  We
• 16:44
  take
• 16:45
  accountability
• 16:46
  and
• 16:46
  we
• 16:46
  ask
• 16:46
  ourselves
• 16:47
  what
• 16:47
  is
• 16:47
  happening
• 16:47
  here?
• 16:48
  Why
• 16:48
  am
• 16:48
  I
• 16:48
  struggling
• 16:49
  with
• 16:49
  this?
• 16:49
  How
• 16:50
  can
• 16:50
  I
• 16:50
  be
• 16:50
  better?
• 16:51
  I
• 16:51
  firmly
• 16:52
  believe
• 16:52
  that
• 16:52
  having
• 16:53
  integrity,
• 16:53
  which
• 16:53
  means
• 16:54
  our
• 16:54
  behavior
• 16:55
  lines
• 16:56
  up
• 16:56
  with
• 16:56
  our
• 16:56
  beliefs.
• 16:57
  Is
• 16:58
  the
• 16:58
  number
• 16:58
  one
• 16:58
  way
• 16:59
  to
• 16:59
  foster
• 16:59
  trust
• 17:00
  with
• 17:01
  ourselves
• 17:02
  and
• 17:02
  with
• 17:02
  others.
• 17:03
  In
• 17:03
  fact,
• 17:03
  what
• 17:03
  I've
• 17:03
  noticed
• 17:04
  is
• 17:04
  that
• 17:04
  the
• 17:04
  people
• 17:04
  I
• 17:05
  trust
• 17:05
  the
• 17:05
  most
• 17:06
  are
• 17:06
  the
• 17:06
  ones
• 17:06
  whose
• 17:07
  behavior
• 17:07
  is
• 17:07
  the
• 17:08
  most
• 17:08
  predictable.
• 17:09
  I
• 17:10
  always
• 17:10
  know
• 17:10
  how
• 17:11
  they're
• 17:11
  going
• 17:11
  to
• 17:11
  act,
• 17:12
  what
• 17:12
  they're
• 17:12
  going
• 17:12
  to
• 17:12
  say,
• 17:13
  you
• 17:13
  know,
• 17:13
  to
• 17:14
  a
• 17:14
  certain
• 17:14
  extent.
• 17:14
  Because
• 17:15
  it's
• 17:15
  always
• 17:16
  in
• 17:16
  alignment
• 17:16
  with
• 17:17
  their
• 17:17
  beliefs.
• 17:18
  How
• 17:18
  powerful
• 17:18
  is
• 17:18
  that?
• 17:19
  What
• 17:19
  if
• 17:19
  every
• 17:20
  time
• 17:20
  someone
• 17:20
  came
• 17:20
  to
• 17:20
  tell
• 17:21
  you
• 17:21
  something
• 17:21
  that
• 17:21
  was
• 17:21
  important
• 17:22
  to
• 17:22
  them,
• 17:22
  they
• 17:22
  knew
• 17:22
  how
• 17:22
  you
• 17:22
  would
• 17:23
  act.
• 17:23
  They
• 17:23
  knew
• 17:23
  that
• 17:24
  you
• 17:24
  would
• 17:24
  trust
• 17:25
  their
• 17:25
  confidence.
• 17:26
  They
• 17:26
  knew
• 17:26
  that
• 17:26
  you
• 17:27
  would
• 17:27
  answer
• 17:27
  with
• 17:28
  empathy
• 17:28
  and
• 17:29
  concern,
• 17:29
  and
• 17:29
  they
• 17:29
  knew
• 17:30
  that
• 17:30
  you
• 17:30
  would
• 17:30
  love
• 17:31
  them
• 17:31
  unconditionally.
• 17:32
  What,
• 17:32
  if
• 17:32
  you
• 17:32
  could
• 17:33
  do
• 17:33
  that
• 17:33
  for
• 17:33
  yourself?
• 17:34
  Pretty
• 17:35
  amazing.
• 17:36
  Now
• 17:36
  this
• 17:36
  step
• 17:36
  is
• 17:36
  actually
• 17:37
  similar
• 17:37
  to
• 17:37
  step
• 17:37
  number
• 17:38
  one,
• 17:38
  that
• 17:38
  of
• 17:38
  honoring
• 17:39
  commitments
• 17:39
  to
• 17:39
  ourselves,
• 17:40
  except
• 17:40
  here
• 17:40
  we're
• 17:40
  honoring
• 17:41
  the
• 17:41
  commitments
• 17:41
  we've
• 17:41
  made
• 17:42
  to
• 17:42
  God.
