Latest / DA CREW Podcast / SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST_EPISODE _72_ HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS

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SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST_EPISODE _72_ HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS · DA CREW Podcast

0:06
Hey, and welcome to another episode of the past. I am your visionary
0:11
Queen Angela. And if you are a diva that's looking to amplify your voice
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and you're looking for a whole, we have faith for you. Come on
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over and join Gim Diva up yeahway and amplify your voice. Oh, pursing
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nurses, All things at what they used to Where has all the blue sky's
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foot boys miss the blues from the north? Something well, persons, all
0:55
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in the most meaningful and impactful ways. We look forward to putting you on
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the path to writing your book. I can sweet, Sweet, Sweet,
2:07
no sweet, sweet sweet straight, no good and welcome to believe in the
3:00
Journey Podcast where I am your host, Trevita Harris, and I have a
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wonderful friend and sister that is coming to share her testimony. She is a
3:09
student of God's grace. Her name is Miss Latonia LaToya, Little Latona Jackson.
3:16
Lord Jesus, let me get this child's name right. It is LaToya
3:21
Jackson. Y'all, please forgive me. But before we do anything, we
3:25
have to go to God in prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for
3:29
bringing us together tonight as you do each and every time we are in front
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of you. Let the words of my mouth meditate on the ears that are
3:36
listening tonight. Help me to be able to keep my voice. And I
3:39
do not scare anyone away with this cough. That I have everything that Miss
3:45
LaToya is going to share about her journey. It has been because of you.
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You have spared her in so many situations. And I know that there
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is someone out there listening tonight that will be able to take what you have
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done for her, and that you can do it for anybody if they just
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come to you and be still in your presence and your grace and your precious
4:06
and holy name, Jesus. I pray. But before I bring Miss LaToya
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up, let me just give you a little bit about her background. She
4:15
is a high school teacher at greg Mathis Charter High School. She has been
4:19
teaching there for the last year. As an ajuity coordinator. She works closely
4:25
with students who are online and students who are on campus. Her big time
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career goals is to demonstrate allow kids to have a positive outlook and become productive
4:39
citizens around the world. Another goal that she has for herself is to operate
4:45
in a safe space for teens who are dealing with crisis. She is a
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mother of two, a grandmother of five, and she also is a foster
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parent. So when I tell you, this lady wears many hats. She's
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also a member of the East Star affiliation. She has a passion for working
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with young people. She also has a nonprofit organization for African American girls and
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it is called She United Too. She is a survivor of breast and brain
5:17
cancer. She is also a survivor of dealing with COVID nineteen. So when
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I tell you this woman has a story to share, she has a story
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to tell please bring up my guests missus. LaToya Jackson. So my name
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is LaToya Jackson, and like if you just stated that I am a foster
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parent and my ultimate goal is to actually Wendy have my own facility, not
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a facility, but a home for kids and teens that have left homar it's
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the homelesst are in the street. My journey started in twenty fifteen when I
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got diagnosed with brain cancer. I was actually at work one day and was
6:04
having severe headaches, not knowing it was just severe headaches. My supervisor told
6:12
me at that time that I came in her office and I told her I
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had a really bad headache. That was the last thing that I remembered,
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and I found that I was in stage three of brain cancer. Moving past
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that, I recovered from having the brain cancer, then having congested heart failure
6:30
four years later, having congested heart fear from going into getting my degree in
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nursing. Found out that I had congestut hot fear when I was going to
6:40
get my CNA certificate. Fast forward after that got better, then finding out
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after having severe congested hot fear, also found that I had lupus. That
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was something that I never knew that I had lupus until I ended up being
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diagnosed with severe and cop C CDPHD, which guess so a COPD Condenson Hart
7:08
fair with my loops, so that caused my lungs to actually require more oxygen
7:15
than normal my body, so my body doesn't actually hold enough oxygen, so
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I have have to use an oxygen tank at times, but I don't take
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it, but now I do so twenty I lost my mom, brother,
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and sister back to back, back to back. The senior year YEP.
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The same year contracted CoolWick from my foster daughter. I was on an a
7:45
ventilator for two months. From that two months, I lost my ability of
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thinking. So after losing my ability to think, I didn't even know who
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I was. I was told a lot of things now that have during the
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time when I was on a vent leator. After having being taken off the
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ventilator, I had to go to rehab, I had a stroke and rehab.
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So from having a stroke and rehab, I left the right side of
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my brain paralyzed. So now that I have a disorder called conversion disorder where
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my brain just sheds down. From having COVID and having COVID. I had
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a stroke in rehab. I didn't even know I had a stroke until the
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doctor came into the room and he told me that I had a stroke.
