Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / UNHEARD: Wees Technique
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: The Whole Aching Big Show with Jason, Mike and Keyzy.
- 0:03Speaker 1: Tune in week days at four on Radio hod IK
- 0:06Speaker 1: Lincoln Park.
- 0:07Speaker 2: There on the Radio Honarchy Big Show this Monday afternoon.
- 0:10Speaker 3: The time is twenty six minutes past four o'clock.
- 0:13Speaker 2: We're talking about horrendous things to do when you hungover, yeah,
- 0:17Speaker 2: and not that it was horrendous that you went to
- 0:19Speaker 2: watch your daughter play do ballet.
- 0:22Speaker 3: That's right.
- 0:22Speaker 4: I went to my daughter, six year old daughter's ballet
- 0:25Speaker 4: recital yesterday. It's a massive school that did great work,
- 0:28Speaker 4: but it doesn't feel like the best thing you could
- 0:30Speaker 4: be doing with your time when you're massively hungover, going
- 0:33Speaker 4: to a two and a half hour long show and
- 0:34Speaker 4: pretty brutal heat yesterday here in Auckland.
- 0:37Speaker 2: You just reminded me too, actually, Mogi of another thing
- 0:40Speaker 2: that was a nightmare back in the day for me
- 0:43Speaker 2: was the old sports tawneys.
- 0:44Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 0:45Speaker 2: So it would be an all day a fear, yeah,
- 0:48Speaker 2: and so you'd have to go. I mean, I loved
- 0:50Speaker 2: watching my girls play sport, genuinely, But if you're pretty
- 0:54Speaker 2: hungover and she's pissing down all day and you're standing
- 0:57Speaker 2: on the sidelines just going ah.
- 1:00Speaker 4: Anything a couch man. Yeah, yes, interested, like you said
- 1:04Speaker 4: the should we go under the beach for an ice cream?
- 1:06Speaker 4: It's absolutely not absolutely.
- 1:10Speaker 5: Someone here says text through on three four out three
- 1:12Speaker 5: three four eight three watching junior nitball in the rain
- 1:15Speaker 5: as a ball lake. Yes, I think I mean ball lake. Yeah,
- 1:19Speaker 5: but they agree with you, Jose.
- 1:20Speaker 2: A lot of my girls playing netball, so I did
- 1:22Speaker 2: a lot of that. I basically stayed in the car
- 1:26Speaker 2: with my spectacles, you know, with machades on, and just
- 1:30Speaker 2: observed it from there.
- 1:32Speaker 5: My newspaper, heaps of ticks coming in on three through.
- 1:35Speaker 5: The worst thing UK have done whilst hungover. Someone here
- 1:38Speaker 5: jack hammering, that would be pretty tough, Okada, fellows. I
- 1:44Speaker 5: went to my mate's funeral hungover. A bunch of us
- 1:47Speaker 5: caught up the night before. I didn't shot the bed
- 1:49Speaker 5: in the morning of the funeral.
- 1:52Speaker 4: Not good, although could be worse.
- 1:55Speaker 5: Yeah, because it was. Yes, but that is pretty Ballet
- 2:01Speaker 5: show Sunday morning, three hours long. Little cute, little kids
- 2:04Speaker 5: are cute, but this was an adult first time ballet
- 2:07Speaker 5: class that they were watching. It goes on to start,
- 2:10Speaker 5: I want to see your mum looking like a sausage
- 2:12Speaker 5: and a leotard on stage under mistletoe.
- 2:14Speaker 4: No.
- 2:15Speaker 5: Worst thing was my mate's daughter's first birthday a couple
- 2:18Speaker 5: of years ago. Butterfly Creek, which is up here in Auckland.
- 2:21Speaker 5: I know the place is almost died waiting for them
- 2:24Speaker 5: to feed the alligators. Felt like I was going to faint,
- 2:27Speaker 5: but there were kids and alligators everywhere. So it's just
- 2:29Speaker 5: it's not good, is it.
- 2:30Speaker 2: I told you the other day he felt. I was
- 2:32Speaker 2: on the podcast Outra. My wife booked us tickets to
- 2:35Speaker 2: a choir. I wasn't hungover or anything, but it was
- 2:40Speaker 2: two hours long and it was an old a choir.