• 17:43
  We
• 17:43
  need
• 17:43
  to
• 17:43
  own
• 17:44
  up
• 17:44
  to
• 17:44
  our
• 17:44
  mistakes.
• 17:45
  Apologize
• 17:46
  for
• 17:46
  them
• 17:46
  were
• 17:46
  necessary.
• 17:47
  And
• 17:47
  men
• 17:48
  commit
• 17:48
  to
• 17:49
  shining
• 17:49
  brightly
• 17:50
  for
• 17:50
  everyone
• 17:50
  to
• 17:50
  see.
• 17:51
  It's
• 17:52
  not
• 17:52
  perfection
• 17:52
  that
• 17:52
  we're
• 17:52
  after
• 17:53
  it's
• 17:53
  constant
• 17:54
  improvement
• 17:55
  and
• 17:55
  people
• 17:55
  who
• 17:55
  are
• 17:55
  watching
• 17:56
  us
• 17:56
  will
• 17:56
  notice
• 17:57
  when
• 17:57
  we
• 17:57
  make
• 17:57
  mistakes
• 17:58
  that
• 17:58
  we
• 17:58
  own
• 17:58
  up
• 17:59
  to
• 17:59
  them.
• 18:00
  Friends.
• 18:00
  I
• 18:00
  just
• 18:00
  have
• 18:00
  to
• 18:00
  say
• 18:01
  that
• 18:01
  I
• 18:01
  trust
• 18:01
  you
• 18:02
  if
• 18:02
  you're
• 18:02
  here
• 18:02
  and
• 18:02
  you're
• 18:02
  listening
• 18:03
  to
• 18:03
  this
• 18:03
  and
• 18:03
  you
• 18:03
  want
• 18:03
  to
• 18:04
  build
• 18:04
  something
• 18:04
  amazing
• 18:04
  Because
• 18:05
  you're
• 18:05
  feeling
• 18:05
  called
• 18:05
  to
• 18:05
  do
• 18:06
  so.
• 18:06
  I
• 18:06
  trust
• 18:07
  you
• 18:07
  to
• 18:07
  do
• 18:07
  that.
• 18:08
  This
• 18:08
  is
• 18:08
  some
• 18:08
  hard
• 18:09
  stuff,
• 18:09
  but
• 18:09
  it
• 18:09
  is
• 18:10
  worthwhile
• 18:10
  developing
• 18:11
  that
• 18:11
  integrity,
• 18:12
  developing
• 18:12
  that
• 18:12
  trust
• 18:13
  for
• 18:13
  ourselves
• 18:13
  and
• 18:13
  knowing
• 18:14
  that
• 18:14
  when
• 18:14
  we
• 18:14
  commit,
• 18:15
  we
• 18:15
  will
• 18:15
  show
• 18:15
  up.
• 18:16
  I
• 18:17
  know
• 18:17
  that
• 18:17
  I
• 18:17
  personally
• 18:17
  would
• 18:17
  never
• 18:18
  go
• 18:18
  into
• 18:18
  business
• 18:19
  with
• 18:19
  a
• 18:19
  partner
• 18:20
  that
• 18:20
  I
• 18:20
  didn't
• 18:20
  trust.
• 18:21
  So
• 18:21
  give
• 18:22
  yourself
• 18:23
  the
• 18:23
  gift
• 18:23
  of
• 18:24
  a
• 18:24
  business
• 18:24
  partner
• 18:24
  who
• 18:24
  is
• 18:24
  trustworthy.
• 18:26
  One
• 18:26
  who
• 18:26
  honors
• 18:26
  their
• 18:27
  commitments,
• 18:27
  who
• 18:28
  respects
• 18:28
  boundaries.
• 18:29
  And
• 18:30
  who
• 18:30
  stands
• 18:30
  up
• 18:30
  for
• 18:31
  their
• 18:31
  beliefs.
• 18:32
  In
• 18:32
  other
• 18:32
  words,
• 18:32
  you
• 18:33
  all
• 18:33
  right,
• 18:33
  friends,
• 18:34
  I'll
• 18:34
  talk
• 18:34
  to
• 18:34
  you
• 18:34
  next
• 18:34
  week.