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And before I went to rehab, I was in ICU. I was laying
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in the bathe and my eyes was open, but I couldn't get out of
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the bath. So there was this lady and this man that came into my
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room. And this is broad daylight, because I could have seen the light
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coming inside of my room from the outside where my room was, I could
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see the outside. The lady and the man came into my room and both
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of them had on like a polot hat and they had on like a Blue
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flight attendant jumpsuit. I couldn't see the man's face, but I could have
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seen the lady face. The man's face was like completely covered, like shadowed
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over, so I couldn't see his face. I know he had a beard.
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He had like a tackle box in his hand. He sat to the
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front of my bed. So the nurse came around and she said, miss
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Jackson, do you know where you are? And I said yeah, I
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said, I'm in the hospital. So I said, well, wait a
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minute, I have to go get something. So it seems like I left
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out the bed, ran to go get something from one of my grandkids,
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and I came back to the bed. When I came back to the bed,
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there was a nurse coming down the hallway. So when I turned over
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to my left, I could have seen like a white hallway and it was
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this nurse coming this one. It was one nurse, and I could have
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hear nimes calling over the intercom, but I can recognize who names they were
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calling at the time. So when the nurse came by my door, she
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paused. She just stood there and then she turned and she looked at me.
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She never waved or nothing. Then she turned back around and then she
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kept on walking. So the individual that the lady that was on the other
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side of the bed, she said, women, Jackson, we won't be
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needing you again. So I said, okay. So the lady walked around
10:28
back around the bed like they were walking out of the room. The gentleman
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got up with the tackle box. He never said anything, he didn't say
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bye, hello, nothing, and he left out of the room. So
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when my nurse that was sitting outside of my room, she came inside and
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she was saying as Jackson, we got to take your bidos and some other
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things. So I had like a pad that I could write, but because
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they had me intubated, so I couldn't really talk, I could write and
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then I was writing like who is that? And she was like who is
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who? And I was like the people in my room? She said,
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there's no people in the room. So at that time they told me that
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I was hallucinating, which I know I wasn't I know what I saw.
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So she said with Jackson, we were saying I was sitting outside the door
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the whole time. I didn't see anybody leaving out your room. So I
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said, okay, So they told me that I at that time, they
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had to give me something to actually put me back to sleep. So they
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put me back to sleep. So I was out for like a day and
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another day, so I was out actually two days. They put me out
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to sleep. So from my understanding, they did some brain scan texts on
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my brain, so it showed that there was some kind of activity that happened
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around that time that the individual was inside in my room. But I'll never
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forget that because that was something that always stuck in with me, like I
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actually saw these individuals in my room, and that's something that nobody could ever
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take from me. So wanting to pay you a visit, and it wasn't
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your time, which is why you still got some work to do. Yep.
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Yeah, I always feel that, Yeah, and I always will think
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of that, and I think for me that everything that I've I've been through
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and be on an oxygen having Loupez. Having Then at twenty twenty, right
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when I after my mom and sister passed, I found out I was I
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was in the midst of stage two breast cancer. So I had to take
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seventeen rounds of radiation. Then I had to take chemotherapy. But I still
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maintained a job, even though heading back and forth to Columbia, I was
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driving up and down the road every day. Every morning. I would get
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up head the Columbia drive back every day back in to work. And then
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I started staying with one of my sorrows because it was a lot on me.
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So I said, you know what, I'm gonna just see with one
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of my sorrows up there. So from that point I knew I still wasn't
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ready. He still had some work on this earth for me to do.
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And I met That's when I met my pastor, Mary Washington Everett, and
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we became so close. And my faith and God has got even stronger with
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everything that I've been through following that my brother passed, so it was like
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doing it Kimo and then dealing with the death with my mom, brother and
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sister, and then my son being incarcerated for twenty four years, So that
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was like another baggage that I had to carry. So I would find things
13:50
and I would read my scripture every day. I would even though I couldn't
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drive. The doctor took away my ability to drive because I would lose consciousness
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from my heart. My heart wouldn't allow me to have enough oxygen on my
14:05
body for me to drive, so the doctor took my ability to drive.
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So I couldn't drive, but I was meeting my contact on over on Facebook.
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When my pastor she would teach a Bible study and I would be on
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the Bible study. And there were times that I wanted to go to church,
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but I know I couldn't go because I couldn't drive. So I taught
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myself every day this to back up out of my pocketing lot. Yeah,
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I did it, so every day I would get in my car at Criankeet
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and I would just drive around the circle and then come back and I said,
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tomorrow I'm gonna drive father. Tomorrow drive father. So every day I
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would drive father and father and father and tell the doctor. It was like,
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misje, Justine, how'd you get here? I said, I drew?
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She said what I said, Yeah, I drove. She said,
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well, where do you live? I said, live in West Ashley.