- 2:44Speaker 4: Yes of enthusiasts, Yeah, that's right, enthusias, plenty of enthusiasts.
- 2:48Speaker 2: And as soon as the first note hit the air,
- 2:50Speaker 2: I went, We've got.
- 2:54Speaker 5: Lyle from Auckland on the line. Gooday, Lyle, Yeah, good, Hey,
- 3:00Speaker 5: what's the worst thing you've done?
- 3:01Speaker 2: Well?
- 3:01Speaker 4: Hungover?
- 3:02Speaker 6: Well, back in the day when I was first going
- 3:05Speaker 6: out with the missus, she's a scientist, and we went
- 3:09Speaker 6: to a native bird release and they fenced predator free
- 3:15Speaker 6: and it happened to be on a Sunday morning, right.
- 3:18Speaker 5: Hangover, and they were what were they doing? They were releasing.
- 3:21Speaker 6: Birds, releasing endangered bird.
- 3:24Speaker 5: Right, okay, and you're hungover doing that? Yeah that sounds bloody.
- 3:28Speaker 6: So you know it was a windy road there. That
- 3:31Speaker 6: was tough. Luckily she picked me up. Yeah, I do remember.
- 3:37Speaker 6: The bird was a stitch bird. I think, tiniest bird
- 3:45Speaker 6: you've ever seen. So when when all the kids lined up,
- 3:48Speaker 6: they all opened the box, they were so fast you
- 3:51Speaker 6: didn't even see them come out. And then you know,
- 3:56Speaker 6: the paper were there and everything, and I'm like, is that?
- 3:59Speaker 6: And then a walk and I had to sit under
- 4:01Speaker 6: a tree for a while.
- 4:02Speaker 3: I was.
- 4:04Speaker 5: Yeah, good on your law. That's an excellent story mate.
- 4:06Speaker 5: You hold the line old pugs on a hook. You
- 4:08Speaker 5: up for something good?
- 4:09Speaker 2: What about you, Kezy, because I mean, I know you
- 4:12Speaker 2: don't have kids and stuff, but yeah.
- 4:17Speaker 4: I'm going to should.
- 4:18Speaker 3: I what you announce that?
- 4:21Speaker 4: I'm all right. I promised I wouldn't say that.
- 4:23Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, no, no, stop announcing that I'm having kids.
- 4:27Speaker 4: We're not. You're announcing. If there's one thing I know,
- 4:31Speaker 4: if anybody is going to announce the fact that your
- 4:33Speaker 4: wife is pregnant, it's going to be you.
- 4:36Speaker 3: Yes, totally, I'm not going to do it.
- 4:38Speaker 2: But you've been hungover a few times in your life, keasy,
- 4:41Speaker 2: what's the worst thing you have had to do?
- 4:43Speaker 1: Probably this show right now, The Hidarchy Big Show week
- 4:47Speaker 1: days from four on Radio Hdarky.
- 4:50Speaker 2: Indeed, David Bewie there on the radio Holdarky Big Show
- 4:53Speaker 2: this Tuesday afternoon of time, twenty three minutes past five o'clock.
- 4:58Speaker 4: Fellas, I'm a little bit worried that I'm getting old. Okay,
- 5:01Speaker 4: I've had a couple of things going on lately, you know. Well,
- 5:03Speaker 4: one of them is that I keep losing everything. Old
- 5:06Speaker 4: old Foggy Moggie is losing his car keys, He's losing
- 5:10Speaker 4: his wallet, his sunglasses and pretty much everything. Yes, everyone
- 5:14Speaker 4: carry it around with me. I can lose it. I
- 5:17Speaker 4: haven't lost my balls yet, no marbles? Oh yeah no, what.
- 5:20Speaker 3: Well, you need a fanny pack?
- 5:23Speaker 4: Cheers, cheers? Well, Christmas is coming, So I kept that
- 5:27Speaker 4: in mine.
- 5:27Speaker 5: Brother. That's actually a really good idea. If you just
- 5:30Speaker 5: had a fanny pack, yes, with all that stuff in it, Yes,
- 5:32Speaker 5: could be a you know.