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She said, Missine, you're not supposed to be driving. I said,
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well, I said, I had God on the other side. He was
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talking to me when I was driving. Yeah, I drew, Yeah,
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I drew and yep. I would drive every day until I got father and
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father, and that one day I drew. I think I had I couldn't
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remember where I was, so I had to call somebody and I said,
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I think there was a police officer or somebody that actually found me. And
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I asked him. I was like, where am I? And they didn't
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know what was going on with me until I had to, Like, I
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got my phone. I was like, I got to call somebody. So
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I pushed the number and one of my family members answered and I said,
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I don't even know where I'm at, and That's how my sister she came
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and my brother didn't found found me where I was. I was actually in
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the Messenger's parking lot. And that was my thing. I'm knowing that I
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had the early stage of it wasn't dementia that they stated, but it was
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called conversion dis ordering. Your brain just sheds down because you're thinking about I
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need to get to this place. How am I going to get there?
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So your brain just just sheds down. But just to see, I don't
16:15
let nothing stop me, even with oxygen, even with a role leader.
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I would get my role leader and I would close my role leader up.
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I would put it in the back of the of my truck and I would
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go to the Walmart and I would be gone. And when my phone raims
16:33
everybody like where are you, well, I'm at Walmart? And at Walmart.
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So with the with just with the feet of God and knowing that you
16:45
have to change some things in your life that sometimes when you want to do
16:49
for everybody, you got to sit and you gotta think is this healthy enough
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for me to do or is it the good thing for me to do?
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And I also came with a vision board for myself, so did that vision
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board actually helped me further along who I wanted to be back as myself who
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I originally was. I was always this person doing for everybody, helping,
17:14
volunteering, and I knew there was things that I still wanted to maintain and
17:18
do for myself. But that vision board actually pushed me between the vision board
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and my pastor. That's what made me back who I am today. And
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I and I got off the oxygen even though I may need it at times,
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I just like lean against the wall and I said, yeah, yeah,
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I understand, And I'm laughing because with the you know, my story
17:47
of me driving myself to the hospital after having the stroke. So I can't
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understand how people are like, I know, you just didn't do this.
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Yeah I did because I had I needed. I wasn't leaving my car in
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one place and I was going to be in another. So that was part
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of the reason why I refused to get in the ambulance. But I understand
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being stubborn, being hard headed, being gold oriented, and knowing that you
18:17
still have things to do and as long as you allow God to lead,
18:21
you will get everywhere you need to go and all of the things that you
18:25
have been through have been a true testimony of your faith, your strength,
18:30
your courage, your determination, and everything into knowing who God created you to
18:36
be. And so it was not your time to go to do anything outside
18:42
of fulfilling the purpose that God has for you. So let me just ask
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a couple of questions. How were you feeling with getting the first diagnosis of
18:53
brain cancer? Because how old were you? I was actually thirty seven,
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No thirty five. I was thirty five when I got diagnosed. And the
19:07
wonderful thing about it was my boys never was a sham when because I lost
19:14
my hair and my boys would have to shower me because I was so weak
19:22
coming off of the Kimo and stuff, and they was like a couple of
19:26
times they had to help me in the shower, which I know they didn't
19:30
want to, but they helped me, and they knew that I was their
19:33
mom. But at first I think I was depressed, but I knew I
19:40
was that type of person that no matter if I was down, I still
19:42
was going to push and push and push. And I would weigh like the
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different scarves and the dew rags and things like that, and I would wear
19:53
like the different weights and stuff. But at the time when it happened,
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my hair was coming out in a pillow. It was just like when I
20:02
take a shower, it would just slide out. And I was like,
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dang, it must be some kind of medication I'm taking. But I always
20:07
have a bad headache. And I just don't understand how they never caught that
20:11
and it would did a cat skin until he did like a I had to
20:15
get the dye injected, and with the dye injected, I started having this
20:19
metallic taste, like, uh, it was like a metal taste in my
20:23
mouth. And I would tell them, I was like, I have this
20:27
metallic taste in my mouth. And that's when they said, oh, we
20:30
got to really dig deep. And when they found out it was like the
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cats already had spread to the right side of my face that it spread around
20:41
my eye sockets and then it spread around my mouth and it was like going
20:47
down towards my throat, so it was already affecting my face. That I
20:51
had to get like reconstruction of my mouth. And then I had to like
20:56
like every seven months, I got to get my eyeglasses changed out because of
21:02
me having loopus and affect the eye socket. And then with me having a
21:06
brain cancer. Yeah, and then it affected my eyesight. But I never
21:10
tell anybody my story. I keep it to myself because sometimes individuals me free
21:19
and may say, oh, you know how you're feeling the D. But
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you know what, God know how I feeling. God wakes me up every
21:26
morning. God, I'm gonna start you on your D. This is your
21:30
testimony for the DED. So every D is a different D, but it's
21:33
a living testimony that I can share with other people to know that just because
21:40
what you're going through, that's that's nothing complain to what I've I've been going
21:45
through. I've been driving and having an oxygen tank on, coming back and
21:49
forth up and down the road from Columbia. In the morning time. I
21:52
would be like five thirty every morning, I got my oxygen tank on,
21:56
got my music on, and I said, I don't of you with your
22:02
oxygen on, and we have and everything, so I know, but you
22:11
know, it's a wonderful thing. And I don't ever want you to be
22:15
in a position to where you feel shameful for telling your story or feeling like
22:21
nobody wants to hear it. The main thing about a testimony is being able
22:26
to be tested and to come out on the other side. So there's somebody
22:30
that's listening tonight who's probably going through stage three brain cancer and don't know who
22:37
to turn to, who to talk to, because they don't feel like somebody
22:41
else out there can relate to them. So being able to open up,
22:45
share your story, and no matter if you tell your story twenty seven times,
22:49
out of that twenty seven times, at least twenty people may have been
22:53
affected by something you said or shared with them. Because my thing is,
22:57
I will tell you when I got sick the second time and I lost my
23:03
speech and the whole left side of my body was twitching, and people would
23:08
always think that I was cold and shivering and things of that nature. Like
23:11
I was embarrassed, and I did not want to be out because I didn't
23:15
want people looking at me crazy. And you know, I happened to be
23:19
out with my oldest and we were at her preregistration for college at Klapland University,
23:27
and there would be times where if I was holding something, my hands
23:30
would just release it, and I was holding my daughter's folders and things of
23:37
that nature, and all of a sudden I dropped everything. It wasn't intentional,
23:41
because the feeling just left in my hand. And I remember my brother
23:47
laughing at me and he didn't understand, and I was like, it's really
23:52
not funny. I didn't drop these papers on purpose. It was just the
23:55
simple fact that my hand couldn't hold them anymore. And so those were things
23:59
that I had to learn how to deal with that. People were gonna laugh
24:03
but not knowing, but when they found out what the truth of it was,
24:07
they understood a little bit more. So now if my face is twitching
24:11
on this side, you gonna see it if this one decides to go non
24:17
whenever it decides to, because I have those residual effects of the stroke.
24:22
So my story is my story, but my testimony is what God did for
24:26
me. So always be in the space and ready to share what you've gone
24:30
through because somebody out there needs to know. The things that you have overcome
24:36
is one of those things where somebody is really sitting there thinking that this is
24:41
it. The things that you tell yourself. The way that you were able
24:45
to get to where you are now is because you prayed, You honestly had
24:51
a relationship with God. You knew what you wanted to do, and every
24:56
day you prayed for strength. Now when you praying for that strength, he
25:00
tests you to see how bad do you want what you're asking him for.
25:04
My thing was God, just give me, And this is something that I
25:08
say to myself. Now, God, I don't know what is going to
25:12
happen today, but I do know that you've given me an opportunity to walk
25:18
through this day. So whatever happens, let me be mindful enough to take
25:23
whatever it is that comes and understand that it's a lesson that's attached to it.
25:29
So prepare me for my day. Prepare me through this day. Because
25:33
if it's in your cards and it's in your will for me to see tomorrow,
25:38
then I shall take whatever comes today. That's what I say to myself
25:42
every morning. I don't know what's gonna happen. It's gonna be some things,
25:47
because you know, working in healthcare is one of those things. You
25:51
gonna seed some stuff, you gonna hear some stuff, and it's gonna be
25:56
like, Lord, this ain't what I ask for today, but it's on
26:00
the plate. So let me just go and take it how you give it.
26:06
But don't ever ever be afraid to share what you've gone through. That
26:11
is one reason why I wanted you on the show because I know the things
26:15
that you've gone through and people need to hear that because some people will easily
26:19
give up on what it is that they see as this is too much.
26:26
I can't bear this burden anymore. I don't know where I'm supposed to be
26:30
going, I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, but it's all
26:33
connected to the greater destiny that God has created you for. And you sharing
26:40
the COVID Like when we first had our very first conversation, you were telling
26:44
me about it and you didn't know if being part of a sorority was gonna
26:49
be for you because of what you were going through. And I told you,
26:53
then, don't worry about that, because what God has for you is
26:56
gonna be for you anyway, didn't matter what anybody else had to say about
27:02
and where you were supposed to be during that time was where you were supposed
27:04
to be, and it had nothing to do with anybody else. And that's
27:08
what I always led with with each and every woman that came in there.
27:11
If it's meant for you to be in this space and this time, you
27:15
will be here, and if you're not you won't. And you know,
27:18
and even with my space and my time, I knew what God had for
27:23
me, and I knew when it was time for me to leave. No
27:26
hard feelings, no heart issues, no ill will towards anybody. But when
27:32
you know what God has for you, you know when to step away.
27:36
And that's one of the things that I knew for myself. And it was
27:41
a wonderful experience. It was a wonderful time. But I knew when my
27:44
time was up with that was up, you know. So let me ask
27:51
you, has it been a motivating factor for you to be a mom and
27:57
a grandma and a foster parent is part of the driving force as to make
28:03
sure that you were still around to fulfill the purpose that God have for you.
28:08
Yeah, Because actually when I got out of rehab, and I still
28:17
wanted to be an impact on helping somebody, because I said, God sped
28:22
my life and He still had work on this earth for me to actually do.