- 5:33Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Happy happy holiday.
- 5:37Speaker 4: So old Mogi came out. This is exciting. Hey, guys,
- 5:40Speaker 4: I went to a cafeteria the other day, a cafe
- 5:44Speaker 4: they call them here in Auckland. And as further evidence
- 5:47Speaker 4: that I'm getting old, I was speaking to the waitress
- 5:51Speaker 4: there and a dad joke formed in my mind, clear
- 5:55Speaker 4: as day, right in front of me, in my mind's eye. Okay,
- 5:58Speaker 4: not visible to anybody else right now.
- 6:00Speaker 3: I saw it.
- 6:01Speaker 4: I read it, and I went in my head. I
- 6:04Speaker 4: was like, now, I'm not saying that. She left the
- 6:07Speaker 4: waitress and then I told my wife. I said, she
- 6:09Speaker 4: so that was close. I nearly said a dad's joke.
- 6:11Speaker 4: She said, what was a dad's joke? And I told
- 6:12Speaker 4: her what it was, and she says, oh yeah, Jesus,
- 6:15Speaker 4: oh god, that's not good. Now I'm assuming that time
- 6:18Speaker 4: is going to come where I don't think that's not
- 6:20Speaker 4: that's not a go. I'm just going to start saying
- 6:22Speaker 4: it as far it out. Is that how it worked
- 6:24Speaker 4: for you, James, because obviously you've got four daughters.
- 6:27Speaker 3: Yeah, look, they're just contant. That don't stop now pour
- 6:31Speaker 3: out of me.
- 6:31Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 6:32Speaker 5: So if I was to say to you, Dad, I'm hungry,
- 6:35Speaker 5: what would you say.
- 6:37Speaker 3: Go and get a job and pay for your own food?
- 6:40Speaker 3: You sponge?
- 6:41Speaker 5: Right, I thought you were said, high hungry. I'm dead?
- 6:43Speaker 4: Yeah?
- 6:44Speaker 3: Is that not?
- 6:45Speaker 4: That's another word?
- 6:46Speaker 5: Yeah, it's yeah, okay, cool? Right, So how do you
- 6:49Speaker 5: want to tell us what the dad joke was?
- 6:51Speaker 4: Well, I think context is a key, because I thought
- 6:54Speaker 4: my wife was bloody harsh on me. Actually I could
- 6:56Speaker 4: see her falling even further out of love with me
- 6:58Speaker 4: as I described it. But I said to her, in
- 7:00Speaker 4: my defense, I didn't say it. I only thought it.
- 7:03Speaker 4: I recognized that it was a terrible joke, and I
- 7:05Speaker 4: didn't say it. Surely I get some respect for that.
- 7:07Speaker 4: She said, no, you don't, right, right, yeah, So can
- 7:09Speaker 4: we can we play this out? Keysy? Is it or?
- 7:11Speaker 3: Good? Man?
- 7:11Speaker 4: I want you to? Can you be the waitress? Okay, okay,
- 7:15Speaker 4: all right? The waitress? Yeah she was a waitress. Okay,
- 7:17Speaker 4: yeah you're a waitress. Yeah, you're the waitress. And I'm
- 7:20Speaker 4: just sitting down at the table. And it's me and
- 7:22Speaker 4: my daughter, Mogi Minogui, who's six years old, and then
- 7:26Speaker 4: my and my wife as well, whose age doesn't matter, Keysy,
- 7:29Speaker 4: it's none of your business, all.
- 7:30Speaker 5: Right, who's playing? So is Jase playing someone? Jase, You're
- 7:32Speaker 5: gonna be my missus if you want?
- 7:34Speaker 4: Men? Oh, yeah, I'll just I'll just be sitting here. Okay, okay, okay,
- 7:40Speaker 4: here we go.
- 7:41Speaker 5: Hi there, Hi, How are you good? Thanks? Would you
- 7:45Speaker 5: guys like something to drink to start?
- 7:47Speaker 2: Oh?
- 7:48Speaker 4: Yes, please? I think I'm going to hear. I have
- 7:50Speaker 4: an especially with some hot water on the side, and
- 7:53Speaker 4: I'll get a fluffy for my from a little mate
- 7:56Speaker 4: over here.
- 7:56Speaker 3: And I'll have an oat flat white. Thank you.
- 8:00Speaker 5: Okay, no problem, man. Would you guys like some coloring
- 8:03Speaker 5: pencils as well? Oh?
- 8:04Speaker 4: Yes please? And can I have some for my for
- 8:07Speaker 4: my daughter as well? So that was the dad joke.
- 8:12Speaker 4: So that was a dad joke.
- 8:14Speaker 5: I thought you were gonna say not for me like
- 8:17Speaker 5: that would to be fair that it was the funnier
- 8:18Speaker 5: dad joke that I thought.
- 8:20Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not too bad. It's too bad.
- 8:22Speaker 4: It felt shocking because my wife's talking divorce. Yeah, yeah right,
- 8:27Speaker 4: I mean it's not great.
- 8:28Speaker 2: I don't want to I think, yeah, I just don't
- 8:30Speaker 2: need to be too hard on yourself.
- 8:31Speaker 3: I mean it's a shocker, yeah right.
- 8:34Speaker 4: Because the other problem as well is what the waitress
- 8:38Speaker 4: early twenties. Now, if I'm saying that joke to somebody
- 8:41Speaker 4: who's older, sort of my age. It's sort of like
- 8:43Speaker 4: he gives you know, you're just an idiot anyway. Yeah,
- 8:46Speaker 4: but as just sort of young people think you're suck anyway.
- 8:48Speaker 4: So coming in with a joke like that is just
- 8:50Speaker 4: going to be you know, you're gonna get hit with
- 8:51Speaker 4: some real fake laughter.
- 8:56Speaker 5: Good one, Mogi.
- 8:58Speaker 1: I would actually be a show with Jason, Mike and
- 9:01Speaker 1: keysy tune in week days and four on Radio Hodarkey.
- 9:04Speaker 2: Off spring there on the radio hold Archy Big Show
- 9:07Speaker 2: this Friday afternoon.
- 9:10Speaker 5: Day fellas, you might notice pug Sons.
- 9:12Speaker 4: In the room.
- 9:13Speaker 5: Yes, hello, hey you pie guys. Pugs, Hey, first time
- 9:17Speaker 5: in the new studio guys. Yeah, oh man, so good.
- 9:20Speaker 4: That's a different thing.
- 9:21Speaker 3: Not loving your cap.
- 9:23Speaker 7: Okay, Pugs, Not loving your turkeys Pugs.
- 9:25Speaker 5: Yeah turkey shit. No, seriously though, Pugs. I've got a
- 9:27Speaker 5: bone pit with you, man, What I got a bone
- 9:30Speaker 5: a pit? You mentioned something yesterday which I thought was disgusting.
- 9:35Speaker 5: What you said that you went for a run, which
- 9:38Speaker 5: is great, but you said that you needed to do
- 9:41Speaker 5: wheeze and that your pants were too tight, and so
- 9:44Speaker 5: instead of undoing your pants, you knelt down and pulled
- 9:48Speaker 5: your pant legs sideways and peede out the side of
- 9:50Speaker 5: your shorts. What say you?
- 9:53Speaker 7: I have a few corrections to make their keysy. Right first,
- 9:57Speaker 7: before I get to those, thank you for your compliment
- 9:59Speaker 7: on my running.
- 10:00Speaker 5: Okay, really appreciated running is great. Yeah, i'd say your
- 10:03Speaker 5: running was great, but yes, go four k. Well, I
- 10:08Speaker 5: appreciate it was really hard. Secondly, there was no kneeling.
- 10:13Speaker 4: Involved because it's a Jerry Collins.
- 10:15Speaker 5: Yeah, that's the Jerry Collins before the during the hucker,
- 10:17Speaker 5: not just after the hukker.
- 10:18Speaker 4: Right near on the field and get your piece out
- 10:21Speaker 4: and then urinate on what was the cake?
- 10:23Speaker 5: T believe was the ca yea on National Teller. Yeah,
- 10:28Speaker 5: really really.