28:27
And I remained to have to be a foster mark. Even with oxygen,
28:33
I had an oxygen tank in the house. I would like take my
28:34
cord all around the house and I would be up and down the stairs.
28:40
It took me almost about a year, about a year to get up and
28:45
down those stairs, because just to get up and down the stairs, it
28:48
took me, Like when I first got home, it took me almost an
28:52
hour to get up and down the stairs because I couldn't breathe even with the
28:55
oxygen because my heart was so inflame from being on an event. Later and
29:00
then with me having the stroke, I had to like learn how to walk
29:06
again, So that was another thing I had to learn how to walk.
29:11
But I think the kids that came into my home, they didn't look as
29:15
that disability as a stopping for them. They looked above that and they saw
29:22
the heart that I had to help them. And my kids still call me
29:26
up till today. All of my foster kids, they called and they call
29:30
me mom. Oh, they call me Miss Jackson. They called because they
29:34
knew what I instilled in them, because I always tell them, never let
29:40
your disability be your handicap. And I never let my disability be my handicap.
29:47
So I think as being and also being a mom and showing my boys
29:52
that you still can love people regardless of what you're going through. Mm hmm,
29:56
yeah, even what it looks like is your defeated. You're not Latania
30:02
says Amen, somebody is going to get the push they need from you,
30:06
and Miss Black Diamond says, Amen to your story, because there is somebody
30:11
out there really and truly needs to hear what you've overcome, because going through
30:18
some of that, even if you don't feel like you've had somebody close to
30:23
you or anything like that that is really going through it with you, because
30:29
sometimes I know you feel like you're alone, because I know I did because
30:33
I felt like nobody had been through what I had gone through. And plus
30:37
having a condition that nobody had even heard of that people can barely pronounce.
30:42
It was one of those things. And you don't look like what you're dealing
30:47
with, And I think that's another thing that makes it hard for people to
30:51
believe that you're You don't look like it. And a lot of people I
30:56
can say that when they say, God, you don't look like what you've
31:00
been through. That's God's grace and his mercy right there. Because there are
31:04
some people who wear every single hardship that they've ever been through, and when
31:11
they're wearing their hardships, you can truly believe because it's like seeing is believing,
31:17
and when you can see the drug addiction, you can see the alcoholism.
31:23
You can see a broken bone, you can see the scars of a
31:27
car accident, you can see the person who had to have their legs amputated.
31:33
You see all of that. But when it's an invisible condition, people
31:38
tend to not understand that you're actually going through what you're going through. Even
31:45
when people are fighting cancer. Like my boss, she was going through breast
31:52
cancer last year, but you wouldn't know that she was going through all of
31:56
that because she really and truly did not look like she was going through any
32:00
of that. She showed up to or work every single day. And one
32:05
thing that I tell her all the time, you still have a testimony that
32:07
you need to share with people too, because you didn't look like what you
32:12
were going through. But what you were going through was hard. But you
32:15
got up every day, you put your clothes on, and you put one
32:17
foot in front of the other. Even if you were in pain, you
32:22
still cool in you went to do your treatments and things of that nature.
32:25
But you showed up for you, you were in control of what you allowed
32:30
yourself, and you had a good support system around you and I think a
32:35
good support system also plays a major role in what it is that we endure,
32:40
because if you don't have good people pouring into you, your cup is
32:45
really going to be depleted and you're not going to have that. But if
32:50
you're able to pour into yourself, the things that we speak over ourselves are
32:53
the things that get us through what we're going through. But one thing that
32:59
I will always say is God is included. There's absolutely no way you're not
33:05
gonna come out on top. The when you get further away from Him is
33:08
where you're really going to see. But sometimes God is gonna let you hit
33:13
rock bottom through I do understand that, yeah, And I think for me,
33:17
I think God sent special people in my life. I think that was
33:22
an assignment. Like my pastor, they sent her in my life. Then
33:27
they sent three ladies that you know, I take as that they are my
33:30
like soul sisters, like my I mean praying sisters, and like it's going
33:37
Miss Jackie and it's optimies. God sends people in your life to help you
33:45
over that hell. I'm telling you because when those three ladies came in my
33:49
life, I was on the fence. I was straddling. There was these
33:53
that I did wanted to give up because it was a lot on me.
33:58
There was these, but I had this one granddaughter. She's ten now,
34:01
and I had her since she was two months soul, and we never was
34:07
apart, never was apart since she's been too much until I got sick,
34:13
until I got sick with COVID and I was on a ventilator. I mean,
34:16
her whole world just got taken a week. And I think that was
34:21
my one thing too that pushed me, because I know I needed to get
34:24
back home to her because she was like if she was taking everybody do it?