- 10:28Speaker 4: Loved that from him.
- 10:29Speaker 5: Uh, there was no kneeling.
- 10:31Speaker 7: It was simply pull the pant the short leg as
- 10:35Speaker 7: far across as was appropriate to avoid any splashing.
- 10:39Speaker 3: Right.
- 10:40Speaker 7: Yeah, And the reason they weren't too tight the waistband
- 10:43Speaker 7: was too tight.
- 10:44Speaker 4: Because I was about to go for a running.
- 10:45Speaker 7: They got them the perfect amount of tightness that they
- 10:47Speaker 7: wouldn't do any falling while I was running. So the
- 10:49Speaker 7: drawstring was really tight and I couldn't be bothered getting
- 10:51Speaker 7: them back to that perfect into a toilet.
- 10:54Speaker 5: Yes, oh right, I thought you.
- 10:56Speaker 7: Sorry, Chris, if I can say in the privacy of
- 10:59Speaker 7: my own home, if that's okay with you.
- 11:01Speaker 4: I was wondering. I want you to know that. And
- 11:02Speaker 4: I can't speak for you, Jos, but I knew nothing
- 11:05Speaker 4: about this bone to pick, and I don't support it.
- 11:09Speaker 2: The same thing when I'm wearing jeans.
- 11:12Speaker 4: Chase Jace.
- 11:15Speaker 5: No one believes that your peace all the way down
- 11:17Speaker 5: to the bottom of your bone.
- 11:19Speaker 3: De peck with me this bullshit.
- 11:23Speaker 4: I got a bone a bit.
- 11:25Speaker 2: I'm with Moggie on this surprise and the fact that
- 11:29Speaker 2: you had a bone depick without informing Moggie. And I
- 11:32Speaker 2: want you because I would never have allowed your bone
- 11:35Speaker 2: to be picked. If that's what.
- 11:37Speaker 5: Who made you the picking bone police, the people that
- 11:40Speaker 5: have to approve every bone that's getting picked.
- 11:42Speaker 4: I'm going to say that I often do that as well.
- 11:45Speaker 3: Pat.
- 11:45Speaker 4: So you reach down your under hook. It's a classic
- 11:49Speaker 4: under hook. You get a bit of a crab claw
- 11:52Speaker 4: going on, you pull it over to the side there
- 11:55Speaker 4: after the races, and then just let it snap back
- 11:58Speaker 4: into position. If you haven't urinated like that, Kisa, you
- 12:02Speaker 4: haven't lived man. It's just another sign to me that
- 12:04Speaker 4: you're living two shelters a light.
- 12:06Speaker 3: I agree.
- 12:08Speaker 2: If now, can I tell you something that you probably
- 12:10Speaker 2: you guys will be a little bit grossed out by this, maybe,
- 12:13Speaker 2: but often when I'm walking to the car with your Keysy,
- 12:15Speaker 2: I'm just weaing as we're walking along, and she's just
- 12:17Speaker 2: going out into the gut of there.
- 12:19Speaker 5: Well, are you like sure shait redemption and you're just
- 12:21Speaker 5: emptying it out at the bottom of your trouser legs.
- 12:23Speaker 2: Yeah, out of the jean legs on the way to
- 12:26Speaker 2: the car, because I because you know what happens.
- 12:29Speaker 3: You need to go to the toilet and it takes.
- 12:31Speaker 2: Agey, You've got the staccato wheeze going, So I've.
- 12:35Speaker 5: Got staccato wheeze now right. So I was wondering why
- 12:38Speaker 5: wherever we went you lift a snail trail. It's disgusting.
- 12:42Speaker 5: That explains the smell too. Sorry for the bone to
- 12:45Speaker 5: pick pugs. It seems I was wrong.
- 12:47Speaker 1: Yeah, The Hiarchy Big Show was Jason, Mike and Kezy
- 12:51Speaker 1: tune in on Radio.
- 12:53Speaker 2: Hoki smashing pumpkins. There on the Radio Hodoki Big Show.
- 12:57Speaker 2: There's glorious now Thursday.
- 12:59Speaker 4: Evening, fellas, man, have I got a story for you?
- 13:01Speaker 3: Great stuff.
- 13:05Speaker 4: This music appropriate? Maybe the sexy music actually.
- 13:10Speaker 5: Okay, I can't do man.
- 13:13Speaker 4: Oh yeah, last night I had, for the very first
- 13:17Speaker 4: time in my life, a shower.
- 13:21Speaker 3: Oh yeah, now you.
- 13:24Speaker 5: Too, the first shower.
- 13:26Speaker 4: Let me finish.
- 13:27Speaker 5: Sorry, did I interrupt you?
- 13:30Speaker 4: Where I didn't wet my hair? What? I can't remember.
- 13:34Speaker 4: I don't think i've ever. I don't think i've ever
- 13:36Speaker 4: in my life had a shower and not put my
- 13:38Speaker 4: head underneath the knows it a force? It's that head?
- 13:43Speaker 3: Yes?
- 13:47Speaker 4: And I said to my wife, I think it's the
- 13:48Speaker 4: first time because I just couldn't be by the drug,
- 13:50Speaker 4: because I was literally just getting into bed straight afterwards.
- 13:53Speaker 4: And I thought there's no real point because I had
- 13:56Speaker 4: the case of the swamp ass.
- 13:59Speaker 3: Because he was cycling.
- 14:02Speaker 4: I wasn't. But it was quite bad. Do you know
- 14:04Speaker 4: how bad the swamp? And this is? I guess this
- 14:06Speaker 4: is a bit of a sidebar here. We'll come back
- 14:09Speaker 4: to the chat about the heres keeezy, all right. It
- 14:12Speaker 4: was so bad that I actually went to bed, and
- 14:14Speaker 4: then I was lying in bed, I was like, you
- 14:15Speaker 4: know what, I've got every shower.
- 14:17Speaker 5: So should I keep the sexy music on?
- 14:19Speaker 4: Swamp?
- 14:19Speaker 3: Yeah? I'm finding this real hot.
- 14:23Speaker 5: Well him having swamp pass.
- 14:25Speaker 4: Yeah, well the bit where I cleaned it out, that was.
- 14:28Speaker 3: I cleaned it out, opened some SuDS there.
- 14:35Speaker 4: But I was wondering with you guys, when it comes
- 14:38Speaker 4: to have a shower, do you always have swamp ass? Sorry, no,
- 14:46Speaker 4: you're here, I'm always you here.
- 14:49Speaker 3: I don't consider that I've had a shower unless I
- 14:51Speaker 3: do so, thank you.
- 14:53Speaker 5: Right, Okay, So that's how you define having a shower.
- 14:55Speaker 3: I can't.
- 14:58Speaker 2: I can't conceive of having a sho without whipping right here.
- 15:01Speaker 3: But you were saying, we're a shower cap.
- 15:06Speaker 2: Uh.
- 15:06Speaker 5: Sometimes, like if I've done my hair real nice, one.
- 15:10Speaker 3: Of those sort of puffy putting sort of things on your.
- 15:13Speaker 5: Hair, Yeah, puffy pudding put that on my hair there.
- 15:16Speaker 5: Sometimes I've done my hair real nice and I've got
- 15:18Speaker 5: swamp pass.
- 15:19Speaker 3: Yeah. Gross.
- 15:20Speaker 4: You put a cap over your swamp ass just so
- 15:23Speaker 4: it doesn't get washed out, to preserve it. You don't
- 15:27Speaker 4: want to ruin it.
- 15:28Speaker 5: Yeah, sometimes like a puffy pudding swamps.
- 15:32Speaker 2: I don't get swamp passed because the hell's swamp pass
- 15:36Speaker 2: because I wipe so thoroughly.
- 15:42Speaker 5: I still think we should get rid of the sixy music, No,
- 15:44Speaker 5: it's this is hot, is it?
- 15:46Speaker 2: I mean you you grace me out a bit, but
- 15:49Speaker 2: Mogi swamp Pass bring it.
- 15:52Speaker 1: The wold Aking Big Show with Mike and Kesy. Tune
- 15:55Speaker 1: in week days and four on Radio Hodaki