34:30
She just was, Yeah, I don't believe that. And it's one
34:35
of those things, like we were talking about before the show Granded, is
34:38
that's a whole nother level of love and affection and everything, and when they
34:45
are attached to you, like my granddaughter. My daughter tells me all the
34:51
time, like if Scott has been with me for two days and she goes
34:54
home and they will tell her, Okay, well we're gonna go see grandma
35:00
tomorrow. And if they don't come see me tomorrow, oh, she had
35:04
a whole attitude because they didn't bring her to see me. It's she's like,
35:08
well, we gonna go see your grandma today. And I was like,
35:12
look, it ain't my fault. Y'all told her y'all were gonna bring
35:15
her to see me, and she expected to see me and she didn't mean
35:19
to see me through the phone. She meant to be in my presence.
35:22
That's y'all's fault. So y'all need to bring her when y'all tell her,
35:25
and she won't be showing up. Yeah, that's right. There's something else.
35:31
And then another thing is too that the job that I was on at
35:37
the Apartment of Juvenile Justice, It's like when they saw me come in in
35:40
with the oxygen tank, that was another thing. That was another blow that
35:45
like took me away from everything, and I was, you know, I
35:51
just wasn't happy because I just feel that, you know, why you treated
35:55
me like this just because I have an oxygen tank, but my work proves
36:00
who I am. And when I had to confront them one on one and
36:06
I'm saying, you know, and this is discrimination of the way that you
36:09
treated me. But I was one of the best workers. And then the
36:15
facility director told me that and she said, with Jackson, I don't know
36:20
how you do it, but she said you'd be moving with the oxygen tank.
36:23
So just to see that, just because they may see you as a
36:29
physical handicap, mentally, you not handicap. It may be physically, but
36:34
still you're still able to do what you need to do and move forward.
36:39
And I feel that my heart is like I love working with kids. That's
36:45
another thing that I love to do. And that's why I opened my organization
36:49
for African American girls so they can understand the culture and understand our risks and
36:55
our health needs and want them. They also be educated of knowing what does
37:00
it feel to have breast cancer, what's the ease to go and get on
37:04
your mammogram and with the eage to go and get a pack smear things like
37:07
that, any kind of sign notify your parents and let your parents know that,
37:10
you know, Mom, I'm not feeling good. My head is hurting,
37:14
or I may have a lump or something in my brains and the signs
37:19
might not be there, but the physical appearance of that pin will reflect because
37:24
your body will shit down. Yep. It's one thing you definitely need to
37:30
pay attention to the signals that your body gets. Like I have had to
37:35
have I've had. I have. I'm grateful that I have not had breast
37:38
cancer. However, I've had to have viobs since I was twenty three years
37:43
old because I started developing lumps in my breast. So it started at the
37:47
age of twenty three. And so whenever I tell people that it's been every
37:52
year since I was twenty three to have a mammogram and to have an ultrasound
37:59
and also have bops, he's done because at twenty three, you know,
38:02
they really don't do mammograms on women that are that young. So they did
38:08
the ultrasound, and they did the ultrasound and they're like, no, we
38:10
need to do a biob see today. And so it's like, Okay,
38:16
I'm not really sure if this is what is in my cards, but if
38:21
it's in God's cards for me, we're just gonna have to deal with it.
38:24
And I know I've been one of those people to pray and be like,
38:29
God, look, can we hold off on this right here, because
38:34
there's so many things that you already have on my plate and I'm not sure
38:37
if I'm capable of getting through this. And the answer is always, I
38:44
wouldn't bring you to it if I wouldn't see you through it. And God
38:47
has always seen me through everything that He has put in front of me.
38:52
And the one thing that I will always say is that anything in any person
38:58
that you come in contact, it's all by God's design. It's never by
39:01
coincidence. The people that God sent to you were meant to be with you
39:06
during that time, and when He starts to remove people from you, it's
39:09
because they no longer serve the purpose in which they were sent to you in
39:14
the beginning. And we have to learn to be okay with that, because
39:17
not everybody is meant to be with us for a lifetime. And I think
39:22
that's one of the things that we often get mixed up in because we want
39:25
to keep people for a lifetime, regardless of what they've done or what they've
39:30
said to us. And you got to be okay with letting go and even
39:36
letting go with the old version of yourself, because you're different from the person
39:38
you were yesterday, and the sooner we get to understand that that you are
39:45
forever changing, and the more you change, the more you got to get
39:49
to know who you are. And every year you become a different version of
39:53
the person you were last year and that's all part of the growth process and
39:58
learning who God has called you to be. We walk in purpose every day,
40:04
but what is your intention with the purpose that God has given you?
40:07
That's true? And I just just thinking about and just thinking about, you
40:13
know, I'm just saying all the time, I said, dang, I'm
40:15
still here after like everything I've been through, I said, I'm you know,
40:22
I'm still here. It's like, what is it? You know,
40:25
like why am I still here? And you know, you're never supposed to
40:29
question God, but I'm telling you. I go to church. My pastor
40:34
said, oh and she seen me coming in now and she said, oh,
40:36
yep, so you know what God did for you? And like nobody
40:43
can't tell you God is not real because with everything that I've been through,
40:49
it was like a hurdle. It's like one thing after another. It's like
40:52
how, I mean, how much more can a person, you know,
40:55
take? And I was like losing my mom and then my brother and my
41:00
sister and then having to do with breast cancer. That was a lot.
41:04
It was a lot. Like I said, it was these I wanted to
41:07
give up. But then I always listened to this song Encourage yourself by to
41:12
Try City Singers and Donald Lawrence. I listened to that song a lot because
41:15
they knew, like did so much more for me. It's just so much
41:22
more. Yeah, I know that weight was heavy, I know that burden
41:27
was a lot, But he didn't put you through any of that without a
41:31
purpose. The loss of your mom taught you something, because the loss of
41:37
my mom has taught me so much more than I could have even imagined.
41:40
The loss of your brother and the loss of your sister, those were things
41:45
that you, like, God, why did you take them now? I
41:47
still needed them. I needed time with them. But one thing that I've
41:52
learned about time is that we're not guaranteed the next moment, So we lived
41:59
like it's our last every day. But don't be so cocky and thinking that
42:04
you're gonna have a next moment. So love on the people that love you.
42:07
Forget those who don't. People who say bad things about you, that
42:12
ain't your business, no way. Let them think whatever they want to feel
42:15
however they want to, because at the end of the day, it ain't
42:17
so business. It ain't so concern because who you are is who God created
42:22
you to be, and who you're gonna be is who God created you to
42:25
be. And that's one thing that I have learned to tell myself. Whatever
42:30
you think about me, that ain't my business. If you like me,
42:32
great, if you love me even better. If you can't stand the ground
42:36
I walk on, that's your business, and you have every right to feel
42:39
that way. But what I'm not gonna do is waste my time worrying about
42:44
it. Because as long as God and my children and grandchildren are pleased with
42:47
me, then were good. We are definitely good. And it's never a
42:52
wrong thing to question God about what his plans are for you, because then
42:59
you get to get a clear understanding of who you were created to be.
43:02
And so it's not questioning why me, is questioning what is what I do?
43:10
Is? I stopped asking the question why me? I started asking what
43:15
is this teaching me? What am I supposed to learn from this? Because
43:20
there is a reason I'm in this position? Why am I going through this
43:24
again? I have a book that I read, and this book that I
43:29
read is called Passing the Test of Life. And the last chapter in that
43:35
book, and when I tell you, I've read this book backwards and forwards
43:38
so many different times, and the last chapter of this book is what you
43:44
went through, which was the world wind of everything coming at one time,
43:49
and you were able to pass those tests, which is why you're still here.
43:53
Because you were passing the test. It was a WorldWind of everything being
43:59
on your and you not knowing if you had enough to get through the next
44:05
thing. But you're not using that oxygen tank like where you're now unable to
44:14
drive, you're driving again. You know all of those things that you look
44:19
back on, because this is something that I do for myself. I look
44:22
back of where I was and I look at where I am now, and
44:25
I'm like, God, that was only you because I was praying for strength,
44:31
and when I was praying for strength, you were putting me through.
44:36
You were showing me that I still had the strength. And people will say,
44:38
and it bothers me when people say God gives his battles to his toughest
44:44
soldiers, and I don't believe that. What I believe is God has already
44:49
equipped us with everything that we need. Is up to us to dig deep
44:53
and knowing what He instilled in us to get through whatever it is that's placed
44:59
in front of him. He didn't equip us to be you know, little
45:02
whips or anything. He equipped us to be strong and to be able to
45:07
prepare us for what we're going through. We've already been equipped with the armor
45:12
of God. We just need to know that everything that we're going through,
45:15
we have something that He instilled in us to get us through what we're going
45:20
through. Because He will always tell you, I'm not gonna take you through
45:24
something that I'm not gonna see you through. If I brought you to it,
45:29
I will see you through it. And that is one thing that He
45:30
has done over and over again. So if He brought you through anything and
45:36
any the next obstacle that you're gonna face, because it's gonna come. There's
45:39
gonna be some rain. There's gonna be some earthquakes. There's gonna be some
45:44
hurricanes. It's gonna be some tornados. It's gonna be a bunch of stuff
45:46
that you're gonna be going through. But God is gonna give you everything that
45:51
you need to get through. He's gonna provide the shelter when there's rain.
45:54
He's gonna provide you with everything that you need. As long as you keep
45:59
walking through the storm and don't stand in the storm, you'll be fine.
46:02
So cry your tears, release whatever it is. When you feeling whatever it
46:09
is, give yourself permission to be okay with the emotions that you're feeling,
46:15
be okay with getting through everything that you've gone through. And as I said
46:21
before, you don't look like what you've been through. And that's a testimony
46:24
in itself. So when somebody asks you how you doing if you're not feeling
46:29
good that day, Lisa, Baby, I don't feel good. I gotta
46:32
feel good. You know, I'm trying to psyche myself up because this is
46:37
my thing. I will try to psyche myself up into looking good versus feeling
46:42
good. So I try and be like, look, I don't feel good,
46:45
but you telling me I look cute today. That is helping me to
46:50
feel better, even if it's only for five minutes. That five minutes felt
46:53
better than what it did before. Because I'm gonna be honest with you.
46:57
Yesterday I had to have two breathing treatments because I've been dealing with seasonal asthma.
47:04
Nobody but my kids knew that. So me having that cough and everything
47:08
that I've been dealing with, I had to have two breathing treatments while I
47:13
was at work yesterday. I also had to use my rescue in Halo twice
47:16
yesterday, but I ain't worried about none of that. I got my rescue
47:22
in Halo right here. So if we had to, I had to do
47:24
that while we were talking. I was gonna do that while we was talking
47:28
because one thing, I will not let the devil have any credit, and
47:30
it stopped me from doing anything that I'm supposed to be doing. I have
47:34
been done this show when I could barely talk. I'm gonna do what God
47:38
has called me to do. So don't be shamed. Ul tell your story.
47:44
If they asking you what you've gone through, what you've been through,
47:47
tell them Listen, baby, I'm gonna tell y'all. Don't look like what
47:51
I've been through, but I'm gonna tell you what I don't been through.
47:53
Because it gives people the understanding that God can do any and everything that he
48:01
said he was gonna do, and if he promised you something, know that
48:06
he's going to deliver. Just be patient because sometimes we get a little impatient.
48:09
We don't want to wait on God. But God's time and is never
48:15
delayed. It's always on time because what He's an on time God know,
48:22
but I want to thank you so much for being here and sharing your testimony
48:28
because I know that what you said talk shared and touched somebody in ways that
48:34
they didn't even know they needed to be touched tonight, because when I tell
48:38
you, there have been people who wanted to know what you were going through
48:44
and you didn't even know how to tell him. You know, you told
48:46
me that before we got on that you were nervous about baby. It was
48:51
enough for you to be nervous about because it was all what God needed for
48:55
you to say and deliver to somebody else. Tanya's says, he didn't promise
49:00
there wouldn't be rain and songs, but he promised you wouldn't get wet.
49:05
Now, that is one thing that he did say. If he's going to
49:08
provide the shelter, he gonna provide the shelter. He gonna provide everything that
49:14
you need to go through anything. If he's giving you an idea for anything,
49:19
he's going to provide the provisions. How good is your faith? How
49:22
good is your walk with him? How good is your commitment to being able
49:27
to surrender yourself to what He's calling you to do? How good is that
49:32
relationship. How good is your surrender talk about yeah and all of that ties
49:39
and to having that relationship with God. And you know, I'm just challenging
49:45
anybody out there that don't have a pastor or don't have somebody, you know,
49:52
just reach out and find somebody that you can connect with that has a
49:57
spiritual background and and found And it was one thing that I created for myself
50:02
a memory box. So with the memory boss, I have candles, I
50:08
have pins because I like pins, like different kind of pins make me happy.
50:13
I love lotion, like good smell of lotion. Yes, and anything
50:20
that I like, I put it inside my memory Boss. I even took
50:22
a picture of my vision board and I put that inside of my memory box.
50:28
So sometimes when I feel down, I just like reach and get my
50:31
memory boss and I go through it. And I said, I already did
50:34
this. I already did this, and I think about all the good things
50:37
I did when I did that, and just know that, you know,
50:40
I created this by myself, and I know I'm bound to do more good
50:45
things in life. So you know, just to put it out there,
50:50
if anybody don't have a pass that they connected with, just please, you
50:55
know, find a pastor or even online church program and try to get connected
51:01
with somebody. Well, I got one more question before we go for you,
51:07
and that is how can people reach out to you if they wanted to
51:09
continue to keep in touch? How can they do that? Oh? They
51:15
can actually go through my Facebook page. It's LaToya Jackson, and I have
51:22
the picture of me with my camouflage hat I was in the gym I'm doing
51:27
when I was in rehab, So I have that on my email address It's
51:31
al Jackson reading zero two at y'allhoo dot com. But my Facebook would be
51:37
the fastest wait for them to actually contact me. Yeah, okay, Well,
51:43
I thank you so so much for being you. You was so much
51:46
for having me. Of course, I told you I was gonna get you
51:52
on this podcast when I was telling you, I was about to start it,
51:54
and I kept my word because I know that somebody needed to hear what
52:00
you had to share tonight. But before I end the show, y'all know,
52:04
I can't end without saying this, and that is stay out of God's
52:07
business. The only thing God needs you to do is be obedient to what
52:10
He's called you to do. So until next time, I'll see you guys
52:15
later, I love you, good Night, good night nursing. Ah,
52:28
things ain't what things where all the Blue Sky's boy